The Nicole Factor

Wednesday, March 28, 2012

We'll See Who Gives A Darn: How I Found Out That I'm Jewish, The Short Story

How did I find out that I'm Jewish? I typed in jewsforjesus.com for a joke (or so I thought), just to where the URL would go. As I found out that G-d got the last laugh, I got into Jews For Jesus. Then I remembered my dad calling me "Nicole Charnetski" a few times. "Charnetski"... so I researched. I had no doubt when I found this.

When "Danilowicz" showed on the death certificate and as I continued to research, the story came together. To begin, "Antoni" Chernetski was born to Julian Jan "Feliks" and Aleksjondria Alicja Andrulewicza Chernetski, who gave both sets' of her son's grandparents the names "Antoni" and "Katarzyna". Antoni was born October 24, 1904 in Tsuman, Ukraine; either en route to or from Buzhanka, Zvenigorodka, Kiev, Poland Ukraine, Russia-- where his mother's cousin Vil'gel'm Andrulevich lived. His parents, in contrast, were born at his Diasporan home of Lipsk nad Bierbza (where the Chernetskis owned a family farm) and in Bose, Sejny, Poland Russia (far from the Andrulewicz Diasporan homestead in Buzhanka).

Sat shiva for, the Chernetskis were kicked off the Lipsk nad Biebrza farm and forced to either stay in Poland as Anusim without their home in Lipsk or immigrate to America (which didn't have a much-better Pro-Jewish record) and live as Anusim. In his new Diasporan home of Luzerne County, Pennsylvania, the Antoni Chernetski who immigrated to Luzerne on May 18, 1908 married Mary Theresa Trudniak on May 10, 1934. Married to a Matrilineal Jew and daughter of Michael and Anna Monkova Trudniak, Antoni had five sons.

The oldest-surviving one, John "Jack" Gregory Czarnecki, followed his dad's footsteps and posed as the Ethnic Polish-Lithuanian son of Anthony "Tony" and Mary Czarnecki. Like his dad, who did change his name to Anthony John "Tony, Sr." Czarnecki, Jack carefully hid his Jewish background and also married a fellow Jew-- and a fellow Crypto Jew. He was married on September 23, 1959 to the Anusit Joan Adele Gaydos; the daughter of Michael "Mickey", Jr. and Marysia "Mary" Elizabeth Rusnak Gaydos-- the son of Anusim Mihal "Michael" and Katarina Maria Ushinskyova Gajdosz, and the daughter of Andrej Stef "Andrew Stephen" and Juliana Elizabetha "Julia Elizabeth" Rusznak.

I am the oldest daughter of Jack's and Joan's oldest child, Gregory "Greg" Matthew Czarnecki, who is just like his dad and granddad-- who committed suicide in part because of how hiding his Jewishness and his real story took a toll on him and his family.

We'll See Who Gives A Darn: January 12 - April 2006

To make a long story short, I got into another fight with Dad and Cindi over another Wednesday dinner (Michelle even wanted to throw a chair at Cindi in my defense.). Then began my downhill going, downward spiral to April 2006. I threatened to jump out of my mom's car and to do something to myself right in my then youth pastor's office, among other things that I threatened to do. Then came that day when I told my then psychiatrist that I was going to do something to myself, and I had a plan to do something to myself.

When he was going to put me in Sheppard Pratt, I began looking for alternatives right away-- but to no avail. So, I ended up in Howard County General Hospital and at Sheppard Pratt. So began that awful week. Top the week off that I had to meet with my dad before I could leave Sheppard Pratt, and that I was asked by one of the meeting facilitators "Are you an overall liar?".

Not that I can exactly recall all of this well since almost six years have passed, that week was traumatic, and I just had another breakdown within the past two hours.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

We'll See Who Gives A Darn: Depression And Suicide

Since I'm feeling depressed and suicidal right now, what better way to write the next chapter than to talk about the depression from my dad and granddad, and the suicide attempts in my family? Actually, to be fair, depression and suicide come from both of dad's parents families. Great-Granddad Czarnecki committed suicide on December 2, 1964: he drowned at the now-long-gone Falls River Bridge in Exeter, Pennsylvania. By the way, you obviously know that dad's paternal granddad is Great-Granddad Czarnecki, so I need not elaborate further.

As for dad's maternal family, the suicide from them doesn't go directly down the line. Grandma's maternal grandma, Julia Fosko Rusnak, wasn't (as far as we know) suicidal-- she died of an appendicitis operation, anyway. Her brothers Alexander and Frank, Sr. were suicidal; and they committed suicide on, respectively, March 22, 1913 and February 10, 1935. Thus their dad, Istvan Foczko, committed suicide; and he did so in about 1905-- their mother, Johnanna Hanzokova Foczkova, died of a stroke on October 9, 1913. This means that, obviously, suicide from the Foskos is a recessive occurrence on the Julia Fosko Rusnak side.

