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This is not a Halloween joke or Halloween scary story-- though incidentally, October 31-November 1, 1877 is the Gregorian equivalent of the Holocaust enabler (Great-Grandma Gaydos)'s dad's birthday (The P'rushi date was Cheshvan 25, 5638.). On that same-- the Holocaust enabler's-- side, I come from a great-great-great-granddad (Istvan Foczko) and with at least two great-granduncles (Andras "Alexander" and Ferencz "Frank, Sr.") who all committed suicide. Then I have Great-Granddad Czarnecki, and who the hell knows if the "sudden fall of rock" that killed Great-Great-Granddad Czarnecki wasn't a deliberate suicide attempt? (My friend may have a point-- that it wasn't just an accident? And Great-Great-Granddad was an Anusi and schicker with a meshugene vayb who obviously didn't pass Yidish or Yidishkeit down to her grandchildren and their grandchildren, either; but had no problem causing her son's Yidishe froyen-- e.g., Teresa nee Makaczyk and Mary M. nee Trudniak-- tsuris, because they apparently weren't Yidishe or Anusit enough for her. )
I guess that I gave enough examples as to why my life is careening toward suicide as alternative one-- couple the statistics with the meshuges un tsuris in di mispoche, and I'm in trouble. The second alternative is just to wait for the Rapture and figure, "Ah, it's all going to Gei Hinnom for the rest, anyway-- and in many ways, for me". Then I remember Eliyahu, Yirimiyahu, etc.-- they were all told to get the geihinnom up and keep going-- and as for the guy who buried his talents, though he wasn't saved...
The Rapture had better come soon or life needs to get better soon or I'm in trouble-- because with OCD/Anxiety/Depression, Cerebral Palsy, and meshuges un tsuris in di mispoche; and in this culture and without a lot of support (or at least close and strong support, as at least even Eliyahu and Yirimiyahu had two or three of at a given time), I'm screwed, I'm done, I'm finished, I'm f_____-- and not in a good way.
I guess that I gave enough examples as to why my life is careening toward suicide as alternative one-- couple the statistics with the meshuges un tsuris in di mispoche, and I'm in trouble. The second alternative is just to wait for the Rapture and figure, "Ah, it's all going to Gei Hinnom for the rest, anyway-- and in many ways, for me". Then I remember Eliyahu, Yirimiyahu, etc.-- they were all told to get the geihinnom up and keep going-- and as for the guy who buried his talents, though he wasn't saved...
The Rapture had better come soon or life needs to get better soon or I'm in trouble-- because with OCD/Anxiety/Depression, Cerebral Palsy, and meshuges un tsuris in di mispoche; and in this culture and without a lot of support (or at least close and strong support, as at least even Eliyahu and Yirimiyahu had two or three of at a given time), I'm screwed, I'm done, I'm finished, I'm f_____-- and not in a good way.
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