My Own Yidishe Neshome Apparently Doesn't Mess Around: A Few Curses With Which (I Think That) I Came Up (Or That God Gave To Me)

PS I was inspired when I saw some of the traditional curses that are circulating on Facebook and Kveller. Also PS:

1.  I'm not a Yidishophone, and Google Translate did not work for me. Whoever can translate these into Yidish for me will get credit (and it is "Yidish" in its stricter transliteration, as "Yiddish" is "יידיש".) 
2. Please use these judiciously and only in cases where curses like this are warranted.
3. In the least-extreme cases of the most-extreme cases, these curses are warranted for those like Roy Moore, Harvey Weinstein.
4. In my next book, "More Shit And Other Stuff That I Can't Make Up", the backstory behind why I came up with these curses (or why God gave them to me) can be found. Let's just say that Micah 7:6 and Psalm 27:10-12 apply, and that's the generous way to put it here. Another hint, in transliterated Hebrew: Lo kal ha'avot hem avot tovim.
5. Even Paul prayed that God would repay his enemies, per 2 Timothy 4:14. Remember that I'm a Jewish Christian, by the way. 

1) May what you should get off your chest collapse your lungs before you have time to get it off!

2) May the way in which you've broken people's hearts break your neck! (May with what you've stabbed others in the back stab your back!)

3) May the weight with which you weigh down others be the weight under which you collapse!

4) May your iron fist come back to punch you!  (May your heavy hand eventually press itself down on you!)

5) May how you fight others in a tooth-and-nail way come back to bite and scratch you!

6) May the next time that you breathe down someone's neck be the moment of your last breath!

7) May the headaches that you cause others be the kind that cause you a stroke!

8) May the arm with which you try to strongarm others cause itself to break!

9) May you trip on the feet which you use to try to step on others, and may you kick yourself in the face when you fall!

10) May the nose that you stick into others' business clog up and cause you to sneeze your brains out!

11) May the butts of the jokes that you try to make others end up being your butt, and may your butt get kicked by the foot that you'll have put in your mouth!
 (May the butt that you try to make others kiss be the one on which you fall [or in which you get kicked]; may the foot which you try to make others lick fly back into your mouth)

12) May your prying eyes bug out far enough to fall out of your sockets!  (May your malicious stare [e.g., intimidating stare] strain your eyes enough to make them fall out [or—even though this may be going too far—cause you to go blind]!)

13) May your prying ears clog up and cause your head to explode [or—even though this may be going too far—be strained enough to cause you go deaf]!

14) May the teeth that you gnash at others be ground to their roots [or fall out]!

15) May you swallow your lashon hara and have nobody to stop you from doing so¹.

¹That one is probably actually not mine; or even if it is, it was inspired by the fact that someone on a long-since-taken-down website once understandably wished that an Anti Semite would swallow his or her own tongue.

Dealing With Sheer Libel And Slander As An Author And As A Person Overall

I've decided that I'm going to be more proactive in regards to libel and slander against myself and—when to do so is necessary—libel and slander against others. I have had being libelled and slandered over the years, and I have even confronted paternal and maternal family members over it. In fact, in my new book, I wrote the following about both lies that my maternal grandfather's mother told and a long-standing issue because of relatives whom are libelling and slandering me over it:

"Meanwhile, this alone (as I’m now realizing) helps to explain why I thoroughly and even defensively  explain quite a bit of what I explain—as if getting called “an overall liar” at Sheppard Pratt by a caseworker whom fell for my father’s lies about me wasn’t enough, having Nana Allen throw her younger children and their descendants for a loop really affected me to start laying out every detail of quite a few cases once I found out about being thrown for such a loop—and as if many of my matriarchs and patriarchs on Dad’s side didn’t do enough loop throwing, todah rabah (and their loop throwing was more understandable than her loop throwing, as—as I later read—the Inquisition ended in 1834, whereas increasing Anti Semitism still affects many of my paternal relatives loathe to admit that we’re Jewish—even to the point at which one relative is trying to paint me as an overall liar in regard to what my father’s maternal grandmother did, and notwithstanding that I can neither help what happened or conjure up evidence to fit the narrative of what he wants to believe what happened."

