Somewhat Offbeat: "Momma"'s Crying Over "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" & Current Heartbreak

Whenever "Auntie Michelle" would sing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" as a lullaby to Reilly during her first year home, "Momma" would break down crying (and is getting tears in her eyes now as she types this). "Momma" reminded "Auntie Michelle" of this when "Auntie Michelle" cried over seeing photos of others' beloved pets of blessed memory on a Facebook page, and this was after "Momma" asked her if she was crying because she was thinking about that God-forbid day down the road ⃰ .

(May Reilly and Camille each either be Raptured alive with her human mother or live until her human mother is at least 60 and be Raptured with her at the Resurrection of the Dead and the Calling Up of the Living!).

In a similar way with a different kind of love, "Momma" has been spiraling down for over a year and once again failing Reilly. As she explained:

"[A] year ago on January 6th was when she lost touch with one of the people whom inspired her to write about Reilly, and that loss has been hurting like Hell ever since then—and it's also affected mental-illness flareups that have her to be a quite-often-relatively-bad "Momma" to Reilly, which is paradoxically contrary to what "Momma" thinks that the person whom inspired her to write about Reilly would want."

She certainly isn't helping Reilly (Poor gal!), though she's trying her best—and even her OCD flared up today as she frantically looked for and tried to keep Reilly and Camille away from every piece of glass that fell into the backyard from an already-broken-glass pile on the porch enclosure—of course, she's been staying up late again thinking about him or her and the huge loss that losing touch with him or her has been.

She's also been thinking about Reilly's possible "Daddy" and what he wants—and she's told Reilly that and kept asking her if she thinks that the person in question will be her "Daddy". Reilly seems to have answered in the affirmative every time, as—as "Momma" has explained—a prophetess giving a prophecy or an oracle¹²!

As she's written before, too:

 "For all that 'Momma' knows, though, maybe loneliness will count as enough of a fast for God to send her a helpmate for her and a 'Daddy' to Reilly, whether soon or down the road—and whoever the 'Daddy' for Reilly might be could be anyone from a total stranger to even one of the guys among guys and gals whom inspired 'Momma' to write about Reilly, no matter what 'Momma' thinks of the chances that any given guy would or will ever be Reilly's 'Daddy'."

This person could also be the same one whom told her what the real story about Reilly's "Great-Grandaunt" Kas might be, and that "Great-Mom-Mom" confirmed could be the story for all that she knows.

Whatever the case is, "Momma" suspects that Reilly's possible "Daddy" knows whether or not he's also at least one of the other people described—now can "Momma" please know for her and Reilly's sakes, and can יהוה please move Reilly's possible "Daddy" to at least tell "Momma"?

"A merry heart is a good medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones", and "The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a broken spirit who can bear?" Doesn't יהוה see that "Momma" can't be strong enough for Reilly if she can't be strong enough for herself, and that she won't be strong enough until she gets the answer that she needs from Reilly's possible "Daddy" himself? 

Besides, "Momma" may—for example—miss a broken piece of glass one day, and that broken piece of glass could be fatal to Reilly if she can't find it and has no help in finding it, 

⃰ In case you don't get it, "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" when "Auntie Michelle" sings it to Reilly makes "Momma" think of the "Rainbow Bridge"

¹ In the JPS 1917 translation of Tanakh, "oracle" is translated as "parable", "word", "burden", etc..

² "Momma" asks Reilly that in a, if you will, casting-lots or an asking-of-God's-word way.

Part Of Why Reilly Was Fixed, And A Donation In Honor Of "Momma" From Reilly's Future "Daddy"?

Right in between BCA Month and the month in which many notoriously buy puppies as gifts that they end up returning to the pet stores*, breeders**, and shelters, Movember/No-Shave November (herein "No-Shave Movember") comfortably takes its place as much as Reilly comfortably takes her place wherever she likes whenever she gets the chance to choose her own spot.

Along with the just-concluded BCA Month and the upcoming Caveat-Empuprum*** Season, No-Shave Movember serves to remind aspiring and current puppy owners of one big thing: non-breeding puppies (including non-breeding adult puppies) need to be spayed and neutred—after all, puppies are at risk for cancers, too—and puppy owners can prevent their non-breeding puppies from having any significant cancer risk by spaying and neutering them.

That's part of why Reilly was fixed: having her uterus and ovaries removed, Reilly was free to live the life of Reilly without "Momma" (and everyone else) worrying about her possibilities of having mammary, ovary, and other cancers—after all, Reilly's "Momma" worries enough about herself being at risk for the human equivalents of the cancers that non-spayed female canines—besides, "Momma" inherently has Jewish worry regarding her "dogter" (not to mention that "Momma"'s primary cancer risks are due to whatever BRCA mutation stereotypically passed down through her Ashkenazi bloodline—and evidenced itself in Reilly's "Pop-Pop"'s ongoing Chron's Diease, late "Great Pop-Pop"'s battles with Colon Cancer and fatal Myelodysplasic Leukemia, and "cousin" Katherine's death due to Breast Cancer).

