My Own 25th Birthday, And a Scary Realization...

Now I'm 25 years old by both Biblical and Gregorian standards. Meanwhile, I (no pun intended) am stopped dead in my tracks by a horrifying realization: I am as old as Great-Granddad Czarnecki was when the 1929 Great Depression happened. Also, I just read about the hardly-explained suicide of Madison Holleran—and all while I had been browsing to find out the age of a public figure whose age was not given on Wikipedia. One thing really can lead to another!

At that point, reading about Miss Holleran's suicide led to my reading comments about it—including the evil-hearted one from "Bc". Typing a response to him made me realize (at least more of) what happened to Great-Granddad, etc. (Incidentally—or maybe not—the day-and-date scheme was the same in 1964 as it was in 2014. By the way, "50" and "25" are multiples of "25" and "five". The numbers in it all, too. Needless to say, numbers and patterns alone should prove that there are no coincidences in life.):

That's easy for you to say. Could you go in back in time and, e.g., talk to my Great-Granddad Czarnecki:

Born on October 24, 1904, he was a pogrom survivor who had to become a Crypto Jew, who lost his father (who, by the way, was an alcoholic and a terrible husband) when he was 17 going on 18, his sister Regina when he was 20 (and she was 16. She died of cholera [sic.].), his mother when he was 31 going on 32 (after he already had a complicated relationship with her), his firstborn son, and his youngest brother (who was a Holocaust victim whose cause of death was murder due to serving in the U.S. Military and being fatally injured by a Nazi soldier. He took almost 18 years to die, by the way, since that's how botched the surgery to remove the shrapnel from his head was; and he died from a schizophrenic reaction and a coronary occlusion). He also lost other siblings, all of whom died when they were infants.

Add to that, that he lost his three right middle toes and his leg up to his knee when he worked as a lawnmower operator at an apartment complex (and because he lost his previous job in the hard-hit Sugar Notch, Pennsylvania coal mines). The job losses and limb loss either affected the onset of or exacerbated his Depression, for which the medication that he took was ineffective.

So, after 60 years, a month, a week, and a day of pain (i.e., 21,954 days of pain), he attempted suicide; and although his attempt didn't work and he changed his mind at the last minute, his death certificate reads that he died of suicide by drowning.

By the way, the Great Depression began on his 9,131st day (his 25th birthday). He also had other pain (that is, besides what I mentioned, including how his 25th birthday was marred and the Pogrom of Pogroms thus far at that time—the Holocaust—began on that day).

You tell me, then, how willing he was to consider that, e.g., "tomorrow is another to borrow the words of some one else". Your lack of critical thinking, empathy, and compassion astounds me.

What a sobering reality! By the way, let me add what I originally commented:

Sure; expectations of perfection, etc. can affect the onset of Depression and suicide affected by Depression. Frankly, though, it does seem unusual (even weird). What didn't Madison tell?

By the way, I know that this isn't about me; although I have Depression, and my father's paternal grandfather, the maternal grandfather of my father's maternal grandmother, and two maternal uncles of father's maternal grandmother all committed suicide. My father's sister attempted suicide as well, and I ended up in Sheppard Pratt for threatening suicide (and there are days where the temptation of suicide still assails me.

So, I know from experience that more than just expectations of perfection, etc. had to be in play. Incidentally, I have never seen my great-granddad's suicide note; and I figured out that my great-grandmother's maternal grandfather (who was in his 50s when he died) committed suicide because I noted that two of his six sons (and two of his seven children) committed suicide (so, mathematically, for him to not commit suicide would have been impossible.

I will add other links later [6:04 PM EST].

The links have been added [10:45 PM EST].

The Type Of Matters That I Want To Bring To the Forefront, And...

I can't bring up those matters when I'm being crushed under the weight of my own burdens. For example:

Catholic teaching prohibits the use of artificial contraception but allows the use of the so-called rhythm method, where couples avoid unwanted pregnancy by planning sex on days during the woman's menstrual cycle on which she is less likely to conceive.

Then some wondered why I was furious when a Facebook friend suggested that I "[m]arry Jesus in [my] heart." As I told him, my family suffered enough under the Roman and Byzantine Catholic Churches. Need I bring up Great-Granddad's family again, for example? Besides, I know exactly what "marry[ing] Jesus" means:

1. As if I'm not already a Christian? Fur shanda! 
2. I saw when, for instance, the SSND women at UNDM had on wedding bands to represent that they were "brides of Christ" (and I was reminded of that term when I read The Staircase recently).

I told him quite frankly:

"Marry Jesus"? What; become a nun? I'm a non-proselytizing Jewish Christian; and quite frankly, my paternal family dealt with enough from the Roman and Byzantine (e.g., Russian Orthodox) Catholic Churches for centuries—which is why my and other branches became Anusim.

Also, this matter reminded me of why people complain about the Roman Catholic Church. After all, even Acts 15 prevents menstrual sex!  Again, my own paternal family dealt with enough from the Roman and Byzantine (e.g., Russian Orthodox) Catholic Churches for centuries—and part of that included watching and hearing as the Roman Catholic Church contradicted even the B'rit Chadashah, let alone (the rest of) Tanakh.

My Own Response To the SOTU Address of 2015

"Mr. President, with all due respect, I must sadly sum up your address as the following: promises with catches, at-maximum-half truths, and simply outright lies. I should also remind you that the Constitution states, 'He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union'. As I read that statement, I do not find it to mean, 'He shall at an annual interval give to the American people and his compatriots in the American government a self reaffirmation of his worldview and his Executive governance in light of the worldview.'"

What About "Falling Away", By the Way?

