Originally On Quora: If I Had A Child With Diplegic Spastia...

Truth be told, I’d honestly not hold my breath and expect his or her father to stay or otherwise not abuse him or her especially because he or she has DSCP. I’m honestly surprised at the previous answers, as I honestly expected to see the same ableist and when-push-actually-comes-to-shove—with the answerers, though, I’m not holding my breath, as saying that you wouldn’t be ableist is a lot different than actually having a child with any disability—let alone DSCP—and seeing if you mean that you won’t be ableist.

With 28 years of DSCP after a neonatal stroke due to premature birth, I am not trying to be funny or ugly—though plenty of people in my life have ugily tried to amuse themselves at my expense.

What Real Journalists Do WhereIn Mental Illnesses Such As Addictions Are Concerned, And As I Made Clear To Rianne Addo Herself

Real journalists have the following duties wherein mental illnesses such as Alcoholism are concerned:

1. To report mental illnesses for what they are—illnesses that nobody chooses, not comedic fodder.
2. To report specific mental illnesses such as addictions for what they are—not, for example, "penchant[s]", "extreme liking[s]," or "fondness[es]" for agents that may even fatally affect the sufferers of the addictions in question. For those with addictions, agents such as alcohol are always fatal if the persons with the addictions to them do not choose to abstain from them.
3. To report exactly how severe throes of mental illnesses can be. In the case of addiction of alcohol, the throes can be quite severe.

If Rianne Addo were a real journalist, she would never call mental illnesses such as Alcoholism "penchant[s]", "extreme liking[s]", or "fondness[es]" when no person whom had the ability to reason or control himself or herself would ever have a penchant, like, or be fond of doing the following to himself or herself—and people whom are in the throes of Alcoholism are deprived by Alcoholism of being able to reason and control themselves in regards to matters such as:

1. An inability to function on a day-to-day, and even moment-to-moment basis, without any excessive amount of Alcohol
2. Binge drinking that is never appropriate to call "a weekend bender" or any other kind of "bender", as such drinking can overload and overwhelm the liver
3. Irreversible breakdowns of familial and professional relationships
4. Joblessness, homelessness, and entrapment into financially-abusive, emotionally-abusive, and other abusive relationships a result of the irreversible breakdowns of professional and familial relationships 
5. Illnesses in addition to Alcoholism and the exacerbation thereof, including Cirrhosis of the Liver that results from and remains comorbid with Alcoholism even if a person with Alcoholism is no longer in the throes of the Alcoholism (i.e., even if he or she has sought treatment for Alcoholism and remained sober).

As I told Rianne Addo herself, real journalists remind other people why mental illnesses such as addictions to alcohol are called "mental illnesses", not use those illnesses as comedic fodder while sufferers of mental illnesses are in the far-from-funny throes of mental illnesses that may even kill them—and as I said last night, Alcoholism may certainly kill Ricky Gervais (not to mention kill him at the same age at which it killed my aunt) if those such Rianne Addo and Ricky Gervais' apparent loved ones continue to find humor in his humorless Alcoholism.

Who's Laughing Now? Mental Illness Is Not Funny, And Ricky Gervais' Alcoholism Is Certainly Not Funny

Remember that addiction is a mental illness, and this is all too common of a sentiment among those with addictions: i.e., the sentiment "I like it too much, I'm not going to give it up" is too common. In fact, my own aunt eerily told my sister that she herself would "quit drinking when [she died]." She unfortunately died of Alcoholism in June of 2008 at the age of 56, which is Ricky Gervais' current age, and may have been 57 in November of that year had she'd been able to get treatment for Alcoholism—and who knows if Ricky Gervais won't share her fate almost a decade later ☹?

What disturbs me is that the "Daily Mail​" seems to see nothing disturbing about anyone, let alone a prominent figure, sending the message that there is nothing wrong with refusing to attempt to get treatment for mental illnesses even when one has the resources to get such treatment. As for Ricky Gervais' loved ones, I find what they're doing perhaps even more disturbing: they seem to be quite content with not wanting to try to help him get help. In contrast to my family whom did try to help my aunt get help, they seem to encourage him to, for example (and as he related), "[wet] himself after six pints of Guinness during a weekend bender."