Speaking of cancer-related matters, meanwhile, "Momma" recently received a surprise card saying that someone had donated to St. Jude's Children's Hospital in honor of her—and the card did not have the honor-bestowing donor's name or a message on the bottom. Perhaps the anonymous honorer of Reilly's "Momma"—who clearly knows Reilly's and "Momma"'s address—is Reilly's future "Daddy" 😊? Since—as "Momma" checked online—one can put his or her name and a message in the card, "Momma" is pretty sure that someone else would've written a message and put his or her name to let her know who he or she is.

Even if the mysterious donor isn't Reilly's eventual "Daddy", "Momma" and Reilly thank him or her—and if the donor is Reilly's to-be "Daddy" , "Momma" thanks Reilly's "Daddy" both personally and on behalf of gregarious and empathetic Reilly ❤️.

("Momma" suspects that the donor is whom she hopes might be Reilly's future "Daddy", by the way.)




* At least some of which actually don't use puppy mills
** Whom will be proud that the families at least gave the puppies chances to find better homes, as opposed to in-name-only breeders whom will only resent losses of profits
*** Em-pup-rum, in case you didn't get the pun

Reilly & Camille Finally Got Their Apples & Honey, And...

The night before, Reilly wasn't as deserving of the apple slice and honey that she had—and she is very lucky that:

1. Puppies cannot fast and do not have to fast on Yom Kippur.
2.  The apple slice and honey were a belated Yom Teru'ah treat as opposed to a reward or a last-treat-before-Yom Kippur treat.
3. "Momma" considers that Reilly may've been reacting to stress at home of late.

Still, "Momma" was unpleased in having to hear "Your fur daughter made me cry" because Reilly tried to bite "Auntie Michelle" when "Auntie Michelle" was taking her downstairs to "go potty" and go back upstairs with Reilly. ("The ferocity with which she attacked me did concern me," "Auntie Michelle" adds today). Also, Reilly has tried to bite Camille before when Camille has gotten too close to "Mom-Mom" for Reilly's comfort. So, she was not going to take "Auntie Michelle"'s attempt to give "Mom-Mom" a good night kiss.

Reilly also ate "nasties" when she was outside to "go potty", and she ate "nasties" when "Aunt Michelle" took her out for a run this afternoon! Incidentally and meanwhile, "Momma" wonders what she's going to do if there ends up not a "Daddy" for Reilly—let alone any kind of miracle—let alone a Yom Kippur miracle. After all, for example, the following humiliating reminder for "Momma" that she's too physically weak to care for Reilly alone exists:

Being unable to even crawl on the floor to transport the coffee that she to drink while she watches the Presidential Debate at her computer as it livestreams.

That "Momma" couldn't even carry a coffee cup over from the kitchen to the computer desk in the family room—even with crawling and sliding the cup or carrying the cup while hanging on to objects to support her—painfully reminds her that she can't walk Reilly alone, catch her when she runs away with a "nasty" or as she runs with a toy during playtime, etc..

For all that "Momma" knows, though, maybe loneliness will count as enough of a fast for God to send her a helpmate for her and a "Daddy" to Reilly, whether soon or down the road—and whoever the "Daddy" for Reilly might be could be anyone from a total stranger to even one of the guys among guys and gals whom inspired "Momma" to write about Reilly, no matter what "Momma" thinks of the chances that any given guy would or will ever be Reilly's "Daddy".

By the way, Reilly did behave when "Auntie Michelle" took her to "peety" tonight—since Reilly can behave at least once in while, maybe there's hope of a miracle for "Momma" in terms of having a helpmate whom Reilly will know as "Daddy" (and whom Camille will know as "Uncle [Whomever]").

Somewhat Offbeat: Poor Reilly Is Exhausted Because Of "Momma" Dealing With A Difficult Time, Etc.

As "Momma" continues to deal with life closing in on her and Reilly, Reilly is being affected again—poor baby! Contrary to what "Mom-Mom" alleges, the case isn't that "Momma" doesn't care about Reilly—the case is actually that she does care about Reilly and wants a "Daddy" for Reilly and a helpmate for Reilly.

As she has written:

"Then have people wonder why you sit up alone at night thinking about both your future and poor Ri's future, despite that you should be taking Reilly back upstairs and going "night nights"—and you're amazed that even reading at night doesn't always help you fall asleep or sleep well enough, and you also know that Reilly's patiently waiting for you to finish reading before turning the reading light off affects her to be a little more sleepy during the day."

She was able to figure out that exhaustion is affecting Reilly and was affecting her to, as Mom-Mom stated in regards to how Reilly was affected to, have "been acting funny this morning." Mom-Mom, of course, lectured her when she figured why Reilly was "acting funny"—which had nothing to do with the uncooked quinoa noodle that she ate and refused to drop yesterday.

Meanwhile, part of why "Momma" is exhausted, etc. is because she feels that someone who could be Reilly's future "Daddy" may be—so to speak—sending her funny signals right now, and she just wants to know what he's thinking—is he going to be Reilly's "Daddy" in the future, and does he even want to be Reilly's "Daddy" and "Momma"'s helpmate?