As for me, I threatened to commit suicide twice-- once over erasing a Pokemon game when I was eight (and some peer had tricked me into doing so. Besides, as I realize looking back, that was a difficult time in my life. Anyway, so I literally had a knife in my hand and threatened to stab myself in front of my mom the first time), and the second was in April 2006 over a January 12th, 2006 fight with my now-estranged dad and stepmom.

I'll write the next part later if anyone cares and I'm still here tomorrow-- I honestly pray to be Raptured or otherwise to not wake up on Earth in the morning.

We'll See Who Gives A Darn: Intro To My Story

Nicole Czarnecki, aka "Nickidewbear" shared a link

10 hours ago

The Nicole Factor: So I Got Two Prayers Answered, But...

thenicolefactor.blogspot.com

So, where do I begin? I'm tired at almost 2:00 in the morning, but I might as well begin somewhere. My intent isn't for my story to be a so-called "sob story" or whatever else you could deride my story as; my story is just story. I am a 22-year-old woman who had Diplegic Spastia Cerebral Palsy, Obsessive Compulsive, Generalized Anxiety, and Depressive Disorders; possible Aspberger's, definite Irritable Bowel Syndrome, and unmedicated Attention Deficit Disorder. I'm the so-called "mamzerah" daughter of a Self-Despising, Anusi Jew and a possibly-Jewish, mostly-Irish American; and I did not know that I am a mixed-blooded Jew until I was 18.

I get the OCD/Anxiety from the Foskos (my dad's maternal grandmother's maternal family-- there's a tongue twister or otherwise-confusing phrase! Anyway; I get OCD from the Foskos-- I know this because my cousin Kevin Fosko has OCD/Anxiety.); I get Depression and Irritable Bowel Syndrome from my dad's dad, but I'm not exactly sure from which of his families (since his mother was the Matrilineally-Jewish daughter of Anna Trudniak nee Monkova; and Deuteronomy 28 talks of "emerods"-- what we call hemorrhoids-- and other Jewish curses, including other digestive-system problem. By the way, studies have shown that Chron's-- which my dad and granddad have-- is most prevalent in Ashkenazic Jews, of which people we are. We also carry the BRCA1 gene, since my granddad has in-remission colon cancer, for which he lost 18 inches of his colon.).

The ADD comes from Dad's side as well, but I'm not sure which family-- all I know is that Aunt Mary has it and, like me, is not on medication for it. As for the Cerebral Palsy, it comes from my being born prematurely and having a Category-3 brainbleed. By the way, I spent 75 days in the Saint Agnes Hospital Neonatal Intensive Care Unit because of my early birth and Cerebral Palsy-- I almost did not survive even to 75 days, by the way! I was also never to walk, talk, be smart (although I'm still not the smartest person in the world, although I'm not stupid), and write-- I walk with AFOs (something-something-Orthoses or -Orthodics-- I've heard them called either); I talk (not as much as my twin, though!); I'm smart enough, I guess; and I write (though I was supposed to only type, if anything).

Now that I've given you my medical history and some of my other history, let me wrap this chapter up, keep you in suspense, and go to bed. L'laila tov tikatevu-- may you be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for a good night!

Monday, March 26, 2012

Unlike Krystal Keith, I Can Make My Own Name In My Own Right

I simply suggested that Krystal Keith make a name in her own right, and I got these smartass, elitist comments back:

I think to comment on something as personal as a career decision for an individual....you should at the very least..know them...you don't...your point however unmerited, is considered..You should use your vast energy on self improvement...take a speech class...read more books...I Know the Family...Krystal is an amazing young woman, not only talented singer/songwriter...but polished and educated...I am sure she, along with her family will make wise decisions regarding her future!

nanapoet 11 hours ago
Good for you, Mr. Self Righteous and Know It All.

Nickidewbear in reply to nanapoet (Show the comment) 8 hours ago
By the way, "Whenever you feel like criticizing any one, just remember that all the people in this world haven't had the advantages that you've had."

Nickidewbear in reply to nanapoet (Show the comment) 7 hours ago
She has the talent to stand on her own with a voice like hers. Please tell us why the album release delayed since you know so much. You could have said blah, blah, blah, blah and it would have been just inmpressive. I can see no reason why she WOULDN'T use her Dad's connection. Are you telling us that no one knew Roseanne Cash was Johnny's daughter or that no one could figure out that Hank Williams Jr was the son of Hank Williams Sr.?