Regardless of whom has (a) mental illness(es) or what a given person's mental illness(es), nothing is funny or encouragable about allowing someone to be overtaken by a mental illness.

PS My great-great-grandfather Julian Czerniecki (later Julian Czarnecki), whom was born on December 24, 1875 in Polish Russia, was also besieged by Alcoholism, and I don't know when Alcoholism onset for him. What I do know is that the Anti Semitism—and other persecutions and hardships—that he faced in Polish Russia (which he left after the Belostok Pogrom) and in the United States affected an exacerbation of his Alcoholism (and if you think that having to pretend to be a Polish Catholic and settle in out-of-the-way Sugar Notch in order to survive isn't hardship, don't kid yourself¹).

I also know that Great-Great-Granddad Czarnecki was not help as exacerbated Alcoholism (not to mention other mental illnesses, including Depression) besieged him. I have seen, heard, and lived that "Hurt people hurt people" cycle partly because of that; and that is party of why I find disturbing that the "Daily Mail" and those whom apparently love Ricky Gervais want to see him beseiged by a mental illness and perhaps even dead from it.

By the way, the aunt who died from Alcoholism was a maternal aunt; so, Alcoholism is actually on both sides of my family—that of course makes even more disturbing to me what the "Daily Mail" and Ricky Gervais' loved ones are doing, as they are basically saying that they'd like that both people like Ricky Gervais and people on both sides of my family to die of mental illnesses.

I guess that I shouldn't be surprised, though, given how ableist society is and how society hates both famous and non-famous people with disabilities such as mental illnesses.



¹He also had the hardship of being born on a date when Pseudo Christians persecuted the very people of Jesus—whom many of them ironically called "Jeszua", pronounced "Yeshua", by the way—imagine having to live your life never knowing if you'll make it to your next birthday because people whom claim to be celebrating the birth of Jeszua want to commit ethnocide against the very people for whom the New Testament says that Jeszua is Messiah first.

Abuse Is Never "Normal Stuff", Even In the ***** Era

"I'm beginning to think you...crucified your father for normal stuff!"

Without going into details about what affected that statement for whatever reason, I will say that I was appalled when someone said that to me—abuse is never "normal stuff", and all kinds of abuse are out of the norm—at least in a reasonable and decent society, abuse is (relatively, anyway) out of the norm.

No society in this world is going to be entirely reasonable and decent. After all, as Thomas Hobbes observed, life is short, nasty, and brutish; and "kings and persons of sovereign authority, because of their independency, are in continual jealousies and in the state and posture of gladiators, having their weapons pointing, and their eyes fixed on one another, that is, their forts, garrisons, and guns, upon the frontiers of their kingdoms, and continual spies upon their neighbours: which is a posture of war. "

That nonetheless does not cause any kind of abuse to be "normal stuff", regardless of whether it's the kind of abuse that I endured from my father (which at least, thank God, was never sexual abuse) or the following examples of abuses that others have endured:

1. The "casting couch"—Harvey Weinstein's and others' victims did not want (let alone ask) to be sexually harassed and abused; and they shouldn't have to choose between careers and being abused, between silence to avoid further abuse and between speaking out and enduring further abuse, or between anything else and abuse. Having to choose between anything and abuse, by the way, is being put in an abusive position.
2. The "condolence" call that Myeisha Johnson received. What ***** stated was basically, "Your husband knew why he signed up, and we can never repay him or any other American military member whom sacrifices his or her life for the United States; so I'm not even going to try to repay what I can."
3. The follow up to the "condolence" call. Especially Myeisha Johnson did not need libel and slander against her; and Representative Frederica Wilson did not need the libel and slander, either.
4. The threats of racist and sexist violence against Congresswoman Wilson—as I said, abuse is neither normal nor in the norm in a reasonable and decent society, which is not the kind of society which Congresswoman Wilson's abuser would like to bring back.

In conclusion, then, only abusive societies have ever treated, ever treat, and will ever treat abuse as normal and normalizable. 

So, At Least One Elderly Person Died In Her House During Hurricane Harvey's First Days In Houston...

Whatever language you speak:

1. No, people! Check on your neighbors!
2. ¡No, pueblo! ¡Cuidan a tus vecinos!
3. לא, אנשים! ואהבת לרעך כמוך!

As I recall, the woman was 83 years old and couldn't just leave Houston! Thus, everybody in Hurricane Irma's path whom can help others needs to help those whom can't just evacuate from their homes and whom otherwise can't help themselves! 