"Momma" and Reilly are also not getting any younger—in fact, Thanksgiving falls right in between when "Momma" will be 26 ⅚ years old and Reilly 2⅔ years old—not to mention that "Momma" doesn't want to end up with the kind of disappointment and heartbreak that Gwen Ifill (of blessed memory) had:

"Ifill never married not had any children. When asked about in 2008, she still seemed hopeful. 'I don't know why I'm not married,' she told TIME. 'I just know I will be, so I don't sweat it.'" 

"Sadly she never got the chance to fulfill that wish. She died on Monday - just two days before she was scheduled to receive a prestigious award, the John Chancellor Award, at a Columbia University ceremony, reports."

She also feels like a female equivalent of Nick Carraway, whom F. Scott Fitzgerald made to have his full birthday in September (with no connection to Reilly's half birthday, of course):

"After a moment Tom got up and began wrapping the unopened bottle of whiskey in the towel.

'Want any of this stuff? Jordan? . . . Nick?

"I didn’t answer.

“'Nick?' He asked again.

“'What?

“'Want any?”

“'No . . . I just remembered that to-day’s my birthday.'

"I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a new decade...

"Thirty — the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair." 

Amazingly, "Momma" hasn't died of exhaustion and loneliness yet—and even more amazingly (and miraculously), Reilly hasn't died due to her "Momma"-affected exhaustion—maybe there's hope for "Momma" and Reilly. 

"Momma" Thinks That She'll Tell Reilly Who Reilly's "Daddy" May Eventually Be Soon, Since...

Reilly seemed to indicate that she wants to know who her "Daddy"—and "Momma"'s helpmate—might be down the road—or at least an idea of whom "Momma" hopes that he might be, or at least the kind of man that he'd be if not anyone whom "Momma" has in mind. After all, e.g., to have to fight Reilly on getting a seed out of her paw is not fun—and "Momma" already has a hard time with dealing with Cerebral Palsy, not to mention that the same "Auntie Michelle" whom had to help "Momma" get the seed out of Reilly's paw could've caused "Momma" and Reilly to die once. Also, c.q., almost dropping a glass bowl today because of Reilly's barking is not fun.

Meanwhile, Reilly seemed to indicate it when she touched "Momma"'s hand with her nose three times—three times in a row, as "Momma" recalls—when "Momma" asked her if she wanted to know, though Reilly just wanted a belly rub when "Momma" subsequent times—as perhaps Reilly thought that she'd already given "Momma" her answer—besides, she was sleepy.

If nothing else in the meantime, as "Momma" has written before:

"This, by the way, is also part of why "Reilly" needs a "Daddy"—'Momma' wants to be able to take Reilly on walks and enjoy those kinds of moments with her, and 'Momma''s Cerebral Palsy makes walking Reilly alone impossible. By the way, Reilly—if nobody or nothing else—would hopefully be incentive for somebody to be and stay with 'Momma' [After all, e.g., even what looks "Momma" has been told that she apparently has won't do it, since "Momma" has Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses. Maybe, e.g., Reilly's amusing quirks, such as her hatred of the camera, will, though.]

"In the meantime, 'Momma' is keeping an eye out for whomever could, would, and (God willing) be Reilly's 'Daddy'."

By the way, extremely-loyal Reilly does not want—or at least didn't want—to leave "Momma"'s side to go back upstairs for the time being until "Momma" goes "night nights". Since "Auntie Michelle" and "Mom-Mom" can control when Reilly goes upstairs, though, because "Auntie Michelle" can take her "to go potty" at night, "Momma" and Reilly are at "Mom-Mom"'s behest. 

Somewhat Offbeat: "Momma"'s OCD/Anxiety Is Flaring Up Because...

Her possible helpmate and Reilly's possible "Daddy" won't reach out to her and give her a clear answer, thus affecting her to be anxious, exhausted, etc.. Even last night, "Momma" stayed up thinking about her possible helpmate and Reilly's possible "Daddy"; and she's anxious enough to be nauseous right now.

She is not looking for any easy way out of anything at all—in fact, she's writing the books about Reilly and other books partly to be able to become an author with enough money to provide for Reilly and stand in her own right—nonetheless, that doesn't change that, for example, she needs help rolling over Reilly when Reilly barks inappropriately and carrying Reilly's water bowl back and forth (and "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" criticize her for simply having to pour new water into Reilly's water bowl instead of dump the old water and pour completely new water). Besides, she wants to be able to walk Reilly  in the future and have someone with whom to walk with her and Reilly.

In any case, "Momma" thinks that her possible helpmate and Reilly's possible "Daddy" love her and Reilly, though she's just not sure. In addition and as aforestated, not having a clear answer from Her possible helpmate and Reilly's possible "Daddy" affects her to OCD/Anxiety flareups, etc. and be a bad "Momma" to Reilly. Furthermore, neither "Momma" nor Reilly are getting younger—and Reilly's Gregorian birthday is on the 25th of March.

Also, "Momma" has asked before what she needs to do to get her possible helpmate and Reilly's possible "Daddy" to reach out to her—the case isn't, as far as "Momma" knows, that he isn't strong enough to help her—in fact, he's quite strong enough to help her and Reilly. 

