The "Nicole Factor" Is Online

Welcome to the Nicole Factor at blogspot.com.

Google+ Badge

Stage 32

My LinkedIn Profile

About Me

My Photo
My blog is "The Nicole Factor" on Blogspot, my Facebook page "Nicole Czarnecki aka Nickidewbear", and YouTube and Twitter accounts "Nickidewbear."

TwitThis

TwitThis

Twitter

Messianic Bible (As If the Bible Isn't)

Views

Facebook and Google Page

Reach Me On Facebook!

Search This Blog

Talk To Me on Fold3!

Showing posts with label family history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family history. Show all posts

Thursday, July 5, 2018

Cry, Cry, "Recall the Fifth Of July!"

On a Thursday, July 5th 73 years ago today, these two men were part of an uprising that is overlooked by historians and others alike: these two, Franciszek and Witold Andrulewicz, were part of the Augustów Resistance. They didn't have to fight the invading Soviets. They did. Why?

Why they didn't have to do it and why they did it are on the one in the same (and I can tell you that the sides of our family back in Europe were aware of it, no matter denials, etc. on all sides now): they were B'nei Anusim whom had seen it before, and they were not going to see it again, even if they had to die to try to make sure that nobody else would see it—and they did die.

Even if Holocaust historians and others overlook the Russian part of the Holocaust, I won't. Even if Holocaust historians and others don't consider the time from Stalin's reign to the closing of the gulags as part of the Holocaust, I will. Even if the Augustów Resistance isn't remembered even much in Poland—let alone as much as other defenses that Jewish and other partisans undertook—I will remember it.

אפריים בן אביגדור (פרנטישק בן וינצנטי) ופעידל בן יוסף (ויטולד בן יוסף), זיכרונם לברכה; וכל אחרים קדושים באוגוסטוב, זיכרונם לברכה



Friday, June 15, 2018

As I've Stated, I Assure You That It's Not "Typical Narcissistic Hollywood". It's Nothing New That...

It's more like typical Danilovich narcissism. As I've said, I have seen that ugly **** on my side of the family. I'm distantly related to her husband's paternal family and arrogance like this is par-for-the-course classic on at least my side of our common family, so I should've figured that another in-law family member would be like this (and we've had plenty of like-in-law-like-member in laws).

Refresher:

Long story short and/or just as a refresher, someone once asked me if I am related to Kirk Douglas since the paternal grandmother of my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki was a Danilovich. I said that I'm not, as I thought that his surname was "Demsky".
Count One against that assumption: he was born a Danilovich. Count Two: he even looks like a relative, and I figured out quickly that the apparently-"Czarnecki chin" is a Danilovich one. Count Three, the big one: he has wreaked havoc on the world such as raping Natalie Wood (and as if our side didn't wreak havoc on the world, thank you very much!). I don't know (forgive the language) WTF was in the water of Dunilavičhy, the former shtetl whence the Danilovich/Danilowicz name comes, although something was.



Of course, "[p]ride goeth before the fall," and "God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." Sadly, though, some people become more arrogant when they fall—and you can guess how I know that from familial experience.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

"How does depression kill people?"



My great-grandfather did exactly this [that is, "jump[ed] out of a burning building to escape fire"], except that he jumped off of Falls River Bridge. His final Depression flareup killed him inside, and he got to the point of wanting to commit suicide. As for me, I could’ve died [due] to starvation due to a Depression flareup that caused me to oversleep and even miss much of my puppy’s first year:
Reilly and Camille are a main reason why she is alive right now—and, to the chagrin of many, she has said this before. She wonders what would happen to especially Reilly if something ever happened to her, and something almost did happen to her before she got Reilly—she overslept to the point at which she could have died due to starvation due to oversleeping because of a Depression flareup had the flareup become worse than it already had been.
As she's also mentioned before, she missed much of Reilly's first year because of her Depression flareup—not to mention "Auntie Michelle"'s Depression-exacerbating insistence that her apparent "experience" was more important than her reading, talking to pet owners in the neighborhood, c..
People get mad when I say that my “dogter” and furniece keep me alive, though I have even thought about suicide despite that they are around. Depression kills one inside first and then may cause him or her to kill himself or herself.

Saturday, March 17, 2018

While I'm Not Jumping To Conclusions Yet, I Know That Hate Is More Likely Possible Than Not

To find out that family tombstones were overturned a few years ago is one matter. To think that they could possibly be connected to a hate crime is another. The person who told me didn't specify "a few years ago", so I asked him or her and told him or her my concern. The tombstones were of some of my Irish family whom I will not specify right now, and of more-specific family within that family if my suspicions are correct.

If my suspicions are correct and the stones weren't overturned due to old age (and I don't know of their status now, though I assume that they've been returned upright), I will say this: regardless of whether someone found something out through anything I've written online, by figuring it themselves, etc., that gives them no right to do what they did. What they did also proves part of why certain family members chose to pass for fully Irish, and in a so-called "Christian" society.

That's why even on St. Patrick's Day and ever since I found out about my Jewish heritage, I identify as a Jew. While I'm also Irish among of other ethnic groups, I'm mostly Jewish. My father is a Jew, though he denies it. My mother is a Jew, although she denies it and is my parent of Irish descent. I'm a mostly-Patrilineal Jew and haven't forgotten that since almost 10 years ago, no matter how much any of my family members wants to deny that, and Saint Patrick didn't deny that the Jesus whose message was brought to him through my people (and the Irish people through him) was a Jew¹.

¹ Or as I believe, "Whose Message....Is a Jew".

Sunday, February 18, 2018

Something That I Thought About Re A Friend's Facebook Post Re A TV Character's Comment On Anorexia

(This was originally a reply on Facebook. I have added more thoughts within the thought here.)

To be honest, I've wondered what Holocaust survivors and their descendants think of that, even in regards to the ones whom have Anorexia whether or not it's in remission. Especially were I a first-generation Holocaust survivor, I might be thinking, "I was starved in the [']concentration['] [actually, murder] camps, and you girls and boys are willingly starving yourselves? Don't you realize that you have the privilege to eat?" 

(Let's face, by the way, that "concentration camps" either understates or obscures exactly why the Nazis built the murder camps, which they built solely to hold as hostages and enslave Jews in order to try to commit full-scale ethnocide—and while there were Jews whom were complicit in that, many or most Poles and other gentiles were the main ones whom were either passively or actively complicit in that. To see why my family decided to become Anusim, also by the way, is not that hard, especially when one looks solely at the experiences of my great-grandfather Czarnecki's maternal family during the Holocaust.


