"I'm Gonna Smile"- And Not Because I'm Happy, But Because I Can Be Joyful

And even though there are moments where I don't feel that I forgive you and I say the opposite of it, I forgive you and I'm going to forgive you-- not because I forgive you, but because I've been forgiven. And I'm going to have moments when I say that I hate you, but I have to love you even if I intensely dislike you-- because I was loved first, and not by you. And it's like I told someone in the Casey Anthony case:

 I don't agree with Geraldo and the jury, but I agree that the hate against Geraldo is uncalled for. Not that I think that hate against anyone else-- even against Casey and Jose Baez-- is okay, but I understand people being very angry about what happened. I think that we can hate what happened without hating any of the parties involved.

Same thing with you and Great-Grandma Gaydos-- among others-- regarding Pepi, Vilmosz, and others who you have hurt and betrayed over the years (and you've ultimately hurt yourselves)-- I'm learning to forgive you all.

I'm learning to forgive and forget-- not forget as in forget to ponder in my heart, but forget as in don't begrudge even though I'll have learned from experience and still be wary, and understand and know what to do (and because G-d will help me deal with what I need to deal with, and help me deal with who I need to deal with).