The "Nicole Factor" Is Online

Welcome to the Nicole Factor at blogspot.com.

Google+ Badge

Stage 32

My LinkedIn Profile

About Me

My Photo
My blog is "The Nicole Factor" on Blogspot, my Facebook page "Nicole Czarnecki aka Nickidewbear", and YouTube and Twitter accounts "Nickidewbear."

Nickidewbear on YouTube

Loading...

TwitThis

TwitThis

Twitter

Messianic Bible (As If the Bible Isn't)

Views

Facebook and Google Page

Reach Me On Facebook!

There was an error in this gadget

Search This Blog

Talk To Me on Fold3!

Monday, November 20, 2017

Thanksgiving 2017 Card From Reilly and Camille

PS Flash ended up being too much. However, "Mimi" liked this picture of Camille, and "Auntie Nicole" got the "eyes...aglow" idea from it. Also, Cam really did try to steal Ri's treats and had to go into her crate until Reilly's separate photo was taken, and she got an extra treat for getting into her crate as "Auntie Nicole" asked her to do while Reilly got an extra treat for finally cooperating with "Momma".

Sunday, November 19, 2017

You Don't Mess With The Ri WhereIn Belly Rubs Are Concerned

Toys with Camille are one matter. Belly rubs with Reilly are another. As "Auntie Michelle" learned and "Momma" saw earlier tonight, Reilly will even point to her belly with her paw when she wants a belly rub or wants a continuation of the belly rubs that she is receiving.

That is all for now. "Night nights" from "Momma" and Reilly, meanwhile.

A Letter That I Wrote In Reply To "as a former kickboxer", And I Encourage Everyone To Modify For Themselves And Send To Roy Moore

PS This is "Re: as a former kickboxer", and the original email came from "Judge" Roy Moore at his campaign website (He is that pretentious: he doesn't even use "Former Judge".).

With all due respect, don't assume that I support a RINO and so-called "Christian" like you just because I'm a Republican. By the way, you broke at least these commandments when you assaulted and battered your victims, and are breaking at least these commandments now:

  1. "You shall have no other gods". You're making yourself your own god.
  2. "You shall not make images to which you bow down and which you worship." You are deliberately trying to project a false image of yourself.
  3. "You shall not take the Name of Yehovah your God in vain." As to how you're breaking this command doesn't even need to be explained to you, as you are using the Name of Yehovah to do evil to others.
  4. "You shall not murder." Rape is a form of murder, and you committed murder against every single girl whom you raped.
  5. "You shall not commit adultery." Rape is certainly a form of adultery on the part of the rapist. 
  6. "You shall not steal." Rape is a form of theft.
  7. "You shall not bear false witness." Slandering and libelling your victims alone is bearing false witness.
  8. "You shall not covet." As to how you're breaking this command doesn't even need to be explained to you, as you know why pursuing any woman to try to rape is covetous.
   By the way, please don't be using my God's Name to be doing evil, and don't be using my Messiah's name to harm my people. On that note, you and your friend "Bernie Bernstein" owe not only your victims an apology; you also owe the Jewish community an apology.

 
Sincerely, 

A Jew whom dislikes you and your Anti-Semitic friend

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Open Letter To Lori Shandle-Fox

I was reading "As A Southern Jew..." and wondering why you complain when you know that the computer class is at a church. What really upset me though is that you make the case seem like Jacob's getting mixed messages.

On the one hand, you wanted to, frankly, be an antimissionary within a church. If, for instance, Jews For Jesus were at a technology camp at a JCC, I'd get the "Stop it!...Stop it NOW!" But at a church? You went as far as entertaining the idea of frankly doing something borderline close to what Donin and Christiani did. On the other hand, you made Jacob feel like you'd be mad at him for living out the values with which he is being raised. Jacob will certainly have a hard-enough time living the South if he keeps getting mixed messages from within his own family.

By the way, he'll also have a hard time if he learns that projection is acceptable. For example, you said that you thought that you heard something other than, "Do you want juice?" Maybe a sentiment about people whom you don't want to be around is manifesting itself in your thoughts and actions in ugly ways. As Jayne said, don't take Jacob to places where Jesus will be brought up if you don't want to hear about Jesus; and I add, don't hang around Christians if you don't want them around.

I also hasten to add that sending children mixed messages and teaching children "Hate thy neighbor and project thy hatred on thy neighbor" are not Jewish values—and certainly not, contrary to what Donin and Christiani taught, ones that Jesus taught, regardless of what one makes of him.



You Don't Mess With the Cam, Part Two

Messing with Camille's favorite toys is one matter. Trying to...if you will...dominate Camille while she is sitting on "Mom-Mom"'s lap and doing absolutely nothing to you is another matter, especially if you try to dominate her and then later get near her while she has a favorite toy. However, you're not exactly to learn this lesson if you're stubborn-headed alpha¹ Reilly.

One, then, need not try to imagine too much what happened this evening. Not that Cam is nice to Reilly when she comes near her when she has a favorite toy, anyway, by the way. Nonetheless, Cam was understandably mad after Reilly had already tried to jealously dominate her, and she was not going to let Reilly even get near her toy even if she was just in the vicinity of it and had no plans to steal it.


¹ "Alphess" (which it apparently is)? "Alphemale"? "Alfemale"? 

Thursday, November 16, 2017

When "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" Saw A Twitter Video, She Had The Following Reaction






The one's like Reilly and Camille, though especially Reilly: Reilly will try to steal Camille's treats, licks her bowl when she's emptied it, and (nonetheless like her) chokes when she gets excited over food!

(Incidentally, on a figurative level: Reilly wanted to eat up "Mom-Mom"'s affection; so, she literally bit "Auntie Michelle" and tried to bite Camille just a few minutes ago!)

