Darn Right That I'm Estranged From Much Of My Dad's Family...

And I, unlike some of them, make no secret or even falsehood about it. If you want me to lie about my family; you're asking me to be like my dad and his parents (among others), and I'm not going to do that. Unlike them, I'm going to be honest about our family history. The funny (strange and ironic) thing, meanwhile, is that they probably don't think that I check my blog stats. They can guess again:

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Every Time That Tiki Barber Is On Geraldo Rivera's Radio Show Or Podcast...

I skip the segment. I will not listen to a man who cheated on his college sweetheart is was also his then-8-months-pregnant wife and 11-year bride. I will not listen to a man who badmouthed Tom Coughlin. I urge everyone who's reading this to tweet, blog, and do whatever else to tell Geraldo Rivera, KABC and WABC, and whoever else to boycott Tiki Barber unless and until he repents of his brazen adultery and leaving of four young children (including the two girls who were eventually born and rightly kept from having to see him in the hospital).

So, I'm Focusing On Some Indirect Relatives' Branches, But...

That doesn't mean that I wouldn't like to see more direct relatives be more found out about (I've had some, but relatively-little, luck or blessing over the past couple of days, and only one instance regarding Dad's side-- as far as I recall.). Meanwhile, speaking of blessings, I have a question for G-d: where's the blessing of karma for Ginny Cha and against Tiki and scheduled-to-be Traci Lynn Johnson Barber? By the way, shouldn't Ginny Cha have justice in her favor? After all:

• But You have seen, for You observe trouble and grief, To repay it by Your hand. The helpless commits himself to You; You are the helper of the fatherless. 
• A father of the fatherless, a defender of widows, Is God in His holy habitation.
• Defend the poor and fatherless; Do justice to the afflicted and needy.
• The LORD watches over the strangers; He relieves the fatherless and widow; But the way of the wicked He turns upside down.

Ginny Cha is worse off than a widow in many respects. Her husband, who karma (vengeance) has yet to hit, is still with his mistress while Ginny Cha was left with two on-the-way, and is now left with two newborn, girls and two young boys to raise-- and her husband refuses to pay for his affair and divorce.

Meanwhile, karma has yet to hit some of my own relatives-- including my dad who left my worse off than a widow in many respects as well--, but that's another discussion. Meanwhile, I sometimes wonder (like in the case of Tiki Barber) how long until this will be fulfilled in favor of those like Ginny Cha. I mean, sometimes I wonder, is G-d (so to speak) f___ing with us?

"¹¹ Then I said, “Lord, how long?”

And He answered:

“Until the cities are laid waste and without inhabitant,
The houses are without a man,
The land is utterly desolate,
¹² The Lord has removed men far away,
And the forsaken places are many in the midst of the land.
¹³ But yet a tenth will be in it,
And will return and be for consuming,
As a terebinth tree or as an oak,
Whose stump remains when it is cut down.
So the holy seed shall be its stump.”"

How I look forward to the End of Days! 

If Anyone Knows Anything About These Family Members Buried At New Cathedral Cemetery...

Please let me know. Thanks.

I'm Basically Getting "Peh"ed and "Meh"ed With This Discouragment In Family Research....

I mean, nothing-- nothing-- on direct relatives and other relatives who I'm specifically looking for information on... and I have hints on other relatives and relatives of relatives (and relatives of relatives of relatives...) who I'll worry about later. I couldn't even get DNA tests-- and they were going to be gifts for the benefit of the whole family.

I'm not trying to get caught up in genealogy; I just want to establish what I can: e.g., find out if I'm a kohenet or Levit (and Kevin luckily didn't need DNA to find out that he's a Levi, by the way; but what we don't know if he's also a Levi on the Fosko and Hanzok sides-- meaning guess who also would be m'bnei Levi)? Also, who is the real "John McCoy" (the Spaniard that he was, not the Irishized "McCoy" that he became when he fled Spain and married MaryAnn Elizabeth McCoy); and was he a Sephardic Jew?

(Hey; none of his daughters were named "Mary" or "Maria"-- they were Rosalita "Rose" or "Rosa", Lavinia Teresa(?), Lucy, and Jane--, and his granddaughters were Anne, Alice Marie (Notice that Grandma was MaryAnn.), Loretta Rose, Sara Catherine, Helen Lavinia, and Agnes Genevieve "Sister Mary Rosalita" (which she took upon herself).).

Does any family member want to step forward, do the right thing, and help me figure out some of the (so to speak) roadblocks? 