Here's my advice to anyone whom would be tempted to libel and slander others in the future:

1. Remember that even in the era of *****, verbal abuse such as libel and slander is never normal—and that includes what that Mila Kunis did in misrepresenting herself and using Mike Pence's name is not normal, even if the Supreme Court should rule (and there exists a very-real possibility that the SCOTUS will rule) that what Mila Kunis did is a protest that is protected by the First Amendment, despite that she committed misdemeanor-level representation at the very least (and I guarantee that any case against Mila Kunis will be appealed up to the Supreme Court).
2. As I've said, keep in mind I may well sue in certain cases in which I'm libelled and slandered, and I may even press charges of criminal libel and slander against those whom are libelling and slandering me—especially since some of the libel and slander that I've had directed against me has been tantamount to hate crimes and even included threats on my life.
3. If you insist on libelling and slandering others, see how well libelling and slandering others ends up working out for you when at least one of your libel and slander victims does end up suing you and/or having you prosecuted.
4. Remember that if you are especially trying to destroy others' livelihoods and/or reputations when you libel and slander them, you may well destroy your livelihood and/or reputation if your boss decides to fire you and you even end up not being able to find another job (By the way, Mila Kunis could well lose her career over representing herself as Mike Pence if the court of public opinion does not rule in her favor, even if the SCOTUS does.).
5. If you are religious in any way, remember that your religion usually include libel- and slander-prohibiting commandments such as "Do not bear false witness," "Love your neighbor as yourself", and "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." If you work in a religious occupation—e.g., as a priest, rabbi or gabbai, or moderate imam; at a YMCA branch, Jewish Community Center, or a Muslim Community Center; or for a religiously-affiliated 501(c)(3) organization—remember that you could also lose your job due to violating one of the core tenets of your religion. 
6. If you have children and/or others for whom you have to set a good example, remember that libelling and slandering others is not setting a good example.
7. Remember that when each of us dies, he or she will leave a legacy in which he or she probably does not want to include a reputation for having libelled and slandered others.

As for me, while I'm not perfect and without instances of having libelled and slandered others in the past, I have worked hard throughout my entire life to be circumspect in avoiding libelling and slandering others. 

Two Things That Everybody Needs To Stop Doing

1. Calling Da'esh "ISIS" or "ISIL". They hate "Da'esh" (or, as Arabic-speaking countries like Egypt call them, "Da'ish") & would love being called a state. 
2. Calling ***** "POTUS". Legitimate POTUSes are elected and don't use dictators, fellow aspiring dictators of theirs, and others to hack voting machines, intimidate and harass voters, or do what else ***** has been doing. 

More "Peedy" Mishaps And A Stubborn Cam!

As if Reilly's "peedying" in "Momma"'s bed wasn't enough, Reilly refused to "find a potty spot" when "Momma" took her to "peedy". Not only that, but she would've chased a butterfly to eat if "Momma" had let her chase it—and having licked her lips from eating "nasties" and watching that butterfly, Reilly was ready to consider that butterfly a snack!

As for Camille, she refused to even let "Auntie Nicole" get her harness and leash on her. She also chose to growl at her when she tried to reach into her crate to get her and get her stuff onto her, and she growled at her again when she took over grooming for "Mom-Mom" and had to roll her over on her belly!

As for Reilly in terms of grooming, in contrast, Reilly was a relative angel for "Momma" and got one treat for finally coming onto the couch and another for letting "Momma" groom her. Reilly also didn't leave a hashtag mark on "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" like Camille did:

Blue filter and circle for clarity. Original caption: "Hashtag: #YepCamsscratchesreallylooklikethat "

Cam desperately wanted the last part of the second treat for her, and at least "Auntie Nicole" was able to get one quick swipe at her with the electric toothbrush!

When "Auntie Nicole" Encouraged Bad And Smart Puppy Behavior, Etc.

Assuming that "Mom-Mom" is correct about why Camille looked out the window and barked before getting the wishbone toy at one point, Camille tricked Reilly to get her away from the wishbone toy. As "Auntie Nicole" recalls, Camille has also done this at least once before—and Maltipoos are definitely very intelligent and Camille is a ¾-Toy Poodle Maltipoo, she could very well be intelligent enough to trick Reilly like that.

