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Showing posts with label updates. Show all posts
Showing posts with label updates. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

A Planned Book On Camille, When "Mimi" Doesn't Spend Enough Time With Camille, Etc..

With the second edition of Reilly's book out, "Momma" gave away another copy (and as she's said, she really is working on trying to become an author)—and she polled to see if people would read a book on Camille (and "Auntie Nicole" made the giveaway a "no vote, no entry" one).The results are as follows:

If Nicole Czarnecki were to write a book on Camille, would you buy or try to win it?

More likely than not16%
More unlikely than likely5%

Incidentally, "Auntie Nicole" fails to understand why anyone who wouldn't read the book on Camille would enter the giveaway but for a few reasons such as:

  1. He or she likes trying to get free books, maybe even—in this case—to resell it offline if it's a paperback book, e.g.—and yes, there really are people whom hate "Auntie Nicole" that much (notwithstanding that, e.g., Reilly is currently napping by her "Momma"—at least some sentient creature loves "Momma" on a consistent basis, compared to even many fellow human sentient creatures in her life). If he or she also tried to get the book to resell it, or—on the other hand—get it just to make fun of it and/or have his friends make fun of it, that would not surprise Reilly's "Momma"—even "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" made fun of it at first. 
  2. He or she is a big fan of Reilly and not Camille—poor Camille. 🙁
  3. He or she wants to get a free book for a friend.
Meanwhile, "Auntie Nicole" can relate in filial and non-filial ways to Camille's filial pain—even "Mimi" doesn't spend enough time with Camille (Who shouldn't own a puppy, by the way "Mom-Mom"? Even "Mom-Mom" has acknowledged that "Mimi" doesn't prioritize Camille as much as she should, and how hurtful "Mom-Mom" can be only adds to when "Momma"'s Jirish temper can be affected.). As a result of "Mimi" not prioritizing Camille as much as she should, Camille can get sleepy and feel depressed—and as recently as Sunday, this happened—and Cam wakes, perks, and lights up when "Mimi" comes into the room to actually spend time with her and, e.g., puts that darn Kindle or laptop down for once—even under guilt of being teased that, e.g., "Auntie Nicole" will become Cam's "Momma" if "Mimi" doesn't come downstairs from a long-enough nap to spend time with Cam.

In a similar way, "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma"'s loneliness and confusion re what exactly Camille's possible "uncle" and Reilly's possible "Daddy" wants continues to affect una noche oscura del alma en parte de su vida—a dark night of the soul in part of her life—as she is trying to be patient and wait on God to have Reilly's possible "Daddy" reach out to her—and patience in general is all the harder for a person with OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD to learn.

How fitting, by the way, that a converso coined that term!

Monday, February 20, 2017

When Reilly Brings Out An Ugly Side—e.g., The Jirish Temper—Of "Momma"

Give how Reilly caused a panic attack yesterday; take that she got into the bathroom trash again today and got "Momma" into trouble for it—this notwithstanding that "Auntie Michelle" left the bathroom door open again and that Reilly knows better; and add your understanding of the panic attack and trouble because of "Auntie Michelle" and "Reilly" to, e.g., the comments that maybe "Momma" shouldn't have a puppy because of C.P., etc—not to mention that she "shouldn't have kids" because Reilly can bring out, e.g., an irritably and a Jirishtemper to simmer, well, and/or flare up in her—and you will understand why "Momma" is less strong for Reilly than she can and needs to be. You will also understand why that Jirish temper quite a bit more often simmers, wells, and/or flares up in her.

By the way and just to clarify, "Momma" has never hit or otherwise abused Reilly.

*✡️ and ☘️

Sunday, February 19, 2017

"Momma"'s Near Panic Attack (Still Occurring As Of 1:58 PM EST), Trying To Take A Quiz, Etc..

Because of Reilly's barking and wanting scritches while "Momma" was taking scritches during a quiz for an online class which is taking, "Momma"—not withstanding that she did give Reilly scritches and persisted when Reilly wanted more scritches and had to wait to get more scritches after the quiz—got especially frustrated when Reilly barked and had no help from "Mom-Mom" despite that the quiz was timed for 60 minutes and "Momma" couldn't just get up to get the spray bottle—with"Mom-Mom" in fact categorically refusing to help "Momma" when "Momma" asked for help (something like, "I'm not doing that"—i.e., using the spray bottle or rolling Reilly over. "Mom-Mom" was also causing distracting noise by vacuuming after cleaning out the pellet stove—so, that really didn't help!)

