I Can Only Bear So Much For So Long, And Am Extremely Patient Considering...

Isaiah 42:13-15

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹³ The LORD shall go forth like a mighty man;
      He shall stir up His zeal like a man of war.
      He shall cry out, yes, shout aloud;
      He shall prevail against His enemies.

Promise of the LORD’s Help

    ¹⁴ “ I have held My peace a long time,
      I have been still and restrained Myself.
      Now I will cry like a woman in labor,
      I will pant and gasp at once.
       ¹⁵ I will lay waste the mountains and hills,
      And dry up all their vegetation;
      I will make the rivers coastlands,
      And I will dry up the pools. 

Since the L-rd will get impatient, how much more a human? "‘The LORD is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’" (Numbers 14:18) Humans aren't like this, and I'm not the most-patient person in the world; and I can only take so much.

For example, at Notre Dame: I talked to Dr. Weiss, Dr. Berry, et. al. before telling Dr. Weiss "I'm tired of your Anti Semitism". I long had to hear how the Exodus was merely "an ancient peasant rebellion" according to Dr. Lyle Weiss, STD (who is no such position to be a Sacrae Theologiae doctor). I had to hear how the prophets may've been possibly inspired by the devil when a girl asked if that the prophets may have been so inspired was possible. And when my mom came in, I had her stay out of it until that awful conference with Dr. Franklin, Sister Sharon Kanis, and hoodwinking Melissa Lees (who made herself seem like she was against Drs. Weiss and Berry, and the whole RST Department, were teaching).

Also re Chapelgate: the only thing that I regret is ever apologizing to Mike Khandjian when he called the Ark of the Covenant "a holy piece of furniture" and I apologized for confronting him. Never will I apologize for confronting someone when they call what held the Ten Commandments and the Mercy Seat "a holy piece of furniture" again. And Cathy Dallwig (as far as I know) was in church that day. Where was the Caring Coordinator when Jewish members had to face an Anti-Semitic attack from the pastor? How caring is to say to Jews, in other words, "Your Ark of the Covenant was nothing more than a piece of furniture"?

And then the ride thing, of course. Imagine that I not to come to church for so long because I committed suicide or died of a disability-related accident? Can the dead reach out and ask for help? A Caring Coordinator or Director of Caring is supposed to notice when a member doesn't show up for a while, care that the member's not showing up, reach out to the member, and say, "Hey; you haven't shown up to church for a while. Is everything okay?"

I am more than patient; I just don't tolerate b***s***. 

For Any Jew, Disabled Person, and Divorcee or Child Thereof, I Do Not Recommend Chapelgate Presbyterian Church...

Being a Jewish child of divorce with Diplegic Spastia Cerebral Palsy, I actually recommend against Chapelgate Presbyterian Church. Having experienced quite the opposite of "Healing, Renewal, Peace"; I can tell you that I experienced hurt, apostasy, and chaos. I vowed not to run from Chapelgate; but as stands, I more than consider myself churchless at this point, and for good reason as many other people (including fellow Messianic Jews) do. By the way, I leave apostate Chapelgate with the following from the non-apostate New King James Version (since the NIV has been proven to be utmostly apostate):

The Lukewarm Church

   
¹⁴ “And to the angel of the church of the Laodiceans^[f] write, 
‘These things says the Amen, the Faithful and True Witness, the Beginning of the creation of God: ¹⁵ “I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish you were cold or hot. ¹⁶ So then, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot,^[g] I will vomit you out of My mouth. ¹⁷ Because you say, ‘I am rich, have become wealthy, and have need of nothing’—and do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked— ¹⁸ I counsel you to buy from Me gold refined in the fire, that you may be rich; and white garments, that you may be clothed, that the shame of your nakedness may not be revealed; and anoint your eyes with eye salve, that you may see. ¹⁹ As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten. Therefore be zealous and repent. ²⁰ Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. ²¹ To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. 
²² “He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.”’”

So How Do We Help the North Koreans? By Learning From Experience With China and Africa...

