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Showing posts with label mental illnesses. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mental illnesses. Show all posts

Friday, December 8, 2017

Somewhat To Mostly Offbeat: "Momma" As An Example Of Single Pet Parenting Further Complicated For Pet Parents With Disabilities

"Momma" has previously discussed how "Auntie Michelle" and "Mom-Mom" make her being a "Momma" without a "Daddy" for Reilly harder for her because she has disabilities, and they know as well as she knows that they wouldn't do half of what they do if she didn't have Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses. In the meantime, plenty of recent examples as to how they complicate her "Momma"hood have come up. In fact, one that came up just tonight is as follows thanks to "Auntie Michelle", and is reminiscent of one that is courtesy of "Mom-Mom":

"Auntie Michelle" wanted to try to get the pimple off of Reilly's back, which reminded "Momma" of when "Mom-Mom" didn't tell her what that piece of excess cartilage on Reilly's nose actually was before the groomer unplugged it. "Momma" blames "Auntie Michelle" in this case as much as she blames "Mom-Mom" in the last case, though she would not have minded having the blackhead unplugged had she known what "Mom-Mom" found out—and "Momma" was a little worried with the blood on Reilly's nose at first, although she trusts the groomer (whom, as she found out, is a former vet tech) and the vet (whom told "Mom-Mom" that it was "extra cartilage"). This time, she specifically asked the person in question—"Auntie Michelle"to not try to get rid of the pimple since she was keeping an eye on it and planning to talk to "Mom-Mom" about it, and the person in question nonetheless proceeded to clean out what she thought might be any blackhead-related blackness out of the pimple area.

"Auntie Michelle" and "Mom-Mom" know that, that would not be happening were "Momma" able to drive and otherwise live unimpeded by disabilities (including debilitating mental illnesses). After all, "Momma" would be able to take Reilly to the groomer and the vet herself, and she'd be able to pay them herself. She'd also be able to run over quickly and stop "Auntie Michelle" right then and there from trying to clean pimples or anything else on Reilly without her permission. 

As "Momma"'s case demonstrates, though, even some families of single pet parents with disabilities consider the pet parents with disabilities as lesser pet parents at some level, even second-class pet parents and overall people at best—whether they mean to or don't mean to think of them that way.




Wednesday, November 8, 2017

My Next Book Is Being Published. Why I Made The Prices High This Time, By The Way

As I stated in the most-recent excerpt of the book, "[a]fter all, just typing all of this after a partly-mental-illness-affected hiatus from writing has affected my mental illnesses to flare up." For me, having Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses (not to mention IBS) makes writing incredibly hard especially when I'm often drained of energy. Exacerbating the difficulty that I have in writing books is that I type with only one finger at a time, I can't format pictures and adjust screenshots as quickly as those without Cerebral Palsy or similar conditions can (at least physically—for those of them that have mental illnesses and/or other conditions, their difficulties in typing, formatting pictures and adjusting screenshots, etc. can be just as significant as mine).

Thus, I think that the labor that I put into writing this book justifies the $9.99 Kindle-editon price and the $18 paperback-edition price for which I am selling the book. By the way, my arms and legs are feeling tired as I'm typing; and my OCD/Anxiety, etc. is flaring up along with my muscles feeling tired.

Also by the way, I'm still giving away a copy of my first bookespecially since its main subject has been incredibly patient with me throughout all of this, including a difficult time that I'm enduring for both my sake and for my first book's main subject's sake.

Update (7:03 PM EST): The new book is published.


Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: “Dark Irish”, Allen, and “Polio”—Three Bubbe Meises That Nana Allen Told To the Younger Kids (With My Maternal Grandfather Being One Of Them)

I seem to have more of a contempt for my late maternal grandfather’s mother the more that I understand about her, at least wherein her bubbe meises are concerned. The three bubbe meises that really (forgive my language) piss me off (as if “shit” wasn’t language for which I might need to ask forgiveness):

1.    That we’re of the “Dark Irish”
2.    [Not excerpted here]
3.    That my grandaunt Kas had polio

The real stories are the following, respectively:

The “Dark Irish”


We’re Portuguese Irish, and likely even Sephardic Jewish and Irish. Nana Allen’s maternal grandfather was a “John McCoy”, and probably an Anusi—and “McCoy” was certainly not his own name, as he is not buried in the McCoy Family Plot in Baltimore’s New Cathedral Cemetery. As for how he immigrated to Ireland, my grandaunt Bernadette “Bern” Allen Dew (z”l) stated that “He fled a war in Spain”—which I found out after I saw the Census record that read “Spain” and “Ireland” for the respective birthplaces of Nana Allen’s maternal grandparents, the parents of the Rosalita “Rose” (or “Rosa”) McCoy Reilly whose 1900 Census record lists the “Spain” and “Ireland” in question for her parents’ birthplaces. As for the “war in Spain”—as “John McCoy”’s 1850 Census record helped me to research—that war was the Peninsular War, from which he as a Lisboa-born infant fled with his parents to Ireland.