A Woman Whom Abused Her Puppy? Or Did She Have A Severe Mental-Illness Flareup?

I wonder if she has severe mental illness such as Bipolar or Schizoaffective Disorder. Before people judge her as "trash", they need to remember that people with mental illnesses such as  Bipolar and Schizoaffective Disorders act highly unusually during mental-illness flareups. My sister has a friend whom may have Schizoaffective Disorder and even got him- or her-self in academic and legal trouble as a result of a mental-illness flareup, for example (He or she is known to have Bipolar Disorder for sure.). 

Meanwhile (and those who have read my blog previously know this), my great-great-grandmother Alexandria Czarnecki was known as "a holy terror" and "a tough cookie" whom almost caused my great-grandmother Mary Czarnecki to have a mental breakdown. Only when I saw my great-granduncle Bernie Czarnecki's death certificate did I figure it out: Great-Great-Grandma had Schizophrenia (the other mental illness of which Schizoaffective Disorder is comprised). As far as I know, Great-Granduncle Bernie was the only of my Czarnecki great-granduncles and great-grandaunts to have had it, by the way; and Great-Granddad Czarnecki seems to have not had Schizophrenia (He did have suicide-affecting Depression, though; so, he was not completely lucky in terms of escaping mental illnesses. He had his own struggles.).

Behaving-Hypocritically Reilly 😞, And Camille The Blankie Dominator and Yogurthead

Leave to Ri to growl at Cam and—as "Auntie Michelle" observed—for being impatient at "num nums" time, and then barking like she's doing as "Momma" types and hasn't stopped since she came in from going "potty". Also leave to Ri to:

1. Give "Momma" a hard time in trying to take her "potty" prior to her walk—and not letting her get her harness and leash on her at all—and at least "Auntie Michelle" acknowledged that blaming "Momma" for Reilly's running in the opposite direction , etc., was (as "Momma" put it) "insensitive bull****"—"Momma" can't run and catch or corner Reilly!
2. Trying to chase a squirrel and eating "nasties" at an earlier time that she's going "potty"
3. Misbehaving on her walk, as "Auntie Michelle" reported

Reilly's misbehavior is disendearing and disingenuous—"Momma" gets that puppies are like toddlers, and she nonetheless knows that Reilly knows better than to inappropriately bark, eat "nasties", chase squirrels, and otherwise misbehave.

As for Camille, she was misbehaving for a bit as well—she tried to, eh, dominate her blankie as usual; and she growled at Reilly yesterday when Reilly tried to play the "Find the Toy In the Blankie" game (and Reilly continues to be afraid of Camille when Camille does that, despite that Ri has the right to keep her mind sharp by playing, too). She also was not patient in waiting for "Auntie Nicole" to drop the blankie:

Reilly finds Camille "weird".

Meanwhile, Reilly surprisingly did not lick Camille's head when some yogurt accidentally got on it—and even left a Harry Potter-scar shape. Cam tried to lick it, though, and licked whatever fell off of her head—of course, she wouldn't let "Auntie Nicole" exactly take a picture or wipe the yogurt off of her head—and she decided to wipe her itchy head on the chair covers.

PS Again, that "Momma" has a hard time managing Reilly due to her disability is part of why "Momma" needs a helpmate and a "Daddy" for Reilly—and if he is who she thinks that he is, he has to contact her, since she doesn't quite know what he wants.

"Momma" Worries For Reilly & Herself As Life Continues To Close In On Her And, Thus, Reilly

In an article that "Momma" read recently, the article's author quoted Dr. Brené Brown: 

"Waking up every day and loving someone who may or may not love us back, whose safety we can’t ensure, who may stay in our lives or may leave without a moment’s notice, who may be loyal to the day they die or betray us tomorrow—that’s vulnerability."

Puppies—including adult puppies—are truly as loyal as any creature can be. Meanwhile, especially when humans get in the way of that loyalty can be incredibly frustrating—especially when the humans who get in the way do so because they take advantage of a more-vulnerable human—as "Momma" is typing this, for example, "Auntie Michelle" is deliberately holding off from bringing Reilly downstairs to take Reilly potty. 