I was thinking again on the subject in Hebrews 6 and 10 today (and discussed it in light of a friend's status). Here's what I wrote later on the subject:

John 6:66, though, talks about disciples who no longer walked with Jesus. 1 Corinthians 3:15 also reads, "If anyone’s work is burned, he will suffer loss; but he himself will be saved, yet so as through fire."Congregation Yeshuat Yisrael has a wonderful study on this, by the way (Seehttp://www.yeshuatyisrael.com/Power.../Hebrews%20Dilemma.pdf). 

This might shed light on the Parable of the Sower: 

" 20 But he who received the seed on stony places, this is he who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy; 21 yet he has no root in himself, but endures only for a while. For when tribulation or persecution arises because of the word, immediately he stumbles. 22 Now he who received seed among the thorns is he who hears the word, and the cares of this world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and he becomes unfruitful. "

If Some Of You All Want To Keep Judging Ms. Dorvilier....

By the way, Google it, too. "Postpartum Depression violence". Some of you all need to grow up (at best) and/or get mental-health treatment (at "worst"/most). Also, do not buy that Postpartum Depression and violence have no link. Depression, let alone Postpartum Depression, can affect violence (including murder and murder-suicide). My father's paternal grandfather (not a Postpartum-Depressive man, let alone an untreated one, as far as I know) committed suicide because of Depression alone! How much more might a Postpartum-Depressive woman commit suicide and/or murder! In addition, I suggest that you keep silent if you have no clue about mental illness. After all, "Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding." (Proverbs 17:28, for Christians and so-called Christians—especially if you are Jewish. You well know that our fathers and mothers received all of Tanakh by the Second Temple Era). For everyone else, "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt."

Let me add, too, that I know about mental illness. I already explained enough about my mother's maternal grandmother's mother, did I not? I also explained enough my father's grandfather. Well, guess what? I inherited his Depression! I also inherited my father's OCD/Anxiety and ADD (He will admit to the ADD. He has yet to admit that OCD/Anxiety and Depression; though I clearly inherited his mental illnesses, and I remember those pill bottles that I saw in his now-former apartment. Let me tell you, now I know that not all of them were Vitamin B12 pills. I also have other memories that I did not think about at the time that they were present events.).

I, thus, know what I am saying. Therefore, I can open my mouth. I forgot to mention as well, and let me add, that my mother's paternal grandfather's father ended up in Springfield State Hospital due to Alcoholism. I also ended up in Sheppard Pratt once, and that's where I was diagnosed with Depression. I can give other examples as well, and now I am really going to tell the "some of you all" to shut your mouths and not say a damned thing about me—and I know that at least one of you thought that I was the fool in this case. I did not say that I am wise, by the way; so, you word twisters can really stop now (Do not think that I am clueless, either.).

I even suspect that quite a few of the "some of you all" are sociopaths and/or otherwise lacking compassion, critical thinking skills, and discernment as well. According to Fox News (who published an Associated Press article), "Authorities believe the mother doused her baby with an accelerant then set her on fire, Bewley said. They do not have a motive. The woman was taken into custody Friday night." Yet, some of you all have the hutzpah to cite "innocent until proven guilty" even in cases in which the motive is clear.

Postpartum Psychosis, Crime, Etc.

BTW, my sister wants to clarify that her rude background laughter had nothing to do with the subjects at hand, despite that I asked that she would be quiet while I made the video to which this blog entry applies.

Anyway, here are the statistics on Postpartum Depression and Psychosis:

1) http://www.apa.org/pi/women/programs/depression/postpartum.aspx

2) http://www.cdc.gov/mmwR/preview/mmwrhtml/mm5714a1.htm

(Please note that Black and other Non-White, Non-Hispanic women are affected the most.).

3) http://www.postpartumprogress.com/category/postpartum-depression-statistics

4) http://www.idph.state.il.us/about/womenshealth/factsheets/pdpress.htm

The original story is at http://www.theintell.com/news/local/baby-dies-after-being-set-on-fire-in-pemberton-woman/article_e40fb4a6-31e3-579e-841e-82d7ec100ccf.html

My Hebrew Birthdate(?)

I'm working on getting the correct date, though I have the date of 26 Tevet 5770 (really, 26 Tevet 5769). I was born on January 23, 1990, and I downloaded the Israeli New Moon Society archive table to find if January 1990 and Tevet 5749 coincided at all. Only three dates were listed for 1990, and none of them were in January of 1990. So, I wasn't going to find out what January 23, 1990 was.

I have been able to learn and observe, however, that the Biblical calendar (which factors in the Aviv Barley) and the P'rushi calendar coincide to some extent (and they actually sometimes exactly coincide. This month of Tevet 5774/"5775", they did not exactly coincide. I originally thought that they did, though I guess that I was tracking it on my own copy of the P'rushi calendar and put "Tevet 1 if not earlier.". I thought that my copy put Tevet 1 on December 23rd or 24th.).

So, then, here's what I've been able to calculate:

1. I originally thought that my Hebrew birthday was on January 18, 2015 at sundown.
2. I went back and looked at a moon-phases calendar (I originally tried the one from the Israeli New Moon Society. It didn't download.).
3. I looked at the traditional Hebrew date again.
4. I looked at the traditional start of Tevet 5749/"5750" (December 28, 1989. On December 29, 1989, it was the day of Tevet 1, 5749; since Hebrew days are evening-and-morning days.).
5. I saw that the New Moon was actually on December 29, 1989. 
6. So, then, began the count.
7. The conclusion....

I was born on Tevet 25, 5749. Thus, I will be 25 on....today. Well, Happy Birthday to me and a Peaceful Sabbath to all (ליום הולדת שמח ללי ושבת שלום לכולם.). Meanwhile, I took a while to calculate this since math is not my strongsuit. 