About three decades after he immigrated to Ireland as a war refugee—and almost certainly an Anusi one at that—he immigrated to the United States as—as far as I know—an immigrant. By 1850, he had been married to MaryAnn Elizabeth née McCoy for at least eight to ten years and had the following children:
1.    John, Jr.
2.    MaryAnn Elizabeth, Jr. (whom, per a record of her second husband’s family history, told the bubbe meise that her mother was born “Mary Dolan”)
3.    Ann

He seems to have named the first two children per minhag Sephardi—after all, the first son was named for his father, and the first daughter was named for her mother (and apparently got a flair for spreading bubbe meises from—ironically—her, as the 1880 Census Record for a “Rose Riley” lists both of Mrs. “Riley”’s parents as having been in Ireland—and even while the 1880 Census record for MaryAnn’s and Rose’s sister Lavinia lists them as having been born in Maryland.)

Then he had four more children, and a nasty divorce to boot about six years after the youngest one was born. While I don’t know the exact circumstances of the divorce, I know—as I said—that he is certainly not buried in the McCoy Family Plot in New Cathedral Cemetery, and that his wife told the Census taker that she was a widowed mother of four daughters as of 1870.

By 1880, he had a grandchild whom proved that his Sephardish Yidishkeit was still around and alive within the family, even though he apparently hadn’t been around or alive since 1870—his daughter Rosalita had a daughter whom she named “Ann(e)”, and his ex-wife and his daughter’s in-law mother both went by “Ann(e)”. Then he had more grandchildren by Rosalita with a mark to prove that no real Catholicism was to be found as far as he was concerned: after all, none of the granddaughters carried “Mary” or any variant thereof for either a first name or otherwise as an honorific for the mother of Jesus.

Even Alice Marie Reilly named none of her daughters “Mary” or any variant thereof insofar as the prénom d’honorifique de la Virginé is concerned—the first names of her daughters were “Marguerite” (since her in-law mother was Margaret Conley Allen—and I’m now realizing where her Sephardish Yiddishkeit showed up in that regard, if I hadn’t already realized it a little bit), “Katherine”, “Bernadette”, and “Dolores”.

 (Per JewishGen, by the way and although JewishGen covers mostly Ashkenazi Jewish communities, “Marguerite” and “Katherine”—and variants thereof—were used among Jews; and as one rabbi told me when I asked if naming Reilly for Nana Allen and her mother was permissible in Jewish tradition, “There are no rules for such a thing. You may name your pet anything you like.” Also, Ariela Pelaia of ThoughtCo—formerly About.Com—captures what I’ve generally read regarding both Hebrew and Non-Hebrew names when she states, “[T]here is no hard and fast rule when it comes to giving your child a Hebrew name.”

(Also by the way, Sephardic Jewish girls will sometimes be named after living grandparents as opposed to living parents—the minhag varies in that regard.) 

As far as Alice Marie’s sisters, they were (besides Anne—z”l—whom died at the age of seven or eight):
1.    Rosa
2.    Sara—not “Catherine”, but “Sara Catherine” (and contrary to what Mom claims, “Sara” is not a common Catholic name—or at least too common of one—as it would arouse suspicions, especially in a family in which the first girl is not named “Mary”)
3.    Helen
4.    Agnes—whom later became “Sister Mary Rosalita Reilly”

By the way, Alice Marie’s first son was Edgar Joseph, for his father and distinguished as “Edgar Joseph Eymard”—and I’m now really beginning to see the Sepharidish Yiddishkeit (or “Sefardishkeit” or even “Ladinokeit”— and I’m going to assume that I coined those despite I can’t say that I made those up—after all, “Sefardish” and “Ladino” were long around before I was, and making  “Sefardishkeit” from “Sefardish” and “Yiddishkeit” is simply just making a compound word that can be used to describe the Yiddishkeit of Sephardim in Yiddish.

(Also by the way, I’m pretty sure that this is at least part of why my maternal grandfather took an interest in Yiddish, although he was—even if he didn’t know that he was—reasonably ascertainably a matrilineally-Jewish grandson of a patrilineally-Jewish bat Anusim—and his widow, my maternal grandmother, is my maternal grandparent whom is of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage.)

Meanwhile, this alone (as I’m now realizing) helps to explain why I thoroughly and even defensively  explain quite a bit of what I explain—as if getting called “an overall liar” at Sheppard Pratt by a caseworker whom fell for my father’s lies about me wasn’t enough, having Nana Allen throw her younger children and their descendants for a loop really affected me to start laying out every detail of quite a few cases once I found out about being thrown for such a loop—and as if many of my matriarchs and patriarchs on Dad’s side didn’t do enough loop throwing, todah rabah (and their loop throwing was more understandable than her loop throwing, as—as I later read—the Inquisition ended in 1834, whereas increasing Anti Semitism still affects many of my paternal relatives loathe to admit that we’re Jewish—even to the point at which one relative is trying to paint me as an overall liar in regard to what my father’s maternal grandmother did, and notwithstanding that I can neither help what happened or conjure up evidence to fit the narrative of what he wants to believe what happened.