...2:07 going into 2:08 PM, by the way, still has "Momma" having an audible heart rate, needing to really inhale for breath, etc. (2:09 PM, and Reilly is barking loudly again, and Cam is, too—still no rolling over or spray bottle, and let's see if "Mom-Mom" actually carries out her ultimatum to use the muzzle! 2:11, and like "Mom-Mom"'s simply telling Reilly, "Quiet", etc. is helping as Reilly continues to bark, stopping and starting—and 2:12 PM, and Reilly starts barking again as Camille barks! "Mom-Mom"'s closing the window is not helping, by the way!...

Does "Momma" really need to really emphasize, by the way, why she needs a helpmate for herself and a "Daddy" for Reilly, by the way? Is asking Reilly's possible "Daddy" to reach out to "Momma" too much—especially as her heart rate remains high (and reminiscent of when she had to go to the ER because "Auntie Michelle" scared her and effected her heart rate to go up to 133 beats per minute in later 2013, bruxism flared up, etc.?

By the way (at 2:17 PM), "Mom-Mom" finally got the spray bottle for "Momma" in case Reilly barks again—and "Momma" almost had to use it at 2:18 PM! Also, the spray bottle continues to be on standby for use as of 2:21 PM, and "Momma"'s ITB Pump hurt for a while at 2:21 PM due to an IBS flareup, the near panic attack, and stress now!

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Reilly Could've Committed Negligent "Matricide" Today, And A Could-Be-Missed Opportunity?

For Reilly to be a loving "granddogter" to her "Mom-Mom" was fine for her, and to almost kill "Momma" today seemed better—this time, Reilly's getting the pink leash stuck in the crate entailed getting it stuck and tangled in one of the wheels to the point at which the cart is still basically rendered unhelpful for "Momma"—and Camille started it by running off of the porch while "Auntie Nicole" was going to get Reilly's leash unstuck from one being wrapped around on the sides of the cart.

"Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" ended up having to crawl on the ground to get back in the house (and roll over each of the girls and ask "Who rules?"), hold the girls' leashes while she crawled, and hold her left shoe and wait to put it on until she got onto the porch. Meanwhile, the left foot being bare (as has frequently happened when the right foot has been bare due to, e.g., Reilly not waiting for "Momma" as she climbs up the stairs) was the usual insulting reminderand of course without the hopeful side of the whole insult-to-injury ordeal. Of course, "Reilly's 'Momma'" remains the answer to the question of who misses an opportunity if "Momma" does decide to give up on waiting on Reilly's possible "Daddy".

Speaking of risk-and-reward and cost-and-benefit-analysis, by the way, that's part of why "Momma" tried to get the leash out of the cart wheel for as long as she could—the mud on her pant knees, shoes, and coat sleeves demonstrate that she had to take the dreaded risk of getting down on the ground and crawling instead of continue to try to get the leash out of the wheel and then instead of maneuver the cart with only three wheels available. 

Saturday, February 11, 2017

"Momma"'s Exhaustion Again & Sweet Reilly, More Bathroom-Trash Antics, Excitement Over A Treat, And Still Waiting On Reilly's "Daddy"

Here's the promised post:

  1. "Momma" fell asleep briefly on the floor last night because she had a headache, fatigue, and a need to lay down last night. She was going to take Reilly upstairs a few minutes after Reilly went "potty", and a few minutes turned into a few hours. Laying by her feet that whole time, meanwhile and as she saw when she woke up, was Reilly.
  2. When someone else left the bathroom door open by mistake, only later did "Momma" catch that Reilly had taken the open door as an invitation to play with the bathroom trash—for which "Momma" scolded Reilly!
  3. As for this morning, something else excited Reilly—that something else was one of her favorite kinds of treats, and it got her excited enough to the point that she could've choked on the first treat alone—and "Mom-Mom" had to help calm her down!
  4. Meanwhile, "Momma" stayed up late on Thursday again still wondering and heartbroken for her and Reilly's sakes—and as "Momma" stated, she's is still waiting on Reilly's "Daddy" and wanting to know what the possible one wants 💔. If he is who she thinks he is, she wants to tell him that he doesn't have to be afraid to reach out to her—after all, Reilly wants to meet him 🙂