"Auntie Michelle" darned well knows that she wouldn't take advantage if "Momma" did not have Cerebral Palsy, because she couldn't take advantage(!)—unless "Momma" had another physical disability (whether a visible one or an invisible one, and whether another neurophysical one or a non-neurophysical one) and provided that "Momma"'s mental illnesses weren't debilitatingly flaring up, "Momma" could safely take Reilly out at night. 

"Momma" has also told "Auntie Michelle" and "Mom-Mom" this—i.e., that they couldn't take advantage of "Momma" re Reilly if she didn't have a physical disability—several times—and they know deep in their hearts that they do it even if and when they do it subconsciously.

That's part of why "Momma" blogs so much about Reilly needing a "Daddy" and "Momma" needing a helpmate. By the way, speaking of a "Daddy" for Reilly and a helpmate for "Momma", "Momma" recently wrote:

"While "Momma" has some ideas about whom Reisy's "Daddy" might be (or at least whom she hopes that he might be), she's not sure that she's currently—and she's more sure that she's currently not—in a position to share her specific thoughts about that with anyone but God, Reisy (even though Reisy is a canine—specifically, an adult puppy known as a "dog"—as opposed to a human), and a few other people. If anything, the case seems to be that whoever Reisy's "Daddy" is might have to tell "Momma"—especially if he's among those whom "Momma" thinks strongly might be Reisy's "Daddy"."

That's part of why "Momma" requoted Dr. Brown—and whether she has to look or has already found him, she still has to wait either way. 😒

A Reminder That A Cousin's Cousin Inspired Me To Give

I normally don't do this; so, bear with me:

To all of my Facebook friends and others, I'm asking you to think about this (as a friend of mine reminded me and others) for a second:

1. Among the strongest of people are those whom are also among the most sensitive of people—or at least the ones whom are willing to admit that they are sensitive and are willing to not desensitize themselves.
2. Many who at least try to be kind are also among the ones whom are usually the first ones to be treated unkindly. The reason for that is that unkind people like to take advantage of kind people and see how strong they really are—to them, sensitivity is weakness and/or a witness against them of their own weaknesses; and sensitivity, of course, includes putting the words "I want to talk about it [whatever 'it' is]"* into action.
3. Many who at least try to bear others' burdens are trying to do what someone refused to do for them—and frankly, they're hoping that someone will finally bear their burdens in turn (or at least that God will reward them for helping others)**.

If you find this reminder worth sharing, share it. If you don't find this reminder worth sharing, then decline to share it and leave it at that. Also, feel free to take this reminder and—for a lack of better wordage—modify it to put it in your own words, give your own examples that pertain to this reminder (See the asterisks.), and ultimately have it come from your heart.

Remember, too, that we're all imperfect; and many of us at least sometimes hurt others in the ways in which we ourselves were hurt, whether we realize or don't realize that we do—and I certainly grant that many others (for example, the aforementioned unkind people) do often, or even always, deliberately hurt others

* RIP Mary Trudnak Czarnecki (Those were her words to my aunt when she finally broke down. "No, no; it's okay—I want to talk about it."

(I wish that I knew and understood that that's why I knew such a vulnerable Great-Grandma Czarnecki when she was still alive—she was trying to be strong and hold her own for at least 73 years, 16 of them in which I was alive—she married Great-Granddad when she was 20-going-on-21 years old in 1934, and she died when she was 93-going-on-94 years. I was born in 1990 when she was 76-going-on-78 years old.).

** RIP Mary DeBoy Pundt (I only heard about her and never had the chance to meet her.).

Happy Mother's Day...

Powerpoint® 2013 and even Bing™ Clipart are good tools, by the way. 

Shema Kolainu, "Shema, Yisra'el", and Us People With Disabilities (Originally On LinkedIn)

Note: I will not be surprised if LinkedIn deletes this post, though. Nonetheless, I could not sit there and just be silent. 

'Im kol kavod l'Doqtor Weinstein (with all respect to Dr. Weinstein), this pretty much goes to my point. People blame people with disabilities for bad attitudes (I have experienced this from even my own family.) and act like we're at fault when we don't get hired by (excuse my language) ablelisits (which is, as I found out, what we call those who hate us because of our disabilities).