(Incidentally, that will—God willing—probably end up in More Shit And Other Stuff That I Can’t Make Up—after all, just typing all of this after a partly-mental-illness-affected hiatus from writing has affected my mental illnesses to flare up.)




“Polio”


This one probably pisses me off the most. Despite articles that discuss the Irish Catholic “shame” of the Kennedys regarding Rosemary Kennedy (with “shame” being the word that the Kennedys themselves used), Nana Allen—who herself identified as a strong Irish Catholic—still has no excuse for lying about Grandaunt Kas’ Cerebral Palsy.

The story still goes that Grandaunt Kas contracted polio when she was seven or eight—this despite that she wasn’t going to have time to contract polio in the midst of the Spanish Flu Epidemic of 1918 and the Rheumatic Heart Fever Epidemic of 1923-1925 or thereabouts. Rheumatic Heart Fever is what actually killed Grandaunt Dolores, whom died on January 25, 1923, by the way (and as for where I got the 1925 date, Great-Granddad Czarnecki’s sister Regina died of Chorea due to Rheumatic Heart Fever on June 23, 1925).

Grandaunt Kas was born on November 6, 1911, and Grandaunt Bern somehow remembered that Grandaunt Dolores died in the Spanish Flu Epidemic. Either way, no way was Grandaunt Kas going to be going anywhere where she could contract polio—she was probably as housebound when the Spanish Flu hit the Allen household as much as all of the Allen children were when Rheumatic Heart Fever hit the Allen household. The more that I thought about that, then, the more that I had to conclude that Nana Allen told another bubbe meise—even my grandmother at first said that she didn’t know for sure, and that Nana Allen had “a lot of stories”.

Besides:

1.    Mild Cerebral Palsy can become worse after illnesses such as the flu and Rheumatic Heart Fever—and with illnesses that can cause fevers, you’re messing with illnesses that can cause some serious brain damage. So either way, Grandaunt Kas either had exacerbated Cerebral Palsy after the Spanish Flu Epidemic or she had a fever that effected brain damage and resulting Cerebral Palsy.
2.    The person whom told me that Grandaunt Kas had Cerebral Palsy, he would have no reason to lie—he worked for her when he and my mother were in high school, and she could tell a kid like him what she wouldn’t have dared to tell peers of hers or quite a few people within her own family!



That would also explain the real reason that Grandaunt Kas turned down three marriage proposals—not because she wanted to be single and independent, but because she was afraid that each of her suitors would run if they found out what she really had—and I can tell you that because I’ve lived being both implicitly and explicitly rejected by peers of mine due to my Cerebral Palsy.

Tuesday, November 7, 2017

Closing Thought For The Night Of Cheshvan 17, 5777 (November 6-7, 2017)

Once again, part of why I'm a Republican: real Republicans, unlike RINO *****, don't set up people with mental illnesses to be demonized. ***** set up people with mental illnesses to be demonized by using this man whom may have even used his mental illnesses as an excuse, or at least has people whom are using them as an excuse for him (since he doesn't even seem to acknowledge that he had them, let alone needed medication for them).

Congratulations, Democrats (including RINOs) and Clinton Dreaders: you've either been had by RINO ***** or are known as being complicit with him.

Mind you that this isn't to all Democrats and Clinton Dreaders: this is to just the ones whom've either been had by RINO ***** or are known as being complicit with him. There are many reasonable Democrats and Clinton Dreaders whom can wake up and either start or restart fearing God over dreading Clinton.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: What Knowing Would've Helped: e.g., My Father Passed His Mental Illnesses Down To Me

April 2006, Spring Break, a threat of suicide, and thus a whole week in April of 2006 and a whole Spring Break spent in Sheppard Pratt...and this after I reached my breaking point with my father's abusiveness. Not to mention that learning about the Holocaust 4.5 years earlier, right after 9/11, actually partly effected the onset of my OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD—and that I would eventually figure out that that's why he had all of those pill bottles in his apartment, and that other matters would be explained by my father's OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD.

So went my life with the fallout of 9/11, the times shortly before it, and the times shortly after it. At least my father's admitted to having ADD since then, but the Depression and OCD/Anxiety are still—albe an open secret to me and others—a secret. Of course, knowing about my father's Depression and OCD/Anxiety would've helped before I had to end up in Sheppard Pratt, let alone after I ended up in it. The worst part is that my mother knew about it and didn't tell me even about the day that she ended up discovering that he took Wellbutrin®, the generic of which I currently take (at least when I have the energy and time to be at consistent with my medication as possible) and any given form of which I have no idea in regards to whether my father still takes it.