Short Preview of the Next Post: "Momma"'s Exhaustion Again & Sweet Reilly, More Bathroom-Trash Antics, Excitement Over A Treat, And Still Waiting On Reilly's "Daddy"

  1. A slight cold catches up to "Momma" as Reilly lays by her feet, and blessing oil becomes a defiant treat.
  2. When someone leaves the bathroom door open by mistake, Reilly takes it as a play-with-the-bathroom-trash invitation.
  3. Let's just say that Reilly got very excited over one of her favorite treats this morning and almost choked.
  4. Of course, as usual, part of why "Momma" often stays up too late and often her and Reilly's detriment is still waiting on Reilly's "Daddy" and wanting to know what the possible one wants 💔.

Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Camille Being A Literal B****, Reilly Putting "Momma" & Herself In Danger, Updates, And Still Waiting On Reilly's "Daddy"

  1. Just now, Reilly sat on "Mom-Mom"'s lap—and only to literally get b**** at by Camille—Camille decided to aggressively growl and even (according to Camille's "Mimi") bite Reilly. Of course, "Mom-Mom" and "Mimi" soundly reprimanded Camille.
  2. Reilly's pink extendable leash is still in the backyard with "Momma"'s cart in which it is stuck—and Reilly is very lucky that neither she nor "Momma" were hurt when the cart fell and when one of the solar lamps' lids fell onto the ground. To make a long story short, Reilly decided that not finding her "potty spot", coming when she was called, listening when she was told "No pull", or avoiding "nasties" was okay—and the only way that "Momma" got Reilly back up on the porch is by pulling on the rope of the extendable pink leash—and Reilly is also lucky that she has a harness and not a collar to which to attach her leash.
  3. The paperback edition of Reilly's book is finally on Amazon!
  4. In the midst of all this, meanwhile..."Momma" still has a broken-as-Hell heart. As much as Reilly is her "Momma"'s filial "Valentine", she can't be "Momma"'s overall "Valentine"—besides, as today's incident demonstrates, Reilly needs a "Daddy" whom can be a "Valentine" for "Momma" and help "Momma" reign her in a little bit—and "Momma" hasn't given up on whom she thinks might be Reilly's "Daddy" down the road if God wills.

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

A Literal Bone To Pick With Reilly, An Update On Reilly's Book, And Still Waiting On Reilly's "Daddy"

To make a long story short—and per the video—Reilly decided that a bone of a vulture-eaten squirrel that fatally encountered a car two days ago (per "Mom-Mom") was both delicious and enough to keep in her mouth with a fight, complete with growling and biting—needlessly to say, Reilly lost the fight to keep the bone:

(By the way, as "Momma"'s been typing, "Auntie Michelle"'s been scolding Reilly for eating "partially-produced 'bunny beans'" with "the culprit in the yard" while being outside to "go potty".).

Meanwhile, Reilly's book has sold nine copies, and plenty more free ones have been given away and claimed (Yep! "Momma"'s trying to promote it as best as she can). Part of why "Momma" wrote the book as well is because she wants to make enough to (and she hasn't yet made anything off the current book; so she can't) provide for Reilly as much as she—as a "Momma" with disabilities—can.

While "Momma"'s been promoting the book, meanwhile, she's also been failing Reilly again—as a heartbroken "Momma" stares at her heartbroken and waiting-patiently-for-"Momma"-to-wrap-up "dogter", she thinks about why she's been up—partly given that Valentine's Day coming up, she guesses, she's been thinking about a helpmate for herself and a "Daddy" for Reilly (and especially who she thinks that he might be).

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

Somewhat Offbeat: Poor Reilly Is Exhausted Because Of "Momma" Dealing With A Difficult Time, Etc.

As "Momma" continues to deal with life closing in on her and Reilly, Reilly is being affected again—poor baby! Contrary to what "Mom-Mom" alleges, the case isn't that "Momma" doesn't care about Reilly—the case is actually that she does care about Reilly and wants a "Daddy" for Reilly and a helpmate for Reilly.