Besides, given that Dr. Weinstein founded Hear Our Voices - Shema Kolainu, he should know how Adonai tested our hearts in the desert to see how able people would treat people, let alone kohanim, with disabilities (I, by the way, am mainly a Patrilineal Jew who, although I do have some Jewish heritage on my mother's side, knows that I am descended from Ashkenazi Levites and kohanim; and this, hopefully richly, colors my commentary on YouTube, etc..):

And the LORD spoke unto Moses, saying: 17 Speak unto Aaron, saying: Whosoever he be of thy seed throughout their generations that hath a blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God. 18 For whatsoever man he be that hath a blemish, he shall not approach: a blind man, or a lame, or he that hath any thing maimed, or anything too long, 19 or a man that is broken-footed, or broken-handed, 20 or crook-backed, or a dwarf, or that hath his eye overspread, or is scabbed, or scurvy, or hath his stones crushed; 21 no man of the seed of Aaron the priest, that hath a blemish, shall come nigh to offer the offerings of the LORD made by fire; he hath a blemish; he shall not come nigh to offer the bread of his God. 22 He may eat the bread of his God, both of the most holy, and of the holy. 23 Only he shall not go in unto the veil, nor come nigh unto the altar, because he hath a blemish; that he profane not My holy places; for I am the LORD who sanctify them. 24 So Moses spoke unto Aaron, and to his sons, and unto all the children of Israel. {P}

The attitude that the able people among us came out with was not only unmerciful; it was also abysmally discriminatory. This kind of attitude, even in modern Western (read: Judeo-Christian) countries still prevails figuratively in many aspects, including in the workforce:

"8 And when ye offer the blind for sacrifice, is it no evil! And when ye offer the lame and sick, is it no evil! Present it now unto thy governor; will he be pleased with thee? or will he accept thy person? saith the LORD of hosts."

In fact, three examples of this attitude are demonstrated in two ABC News "What Would You Do?" episodes. One portrays how a woman who is "slow of speech" (as Moses described himself in Torah) is persecuted by ablelists. Two other examples (which I was seeking when I found the first) show how deaf people are slyly rejected by human-resource managers and how parking spaces are regularly taken by ablelists (and even my now-estranged father called out a woman who took an accessible parking space when he and I were at, as I initially recalled, a Blockbuster one time; and I recall that to this day. Needless to say, he was not thrilled when she was parking in the space just to return a video, as I remember. She didn't take it from me. Still, she disadvantaged my compatriots with disabilities. By the way, that was a long time ago.). 

Sadly, this attitude has not changed from Biblical Times to allegedly-Judeo-Christian Times. This is despite how Adonai "desire[s] mercy, and not sacrifice" and even with laws such as the American With Disabilities Act—and so much for "one nation under G-d, indivisible with liberty and justice for all."

Being A Person With A Disability—And Thus, An Occupational Pariah

I got the following e-mail:

Write. Share. Get recognized.

Be known for what you know. Strengthen your reputation by sharing your perspectives with your network. Get started If you need assistance or have questions, please contact LinkedIn Customer Service. This is an occasional email to help you get the most out of LinkedIn. Unsubscribe. This email was intended for Nicole V. Czarnecki (Volunteer at Allan Kittleman for County Executive). Learn why we include this. © 2014, LinkedIn Corporation. All rights reserved. LinkedIn Corp. 2029 Stierlin Court, Mountain View CA 94043

When I saw said e-mail, I was floored. What; me? What do I know? I can't even get a job yet; and, let alone, I don't have a job. Then I thought about my disability—which is why I can't get a job, and not because I'm not capable, either.

[Of course, I couldn't post what I've said and will say here because I got the error message (as modified to be as close to what it was on the page), "Sorry, there was an error loading the page. Please refresh the page or try again later."

I remembered, for example, the "What Would You Do?" exposé concerning people with deafness and human-resources managers, the time that my applying for a Fox News internship was shot out of the water because I can't drive (and who does want his or her mom driving him or her after a certain age, as this guy—who was not born with a disability—points out among other things that he pointed out? He specifically pointed out that having one's mom be his or her best friend after a certain age is not cool, by the way.).