Speaking of medication, my father's paternal grandfather—whom took medication for his own Depression—did not have medication work for him, and he subsequently took his own life as a result of ultimately-medication-resistant Depression. That, too, would've helped to know, especially when the bubbe meise about him dying of Black Lung was pulled together from three facts that were quite the opposite of the facts of his too-late-to-abort suicide attempt:


  1. An Anthony Czarnecki was born in October 1908 and died in 1972—and my father claimed that his grandfather died when he was 12. That Anthony Czarnecki died in a fire in Philadelphia, in contrast to the Anthony Czarnecki whom was actually born in October 1904 and jumped off of Exeter's long-since torn-down Falls River Bridge in December 1964.
  2. He did have Black Lung as a result of being a miner and did actually immigrate from Poland. However, he as a pogrom survivor came over here with his parents, and his brothers Bernard "Bernie" (whom was subsequently exploited by my great-granduncles John and Joe), Joseph "Susi" (whom my granduncle Tony, z"l, understandably described as an "SOB"), and Edward "Ed" Czarnecki (whom subsequently served at Fort Knox when my grandfather served down there in the days of mandatory service) served in World War Two. In other words, the bubbe meise about a lone immigrant from Poland whom became a miner, served in Korea, and died of Black Lung obscured a darker story and helped my try to father steal valor from Great-Granduncles Bernie (whom died in 1963) and Ed (whom served stateside during Vietnam and prior to the draft, and probably Korea). Thus, not ever occurring to me was that a child survivor of the pogroms and an Anusi felt the ultimately-fatal weight of his being an Anusi and other matters in his life (including his brother Bernie's death from a Schizophrenia-caused coronary occlusion after years of suffering either a botched shrapnel-removal operation or a lobotomy, and his brother Susi's exploitation of a fellow veteran—and one whose botched shrapnel-removal operation or a lobotomy left him a child-like and easily-exploitable state for the rest of his 43 years.)
  3. If Anthony Czarnecki wasn't the grandfather whom apparently died when my father was 12, then it would've been his grandfather Michael Gaydos. After all, a Michael Gaydos whom was born in 1891 did die in 1972. Of course, it wasn't the 1904-born Anthony Czarnecki whom died in 1972, and it wasn't actually Michael Gaydos, either—Great-Granddad Gaydos died of a heart attack when my father was 15.
Only a copy of Great-Granddad Czarnecki's death certificate that a maternal cousin of my father sent me cleared up that matter for me—and my father's excuses that I was too young to know before did not help my father, either, as he just added insult (his excuse) to injury (his bubbe meise). My mother's excuse that it was up to him and not her to tell me also didn't help, as she once again went along with my father's secrecy.

By the way, Depression also killed my paternal grandmother's granduncles Frank, Sr. Fosko and Andrȧs "Alexander" Foczko, as well as—despite the denials of some of my family in spite of the statistical evidence—her grandfather Istvȧn Foczko—whom died young and had seven children, with six of them being sons, and with 2/7 of his children and of his sons taking their own lives.

As for five of her maternal aunts and uncles, they had Alzheimer's and other forms of Dementia—and Alzheimer's and Dementia are linked to Depression.

Do the math, and you will figure out why knowing that I inherited Depression (as well as comorbid OCD/Anxiety and ADD that only exacerbate the Depression) from my father would've helped long before I was in Sheppard Pratt and long after I was in Sheppard Pratt, and long after I maybe wouldn't have been in Sheppard Pratt had I known about that the mental illnesses that I have and set on as a result of my father's abuse, the fallout of 9/11, and other factors came from that same father whom abused me partly by hiding that he has those mental illnesses. 

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Small Puppies, Big Accidents

That Reilly might have OCD/Anxiety is rough enough on "Momma", especially since "Momma" has OCD/Anxiety that flares up on days like yesterday and today. To hear that "Mimi" accidentally kicked Camille under the chin flares up "Auntie Nicole"'s own OCD/Anxiety, and to hear "Mimi" describe it as her "accidentally kick[ing] Cam in the throat" really flares up "Auntie Nicole"'s OCD/Anxiety!

When "Mimi" described what actually happened, "Auntie Nicole" felt a little more relieved. Nonetheless, she's still worried about Camille's throat in the long term, despite that Camille seems fine so far. Besides, "Mimi"/"Auntie Michelle" could've simply described what happened in the first place as that:


  1. Camille (who's a small adult puppy whom tends to blend in with the kitchen floor, anyway) was behind her when she was getting Reilly a treat.
  2. She either lifted her foot up or moved it back to walk backward.
  3. Her heel landed under Camille's chin.
  4. Camille understandably (as "Auntie Nicole" heard) squealed. 
"Mimi" obviously apologized to Camille, all while worried "Auntie Nicole" kept wanting to make sure that Cam is okay.



Monday, October 16, 2017

"Minimal Brain Damage" & "A Touch Of OCD": aka, Some Ridiculous Statements That Mom Made This Morning


  1. "Everyone has MBD—"Minimal Brain Damage."
  2. "Everyone has a touch of OCD."
  3. "Nobody comes out with a perfect brain."
"They say..."