Does Erick Erickson Have Something To Hide? Where Are Jews Besides Myself Calling Out Haredim, Meanwhile?

A certain Erick Erickson is defending "The Pence Rule", and people are understandably mad:




Of course, people who victim blame like that usually have something to hide, which I made very clear:


Meanwhile, many others were more generous and the point that Cheri Jacobus made:






Despite this, as far as I know, I was the only one whom brought up the Haredim:



To see no other Jew bring up the Haredim is disturbing, especially since sexual abuse is replete and prevalent within the Haredi community. As, for example, the 2⅓-year anniversary of the death of Faigy Mayer is coming up, have we learned nothing? After all, at least some Haredim could even be charged with second- or third-degree murder for Faigy Mayer's suicide, not to mention her sister Sara's subsequent one which will have occurred two years ago on this coming November 22nd (and I have said that any sexual abuser that affects any of his or her victims to commit suicide ought to be charged with first-degree murder).

Had the Haredim not abused Faigy and Sara, let alone other women, for decades, both women might still be alive. In fact, Faigy Mayer wrote the following in what could retrospectively be considered her suicide note (and given multiple accounts of what Haredi children have endured over the years, you can imagine what Faigy and Sarah endured given that Faigy wrote this about what grown women have endured):

"The austere lifestyle my people face of arranged marriages, strict segregation of the genders, the wife shaving her head, the couple having sex with the wife wearing a bra in the complete dark (hole in the sheet, anyone?) but still producing 13 children generally throughout her lifetime..."

By the way, don't be fooled about the head shaving: contrary to the bubbe meise that women would shave their heads a day before their respective weddings to avoid rape by soldiers in the European armies, the head shaving was a mechanism that the Haredi men instituted to control and humiliate women, and put them at the mercy of their husbands whom could dehumanizingly treat them if they wished to do so.


"'[Her suicide] was a family mental-health and abuse issue on top of being forced into marriage with her first cousin,' the source said, recalling how the union was annulled just months later.

"'Ever since [her marriage], she has been in and out of mental hospitals,' the source explained. 'She had been coerced by her mother’s side of the family’’ to marry her cousin. 'She married the son of the mother’s sister.'

"Growing up, some relatives 'kept calling her retarded, ugly, etc. We didn’t know this until later,' the source said."

Notice, too, that her father did absolutely nothing to stop it—and keep in mind that Haredi women are at the mercies of their fathers until they go into their husband's household—and to make this all the worse, the anniversaries of the deaths of Faigy and Sara come on the heels of the so-called "Coalition of Jewish Values" being founded by Haredi supporters of ****** *****.

In conclusion, then, one has to wonder what Erick Erickson is hiding in light of the kind of victim blaming that he did and that is no different from what either Haredim or Islamists do, and therefore not only the following example of comparisons of Erick Erickson's victim blaming to Islamist victim blaming applies—and as I said, many people brought up this point without bringing up the Haredim:




PS If one really thinks about sexual abuse as a crime, they also have to think of it as a gender-based hate crime when it occurs against women—after all, sexual abuse against women and girls is usually committed by men (e.g., Roy Moore) and boys (e.g., the Higdon in "Higdon v. State") whom think that they can objectify women and girls. 






Wednesday, November 15, 2017

You Don't Mess With the Cam

"Mimi" just learned a lesson the hard way: you do not mess with Camille when she has a favorite toy. If you do, you might have her growl at you. In fact, you don't even try to kiss her on top of the head, let alone pick her up to hold her and show her affection.

After "Mimi" tricked Camille by pretending to throw a favorite toy, Camille "got mad" and growled at "Mimi" for doing exactly that—that is, she did not let her come between her and her toy.

Meanwhile, "Auntie Nicole" just received confirmation that even "Mimi" does not come between Camille and her favorite toys.

Monday, November 13, 2017

Keurig, Sean Hannity, Roy Moore, And A Disturbing New (Still-Not-Normal) "Normal"?

While abuse continues to remain not normal, no question that we're in the End Times exists—at least for the Jewish Christians like me or the gentile Christians:

"Alas! For that day is great, So that none is like it; And it is the time of Jacob’s trouble, But he shall be saved out of it."

"And then many will be offended, will betray one another, and will hate one another. Then many false prophets will rise up and deceive many. And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold."

"For then there will be great tribulation, such as has not been since the beginning of the world until this time, no, nor ever shall be. And unless those days were shortened, no flesh would be saved; but for the elect’s sake those days will be shortened."

"'These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will vomit you out of My mouth."[']"
[This is the reference that I tweeted re Kurt Eichenwald's tweet, by the way. Emphasis mine; and plenty of Roy Moore supporters will be vomited right out.]

With, for example, people violently breaking their Keurig machines, calling for Keurig boycotts, etc., when Sean Hannity himself gave Roy Moore the benefit of the doubt in his own interview with him is disturbing, as is Roy Moore's Powellesque and Whitesque language in "Higdon v. State":

"Because there was no evidence in this case of an implied threat of serious physical injury under this definition, or of an implied threat of death, Higdon cannot be convicted of sodomy in the first degree “by forcible compulsion.” This Court has previously taken the position that an implied threat under § 13A–6–60(8) may be inferred in cases “concerning the sexual assault of children by adults with whom the children are in a relationship of trust.” See Powe v. State, 597 So.2d 721, 728 (Ala.1991)(emphasis added)"

By the way, plenty Roy Moore supporters—as far as I can tell—will also be finding millstones around their necks and themselves catapulted right into the Lake of Fire by Jesus Himself. After all, even Ms. Corfman has racked up misdemeanor charges because of Roy Moore and other abusers, including pastors:

"“Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!
"“Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

(PS When I read this and think about the Roy Moore supporters facing Jesus, I can imagine them facing one angry God!) 

"Under Pressure"...Literally!