Of course, "Auntie Nicole" went—through she as "Momma" apologized to Reilly before she went—and encouraged Camille with "Good puppy!" Mind you, "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma" thought about the implications of encouraging mean and seemingly-Tr**pesque behavior, although Camille has no Tr**pesque intentions or inclinations—besides, puppies of all ages are like two- to three-year-old humans, not malicious 70-year-old aspiring dictators whom deliberately make two- to three-year-old humans look mature in comparison.

By the way "Momma" and Reilly have even prayed to God for deliverance from D****d Tr**p from time to time when they say their prayers¹.

Also by the way, "Auntie Nicole" just remembered something regarding names and nicknames: "Mimi"/"Auntie Nicole" doesn't like when "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma" jokingly calls Camille "Camilla Barker-Paws", and she'll (as she did once) try a flat-falling response by calling Reilly "Reilly Palin" (at"Mom-Mom"'s suggestion). Clearly, she takes umbrage to a punny kind of nickname and follows up with an attempt to insult "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma" and Reilly by coming up with a nickname for Reilly that makes no linguistic or humoristic sense such as "Reilly Palin".

As far as "Reilly Palin" is and was concerned, by the way, Momma" even suggested that "Auntie Michelle" and "Mom-Mom" come up with something like "Reisy O'Donnell" if they were going to try to be insulting and punny, though—albe "Momma" doesn't agree with Rosie O'Donnell on most subjects—that's kind of hard when "Momma" does agree with Rosie O'Donnell about D****d Tr**p—albe for some differing reasons, as Tr**p is a RINO and Rosie O'Donnell sees him as a Republican (though this is another discussion¹).

¹And speaking of prayers, "Momma" has a quick message for a certain someone: ¡te extraño y amaría ver cómo Reily reacta a tí si (y, si Yejovah quiere, cuando) ella conocete algún día (y, si Yejovah quiere, algún día pronto)! Incidentemente, fuiste correcto con respecto a al menos algunos personas en Noticiario Fox: ojalá que pudiera que digo que no eras. Además, pudiera hablar contigo de estos temas—¡lo cual no pudeo hacer con dos paritdarias de Trump en la casa, y lo cual no pudeo hacer con Reily como puedo hacer con miembros de la raza humana! 

Update On Camille's Hebrew Name

For a name meaning "perfect one" ("Camille"), "Auntie Nicole" should've gone with "שלומית" ("Sh'lomit") or "שלמה" ("Shelemah")—both of which relate to "שלום". To not figure out that a name that means "perfect peace" took "Auntie Nicole" failing to consider and/or know:

1. Having at least two people with a Greek-English equivalent of "Shelomit" in the family—as if Camille wasn't already inadvertently named after another relative of "Auntie Nicole" and "Mimi", there you go.
2. "שלמה" ("complete", "whole", "full", etc..) as a derivative of "שלום".

To be fair, "Auntie Nicole"'s mind has also been a little fogged up by a case of possible RSV for a week and other contributing factors over the years¹.

¹Including long-standing heartbrokeness re to someone whom continues to leave "Momma" confused as to what he wants, and confusion and heartbreak only hurt "Momma"'s being a good "Momma" to Reilly—not to mention hurt "Momma" as a person overall—and speaking of perfect peace, ¡si solo él hablara con ella!...si Yejovah quiere, de todos modos.

Why Sexual "Assault" Isn't Really Assault—It's Worse!

"Sexual assault" is actually sexual battery. When I read the news about Abigal Breslin having spoken about being "sexually assaulted", I thought back to my days in criminal-justice college classes—and if only she had been assaulted as opposed to be both assaulted and battered!

Sexual assault—threatening any form of sexual harassment, including any form of sexual battery—is bad enough. Sexual battery is worse, and intentionally or unintentionally calling sexual battery "sexual assault" is mitigating what sexual battery, which is often to almost always preceded by little to no sexual assault whatsoever, is—and sexual battery (which I myself almost mistakenly just called "sexual assault" just now) can happen in the smallest amount of time and totally unexpectedly on the part of the victim.