Who's "they", by the way? I think that I asked Mom, and she didn't tell me. Statistically, meanwhile, she can't even back up her argument:


"Prevalence Of Mental Illness

  • Approximately 1 in 5 adults in the U.S.—43.8 million, or 18.5%—experiences mental illness in a given year.
  • Approximately 1 in 25 adults in the U.S.—9.8 million, or 4.0%—experiences a serious mental illness in a given year that substantially interferes with or limits one or more major life activities.2
  • Approximately 1 in 5 youth aged 13–18 (21.4%) experiences a severe mental disorder at some point during their life. For children aged 8–15, the estimate is 13%.3
  • 1.1% of adults in the U.S. live with schizophrenia.4
  • 2.6% of adults in the U.S. live with bipolar disorder.5
  • 6.9% of adults in the U.S.—16 million—had at least one major depressive episode in the past year.6
  • 18.1% of adults in the U.S. experienced an anxiety disorder such as posttraumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder and specific phobias.7
  • Among the 20.2 million adults in the U.S. who experienced a substance use disorder, 50.5%—10.2 million adults—had a co-occurring mental illness.8"





Incidentally, I think that Mom has OCD to which she won't admit—which entails a long explanation and might explain why she makes the kinds of statements that she made this morning.

Does Reilly Have Canine OCD? "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" Think So.

"Momma" can understand why. Besides, she might have set off Reilly's OCD if Reilly does have OCD (and she has caused other heartbreaks for Reilly as she's felt heartbroken lately)! What they note:


  1. How she obsessively licks Cam's bowl after "num nums" time (which "Momma" thinks could be a dominance show) as well as her own bowl (She can taste things that humans can't, though.).
  2. How she constantly cleans her paws.
  3. Other symptoms, such as itching and scratching constantly (Reilly tends to get dry skin, though.)
"Momma", meanwhile, wonders if Reilly has Canine ADD, since—for example—she gets easily distracted by other puppies, neighbors, and other animals and people when "Momma" takes her to "go potty"—and Reilly often has to go inside after quite a while and wait until later to try to "go potty" again because she can't find a "potty spot"! 

Thursday, September 28, 2017

Camille's Pre-UTI Inflammation Or Early UTI Infection, Mental Illness, Etc.

Somehow, my phone ended up sending Facebook-status updates to the wrong page. Nonetheless, this does eventually give me the opportunity how pets such as my sister's puppy, Camille, can affect the mental health of their human family members—such as my sister and me—for good and—albe inadvertently—for bad.

Like my sister, I have OCD/Anxiety; and let's just say that, that exacerbated our dread when Camille ended up at the emergency vet due to a fever and pre-UTI inflammation or a UTI infection. For many (if not most) people with OCD/Anxiety, this is the case: that is, dreads that are understandable and normal become exacerbated, and the exacerbation affects an OCD/Anxiety. Thus, an OCD/Anxiety-Exacerbated Dread cycle began when Camille ended up at the emergency vet.

There have also been other mental illness-exacerbation cycles regarding events ad other matters that involve Camille and Reilly (my puppy), and I imagine that this is nothing surprising to other pet owners whom also have mental illnesses. I imagine that this is also nothing surprising to those whom've read what I've specifically written about or otherwise mention in regard to those matters—not to mention that I feel absolutely judged (and know that I've been judged) for writing about those matters (Don't think that I'm not aware of that when, e.g., I lose friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter for writing about those matters and sharing my writing—what you think of me online reflects exactly what you think of me offline, as the Internet is merely technology that you use and not the reason for how you act offline and online).

Am I going to lie, though, when, for example:


  1. I overslept quite a bit during Reilly's first year due to a Depression flareup? I was very lucky that Reilly needed up to 20 hours of sleep per day during that amount of time, meanwhile.
  2. I have been unfairly judged by my mother and even my sister, whom have said that I shouldn't own a pet if I can't take care of her or him due to how my mental illnesses affect me? (By the way, "[Y]ou shouldn't own a pet if you can't take care of her or him" is a common canardic trope that is used against people with mental illnesses and other people with disabilities—not to mention people like me whom have both mental illnesses and other disabilities.). They (like others) could be a little more understanding and helpful instead of unempathetically judgemental.
  3. The mental illnesses that I have effect energy drains that affect me to not be the best "Momma" to Reilly and "Auntie" to Camille?
  4. The guilt that I feel for not being the best "Momma" to Reilly and "Auntie" to Camille affects my Bruxism to flare up (as it's affecting it to flare up as I type)? By the way, I inherited every single one of my mental illnesses (including OCD/Anxiety) from my father, whom also has Bruxism.
  5. There are actually matters about which I've not written (including which I didn't mention before writing this blog entry), such as OCD/Anxiety flareups when I'm making cards with pictures of Reilly and Camille? Because of the OCD/Anxiety flareups, making those cards can take quite a bit of time. For example (and this is where I feel judged already again), I often hit the "Undo" or "Delete" button when making those cards because what if, for example and God forbid. I'm using colors that look like colors that hate groups use (I try to avoid using certain colors because of that.) or drawing a shofar with shapes and end up using it on the card, anyway, because I can't correct the part of it that looks like a butt when at least one of the shapes is unfilled or outlined? Am I actually being irreverent and is my motive actually to be irreverent, even by typing this? Also, I avoided using "objects such a shofar with shapes" because I don't want to sound like my Anti-Semitic ex pastor whom called the Ark Of the Covenant a "piece of furniture" by calling a shofar an object.
Incidentally, my memory-affecting ADD also flared up as I was writing. For instance, I forgot for quite a few seconds what I was intending to Google when I (and for a moment just now, I forgot that I wanted to type "intending to Google when I") went to Google "Bruxism"? As for when my ADD flares up in regards to immediate matters regarding Reilly, instances of my ADD flaring up are when I forget that I was going to put on her harness and leash or give her a treat.