• Actual excerpted conversation with names censored for privacy. Just a reminder that we don't want to further shell shock and impoverish the transitioning North Koreans: this...child's ignorance makes me sick.  Agreed. That makes him just look disgusting and heartless. Ignorant people gross. I cannot believe there are people out there that legitimately feel like this.  I would be ashamed to be an American if we turned our backs and ignored the starvation of people especially children in other countries when we had the means to help. American or Somalian we are all human. I hope that stupid fucker gets shot I don't hope he gets shot. However I definitely hope he gets shipped to Somalia. Mayhap then he'd do something meaningful with his life, make an impact and do humanity some good.  Ignorant dumb shits like that never change, and will never make a difference. Sadly if someone can say something like that about starving children and be so heartless, he will probably always have that mentality. I hope he comes across people who treat him they way he treats them so he can have a taste of his own medicine.  that's more then likely due to the fact that people come at them with comments like that. You have to educate and inform, not throw around death wishes and insults. If he were to visit that country, I could almost guarantee his tune do a 180.  It's an incredibly sad fact that people with that mindset exist. I definitely agree on that. It pisses me the fuck off.. Agreed.  That guy is a horrible person. In, like, the essence of the word. He pointed out we shouldn't help them due to the fact they didn't 'ask'. I am wondering...how the hell do they ask? Write an email with their non existent internet? Send a letter with there probable illiteracy? Call the president up? What the hell!! Somalia hasn't had a functioning government since 1993. So.... yeah. Obviously, what with all their means of communication and stable social conditions, it's totally the Somalians' fault for not asking. What a fucking idiot. Correction: no functioning government since 1991. Well other than the warlords who run the various pirate gangs they have no functioning government. Seriously, why should we help starving malnourished children you ask? BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING PEOPLE! Children nonetheless!!! This makes me facepalm so hard. Okay, you all are jumping on him for STATING HIS OPINION. Remember this, just because you all have different views, does not mean that one person is right over the other person. ... While I do agree that his post was a little on the cold side, people still need to look at it from both sides, or else we will become the "Ignorant Dumb Shits" in being one minded. Also he does bring up a good point on natural selection... WOW... really, educate yourselves please.:(   An opinion like this is awful. It doesn't matter what compares or not. It's the fact that people are suffering and someone can look at that and say 'who cares? this is meant to happen so let it.' It's one thing to think that about a civil war, or a natural disaster, still fucked but more understandable. But these are children. There is nothing RIGHT about thinking this is alright. This is a UNIVERSAL WRONG. There is no 'other side' to see here. 3 hours ago ·  ·  2 Nicole Czarnecki ...'s probably a Ron Paulite. 3 hours ago ·  ... actually, we are right, and he (and you) are wrong. Just because a person has a different opinion doesn't make it a VALID opinion.   ·  1 Nicole Czarnecki ‎"Things Fall Apart" gives the perspective, however, that there were some ways where we overreached or allowed overreaching and didn't let the Africans help themselves within the context of what actual help we were giving them. In other words, we went too far with the religious and political proselytizing. We should've let the Africans choose their culture, and we contributed to much of the Third World Africanism in that way. 4 minutes ago ·  Nicole Czarnecki Another book on a similar vein is "The Good Earth", based on Pearl S. Buck's watching where we overreached in Asia. So, the one point that at least the (you can fill in the blank)s like ... affected the bringing up of is that we only made some Third Worldism worse by religiously and politically overreaching.

  
  
  What the Ron Paulite said is that Africa is naturally selected for doom and failure, thus we shouldn't help them in any way, shape, or form. Some could argue the same for North Korea and Pyongyang. But just because all the nations except Israel (including the US, the Kushite nations, and the Koreas) will indeed be made an end to (cf. Jeremiah 30:11)  does not excuse an abandonment of tikun ha'olam. Yet in no way should religious and political proselytizing, including Torah el hagoyim v'Mamlahkah Adonai, be done but b'Adonai yachid. As I said, "We should've let the Africans choose their culture" and not made proselytization a condition or an incentive for helping them. The same is with the North Koreans.
  
  
  The best that we can do is say:
  
  
  “Now therefore, fear the LORD, serve Him in sincerity and in truth, and put away the gods which [the Hebrews'] fathers served on the other side of the River and in Egypt. Serve the LORD! And if it seems evil to you to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which [their] fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land [they would] dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.” 