Insanity must be running rampant! You're delusional.

islandfever 2 days ago
Did Kate Hudson use momma Goldie Hawn's connection? No. In fact, she even turned a role with stepddad Kurt Russell down. Why? She wanted to make her own name in her own right. Regardless of talent, @KrystalKeith will be only her dad's daughter if she doesn't break out and make a name in her own right on a different record label than her dad's and with a different debut song than "Daddy, Dance With Me".

Nickidewbear in reply to islandfever (Show the comment) 2 days ago
ok I've gotta say this...you don't know here and you don't know what is going through her mind...you have no idea why the album has actually been postponed... I mean yeah she might want some fame and stuff but who in music industry hasn't used famous last names to get connections?...lay off Krystal you stupid idiots=.=

Malisaofthesand 4 weeks ago
@Malisaofthesand I can tell what a nice and charming person that you're not. Firstly, riding on Dad's, Mom's, or whoever else's coat tails and using his or her name usually puts an aspiring celebrity in the shadow of the already-famous person. Look at Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn's daughter-- she didn't ride her mom's or stepdad's coat tails, or use either one of their names; and she made a career for herself instead of off of Goldie and Kurt. Look at Whitney Houston in the music industry even.

Nickidewbear in reply to Malisaofthesand (Show the comment) 4 weeks ago
@Malisaofthesand Whitney Houston didn't use Cissy Jackson Houston (Cissy Jackson) or Dionne Warwick to have a name or career-- she didn't take either one of their names or use them as much as she could have, and she made a name and career of her own. So your "[W]ho in [the] music[-- or any other--] industry hasn't used famous last names to get connections?" question has been answered.

Nickidewbear in reply to Malisaofthesand (Show the comment) 4 weeks ago
@Nickidewbear

ok seriously you have me laughing my ass off dear. First I don't need you sitting here listing off things to justify your accusations. In all honesty dear you waste your time & effort sitting here lecturing me on what I think...what a life you must have. like I told you, you don't know the reasons behind whats going on you may know just gossip for all you know. You have no true hard facts to proove why she is really doing what she is doing. Leave gossip to the news

Malisaofthesand in reply to Nickidewbear (Show the comment) 4 weeks ago
Seriously? Ever think she may not want too much fame? Could it be that she is perfectly happy doing what she is doing? Say what? Hank Williams JR didn't use the family name? Rosey Cash didn't use the family name? Whose family names were they using? Krystal seems happy doing exactly what she is doing....be happy for her, how about that!

Dafoxxy310 1 month ago
@Dafoxxy310 She wants fame alright. She's on her dad's label and touring the OKC and Tulsa circuts. But that won't be enough.

Nickidewbear in reply to Dafoxxy310 (Show the comment) 1 month ago

I take comfort in this: unlike Krystal "Krystal Keith" Covel Sandubrae, I'm making my own name in my own right. I'm not using my dad's and granddad's name to get me into the door: in fact, I've been very vocal in revealing that Jack Czarnecki is the Self-Hating-Jewish, now-former IRS Agent who refused to take a stand for his Jewishness while bringing Anti Semite Richard Nixon down with tax papers during Watergate-- I've been a critic of that he missed his opportunity to (so to speak) kill two birds with one stone. I've also called him out for the murderer that he is.

I've also called out other notable and aspiring-famous connections in my family: Matt Turner, Marcela "Mia" J. Danilowicz, and Ashley Wojnar-- all fame aspirers-- and former Mansfield State College (now Mansfield University) professor Dr. MaryAnn Gaydos-- for her coverup of a what her American kapo of a mother did. So, I-- unlike Krystal-- have had people to call out in my family; thus, I have had names that I am unable to use and doors shoved into my face that I have had to unshove, swing back closed, and reopen for myself.

I also can't use the DeBoy name. Why? I'm not going into Hollywood like Paul and PJ; and even though PJ's not going to like me for saying this (which is another reason why I can't use the DeBoy name, by the way), I'm not exactly supportive of that he's in a relationship with Paul Dawson. I'm also the one who found out that we're related through both sisters Catherine and Christina Pelz DeBoy, and through brothers (and the Pelz sisters' respective husbands) Jean "John" Adam and Ferdinand DeBoy.

As for Delegate Steve DeBoy, he's a Democrat and I'm a Republican-- same with my uncle Steve Allen (who works for Martin O'Malley) and me. I can't use them as connections, either. So not only can I not use the Pelz-DeBoy name; I can't use the Pelz-DeBoy-Farrell name.

So, as a JIrish (Jewish Irish) Republican Christian who's in dissent with some aspects of certain family members, who's even called out family members, and who otherwise can't use family names; I will let my detractors and Krystal Keith's slobberers know that unlike their precious Krystal Keith, at least I'm making a name in my own right, in addition to overcoming some disadvantages to me and infamy within my family.

The Nicole Factor