On the other hand, I am sadly certain that some Holocaust survivors experienced of some form of Anorexia because they thought that they weighed too much in comparison to other Holocaust survivors and victims whom died of starvation. I've read of parallel cases in which, for example, Holocaust survivors whom have died deliberately had themselves cremated because they felt guilty about surviving while their loved ones and others were cremated either alive or after they were otherwise murdered.



Incidentally, I've also read of first- and subsequent-generation Holocaust survivors experiencing onsets of other mental illnesses, including OCD/Anxiety and of course Depression and PTSD. I can relate to that because mental illnesses certainly onset in family members of mine and in myself after traumatic incidents of lesser degrees except for when those incidents have been almost- or entirely-equal-in-degree Anti-Semitic incidents such as the Belostok Pogrom. After all, for instance, I am a fourth-generation pogrom survivor, and I would not be surprised if the Depression that caused my father's paternal grandfather's suicide was at least partly related to being affected by the Belostok Pogrom. I would also not be surprised if the onset of my OCD/Anxiety and Depression was related to my being a fourth-generation pogrom survivor and being therefore all the more affected by 9/11 and its fallout as well as beginning to learn about the full extent Holocaust during the fallout, although only when I found out that I am Jewish was when I looked back and realized that my nefesh Yehudit was sensing all of the Anti Semitism that my own family endured and responding to what I was learning and 9/11 with its fallout in light of my own family's experiences

Sunday, January 21, 2018

Some Of What the ***** Administration Has Done For Me


  1. Caused me to dread for my life. I'm a Jewish woman with disabilities whose DREAMer-equivalent great-grandfather had Depression and, at the end of his life, a severe work-related injury that caused his Depression to flare up and him to commit suicide.
  2. Caused me to dread for my well being. I have even received threats from *****ites in the past.
  3. Caused me to dread for the lives and well beings of those like me—including other women. By the way, I would have supported the Women's March if Linda Sarsour and Donna Hylton were not involved with it, and if classless and hypocritical "p***y hats" were not worn.
  4. Left me, along with other #NeverTrump Republicans, to explain that real Republicans have either never supported ***** (and I myself wrote in Kasich) or came to regret supporting ***** (By the way, what does one call Republicans whom will regret supporting *****: Re-prodigal-icans? GOProdigals? As for the ones whom already have regretted supporting *****: Former Re-prodigal-icans? Ex GOProdigals? And if the Republicans whom supported or support ***** regret or will regret supporting him: Ba'alei teshuvpublicans?
  5. Affected my OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD to flare up, and get some gray hairs to boot—one of which I recently caught on video and may come from *****-related stress for all that I know.
  6. Made me care for law, justice, order, and politics more, and understand how frightening *****'s "law and order" concept is—which is why I support Special Counselor Mueller's probe.
  7. Made me understand history better—after all, for example, I'm a descendant of a DREAMer equivalent whom was a pogrom survivor and came face to face with Anti Semitism (and given that, as a relative of mine told me, my paternal grandfather "used to fall asleep in the back of the church" during the masses that they attended when my father was young, I'm pretty sure that Great-Granddad had come face to face with Anti Semitism multiple times and hinted that he did to his children when they themselves were young).

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Re "Depression and a Love of Food"


My father did the same thing regarding his "Vitamin B12" bottles, except that he was malicious about it. Long story short, there are a lot of family secrets in my dad's family (some of which I've blown off the lid, about which my father and others are not happy), and the Depression was one of them. Only later did I find out about how the paternal grandfather from whom he partly inherited his Depression really died, and I didn't find out until long after I had been in a Baltimore-area mental hospital for threatening suicide due to (among other factors) Depression and the abuse that exacerbated it.

He also inherited Depression from his mother's side. My guess is that she is a carrier for it unless she has Depression about which I don't know, because two of her maternal granduncles and her great-grandfather who was their father committed suicide. Also five of her maternal aunts and uncles had Alzheimer's and/or Dementia, which are linked to Depression.

I will say, then, that Julie Charnet's experience with her mother certainly contrasts my experience with my father.

PS Incidental note: I wonder if Julie Charnet's father was originally a Charnetski and related to my family:
  1. That's a variant that we used for Chernetzky/Czerniecki (See note below.)
  2. Without trying to be crude or funny, I have to say that it wouldn't surprise me given the divorce and miserable-marriage rate in our Chernetzky/Czerniecki/Czarniecki (and we must've thought partly that we were trying to be funny by passing¹)/Zernetzky....what else have we used....Czarnecki family.
¹Passing for certain szlachta didn't work—nice try; and we could've at least tried to pass for less Anti-Semitic ones if we were going to pass at all!

Sunday, December 31, 2017

A Request That I Have For Jewish Celebrities In 2018

Please donate to JewishGen on behalf of the many of us whom don't have the privileges of donating much or even anything—and as I forestated, this is my request. In fact—to make quite a long story short and be generous regarding it, and without going into details—I myself am dealing with, unfortunately, a JewishGen "volunteer" whom has no interest in helping B'nei Anusim like myself, and I don't want other B'nei Anusim or anyone else to endure the kind of treatment by that "volunteer" that I've endured. I want to thus assure that JewishGen can have enough donated to them so that they and others who want to help B'nei Anusim and others can index and release more records, and therefore remove genealogical-research brick walls such as the unhelpfulness of certain "volunteers".

In conclusion, consequently, I have one simple question: what, then, is even a donation for as little as:

  1. חי-אלף דולרים ("Chai" thousand dollars)?  
  2. Even לז-אלף דולרים ("Double Chai" Thousand dollars)?'
Thank you for a part of the rest of your 2017 or beginning of 2018 as well your consideration of my request, and Happy New Year!

Nicole Czarnecki, JewishGen Researcher 312607

Sunday, December 24, 2017

Who's Laughing Now? Mental Illness Is Not Funny, And Ricky Gervais' Alcoholism Is Certainly Not Funny

Remember that addiction is a mental illness, and this is all too common of a sentiment among those with addictions: i.e., the sentiment "I like it too much, I'm not going to give it up" is too common. In fact, my own aunt eerily told my sister that she herself would "quit drinking when [she died]." She unfortunately died of Alcoholism in June of 2008 at the age of 56, which is Ricky Gervais' current age, and may have been 57 in November of that year had she'd been able to get treatment for Alcoholism—and who knows if Ricky Gervais won't share her fate almost a decade later ☹?