For example, a woman who's walking up to her apartment complex may not see her rapist assault her as he stalks her—especially as he swiftly and forcibly grabs her, batters her, and physically batters her separately from having physically battered her when he sexually battered her. Similarly, the middle-school student at her locker may not see her perverse male classmate assaultingly hover behind her and reach his hands out to commit battery against her. Jennifer Christie had the first kind of case happen to her (except for that she was in a hotel and battered prior to being grabbed); and too many a female student has the second kind of case happen to her in real life, which is why "Malcolm In the Middle" demonstrated another art-borrows-from-life episode.

By the way, as I recall, I had an experience in which a middle-school classmate put his hand on my backside without my permission or before-it-happened knowledge; although I don't know who he was, and I just frankly nervous-laughed it off, as he did so when quite a few people were walking in the middle-school halls. With a crowded hall and the school being (at the time) Owen Brown...I'm lucky that it wasn't worse, as some forms of sexual battery are worse in degree and form than, notwithstanding that no form of sexual battery is lucky—and I was walking with a walker, so I wasn't exactly going to have time to fully deal with it.

In conclusion, then, let's stop being incorrect about what sexual assault and sexual battery are, since the only way that calling sexual battery "sexual assault" is correct is that it's politically correct—or at least what's thought to be correct in a politicultural or culturopolitical sense.

In Any Case, Camille's Hebrew Name Is Easier Than Reilly's; And...

"Camille Dominique"—per "Mimi", "perfect chosen one of God"—is...

1. מושלמת ("Mushlemet")
2. נבחרה-לאל ("Nikvarah-L'El") 
3.  מושלמת נבחרה-לאל ("Mushlemet Nikvarah-L'El")
4. Literally, "Perfect, she was chosen for God"

Google Translate, Milon, etc. helped "Auntie Nicole" greatly—nonetheless, coming up with Camille's Hebrew name was hard—and "Mushlemet" or "Nikvarah-L'El" might have sufficed, and "Mushlemet'el" may be controversial. As for Reilly's name...for starters, had "Momma" known that "Rose" is Vered...

Updated: Maybe it should be (שליחיה(ו—"Shliachyah(u)"—or (נביאהיה(ו—"Nevi'ahyah(u); or  "נבחרה מושלמת"—"perfectly chosen". Then again, Reilly has a middle name; though "Auntie Nicole" ("Momma" to Reilly) does not want to imply that Camille (or Reilly) is perfect, since only God is perfect.

(PS Speaking of names, "Momma" still won't reveal the name of whom she thinks her helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy" is. He'll have to confirm or deny "Momma"'s suspicions before she reveals it.)

The Vo-Cam-u-la-Ri: aka, The Reilly and Camille Lexicon—Well, At Least Part Of It

As "Momma" promised:

1. "Night nights": bedtime or evening nap
2. "Potty", "potty outside", "outside", etc.: self explanatory (📖), including the bathroom for the humans
3. "Peedy" and "poody": 📖.
4. "Nasties": including the two aforementioned items, hair, dust
5. "Num nums": food for them
6. "Speedy" (a name for a tire-shaped toy that has yellow bones), "Froggie" (the desqueakered frog toy), "Mr. Monkey" (the monkey toy that each got for Christmas), and "Buddy" (a puppy-shaped bottle-holder toy).
7. "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole": 📖
8. "Mimi"/"Auntie Michelle": 📖
9. "Mom-Mom": 📖
10. "Ms. [Whomever]", "Mr. [Whomever]", etc.: 📖
11. "No-no", "no-nos", etc.: 📖, including "nasties"
12. "Blankie": 📖
13. "Harness": 📖, including seatbelts for the humans "on a ride" (📖)
14. "My bladder and colon [or colon and bladder] are acting funny": "IBS flareup" (📖)
15. "Dentastick": used generically for a dental chew
16. "Riley treat [or "Reisy treat"]": 📖
17. "Birdie": 📖
18. "Scritch": 📖
19. "Belly rub": 📖
20. "The blessing": The Birkat HaKohanim (with "Yevarekhakh" and "v'yishmerekakh"—which "Momma" needs to correct to "yismerakh")  that "Momma" does for Reilly every night (or almost every night) before "going night nights" (and Reilly's been prone to lick the oil that she's been able to reach, which is a "No-No").
21. The word for which the possible definition will have to be self supplied.

"No Fox. She Wanted To Go After the Rabbit!"