Depression, Dying In the Diaspora, and Likely Being An Alteh Moid (And Other Matters)

First with the schtick about dying in the Diaspora: well, an ex friend just died at 4:00 AM today. As I told my sister, "I keep telling you about dying in the Diaspora; you won't believe me" or something like that. To watch Yirimiyahu 8:1-7 continuously come true disturbs me. The ex friend was only in his 20s and had cancer, by the way.

Also, what about the four men murdered in Friday's terror attacks as well as Georges Wolinski murdered on Wednesday? Surely, some have to be looking at this and saying, "It is true: 'And death shall be chosen rather than life by all the residue that remain of this evil family, that remain in all the places whither I have driven them, saith יהוה צבאות.' Indeed, 'the stork in the heaven knoweth her appointed times; and the turtle and the swallow and the crane observe the time of their coming; but My people know not the ordinance of יהוה.'

"'And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all the peoples whither יהוה shall lead thee away.'" That's not supposed to exacerbate the MDD with which I suffer?!

Also, I can't get out of the Diaspora myself. Why? Besides what I wrote yesterday (See "To watch...true" above.), that I'm not married is a factor (and a painful one!)! Did that get into a debate as well, by the way!

Given the following, I may pretty much be doomed either way:

1. Each but for two of my maternal grandparents' post-natal children (including my late aunt Mary Carole) have been divorced and remarried at least once.
2. All of my paternal grandparents' post natal children have each been divorced once.
3. My parents are divorced (no duh!).
4. I have C.P., OCD/ADD, MDD, ADD, and IBS.
5. I'm 24 years old and going on to be 25 years old.

There are other factors as well. Being an undesirable, a divorce statistic, and still single at 24 years old, I'm likely to die an alteh moid. Comforting? No! Exacerbating my MDD? Yes! Having nobody to at least get me out of the Diaspora? Even more exacerbating my MDD!

PS As I was trying to write this whole blog entry, I had to stop for multiple long periods because I couldn't get a moment of quiet. Also, I was pretty much, e.g., shot down on explaining why Francois Hollande called Netanyahu's bluff. To live in a house in which I can't share much without being interrupted, shot down, etc. is all the rougher.

For People Whom Complain About Jews Leaving Europe

Why don't you go to Yerushalayim and carry Jews like me who are otherwise unable to make aliyah there? 
"Thus saith the Lord יהוה: Behold, I will lift up My hand to the nations, and set up Mine ensign to the peoples, and they shall bring thy sons in their bosom, and thy daughters shall be carried upon their shoulders. And kings shall be thy foster-fathers, and their queens thy nursing mothers; they shall bow down to thee with their face to the earth, and lick the dust of thy feet; and thou shalt know that I am יהוה, for they shall not be ashamed that wait for Me." [Yeshayahu 49:22-23, JPS 1917; with the Name put back in there]
"And I will work a sign among them, and I will send such as escape of them unto the nations, to Tarshish, Pul and Lud, that draw the bow, to Tubal and Javan, to the isles afar off, that have not heard My fame, neither have seen My glory; and they shall declare My glory among the nations. And they shall bring all your brethren out of all the nations for an offering unto יהוה, upon horses, and in chariots, and in litters, and upon mules, and upon swift beasts, to My holy mountain Jerusalem, saith יהוה, as the children of Israel bring their offering in a clean vessel into the house of the יהוה." [Yeshayahu 66:19-20, JPS 1917; with the Name put back in there]
And death shall be chosen rather than life by all the residue that remain of this evil family, that remain in all the places whither I have driven them, saith  יהוהof hosts.



I have C.P. and cannot drive. Do you really, think, then, that I can get out of the U.S. to Israel? Many of my brothers and sisters in Europe are in similar positions.

Also like quite a few of my fellow Jews, I am a Nazarene/Messianic Jew/Jewish Christian of Anusi descent; so, I have an even-harder time making aliyah, and I refuse to be thought of as only a gentile of Jewish descent—I intend to make aliyah as a Jew, since I am a Jew by ethnicity and denomination. In that case, then, I'd love to see Jewish and gentile Christian Zionists help us out and put actions where their mouths are. Shame on you if you make us choose death over life:

Are you really Christian Zionists, then, if you don't help especially Jewish Christians who otherwise couldn't make aliyah? Think about, for example, that we all are to "do good to all, especially to those who are of the household of faith." (Galatians 6:10, NKJV)

A "New York Times" Quiz On Lying And How I Did, Etc.

I got 7/10, as I predicted. Pretty darned good. After all, listening to the audio version, wanting to give the benefit of the doubt on some, having had the experiences that I've had, etc. help with that. Remember, e.g., my final conversation with my granddad was over the phone (audio) and he finally implicitly conceded our Jewishness. As far as I know (unless that quote particularly struck me), I was paying attention to every word (especially, "If we had any Jewish blood, I don't know about it.).

That may have also been the conversation (or it was probably one of the ones before) in which he said that he'd said that he'd tell me that "[I] disappoint [him]" all over again (though I think that it was the conversation in which he also mentioned his service at Ft. Knox when Great-Granduncle Ed [z"l] was there in 1957 [I think, since he was 19-20, anyway. Great-Granduncle Ed, meawhile, had served in World War Two.]). I know, too, that he talked about how days and nights were different during his childhood (e.g., Great-Granddad would come home from the mines, etc., an they'd all be in bed at 9:00 PM), unlike how "people go to bed at all hours of the night" (which struck me, I guess, because I tend to be a night owl).

I'm also trying to remember anything else. Anyway, you're usually able to tell when you've been through what I've been through, even via audio.