Play the official live version of "Under Pressure" while "Mimi" is eating a sandwich, have Camille take it literally!

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Friday, November 10, 2017

Veterans Day 2017 Card From Reilly And Camille

PS Combat and service animals count as veterans as much as people (including military spouses) do.

Somewhat Offbeat: "Auntie Michelle" Swears That "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole"'s "Mean" When She States That...

Reilly and Camille are going to kill her someday if their inappropriate barking causes her to fall due to myoclonus flareups that are their faults and/or loss of focus when—for example—she's on the steps and may trip.

On an incidental note: the Veterans' Day card, God willing, should be made by tonight or tomorrow.

Thursday, November 9, 2017

WhereIn Blankets Are Concerned...

When Camille Seemed To Sympathize With "Auntie Nicole" During An Argument With Somebody

Without going into details, "Auntie Nicole" will say that she was surprised by both Reilly's patience overall (as it has been for quite a while now) and Camille's seeming to sympathize with her after the argument (unless she just wanted to say "Night nights" and lick the albe-applied-for-hours concealer on her forehead wrinkles.

(Incidentally, especially "Momma" just seems to be getting and looking older—especially as she worries more for her and Reilly's sakes).

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Dealing With Sheer Libel And Slander As An Author And As A Person Overall

I've decided that I'm going to be more proactive in regards to libel and slander against myself and—when to do so is necessary—libel and slander against others. I have had being libelled and slandered over the years, and I have even confronted paternal and maternal family members over it. In fact, in my new book, I wrote the following about both lies that my maternal grandfather's mother told and a long-standing issue because of relatives whom are libelling and slandering me over it:

"Meanwhile, this alone (as I’m now realizing) helps to explain why I thoroughly and even defensively  explain quite a bit of what I explain—as if getting called “an overall liar” at Sheppard Pratt by a caseworker whom fell for my father’s lies about me wasn’t enough, having Nana Allen throw her younger children and their descendants for a loop really affected me to start laying out every detail of quite a few cases once I found out about being thrown for such a loop—and as if many of my matriarchs and patriarchs on Dad’s side didn’t do enough loop throwing, todah rabah (and their loop throwing was more understandable than her loop throwing, as—as I later read—the Inquisition ended in 1834, whereas increasing Anti Semitism still affects many of my paternal relatives loathe to admit that we’re Jewish—even to the point at which one relative is trying to paint me as an overall liar in regard to what my father’s maternal grandmother did, and notwithstanding that I can neither help what happened or conjure up evidence to fit the narrative of what he wants to believe what happened."

Here's my advice to anyone whom would be tempted to libel and slander others in the future:


  1. Remember that even in the era of *****, verbal abuse such as libel and slander is never normal—and that includes what that Mila Kunis did in misrepresenting herself and using Mike Pence's name is not normal, even if the Supreme Court should rule (and there exists a very-real possibility that the SCOTUS will rule) that what Mila Kunis did is a protest that is protected by the First Amendment, despite that she committed misdemeanor-level representation at the very least (and I guarantee that any case against Mila Kunis will be appealed up to the Supreme Court).
  2. As I've said, keep in mind I may well sue in certain cases in which I'm libelled and slandered, and I may even press charges of criminal libel and slander against those whom are libelling and slandering me—especially since some of the libel and slander that I've had directed against me has been tantamount to hate crimes and even included threats on my life.
  3. If you insist on libelling and slandering others, see how well libelling and slandering others ends up working out for you when at least one of your libel and slander victims does end up suing you and/or having you prosecuted.
  4. Remember that if you are especially trying to destroy others' livelihoods and/or reputations when you libel and slander them, you may well destroy your livelihood and/or reputation if your boss decides to fire you and you even end up not being able to find another job (By the way, Mila Kunis could well lose her career over representing herself as Mike Pence if the court of public opinion does not rule in her favor, even if the SCOTUS does.).
  5. If you are religious in any way, remember that your religion usually include libel- and slander-prohibiting commandments such as "Do not bear false witness," "Love your neighbor as yourself", and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If you work in a religious occupation—e.g., as a priest, rabbi or gabbai, or moderate imam; at a YMCA branch, Jewish Community Center, or a Muslim Community Center; or for a religiously-affiliated 501(c)(3) organization—remember that you could also lose your job due to violating one of the core tenets of your religion. 
  6. If you have children and/or others for whom you have to set a good example, remember that libelling and slandering others is not setting a good example.
  7. Remember that when each of us dies, he or she will leave a legacy in which he or she probably does not want to include a reputation for having libelled and slandered others.
As for me, while I'm not perfect and without instances of having libelled and slandered others in the past, I have worked hard throughout my entire life to be circumspect in avoiding libelling and slandering others. 


My Next Book Is Being Published. Why I Made The Prices High This Time, By The Way

As I stated in the most-recent excerpt of the book, "[a]fter all, just typing all of this after a partly-mental-illness-affected hiatus from writing has affected my mental illnesses to flare up." For me, having Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses (not to mention IBS) makes writing incredibly hard especially when I'm often drained of energy. Exacerbating the difficulty that I have in writing books is that I type with only one finger at a time, I can't format pictures and adjust screenshots as quickly as those without Cerebral Palsy or similar conditions can (at least physically—for those of them that have mental illnesses and/or other conditions, their difficulties in typing, formatting pictures and adjusting screenshots, etc. can be just as significant as mine).

Thus, I think that the labor that I put into writing this book justifies the $9.99 Kindle-editon price and the $18 paperback-edition price for which I am selling the book. By the way, my arms and legs are feeling tired as I'm typing; and my OCD/Anxiety, etc. is flaring up along with my muscles feeling tired.

Also by the way, I'm still giving away a copy of my first bookespecially since its main subject has been incredibly patient with me throughout all of this, including a difficult time that I'm enduring for both my sake and for my first book's main subject's sake.