What disturbs me is that the "Daily Mail​" seems to see nothing disturbing about anyone, let alone a prominent figure, sending the message that there is nothing wrong with refusing to attempt to get treatment for mental illnesses even when one has the resources to get such treatment. As for Ricky Gervais' loved ones, I find what they're doing perhaps even more disturbing: they seem to be quite content with not wanting to try to help him get help. In contrast to my family whom did try to help my aunt get help, they seem to encourage him to, for example (and as he related), "[wet] himself after six pints of Guinness during a weekend bender."

Regardless of whom has (a) mental illness(es) or what a given person's mental illness(es), nothing is funny or encouragable about allowing someone to be overtaken by a mental illness.

PS My great-great-grandfather Julian Czerniecki (later Julian Czarnecki), whom was born on December 24, 1875 in Polish Russia, was also besieged by Alcoholism, and I don't know when Alcoholism onset for him. What I do know is that the Anti Semitism—and other persecutions and hardships—that he faced in Polish Russia (which he left after the Belostok Pogrom) and in the United States affected an exacerbation of his Alcoholism (and if you think that having to pretend to be a Polish Catholic and settle in out-of-the-way Sugar Notch in order to survive isn't hardship, don't kid yourself¹).

I also know that Great-Great-Granddad Czarnecki was not help as exacerbated Alcoholism (not to mention other mental illnesses, including Depression) besieged him. I have seen, heard, and lived that "Hurt people hurt people" cycle partly because of that; and that is party of why I find disturbing that the "Daily Mail" and those whom apparently love Ricky Gervais want to see him beseiged by a mental illness and perhaps even dead from it.

By the way, the aunt who died from Alcoholism was a maternal aunt; so, Alcoholism is actually on both sides of my family—that of course makes even more disturbing to me what the "Daily Mail" and Ricky Gervais' loved ones are doing, as they are basically saying that they'd like that both people like Ricky Gervais and people on both sides of my family to die of mental illnesses.

I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, though, given how ableist society is and how society hates both famous and non-famous people with disabilities such as mental illnesses.



¹He also had the hardship of being born on a date when Pseudo Christians persecuted the very people of Jesus—whom many of them ironically called "Jeszua", pronounced "Yeshua", by the way—imagine having to live your life never knowing if you'll make it to your next birthday because people whom claim to be celebrating the birth of Jeszua want to commit ethnocide against the very people for whom the New Testament says that Jeszua is Messiah first.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

Part Of Why I Don't Always Wish People A "Happy Birthday" On Facebook Or LinkedIn

Long story short, IBS flareups can drain me and affect me to not want to do as much as I could. Longer story short, those (especially with mental-illness flareups and draining-enough Cerebral Palsy) make breathing hard on some days (like today), which can be draining.

Consider this, after all: when your colon presses against your diaphragm and presses your diaphragm onto your lungs, your lungs can't fill up as well and are in a perpetually-somewhat-exhaling state. It'sas far as I knowa little-known symptom that's actually—as I had to Googlefrustrated other IBS users.

Try having been prematurely born as well (and having a father whom didn't quit smoking until you were about six years old) and probably being a carrier for long-dormant Tuberculosis—since at least some of your ancestors had it (and at least one died of it)as well as having ancestors whom had Miner's Lung and other lung-affecting issues (such as addictions to cigarettes and alcohol) and your lungs can really be, so to speak and forgive the language, *****ed up on some days.

In fact, I'm having IBS-related breathing issues as I'm typing—and that's why I mentioned that IBS flareups can make breathing hard on some day's, and thus draining in of itself.

PS If you suffer IBS (and/or any of the other health-related issues that I've mentioned here) and/or have loved ones and/or coworkers whom suffer from IBS (and/or any of the other health-related issues that I've mentioned here) , you might be able to relate to this and get a better sense of what you and/or those in your life suffer. You thus might, for example, be able to at least somewhat understand why even you and/or someone else in your life may seem like a distant and uncaring jerk on some days—not being able to breathe, and thus not being able to have as much as energy to do all that you could do, makes being able to express that you care for others hard.

Also PS: I was thinking about the Amtrak accident in Tacoma and wanted to tweet "#Pray for Washington", and I've been wanting to tweet "#Pray for Reilly, since she has another ear infection"—and wanting to tweet those things are just among the many things that I've wanted to do and that I still have to do.

Saturday, November 25, 2017

Preview Of An Excerpt From "More Shit And Other Stuff...": The Long Fight & A Huge Apology That I Anticipate

To make a long story short, getting libelled over Forgiving Mary Gaydos has been no fun. I certainly believe that a huge apology is coming down the pipeline, God willing, meanwhile. As I stated, there has been a long fight—especially with some relatives whom insist that I'm blaming Great-Great-Grandma Rusnak, despite that I've insisted the contrary.

Meanwhile, I've done more research, and a couple of facts were both reconsidered and brought to light. For example [as JewishGen, AncestryDNA, and Google Maps will show, and I will screenshoot for the actual section].:


  1. The Košice Rusnaks actually had their start in Eger, Hungary.
  2. Some Košice Rusnaks travelled between Romania, Hungary, and Slovakia. Some also even lived in Romania.
  3. Eger is only 59 hours from Kisbánya (today, Chiuzbaia) in terms of walking distance, and 29 hours from Košice—which is 52 hours from Chiuzbaia—and Jews as much as gentiles walked long distances like that back then to visit family and friends for every occasion from b'rit milot to levayot.
  4. The main cousin who insists on putting up a fight shows as my father's fourth to sixth cousin when he is actually a known third cousin. By the way, as I found out in a Jewish Genealogy group on Facebook, at least one DNA website is still showing "Khazar" DNA in some Jews when genealogists such as Kevin Alan Brook have thoroughly disproven and debunked that any Khazar DNA is in any Ashkenazi Jew! Also by the way, AncestryDNA is still in 2.0 for its atDNA-testing process; and I still remember when I was one of many Ashkenazi Jews asking AncestryDNA to really look more carefully at "Eastern European" DNA results.
Relatedly, I've told and retold the particularly-insistent cousin the following, among other things (including some of the above facts):