How Reilly Marked Her Gregorian Month Birthday—aka, Part Of Why "Momma"'d Like An Answer From Reilly's Possible "Daddy" One Or Another Way

Reilly's day on "Momma"'s Gregorian year birthday was fine enough for Reilly—cue the reverse, inverse, or whatever you want to call how bad "Momma"'s day on Reilly's Gregorian birthday was for "Momma". To be fair, Reilly promised to be a better girl tomorrow when she came downstairs and got scritches just now—nonetheless, Reilly marked her Gregorian month birthday similarly to how she marked her Hebrew month birthday. Here are some highlights:

1. She decided to leave poor Camille inside by herself while she was going potty—and of course, Camille got a short end of one of Reilly's sticks just as she did on Reilly's Hebrew month birthday.
2. Why Camille was left inside is as follows: when "Momma" accidentally did not hook the extendable leash through the other leash's hoop, Reilly decided to let a pupchase ensue—and that pupchase included no less than Reilly eating "nasties" (including mulch), getting into "Mom-Mom"'s garden, deliberately running away from "Momma", and not coming inside until she heard "Camille" bark at something.
3. When Reilly seemed like she was going inside, she tried to run back out in the backyard.

Meanwhile, "Momma" isn't supposed to be frustrated? "Momma" is supposed to accept how Reilly takes advantage of her disability, even though Reilly doesn't know that that's why she can outmaneuver "Momma"? "Momma" is supposed to tolerate and endure the lectures from "Auntie Michelle" about she can do more than she thinks than she can, as if she doesn't know herself well enough?

Also, not having a helpmate for herself and "Daddy" for Reilly continues to exhaust her and Reilly—maybe that's part of Reilly stubbornly went back into "Momma"'s room, jumped up onto "Momma"'s bed, and refused to get off of the bed and downstairs until "Momma" got out of the bed.

Can't she at least get an explanation from Reilly's possible "Daddy" for her and Reilly's sakes? How long must she ask this of  Reilly's possible "Daddy" (since she knows that he wants something and can't figure out just what)—and ultimately יהוה—or she supposed to, for example, depend on "Auntie Michelle" and "Momma" for the rest of her and Reilly's lives?

By the way, it's 1:29 AM EST on January 26th as "Momma"'s finishing this blog entry, and she began writing this at the end of the 25th—and poor Reilly's waiting as patiently as usual.

In Contrast To How "Momma" Is In One Of Reilly's Typical Days...

Reilly is one of the few bright spots in any of "Momma"'s days of late. Even yesterday, for example, "Mom-Mom" took Reilly along with her when she went to pick up "Momma" from counseling (yes, counseling 😳; partly because "Momma"'s trying to be a better "Momma" to Reilly). At one point, Reilly even let one of the staff at the counseling firm pet her, growled either playfully or jealously, and then went back to allowing scritches and giving kisses.

That's also literally one of the few clearly-enough-rememberable moments from yesterday in which Reilly was involved—some other events that involve Reilly, and some other events within the day, are either not as rememberable (with "Momma"'s ADD, etc. fogging up those events) or not specifically involving Reilly.

As for Reilly, she—"Momma" can assure you—would be embarrassed to have "Momma" as her human mother if she had—or at least could communicate—any canine equivalent of human understanding in regards to "Momma" being an almost-27-year-old female human whom has disabilities (Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses) and, as a result, is still living with her own human mother and without Reilly's "Daddy" in her life for the time being (if there even is a "Daddy" for Reilly at this point—or at least if Reilly's future "Daddy" is whom "Momma" thinks, or at least hopes, that he is ⃰ ).

("Momma" gets jaded and very cynical very quickly, and Reilly would probably be embarrassed by that.)

For whatever reason, though, "Momma" is (or is she) a bright spot in Reilly's day(?).

 ⃰ PS: If it isn't too much to ask of Reilly's possible future "Daddy", couldn't he at least let "Momma" know what he's thinking on his end for her and Reilly's sakes? The ball—so to speak—is in his court and a ball that not even Reilly or Camille could get and/or bring to "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" without him throwing for them first and/or telling them to come get it.

Somewhat Offbeat: A Milestone October 11th (And Maybe a "Yom Kippur" Miracle If "Momma"'s Lucky) & Reilly's Afternoon Antics

The October 11th of 2016 is Yom Kippur 5776 & the two-week countdown to Reilly's two-year-and-seventh-month birthday—not to mention:

1. One month after the painful 15th anniversary of 9/11—and America somehow still stands strongly.
2. One month before the 98th Anniversary of Armistice Day
3. The day that is two weeks before Reilly's 2016 seventh-month birthday being on the same day as the Fast of the Seventh Month in 5776.
4. The day that Reilly would be fasting if puppies—including adult puppies, whom are "bark mitzvahs"—could fast and would have to fast for teshuvah v'kippurim.