As she has written:
"Then have people wonder why you sit up alone at night thinking about both your future and poor Ri's future, despite that you should be taking Reilly back upstairs and going "night nights"—and you're amazed that even reading at night doesn't always help you fall asleep or sleep well enough, and you also know that Reilly's patiently waiting for you to finish reading before turning the reading light off affects her to be a little more sleepy during the day."

She was able to figure out that exhaustion is affecting Reilly and was affecting her to, as Mom-Mom stated in regards to how Reilly was affected to, have "been acting funny this morning." Mom-Mom, of course, lectured her when she figured why Reilly was "acting funny"—which had nothing to do with the uncooked quinoa noodle that she ate and refused to drop yesterday.

Meanwhile, part of why "Momma" is exhausted, etc. is because she feels that someone who could be Reilly's future "Daddy" may be—so to speak—sending her funny signals right now, and she just wants to know what he's thinkingis he going to be Reilly's "Daddy" in the future, and does he even want to be Reilly's "Daddy" and "Momma"'s helpmate?

"Momma" and Reilly are also not getting any younger—in fact, Thanksgiving falls right in between when "Momma" will be 26 ⅚ years old and Reilly 2⅔ years old—not to mention that "Momma" doesn't want to end up with the kind of disappointment and heartbreak that Gwen Ifill (of blessed memory) had:

"Ifill never married not had any children. When asked about in 2008, she still seemed hopeful. 'I don't know why I'm not married,' she told TIME. 'I just know I will be, so I don't sweat it.'" 
"Sadly she never got the chance to fulfill that wish. She died on Monday - just two days before she was scheduled to receive a prestigious award, the John Chancellor Award, at a Columbia University ceremony, reports."

She also feels like a female equivalent of Nick Carraway, whom F. Scott Fitzgerald made to have his full birthday in September (with no connection to Reilly's half birthday, of course):

"After a moment Tom got up and began wrapping the unopened bottle of whiskey in the towel.
'Want any of this stuff? Jordan? . . . Nick?
"I didn’t answer.
“'Nick?' He asked again.
“'Want any?”
“'No . . . I just remembered that to-day’s my birthday.'
"I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a new decade...
"Thirty — the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair." 

Amazingly, "Momma" hasn't died of exhaustion and loneliness yet—and even more amazingly (and miraculously), Reilly hasn't died due to her "Momma"-affected exhaustionmaybe there's hope for "Momma" and Reilly

Monday, October 3, 2016

Offbeat: Yom Teru'ah For Reilly And Camille, And #NationalBoyfriendDay

Ha! Doesn't "Momma" wish for at least Reilly's sake that Reilly had a "Daddy"? May Yehovah (im yirtzeh Yehovah) provide a Yom Teru'ah miracle for Yom Teru'ah and within the beginning of October, and for #NationalBoyfriendDay—after all, the Seventh Month of 5776, and the 10th month of the Gregorian year and "Momma"'s 26th year just begun. Also, Reilly's going to be two years and seven months old on October 25th—both "Momma" and Reilly are getting only older, and "Momma" has lived almost a third of her life expectancy (which is 83, which she calculated yesterday) while Reilly has lived about 17% of a normal Maltipoo's maximum life expectancy (which is 15 years), although—im yirtzeh Yehovah—"Momma" will try to get Reilly to live at least until "Momma" is 60 (at which age, Biblically speaking, she could be expected to be a widow at minimum) and Reilly is 34—since Reilly does eat almost-exclusively organic and natural food and treats, gets regular exercise, etc.—although Reilly may not be able to even eat or get exercise if "Momma" is left single and unable to go anywhere. Besides, "Momma" can't live with "Mom-Mom" forever—and "Momma" thinks about all of this quite frequently for both her sake and Reilly's sake.

As for Yom Teru'ah, meanwhile:

  1. Camille did not like the shofar sounds at first—and "Auntie Nicole" will, i"y"Y, post videos of Camille's reaction to the shofar sounds later.
  2. Camille and Reilly did enjoy some honey for the night of Yom Teru'ah—today, i"y"Y, they will each get an apple piece and honey (Don't tell "Mom-Mom"!)
  3. Yom Teru'ah has sadly been quiet and not as much of a yom l'simcha for Reilly or Cam, or for anybody else—life has been rough for a while. 
Reilly and "Momma" wish everyone a Teru'ah Tovah, by the way. 

