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Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grief. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 26, 2017

Re "For Some Moms, The Nest May Never Be Empty"

My dad's 49-year-old cousin Jamie was treated for seizures when he was 1.5 years old, and the doctors at the hospital gave him an overdose of codeine. They didn't wait to check with my granduncle and grandaunt, whom were out on a date night and having my grandaunt's sister babysit Jamie, and this was despite that Jamie is allergic to codeine.

As a result of the codeine overdose, Jamie got Cerebral Palsy and had his development stop right then and there. My granduncle and grandaunt were gracious and merciful about it, understanding that my grandaunt's sister tried her best by taking Jamie to the hospital. They also gave the doctors the benefit of the doubt, and they opted to not put him in a Pennsylvania state hospital or school (and this was three years before Willowbrook in New York was exposed).

I can only imagine the "What might've been?" and "Why did this happen?" questions that they've had, and especially since Granduncle Jim's endured a lot of other losses along with Jamie's loss of a normal life. Even before he lost the chance to see Jamie have a normal life, he lost his uncle (my great-granduncle) Bernie (of blessed memoryy) only years before (and Great-Granduncle Bernie had a botched shrapnel-removal operation that resulted in his having brain damage and resulting regression to a child-like state); and he lost his father (my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki, whom was a very-difficult man and -abusive father) due to Depression-affected suicide in the year after Great-Granduncle Bernie died at the Veteran's Affairs Home and Hospital in Lebanon, Pennsylvania due to a Coronary Occlusion as a result of a Schizophrenia flareup (and perhaps Granduncle Jim and even other relatives—and I myself recently—have wondered if Great-Granduncle Bernie didn't actually have a DVA-forced lobotomy that did damage similar to the damage that Jamie's codeine overdose did).

As for some of the losses after Granduncle Jim's having to deal with Jamie's loss of a normal life:

  1. His brother (my granduncle) Francis (of blessed memory) died at the age of 45 due a heart attack and Alcoholism in 1985.
  2. His brother (my granduncle) Tony died unexpectedly in 2014 at the age of 68—and being almost four years older than him, he expected to be outlived by him.
  3. His daughter, Denise, has never married or had children due to suspending much of her life to help care for her older sibling—so, he's also watched as Denise has lost a chance to live a normal life.
  4. He nearly lost his own life when he could've died due to a fall that he had from a letter in 2007, when he was trying to clean some eggs that some punks had thrown onto his roof. 
As for Grandaunt Annie, she's endured both losses of her own losses that she and Granduncle Jim have shared. Meanwhile, both Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie are in their 70s, and both of them are probably wondering what they're going to do in terms of what happens with Jamie when each of them dies—and what happens, if Denise, who's now in her 40s, and/or other relatives can't and/or won't take care of Jamie after they are gone?

Thus, I think that Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie—and perhaps especially Granduncle Jim—can relate to that feeling of never being able to have an empty nest and especially never being able to watch each of their children live a normal life, let alone having children and grandchildren that'll someday live their own normal lives. 

PS To Miriam Sokol, let me add to the following:

"I didn't know that, for example, my dad's 49-year-old cousin is a "difficult child". But what do I know? That overdose that he had on codeine when he was 1.5 years old must've been his fault. Never mind that the doctors at the hospital didn't wait to check with my granduncle and grandaunt before they tried to treat him due to his seizures."

What I want to add is this:

Jamie is not at all a "difficult child" (and neither is every other child or adult whom's afflicted with especially-severe physical and intellectual disabilities). In fact, Jamie is a very-sweet and -loving person (as I remember from when I and my side of my family would see other sides of the family every year that we could up to Pennsylvania to visit my great-grandmother, of blessed memory).