The Worst Of the Tragedies At Charlie Hebdo

Read the articles and do more research, and the worst of the tragedies at "Charlie Hebdo" will become very clear to you: a Holocaust survivor was the direct target of those who murdered 12, injured 11, and affected many others at "Charlie Hebdo". A survivor of the Nazi invasions into French Tunisia, Georges Wolinski (ז''ל והי''ד) moved to mainland France only to live into his 70s and avoid the fate that he could've had in what became a part of Vichy France. He was also the son of a Volyn'ska-rooted Yehudi Ashkenazi  and a Tunis-rooted Yehudit Mizrachit.

Wasn't that his paternal family endured horrors, including pogroms, at the hands of Imperial and Soviet Russia enough? Wasn't that has maternal family endured centuries of Anti-Semitic Arabocentrism enough (and he was a teen during the aliyot from Arab countries in 1948!)? Now he, also a son of survivors of Anti Semitism, became the victim of the Anti Semitism that he and his family were able to elude when Germany and the "Grand" Mufti (more like a "Satan Gadol") invaded one of the countries in which his maternal family had endured enough Anti Semitism, and to which his paternal family fled to escape Anti Semitism.

That, either an irony or a paradox created by G-d, is the worst tragedy at "Charlie Hebdo".

PS Vive le peuple de Yisra'el!

Public OpinionPoll Results

Speaking Of Stereotypes...

I had to deal with, quite frankly, slander against me because I pointed out that the policepersons who saluted their murdered colleagues had Black men among them. As I told her:

To assume that I put Michael Brown and Eric Garner in the same category is wrong. Also, I've even gone out of my way to support certain politicians because they are Black (e.g., Charles Lollar and Pinkston Harris. I'm glad that Larry Hogan has a Black Lieutenant Governor, Boyd Rutherford). I don't like the WASP and WEC mentality that some in the GOP have held for years. I come from Jewish families on both sides even (long story), and I've defended the Lemba Jews and Falasha Mura. As an Ashkenazi Jew from Crypto-Jewish families, I could easily back off and not defend the Lemba (who were slandered in a bogus study by an Indian oceanographer who claims that the CMH type that they have is not a kohen one). You can't assume, then, that I have contempt for Blacks.

I suppose, then, that I was stereotyped as much as she alleges that I stereotype Blacks.

To Rabbi Shmuel Rabinowitz At HaKotel b'Yerushalayim

Rabbi Rabinowitz,

Think of the song "Light One Candle". Part of the song goes, "Don't let the light go out; it's lasted for so many years." So have our people, 'Am Yisra'el, Ha'Or L'Goyim. We have lasted for millennia, ever since Yitzchak was conceived and born; and then Yitzchak conceived and had born to him two sons of his own, one of whom became Ya'akov Avinu.

Without Imoteinu, our coming forth and longevity as a people would have been impossible. Without achoteinu, habanot imoteinu, none of acheinu would have been able to conceive and have born to them successive dorot m'Yisra'el. Without further dorot m'Yisra'el, we would've died out as an 'am.

Therefore, your banning of HaNashot HaKotel is a chillul HaShem and a chillul zichronot ha'avot v'imahot. Even Ya'akov Avinu told even Imoteinu, "'Put away the strange gods that are among you, and purify yourselves, and change your garments; 3 and let us arise, and go up to Beth-el; and I will make there an altar unto God, who answered me in the day of my distress, and was with me in the way which I went.'" (From Bereshit 35, JPS 1917) Why do you, then, put away achoteinu as Imoteinu put away their strange g-ds?

Please consider whether to put away achoteinu, habanot Imoteinu, like Imoteinu put away strange g-ds is an avodah tovah. If it is an avodah tovah, then to have put away Imoteinu would have been tov, would it not have been?

Toda v'Chanukkah Tovah.

One Twitter Trend Which I Particularly Despise

Now I'm really beginning to resent that #followforfollow trend. As I've said, I don't do it (I follow who I want to follow); and I really resent those who unfollow me when I didn't even solicit their follow in the first place. They act like I played that follow-for-follow game and/or they usually unfollow me without even an explanation or a hint as to why.

I've had at least four people do it (I say "four" because four specific ones initially were on or came to the front of my mind.), and two of whom did so record. The one unfollowed me (today) pretty much as soon as he followed me (yesterday), and the other unfollowed me recently (as I found out). The two others unfollowed me a while ago.

Here's a trend for them (and others who treat other Tweeters as my unfollowers treated me): #unfollowforunfollow. 

Is "The Jerusalem Post" Ignoring History?

They apparently are. Then again, they may just be cutting it short. Still, isn't cutting off a part of history essentially ignoring it (at best)? (At worst, cutting off any part of history is either denial of it or even unspoken support of what happened at a point in it.).
Jeremy Sharon, the Post reporter who wrote the history in question, reported:

One of the most striking aspects of the 33rd Government of Israel was the absence of the two haredi parties, Shas and United Torah Judaism, from the coalition.
Since 1981, at least one of the haredi parties has been a coalition partner in 11 out of the 15 governments since that time.

Is he kidding?  Even though Shas was absent (or Rabbi Ovadia Yosef had been deceased since October 7th of last year, which Sharon himself reported) and United Torah Judaism was absent, that doesn't make "the absence of the two haredi parties" (or any other Haredi party) a fact! On the contrary, the Haredim have always been in the government since then-PM David ben Gurion gave Agudat Yisra'el power.
All one constituency needs is an umbrella or big-tent party to be in its government, and that constituency is there for as long as the party is there. In this case, Agudat Yisra'el has been in HaMemshalah Yisra'el since before the "Declaration of Establishment" was written.
Therefore, for Jeremy Sharon and The Jerusalem Post to claim that the Haredim were missing from even one of the Israeli regimes, let alone four, is dishonest and (at best) sloppy or even (at worst) yellow journalism.
How would it be yellow journalism? For starters, yellow journalism itself

was a style of newspaper reporting that emphasized sensationalism over facts. During its heyday in the late 19th century it was one of many factors that helped push the United States and Spain into war in Cuba and the Philippines, leading to the acquisition of overseas territory by the United States.

