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What not getting much feedback, etc. means to me is that I honestly still reflect on committing suicide. I even looked up "1000 Ways to Die", and thought that I may as well stick with the conventional ways of committing suicide if I try to do it. I mean, who's really going to care in the end? Not many people in real life (many of whom are friends on Facebook) do. They sure as Hell didn't care when Dad and his ilk were putting me through all that they put me through. They sure as Hell didn't care when the now-University of Notre Dame of Maryland put me through all that they put me through. "They" includes my Laodecian church, by the way. Where the Hell is Cathy Dallwig calling me like she promised she would (and I warned Charles Polk that she probably wouldn't)?
Also, every miracle in my life comes with a curse-- even on the smallest levels. By the way, what feedback I do get is mostly and usually negative feedback and criticism, not support and even positive criticism. As I said, "I'm more disliked than liked for good and bad." So, not getting much feedback, etc. (and with what feedback I get being negative and unsupportive for the most part, etc.) reflects to me that I might as well be done if the Rapture doesn't come soon.
And who the f***'s going to tell me that they don't want me to go other than they have to, right?
Also, every miracle in my life comes with a curse-- even on the smallest levels. By the way, what feedback I do get is mostly and usually negative feedback and criticism, not support and even positive criticism. As I said, "I'm more disliked than liked for good and bad." So, not getting much feedback, etc. (and with what feedback I get being negative and unsupportive for the most part, etc.) reflects to me that I might as well be done if the Rapture doesn't come soon.
And who the f***'s going to tell me that they don't want me to go other than they have to, right?
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