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

What The Outsider Looking In On Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's Deaths Knows For Sure

  • A strong mother-daughter bond like they had cannot withstand the death of the daughter without the mother's death soon thereafter.
  • Given Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's mother-daughter bond, Debbie Reynolds' death certificate ought to read something like:
"Cause Of Death: Stroke
"Due to: Medical distress
"Due to: Mental and emotional distress
"Due to: Recent death of daughter
"Contributing factor: Compromised cerebral artery
"Contributing factor: Age of decedent"
  • Debbie Reynolds was 84 and lost her 60-year-old and only daughter, and firstborn child a day before. She also lost a colleague and frequent collaborator when she outlived her only daughter and firstborn child.
Meanwhile, keep Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's loved ones and friends—including Todd Fisher, Billie Lourd, and Gary Fisher—and everyone else whom's particularly affected by Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's deaths in your thoughts and prayers.

Tuesday, March 22, 2016

Originally On Writerbeat: Just Like Going To a Normative Jewish Funeral And Saying, "Do You Know Yeshua?"...

Some are using the Daesh terror attack against Brussels to push their own agendas. One of the agendas is Muslimophobia*. Another is Trumpism. Still another is blaming the EU for allowing in Middle Eastern refugees—aka, victim shaming—and still another is xenophobia and racism**.

Now is the time to simply comfort, console, grieve with, and support the Belgians—just like my role at a Normative (i.e., Non-Messianic) Jewish funeral would be to comfort fellow mourners among Tzion v'Yerushalayim, not ask "Do you know Yeshua?" or "Did [the decedent] know Yeshua?" or "Since [the decedent] died without knowing Yeshua, [he or she] is not in Heaven. Would you like to know how to stay out of Hell and avoid [the decedent]'s fate?"

Those who incite Muslimophobia, use Belgium's 9/11 to promote Donald Trump, or engage in shaming the Belgians and stereotyping are no better than, e.g., Jesus For Jesus under opportunistic and Holocaust-exploiting David Brickner or people whom go onto the comments section of "Times of Israel" articles about murder victims to proselytize—whom would similar to me were I to start giving the whole "Let me tell you about Yeshua" schpiel at, e.g., an Orthodox Jewish funeral (which is akin to what has happened in "Times of Israel" comments sections, with one incident in which a friend of a decedent's family friend had to get involved and ask people to refrain from proselytizing).


*Note that I did not say "Islamophobia". I grant that moderate Muslims are really Reform/Liberal/secular Mohammedans—and Jews in Poland were called "Mosaics", similarly and by the way; so, with all due respect, get over your political correctness. By the way, you could call Daesh, Al Qadea, etc. Orthodox Mohammedans or Ultra-Orthodox Mohammedans, since Mohammed was a violent man. By alienating Reform/Liberal/Secular Mohammedans ("moderate Muslims") are you going to help fight against Orthodox Mohammedism and Ultra-Orthodox Mohammedism?

**Stereotyping all Middle Eastern refugees as Mohammedans is wrong and may even be Anti Semitic in some cases, though you can be my guest if you want to risk labeling Jadid al-Islam (Mizrahi Anusim) and other Non Mohammedans, including Egyptian Jews and gentile Coptic Christians.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

I'm Going To Get Into Trouble For Republishing A Shiva Notice, And...

In Great-Grandma's words, "I want to talk about it." I am not repeating the family patterns again. Some Czerneckis may cover anything up, not talk about certain matters, etc.. So, let me begin by republishing of the shiva notice by saying the following:

My cousins are not wanting us to talk about my aunt's suicide attempt. They also held her back from confronting my dad and his parents. Is that Dad lied when he said that Aunt Mary wanted to see him and her parents possible? Yes. However, Great-Grandma (as Aunt Mary herself told me, and as she herself witnessed when Great-Grandma told her and Uncle Gary to leave the room so that she could talk to Pop, Great-Grandma) was not adverse to confronting Pop-Pop before she died; so, I could believe that Aunt Mary wanted to see her brother and parents, and confront them.

We Czerneckis don't talk about that stuff according to family pattern; and my cousins are repeating the family pattern. Also, one of them is mad that they went to talk to his dad (my ex uncle) about something regarding my aunt. Understandable, but then let your mom give them Hell, K. (and you know which one you are).