Meanwhile, Camille is healing from the pre-UTI inflammation or early UTI infection—and (though I don't mean to sound flippant) excuse me if part of her pre-UTI inflammation or early UTI infection was due to not taking her to "go potty" as often as it seems like I could, as my energy is frequently drained. Besides, Camille doesn't always immediately ring the bell when she needs to "go potty", and I don't know if she needs to "go potty" until she rings that bell or indicates that she needs to get out of her crate during naptime to ring the bell.

Friday, September 8, 2017

Why I Am Disappointed In Sadie Robertson, Even Though I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder

Sadie Robertson, one of the "Duck Dynasty" kids, struggled with (based on the way that it sounds) Bulimia, given that even her mother had no idea that she had an eating disorder (and especially those with paternal and maternal eyes can notice significant weight losses). Per "Frequently Asked Questions About Eating Disorders" per Johns Hopkins Medicine:

"Both anorexia nervosa and bulimia are characterized by an overvalued drive for thinness and a disturbance in eating behavior. The main difference between diagnoses is that anorexia nervosa is a syndrome of self-starvation involving significant weight loss of 15 percent or more of ideal body weight, whereas patients with bulimia nervosa are, by definition, at normal weight or above."

 Why I am disappointed in Sadie Robertson, then, is her attitude re "tak[ing] authority over [her thoughts]":

"'The day I prayed for the Lord to enlighten my eyes to see His standard of beauty, is the day my whole life changed," she said. "Do these old thoughts come back from time to time? Absolutely, but it is my job to take authority over them.'"

For many fellow self-identifying Christians of Sadie Robertson with eating disorders and other mental illnessesⁱ, it's not as simple as the "Duck Dynasty" star makes it—and people like her whom use religion falsely give many a "Just pray and it'll mostly go away" idea to consider.
In fact, quite a few Christians and people in other religious groups with eating disorders and other mental illnesses think, "If only it were that easy!" and may even become antithetical toward religion as a result. Faith communities are supposed to be there to help those with eating disorders and other mental illnesses, not have an "Oh, ye of little faith; that's why you have a mental illness!"
Also, not everyone has the resources (e.g., money, groups of social networks, significant social status) that Sadie Robertson has. I even go as far as to add that Sadie Robertson may as well have kept her struggle with her eating disorder private instead of having talked about it in such a thoughtless and cavalier way.
As a Biblical proverb goes¹, "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; [w]hen he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." There is only foolishness in using religion to make light of serious problems, especially when the person whom makes light of the problem assumes at some level that she or he is the only one struggling with the problem.
One's making light of her or his her given mental illness (whether it is an eating disorder or another type of mental illness) with a "Pray for it to go away" attitude may even have a deadly affect on others, since "[d]eath and life are in the power of the tongue."
After all, people who feel like "I just don't have enough faith. I can't do this, anyway" may even commit suicide as a result²; and for people with eating disorders, suicide may come in the form of deliberately starving themselves to death. Sadie Robertson needs to remember that every time that she begins to assume that it's as simple as "Pray for it to go away" for everyone with eating disorders.


Including myself—and I myself have OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD
¹ I quote the New King James Version, via Bible Gateway, here.
² I don't know whether this was a motive in the suicides of Great-Granddad Czarnecki, Great-Great-Grandma Rusnak's brothers Ferencz "Frank" and Andrȧs "Alexander" Foczko, and 
Great-Great-Grandma Rusnak's father (Istvȧn Foczko; also "Focko"). My family's case was and is different, as we are Anusim and B'nei Anusim whose ancestors became and lived as Anusim due to Anti Semitism in Eastern Europe and the United States, and mental illness set offs and flareups in our family indeed have been affected by the dynamics of being Anusim and B'nei Anusimincluding the dynamics of family secrecies.