  1. No person wakes up and decides to make up shit such as that an ancestor betrayed relatives during the Holocaust, especially if he or she didn't know that he or she is Jewish for years.
  2. atDNA is different than Y-DNA and mtDNA.
  3. I was certainly skeptical that he or she had a conversation with an in-law cousin's relative. I even asked him or her, "Are you telling the truth?" (Needlessly to say that I ended up getting the sense that he or she isn't, because I certainly would've gotten accused of lying and of other chillulim HaShem by that relative.).
  4. I still have yet to see translations of certain letters, and nobody just asks for money in the midst of a depression (and since it turned out that at least some of the letters were from 1948, they could've well been from Rusnaks whom ended up in Germany—Yehoshua Rusznak whom was born in 1920, for example, died in Germany in 1998. For my part, though, I remembered incorrectly whose son he was and when he died: I thought "Vilmos" and "1999", not "David 'Dudus'" and "1998". Incidentally. I've should've mentioned that nobody just asked for money after World War Two, either, despite that the U.S. economy boomed back from the Depression because of wartime labor which was done by women and men whom couldn't join the U.S. Armed Forces.)
  5. I still remember Grandaunt MaryAnn writing about the reunions being first held "[a]fter Julia [d. July 5, 1945] and Andrew [d. February 9, 1947] died", not about when the letters were written. Grandaunt MaryAnn left quite the impressions that Foczkos asked for money during the Depression.
As I stated before, then, I believe that a huge apology is coming down the pipeline after the long fight that certain cousins have put up—as even my father (ironically) states, "You can't change history"!

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Excerpt From "More Shit And Other Stuff That I Can't Make Up": At Least Fudge Was Alive. As For Our Hamsters...

Trust me that they each were dead: 
  1. One inhaled refrigerator insulation (Dad's negligence)
  2. The second had wet tail
  3. The namesake fell into a squirrel-dug hole and fell 16 feet before meeting another six (Dad's negligence)
  4. And the fourth died naturally 

With the namesake, by the way, Dad actually named the namesake one to make us think that the name-honored one had survived. At least I give that he used minhag Ashkenazi, even though that wasn't exactly his intent.

What I don't give—or get—is his intent to deceive—which could be called both lashon hara and perhaps shem hara, maybe even chillul shem (and since we're discussing deceit here, chillul HaShem). Even worsely is that we—that is, my sister and I—found out about it only long after both the name honoree and the namesake had been deceased, and even long after the final hamster had been deceased—and we found out when we were having lunch with my father and my grandmother.

To sum this up, then:

  1. Dad allows Santa Little—whom, by the way, was named as a compromise for "Santa Claus" and "Stuart Little"—to dig a hole in the closet after escaping from his ball—and all of us agree that Dad should've gotten Santa out of the closet and back into the ball right away, as one cannot compromise wherein negligent rodenticide is involved.
  2. Dad lets the second Frisky meet a similarly-ignominious end after not even telling us that the first Frisky died of Wet Tail—let alone that he searched around for a similar-looking hamster to make us think that the first Frisky had survived—and then the second Frisky ends up meeting the kind of ending that the first overall hamster met.
  3. Dad lets Anastasia die naturally—because what better way to let a hamster die after her predecessors die is there, especially since she was named in honor of a princess whom was caught up in the middle of how her Anti-Semitic parents angered Lenin, Trotsky, and quite a few others? 
A "tail" of four hamsters that has fur-flying irony, paradoxes, and plenty of "Oy veys!" to accompany it—and with the reflection that a third-generation pogrom survivor uses minhag in a bad way while he at least has no mishaps with the namesake of a secondary victim of Anti Semitism.

As I said, more shit and other stuff that I can't make up!
Meanwhile, at least Fudge (whose story I just read on the news and thus inspired me to recall the story of my own hamsters) is apparently living a sweet and warm life in contrast to the cold and bitter endings that my own hamsters met—though at least they all had decent levayot in my grandma's backyard! 

Wednesday, November 8, 2017

My Next Book Is Being Published. Why I Made The Prices High This Time, By The Way

As I stated in the most-recent excerpt of the book, "[a]fter all, just typing all of this after a partly-mental-illness-affected hiatus from writing has affected my mental illnesses to flare up." For me, having Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses (not to mention IBS) makes writing incredibly hard especially when I'm often drained of energy. Exacerbating the difficulty that I have in writing books is that I type with only one finger at a time, I can't format pictures and adjust screenshots as quickly as those without Cerebral Palsy or similar conditions can (at least physically—for those of them that have mental illnesses and/or other conditions, their difficulties in typing, formatting pictures and adjusting screenshots, etc. can be just as significant as mine).

Thus, I think that the labor that I put into writing this book justifies the $9.99 Kindle-editon price and the $18 paperback-edition price for which I am selling the book. By the way, my arms and legs are feeling tired as I'm typing; and my OCD/Anxiety, etc. is flaring up along with my muscles feeling tired.

Also by the way, I'm still giving away a copy of my first bookespecially since its main subject has been incredibly patient with me throughout all of this, including a difficult time that I'm enduring for both my sake and for my first book's main subject's sake.

Update (7:03 PM EST): The new book is published.


Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: “Dark Irish”, Allen, and “Polio”—Three Bubbe Meises That Nana Allen Told To the Younger Kids (With My Maternal Grandfather Being One Of Them)

I seem to have more of a contempt for my late maternal grandfather’s mother the more that I understand about her, at least wherein her bubbe meises are concerned. The three bubbe meises that really (forgive my language) piss me off (as if “shit” wasn’t language for which I might need to ask forgiveness):

1.    That we’re of the “Dark Irish”
2.    [Not excerpted here]
3.    That my grandaunt Kas had polio

The real stories are the following, respectively:

The “Dark Irish”


We’re Portuguese Irish, and likely even Sephardic Jewish and Irish. Nana Allen’s maternal grandfather was a “John McCoy”, and probably an Anusi—and “McCoy” was certainly not his own name, as he is not buried in the McCoy Family Plot in Baltimore’s New Cathedral Cemetery. As for how he immigrated to Ireland, my grandaunt Bernadette “Bern” Allen Dew (z”l) stated that “He fled a war in Spain”—which I found out after I saw the Census record that read “Spain” and “Ireland” for the respective birthplaces of Nana Allen’s maternal grandparents, the parents of the Rosalita “Rose” (or “Rosa”) McCoy Reilly whose 1900 Census record lists the “Spain” and “Ireland” in question for her parents’ birthplaces. As for the “war in Spain”—as “John McCoy”’s 1850 Census record helped me to research—that war was the Peninsular War, from which he as a Lisboa-born infant fled with his parents to Ireland.