Update (7:03 PM EST): The new book is published.


Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: “Dark Irish”, Allen, and “Polio”—Three Bubbe Meises That Nana Allen Told To the Younger Kids (With My Maternal Grandfather Being One Of Them)

I seem to have more of a contempt for my late maternal grandfather’s mother the more that I understand about her, at least wherein her bubbe meises are concerned. The three bubbe meises that really (forgive my language) piss me off (as if “shit” wasn’t language for which I might need to ask forgiveness):

1.    That we’re of the “Dark Irish”
2.    [Not excerpted here]
3.    That my grandaunt Kas had polio

The real stories are the following, respectively:

The “Dark Irish”


We’re Portuguese Irish, and likely even Sephardic Jewish and Irish. Nana Allen’s maternal grandfather was a “John McCoy”, and probably an Anusi—and “McCoy” was certainly not his own name, as he is not buried in the McCoy Family Plot in Baltimore’s New Cathedral Cemetery. As for how he immigrated to Ireland, my grandaunt Bernadette “Bern” Allen Dew (z”l) stated that “He fled a war in Spain”—which I found out after I saw the Census record that read “Spain” and “Ireland” for the respective birthplaces of Nana Allen’s maternal grandparents, the parents of the Rosalita “Rose” (or “Rosa”) McCoy Reilly whose 1900 Census record lists the “Spain” and “Ireland” in question for her parents’ birthplaces. As for the “war in Spain”—as “John McCoy”’s 1850 Census record helped me to research—that war was the Peninsular War, from which he as a Lisboa-born infant fled with his parents to Ireland.

About three decades after he immigrated to Ireland as a war refugee—and almost certainly an Anusi one at that—he immigrated to the United States as—as far as I know—an immigrant. By 1850, he had been married to MaryAnn Elizabeth née McCoy for at least eight to ten years and had the following children:
1.    John, Jr.
2.    MaryAnn Elizabeth, Jr. (whom, per a record of her second husband’s family history, told the bubbe meise that her mother was born “Mary Dolan”)
3.    Ann

He seems to have named the first two children per minhag Sephardi—after all, the first son was named for his father, and the first daughter was named for her mother (and apparently got a flair for spreading bubbe meises from—ironically—her, as the 1880 Census Record for a “Rose Riley” lists both of Mrs. “Riley”’s parents as having been in Ireland—and even while the 1880 Census record for MaryAnn’s and Rose’s sister Lavinia lists them as having been born in Maryland.)

Then he had four more children, and a nasty divorce to boot about six years after the youngest one was born. While I don’t know the exact circumstances of the divorce, I know—as I said—that he is certainly not buried in the McCoy Family Plot in New Cathedral Cemetery, and that his wife told the Census taker that she was a widowed mother of four daughters as of 1870.

By 1880, he had a grandchild whom proved that his Sephardish Yidishkeit was still around and alive within the family, even though he apparently hadn’t been around or alive since 1870—his daughter Rosalita had a daughter whom she named “Ann(e)”, and his ex-wife and his daughter’s in-law mother both went by “Ann(e)”. Then he had more grandchildren by Rosalita with a mark to prove that no real Catholicism was to be found as far as he was concerned: after all, none of the granddaughters carried “Mary” or any variant thereof for either a first name or otherwise as an honorific for the mother of Jesus.

Even Alice Marie Reilly named none of her daughters “Mary” or any variant thereof insofar as the prénom d’honorifique de la Virginé is concerned—the first names of her daughters were “Marguerite” (since her in-law mother was Margaret Conley Allen—and I’m now realizing where her Sephardish Yiddishkeit showed up in that regard, if I hadn’t already realized it a little bit), “Katherine”, “Bernadette”, and “Dolores”.

 (Per JewishGen, by the way and although JewishGen covers mostly Ashkenazi Jewish communities, “Marguerite” and “Katherine”—and variants thereof—were used among Jews; and as one rabbi told me when I asked if naming Reilly for Nana Allen and her mother was permissible in Jewish tradition, “There are no rules for such a thing. You may name your pet anything you like.” Also, Ariela Pelaia of ThoughtCo—formerly About.Com—captures what I’ve generally read regarding both Hebrew and Non-Hebrew names when she states, “[T]here is no hard and fast rule when it comes to giving your child a Hebrew name.”

(Also by the way, Sephardic Jewish girls will sometimes be named after living grandparents as opposed to living parents—the minhag varies in that regard.) 

As far as Alice Marie’s sisters, they were (besides Anne—z”l—whom died at the age of seven or eight):
1.    Rosa
2.    Sara—not “Catherine”, but “Sara Catherine” (and contrary to what Mom claims, “Sara” is not a common Catholic name—or at least too common of one—as it would arouse suspicions, especially in a family in which the first girl is not named “Mary”)
3.    Helen
4.    Agnes—whom later became “Sister Mary Rosalita Reilly”

By the way, Alice Marie’s first son was Edgar Joseph, for his father and distinguished as “Edgar Joseph Eymard”—and I’m now really beginning to see the Sepharidish Yiddishkeit (or “Sefardishkeit” or even “Ladinokeit”— and I’m going to assume that I coined those despite I can’t say that I made those up—after all, “Sefardish” and “Ladino” were long around before I was, and making  “Sefardishkeit” from “Sefardish” and “Yiddishkeit” is simply just making a compound word that can be used to describe the Yiddishkeit of Sephardim in Yiddish.

(Also by the way, I’m pretty sure that this is at least part of why my maternal grandfather took an interest in Yiddish, although he was—even if he didn’t know that he was—reasonably ascertainably a matrilineally-Jewish grandson of a patrilineally-Jewish bat Anusim—and his widow, my maternal grandmother, is my maternal grandparent whom is of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage.)