Saturday, September 17, 2016

A Weekly Visit To Camille's Maternal Sister Shelby, And...

"Momma" finally told Reilly whom she thinks—or at least hopes—that her "Daddy" might eventually be, God willing, and Reilly wanted to hear who he might be and seemed to approve*—she licked "Momma" twice and touched her hand with her nose once, and after her ears moved when "Momma" asked if she wanted to hear—and this was while "Momma" was stretching and giving Reilly belly rubs.

Before that, "Momma" on a walk and visited Camille's maternal sister Shelby, a daughter of Tootsie and a Maltese named "Booby". Shelby will be 11 months old shortly before Camille turns 1.5 years old and Reilly turns 2.5 years old, and she has already grown so much within her first year and developed a bond with Camille and her twice-removed cousin Reilly.

Shelby when I first met her

Shelby today...

*If any guy who can and wants to know whether he is the person in question, he may feel free to contact Reilly's "Momma" on Facebook, via e-mail, etc.—if he emails, he should put something like "Re About Whom Reilly's Daddy" might be in the subject line. 

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Good Reilly, Bad Reilly (Or Good Reilly Even When She's Behaving Badly)—And Life-Saving Reilly

Last week and on Sunday, "Momma" was feeling like no longer being around. When "Momma" asked God why she should keep being around—since being disabled and having mental illnesses, and thus still single and unemployed, makes her feel worthless—Reilly literally saved her "Momma"'s life. Particularly on Sunday, Reilly must've heeded God when she licked "Momma"'s hand about five times—since "Momma" asked that Reilly's licking her hand would be a sign that she should still be around.

However, Reilly isn't always that good—for example, she again burst out the back door to eat mulch. This time, she burst while "Momma" was carefully carrying a salad bowl out onto the back-porch table. Of course, "Mom-Mom" blamed "Momma" and even had to use one of the spray bottles to try to get Reilly out of the mulch—never mind that Reilly was told to stay multiple times and engaged in behavior that could've easily caused "Momma" to fall, stab herself with a Cutco knife, or have the bowl shatter and put Reilly and Camille in danger of eating salad with dressing that had garlic and onions.

Perhaps, meanwhile, an irony that God used Reilly to save "Momma" two days before she could've caused "Momma" to endanger lives exists. 

Monday, August 15, 2016

Must Love Reilly (And "Momma")—And Why Does "Momma" Blog About Reilly Needing A "Daddy" So Much?

"Momma" has already made quite a few of the reasons clear. For example:

  1. Given some of what "Momma" has to endure—such as Cerebral Palsy and Depression
  2. Given that "Momma" already has trouble being a good "Momma" to Reilly, going through life alone and lonely—especially this day and age, in which events such as a detrimental Trump or Clinton Presidency could happen—would make being a good "Momma" to Reilly harder
  3. Even Reilly wants a "Daddy" to help "Momma" raise her.
  4. "Momma" can't be a burden on "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" forever, can she? Besides, what if—God forbid—something did happen to "Mom-Mom" and/or "Auntie Michelle"—where could or would Reilly and "Momma"—not to mention Camille—go?
Meanwhile, "Momma" is looking out for and waiting for whomever Reilly's "Daddy" is or might be—she already actually has a few possibilities in mind (two in particular), although she won't tell who they are unless one of them does become Reilly's potential "Daddy" (aka, "Momma"'s significant other). Incidentally, Camille has a potential human father—and Reilly has a potential human uncle—what Camille will call her human father, whether or not "Mimi" ("Auntie Michelle")'s current boyfriend ends up being Camille's human father and Reilly's human uncle, is yet to be seen.

Friday, August 5, 2016

Reilly And Camille Always Provide Never-Dull Moments

For example, who could call Pooh Bear- and Piglet-faced, chew-toy and blanket chewers on a Saturday night dull?

Who can call Camille dull when she's taken the opportunity to turn a sofa cover into a blanket?

Also, who could call undyingly-devoted-to-her-"Mimi" Cam dull?

Whom could call a puppy whom sits up for a belly rub and turns away just as you're about to get her picture (and, in this case, somewhat resembles her "Great-Great-Grandma" Czarnecki, of blessed memory) dull?

