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"That night, the family friend came over and said to avi, 'You're not going to believe what this kid told me about those koferim that I grew up hearing about.' He told him and the rest of us what had happened, and we all simply concluded that the kid had lo sekhel, was in over his head. That you would use them to study Anusim and compare Anusim to Yehudim and get a better picture of kol 'am Yisra'el is funny-- that is, strange. Besides, I told you about them to give you an idea of those times, and and idea of what my great-great-grandparents did versus what they did-- and thus why I did not give up my faith when I married your dad. I chose to take persecution for my faith and ethnicity, rather than to blend in and save my life which is not eternal on this Earth-- but will be eternal b'ha'olam haba."
But I thought about those Suwalki koferim compared to the great-great-grandparents of imi, and about what their relative said about them. "'In a similar way to how my side of the family meant evil by pseudo conversion, bnei-Yisra'el meant evil to Yosef. Just as they abandoned their Jewish religion in order to save their lives, so bnei-Yisra'el tried to make Yosef's life to be Gei Hinnom for their selfish ends.'" Also, "'Jesus would have told them not to abandon their Jewishness to save their lives from the Catholic Poles and Russians. "Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it." He would have told them to stand for their faith, even if they did not believe in him, instead of convert to Catholicism and pretend to believe in him. Then again, even their considering Catholicism just to play the goyim saved their souls.'"
At that moment, I was standing between two grounds: would I trust who "'sustained the little ones of my relatives who played the goyim'"-- the little ones such as Bernie and Ed-- or would I be like my great-great-great-grandparents and "'stand for their faith, even if [I] believe[d] in him"? I ultimately decided that "'even their considering Catholicism just to play the goyim saved their souls.'"
I thought, "Let my dad hate me for being a Jew as the Poles, Russians, and even Americans hated Jews. Let my mom hate me for converting to Christianity to save my life. But I'm not being an Anusi -- I'm saving my eternal life, not my earthly life as those koferim meshumadim did. Besides, just as their relative said, 'Yosef said, "'Fear not; for am I in the place of God? And as for you, ye meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive."' What those koferim meshumadim meant for evil by not standing for their Jewish faith brought some of their children to the true Jewish faith, the complete Jewish faith-- Christianity.
"I can be a Jew and truly believe in Jesus of Nazareth as Messiah-- Yeshua HaNotzri HaMashiach."
Then imi, my dad, and all of my siblings-- Marta, Marjia, Mara, Enumah, Tikvah, and Ahavah; and Nwoye, Obi, Okonkwo, and Chinua and Maulana all got word of my newfound Jewish Christianity and sat shiva for me. They also tried to block me from getting back in the house when I came home from a walk. "We don't want the dead here," imi shouted. "As your dad said, we don't want the dead here-- ghosts, spirits, or bodies. That your dad and I agree on your belief in Jesus of Nazareth as Mashiach is the first agreement that we have had in a long time."
Then Nwoye, Obi, Okonkwo, and Chinua and Maulana stood with my dad in traditional Kushi mourning clothing; and Marta, Marjia, Mara, Enumah, Tikvah, and Ahavah with imi in shiva clothing. They along with my dad and imi, respectively, threw me even off of the porch and out of the house altogether. Before I completely left the house as I heard an African mourning chant and "Kaddish" lifted up, my mom called out to me:
"As I told you, I told you about them to give you an idea of those times, and and idea of what my great-great-grandparents did versus what they did-- and thus why I did not give up my faith when I married your dad. I chose to take persecution for my faith and ethnicity, rather than to blend in and save my life which is not eternal on this Earth. By the way, the troublesome man who avi saw you argue with in Upper Park Heights got word of your conversion to Christianity; and was the family friend who I told you about. He hadn't talked to me in years until he called me up once he got word of your conversion-- and no wonder he sensed you to be a schvartze, a troublesome schvartze."