Therefore, to claim a Haredi absence is yellow journalism in its own sense. To state that "the two haredi parties" were absent is sensationalistically acting like the Haredim were entirely absent, after all.
Besides, Jeremy Sharon also noted that Rabbi Ovadia Yosef had appointed an heir∗:

Roi Lachmanovitz, a former Shas spokesman, said that the designation of Moshe as inheritor, in particular of the rabbi’s library and publishing rights, gives him increased influence within the Shas party and the Yosef family.
Lachmanovitz noted that it had been Yosef’s other sons who had been chosen for public roles. Rabbi Yitzhak Yosef was nominated by Yosef himself, before he died, to be the new Sephardi chief rabbi, and Rabbi David Yosef was appointed to the Shas Council of Torah Sages after the rabbi passed away.
“Moshe and his wife are returning to the center stage, because whoever has control of the books and library... can direct the [haredi] public, can tell the public what the rabbi meant. They will have increased status because of this,” he said.

In conclusion, Jeremy Sharon cut off 34-67 years of history (34 years counting from 1947-1981; 67 counting from June 1947-2014) and submitted a yellow-journalism article for The Jerusalem Post to print and publish (and apparently fell for his own revisionism).

Update (10:54:45 PM EST on December 8, 2014): Now here comes the "Told ya."

Here's Looking At You, Dad...And Pop-Pop, And Great-Granddad, And Whoever Else

This, again, is where the mixed feelings come in. I am staring at a picture of a notable actor. I am staring at a picture of a relative (I'm not joking. I said that "Danilovich" was a patronymic in his case. Then I saw the pictures, and I knew who Pop-Pop pretty much looked like. Right now, I see maybe who Dad will look like down the road.). I am also staring at a picture of the guy who raped Natalie Wood and murdered Jean Spangler.

What do you do when you know that your family wreaked havoc on the world and yet had some of the most-influential people come out from among them? Even my granddad, one of the three IRS Agents who served tax papers to Richard Nixon, came from the Daniloviches.

A long time ago, my aunt Mary (z"l) told me of the following exchange at a funeral:

*Fist slams on table* "Do you know what that Jack Czarnecki did today?"
"That's my father."
"Oh...I'm so sorry."
"No; it's okay—I agree with you.

And this coming on the day before the anniversary of Great-Granddad's suicide...




What the heck have we done?

My father's current wife with her late in-law father on her and my father's wedding day. She put this picture up after he passed away.

On the Rusnak Family Reunion Page. My dad is behind his wife and her daughter. The Rusnaks are another story, too, by the way; I'll just leave my description at that for right now.

And the mistaken obituary will be published for real soon. I guarantee you that. I guarantee you that since God finally did in Jack Czarnecki (and I have never backtracked from saying that), He will do in Kirk Douglas. Here's hoping, too, that Lana Wood can finally name her sister's rapist.

That shouldn't be said about a relative (ideally at least), although truth outweighs family loyalty—and in the end, might save the family in at least the next few generations. I know that the truth saved my generation (at least me and my sister), and I hope that'll it save the ones to come (for all sides of the Danilovich Family, too, might I add; not just "Katarzyna" Danilówiczowna Czerniecka's side, and certainly not just Kirk Douglas' side).

As an in-law Danilovich (my great-grandmother Mary Trudnak Czarnecki) told my Aunt Mary, "I want to talk about it." That's exactly what I myself intend to do as a Danilovich and as a human being, so that I don't see my family wrecked again or wrecking the world again—and so that many other families won't wreck themselves or the world again.

With 2014 and 5774 Almost Over...

A lot is already over and becoming over for me:

1. Right now, it's December 1, 2014 and Kislev 7, 5774. So, both the current Gregorian and Biblical years are almost over.
2. My Reilly just turned eight months old on November 25, 2014. So, her puppyhood is almost over. (I'm crying right now. Where has the time gone?)
3. The Kittleman campaign is over.
4. My chances at talking once more to some relatives are over. Granduncle Tony (z"l) died on July 31, 2014; and Grandaunt Bern died on November 20, 2014 (z"l). May I see them both at HaTechiyat HaMetim (Even though Mashiach seems to tarry, I wait for Him and hasten His Second Coming, as well as His return after the Tribulation. May Reilly and I be Raptured together, by the way; whether both of us are living or dead, or one of us is living or dead.).

There's also a lot of other times, matters, chances, etc. that are over for me. By the way, there is Scriptural proof that animals do have souls, although they have different kinds of souls. They either go into soul sleep, since their souls go down, or they wait in Abraham's Bosom (where hakedoshim had to wait until Mashiach died, rose, and conquered death) and certainly do not go up for judgement, since they can't reason like humans can.). Incidentally, someone on the Jews For Jesus forums along time ago pointed out that animals have souls per Bereshit 1; and I think that, that was a part of what got me eventually wondering if animals do actually have souls, and finding that (unlike plants), animals do have souls. Those who take the Jewishness out of Christianity (Nazarene/Messianic Judaism) and/or don't read Tanakh for what it is conclude that animals have no souls at all.

Meanwhile, I'm going to go give Reilly extra scritches.

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By the way, I've been blogging more at The Times of Israel lately.