I also, in having been trying to be a commentator and get some work out there, have been called a "gimp". I'm also the one who, according to my sister, would get backlash for a note regarding the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge when I know what having something relatively-somewhat similar is like (and God forbid that, for instance, some peer ever does a "Cerebral Palsy Gait Race" or "Scissor-Leg Race" Challenge, though [sadly] some smart aleck who thinks that having Diplegic Spastia/Mild Quadriplegia is funny and worth a publicity stunt will).

I furthermore note how being "lame", having a "crippled [whatever—e.g., economy]", etc. is perfectly acceptable to note in our culture as well. I even note that popular shows such as Family Guy and celebrities such as George Takei are still celebrated instead of shunned for using people with disabilities as scapegoats, pawns, etc..

Yet, many continue to wonder why people with disabilities can't or won't get jobs. In addition, often the "won't get jobs" group also belong in the "can't get jobs" group—since, after all and for instance, we keep trying to look for jobs to which we can't drive, etc., when we could work from home if our potential employers would help us out a little and/or even pay it in advance ["pay it forward"] a little by helping us get to our jobs. Not all of us, especially people like me with single parents with whom we're still living because we can't drive, can just go out and get a driver's license or a ride any time that we would like to do so. Also, even programs for people with disabilities cost money that we just don't have or don't always want to be borrowing. By the way, don't get me started on how the one in my childhood county works, especially when medical professionals who could be helping the applicants just can't or don't get it (at least initially). 

As for when we can ride to where we need to go, we're quite literally relegated to the back of the bus (at least in my childhood county) unless the bus does include a ramp in the front. Not all of us can walk, if at all, without walkers/carts, crutches, etc. most or all of the time, and that's exactly why the wheelchair lift is in the back (I was born in 1990; believe me, I am not stupid and hatred against people with disabilities has not dissipated to this day.). We are looked at and treated like Blacks in general in the United States used to be, and like Haredi and quite a few other women in Israel, and we know it as well as those who treat us evilly do (despite that they'd like to think that those of us who are able to know it are ignorant of it). 

Therefore, we're treated the same way in even trying to get to job interviews as we are in actually getting to jobs that we can actually secure—lucky if we're treated well, not surprised (or at least we shouldn't be surprised) when we're treated horribly, and amazed at how much and how long we can hold on to anything good. After all, they put us in the back of the bus (if they even take us); how much more so would they like to not even hire us, let alone see and admit that we're capable of doing what jobs that we can do and keep if they would let us actually keep those jobs. Again, after all, we're capable of doing what jobs that we can do, and we usually seek out the kinds of jobs that we can do.

We just, as I've stated, need a little help along the way. Having us work from home or even somehow helping us out in terms of getting to job interviews, for example, wouldn't hurt too many employers who are at least looking to fill their persons-with-disabilities quotas, now would it? The same wouldn't hurt the same group if they are also looking to brag about hiring people with disabilities, now would it? The same also wouldn't hurt the same quota fillers and braggers if they are also looking to brag about general employment diversity, would it?

After all, quite a bit of what employers get out of employees is how much they invest of what they need to invest in their employees. For example, an employer will get the full 10% of what he needs to invest in his workforce if he invests all of that 10%, now won't he? In the same way, the people who want and/or need to hire people and retain employees with disabilities could invest what they need to invest in potential job candidates and retained employees.

I could go on, though I think that I've made my point. In case I haven't, let me sum it up as follows:

1. People will disabilities are treated as pariahs, whipping boys and girls, etc. in this culture.
2. Since we are treated as such in this culture, we are treated as such in the overall workforce—which affects and is affected by this culture as much as any other institution does and is.
3. Since we are treated as such in both the culture at large and in the general workforce, we end up being being unable and, thus, unwilling to look for and keep jobs.
4. Nonetheless, especially employers who have persons-with-disabilities quotas to fill, and quota filling and diversity about which they would like to brag ought to do what gets them to fill their quotas and honestly brag.
5. Therefore, the people who want and/or need to hire people and retain employees with disabilities could invest what they need to invest in potential job candidates and retained employees.
6. After all, employers are supposed to be strategic in hiring and retaining their employees, and thus expand and retain their workforces.

In conclusion, I rest my case (Incidentally, I did want to be a lawyer at one time. On that note, quite a few people who stereotyped me and told me that I could be an advocate for people with disabilities [as if, obviously, I am nothing more than a person who has a disability.]).