Why I've Suffered So Much: At Least Partly Because of That Kapo Mary Rusnak Gaydos

I don't exactly remember who Jack Feldman is descended from, by the way; but I begin to suspect more and more that his Chron's-- besides his trief eating-- comes from his Fosko-Rusnak matriarch being a kapo as well. My side (the Fosko-Rusnak-Gaydos side) has been visited for certain:

Numbers 14:18
‘The LORD is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’


I mean, I don't think that we can any more into entering the abyss zone than having four of the five Rusnak-Gaydos children (Grandaunt Mary Ann and Grandma included) being absolutely wicked (The only one who would not be wicked by doing or enabling any wickedness was Grandaunt Helen, who I didn't know was habat tzedekah until after she was gone.), having even some of habnei v'banot shel habat tzedekah take after the bnei-v'banot ra'im (Ashley and Matt, I'll name you as two of them. Shame on you for not acknowledging our Yiddishkeit and Eloheinu v'Elohim Avinu.), and having some of us bnei v'banot suffer abuse which we have not (or at least tried not to have) perpetuated the cycle of.


While I'm on the subject of Matt, by the way, why does he have Spina Bifida? And why do I have Cerebral Palsy? And why does Jack have Chron's (if his Fosko-Rusnak matriarch was indeed also a wicked kapo)?


Deuteronomy 7:13
And He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your land, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of yourcattle and the offspring of your flock, in the land of which He swore to your fathers to give you.


Let me give you a hint: Great-Grandma Gaydos and her zerim sure haven't been blessed:

Leviticus 21:17-24

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁷ “Speak to Aaron, saying: ‘No man of your descendants in succeeding generations, who has anydefect, may approach to offer the bread of his God. ¹⁸ For any man who has a defect shall not approach: a man blind or lame, who has a marred face or any limb too long, ¹⁹ a man who has a broken foot or broken hand, ²⁰ or is a hunchback or a dwarf, or a man who has a defect in his eye, or eczema or scab, or is a eunuch. ²¹ No man of the descendants of Aaron the priest, who has a defect, shall come near to offer the offerings made by fire to the LORD. He has a defect; he shall not come near to offer the bread of his God. ²² He may eat the bread of his God, both the most holy and the holy; ²³ only he shall not go near the veil or approach the altar, because he has a defect, lest he profane My sanctuaries; for I the LORD sanctify them.’”
²⁴ And Moses told it to Aaron and his sons, and to all the children of Israel.


Hint two: 


While we may not be koheinim, let me ask you this: if being one "who has a defect" (including one that results in the said one being "blind or lame, who has a marred face or any limb too long, a man who has a broken foot or broken hand, or is a hunchback or a dwarf") is even a (for a lack of a better term) just-because curse to zerim shel Aharon; how likely would you think that any one of those defects could be inflicted even on non koheinim who are or whose predecessors were kapos?


Numbers 14:18
‘The LORD is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’


As I said, by the way, being crippled and being sickened (with me, Matt, and Jack-- if his Fosko-Rusnak matriarch was indeed also a wicked kapo-- included) aren't the only curses which the zerim of the kapo Fosko Rusnaks-- especially those of Mary Rusnak Gaydos-- have had to endure.

Dear Mom...

I know that I'm a failure. I know that you're not proud that I don't study as hard as I could, do much around the house as I could, and do much else as I could. But I try. I struggle with OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and possible Aspberger's. I may also struggle with ADD and ADHD (Aunt Mary struggles with mild ADD.). And I struggle with my Cerebral Palsy.

Imagine going through all that I've gone through with little to no support, and spurts of support that are about the extent of the support that I get. Imagine knowing that you're-- though imperfect-- unappreciated and not good enough for anyone no matter what you do. Imagine having my rough family history and not being discouraged from dealing with and talking about it, especially by me & other family. And imagine being mostly or entirely alone otherwise all the time.

I could go on; but Dear Mom, I know that I'm a failure. And now you know why.

I Think That Some Relatives May Be Reading This Blog & Still Won't Contact Me....

I honestly don't bite-- if I don't need to bite, that is. But I bite and fight pretty fairly. I'm not perfect; but I do love and am thankful for my family, even if they don't love and be thankful for me. "Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful."

Great-Grandma Czarnecki was thankful for even the son who intended to rid of her in the most painful way possible-- in a cold hospital with her leg amputated and almost thrown away when she was already dying and wanted to die at home. That's why she "want[ed] to talk about it" to Aunt Mary-- she loved us enough to do that for Aunt Mary and the rest of us (including her great-great-granddaughter Brianna, who was yet to be born at the time. She loved Madison, too; but considered her a step-great-great-granddaughter, as Madison really only is-- through no fault of her own; but she's only Dad's step-- not his biological-- granddaughter, and she'll always be so far.).

As I said on Facebook last night (and after a distant cousin revealed that he's part of one of the crazy branches as well, and to the point where he will take the name of any woman who he will marry), I-- like Great-Grandma did-- talk about our family because I care enough to see our family history exposed to and reformed in the light:

• Luke 12:2-5, NKJV: ² For there is nothing covered that will not be revealed, nor hidden that will not be known. ³ Therefore whatever you have spoken in the dark will be heard in the light, and what you have spoken in the ear in inner rooms will be proclaimed on the housetops. ⁴ “And I say to you, My friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. ⁵ But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear Him who, after He has killed, has power to cast into hell; yes, I say to you, fear Him!
 