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Working On "Follow Me" With Reilly, And An Incidental Note

"Momma" is working on "Follow me" with Reilly, and Reilly had "Follow me" basically had it down when she and "Momma" worked on it before. Reilly seems to be doing well with "Follow me" after going "potty" and when going inside to get a treat (Stubborn Camille is another discussion: she refuses to even listen to "Auntie Nicole" when "Auntie Nicole" tells her "Follow me". Then again, Camille can be overall stubborn—as, for example, she was last night when "Mimi" thought that she had a piece of plastic in her mouth. She gave her a hard time about checking for any plastic, too!).

As for going upstairs and following "Momma" at night, Reilly is still working on that—although she's mostly listened to "Momma" and earned the treat that she gets each time that she follows "Momma". "Momma" has to sometimes pull Reilly back and remind her, "You don't lead me. I lead you." or "You follow me; I don't follow you."

Incidentally and meanwhile, "Momma" has had horrid mental-illness flareups again due to confusion re a certain subject—while she thinks that she knows what a certain person wants, he has to tell her eventually (or does she have to ask him? Either way, someone has to budge and tell. Besides, she—for instance—doesn't look forward to getting older—let alone old—alone or continuing to detrimentally affect Reilly.)

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Reilly's Barking Only Causes "Momma"'s OCD/Anxiety To Flare Up

Part of the reason that "Momma"'s considering DBS Surgery is that Reilly's barking can flare up "Momma"'s OCD/Anxiety—and today is one of those horrid days on which Reilly's inappropriate barking is causing a flare up. "Momma" has a hard time sleeping at night, anyway, due to the OCD/Anxiety in part—and then the OCD/Anxiety in turn flares up due "Momma"'s tiredness. As a result, Reilly's inappropriate stresses her out more and effects the OCD/Anxiety to flare up—especially when she won't listen when she's told to stop barking.

It's a vicious cycle of OCD/Anxiety flareups, "Momma"'s lack of sleeping well, OCD/Anxiety flareups, and Reilly's inappropriate barking causing more stresses.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Re Boni's To-Be Hotel And Fellow People Of Hers Whom Struggle With Mental Illnesses





I think that Boni's hotel will be a place where people whom struggle with mental illnesses like she does (and like I do) will be able to go when their families kick them out for having mental illnesses or when they otherwise move away from their homes due to having mental illnesses and non-supportive families, when they'd rather stay in hotels like Boni's hotel than stay in psychiatric hospitals, and when they are affected by other circumstances.

Saturday, August 5, 2017

A Woman Whom Abused Her Puppy? Or Did She Have A Severe Mental-Illness Flareup?

I wonder if she has severe mental illness such as Bipolar or Schizoaffective Disorder. Before people judge her as "trash", they need to remember that people with mental illnesses such as  Bipolar and Schizoaffective Disorders act highly unusually during mental-illness flareups. My sister has a friend whom may have Schizoaffective Disorder and even got him- or her-self in academic and legal trouble as a result of a mental-illness flareup, for example (He or she is known to have Bipolar Disorder for sure.). 

Meanwhile (and those who have read my blog previously know this), my great-great-grandmother Alexandria Czarnecki was known as "a holy terror" and "a tough cookie" whom almost caused my great-grandmother Mary Czarnecki to have a mental breakdown. Only when I saw my great-granduncle Bernie Czarnecki's death certificate did I figure it out: Great-Great-Grandma had Schizophrenia (the other mental illness of which Schizoaffective Disorder is comprised). As far as I know, Great-Granduncle Bernie was the only of my Czarnecki great-granduncles and great-grandaunts to have had it, by the way; and Great-Granddad Czarnecki seems to have not had Schizophrenia (He did have suicide-affecting Depression, though; so, he was not completely lucky in terms of escaping mental illnesses. He had his own struggles.).

Monday, July 3, 2017

A Very-Open Letter To Cory Galbraith

With all due respect, I would imagine that souls like those of the late Elie Wiesel, Primo Levi, and Billy Wilder were a lot more tortured. In fact, Primo Levi committed suicide and Billy Wilder had to yell "THOSE BASTARDS KILLED MY MOTHER!" at an actor whom turned out to be a Nazi sympathizer.

I say this as one whom, for example, suffers Depression, has a late-great-great-grandmother whose Bipolar Disorder and Post-Partum Depression effected her to suffer Alzheimer's Disease and die in her 60s, has a late great-great-grandmother whom suffered Schizophrenia (as did my late great-granduncle Bernie), was a pogrom survivor (along with my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki, whom had Depression and committed suicide), and lost relatives in the Holocaust; and I lost a cousin whom was murdered in the T4 Program due to having Schizophrenia.

But then again, perhaps, what do I know? Perhaps the suffering of Holocaust survivors and other Holocaust-affected people, pogrom survivors (including 4th-generation survivors like me) and other pogrom-affected people, and those with mental illnesses besides Vincent van Gogh meant and mean absolutely nothing. Perhaps Vincent van Gogh suffered worsely than any Holocaust- and pogrom-affected person would ever suffer by having lived and heard about as relatives were gassed, shot, stabbed, hanged, burned, and otherwise murdered; and any other person whom suffered Depression and mental illnesses. By the way, the Holocaust was in Germany as well as Russia, where Stalin implemented a "Final Solution" plan in 1948.

