Sometimes I Wonder If I'm Good Enough...

As I said yesterday, my mom jokes that I ought to become Catholic. She jokes this partly because I joke and am actually sometimes sure that I'm going to Hell for (as the old confessional goes) "what I have done, and what I have left undone; I have not truly loved [G-d] with my whole heart." I can see in the way that the miracles that I wanted for Christmas came out. The ones that I even partially got are highlighted in yellow. The final score? A whopping "You're not good enough" 30%.

And no matter how I try, I still can't get over some certain vicious people at a certain church, one of whom did not do his or her job and does not meet the qualifications of his or her office-- and G-d hasn't had that the page be restored yet, even though those people unfairly and unjustly reported it.

1. To find the one for me-- self explanatory
2. To have dreams and visions that I need-- even the loner is content with dreams and visions; and if he or she uses them right, won't be lonely in the end. Yosef ben-Ya'akov wasn't.
3. To have the Rapture come-- self explanatory if you think about it
4. The fourth would be for more interaction and popularity at least on  Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter-- self explanatory  (I got the tiniest bit, but not much at all; and I even got some unfollows on Twitter.).
5. To find more relatives and family information-- you can't be lonely knowing that you're part of a family and having at least some relatives who care and, for once, believe you about at least certain things.
6. To have a pet-- self explanatory
7. To have some political cartoons published-- you can't be too lonely with some fame.
8.  To get my novels finished and published--  you can't be too lonely with some fame.
9. To firmly confirm the establishment of my Jewish lineage and find more family info, and have the unsaved in my dad's and mom's families saved while the saved ones grow in faith--  you can't be lonely knowing that you're part of a mishpacha and having at least some relatives who care and, for once, believe you about at least certain things; especially if your relatives are going to Heaven with you. (The confirmation isn't firm, though; and my cousin Marek hasn't recontacted me since Christmas.).
10.  To get through college successfully and to make aliyah if I can-- you can't be too lonely with some potential and success, and being where 'amikha are.