Addendum To the Postcript In My TOI "Wuerker" Post

Addendum and disclosure: 

I'll admit that finding sources that are neutral about (e.g., neither hostile against nor favorable toward) Jewish Christians is hard (I try to use sources that, even if they're not Jewish Christian/Messianic Jewish, accept that there are Jews who actually believe in a Jewish man named Jesus as the Jewish Messiah. I don't want to support sources that are hostile toward Jewish Christians, given that I am a Jewish Christian). Sadly, I kept Googling and ran into well-written articles that came from hostile sources (e.g., The Jewish Daily Forward, despite that they concede that Jews are an ethnos. Their article about Jewish Christians by Rabbi David Wolpe and most comments on the article were incredibly hostile.).

If only there were more sources that were neutral, even sources from those such as Dr. Amy-Jill Levine, Rabbi Carol Harris-Shapiro, Dan Cohn-Sherbok, and Ya'akov Ariel. While I won't agree with all of their conclusions (e.g., Dr. Levine's conclusion that the New Testament does have Anti Semitism), I can be thankful that they at least accept Jewish Christians as Jews.

I will add, too, that for them to accept Jewish Christians despite that they've received backlash that's similar or equal to what we Jewish Christians receive takes a lot of ko'ach; and if only we were that strong in our faith, Emateinu HaMeshichi (and that phrase I had to only confirm with Google translate. The case was the same for "ko'ach" and some other words and phrases. ראה? אני לומדת. :-) )

(By the way, yes, I checked: there are forms of "re'eh" that I need to learn.).

Example From My TOI "Wuerker" Post and Disclaimer

(Disclosure: this is mostly for those who have read my "Wuerker" post, by the way.)

For example, I can talk about what a traitor George Soros is because I know the facts, verified what I've read, and had family members (albe that they were distant ones) affected by the Shoah. Glenn Beck, who had and has no history with the Shoah, again has questionable intent. By the way, I first found out about George Soros in Culture Warrior. When I did, I honestly had no clue that I am Jewish and a bat-Anusim, let alone that George Soros (at least in some sense) has the blood of my family members (Anusi and openly Jewish alike) on his hands

By the way, George Soros also has to answer for the murders of some Nagys, among others, might I add—and If you think that I'm stupid, etc., by the way, I am not. I darned well know that, for example, "Levai" and "Nagy" can be Jewish; I know about kinnuim, etc.. If you think that I get drek from only my family on that, you are sorely mistaken.

I always have to add a disclaimer like this because of the tsores I go through at the hands of people who want to plant doubts in my head, etc. I basically go through something like what my dad's maternal granddad went through—in his case, he was always shot down with "The only reason that you say that we're Russian is because you work for the Russian Orthodox Church." How Dad pretty much passed down the drek to me was very much in similar words—something like, " "The only reason that he say that we're Russian is because he worked for the Russian Church.""

He worked for a Slovakian Byzantine Catholic Church in Swoyersville, Pennsylvania; and his father and mother were Anusim by the names of Gajdosz and Uszinsky—and let me tell you, he knew what he was saying. He never outright said that we're Jews, and that's because he would've been given a harder time. Let me add, too, that his parents never Magyarized their names—"Gajdosz" remained "Gaydosh", as opposed to "Gaydos"; and "Uszinsky" remained "Ushinsky", as opposed to "Usinsky".

Also, a Anusit Sefardit also got similar drek from her mishpachah; so, I'm not the first person to whom historical abuse (e.g., mental and verbal abuse in light of historical facts and findings) has happened. By the way, I can't find that example, though I remember reading it. I Googled and found plenty of other examples (including Susan Jacoby's! Who knew?)

Update (November 16, 2014 at 9:28 PM EST): Also see the following message (which I was writing when Shockwave crashed and I had to make the message a two-part video series):

Even If Nobody Else Is Saying This...

Quite honestly, I wonder if it didn't have to do in part with the Haredi constituency in New York City that follows Yevamot 62b. Sure, this Vietnamese couple made their argument; nonetheless, was someone also trying to appease the Haredim?

"Our Rabbis taught: Concerning a man who loves his wife as himself, who honours her more than himself, who guides his sons and daughters in the right path and arranges for them to be married near the period of their puberty, Scripture says, And thou shalt know that thy tent is in peace.49  Concerning him who loves his neighbours, who befriends his relatives, marries his sister's50  daughter,"

Incidentally enough, I had no clue that it was that specific. I just knew about the reference. Anyway, don't kid yourself; the Haredim have a very-strong presence in New York City (e.g., Williamsburg, Crown Heights). By the way, the decision reads in part:

There is no comparably strong objection to uncle-niece marriages. Indeed, until 1893 marriages between uncle and niece or aunt and nephew, of the whole or half blood, were lawful in New York. And sixty years after the prohibition was enacted we affirmed, in May, a judgment recognizing as valid a marriage between a half-uncle and half-niece that was entered into in Rhode Island and permitted by Rhode Island law. It seems from the Appellate Division’s reasoning in May that the result would have been the same even if a full uncle and full niece had been involved. Thus Domestic Relations Law § 5(3) has not been viewed as expressing strong condemnation of uncle-niece and aunt-nephew relationships.

I wonder, too, if that's why some Haredim immigrated to New York. They may not have been literate in haleshonot l'goyim, though they still knew what was going on. Remember that back in Krasne nad Krasnopol, Wojciech and Marianna Krusznyska Danilowicz were smart enough to claim negligence in baptizing Katarzyna—by the way, Jews did use and even adopt shemot hagoyim; though I'm not sure if we'll ever know the real names of "Katarzyna" et. al.. "Marianna" is probably the one real name, though, since that's "Miryam Chanah".