About three decades after he immigrated to Ireland as a war refugee—and almost certainly an Anusi one at that—he immigrated to the United States as—as far as I know—an immigrant. By 1850, he had been married to MaryAnn Elizabeth née McCoy for at least eight to ten years and had the following children:
1.    John, Jr.
2.    MaryAnn Elizabeth, Jr. (whom, per a record of her second husband’s family history, told the bubbe meise that her mother was born “Mary Dolan”)
3.    Ann

He seems to have named the first two children per minhag Sephardi—after all, the first son was named for his father, and the first daughter was named for her mother (and apparently got a flair for spreading bubbe meises from—ironically—her, as the 1880 Census Record for a “Rose Riley” lists both of Mrs. “Riley”’s parents as having been in Ireland—and even while the 1880 Census record for MaryAnn’s and Rose’s sister Lavinia lists them as having been born in Maryland.)

Then he had four more children, and a nasty divorce to boot about six years after the youngest one was born. While I don’t know the exact circumstances of the divorce, I know—as I said—that he is certainly not buried in the McCoy Family Plot in New Cathedral Cemetery, and that his wife told the Census taker that she was a widowed mother of four daughters as of 1870.

By 1880, he had a grandchild whom proved that his Sephardish Yidishkeit was still around and alive within the family, even though he apparently hadn’t been around or alive since 1870—his daughter Rosalita had a daughter whom she named “Ann(e)”, and his ex-wife and his daughter’s in-law mother both went by “Ann(e)”. Then he had more grandchildren by Rosalita with a mark to prove that no real Catholicism was to be found as far as he was concerned: after all, none of the granddaughters carried “Mary” or any variant thereof for either a first name or otherwise as an honorific for the mother of Jesus.

Even Alice Marie Reilly named none of her daughters “Mary” or any variant thereof insofar as the prénom d’honorifique de la Virginé is concerned—the first names of her daughters were “Marguerite” (since her in-law mother was Margaret Conley Allen—and I’m now realizing where her Sephardish Yiddishkeit showed up in that regard, if I hadn’t already realized it a little bit), “Katherine”, “Bernadette”, and “Dolores”.

 (Per JewishGen, by the way and although JewishGen covers mostly Ashkenazi Jewish communities, “Marguerite” and “Katherine”—and variants thereof—were used among Jews; and as one rabbi told me when I asked if naming Reilly for Nana Allen and her mother was permissible in Jewish tradition, “There are no rules for such a thing. You may name your pet anything you like.” Also, Ariela Pelaia of ThoughtCo—formerly About.Com—captures what I’ve generally read regarding both Hebrew and Non-Hebrew names when she states, “[T]here is no hard and fast rule when it comes to giving your child a Hebrew name.”

(Also by the way, Sephardic Jewish girls will sometimes be named after living grandparents as opposed to living parents—the minhag varies in that regard.) 

As far as Alice Marie’s sisters, they were (besides Anne—z”l—whom died at the age of seven or eight):
1.    Rosa
2.    Sara—not “Catherine”, but “Sara Catherine” (and contrary to what Mom claims, “Sara” is not a common Catholic name—or at least too common of one—as it would arouse suspicions, especially in a family in which the first girl is not named “Mary”)
3.    Helen
4.    Agnes—whom later became “Sister Mary Rosalita Reilly”

By the way, Alice Marie’s first son was Edgar Joseph, for his father and distinguished as “Edgar Joseph Eymard”—and I’m now really beginning to see the Sepharidish Yiddishkeit (or “Sefardishkeit” or even “Ladinokeit”— and I’m going to assume that I coined those despite I can’t say that I made those up—after all, “Sefardish” and “Ladino” were long around before I was, and making  “Sefardishkeit” from “Sefardish” and “Yiddishkeit” is simply just making a compound word that can be used to describe the Yiddishkeit of Sephardim in Yiddish.

(Also by the way, I’m pretty sure that this is at least part of why my maternal grandfather took an interest in Yiddish, although he was—even if he didn’t know that he was—reasonably ascertainably a matrilineally-Jewish grandson of a patrilineally-Jewish bat Anusim—and his widow, my maternal grandmother, is my maternal grandparent whom is of Ashkenazi Jewish heritage.)

Meanwhile, this alone (as I’m now realizing) helps to explain why I thoroughly and even defensively  explain quite a bit of what I explain—as if getting called “an overall liar” at Sheppard Pratt by a caseworker whom fell for my father’s lies about me wasn’t enough, having Nana Allen throw her younger children and their descendants for a loop really affected me to start laying out every detail of quite a few cases once I found out about being thrown for such a loop—and as if many of my matriarchs and patriarchs on Dad’s side didn’t do enough loop throwing, todah rabah (and their loop throwing was more understandable than her loop throwing, as—as I later read—the Inquisition ended in 1834, whereas increasing Anti Semitism still affects many of my paternal relatives loathe to admit that we’re Jewish—even to the point at which one relative is trying to paint me as an overall liar in regard to what my father’s maternal grandmother did, and notwithstanding that I can neither help what happened or conjure up evidence to fit the narrative of what he wants to believe what happened.

(Incidentally, that will—God willing—probably end up in More Shit And Other Stuff That I Can’t Make Up—after all, just typing all of this after a partly-mental-illness-affected hiatus from writing has affected my mental illnesses to flare up.)




“Polio”


This one probably pisses me off the most. Despite articles that discuss the Irish Catholic “shame” of the Kennedys regarding Rosemary Kennedy (with “shame” being the word that the Kennedys themselves used), Nana Allen—who herself identified as a strong Irish Catholic—still has no excuse for lying about Grandaunt Kas’ Cerebral Palsy.

The story still goes that Grandaunt Kas contracted polio when she was seven or eight—this despite that she wasn’t going to have time to contract polio in the midst of the Spanish Flu Epidemic of 1918 and the Rheumatic Heart Fever Epidemic of 1923-1925 or thereabouts. Rheumatic Heart Fever is what actually killed Grandaunt Dolores, whom died on January 25, 1923, by the way (and as for where I got the 1925 date, Great-Granddad Czarnecki’s sister Regina died of Chorea due to Rheumatic Heart Fever on June 23, 1925).

Grandaunt Kas was born on November 6, 1911, and Grandaunt Bern somehow remembered that Grandaunt Dolores died in the Spanish Flu Epidemic. Either way, no way was Grandaunt Kas going to be going anywhere where she could contract polio—she was probably as housebound when the Spanish Flu hit the Allen household as much as all of the Allen children were when Rheumatic Heart Fever hit the Allen household. The more that I thought about that, then, the more that I had to conclude that Nana Allen told another bubbe meise—even my grandmother at first said that she didn’t know for sure, and that Nana Allen had “a lot of stories”.

