The Sad Part Is That I Feel Guilty For Being Depressive When People Care...

Then only later am I reminded that most don't. As I told a friend, "I tell you, honest to Christ, I really don't think that many people want me around. I guarantee you that when push comes to shove (and vice versa), most'd rather see me gone." Excuse me; but with all due respect, how else am I going to interpret most of what little YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, Blogger, and other interaction I get when most of it is negative and critical? By the way, my friend told me, "Night. TTYL." (What a real friend you are, Gordon.).




When most of my online interaction reflects most of my offline interaction, do you expect me to always be happy and acting like everything's okay; like I didn't cry before I made the last blog post and last YouTube video, like I don't want to go off in a corner and just die-- since trying to commit suicide would get me in Sheppard Pratt or not end well otherwise, such as if I survived a suicide attempt and wished that I died as a result?




As I've said, "They sure as Hell didn't care when Dad and his ilk were putting me through all that they put me
through. They sure as Hell didn't care when the now-University of Notre Dame of Maryland put me through all
that they put me through. "They" includes my Laodecian church, by the way. Where the Hell is Cathy Dallwig calling me like she promised she would (and I warned Charles Polk that she probably wouldn't)?"


As I also asked, "And who the f***'s going to tell me that they don't want me to go other than they have to, right?" Gordon already proved that he wouldn't. And wishing me well and just saying "Hey" don't help the issue either. A simple well wish or greeting doesn't always make any situation better:


¹⁴ What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him? ¹⁵ If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, ¹⁶ and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit? ¹⁷ Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead. 




And


¹⁰ For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. 
      But woe to him who is alone when he falls, 
      For he has no one to help him up. 
       ¹¹ Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm;     
But how can one be warm alone?
       ¹² Though one may be overpowered by another, two can withstand him. 
      And a threefold cord is not quickly broken. 


By the way, food, clothes, and warmth aren't always literal or at least physical.

In Response To Analytical Adam (And Watch the Negative Reaction Which I Talked About Pour In)...

This blog entry is going to be carefully broken down and responded to one by one, point by point:

• "To respond to this I do think  a persons followers do shed some reflection on the individual. Either these people weren't really his followers or in some ways he did promote that certain ideas of the Jewish bible were heartless and evil and Jesus's ideas were better. Of course they take from the Jewish bible when they want to.   Not sure where his followers would somehow twist his ideas to this degree and truly be his followers."

I don't think that Adam's ever tried reading Galatians 1:6-12 and Romans 7:4-25, has he? Adam's commenter also has not read the same (See the comment on Adam's blog entry.).

• "You hear that about some Jewish leaders as well that their followers twisted their words and many times that really isn't the case as some Rabbis think they have more compassion then God does and God is evil and harsh until they the Rabbi came along and they also just pick and chose from the bible and not try to understand why in certain situation God was fairly harsh and in some other cases it is not literal and to know this you have to know Hebrew which thankfully I know.  " 

First of all, Adam, slow down and breathe. Secondly, Jesus said right out that He was doing only what the Father (G-d-- that is, G-d the Father) told him to do. And if you know Hebrew, then why do you ignore that "echad" and "Elohim" are plural and refer to a pluralunity?

• As someone Jewish who is been picked on for this I have to say that my view is that Christianity and Jesus certainly brought the ideas of the Jewish bible into circulation which since the Jewish people in their own way distorted their religion that it seemed odd to most people because of the ways they distorted it this was needed for some group to bring these ideas to non-Jews as well although some of these people as well had their imperfections. 

At least Adam is not an Antimissionary like Skylar Curtis (who, as a ger, has hutzpah to be telling Yehudim and goyim alike not to even consider Jesus).

• I do think that it is wrong to worship Jesus as God and I do think it distorts God since God is one and both male and female unlike humans who God separated the full being when God took the rib out of Adam and formed Eve.  And I see that it is easier for women to worship Jesus and the reason is because Jesus was a man and it is natural for a woman to love a man and be their helpmate.  But not some religious figure to take the place of a husband.  This distorts male-female relations in a bad way. 

