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My blog is "The Nicole Factor" on Blogspot, my Facebook page "Nicole Czarnecki aka Nickidewbear", and YouTube and Twitter accounts "Nickidewbear."

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Showing posts with label living. Show all posts
Showing posts with label living. Show all posts

Saturday, March 25, 2017

As The Old Jewish Saying Goes, And As I've Lived Especially Of Late...

What's keeping calm when you're Jewish? What's not worrying when you're Jewish?

As for me and being a Jewish Christian, I get the whole "Do not worry", "Come to Me, you whom are weary...", "Cast your cares...", etc.. Notwithstanding that (and here goes the "Oh, you of little faith"):


  1. Having Cerebral Palsy and IBS affects worry for good reason.
  2. Having OCD/Anxiety and ADD affects worry for good reason. By the way, I'm actually not the first one to have made an observation regarding whether OCD/Anxiety is inherently Jewish, and I was joking about that more to cope with my own OCD and wondering (so much for Jewish humor, as I got a hard time for making that observation)—the schtick about (I kid you not) OCD being a "Jewish disease" (as Dr. Avigdor Bonchek phrased the schtick whether OCD is Jewish) has been around for a long time. To be fair, look at, e.g., B'midbar 7 alone—having to be perfectly scrupulous about the right number of the right offerings like that could cause anyone to worry—then look at Vaiykra 11 and B'midbar 19—I myself (assuming that I'd survived birth and even had some part in Jewish life) would be washing and extra washing all day. Then try the fences around Torah. Overtime, that has to get embedded into one's genetic code and/or brain chemistry—thus, I think, part of why God desires mercy over sacrifice and obedience over burnt offerings, as His point seemed to be that ritualism as opposed to simply living by faith (e.g., "walk[ing] humbly with your God").
  3. Getting the amount of hate that I get (as I probably will over the observation above, for example), whether rightly or wrongly, affects me to always worry for good reason—even, e.g., who's going to unfriend me on Facebook or unfollow me on Twitter, thus reflecting online how what they think of me both online and offline? After all (as Curt Schilling of all people stated), people online are who they are offline and what they would be offline "if they could get away with it" (which he stated after two of his daughter's high-school classmates used Twitter to send her rape threats.
I could give more examples, though I think that three examples suffice—especially as I brace myself and bide to see how many more instances of Example Three will happen even over the next couple of minutes, especially in regard to Example Two. 



Saturday, October 24, 2015

Where I've Been, And Why I've Been So Busy Lately—At Least In Short, Anyway

With my sister having graduated college and gotten Camille (who, by the way, is almost seven months old now), I have hardly had much space to myself of late. Thankfully, though, she finally got a job and will be around a lot less during the day—nonetheless, that does not spare me from, e.g., her random outbursts (and she does not have Tourette's Syndrome—she just likes to vocalize essentially every thought that she can vocalize. In fact, I have no peace right now—as I type, she is pestering me with a lack of peace and quiet; and I, thus, have a lack of focus).

In any case, making commentary-and-analysis—and other—videos has essentially become impossible. Any abstract forcefield of time, space, and other conducive factors that I have to make those videos is virtually gone—penetrated like a bubble that is popped with a needle. 

The same goes regarding my mother, at least because of the fact that her homecoming time and my waking-up time are less distant than they used to be. Hardly being able to sleep at night, I've sometimes slept well into the afternoon—and woken up just hours before she comes home. In the small space between those times is a lot on which a tired-and-frustrated me has to catch up.

Add that these two hardly give me space and time for and to myself, I can't drive, etc.—then you'll see why I can do hardly anything to maintain a conducive forcefield of peace and productivity, and why I'm even unable (read "forbidden") to deal with certain subjects (despite that, e.g., my and others' warnings about certain kinds of individuals and groups on all sides are becoming "I told you so" and "Who hath believed our report?" statements right before many eyes. If you need a hint, I'll remind you about the 20th Anniversary of the Million-Man March on one side, and Netanyahu and revisionism about the Holocaust on another side.).

I've also written and published a book that was written and published because of a God-sent opportunity, and I'm working on another one. Needlessly to say, the book is not yet selling—and I get that the international shipping prices are a part of it—and I'm working on another book in the meantime—and that writing has involved setbacks.

I'm also dealing with flareups of my OCD/Anxiety, Depression, ADD, and IBS—and I have Acute Otitis Media which was just diagnosed yesterday (and while the AOM should, Yehovah willing, go away soon, the OCD/Anxiety et. al. will not). The flareups affected and exacerbated the AOM, too, I bet. Meanwhile, the flareups have been affected by the writing setbacks and other issues—and it's been a vicious cycle. 

Nonetheless, people (at the very least) wonder why I persist in asking for prayer (and at the very most, they ditch me and/or even'd like to have me dead if they could have their way.).

Ocean Waves Hitting Rocks
Via http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=8945&picture=ocean-waves-hitting-rocks