Aw! She turned away just as "Auntie Michelle" was trying to get another picture.

After all, nobody could call a Reilly whom tolerated a perfect picture opportunity and a Camille whom added to the picture-perfect opportunity dull, could he or she?

Besides, nothing is dull about a Reilly and a Camille whom, e.g., insist on running out of the back door to eat mulch whenever they can—and despite that Reilly's "Momma" is not to blame for it, and despite that Reilly and Camille took the opportunity to run out when "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" was in the backyard to check on her plants after she successfully lifted the backyard-blocking chair out of the way and back to its right side up.

Of course, "Mom-Mom" blamed "Momma" for it; and meanwhile, "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" even had a hard time getting the chair back down on its side to reblock off the backyard, notwithstanding that she thought that she could maybe at least get the chair back down. By the way, Reilly and Camille do know that "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" is not as fast or strong as abler human beings for some reason, although they don't understand the reason (Cerebral Palsy with Scoliosis, and draining mental illnesses)—and like younger human children, they take advantage of that. 

Nonetheless, they do help keep "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" in at least somewhat of a state of sanity—at least when they're behaving, or even when they're misbehaving and "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" laughs when she shouldn't laugh or even has her maternal instincts kick in, although the kicking in of the instincts certainly affects the mental-illness flareups (e.g., OCD/Anxiety) in a vicious cycle (e.g., with "Momma" once obsessively looking for a chocolate that she may have dropped because she saw Reilly going for something on the floor—or at least to the back-door window to bark at somethingknowing that she probably didn't drop a chocolate and Reilly probably didn't get a chocolatesince "Momma" ate it over the table and directly from a 16-ounce glass).

Incidentally, a friend did once tell "Momma" that she could be a good Orthodox Jewish mother, and others (as far as she remembers) have said that she could be a good mother—and yet, "Momma" has a hard time being a good Jewish Christian ima to her kalvbat* (i.e., "daughter dog", a contraction of "bat" and "kalvah", which comes out to also be a word for "affectionate" and "lovely". Awww. Reilly is ×›×œ×‘בה—after her "Momma"'s heart and the hearts of anyone else whom'll give her scritches and other attention, and jealously trying to keep Cam and other puppies from getting that same attention).

PS Reilly is waiting patiently as night-owl "Momma" is typing this entry with one finger on each hand and having a Bruxism flareup as well as aches and pains due to CP, OCD/Anxiety, etc..

*For a discussion on that, see why "Momma" needs a "Poppa" for Reilly—with the Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses , of course, being part of why. After all, not being able to catch mulch-eating Reilly can be detrimental to her in the end, as Reilly's own vet explained as well. Reilly generally does not listen to admonitions such as "Get out of the mulch." or "Drop it!", by the way.

May, God willing, "Momma" find Reilly a "Poppa" and/or God send "Momma" a "Poppa" for Reilly soon—of course, "Momma" wants a "Poppa" whom'll love Reilly's "Momma", though that's another discussion. 

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Follow-Up Videos On Ri and Cam

See how strong they are? The latter three videos were recorded on the day after their teeth-cleaning surgery. Incidentally, another part of why Reilly needs a "Poppa" is that a "Poppa" for Reilly could probably help "Momma" keep things nice and clean for Reilly, since "Momma" has a little bit of a hard time doing that partly due to Cerebral Palsy. 

Friday, July 22, 2016

Update On Reilly And Camille After Coming Home From Teeth-Cleaning Surgery

Reilly and Camille were definitely back to their normal selves in many ways—for example, they ran out of the back door like I knew that they would when I opened the back door and told them to stay (which is part of why Reilly needs a "Poppa"—he'd have to be strong enough to catch her quickly). To be fair, at least Mom sees that when Reilly and Camille burst out the back door to go eat mulch and dropped bird food is not my fault—even with recovering from anesthesia and being right in front of Mom (as Ri was, and with Cam in her bed), Camille Compadre actually led Reilly Ringleader to run to the mulch and birdfeeder area!