While puppies cannot fast and do not have to fast for any reason, let alone l'ma'an teshuvah v'kippurim, especially because of today would Reilly certainly have to fast if she had a mitzvah to be a shomeret HaYom HaKippurim! Being a single "Momma" with a disability, "Momma" certainly had no fun with Reilly's disobedience as Reilly burst out of the back door while she was taking Camille to "go potty"—Reilly, albe unintentionally, added insult to "Momma"'s injurious state in life by making "Momma" chase her around the backyard, try to get her to avoid eating "nasties" such as mulch, and putting a neighbor in a bad position as he or she was unable to help get disobedient Reilly back inside and late leaving for a family obligation as a result—not to mention that the neighbor, even though he or she has recovered from his or her recent surgery, had the surgery only about a month ago.

This is also another reminder of why "Momma" needs a "Daddy" for Reilly as both "Momma" and "Reilly" get older—besides, an as-possible-as-able man would be able to have authority over Reilly than 5'1.75"-and-afflicted-with-CP-and-Scoliosis "Momma". Granted that, for example, the main person who inspired "Momma" to write about Reilly got frustrated when "Momma" once complained about her state in her life—as he understandably viewed "Momma"'s complaining as being a pity-party schtick, as most other people view it because they don't get how hard it is for "Momma".  

Still, as "Momma" wrote in her last "Offbeat" post:

"As if "Momma" isn't in enough pain, didn't hope for a miracle on Yom Teru'ah and National Boyfriend Day, and isn't even trying to be a good "Momma" to Reilly! As if "Momma" doesn't think about herself and "Reilly" getting older while "Momma" either needs Reilly's "Daddy" to come into her life soon or might have to end up remaining an alteh moid and being another stereotypical and forced-by-life case of the ableist argument that people with disabilities don't get married because society doesn't love them!

"'Momma' hurts enough for herself and for Reilly, and feels like Daisy in The Great Gatsby did:

"'Through this twilight universe Daisy began to move again with the season...'

"["Momma"'s own "twilight universe" is mental-illness flareups that only exacerbate "Momma"'s injurious situation in life.]"

On that note, may "Momma" have a Yom Kippur miracle and have God break her forced fast known as being single with little to no hope of having a "Daddy" for Reilly unless by some miracle. Whether "Momma" will observe the tzom l'Yom Kippur, by the way, is nobody's business but her business and God's business.

By the way, Reilly came back inside after the last time that "Momma" bribed her with yogurt—and Camille got extra yogurt for being a good girl and waiting patiently inside while "Auntie Nicole" had to chase Reilly, had to admonish Reilly several times, pray to a God whom seemed to be not helping her out at quite a few points, try to bribe Reilly with multiple treats (e.g., turkey, yogurt, peanut butter), try to trick her (e.g., "Is Mom-Mom home?"; "Let's go get some salmon."), and otherwise try to get her to go back inside after she explicitly disobeyed "Momma" by bursting out into the backyard as "Momma" was trying to get out through the doorway with Camille.

Also incidentally, as Reilly turns two weeks older and perhaps more stubborn, Reilly's 2016 seventh-month birthday will be wedged right in between what would've been "Momma"'s great-granddad Czarnecki's 112th birthday and his paternal grandmother's 178th birthday—and her namesake granddaughter's 119th birthday (and if only she'd've lived to 120 years instead of died in her 51st year of Breast Cancer!), By the way, "Momma" talks to Reilly about her human family all of the time—and speaking of family, Reilly's twice-removed cousin Shelby turns a year old on October 20th! 

Somewhat Offbeat: When "Momma" Is Thinking About Asking Reilly How To Get Reilly's Possible Daddy To Reach Out To Her...

That is bad, especially considering that the same puppy on whom "Momma" just had to use the spray bottle could have caused her to die yesterday. Still, there is an impasse, and he's gotta budge—or at least give some clarification one or another way—and as "Momma" has written:

"She's also been thinking about Reilly's possible "Daddy" and what he wants—and she's told Reilly that and kept asking her if she thinks that the person in question will be her "Daddy". Reilly seems to have answered in the affirmative every time, as—as "Momma" has explained—a prophetess giving a prophecy or an oracle¹²!

"As she's written before, too:

 "'For all that "Momma" knows, though, maybe loneliness will count as enough of a fast for God to send her a helpmate for her and a "Daddy" to Reilly, whether soon or down the road—and whoever the 'Daddy' for Reilly might be could be anyone from a total stranger to even one of the guys among guys and gals whom inspired 'Momma' to write about Reilly, no matter what "Momma" thinks of the chances that any given guy would or will ever be Reilly's "Daddy".'"

By the way, "Momma" just had to use the spray bottle again—if only someone could and would help "Momma" roll Reilly over!

Besides "Momma" (Whose Biggest Fan Reilly Seems To Be), Reilly's Biggest Fan Is....Whom?

Besides "Momma" as Reilly's biggest human fan—and besides, for the time being, "Mom-Mom" and then "Auntie Michelle" after "Momma"—and besides Camille as Reilly's biggest canine fan, who's Reilly's biggest fan—or who would be Reilly's biggest fan?