As for their cousin Rochla (and I'm definitely not fooled in light of this, since Aleksandria listed Katarzyna as her in-law mother and nearest relative, even though they were not talking to each other after Julian and Aleksandra became Anusim), she came to New York with enough English literacy (or maybe she talked to a customs official who could speak Yiddish) to get into New York (Her aunt had to pick her up; so, who knows?).

By the way, all of Great-Granddad's families stuck together in Northumberland County, PA, too (Look it up. If you're too, quite honestly, lazy to do it, I'll give you the names and links to searches for "Czarnecki", etc.; "Danilowicz", etc.; "Andrulewicz". etc.; and "Margiewicz", etc.. Otherwise, you're on your own from there. I've proved myself enough—and I don't need that "Both sets of parents?" argument again, since Alexandria gave her parents' name as "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" as well. As far as I know, that neither is my fault nor was the fault of Great-Grandaunt Alice. I didn't even know that Great-Granddad's parents were here—let alone Crypto Jews who escaped the pogroms—until I was close to 20 years old, and she was simply writing what her mother told her to write. So, I wouldn't even be counted in an Israeli Census before then, and she was a bat chayil.

Anyway, back to my point (since I just needed to say all that in case I would get the "That's not enough evidence," "That's coincidence," etc. arguments): since Haredim are (as I must mention, in case one didn't know that Haredim are) very much a constituency in New York City (and, thus, New York State) and knew enough to immigrate to the "treif medina", could they somehow have played into "Nguyen v. Holder" (2014), even if quietly? After all, I perhaps would darned well consider that if I were a Second Circuit Court judge—especially if I wanted to get reappointed, and even someday appointed to the Supreme Court (As is known, elective politics plays even into appointive politics.).

Let's not be fooled: if (and since) Katarzyna's parents could (so to speak) pull strings to be under-the-radar Anusim, and Rochla knew enough to get into New York, the Haredim could and do know enough to (at least if they wanted) play into a gentile case that has implications for Haredi Jewish tradition.

Let me conclude one incidental observation as well: "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" seem to be to Poland as "Juan" and "Maria" are to Mexico.

147 Years Ago Yesterday, And The Disastrous Effects Which It Affected

On November 2, 1877, a newborn boy named András Rusznák was baptized. András was apparently just another Slovakian boy being baptized in Zlatá Idka, Slovakia (then Aranyida, Ausztria Magyarország) on, of all days, All Souls' Day. So, he allegedly was a newborn boy of Slovakian ethnicity being baptized on a special day. What's the big deal, then?

The big deal is this boy was neither a Slovakian ethnic or a real recipient of the Sacrament of Baptism. Speaking of souls as well, his parents' souls were not even into baptizing him at all. Furthermore, they themselves were נשמות אנוסים—forced souls. They weren't even there in Aranyida to be there.

They were there because they, Jakub and Marysia "Maria" Nováková, were בני אנוסים who just didn't feel comfortable returning to the shtetl of Kassa (now Košice) in nominally-religious-freedom-supporting Ausztria Magyarország (In fact, a Levite like Jakub—a kohen by the name of Fritz—would become an אנוסים in the next century. So, supposedly-tolerant Ausztria Magyarország wasn't so tolerant after all, and apparently became worse by the time that Fritz Kohn "Kerry" was persecuted.). 

András Rusznák himself, however, did leave Aranyida, though he also didn't return to his ancestral shtetl. He, with a Molnár cousin, immigrated to the United States and lived no differently than Jakub (the son of אנוסים György "Kvetkovits" Rusznák HaLevi and Erzsébet Rusznáková née Molnárová) had lived in Ausztria Magyarország—that is, he lived as an אנוסי. After he did that, disaster struck.

András came to the United States in 1902 and never thought that he would receive a letter from his Kassa-residing cousins, let alone one in which a request for help was written. 40-42 years later, however, that kind of letter was received by him and his daughter Mary Rusnak Gaydos. Thus, the boundary that was erected by the Kassa relatives' sitting שבעה was broken—or so the Kassa cousins hoped. 

Besides, they weren't sending a letter of reconciliation. They were sending a letter for העזרה לענין פיקוח נפש—help for the sake of piku'ach nefesh. They weren't looking after just themselves, either—they had families for whom to care and cousins who also had families, and family members in הארץ ישראל (which the Nazis and the Grand Mufti [ימח שמם] were targeting in their Middle Eastern invasion). 

As I alluded to, disaster then struck. András Rusznák (now Andrew Rusnak) and Mary Rusnak Gaydos, in order to cover that they were Jewish and follow the isolationist policy of the United States under Anti-Semitic Franklin Roosevelt (ימח שמם)—ceased all correspondence with their Kassa cousins, most of whom were murdered in השואה (Andrew's and Mary's kind of attitude, by the way, also had affects on the S.S. St. Louis Incident.),

Then Andrew, now the widower of  Julia Fosko Rusnak (née Juliana Foczková, ז'ל) was stricken with cancer and died of it. By the way, Julia (an אישה צדיקה and a לוית צדיקה) was taken before she had to see all that would befall her husband and her oldest child. After that, Andrew and whoever wrote his obituary (presumably Mary) decided to invent a fictional brother for Andrew (Stef) and lie to Andrew's son Carl (an איש צדיק) , who was charged with filling out with his father's death certificate.

As for the disasters that befell Mary—well, I can safely say that, for example, having a granddaughter who attempted suicide and living to attend the funeral of her great-grandson who drowned count as two disasters (She died in 1992, just after the deceased great-grandson's sister was born, by the way. The decedent drowned in 1991. So, she was alive when a descendant died and didn't live to see another descendant grow before her eyes.). 