Besides:

1.    Mild Cerebral Palsy can become worse after illnesses such as the flu and Rheumatic Heart Fever—and with illnesses that can cause fevers, you’re messing with illnesses that can cause some serious brain damage. So either way, Grandaunt Kas either had exacerbated Cerebral Palsy after the Spanish Flu Epidemic or she had a fever that effected brain damage and resulting Cerebral Palsy.
2.    The person whom told me that Grandaunt Kas had Cerebral Palsy, he would have no reason to lie—he worked for her when he and my mother were in high school, and she could tell a kid like him what she wouldn’t have dared to tell peers of hers or quite a few people within her own family!



That would also explain the real reason that Grandaunt Kas turned down three marriage proposals—not because she wanted to be single and independent, but because she was afraid that each of her suitors would run if they found out what she really had—and I can tell you that because I’ve lived being both implicitly and explicitly rejected by peers of mine due to my Cerebral Palsy.

Tuesday, October 31, 2017

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: What Knowing Would've Helped: e.g., My Father Passed His Mental Illnesses Down To Me

April 2006, Spring Break, a threat of suicide, and thus a whole week in April of 2006 and a whole Spring Break spent in Sheppard Pratt...and this after I reached my breaking point with my father's abusiveness. Not to mention that learning about the Holocaust 4.5 years earlier, right after 9/11, actually partly effected the onset of my OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD—and that I would eventually figure out that that's why he had all of those pill bottles in his apartment, and that other matters would be explained by my father's OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD.

So went my life with the fallout of 9/11, the times shortly before it, and the times shortly after it. At least my father's admitted to having ADD since then, but the Depression and OCD/Anxiety are still—albe an open secret to me and others—a secret. Of course, knowing about my father's Depression and OCD/Anxiety would've helped before I had to end up in Sheppard Pratt, let alone after I ended up in it. The worst part is that my mother knew about it and didn't tell me even about the day that she ended up discovering that he took Wellbutrin®, the generic of which I currently take (at least when I have the energy and time to be at consistent with my medication as possible) and any given form of which I have no idea in regards to whether my father still takes it.

Speaking of medication, my father's paternal grandfather—whom took medication for his own Depression—did not have medication work for him, and he subsequently took his own life as a result of ultimately-medication-resistant Depression. That, too, would've helped to know, especially when the bubbe meise about him dying of Black Lung was pulled together from three facts that were quite the opposite of the facts of his too-late-to-abort suicide attempt:


  1. An Anthony Czarnecki was born in October 1908 and died in 1972—and my father claimed that his grandfather died when he was 12. That Anthony Czarnecki died in a fire in Philadelphia, in contrast to the Anthony Czarnecki whom was actually born in October 1904 and jumped off of Exeter's long-since torn-down Falls River Bridge in December 1964.
  2. He did have Black Lung as a result of being a miner and did actually immigrate from Poland. However, he as a pogrom survivor came over here with his parents, and his brothers Bernard "Bernie" (whom was subsequently exploited by my great-granduncles John and Joe), Joseph "Susi" (whom my granduncle Tony, z"l, understandably described as an "SOB"), and Edward "Ed" Czarnecki (whom subsequently served at Fort Knox when my grandfather served down there in the days of mandatory service) served in World War Two. In other words, the bubbe meise about a lone immigrant from Poland whom became a miner, served in Korea, and died of Black Lung obscured a darker story and helped my try to father steal valor from Great-Granduncles Bernie (whom died in 1963) and Ed (whom served stateside during Vietnam and prior to the draft, and probably Korea). Thus, not ever occurring to me was that a child survivor of the pogroms and an Anusi felt the ultimately-fatal weight of his being an Anusi and other matters in his life (including his brother Bernie's death from a Schizophrenia-caused coronary occlusion after years of suffering either a botched shrapnel-removal operation or a lobotomy, and his brother Susi's exploitation of a fellow veteran—and one whose botched shrapnel-removal operation or a lobotomy left him a child-like and easily-exploitable state for the rest of his 43 years.)
  3. If Anthony Czarnecki wasn't the grandfather whom apparently died when my father was 12, then it would've been his grandfather Michael Gaydos. After all, a Michael Gaydos whom was born in 1891 did die in 1972. Of course, it wasn't the 1904-born Anthony Czarnecki whom died in 1972, and it wasn't actually Michael Gaydos, either—Great-Granddad Gaydos died of a heart attack when my father was 15.
Only a copy of Great-Granddad Czarnecki's death certificate that a maternal cousin of my father sent me cleared up that matter for me—and my father's excuses that I was too young to know before did not help my father, either, as he just added insult (his excuse) to injury (his bubbe meise). My mother's excuse that it was up to him and not her to tell me also didn't help, as she once again went along with my father's secrecy.

By the way, Depression also killed my paternal grandmother's granduncles Frank, Sr. Fosko and Andrȧs "Alexander" Foczko, as well as—despite the denials of some of my family in spite of the statistical evidence—her grandfather Istvȧn Foczko—whom died young and had seven children, with six of them being sons, and with 2/7 of his children and of his sons taking their own lives.

As for five of her maternal aunts and uncles, they had Alzheimer's and other forms of Dementia—and Alzheimer's and Dementia are linked to Depression.

Do the math, and you will figure out why knowing that I inherited Depression (as well as comorbid OCD/Anxiety and ADD that only exacerbate the Depression) from my father would've helped long before I was in Sheppard Pratt and long after I was in Sheppard Pratt, and long after I maybe wouldn't have been in Sheppard Pratt had I known about that the mental illnesses that I have and set on as a result of my father's abuse, the fallout of 9/11, and other factors came from that same father whom abused me partly by hiding that he has those mental illnesses. 

Monday, October 23, 2017

Why The Eagles May Be The New Football Team For Whom I Root


  1. Embarrassing the U.S. internationally (i.e., in the United Kingdom) was wrong (and that goes for the Jaguars, too). 
  2. I have paternal roots in Pennsylvania (and regardless of whom likes it or hates it, Jewish roots where my ancestors felt safer as Anusim in the U.S. than as Anusim or open Jews in Europe. As a Jew, then, I have to ask fellow Jews and others to remember that we'd all have to kneel if every persecuted group had to kneel—even WASPs aren't exactly as White as they'd like to think. Besides, one of the great Phillies players was Jewish—his father and one of my great-great-grandmothers were maternal siblings through Anna Haszlinsky Uszinskyova nee Jasova.). 
  3. On the note in Point Two: if any group should be kneeling, Jews should be. However, regardless of our various beliefs—as a Jew is a Jew regardless of whether he or she is religiously traditionally Jewish, Buddhist, or something else—many (if not most) of us have been able to recognize that the "Judeo-Christian" country that the U.S. is often actually not has been—at least up to this point—one of the Diaspora safehavens for Jews and allies of Jews compared to multiple countries throughout history.
  4. This is (as I recall) another loss in a row for the Ravens since the Ravens-Jaguars game (Divine Justice against the Ravens for being ingrates?).
  5. I might root again for the Ravens when I see the Ravens players kneeling for the Baltimore Police and not Freddie Gray or other criminals, such as the toadie of a certain late priest—since they're kneeling for one criminal, they're kneeling for other criminals.