I do not know how she is, by the way. All I know is that she's in "rehab"--whatever that actually means, now that I think about it. It could be rehab and recovery; it could be an institution (like Mom suggested); it could be God knows what else. Besides, I'd like to see the suicide note and know what I did to affect her to try to commit suicide--I know that I had a part in it. Did I talk about the family issues too much? Or not enough?

Regardless of what Mom says, I know that I had something to do with it. Like I said, "Did I talk about the family issues too much? Or not enough?" Either way, I'm just glad that I ended up sitting shiva for her when I did. When I couldn't reach her and she completely cut everyone off (and I thought that she was cutting just me off for no reason or something), I sat shiva for an hour symbolically. Little did I know that it would end up meaning something.

She doesn't even know that I did, that I sat shiva, though--or if she does, maybe that's what drove her to do it. I'd like to know, and I was of course angry that she cut me off without telling me why. How was I supposed to know what was going on? Also, do you think that, that I broke down on Monday partly over your mother's suicide attempt is fair, K. and K.? You're not the only ones grieving.

Shiva Notice For Aunt and Ashkenazi Levite Republished

HURSDAY, MAY 23, 2013

Shiva Notice For Aunt and Ashkenazi Levite

Mary Joan Miskell nee Czarnecki, born May 14, 1962 (the 18th Gregorian Anniversary of the founding of her homeland). Born among the Jewish Diasporan community and in Glen Burnie, Maryland, Mrs. Miskell was the daughter of John "Jack" and Joan (nee Gajdos) Czarnecki. Through Joan's maternal grandmother's family (the Foczkos, among the Jewish Diasporan and Crypto-Jewish communities in Poland, Slovakian Hungary, and the United States), Mary (who was named in part for her Levitical grandmother, Marysia "Mary" Gaydos nee Rusnak, a daughter of Juliana "Julia" Rusnak nee Foczkova) was a Matrilineal Levite.

Born into a Crypto-Jewish Roman Catholic family, Mrs. Miskell left Roman Catholicism after her son Ryan (by whom she has been predeceased since May 10, 1991) died. She was unaware that she was a Jewish Christian until the 2000s, and remained in Jesus even after finding out that she was Jewish. She even sent two of her surviving children to a private Christian college.

Last known to have resided in Leesburg, Virginia, she was considered as though she was deceased on May 20, 2013 (Sivan 9-10, 5773; Shavu'ot 5773). Due to circumstances concerning her up to Shavu'ot 5773, whether she was even still physically alive was unable to be established. Because of the circumstances, she is considered deceased for the time being and sorely missed.

Besides her son Ryan, among those who preceded her in passing into the World To Come are her beloved paternal grandmother, Mary Theresa Czarnecki nee Trudnak (the daughter of Mihaly "Michael Trudniak" and Anna Amalia [nee Munkova; Hanna Amal'yah bat-Sz'mu'el-ben-Shlomo] Trudnyak]). Among those who mourn the loss of her are her niece Nicole Czarnecki of Baltimore, Maryland.

Shiva will be sat and "Kaddish" recited in a Messianic style at the home of Nicole Czarnecki on May 25 (Sivan 15). Pray for the Czarnecki and related families at this difficult time.
Mary with her grandmother Mary Trudnak Czarnecki on Easter 1962 or 1963.
Mary Joan Czarnecki Miskell (Miriam Yohanna HaLevit bat-Yohanahn v'Yohanna), z'l (May 14, 1962 - considered May 20, 2013).
 Nicole Czarnecki    


Monday, May 27, 2013

Sitting Shiva Isn't Always About Physical Death

I know this because I'm well read enough and have delved enough into my own family history. Shiva can be sat when:

  1. A child or other relatives intermarries (This happened to the late Ruth McBride Jordan, nee Rachel Deborah Shilsky [Ruchel Dwajra Zylska] when she was even just in a relationship with Dennis McBride.). This normally doesn't happen if a child marries solely a "shvartze"--as the Yiddish pejorative was thrown about back then. This happens if a child marries any gentile who doesn't convert or is not accepted for conversion into Judaism.
  2. A child or other relative converts out of particularly Non-Messianic Judaism into--e.g.--Roman Catholicism (or other so-called "denominations of Messianic Judaism [Christianity]"), even if they remain Non Messianic and are merely Anusim. Sometimes, shiva isn't even sat and there's a rowdy hatefest where the convert's "death" or death is celebrated (See "Evel Rabbati", which takes work to find but is worth fighting. As the Anti Semites like to tripe on about and the Karaites note, this is what the P'rushiyin do not want you to know.). The P'rushiyin particularly hated Jesus, and revisionists like to pretend that another Yeshua is mentioned, but all one has to do is look at Bava Metzi'a 59b and the New Testament to get the idea pretty quickly.
  3. A child or other relative acts so despicably that the circumstances play out as if he or she is dead, would rather be dead, or would be better off as such.
  4. A child or other relative is in circumstances in he or she is dead, would rather be dead, or would be better off as such. For example, a child who is inevitably going to die of terminal cancer and not be miraculously healed may have shiva sat for him ot her early on.
Shiva can always be reversed for the living. For example, Ruth McBride Jordan did get back in touch with one of her cousins who she hadn't seen in years and who was in California. Even relatives who had sat shiva for her (viz. her aunts Mary and Bernadette) had contact with her, even though that contact was telling her that they sat shiva for her and she was to stay out of their lives (which Mary did)--as well as slamming the door in her face when she reached out to them for help (which Bernadette did).

In my own family's case, I have been in touch with Rusnak relatives before. Also, the Czerneckis did write to us once to ask for the deed to be changed. Shiva will also be reversed for Aunt Mary if she ever reaches out to me again (See #3 to give you an idea of what she did. All that I'll say is that, that took hutzpah to cut me off without at least telling me why she would--at least Ruth McBride Jordan's aunt Mary told her that she cut her off and gave her a hint as to why she did.).

Shiva cannot be reversed for the dead (unless they of course miraculously rise again).








Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I've Blogged About This Before, But...

While (meanwhile) this (with the included YouTube video) is my first blog entry in which I haven't looked like a mess in a while, I--speaking of messes--would like to say that I take comfort in the messes and losses, and other pains with which people have affected me--and with which they tried to effect the worst in me and against me. But as Eleanor Roosevelt recognized (though I honestly don't want to credit an Anti Semite like her for anything), nobody can make anybody feel inferior without his or her consent. 

So--for example, and each of you know who you are--,your attempt at manipulating me by cutting off our friendship didn't work. Your telling me to "shut up and grow up" affected me only block you and never want to talk to you again--at least for the meantime. Your trying to spy on me and threatening of others affected me only to speak out more against you.

Unlike you--even if I am looking in only from the outside, in which case I was in only one of the cases--, I did my homework and--by doing my homework--obtained evidence by which I was able to back up what I said. For you--the one in the first case--, you showed me what kind of person you really are and how you would rather put what you want to believe and family over what is the truth and over G-d. As the Messiah who (as far as I can tell) you refuse to believe, anyway, said, "“No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”" You'd rather have this world than "a hundredfold now in this time—houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions—and in the age to come, eternal life." What else can I say that I don't need your friendship or want it if you're going to be like that, and that your reward is with you--since you're of the world, and you've chosen the world as your reward?

As for the two of you with whom I was on the inside, I said about one of you that you don't "know how corrupt the Czarneckis et. al. are, and [you don't know] who are of the righteous remnant among them." As for the other, "If you think that you can hurt me or anybody else but yourselves in the end (except for those whom, perhaps, "you make...twice as much...son[s] of hell as yourselves"), you're wrong." 