Another pre-"night nights" "potty" session turned interesting. With "Auntie Michelle" already being exhausted and in dread because of a fox in the neighborhood, she became scared over a rabbit. Meanwhile, a certain furniece of "Auntie Michelle" wanted lapin for a midnight snack—not withstanding that she had a beef-liver treat the last time that she went "potty"!

By the way, "lapin" is the name of "rabbit meat"—and speaking of names for things, "Momma" plans to post a Vocamulari lexicon in another post.

PS:

1) In case you didn't see what "Momma" did there, "Vo-cam-u-la-ri". Now try to see what "Momma" did there.
2) There's one word which "Momma" doesn't plan to fully define yet, just in case she's wrong about the definition.

My Favorite Version Of "Hallelujah", Though I'd Change Some Lyrics—And A Few Reasons Why I'd Change Them

• I'd switch around "minor" and "major" and "minor fall and major lift".

• I'd change "but" to "though" for all of the verses
• I'd change Verse 3 to:

"Baby, I've been here before—I can't count how many times I've walked this God-damned floor—and this was all before I ever really knew ya"

• I'd add this verse (and if anyone is guessing, you're right that this is a "**** you" to Amy Grant's and her songwriters' incorrect theology—plus, an allusion to Job):

"The LORD, Who gives and Who takes away,

"Deserves my praise; that's all that I'll say—

"And as for your 'broken melody'—well, screw ya!

"And what you've done's worse than how I said

"'If Jesus really rose from the dead,

"'There's nothing 'better than a "Hallelu YAH!"'"

1. For me, this song doesn't have to necessarily be romantic (or at least exclusively romantic).
2. My paternal grandfather did not like music (or at least didn't like it until. as I found out later, his final days, to the surprise of my father and my grandmother. When he preferred to watch the live version of "The Sound Of Music" over a football game while he was in the hospital, my father told my sister and me, my father was thinking "Who are you?" and wondering if someone had taken Pop-Pop over.)
3. I think of every floor that I've walked one too many times (because of, e.g., OCD/Anxiety), and I think of everyone whom's tried to smugly (or however else) lord everything over me (whether they've been right or wrong). I have family members (including belated ones) whom insisted on wanting to think that they were right about everything, etc.
4. Even though (or because) I'm a Christian, I really dislike (and sometimes even hate, even though I shouldn't hate) the hypocrites and the Bible flouters like the "Better Than A Hallelujah" songwriters—even, e.g., Paul praised Jesus in his weakest moments and the Song in Revelation was a praise, even in so far as the martyrs were (and are, and will be) concerned.

By the way, I probably dislike the hypocrites that much because I'm a Jewish Christian—taking away the Jewish context of the Scriptures will automatically dilute the Holiness of Yehovah in the eyes of others, and taking away (for example) that David and others always (or at least overall) ended with praising Yehovah in even the psalms that were lamentations allows for songs that "are better than a 'Hallelu Yah!'"

Let's Clear Up One Matter...

Terrorists are not animals. Since animals behave better than terrorists, animals like Reilly would find the charge that terrorists are animals to be insulting to animals and all loving owners of animals.

At Least Knowing About At Least Something, Etc.

In other words:

1. "You can't do everything about everything, but you can do something about something." 
2. Doing something about something means knowing about an issue, listening to the right message in regards to it, and implementing that message. 
3. If, e.g., you spread a message, keep the message in its original context(s) and attack the problem (e.g., that someone is not getting that Fmr. Sec. Clinton risked national security) without attacking the person (e.g., To respond "No toss up for me! Hillary is an arrogant shrew!" is entirely inappropriate. There are better ways to rebuke, "The question for the rest of us is which side we find most disagreeable [re Clinton's Emailgate]. Right now it's a tossup.")

By the way, please help me do something by voting in regards to changing Baltimore City, its vicinity, and the whole of the Baltimore-Washington (Baltonnapolis) Area for the better. Besides, the Baltonnapolis Area is a very-affective and -effective area in terms of how the United States is.

Also, I did figure out how to redeem Matthew west's awful gentilization and robbery from Hillel (the robbery which will, of course, turn off many Jews and even gentiles from considering Yeshua. After all, "Thou shalt not steal." is a mitzvah for a reason.):

"If not me, then who?

If just me, not others

And you?

Right now, it's time for us to do something.

If not now, then when..."