Wednesday, October 4, 2017

To Rep. Tim Murphy: My Mother's Cousin Was Gang Raped And Kept Her Baby, And...

You didn't even want to keep your consensually-conceived child! Your ex mistress is absolutely right about your hypocrisy:

"In response to an anti-abortion message on the congressman's Facebook account, The Post-Gazette said the woman wrote: 'And you have zero issue posting your pro-life stance all over the place when you had no issue asking me to abort our unborn child just last week when we thought that was one of the options.'"

I suppose that your RINO friend, the so-called "POTUS", is rubbing off on you. By the way, how's your life working out, besides that it seems to suck right now?

In comparison (as my mother last heard), my mother's cousin's life ended up working out. When she couldn't adopt out the child, she kept the child and ended up with a man whom's long since been an adoptive father to a child whom could've easily been aborted or abandoned.

Incidentally, your pro-life stance and other moral stances are actually fake news—and remind your friend of that the next time that you see him, so that he'll have an actual example of fake news which he can't try to spin: after all, the direct source will have told him that his pro-life and other moral stances were fake news.

Monday, October 2, 2017

A Historical Comparison By A Bat Anusim, And "Can Congress Actually Impeach A 'President'?"

No, and the continuing problem is that people are calling D*****d Tr**p "President". As a fourth-generation pogrom survivor, I can tell you that talk—e.g., about Congress removing Tr**p from officewithout action is—as the saying goes—empty words, or even words that are full of either irony, paradoxy, smooth-tongued malice, survivalism, or mystery and/or secrecy. My paternal family's words in regard to our heritage, for example, were and are full of mostly survivalism and secrecy, due to the ironic and maliciously-smooth words of the self-proclaimed Judeo-Christian United States. 

They were full of survivalism and secrecy when my paternal grandfather's paternal family became Anusim and fled Lipsk for a United States that at best ended up doing relatively bupkis for especially other Jews in Russia (both in the Imperial Era and the Soviet Era, the former of which Great-Granddad Czarnecki and his parents fled). Along with Great-Granddad Czarnecki's family were other families (including other sides of my father's families), both of Anusim and of Non Anusim, whom fled Russia—not to mention Jewish families (including other families of my father) Austria Hungary and Imperial Germany, and not to mention Jewish families (including family members of my father) whom fled Post-Austrohungarian and Post-Kaiserreich states and localities—and for these Jews, the United States also did bupkis.

Where, for instance, was the United States during the pogroms and the Holocaust but for getting involved in wars and other matters only when they affected the United States directly? In one case—and probably one of the most infamous (if not the most infamous of the most infamous) ones—a president allowed Nazis into the United States, got involved in War World Two only Pearl Harbor was hit, and spurned a delegation of rabbis, even at the cost of Jewish-American civilians whom were somehow in Europe during the Holocaust in Germany. As for the Holocaust in Russia, especially after the Holodomor and Stalin's intent to implement his"Final Solution" plan, the United States also deliberately failed to get involved in that! (By the way, don't be fooled: Stalin darned well knew that Ukraine had long had a significant Jewish population, and the Russian Army surely wasn't quick to stop the Babi Yar Massacre!)


This time, especially those of us whom are descendants and/or otherwise relatives of direct pogrom and Holocaust survivors are as affected by an aspiring Neo ****** and Neo Stalin as our ancestors and/or relatives were affected in Imperial, Nazi, and Communist (including Soviet) Europe—direct pogrom and Holocaust survivors are being affected all over again. The most-significant factor in all of this is that anyone is calling D****d Tr**p the "President of the United States", and an illegitimately-elected "President" is not a "President". Meanwhile, are especially direct and indirect pogrom and Holocaust survivors not to be at least a little scared of a man whom, for example:

  1. Targeted especially Jews from the beginning? After all and for starters, according to him, "the only kind of people [whom he wanted] counting [his] money are little, short guys that wear yarmulkes every day," yet "[we weren't] going to support [him] because [he didn't] want [our] money".
  2. Has used Anti-Semitic and otherwise-bigoted revisionists like Julian Assange (a known bigot) and Vladimir Putin (a goes-without-saying bigot) to get him illegitimately elected and continue to be in the White House? Julian Assange even went as far as to deliberately decontextualize emails about pool parties and other subjects to make the bad-enough-as-is Hillary Clinton look worse than she is—and to decontextualize emails like that might be hilariously pathetic if it didn't affect a base whom was looking for an "anyone but Hillary" excuse. Putin, meanwhile, helped Tr**p with the hacking of voting machines and continues to help him try to obstruct the Russiagate investigation?
  3. Also targeted other groups from the beginning, and used proxies besides Assange and Putin—even ones whom volunteered to be proxies after the fact? Ask, for instance, a certain proxy from ReddIt
  4. Either does nothing when a person receives threat from Tr**pites (and I've received at least three) or even blames the victim of death threats (whether he directly makes those threats or blames someone whom received a threat from at least one Tr**pite? By the way, I'm—so to speak—small potatoes, at least for the most part. Reporters for media such as Politico, "GQ", and "The Atlantic" are not. Incidentally, regardless of whether someone's Jewish or gentile, that's akin to when the Nazis and Soviets were targeting those whom they assumed to be Jewish, isn't it?)?
Then the least that others (including and especially Jews who call D****d Tr**p "President") can do is stop calling D****d Tr**p "President", and Congress will finally remove an illegitimately-elected "President" from an office that he isn't supposed to have.

PS I stated "Communist (including Soviet) Europe" because I had forgotten that Yugoslavia under Iosip Tito was independent of Soviet Russia. Post-Austrohungarian states such as Czechoslovakia (1968-1991) and Hungary (1956-1991, after the failed resistance against the Soviets), and localities in Poland (July 5, 1945-December 25, 1991—at Augustów—or thereabouts—if July 5, 1945 did not seal Poland's fate) were not.

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Re "For Some Moms, The Nest May Never Be Empty"

My dad's 49-year-old cousin Jamie was treated for seizures when he was 1.5 years old, and the doctors at the hospital gave him an overdose of codeine. They didn't wait to check with my granduncle and grandaunt, whom were out on a date night and having my grandaunt's sister babysit Jamie, and this was despite that Jamie is allergic to codeine.