I already talked about Adam ignoring the Hebrew that he claims to know. Adam v'Chava were echad per Beresheet 2:24, by the way. Also, what does Adam make of this from Hoshea 2?

 ² “Bring charges against your mother, bring charges;
      For she is not My wife, nor am I her Husband! 
      Let her put away her harlotries from her sight, 
      And her adulteries from between her breasts; 
       ³ Lest I strip her naked 
      And expose her, as in the day she was born, 
      And make her like a wilderness, 
      And set her like a dry land, 
      And slay her with thirst. 
       ⁴ “ I will not have mercy on her children, 
      For they are the children of harlotry. 
       ⁵ For their mother has played the harlot; 
      She who conceived them has behaved shamefully. 
      For she said, ‘I will go after my lovers, 
      Who give me my bread and my water, 
      My wool and my linen, 
      My oil and my drink.’ 
       ⁶ “ Therefore, behold, 
      I will hedge up your way with thorns, 
      And wall her in, 
      So that she cannot find her paths. 
       ⁷ She will chase her lovers, 
      But not overtake them; 
      Yes, she will seek them, but not find them.
      Then she will say, 

      ‘ I will go and return to my first husband, 
      For then it was better for me than now.’ 

Is G-d trying to get women to have Him take the place of a husband? Why does Adam ignore metaphors and context?

And this?

Psalm 112

The Blessed State of the Righteous

 ¹ Praise the LORD!
         
         Blessed is the man who fears the LORD, 
         Who delights greatly in His commandments. 
         
 ² His descendants will be mighty on earth;
         The generation of the upright will be blessed.
 ³ Wealth and riches will be in his house,
         And his righteousness endures forever.
 ⁴ Unto the upright there arises light in the darkness;
         He is gracious, and full of compassion, and righteous.
 ⁵ A good man deals graciously and lends;
         He will guide his affairs with discretion.
 ⁶ Surely he will never be shaken;
         The righteous will be in everlasting remembrance.
 ⁷ He will not be afraid of evil tidings;
         His heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
 ⁸ His heart is established;
         He will not be afraid, 
         Until he sees his desire upon his enemies. 
         
 ⁹ He has dispersed abroad,
         He has given to the poor; 
         His righteousness endures forever; 
         His horn will be exalted with honor.
 ¹⁰ The wicked will see it and be grieved;
         He will gnash his teeth and melt away; 
         The desire of the wicked shall perish.

Who has zerah m'ha'aretz? Look at this part of Yesha'yahu 53:

 ¹⁰ Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; 
      He has put Him to grief. 
      When You make His soul an offering for sin, 
      He shall see His seed, He shall prolong His days, 
      And the pleasure of the LORD shall prosper in His hand. 
       ¹¹ He shall see the labor of His soul,^[b]and be satisfied. 
      By His knowledge My righteous Servant shall justify many, 
      For He shall bear their iniquities. 
       ¹² Therefore I will divide Him a portion with the great, 
      And He shall divide the spoil with the strong, 
      Because He poured out His soul unto death, 
      And He was numbered with the transgressors, 
      And He bore the sin of many, 
      And made intercession for the transgressors.

And since "Vai'yivra Elohim et-ha'adam b'tzalmov, b'tzelem Elohim bara otov", who is to say that G-d could not have become Man, as "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth."?

Not Getting Much Feedback On This Blog or YouTube, Likes On My Page, Etc...

What not getting much feedback, etc. means to me is that I honestly still reflect on committing suicide. I even looked up "1000 Ways to Die", and thought that I may as well stick with the conventional ways of committing suicide if I try to do it. I mean, who's really going to care in the end? Not many people in real life (many of whom are friends on Facebook) do. They sure as Hell didn't care when Dad and his ilk were putting me through all that they put me through. They sure as Hell didn't care when the now-University of Notre Dame of Maryland put me through all that they put me through. "They" includes my Laodecian church, by the way. Where the Hell is Cathy Dallwig calling me like she promised she would (and I warned Charles Polk that she probably wouldn't)?