For what noting Reilly's undying devotion to "Momma" is worth, "Momma"'s two—or however many—cents are that Reilly's biggest fan is or would have to be whomever among humans would love "Momma" the most—that is, whomever Reilly's "Daddy" is or would be, whether or not "Momma"'s (good-as-any?) guess or idea is correct.

Anyone—or anyone except those like George Soros, Vladimir Putin, Donald Trump, and Hillary Clinton—could love Reilly—and Reilly could probably love even the Soros, Putins, Trumps, Clintons, and other most-indecent people. Loving "Momma", as Reilly as a "dogter" knows, would be a bit harder.

Meanwhile, wouldn't a gift or miracle be if Reilly's "Daddy" came into Reilly's life by her half-year birthday—September 25th—or at least by the end of September—despite that Reilly is far from good at reciprocating birthday wishes? While Reilly may not at first like having someone else in "Momma"'s life or her life at first, even Reilly thinks that she needs a "Daddy".

A Weird Incident Re "Momma"'s Going To Check On Plants, And A Small And Long Postscript

When "Momma" was going to cover her plants with a towel last night—since a frost advisory was to be in effect, and the plants were grown from citrus-fruit and apple seeds that she'd saved—Reilly freaked out when "Momma" changed her mind from having Reilly stay—since Reilly is prone to burst out the door—to having Reilly come with her. For whatever reason, Reilly would not come with "Momma"—in fact, she'd keep running from her! 

"Momma" finally decided to risk the plants to the frost—which she'll have to do tonight as well—and take Reilly upstairs to go "night nights"—Reilly must've been tired!

PS: With the Election and life in general closing in on "Momma" and Reilly, "Momma" wrote the following:

"While "Momma" has some ideas about whom Reisy's "Daddy" might be (or at least whom she hopes that he might be), she's not sure that she's currently—and she's more sure that she's currently not—in a position to share her specific thoughts about that with anyone but God, Reisy (even though Reisy is a canine—specifically, an adult puppy known as a "dog"—as opposed to a human), and a few other people. If anything, the case seems to be that whoever Reisy's "Daddy" is might have to tell "Momma"—especially if he's among those whom "Momma" thinks strongly might be Reisy's "Daddy"."

Here's a hint regarding whom "Momma" thinks that Reilly's "Daddy" might be at least down the road, if God wills: 

The guy's Hebrew name has two of the letters of God's Name—of course, multiple names in Hebrew have these two letters—and "Momma" is not giving away the letters, the combination of the letters, or the pronunciation of the letters in the name in question.

By the way, the time to at least give a hint came, since "Momma"—being a Jew with Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses—does not know if she'll survive November 9th in any case, let alone if she'll survive and be able to get herself and Reilly to a safe place should they need to run. In full disclosure, Reilly did lick "Momma"'s hand both when "Momma" asked if Reilly likes Trump, but she gave "Momma" her paw when she asked if she likes Kasich and nosed her hand the next time! 

(Maybe Reilly feels pity for Trump like a belated senior kitten that "Momma" et. al. once had felt for a family member of "Momma"!) 

By the way, "Momma" does not like Clinton, either. 

Offbeat: Reilly Staring Down "Momma" Again, And More On If Reilly's "Daddy" Were In Reilly's And Her "Momma"'s Lives

As "Momma" wrote last night:

"Reilly was actually just staring down "Momma" until "Momma" explained that she is actually just wrapping up right now—and then Reilly began napping and waiting for "Momma" similarly to how (though in a different way than) "Momma" is (and Reilly is also) waiting for a certain someone.

"By the way, "Momma" is (and in whatever way puppies can be aware of life's problems, Reilly is) aware that while "Momma"'s having her helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy" (especially if he is who "Momma" thinks that he is) in her and Reilly's life won't solve everything, it'll sure help "Momma" and "Reilly" with a lot."

This time, Reilly's staring at "Momma" through eyes which she's been trying to keep open, and "Momma" thinks about the question that she asks herself and God re who she thinks might be Reilly's "Daddy": when's he going to admit it—unless "Momma" is misreading something?

After all:

"The spirit of a man will sustain his infirmity; but a broken spirit who can bear?"

And

"A merry heart is a good medicine; but a broken spirit drieth the bones."

And that does not help Reilly.

Camille Being A Literal B****, Reilly Putting "Momma" & Herself In Danger, Updates, And Still Waiting On Reilly's "Daddy"

1. Just now, Reilly sat on "Mom-Mom"'s lap—and only to literally get b**** at by Camille—Camille decided to aggressively growl and even (according to Camille's "Mimi") bite Reilly. Of course, "Mom-Mom" and "Mimi" soundly reprimanded Camille.
2. Reilly's pink extendable leash is still in the backyard with "Momma"'s cart in which it is stuck—and Reilly is very lucky that neither she nor "Momma" were hurt when the cart fell and when one of the solar lamps' lids fell onto the ground. To make a long story short, Reilly decided that not finding her "potty spot", coming when she was called, listening when she was told "No pull", or avoiding "nasties" was okay—and the only way that "Momma" got Reilly back up on the porch is by pulling on the rope of the extendable pink leash—and Reilly is also lucky that she has a harness and not a collar to which to attach her leash.
3. The paperback edition of Reilly's book is finally on Amazon!
4. In the midst of all this, meanwhile..."Momma" still has a broken-as-Hell heart. As much as Reilly is her "Momma"'s filial "Valentine", she can't be "Momma"'s overall "Valentine"—besides, as today's incident demonstrates, Reilly needs a "Daddy" whom can be a "Valentine" for "Momma" and help "Momma" reign her in a little bit—and "Momma" hasn't given up on whom she thinks might be Reilly's "Daddy" down the road if God wills.