As a result of the codeine overdose, Jamie got Cerebral Palsy and had his development stop right then and there. My granduncle and grandaunt were gracious and merciful about it, understanding that my grandaunt's sister tried her best by taking Jamie to the hospital. They also gave the doctors the benefit of the doubt, and they opted to not put him in a Pennsylvania state hospital or school (and this was three years before Willowbrook in New York was exposed).

I can only imagine the "What might've been?" and "Why did this happen?" questions that they've had, and especially since Granduncle Jim's endured a lot of other losses along with Jamie's loss of a normal life. Even before he lost the chance to see Jamie have a normal life, he lost his uncle (my great-granduncle) Bernie (of blessed memoryy) only years before (and Great-Granduncle Bernie had a botched shrapnel-removal operation that resulted in his having brain damage and resulting regression to a child-like state); and he lost his father (my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki, whom was a very-difficult man and -abusive father) due to Depression-affected suicide in the year after Great-Granduncle Bernie died at the Veteran's Affairs Home and Hospital in Lebanon, Pennsylvania due to a Coronary Occlusion as a result of a Schizophrenia flareup (and perhaps Granduncle Jim and even other relatives—and I myself recently—have wondered if Great-Granduncle Bernie didn't actually have a DVA-forced lobotomy that did damage similar to the damage that Jamie's codeine overdose did).

As for some of the losses after Granduncle Jim's having to deal with Jamie's loss of a normal life:

  1. His brother (my granduncle) Francis (of blessed memory) died at the age of 45 due a heart attack and Alcoholism in 1985.
  2. His brother (my granduncle) Tony died unexpectedly in 2014 at the age of 68—and being almost four years older than him, he expected to be outlived by him.
  3. His daughter, Denise, has never married or had children due to suspending much of her life to help care for her older sibling—so, he's also watched as Denise has lost a chance to live a normal life.
  4. He nearly lost his own life when he could've died due to a fall that he had from a letter in 2007, when he was trying to clean some eggs that some punks had thrown onto his roof. 
As for Grandaunt Annie, she's endured both losses of her own losses that she and Granduncle Jim have shared. Meanwhile, both Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie are in their 70s, and both of them are probably wondering what they're going to do in terms of what happens with Jamie when each of them dies—and what happens, if Denise, who's now in her 40s, and/or other relatives can't and/or won't take care of Jamie after they are gone?

Thus, I think that Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie—and perhaps especially Granduncle Jim—can relate to that feeling of never being able to have an empty nest and especially never being able to watch each of their children live a normal life, let alone having children and grandchildren that'll someday live their own normal lives. 

PS To Miriam Sokol, let me add to the following:

"I didn't know that, for example, my dad's 49-year-old cousin is a "difficult child". But what do I know? That overdose that he had on codeine when he was 1.5 years old must've been his fault. Never mind that the doctors at the hospital didn't wait to check with my granduncle and grandaunt before they tried to treat him due to his seizures."

What I want to add is this:

Jamie is not at all a "difficult child" (and neither is every other child or adult whom's afflicted with especially-severe physical and intellectual disabilities). In fact, Jamie is a very-sweet and -loving person (as I remember from when I and my side of my family would see other sides of the family every year that we could up to Pennsylvania to visit my great-grandmother, of blessed memory).

Monday, September 11, 2017

A Reflection Re "Heaven, 9/11 Memorial Version"






I can only imagine how, I suppose to a similar extent, my paternal grandfather's father and living siblings felt on September 11, 1922 and subsequent days. From what I understand, my great-great-granddad Julian Czarnecki was absolutely no hero—or if he was one, his bad facets outweighed his good ones. Nonetheless, his death must've really weighed on my great-granddad and his living siblings (one of whom would follow her father only slightly over 2.75 years later).

Great-Granddad was going to be 18 that October (and to compound the worst matters in his life, he turned 25 on a day on which a 25th birthday would not be joyous to anyone—Black Thursday). So on that birthday (and subsequent birthdays), he had to remember the loss of his father (with whom he had a conflicted relationship—or at least I'd be surprised if he didn't have a conflicted relationship with him—and subsequent birthdays would become even worse as the years passed and worse events kept happening—in fact, his 35th birthday had the fresh pain of Black Thursday's 10th anniversary and the only-almost-two-months old invasion of Poland).

As for Great-Granddad's youngest sibling, she wasn't yet even nine months old when Great-Great-Granddad died—and the oldest surviving one had, if you count 13 as the bat-mitzvah age, become a bat-mitzvah that year (and she was the one whom followed Great-Great-Granddad into death on June 23, 1925).

At least none of them were around to see 9/11. However, my great-granddad's widow—to whom he was quite abusive, and with whom she obviously had a conflicted relationship—was, and so were four of his five children (One died seven hours after birth, right before the 10th anniversary of his aunt Regina's death.). While I do not know whether my great-grandma ever met her father-in-law or her sister-in-law Regina, I know that she was well aware that September 11th always carried pain for my great-granddad—as carried every October 24th, and not just because of the September 11th before his 18th birthday—and both were born in Jewish homes (he in Anti-Semitic Polish Russia, she in an Anusi home in Ashley-Hanover Township, Pennsylvania) and raised in Anusi homes, and they thus knew the pain of every passing September 11th (on which Great-Great-Granddad may not have died had his family not disowned him for becoming an Anusi) and October 24th.

I can only imagine how the pain of every other September 11th hit her on 9/11, and I never did ask her because I didn't know our family story—not even that we were and are Jews—not to mention that I saw her only once every year from some time in the 90s until 2005, and I was dealing with an abusive dad (It's like the Passover question that the fourth child doesn't ask—he or she doesn't ask because he or she doesn't know how to ask or maybe even to ask at all.).

I wonder what she thought—or at least would've thought—if she heard this song—I also wonder the same about Pop-Pop (whom was sadly, as Granduncle Tony stated, "Like father, like son.") and Granduncle Tony (whom unexpectedly died on July 31 2014, three days after what would've been his mother's 101st birthday). I also certainly wonder what Great-Granddad would've thought and what Granduncle Red (Francis "Red" Czarnecki, whom died in 1985) would've thought (BTW, he was called "Red" because of his red hair—which, as I later found out, is, so to speak, a dead giveaway of if someone is Jewish in Poland, as is Brown hair for someone whom's a Brown-haired Jew, as Ethnic Poles are indigenously light-haired and light-eyed).