Meanwhile, this alone (as I’m now realizing) helps to explain why I thoroughly and even defensively  explain quite a bit of what I explain—as if getting called “an overall liar” at Sheppard Pratt by a caseworker whom fell for my father’s lies about me wasn’t enough, having Nana Allen throw her younger children and their descendants for a loop really affected me to start laying out every detail of quite a few cases once I found out about being thrown for such a loop—and as if many of my matriarchs and patriarchs on Dad’s side didn’t do enough loop throwing, todah rabah (and their loop throwing was more understandable than her loop throwing, as—as I later read—the Inquisition ended in 1834, whereas increasing Anti Semitism still affects many of my paternal relatives loathe to admit that we’re Jewish—even to the point at which one relative is trying to paint me as an overall liar in regard to what my father’s maternal grandmother did, and notwithstanding that I can neither help what happened or conjure up evidence to fit the narrative of what he wants to believe what happened.

(Incidentally, that will—God willing—probably end up in More Shit And Other Stuff That I Can’t Make Up—after all, just typing all of this after a partly-mental-illness-affected hiatus from writing has affected my mental illnesses to flare up.)




“Polio”


This one probably pisses me off the most. Despite articles that discuss the Irish Catholic “shame” of the Kennedys regarding Rosemary Kennedy (with “shame” being the word that the Kennedys themselves used), Nana Allen—who herself identified as a strong Irish Catholic—still has no excuse for lying about Grandaunt Kas’ Cerebral Palsy.

The story still goes that Grandaunt Kas contracted polio when she was seven or eight—this despite that she wasn’t going to have time to contract polio in the midst of the Spanish Flu Epidemic of 1918 and the Rheumatic Heart Fever Epidemic of 1923-1925 or thereabouts. Rheumatic Heart Fever is what actually killed Grandaunt Dolores, whom died on January 25, 1923, by the way (and as for where I got the 1925 date, Great-Granddad Czarnecki’s sister Regina died of Chorea due to Rheumatic Heart Fever on June 23, 1925).

Grandaunt Kas was born on November 6, 1911, and Grandaunt Bern somehow remembered that Grandaunt Dolores died in the Spanish Flu Epidemic. Either way, no way was Grandaunt Kas going to be going anywhere where she could contract polio—she was probably as housebound when the Spanish Flu hit the Allen household as much as all of the Allen children were when Rheumatic Heart Fever hit the Allen household. The more that I thought about that, then, the more that I had to conclude that Nana Allen told another bubbe meise—even my grandmother at first said that she didn’t know for sure, and that Nana Allen had “a lot of stories”.

Besides:

1.    Mild Cerebral Palsy can become worse after illnesses such as the flu and Rheumatic Heart Fever—and with illnesses that can cause fevers, you’re messing with illnesses that can cause some serious brain damage. So either way, Grandaunt Kas either had exacerbated Cerebral Palsy after the Spanish Flu Epidemic or she had a fever that effected brain damage and resulting Cerebral Palsy.
2.    The person whom told me that Grandaunt Kas had Cerebral Palsy, he would have no reason to lie—he worked for her when he and my mother were in high school, and she could tell a kid like him what she wouldn’t have dared to tell peers of hers or quite a few people within her own family!



That would also explain the real reason that Grandaunt Kas turned down three marriage proposals—not because she wanted to be single and independent, but because she was afraid that each of her suitors would run if they found out what she really had—and I can tell you that because I’ve lived being both implicitly and explicitly rejected by peers of mine due to my Cerebral Palsy.

Somewhat To Mostly Offbeat: As "Momma"'s Typing, An Example When "Momma" Fails Reilly Again

Reilly, meanwhile, is patient about it, despite that she earlier gave "Momma" a very-clear "I'm not happy with you" look. 10:00 something turned into 11:00 something, into midnight and after midnight, and now into 3:02 at night ("in the morning", notwithstanding "v'yesh hayah 'erev v'yesh hayah boker" being replete throughout the first chapter of Bereshit).

By the way, most of why "Momma" was up so late this time was because she was writing the next part of her upcoming book, in which she mentions Reilly—though that probably wouldn't make up to Reilly that she and Reilly are going "night nights" late once again! 

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Closing Thought For The Night Of Cheshvan 17, 5777 (November 6-7, 2017)

Once again, part of why I'm a Republican: real Republicans, unlike RINO *****, don't set up people with mental illnesses to be demonized. ***** set up people with mental illnesses to be demonized by using this man whom may have even used his mental illnesses as an excuse, or at least has people whom are using them as an excuse for him (since he doesn't even seem to acknowledge that he had them, let alone needed medication for them).

Congratulations, Democrats (including RINOs) and Clinton Dreaders: you've either been had by RINO ***** or are known as being complicit with him.

Mind you that this isn't to all Democrats and Clinton Dreaders: this is to just the ones whom've either been had by RINO ***** or are known as being complicit with him. There are many reasonable Democrats and Clinton Dreaders whom can wake up and either start or restart fearing God over dreading Clinton.

Monday, November 6, 2017

Mostly Offbeat: Since Reilly's Reacting To The Family Friend Whom She Knows As "The Tall Guy" Well...

"Momma" has hope that, God willing, Reilly will react just as well and perhaps even better when (God willing) she meets whomever is supposed to be "Momma"'s helpmate (especially if he is whom "Momma" thinks, or at least hopes, that he is)—after all, Reilly as a "dogter" has to love and be loved by whomever (God wills to be) her "Daddy", right?

By the way, here's a better version of the video from when "the tall guy" came over:




Friday, November 3, 2017

#FluffyFriday, And What Ended Up Being A Late #ThrowbackThursday Post: Reilly Chilling With "Auntie Michelle"

















Reilly loves getting belly rubs, kisses, and (sometimes) hugs from "Auntie Michelle" (and everyone else!).

