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For example, when dogs and cats (like Moki, Mishka, Laika, Skeen, Winston, Cassy, etc.) are more famous than me, that's not only depressing; that's also (or so the situation seems that) G-d seems to be rubbing in my face that dogs and cats are more famous and loved than me. Then there's that (and I've blogged about all this before; but there's still that) sense of loneliness, injustice, etc.. I know that others are going through worse (which is another way of G-d rubbing my pain in my face-- "You know, there are people going through worse than you.")-- but my pain is not mitigated or taken away from.
I know why I'm lonely-- I'm an OCD/Anxiety-, Depression-, Cerebral Palsy-diagnosed, also ADD and IBS-afflicted, Anusi-born Messianic Jew with divorced parents and (with few exceptions) a Hell of a meshuga family and family history on both sides-- and I've already given you the megillah of my dad's family history (with yet more for me to find out and give, I'm guessing-- and the roadblocks in finding out the family history, including my meshuga family being deliberate roadblocks-- is depressing).
I've also given you a little of my mom's family history with the roadblocks in finding more out about it-- and, for example, try being cursed because your great-great-great-granddad was a Confederate veteran; and I've discussed how inquity visits the third and fourth generations continually, even to the thousandth-- the 250th of fourths of-- generations.
I mean, let's face very clearly that Pop-Pop Farrell's daughters and granddaughters, among others, suffered post-partum depression because "‘The LORD is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’" By the way, if you think that having to know that many in your family suffered terribly under post-partum depression is just another facet of life, you're meshuga-- and you don't understand that one begins to suspect that the post-partum depression was just a manifestation of depression within the family or genepool.
I know why I'm lonely-- I'm an OCD/Anxiety-, Depression-, Cerebral Palsy-diagnosed, also ADD and IBS-afflicted, Anusi-born Messianic Jew with divorced parents and (with few exceptions) a Hell of a meshuga family and family history on both sides-- and I've already given you the megillah of my dad's family history (with yet more for me to find out and give, I'm guessing-- and the roadblocks in finding out the family history, including my meshuga family being deliberate roadblocks-- is depressing).
I've also given you a little of my mom's family history with the roadblocks in finding more out about it-- and, for example, try being cursed because your great-great-great-granddad was a Confederate veteran; and I've discussed how inquity visits the third and fourth generations continually, even to the thousandth-- the 250th of fourths of-- generations.
I mean, let's face very clearly that Pop-Pop Farrell's daughters and granddaughters, among others, suffered post-partum depression because "‘The LORD is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’" By the way, if you think that having to know that many in your family suffered terribly under post-partum depression is just another facet of life, you're meshuga-- and you don't understand that one begins to suspect that the post-partum depression was just a manifestation of depression within the family or genepool.
In conclusion, I lied when I said that "It's [only] the Depression again."... es mi pinche vida y mi historia que puede me deprimir.
1 comment:
That's strange, you claim to be all lonely and stuff, but my phone hasn't been ringing with a Maryland number. :P
I am thinking of a Youtube idea that you would be helpful with, I'll let you know more about that later on this week.
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