With Miracles Come Curses, Which I Should've Remembered

So I probably (unless by a miracle) failed the Math exam, and I got flack about doing the dishes today. Excuse me; but Michelle was home all day, so she could've easily done the dishes. Besides, when she was texting friends, she could've done the dishes; and all while waiting for a callback from someone. I've waited for things while doing the dishes, cleaning things, etc.. And so what if she already did a first load? She could've done a second one-- and she'd apply that standard to me if I was home all day. Besides, she has an easier time putting the dishes away.

She gets everything (or almost everything)-- the social life, the friends, the not having Cerebral Palsy, etc.. And what do I get? Nada. Lo d'var. She has people reaching out to her left and right, and I don't-- in fact, at least sometimes, I have people deliberately shunning me-- because of my Cerebral Palsy.

As if to prove my point, one of her friends just called her now and she's talking to him or her. I don't have friends call me daily like that-- and yet, my Facebook friends see my numbers on my profile. I hardly even get a text. By the way, she's whining because I'm posting "our private life" on my blog.

Grow up, Michelle; and "[w]henever you feel like criticizing anybody, just remember that [I of] all of the people in this world haven't had the privileges that you've had." And count your blessings.

Is Faceshuk Not Accepting My Blog Because I'm Messianic Jewish? Well, Wait a Minute...

I'm not a proselytizer. I'm going to be open about my faith, but not force my faith down people's throats. All of my dad's relatives but for the Trudniaks (as far as I know) died Crypto Jews in order to survive Anti Semitism in both Europe and America, and many of us live as Crypto Jews for the same. Sadly, they and others (e.g., Ashley Wojnar and Janet Rozzi) aren't proud to know that we're Jewish for good and bad. 


(Ola, Ashley; que no te gusta que somos judias y que tu abuelo Leo se parece ese un judio irani es lamentable. I'm like an elephant, Ashley-- I don't forget that you defriend me after that. Boo-hoo-- eres tu una supremista cubana, por cierto? Even if you don't like that you're a Jew first, you're a Jew first; and I'm rather proud that your grandmother Helen was Jewish, and that your granddad Leo looks like a fellow Jew. P.S. I figured out that we and he are Jewish.)


Now that I'm done ranting at Ashley (And in a way, I hope that Ashley and Brittany read this), let me get back to the categories of my family. As I said, "All of my dad's relatives but for the Trudniaks (as far as I know) died Crypto Jews in order to survive Anti Semitism in both Europe and America, and many of us live as Crypto Jews for the same. Sadly, they and others (e.g., Ashley Wojnar and Janet Rozzi) aren't proud to know that we're Jewish for good and bad."


By the way, I mean the ones born before and in the 1900s by "All". The "many of us" are descendants of the "All". Some of the "All" may have been Messianic, but never (as far as I know) admitted (though some dropped hints) that they were Jewish.


"They and others" refers to the "many of us" and "All" progeny like Ashley Wojnar who aren't proud of our Jewish heritage and that I found out that we are Jewish. Some are sadly seeming neutral on the subject or ignore it-- then again, they might fit in with the "many of us". Some of them are Messianic and nonetheless of the "many of us".


The fourth category is the descendants of the "All" who are Messianic Jews and/or are open about our Jewish heritage, even if implicitly. We even have a Non-Messianic Jewish Taoist among us (which is understandable after she was raised-- as many of us were-- in some of variant of Roman Catholicism. She was raised in regular Roman Catholicism, I in Episcopalianism until I was in fifth grade or thereabouts. We were both baptized Roman Catholic as well.).


In conclusion, Faceshuk should accept my blog because, if nothing else, of the four categories of my dad's family:

1. The Ashkenazi Anusim from the 1770s (e.g., the Fockos, Foskos, Foczkos) to the 1900s (e.g., Anna Monkaova Trudniak), referred to as the "All".
2. The "many of us"
3.  The "they and others". "They and others" refers to the "many of us" and "All" progeny like Ashley Wojnar and Janet Rozzi (And Janet, I didn't forget that you defended your kapo American grandmother, my great-grandmother Mary Rusnak Gaydos.).
4. The descendants of the "All" who are Messianic Jews and/or are open about our Jewish heritage, even if implicitly.

I might have to make a YouTube video to clarify this, by the way.

Dear Mom...