Both Reilly and Camille were sleepy, though, and did feel unstable, whimper, and not eat as much as they normally would eat. Still, Ri did eat some "num nums" and lick her bowl to indicate that she wanted "num nums" in the first place, want belly rubs and to come spend time with her "Momma", give kisses (including a wet-nosed kiss at first), jump up on a chair to snuggle with "Mom-Mom" (and she's not supposed to jump, run, play rough, or climb stairs yet), and growl when she heard noises. As for Cam, she jumped from the car when she first came home, was more relaxed when she heard Mimi's voice on the phone, waited by the gate for "Auntie Nicole" to come downstairs, and followed "Mom-Mom" inside the house when "Mom-Mom" was going to get dinner.

Incidentally, Reilly did listen better and did not bark, given that she's still a little sedated. Meanwhile, Camille can't wait for "Mimi" to come home from a trip up north. 

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Re A Rough Couple Of Months (BTW, Thanks To Those Who've Borne With Me)—And I'll Hopefully Be Able To Help Anyone Whom Can Relate

"A merry heart is a good medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

Right now, I feel it—not to mention, too, while I often feel guilty about feeling my own pain and dealing with it as others are feeling and dealing with their pain. By the way—as I've mentioned—I'm a Jewish Christian, and I believe in the Parable of the Talents, etc.—and I'm baffled to realize to while some are suffering worse on the equality scare, all of us are suffering the same on the proportionality scale.

Nonetheless, I often feel guilty for feeling my—at least in comparison—1 while someone else feels his or her 2 or 5. Still, 1/1 = 2/2 = 5/5. Thus, it all comes down to a paradox: while some are going through worse than I'm enduring, I'm going through worse than others are enduring; yet, we're all enduring the same proportion of suffering.

Incidentally, I have to take issue with Amy Grant's "Better Than a Hallelujah": I find more Christian a "broken 'Hallelu Yah'" better than no "Hallelu Yah", even when I feel the way that the songwriters of "Better" do. Job knew that a broken "Hallelu Yah" was far better than anything that's apparently "better than a Hallelu Yah". Of course, one doesn't have to vocalize "Hallelu Yah" to say "Hallelu Yah". Notwithstanding, Christians have to try to say "Hallelu Yah" in all of our actions—didn't Paul remind us of that as he wrote down that we're to give thanks in all things?

Meanwhile, this is part of why many among everyone else laughs at, jeers, derides, and otherwise abhors Christians—there is a real problem when Leonard Cohen, who is not a Christian, gets part of the core of Christianity better than those whom profess to be Christians.

This also reminds me of how many other Non Christians—both Jewish and gentile—get that supposedly-Christian Donald Trump's lack of asking God for forgiveness—aka, lack of praising God for what he supposedly professes what the sacrifice of Christ means to him—shows up in his Non-Christian narcissism, greed, racism, sexism, ableism, and Anti Semitism.

On that note, I wonder how Jewish Christians such as Edith Stein (whom, out of strong conviction, became a Carmelite nun and a namesake of another Jewish Christian, St. Teresa), Eduardo Propper de Callejon, Sir Nicholas Wintour—the first having died in the Sho'ah, and the other two having risked their lives to save others from the Sho'ah—would feel about Donald Trump-supporting Jews and gentiles whom profess to have the same Messiah that they professed. Perhaps they would sum up their feelings with gentile Christian Corrie ten Boom's words: "You cannot love God without loving the Jewish people."

I, thus, have felt the weight especially as those whom also profess the Jewish Jesus of Nazareth and support Donald Trump have persecuted me—and others—for pointing out how a man who is his own idol, has an $100-Million jet and other opulence, and loves only White male gentiles cannot genuinely profess to be a Christian—that is, profess to love a self-sacrificing Jewish man whom (as I and other Christians believe) "was despised, and forsaken of men, a man of pains, and acquainted with disease," of which he healed those such a Syrophonecian-Greek girl continuously-bleeding woman whom touched one of his tzitziyot. By the way, I'm pretty sure that Donald Trump would not let in the Syrophonecian-Greek girl and her mother today, since he'd think them to be a part of Daesh instead of gentile Nasara (Note: some, as I learned while I Googled, have objected to "Nasara" because they think that they're being called "Nasara" in the sense of supporting Daesh—despite that Daesh hates "Nasara", Nazarenes, as much as Donald Trump does. Meanwhile, "Christian" was just as derogatory as "Nasrani"; so, the complainers, with all due respect, need to just embrace "Nasarani" as a way to be "Nasara" against Daesh.).