If I don't know whether Vincent van Gogh was "history's most tortured soul", though, then living fellow Holocaust survivors of Elie Wiesel et. al., pogrom survivors and fellow legacy bearers of mine, and others besides me and Vincent van Gogh whose minds and families' minds are and were afflicted by mental illnesses do. 

Monday, June 19, 2017

Re People With Mental Illnesses Having Guns: Should We Be Sitting Ducks For Ableists?

Some people with mental illnesses actually do need guns. For example, vulnerable people who may well be targeted due to have mental illnesses need guns to defend themselves. As for Tr**p, he actually hates people with disabilities, including those whom have mental illnesses.


Thus, this ableist ploy by Tr**p to demonize people with mental illnesses may well backfire on him when his Tr**pites whom are committing hate crimes may realize that people with mental illnesses will not allowed themselves to have people step on them.

As for me, I wish that I had and could use a gun to defend myself against anyone whom would target me due to my Depression, OCD/Anxiety, and/or ADD alone (and wasn't getting a threat from a "physically fit German American" due to being a Jew with disabilities enough?).


Besides, look at how the Nazis were partly able to implement T4: they made it illegal for Jews in Europe to be armed, and (as I found out via JewishGen) I lost a cousin whom was murdered because she had Schizophrenia:

Lodz Ghetto Hospital Death Records


Searching for Surname (phonetically like) : RUSZNAK
1 matching record found.
Run on Sun, 18 Jun 2017 22:55:09 -0600

NameAddress
Occupation
BornDied
Cause
CommentsSource
List Date
Page
Line
RUSZNAK, MagdalenaV. Str. 10 
Bedienerin 
1904
Kaschau 
27-Jun-1942 
Schizophrenie 
 Hospital Records
29-Jun-1942
2
54 


 

Lumping in all people with mental illnesses with those such as Adam Lanza, whom refused to get help and whom committed a mass murder-suicide shooting, is wrong and playing right into Tr**p's hands.

Monday, April 17, 2017

An Example Of A Hurt That Only Truth Can Heal (To At Least Some Extent)

"Notwithstanding the opportunity to reach for a better outcome, there was no need for Jonathan, or for us, his parents, to live in shame, and certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie."

This is the exact opposite of how my father feels; and this is notwithstanding that I inherited his OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD. I found out from one of his maternal cousins that his paternal grandfather committed suicide, not died of Black Lung. When I confronted Dad, he gave the excuse that I was too young to know the truth about Great-Granddad's death; and this is despite that the sons of my Granduncle Tony (z"l) was honest with his own children upfront about how their grandfather died, meaning that Dad could've been as honest with me as Granduncle Tony was with his children.

Too often, people who have other things that they want to hide, hide whatever they can with bubbe meises instead of telling the stranger-than-fiction truth; and it has only "certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie." In fact, the bubbe meises make it worse, especially when the truth hits—and when you, for example, ended up in Sheppard Pratt for threatening suicide before you knew what partially explained it: i.e., that your father's paternal grandfather actually committed suicide and passed on his Depression to your grandfather (and you've figured out that your late grandfather had Depression, and that he passed it on to his oldest child), your father, and you.

Somewhat Offbeat: A Few Remarks From "Mom-Mom" Over the Past Few Days & A Note To Someone


"After Mom-Mom" said that "Momma" doesn't love Reilly as much as she loves Cam, "Momma"/"Auntie" got incredibly sarcastic with her and sent her this picture—which she took for her phone wallpaper—this morning: "You're right: I don't love Reilly or ever try to take pictures of her."

She also sent an earlier picture:



"She wanted me to take her picture."

"Mom-Mom" later said that "it's about time" instead of apologizing to "Momma".

Remarks like that sting, and especially after (for example) "Mom-Mom" already accused "Momma" of being "lazy" for not putting Reilly's soft food in the fridge right away or in a jar a few days ago—notwithstanding that "Momma" put it in a bag and tried to put a lid over it before she and Reilly went "night nights"—and "Momma" neither knew or heard that she was supposed to put it way, as she thought that "Auntie Michelle" was supposed to put it away that time. But if se did hear it, she forget that she heard it due to her ADD—and she can't just "train [herself]" to manage it better.

Speaking of which, "Momma" has a quick note for someone:

¿Porqué hiciste pensar que yo fuera áspera con respecto a qué ella dijo a mí a eso un momente? Yo no fuera áspera. Por cierto, pienso que entiendo quiere con respecto a una situación específica en relación a Reily; pero dime lo que quiere á alguno punto, por lo menos si y/o cuando Yejovah quiere que dime lo—¿puede lo hacer?—y esto es muy dificil por mí pedir, pero necesito lo hacer porqué, por ejemplo, no tener una repuesta clara afecta exacerbaciones de mi enfermedades mentales.