I know that I'm a failure. I know that you're not proud that I don't study as hard as I could, do much around the house as I could, and do much else as I could. But I try. I struggle with OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and possible Aspberger's. I may also struggle with ADD and ADHD (Aunt Mary struggles with mild ADD.). And I struggle with my Cerebral Palsy.

Imagine going through all that I've gone through with little to no support, and spurts of support that are about the extent of the support that I get. Imagine knowing that you're-- though imperfect-- unappreciated and not good enough for anyone no matter what you do. Imagine having my rough family history and not being discouraged from dealing with and talking about it, especially by me & other family. And imagine being mostly or entirely alone otherwise all the time.

I could go on; but Dear Mom, I know that I'm a failure. And now you know why.

How To Use Blogger To Do Schoolwork

As I was sitting there and about to save one of my Introduction to Corrections essays for home, a proverbial figurative lightbulb went off: I could use Blogger to draft the essay, then finalize it at home and in Microsoft Word. As my piano professor said, study and practice in spurts throughout the day-- like taking small meals-- instead of huge timeslots. In the same way, I could use a for-right-now hobby (which could become a career) to study and make use of time that could've been otherwise procrastination or eventual boredom.

I wrote my first draft of my reflection, take-home essay on Blogger (and wergild is still a hard word to remember how to spell). Using Word, I double-checked "wergild" before replacing "weirgald" with it. By the way, I've similarly done at-home Sociology assignments on Blogger.

In conclusion, I used social media to make the grade and share knowledge with both my professor (so that he can see that I learned in class) and with the world and fellow people who are only in (and not of) the world (to prove that, while I'm not the brightest bulb in the bunch, I'm not the dullest bulb, either).

Second Draft of My Essay for Criminal Justice

In regards to Introduction to Corrections, I still maintain that the class could have been taught with much less book learning and more "chit chat", or engagement of and with the material. Engagement of and with the material would not only have supplemented the book learning, but applied it and made it easier to remember. The field events were a fine application; but the engagement known as "chit chat" would have also helped, and frankly helped apply to the field experience what we learned in class.

I also maintain that Drako did not apply "the punishment fits the crime" first, and the Ancient English did not apply lex talions and wergild first. The Hebrews did, and Genesis 9:6 applies one of the first-- if not the first of the-- Drakon-associated codes. As for lex talions (family justice) and wergild (restitutive sanctions-- e.g., blood money), the Hebrew Torah gives cases in which each are to be applied. For example, if a man accidentally kills another and does not flee to a marked city of refuge allows for lex talions, or if he must make restitution for a baby who he caused to be miscarried during a fight allows wergild.

I respectfully bring to point that I did not like the mockery of Christianity. Being a Messianic Jew and now understanding that (as far as I can tell) you are a Non-Messianic Jew, I fully respect your right not to believe in Jesus. However, I did not like the mockery of, incidentally, what the Quakers themselves based their rehabilitative, reformatory, and penitentiary models on. To them and me, Jesus would not just have been another high for drug and alcohol addicts, let alone one comparable to work and other addictions for the same. I also did not like the "Lazarus has risen" joke regarding Cameron. To me, Lazarus' resurrection was a sacred even and nothing to make light of, let alone to use as a metaphor for Cameron finally coming back to class after car problems.

I myself do not seek to proselytize, but hold strong Evangelical Christian, Messianic Jewish views. As the Quakers did with the views, I apply my views to my life and every aspect thereof, including an Introduction to Corrections class and corrections themselves. On that point, I found the Drug Court to be consistent with a Quaker-Christian view of saving the lost, rehabilitating, reforming, and bringing to penance. As a Messianic Jew, I look forward to seeing the Drug Courts-- and now the Mental Health, Veterans', and other Specialized Courts-- increase in number and effectiveness in decreasing the backlog in the Criminal Justice System.

In conclusion, I learned much about corrections and how to strengthen and apply my views to corrections in Introduction to Corrections, but I still would have liked to engage more with the material to supplement it and the applications of it (e.g., the field trips). I also, as I said, would've liked to see less mockery of Christianity, although I understand your views and certainly do not seek to proselytize. However, as aforementioned, I will do my views as the Quakers did with their views-- that is, apply them to corrections, and learn about other views in light of how to examine and strengthen my own.