Also, every miracle in my life comes with a curse-- even on the smallest levels. By the way, what feedback I do get is mostly and usually negative feedback and criticism, not support and even positive criticism. As I said, "I'm more disliked than liked for good and bad." So, not getting much feedback, etc. (and with what feedback I get being negative and unsupportive for the most part, etc.) reflects to me that I might as well be done if the Rapture doesn't come soon.


And who the f***'s going to tell me that they don't want me to go other than they have to, right?

New Blog Layout For More Emphasis On My Posts and To Declutter

Tell me what you think about my new blog layout. I'm trying to put more emphasis on my posts and less on the other Blogger feautres. I'm also trying to (perhaps inappropriately for a Christian, though) self promote a little more. In other words, I'm trying to focus on content and promotion of the blog, though I honestly feel guilty about putting the "Yerushalayim Time" clock in a lower position-- as a Jewish Christian, my priorities ought to be concerned with Yerushalayim, Y'hudah, v'kol Yisra'el, even though-- and perhaps, in at least some ways, especially-- I'm b'HaGalut.

By the way, I don't put the ads on the "Yerushalayim Time" clock-- the ads come with the application from which I got the "Yerushalayim Time" clock.

This Is One of the Best Pictures That I've Seen of Geraldo Rivera In A Long Time...

This is from Geraldo's public Facebook page.

Seeing Without My Glasses Is Hard and Makes a Lot Impossible

I'm nearly as nearsighted as one can get. I can hardly see.. (measuring... if I can find a ruler in front of me... oh well, relative measure...).. a foot in front of me. I don't have my prescription in front of me, but what I can see for the most part does have a little to complete blur. That makes practicing my piano impossible, drawing political cartoons hard to impossible, reading things besides my music books that are not too close to me hard to impossible, etc.-- and even the computer screen a little to completely (when I sit up straight, completely or nearly-completely) blurry.

If not completely blurry, at least squintably blurry is how blurry the computer screen can get. I inherited my dad's and granddad's sight-- my dad needed contacts and my granddad contacts (?) and (at least) bifocals (or at least reading glasses if not bifocals) for (at least) reading.




Great-Granddad certainly needed them.

Maybe I'm Crazy For Having This Image, But...

Maybe, just maybe, Christopher Hitchens did have the deathbed conversion that he called a possibility, albeit a slim one: maybe after losing his mom, who left his dad and committed suicide shortly after her leaving, and losing his dad; plus growing up in a poor family then having a divorce when he started his own family, maybe he's being rocked in G-d's arms tonight.

 Maybe he's being rocked in G-d's arms tonight and being told that it's okay, like a dad would rock his child and comfort him or her. After all, Christopher Hitchens was Jewish and had a hard life, so he was biologically a     ben-Elohim-- a son of G-d-- who had a lot of suffering from which he needed to be saved.

In other words, any Jew is a ben- or bat-Elohim, since he or she is created (as all humans are; but unlike other humans, created) and set apart and chosen as part of 'am-Elohim in keeping 'im hab'rit im Avraham, Yitzchak, v'Ya'akov. So, Christopher Hitchens was, by nature (that is, ethnicity; not, as the Mormons would put it, sexuality or G-d-human sexual relations) a biological (but not, as I said, G-d-human-sexual relations-wise) a ben-Elohim, thus part of the chosen 'am-Elohim.

As for the suffering aspect, who does G-d seek out?

Matthew 9:12-14

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹² When Jesus heard that, He said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. ¹³ But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy and not sacrifice.’^[a] For I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”^[b]


G-d has been called the Great Physician, the only one who could ultimately heal or save Christopher Hitchens from throat cancer in either lifetime. Let's just hope that Christopher Hitchens as a ben-Elohim got a bikur chol visit from the Great Physician Himself and yeshuat 'im habikur.