Thursday, November 2, 2017

A Myoclonus Flareup That Was Actually Not Reilly's Or Camille's Fault, Although It Put Everyone At Risk

Even though they did bark and cause myoclonus flareups at some points today, Reilly and Camille did not cause the recent most-myoclonus flareup that "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" had (The noise of a spatula that ended up sliding off of the edge of a grill pan did and onto a ceramic stovetop did, surprising her.). Nonetheless, it put them and her at risk—since the coffee that she spilled is dangerous for puppies in general, let alone Reilly and Camille—and "Momma" had to tell Reilly to keep away from the coffee, since Reilly wanted to lick it up (She told her something like, "No-o! Stay away from there!" She definitely remembers the "No-o!").

If anything ever happened to Reilly and/or Camille, "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" would probably be dead due to being unable to deal with what happened to one or both of them—if one or both of them didn't cause her to break her head by falling due to barking or leash pulling first.

By the way, even Camille misbehaved today—besides with the barking.

Reilly Was Not On Her Best Behavior Yesterday—Is "Momma" Partly To Blame?

The confusion and other stuff that "Momma" has endured of late has not made "Momma" a better "Momma" to Reilly, let alone the best "Momma" to Reilly. Reilly was perhaps, then, a little sleepy and thus not on her best behavior—and either way, she was not on his best behavior. For example:


  1. She defied "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" as they were coming back from their evening walk by barking and brazenly continuing to bark at (as "Momma" found out shortly afterward) a puppy whom apparently is a stranger as opposed to a puppy that she knows well enough or one of her friends.
  2. She then proceeded to defy "Mom-Mom" by getting up to the window and barking, and then going back up to the window and barking after "Mom-Mom" told her to "Get down!" from the window—she also looked quite proud of herself after she got into trouble!
  3. Later, she tried to bite and bit "Auntie Michelle" when "Auntie Michelle" would stop giving her belly rubs and would give affection to her own "dogter". She also acted jealously toward Camille multiple times.
Meanwhile, "Momma bets", Reilly will probably—for instance—try to give "Momma" persistent "night nights" kisses and lick her side of the pillow, even after "Momma" says, "It's night-nights time" and "Put your head on the pillow" (as opposed to partially under the bed cover or not all the way—or not at all—on the pillow—despite that "Momma" has even explained that she doesn't want Reilly to block her nose and not be able to breathe).


 (By the way, "Momma" has tried to keep up her writing—which she does for, among other reasons, trying to provide for Reilly as much as possible for her own part—despite that she's enduring a mental-illness flareup—including that of OCD/Anxiety comorbid with Depression.).

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: What Knowing Would've Helped: e.g., My Father Passed His Mental Illnesses Down To Me

April 2006, Spring Break, a threat of suicide, and thus a whole week in April of 2006 and a whole Spring Break spent in Sheppard Pratt...and this after I reached my breaking point with my father's abusiveness. Not to mention that learning about the Holocaust 4.5 years earlier, right after 9/11, actually partly effected the onset of my OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD—and that I would eventually figure out that that's why he had all of those pill bottles in his apartment, and that other matters would be explained by my father's OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD.

So went my life with the fallout of 9/11, the times shortly before it, and the times shortly after it. At least my father's admitted to having ADD since then, but the Depression and OCD/Anxiety are still—albe an open secret to me and others—a secret. Of course, knowing about my father's Depression and OCD/Anxiety would've helped before I had to end up in Sheppard Pratt, let alone after I ended up in it. The worst part is that my mother knew about it and didn't tell me even about the day that she ended up discovering that he took Wellbutrin®, the generic of which I currently take (at least when I have the energy and time to be at consistent with my medication as possible) and any given form of which I have no idea in regards to whether my father still takes it.

Speaking of medication, my father's paternal grandfather—whom took medication for his own Depression—did not have medication work for him, and he subsequently took his own life as a result of ultimately-medication-resistant Depression. That, too, would've helped to know, especially when the bubbe meise about him dying of Black Lung was pulled together from three facts that were quite the opposite of the facts of his too-late-to-abort suicide attempt:


  1. An Anthony Czarnecki was born in October 1908 and died in 1972—and my father claimed that his grandfather died when he was 12. That Anthony Czarnecki died in a fire in Philadelphia, in contrast to the Anthony Czarnecki whom was actually born in October 1904 and jumped off of Exeter's long-since torn-down Falls River Bridge in December 1964.
  2. He did have Black Lung as a result of being a miner and did actually immigrate from Poland. However, he as a pogrom survivor came over here with his parents, and his brothers Bernard "Bernie" (whom was subsequently exploited by my great-granduncles John and Joe), Joseph "Susi" (whom my granduncle Tony, z"l, understandably described as an "SOB"), and Edward "Ed" Czarnecki (whom subsequently served at Fort Knox when my grandfather served down there in the days of mandatory service) served in World War Two. In other words, the bubbe meise about a lone immigrant from Poland whom became a miner, served in Korea, and died of Black Lung obscured a darker story and helped my try to father steal valor from Great-Granduncles Bernie (whom died in 1963) and Ed (whom served stateside during Vietnam and prior to the draft, and probably Korea). Thus, not ever occurring to me was that a child survivor of the pogroms and an Anusi felt the ultimately-fatal weight of his being an Anusi and other matters in his life (including his brother Bernie's death from a Schizophrenia-caused coronary occlusion after years of suffering either a botched shrapnel-removal operation or a lobotomy, and his brother Susi's exploitation of a fellow veteran—and one whose botched shrapnel-removal operation or a lobotomy left him a child-like and easily-exploitable state for the rest of his 43 years.)
  3. If Anthony Czarnecki wasn't the grandfather whom apparently died when my father was 12, then it would've been his grandfather Michael Gaydos. After all, a Michael Gaydos whom was born in 1891 did die in 1972. Of course, it wasn't the 1904-born Anthony Czarnecki whom died in 1972, and it wasn't actually Michael Gaydos, either—Great-Granddad Gaydos died of a heart attack when my father was 15.
Only a copy of Great-Granddad Czarnecki's death certificate that a maternal cousin of my father sent me cleared up that matter for me—and my father's excuses that I was too young to know before did not help my father, either, as he just added insult (his excuse) to injury (his bubbe meise). My mother's excuse that it was up to him and not her to tell me also didn't help, as she once again went along with my father's secrecy.