By the way, all I received were evasive answers when I asked further questions about the supposed uncle of Mary, who allegedly wrote a letter to her in 1947. Also, there is no baptism record for him. So (so to speak), another hole was shot into that "Relatives wrote letters to ask for money, and she stopped writing" סיפור פיות. 

So, what's the point? The point is the point that I made on Twitter, and this account is a case in point:

[F]orcing someone against his or her will always ends in disastrous results somewhere along the line.

     

"Imma Rize": A Short Story About a Nun With a Humorous Name (And a Cousin With a Sense of Humor)

Her name was actually Khava Reisz. She was from Obudai, Magyaroszag. However, she took the name "Ima Reis" ("אמא ראיס", "Mother Reis") when she left Obudai after she had become a nun and went to Bremen. From Bremen, she immigrated to Baltimore as "M. Eva Reis"; and she didn't use "Eva"—much less "Khava" ("חוה")—otherwise.

Therefore, nobody knew how to mark her gravestone—much less her makeshift gravestone for the time being—when she lived out her full years and died at the age of 110 years. What they could clearly write on the stone, however, was "1802 to 1912", since they knew that much.

Otherwise, they had to write what they could write about her. Thus, they wrote "Imma Rize". Similarly, they wrote "Earl Lee Rizer" on her cousin's gravestone. Earl, too, by the way, lived a long life. However, he lived to only 91 years of age.

Nonetheless, he could fill them in on the details of his years before he died, and he made an attempt to fill them in on what he could of his cousin's life.

"...And on my matzevah—the thing that you gentiles call a gravestone—simply mark 'Earl Lee Rizer'. I've left the other instructions in my will. As for my matzevah, that isn't the really-fancy part. After all, I can fill you and everybody else in at the Resurrection—if there even is one. Nonetheless, all you and anyone else need to know in this lifetime is that my name was 'Earl Lee Rizer'; I had a sense of humor, and I lived for 91 years.

"As for my cousin—the one that you call 'Mother Reis'—she'll probably die soon, too. I was born in 1806, and this year's 1897. So, she'll probably die in this 95th year of hers—after all, I'm younger than her and dying in my 91st year.

"Anyway, you asked me to fill you in on the details about her—since we all figure that she's going to die, and she is obviously quite secretive. Then—and spare me, for I haven't much breath—here are the details for which you asked—or at least which I can provide, anyway.

"After she became what everybody else considered a meshumadah—a Jesus-following apostate—I was the only one who was willing to take her in when she emigrated from Bremen. She came here in 1850, and I was already here since 1847. Thus, she lagged only three years behind me.

"After she immigrated, she and I went our separate ways once I took her in and she was processed by the immigration authorities. I went to Temple; she went to the Hebrew Christian church and convent up on only-God-knows what street. I lived out my life as a regular man and Temple member; she lived out her life as a Jewish Mother Superior—though such seems a contradiction, when it is actually just quite a paradox—at least she was a Jewish mother! Incidentally, she did remind me of the verse wherein the prophet states that a husbandless woman has more children than a husbanded one; and she believed that, that applied to all nuns, and not just abbotesses.

"I must relate this anecdote as well: she and her community celebrated Yom Kippur—the Jewish Day of Atonement—in the most-fascinating way. We believe in fasting for our atonement; she believes in Jesus as hers. Nonetheless, she—with her community, and like us—fasted on Yom Kippur. However—and this is the fascinating part—she and her community would prepare for Communion after sunset in a fashion similar to how the priests made atonement in the days of the Solomonic and Zadokite Temples. Whereas the priests would enter the Holy of Holies and perform all of the atonement rituals and rites, the Hebrew Catholic priest would wave incense before the cross on the wall behind the altar and then sprinkle all of the vestments, articles, and furniture with some of the wine that was to be used in the Communion ceremony. Then, at sunset, the priest and his deacons would administer Communion to the congregation.

"I cannot say that she did not live an interesting life—perhaps living interesting lives is within our family. After all, I lived an interesting life—part of my life, of course, includes my having changed my name from 'Berl Ari Reisz' to 'Earl Leo Riszer', to just 'Earl Lee Rizer'. I was an early riser, by the way—I took the advice of the American founder Benjamin Franklin seriously. Also, Benjamin Franklin himself knew what I know—that, as King Solomon observed, only the sluggard will not rise at all, for he will even make the excuse that a lion roams the streets!

"Perhaps that's why 'Ima Reis'—'Mother Reis'—may, as I have heard, change her name to 'Imma Rize'—as I alluded to being an early riser, so she will allude to her belief in the Resurrection of the Dead. Also, she—from what I understand—heard a Negro man singing something along the lines of 'I'm-a rise when Jesus calls-a me up from the ground....'—and that had her thinking."

With that said, Earl Lee Rizer breathed his last breath and died at the age of 91 years. Thus, his gravestone read as he stipulated that it should read: "Earl Lee Rizer". However, the stonecarver also engraved Earl's birth and death dates. Therefore, the gravestone read in full, "Earl Lee Rizer, 1806 to 1897".

As for Mother Reis' gravestone, it read:

"אמא ראיס, 1802-1912, עם 62 שנות בעבודה לישוע אדוננו"—

"Mother Reis, 1802 to 1912, with 62 years in the service of Jesus Our Lord."

This was all forgotten, however, when a flood came through the cemetery and left the gravekeepers to put up makeshift gravestones. Thus, Mother Reis' makeshift gravestone read as her cousin Earl suggested that her gravestone should read—with, of course, the death date being different than the date that Earl supposed:

"Imma Rize

"1802 to 1912".