As I walked away from my house, I thought of that verse, "'Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.'" I also remembered a verse that I had read when I had given up my Talmud studies in exchange for Bible studies, and when I had shocked my grandparents by even considering Yeshua to be Mashiach. " And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, orfather, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."
I was glad to have given up the past Hanukkah and Christmas to go on a journey to find chayei b'ha'olam haba.
But I thought about those Suwalki koferim compared to the great-great-grandparents of imi, and about what their relative said about them. "'In a similar way to how my side of the family meant evil by pseudo conversion, bnei-Yisra'el meant evil to Yosef. Just as they abandoned their Jewish religion in order to save their lives, so bnei-Yisra'el tried to make Yosef's life to be Gei Hinnom for their selfish ends.'" Also, "'Jesus would have told them not to abandon their Jewishness to save their lives from the Catholic Poles and Russians. "Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it." He would have told them to stand for their faith, even if they did not believe in him, instead of convert to Catholicism and pretend to believe in him. Then again, even their considering Catholicism just to play the goyim saved their souls.'"
At that moment, I was standing between two grounds: would I trust who "'sustained the little ones of my relatives who played the goyim'"-- the little ones such as Bernie and Ed-- or would I be like my great-great-great-grandparents and "'stand for their faith, even if [I] believe[d] in him"? I ultimately decided that "'even their considering Catholicism just to play the goyim saved their souls.'"
I thought, "Let my dad hate me for being a Jew as the Poles, Russians, and even Americans hated Jews. Let my mom hate me for converting to Christianity to save my life. But I'm not being an Anusi -- I'm saving my eternal life, not my earthly life as those koferim meshumadim did. Besides, just as their relative said, 'Yosef said, "'Fear not; for am I in the place of God? And as for you, ye meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much people alive."' What those koferim meshumadim meant for evil by not standing for their Jewish faith brought some of their children to the true Jewish faith, the complete Jewish faith-- Christianity.
"I can be a Jew and truly believe in Jesus of Nazareth as Messiah-- Yeshua HaNotzri HaMashiach."
Then imi, my dad, and all of my siblings-- Marta, Marjia, Mara, Enumah, Tikvah, and Ahavah; and Nwoye, Obi, Okonkwo, and Chinua and Maulana all got word of my newfound Jewish Christianity and sat shiva for me. They also tried to block me from getting back in the house when I came home from a walk. "We don't want the dead here," imi shouted. "As your dad said, we don't want the dead here-- ghosts, spirits, or bodies. That your dad and I agree on your belief in Jesus of Nazareth as Mashiach is the first agreement that we have had in a long time."
Then Nwoye, Obi, Okonkwo, and Chinua and Maulana stood with my dad in traditional Kushi mourning clothing; and Marta, Marjia, Mara, Enumah, Tikvah, and Ahavah with imi in shiva clothing. They along with my dad and imi, respectively, threw me even off of the porch and out of the house altogether. Before I completely left the house as I heard an African mourning chant and "Kaddish" lifted up, my mom called out to me:
"As I told you, I told you about them to give you an idea of those times, and and idea of what my great-great-grandparents did versus what they did-- and thus why I did not give up my faith when I married your dad. I chose to take persecution for my faith and ethnicity, rather than to blend in and save my life which is not eternal on this Earth. By the way, the troublesome man who avi saw you argue with in Upper Park Heights got word of your conversion to Christianity; and was the family friend who I told you about. He hadn't talked to me in years until he called me up once he got word of your conversion-- and no wonder he sensed you to be a schvartze, a troublesome schvartze."
As I walked away from my house, I thought of that verse, "'Whosoever shall seek to save his life shall lose it; and whosoever shall lose his life shall preserve it.'" I also remembered a verse that I had read when I had given up my Talmud studies in exchange for Bible studies, and when I had shocked my grandparents by even considering Yeshua to be Mashiach. " And every one that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, orfather, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my name's sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall inherit everlasting life."
I was glad to have given up the past Hanukkah and Christmas to go on a journey to find chayei b'ha'olam haba.
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