By the way, Depression also killed my paternal grandmother's granduncles Frank, Sr. Fosko and Andrȧs "Alexander" Foczko, as well as—despite the denials of some of my family in spite of the statistical evidence—her grandfather Istvȧn Foczko—whom died young and had seven children, with six of them being sons, and with 2/7 of his children and of his sons taking their own lives.

As for five of her maternal aunts and uncles, they had Alzheimer's and other forms of Dementia—and Alzheimer's and Dementia are linked to Depression.

Do the math, and you will figure out why knowing that I inherited Depression (as well as comorbid OCD/Anxiety and ADD that only exacerbate the Depression) from my father would've helped long before I was in Sheppard Pratt and long after I was in Sheppard Pratt, and long after I maybe wouldn't have been in Sheppard Pratt had I known about that the mental illnesses that I have and set on as a result of my father's abuse, the fallout of 9/11, and other factors came from that same father whom abused me partly by hiding that he has those mental illnesses. 

Halloween Card From Reilly and Camille


PS Reilly had her leash on partly to get ready for her walk, and Camille even refused to cooperate with "Mimi" at first.

The Halloween Card Will Have To Come Later Tonight, After "Mimi" Holds Camille For Separate Pictures

As "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" predicted, Reilly and Camille were going to hate getting dressed up. Reilly did not fully cooperate with "Momma" the first time, as she followed Camille's bad example of jumping off of the couch once "Auntie Nicole" got Camille's costume on her and got Camille on the couch. She did, however, reluctantly cooperate the second time and get treats as a result.

As for Camille, as "Auntie Nicole" stated, "Mimi" will have to help "Auntie Nicole" get separate pictures of Camille. There goes "Auntie Nicole"'s original theme idea for the card, by the way 🙄

Reilly's And Camille's Costumes....

Let's just say that they're not exactly pup-proved.

(You thought that "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" would reveal what the Halloween costumes are, didn't you? Not without making a Halloween card! Trick for treat, and the treat will be a Halloween card with Reilly and Camille in their costumes!

(Anyway...)


  1. Reilly and Camille hate dressing up in general.
  2. "Mimi"/"Auntie Michelle" (despite that she thinks that the costumes are cute) certainly did not help "Auntie Nicole/"Momma" get Camille and Reilly to get their costumes on them as much as she could have helped her.
  3. The costume for Reilly was bigger than expected, despite that it's size adjustable.
  4. Probably due in part to flaring-up-of-late OCD/Anxiety, "Momma" likely left the costume a little too loose since she doesn't want to choke Reilly
PS "Trick for treat" definitely encompasses Reilly's allowing "Momma" to put on the costume in exchange for getting a treat. 

Friday, October 27, 2017

The Air Force, A Loving Reilly, And Veteran's Day (Plus An Upcoming Belated National Pumpkin Day Card)

"Momma" is proud that:
  1. The head of the Air Force Academy, Lt. Gen. Jay Silveria, condemns bigotry
  2. Reilly refused to nosebutt her when she, in light of Lt. Gen. Silveria's admonition to the Air Force, asked her whether she hated anybody just because of what they look like, their beliefs, etc.. At one point, though, Reilly nosebutted "Momma" because she assumed that "Momma" wanted her to nosebutt when she mistook a refusal to nosebutt as an affirmative answer and asked the question again ("Momma" culpa!)


Apparently, though, Reilly loves "Momma" (She gave "Momma" kisses.) and hates everybody else (including "Momma—or at least she was tired of "Momma" bothering her with questions!).

As Veteran's Day approaches, meanwhile, "Momma" and Reilly thank the Air Force and other veterans (including active-duty ones. Once a person in the United States Armed Forces, always a veteran—except for the ones like treasonous Bowe Bergdahl and very-much-self-exaggerating John Garofalo.)

(By the way, Reilly—while she may love everybody—doesn't like everybody, and she would certainly dislike those like Bowe Bergdahl on a daily basis as much as she dislikes "Momma" on some days!)

PS Reilly did get her earned pumpkin for both being patient with "Momma" over the past few weeks and National Pumpkin Day,  and she will (God willing) be in a belated National Pumpkin Day card. 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

A Sample Of Livestreams Of Reilly (The Star) and "Momma" (Only Because Reilly Needs Somebody's Lap On Which To Sit)

Reilly does not like to look at the camera even to say "Hi" to friends:



Incidentally, "Momma" did allude to part of why Reilly didn't want to look at the camera, which is that Reilly was sleepy partly due to "Momma".

Mostly Offbeat: The Sooner That "Momma" Finds Out What A Certain Person Wants, The Better For Herself And Reilly

Not knowing has kept "Momma"—and as a result, Reillyway past midnight of late, even causing "Momma" to have OCD/Anxiety flareups while sewing Reilly's toy "Hippo". Even an answer such as "Your guess as to who your future helpmate and Reilly's future 'Daddy' is, is plainly incorrect" would immensely help "Momma" and Reilly.


By the way, this picture was taken at 2:07 AM on July 15th. The other one was actually taken on July 12, 2017 at 11:41 PM. Still, it goes to show that this is a frequent occurrence (Here, Reilly is snuggling with a toy wishbone.)