I take comfort in the messes and losses with which you (among others) have tried to effect the worst in and against me because I know that out of them:

"Who has believed our report? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?" You obviously haven't; so you obviously won't believe One Who is Greater than me and every one of you, and you--unless retribution for me does come and you are affected to change your ways because of the retribution against you--won't believe (or rather, want to believe) when I am speaking the truth about anything else, let alone what I've already spoken about.

That retribution, I believe, may come in the form of when someone that I warned you about betrays a loved one of yours or even you, when you find out something that I even hinted at and you'll wish you knew then what you now know, or when you find out that I was right about something else. Then, as I said, I may be gone and you might even be gone, and then you'll really have missed your chance to thank me and change your ways.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

I'm Used To Loss, But...

No matter how many or what losses I go through, they're still (at least to some extent) painful. I'm not perfect--I've deserved some of my losses--but some of my losses come because of people who don't want to understand me, understand the truth about someone or something, etc..

My most-recent loss, I guessed, was coming. I prayed that it wouldn't, and was hurt and shocked when it came. I'm not going to try to restore that loss--maybe I'll pray that it can be restored, but I'll be okay if it isn't. Maybe I'll be even better off if it isn't restored.

As I stated; I'm not perfect and I've deserved some of my losses, though some of my losses come because of people who don't want to understand me, or the truth about another person or a matter, or whatever else. In fact; some losses--even though painful--are, so to speak, badges of honor. For example, I got blocked on Twitter by Toby Keith's worldly son for speaking the truth about his sister's and dad's fans and "friends"--and as the Bible says:

18 “If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you. 19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yet because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. 20 Remember the word that I said to you, ‘A servant is not greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will also persecute you. If they kept My word, they will keep yours also.

Also, as an old saying goes, some people are in your life for only a season. As another old saying goes, what doesn't kill you may make you stronger--though it doesn't always make you stronger. I should know--for example, my Category Three brainbleed that resulted in my Diplegic-Spastic Cerebral Palsy certainly did not make me physically stronger; even though it made me spiritually stronger, but only through grace. 

For another example, look at cigarettes and marijuana--they may not kill you (at least right away), but they certainly don't make you stronger. My mom's mom smoked for over 50 years, and she certainly wasn't made stronger by smoking--in fact, she still has emphysema. Also, Willie Nelson smokes marijuana, and he's becoming weaker every year--some would even say that the killing of his brain cells is what's making him more liberal, as the old joke about drug users (which has a ring of truth to it) goes: look at the Anti-Vietnam, pot-smoking hippies in the 1960s and 1970s, for instance.


In conclusion, I'm used to loss--whether a loss that I have is due to my imperfection or due to someone hating the truth about me or someone else, or something. While loss may not always make me stronger (at least initially), I'd rather have what losses make me stronger than what gains and losses make me weaker. For example, I'd rather have loss for speaking the truth about users, abusers, and other bad company, and matters regarding politics, drugs, and other subjects. If keeping my soul costs me the world who hates me, anyway, so be that I keep my soul and lose the world. After all, "what will it profit a man if he gainthe whole world, and loses his own soul?" (Mark 8:36) Furthermore, "what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ  and be found in Him, not having my own righteousness, which is from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ, the righteousness which is from God by faith;  that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, if, by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead."

By the way, if you haven't accepted Jesus (Yeshua), you are still under Torah--"Now we know that whatever the law says, it says to those who are under the law, that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God Therefore by the deeds of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight, for by the law is the knowledge of sin." Torah has gone out to all the ends of the earth, and even gentiles are now under Torah or grace. "Do we then make void the law through faith? Certainly not! On the contrary, we establish the law." The established law is grace, and Torah for those not under grace. "“Behold, the days are coming, says the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah—  not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day that I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt, My covenant which they broke, though I was a husband to them, says the Lord...If those ordinances depart [f]rom before Me, says the Lord[t]hen the seed of Israel shall also cease [f]rom being a nation before Me forever.""