A Summary Of Chrismukkah At Reilly's 🙂, And No Miracle Of a "Daddy" For Reilly 🙁

The highlights are as follows:

1. At About 1:23 AM On The Day After Christmas: The female canine equivalent of Clara's brother Fritz decided to growl at the female canine equivalent of Clara...over toy monkeys, and this despite (as one can see below) that "Fritz"—or rather, "Frizz"—stole Reilly's toy monkey and put both monkeys in her crate on Christmas Day!
2. The First Night Of Hanukkah (December 24th): Camille "Frizz" Czarnecki also stole Reilly Czarnecki's toy dreidel at least once. Speaking of stealing, admittedly, two Czarnecki humans used one of the toy dreidels to play the dreidel game when the two Czarnecki canines went to bed—though does that count as stealing or just playing the dreidel game with a treif dreidel in terms of kosher-for-human-use dreidels? By the way, each Czarnecki human ended up with halb of the pot—of course, neither of the Czarnecki canines could have any gelt!
3. Reilly ended up really liking her toy monkey—in fact (as one can also see below, and on Twitter), she's snuggling with her monkey (which "Auntie Michelle" gave her to snuggle before she and Camille went "night nights") as "Momma" types (and who can resist tweeting cute pictures of Reilly and Camille?).
4. Reilly still doesn't have a "Daddy", and "Momma" still has no clue what Reilly's possible "Daddy" wants*. At least Reilly's happy and healthy—and able to have the toy monkey that Camille wanted to steal from her, although a toy monkey and a "Daddy" for her (who could help "Momma" keep her happy and healthy) are far different.

*Can't he at least give her an idea—and surely, the same God Whom helped "Momma" to find a spare box of Hanukkah candles, just as He helped the Maccabees find spare oil for the Menorah, can move Reilly's possible "Daddy" to at least contact "Momma", can't He?

Reilly Can Sense When Someone's Going Through A Difficult Time...

Reilly has been more than patient with "Momma" and even listened as "Momma" made a confession to her—and she was tired last night, but not because of "Momma". This time, she was patient with and empathetic toward someone whom is going through his or her own extremely-difficult time—in addition to already dealing with, for example, "Momma"'s trying to figure out what who may be Reilly's "Daddy" wants.

As "Momma" and Reilly went upstairs early enough this time, "Momma" observed that Reilly was unusually tired after Camille said a non-reciprocated—in fact, a very-hostilely-rejected—"night nights" to Reilly—whom was jealous of Camille and wanted to say "Night nights" to "Auntie Michelle"—Reilly could sense the pain that this person who's enduring difficulties is feeling, and she really did to try to comfort that person when that person needed comfort and consolation.

PS Speaking of comfort and consolation, "Momma" is asking Yehovah, can Yehovah please send "Momma" her helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy" already—especially if he is who "Momma" thinks that he may be, and if "Momma" correctly guesses that he might want to be "Momma"'s helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy"? Is anything too hard for Yehovah—and "Momma" is not asking too much of Yehovah for herself and Reilly, is she? 😩

In any case, יהי רצון יהוה לעשות הרצונו.   

Must Love Reilly (And "Momma")—And Why Does "Momma" Blog About Reilly Needing A "Daddy" So Much?

"Momma" has already made quite a few of the reasons clear. For example:

1. Given some of what "Momma" has to endure—such as Cerebral Palsy and Depression—
2. Given that "Momma" already has trouble being a good "Momma" to Reilly, going through life alone and lonely—especially this day and age, in which events such as a detrimental Trump or Clinton Presidency could happen—would make being a good "Momma" to Reilly harder. 
3. Even Reilly wants a "Daddy" to help "Momma" raise her.
4. "Momma" can't be a burden on "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" forever, can she? Besides, what if—God forbid—something did happen to "Mom-Mom" and/or "Auntie Michelle"—where could or would Reilly and "Momma"—not to mention Camille—go?

Meanwhile, "Momma" is looking out for and waiting for whomever Reilly's "Daddy" is or might be—she already actually has a few possibilities in mind (two in particular), although she won't tell who they are unless one of them does become Reilly's potential "Daddy" (aka, "Momma"'s significant other). Incidentally, Camille has a potential human father—and Reilly has a potential human uncle—what Camille will call her human father, whether or not "Mimi" ("Auntie Michelle")'s current boyfriend ends up being Camille's human father and Reilly's human uncle, is yet to be seen.