Two Gregorian Month Anniversaries For Reilly This Week

Reilly came home three years and five months ago, when she just a day shy of two months old (though she was eight weeks and four days old, meaning than old enough to come home):





Happy Month Homecoming Anniversary, and Happy Month Birthday, Reilly!

PS The picture above was taken at 3:40 AM on July 13, 2017—which goes to show one how patiently Reilly waits when "Momma"'s mental-illness flareups and other matters cause her to stay up late into even a Wednesday-into-Thursday-night!

("Momma" wanted to find a newer picture of Reilly snuggling her toy "Hippo", though, since she couldn't find one last night. By the way, Reilly actually came to her home away from home—"Momma" and Reilly are still hoping to make aliyah.)


Tuesday, October 24, 2017

Somewhat Offbeat: When Sewing Up A Toy Made "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" Tire Out Her Legs, Still Waiting For a Certain Someone, &c..

"Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" was not going to let Reilly and Camille get the sock inside almost-chewed-through-to-an-easily-accessible-sock "Hippo" (whom Reilly received as an anxiety abater). So, she sewed up "Hippo" in his velcro area (By the way, yes, Reilly and Camille have toys that are named and gendered.).

As she was sewing up "Hippo", her OCD/Anxiety flared up as she dreaded dropping the needle, not sewing and tying up the thread well enough, etc. (At least she figured out how to double thread, though that caused anxiety since that wasn't originally planned and the thread getting tangled up scared her. After all, e.g., not having enough thread and worrying about Reilly and Camille getting thread or the needle scared her.).

Add "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole"'s Cerebral Palsy to the mix and understand why her OCD/Anxiety flareup caused her legs to tire out, especially since the Cerebral Palsy and OCD/Anxiety flareup added to what she's endured lately. Also add Reilly's daily inappropriate barking, which caused myoclonus flareups (and by the way, the demonstration for "Auntie Michelle" regarding rolling over Reilly was an anomaly—"Momma" was surprised that even "Can I roll you over for a belly rub?" eventually elicited Reilly's cooperation.).

Of course, this all reminded "Momma" about part of why her OCD/Anxiety is flaring up—not to mention that it partly affected her to horrendously bite her lip last night and leave what she dreads may be a disfiguring scar (as if the idea of the negative of DBS that involves having some hair shaved off isn't enough of a consideration in terms of what might stigmatize "Momma". Not that she's had that the DBS Surgery, at least yet, by the way; she's just saying.). Meanwhile, "Momma" ("Auntie Nicole" to Camille) had to make sure that Reilly (and Camille) didn't get the honey and the olive oil that she applied to her lips.

So has been a part of life for "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" of late, which hasn't exactly affected her to be a better "Momma" to Reilly or a better "aunt" to Camille.


Senators Bob Corker and Jeff Flake Said It, Too: Abuse Is Never Normal

Abuse is never normal or normalizable in even this age of *****, and Senators Bob Corker and Jeff Flake have finally stood up and called out *****:





One could even call what Senators Corker and Flake are doing their political "Me too" moments, and—by the way—don't think that there isn't sexual abuse going on at the hands of ***** and *****ites in Washington. I would not even be surprised if, for example, those like Senators Corker and Flake have faced hearing lewd comments about their marital and familial lives—after all, unfortunately, I have had lewd comments directed at me by some people whom have disagreed with me on certain issues; and I know that ***** (whom has had no compunction about targeting his own female family members) and *****ites are the kind of people whom would go as far as targeting others' female family members (e.g., wives and daughters) as a way to try to harass the others—both men and women—in question.

Everybody else, meanwhile, should also state "Me too" and stand up to ***** and other abusive people.


Monday, October 23, 2017

Abuse Is Never "Normal Stuff", Even In the ***** Era

"I'm beginning to think you...crucified your father for normal stuff!"

Without going into details about what affected that statement for whatever reason, I will say that I was appalled when someone said that to me—abuse is never "normal stuff", and all kinds of abuse are out of the norm—at least in a reasonable and decent society, abuse is (relatively, anyway) out of the norm.

No society in this world is going to be entirely reasonable and decent. After all, as Thomas Hobbes observed, life is short, nasty, and brutish; and "kings and persons of sovereign authority, because of their independency, are in continual jealousies and in the state and posture of gladiators, having their weapons pointing, and their eyes fixed on one another, that is, their forts, garrisons, and guns, upon the frontiers of their kingdoms, and continual spies upon their neighbours: which is a posture of war. "

That nonetheless does not cause any kind of abuse to be "normal stuff", regardless of whether it's the kind of abuse that I endured from my father (which at least, thank God, was never sexual abuse) or the following examples of abuses that others have endured:


  1. The "casting couch"—Harvey Weinstein's and others' victims did not want (let alone ask) to be sexually harassed and abused; and they shouldn't have to choose between careers and being abused, between silence to avoid further abuse and between speaking out and enduring further abuse, or between anything else and abuse. Having to choose between anything and abuse, by the way, is being put in an abusive position.
  2. The "condolence" call that Myeisha Johnson received. What ***** stated was basically, "Your husband knew why he signed up, and we can never repay him or any other American military member whom sacrifices his or her life for the United States; so I'm not even going to try to repay what I can."
  3. The follow up to the "condolence" call. Especially Myeisha Johnson did not need libel and slander against her; and Representative Frederica Wilson did not need the libel and slander, either.
  4. The threats of racist and sexist violence against Congresswoman Wilson—as I said, abuse is neither normal nor in the norm in a reasonable and decent society, which is not the kind of society which Congresswoman Wilson's abuser would like to bring back.
In conclusion, then, only abusive societies have ever treated, ever treat, and will ever treat abuse as normal and normalizable.