In sum, then, I've been feeling the pain with which I deal daily (e.g., CP, Depression), fallouts from more-recent pains that I've described (such as the continuing heartbreak of the ongoing baffling estrangement from a dear friend and father figure whom is also a writing mentor—not to mention the long backstory behind it), and the distress regarding the ascent of a modern-day prince of Tyre whom claims to be a Christian as he and supposedly-Christian supporters of his persecute me and others whom point out that he wouldn't let even Jesus into the U.S., let alone love the Syrophonecian-Greek mother whom came with her own "broken 'Halleu Yah'" and a chronically-bleeding and debilitated woman whom would need to come to the U.S. to get treatment if she lived today and God would choose only to show sufficient grace

Saturday, April 9, 2016

Picking Back Up On Compiling The Manuscript For My Second Book

After almost three months, I've finally resumed compiling the manuscript for my second book (As I explain in the introduction of the book, it "began as writings which were sent to three family was in the 72-part series of e-mails and texts.")

Needlessly to say, the exit of one of my writing mentors profoundly affected meand still affects me. In fact, for example, my hands are chilling due to stress as I type—and keeping them warm is impossible—even though should've become warmer once I paused working on the manuscript until, God willing, the afternoon.

Monday, January 18, 2016

More Depression

"A man's soul sustains him, but who can endure a broken spirit?" I am enduring another Depression flareup, loneliness, etc.—I have even suspended working on the manuscript for my next book.

Spiritbrokeness, unlike my sister's stomach flu, is a kind of sickness that doesn't just go away with prayer, fluids, and rest. Spiritbrokeness takes even more than prayer, sufficient hydration, and enough energy to heal—especially when it exacerbates and feeds off of, e.g., Depression in a vicious feed-be fed cycle.

Saturday, October 24, 2015

Where I've Been, And Why I've Been So Busy Lately—At Least In Short, Anyway

With my sister having graduated college and gotten Camille (who, by the way, is almost seven months old now), I have hardly had much space to myself of late. Thankfully, though, she finally got a job and will be around a lot less during the day—nonetheless, that does not spare me from, e.g., her random outbursts (and she does not have Tourette's Syndrome—she just likes to vocalize essentially every thought that she can vocalize. In fact, I have no peace right now—as I type, she is pestering me with a lack of peace and quiet; and I, thus, have a lack of focus).

In any case, making commentary-and-analysis—and other—videos has essentially become impossible. Any abstract forcefield of time, space, and other conducive factors that I have to make those videos is virtually gone—penetrated like a bubble that is popped with a needle. 

The same goes regarding my mother, at least because of the fact that her homecoming time and my waking-up time are less distant than they used to be. Hardly being able to sleep at night, I've sometimes slept well into the afternoon—and woken up just hours before she comes home. In the small space between those times is a lot on which a tired-and-frustrated me has to catch up.

Add that these two hardly give me space and time for and to myself, I can't drive, etc.—then you'll see why I can do hardly anything to maintain a conducive forcefield of peace and productivity, and why I'm even unable (read "forbidden") to deal with certain subjects (despite that, e.g., my and others' warnings about certain kinds of individuals and groups on all sides are becoming "I told you so" and "Who hath believed our report?" statements right before many eyes. If you need a hint, I'll remind you about the 20th Anniversary of the Million-Man March on one side, and Netanyahu and revisionism about the Holocaust on another side.).

I've also written and published a book that was written and published because of a God-sent opportunity, and I'm working on another one. Needlessly to say, the book is not yet selling—and I get that the international shipping prices are a part of it—and I'm working on another book in the meantime—and that writing has involved setbacks.

I'm also dealing with flareups of my OCD/Anxiety, Depression, ADD, and IBS—and I have Acute Otitis Media which was just diagnosed yesterday (and while the AOM should, Yehovah willing, go away soon, the OCD/Anxiety et. al. will not). The flareups affected and exacerbated the AOM, too, I bet. Meanwhile, the flareups have been affected by the writing setbacks and other issues—and it's been a vicious cycle. 

Nonetheless, people (at the very least) wonder why I persist in asking for prayer (and at the very most, they ditch me and/or even'd like to have me dead if they could have their way.).

Ocean Waves Hitting Rocks