• 1 Corinthians 4:5: Therefore judge nothing before the time, until the Lord comes, who will both bring to light the hidden things of darkness and reveal the counsels of the hearts. Then each one’s praise will come from God.
• 2 Corinthians 4:2:  But we have renounced the hidden things of shame, not walking in craftiness nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.

That's why I do not dread Dad, Pop-Pop, and others who want to silence and our family histories and collective family history-- and that's why I want to thankfully use my gift of the right to free speech and "talk about" our family history.

Some People Are Total Idiots and Mormons; And Saying That Is Being Nice...

For example, some sicko thought that he was being funny by joking that he helped a pervert commit a crime against a child-- or if he wasn't joking, he outright bragged that he was an accessory to a crime. There is nothing funny about crime, let alone any crimes-- especially certain deviance-based crimes-- against children. In fact, this person who joked about being an accessory (actually, an outright accomplice) to the crime would be brutalized by the inmates in jail or prison really quickly-- inmates don't like sexual crimes, especially any sexual-deviance crimes against children.

As Jerry Sandusky will learn and my sister told me that one inmate learned (In fact, our friend told her that he heard that the inmate was murdered, dismembered, and bagged that he was so despised.), even the hardest of criminals dislike and hate the hardest-of-the-hardest criminals.

And tzedek-- karma, justice-- does bite.

And Great-Great-Granddad Czarnecki's Death May Have Not Been An Accident After All...

I told a friend about quite a bit of my family history recently; and in the course of the discussion, he suggested that the "sudden fall of rock" and circumstances surrounding it may have been no accident-- it may have been an intentional, well-planned (even if spur-of-the-moment planned) suicide. Remember, he was a schicker and frequently farshikert, the man (husband) of a meshugene vayb, was an Anusi trying to survive being sat shiva for and virtually exiled from Poland Russia to live as an Anusi in America, and tateh of a man who committed suicide.

So, who knows? My friend may have had a point: that mine "accident" may have been a by-fall-of-rock suicide.

"Antoni" and "Katarzyna" were given by Great-Great-Grandma about her parents as well; Great-Great-Granddad was born c. December 24, 1876; etc. Even the death certificate is full of intentional misinformation.

Speaking of Great-Grandma Czarnecki And En El Primero de Novembre de 2011...

Y en el Dia de Los Muertos 2011, I think of and remember Great-Grandma Czarnecki. I think of the woman who was my great-grandma and who I took for granted all those times that we visited her at Apartment 214, 10 E South Street in Wilkes Barre. I think of the woman whose history I never knew or took time to knew-- so she's Pop-Pop's mom, Great-Granddad's widow, the one who's Lithuanian (I assumed from what I was told.). I think of the woman whose life came to a cold, callous end in a hospital with its possessor's leg amputated and with a murder-malice-intenting son who committed Social Security in it.

I think of the good Jewish Evagelical Catholic mother and wife, aunt and sister, and daughter who I've learned so much about since she's been gone-- the daughter of a gentile Trudniak and Jewish Catholic Monkaova of Kacwin and Lapsze Nizne, Poland (both then in Slovakian Austria Hungary), the mother (and grandmother and great-grandmother) of Jews herself ("And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed.”"; "and in your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed;"-- and if she didn't know, she'd at least be tickled to know that her seed and her mother's seed are also descendants of at least many of the nations of the earth); the wife, aunt, grandaunt, great-grandaunt, and otherwise a relative of a diverse Jewish family

(e.g., I don't think that she'd care anymore that her son Tony's wife is Irish-- she didn't like that Grandaunt Mary Ellen is Irish. Maybe she wanted, but just never said that she wanted, Granduncle Tony to marry a good Jewish girl-- particularly an Ashkenazic Jewish Catholic girl, Anusit or open about her Jewishness-- and not make the same mistake that she did and marry a meshugener, who would've been a meshugene in Granduncle Tony's case. V'chalilah when Pop-Pop married Grandma-- she did not like her. She even cut her out of a picture and replaced her with a Christmas tree.).

And looking back on all I've learned and all that I saw for myself, especially in a Jewish context; I see an elter-bubbie for whom I will pursue tzedek-- "Tzedek, tzedek, tirdof."-- and let her son learn that of all things that he's done, (so to speak) stepping all over his good Jewish Christian mama is one thing with which he will not get away.


I am a Monkaova Trudniak, no question.

Great-Grandma Czarnecki her grandson Gary on my dad's first wedding day, July 22, 1989. This is how I remember her-- except that she was much older when I met her.

At Dad's baptism. Great-Granddad is next to her.

She is holding Aunt Mary, Great-Granddad next to her and holding Dad. Granduncle Red is on the right, Granduncle Jim next to Great-Grandma.



Great-Grandma Czarnecki on her wedding day, May 10, 1934. I should've known-- she was too pretty to be just Slovakian.

With mama Anna Trudniak nee Monkaova