Somewhat Offbeat: The Exhaustion-Etc. Cycle Of a "Momma" Whom Keeps Failing Reilly & Praying For Reilly's "Daddy"

Even right now, Reilly is understandably looking at "Momma" with a series of "Wrap up, already!" looks as "Momma" is once again going through that cycle of overstaying up, becoming exhausted, and going to bed unusually early. This is notwithstanding that "Momma" and Reilly pray for "Momma"'s possible helpmate and Reilly's possible "Daddy" to reach out to "Momma" already—and every night that "Momma" and Reilly pray for whomever "Momma"'s helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy" is, especially if he is who "Momma" thinks that he is.

What's having "Momma"'s possible helpmate & Reilly's possible "Daddy" reach out to "Momma" going to take?

Offbeat: Still Waiting On Reilly's "Daddy" & An Awful Post On People With Disabilities

Firstly, about the post: according to a now-ex Facebook friend, "people with mental/neurological disabilities"—including, by her logic, herself—should never marry or have children—since they can't handle being spouses and parents, and will only put their children into dysfunction and poverty. Also according to her, Reilly's human grandparents shouldn't have had children. Meanwhile, the hypocrite herself recently married and refused to respond when Reilly's "Momma" pointed out that the now-ex friend was basically saying that God shouldn't have created people with disabilities—"Momma" also, pointed out, for example and without saying in the exact words what she pointed out, that the hypocrite wants to deny others with disabilities the opportunity to marry.

As if "Momma" isn't in enough pain, didn't hope for a miracle on Yom Teru'ah and National Boyfriend Day, and isn't even trying to be a good "Momma" to Reilly! As if "Momma" doesn't think about herself and "Reilly" getting older while "Momma" either needs Reilly's "Daddy" to come into her life soon or might have to end up remaining an alteh moid and being another stereotypical and forced-by-life case of the ableist argument that people with disabilities don't get married because society doesn't love them!

"Momma" hurts enough for herself and for Reilly, and feels like Daisy in The Great Gatsby did:

"Through this twilight universe Daisy began to move again with the season; suddenly she was again keeping half a dozen dates a day with half a dozen men, and drowsing asleep at dawn with the beads and chiffon of an evening dress tangled among dying orchids on the floor beside her bed. And all the time something within her was crying for a decision. She wanted her life shaped now, immediately — and the decision must be made by some force — of love, of money, of unquestionable practicality — that was close at hand.

"That force took shape in the middle of spring with the arrival of Tom Buchanan. There was a wholesome bulkiness about his person and his position, and Daisy was flattered. Doubtless there was a certain struggle and a certain relief. The letter reached Gatsby while he was still at Oxford"

If "Momma" has to settle like Daisy Buchanahn did, she will—at least she'd be able to expect that she'd be ablestically cheated on if she did get cheated on, as opposed to have to say "I should've have expected to be cheated on" if she ends up getting cheated on by a guy whom she thought might actually stay with her.

Incidentally, "Momma" did once send to the main person whom inspired her to write about Reilly a writing-practice piece in which she quoted The Great Gatsby —and she is more than ever reminded about that green light on the dock as she waits for whomever Reilly's "Daddy" might be:

"There's a "Great Gatsby" meme that's going around the Internet, and it's—at least I assume that it's—particularly made inroads in the Facebook world—after all, the Facebook world is its subject. The "Gatsby" meme reads something like, "When you see your crush online, you know how Gatsby felt when he stared at the green light at the end of the dock." The reference is, of course, how a crush's name with "Web O" by it is reminiscent of the following: "'You always have a green light that burns all night at the end of your dock.'""

Unlike Gatsby, though, "Momma" won't have the memory of her green light fade and have the green light become just another object.

Yet, They Never Believe "Momma" Until "Momma" Persists In Getting Them To Pet Reilly

Granted that "Mom-Mom" worked from home today and was holding Reilly on her lap. Still, Reilly did exactly as "Momma" said that she would—she let the home-improvement contractors pet her and gave them kisses. Reilly also barks because she hates when people leave in fact, Reilly is gregarious to the point at which she licked the spaying team as she came out of the anesthesia!

By the way, if God wills and "Mom-Mom" allows, Reilly and "Momma" would love to have family, friends, and others—including whomever Reilly's "Daddy" is or might be—to come over and meet and/or visit with Reilly on Thanksgiving! Maybe there'll even be venison 😉!

In all seriousness, Reilly would love to meet and regreet people. As for Camille, even though she did let one other person pet her today, she usually misses only "Mom-Mom", her "Mimi", Shelby, and a pitbull mix in her neighborhood (in a platonic way, mind you; though as for Camille's "Auntie Nicole" quietly wonders if Cam's platonic song of lament would ever apply to her and and Reilly's "Daddy" in another way—"Momma" definitely gets verklempt and bazorgt about Reilly not having a "Daddy" and herself not having a helpmate around the holidays).

Meanwhile, Cam is becoming more than just Jewishly emotive—and she's always Jewishly emotive (despite that there's apparently no Yiddish word for "emoter"—and thus no farklenervort for "Auntie Nicole"'s "plimenitse"—although she does call her "puppeleh", semi Yinglish for "little puppy",).