A Favor That I Need From Howard County And Those Connected To It

As I've stated, I grew up in Columbia, Maryland—where the tragic murder-suicide at the mall happened (I didn't really talk about that before because I wanted to wait until time passed as much as possible and some normalcy was restored.). Once again, I am connected to my Diasporan hometown (though I hope that I may make aliyah in my lifetime). As such, I need a favor from fellow Columbians, and others in and connected to Howard County (Native Americans and Diasporans of all other peoples)—that is, I need you to get the word out about Maryland State Senator and Howard County Executive candidate Allan Kittleman.

As I discussed last night (and notice that I stated that as I discussed last night), President Obama's language sounds ignorant of the lesson that we read that Moshe (z"l) learned from Yitro (z"l) in Yitro (cf. esp. Shemot [Exodus] 18:13-26). On the other hand, the opposing idea of devolution and localization parallels Yitro's suggestions to Moshe.

Jews and Christians (including Jewish Christians like myself) will understand this if and as they read this week's Torah reading. Remember that Jews and Christians are to declare G-d's glory to the nations (cf. Yeshayahu 66:18-21), and part of that glory is devolution and localization. After all, what did G-d (B"H) command as the second-most important commandment to sum up Torah (cf. Matthew 22:39, Mark 12:31)? "[Y]ou shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord." (Vayikra [Leviticus] 19:18b, NKJV) Either way, G-d commanded this through Yeshua—whether one believes in Jesus (Yeshua) simply as a great rebbe or a talmid l'talmud raba, or Adonai Mishichenu Himself!

Loving one's neighbor, therefore, is a mitzvah rabah, and it inherently excludes burdening one's self and others with forms of big government. As stated in Parashat Yitro:

13 And so it was, on the next day, that Moses sat to judge the people; and the people stood before Moses from morning until evening. 14 So when Moses’ father-in-law saw all that he did for the people, he said, “What is this thing that you are doing for the people? Why do you alone sit, and all the people stand before you from morning until evening?”15 And Moses said to his father-in-law, “Because the people come to me to inquire of God. 16 When they have a difficulty, they come to me, and I judge between one and another; and I make known the statutes of God and His laws.”17 So Moses’ father-in-law said to him, “The thing that you do is not good. 18 Both you and these people who are with you will surely wear yourselves out. For this thing is too much for you; you are not able to perform it by yourself. 19 Listen now to my voice; I will give you counsel, and God will be with you: Stand before God for the people, so that you may bring the difficulties to God. 20 And you shall teach them the statutes and the laws, and show them the way in which they must walk and the work they must do. 21 Moreover you shall select from all the people able men, such as fear God, men of truth, hating covetousness; and place such over them to be rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. 22 And let them judge the people at all times. Then it will be thatevery great matter they shall bring to you, but every small matter they themselves shall judge. So it will be easier for you, for they will bear the burden with you. 23 If you do this thing, and God socommands you, then you will be able to endure, and all this people will also go to their place in peace.”24 So Moses heeded the voice of his father-in-law and did all that he had said. 25 And Moses chose able men out of all Israel, and made them heads over the people: rulers of thousands, rulers of hundreds, rulers of fifties, and rulers of tens. 26 So they judged the people at all times; the hard cases they brought to Moses, but they judged every small case themselves.

Nonetheless, as aforestated, President Obama's language sounds ignorant about this. Thus, President Obama—who swore that he'd "act on [his] own" if he would have to do so—makes himself sounds as though he is willing to unnecessarily burden himself and the American people. In contrast, the late Former President Ronald Reagan (z"l) took a lesson from Yitro and devolved and localized government.

So, what does any of this have to with the favor of which I asked fellow Columbians, and others in and connected to Howard County (Native Americans and Diasporans of all other peoples)? It has to do with that:

1. There are many Jewish and Christian (and Jewish Christian) voters in and connected to Howard County. For example, you might be a member of Congregation Beth Shalom (and if you are a member, you should already know that it's in Columbia); or you might be a friend of a congregant of Emmanuel Messianic Jewish Congregation (in Clarksville). On the other hand, your friend's friend might attend Christ Episcopal Church (in Columbia); or you yourself might attend Harvester Baptist Church (in the Howard County seat city, Ellicott City).
2. Jews and Christians (and Jewish Christians) are among the largest voting groups in any given election.
3. At least quite a few Jews and Christians (and Jewish Christians) would agree with the lesson that Moshe learned and that the late Former President Reagan took from Yitro. Also, what Former President Reagan stated about Hispanics is true for Jews: "They're Republicans; they just don't know it yet"—and a Massachusettsan Reform Jew (who is a counterpart to quite a few Jews in Howard County) can teach us that as well.
4. As far as I know, Senator and County Executive candidate Allan Kittleman agrees with the very-Jewish, very-Christian, and Reaganite policies of devolution and localization.
5. In contrast to Senator and County Executive candidate Allan Kittleman, President Obama (who is the current leader of the Democratic Party) believes in an-inherently unJewish, unChristian, and unReaganite policy of centralization and statism. Meanwhile, Senator Kittleman's rival candidate, County Councilwoman Courtney Watson, is part of President Obama's party—and the party line at the local, state, and federal levels is the line of centralization and statism.
6. Howard County must not give in to a party line and policy that goes against the Judeo-Christian lines and policies that have made Howard County a great county, and the United States a great county, over the past century and sixty-three years.

Therefore, I urge everyone who is connected to Howard County in any way, shape, or form to get the word out about  Howard County Councilwoman Watson's (and President Obama's) rival in the Howard County Executive election, Maryland State Senator and Reaganite Allan Kittleman.

At This Point...

I'm just getting resigned. That I don't want a job is not the case. That I want to stay home like this all day, etc. is not the case. That I went to college to get a degree for nothing is hopefully not the case. But what do I do?

I already acknowledged that I'm nobody special. Even though my mom suggested that volunteering for Maryland State Senator Kittleman's campaign might get me noticed, so what? Other people volunteer for campaigns and get noticed, get interviewed and told to send their resumes in, etc.. Other people are also, as I am, on Blogger, LinkedIn, etc.. Speaking of resumes, by the way, I either have to rewrite my resume (which is scant) or owe my (now-former) Facebook friend a handwoven tallit which I promised him for writing up my resume for me (He used the information which I gave him from LinkedIn.).

I'm going to need a miracle, which I already knew and hoped that I wouldn't need as much if I got the ITB pump, etc. (which I did). For some reason, those ranging from Kate Upton (a model) to Gabby and Anna Hoffman (political activists and commentators) don't even have to try (or at least in the traditional ways), and they get all the luck (or the blessing). Kate Upton, for example, was picked up just after doing the Dougie Dance on a YouTube video. Gabby and Anna were both noted for their political activism and commentary on Twitter.

Even the self-important Toby Keith had a miracle story: after promising God that he would quit trying to become a country singer by the time that he was 30, he got in to the country-music industry at 32 (and broke his promise) by handing a sample tape to a flight-crew member who eventually gave the tape to Harold Shedd (and somehow, God let him get in. Maybe God's given Toby over to sin and its consequences, though: how well's he doing now? Not as well as he once was.).

Again, that I want to be resigned is not the case. I keep holding out for a miracle. Maybe, although I'd like to believe that verses such as Matthew 21:22 and James 4:3 could apply to me (and I've asked), I'm just (or maybe I should just be) giving up hope. If life continues this way, I'm just going to find that dream-zapper strip, photograph or scan it myself, and post it as my background on my desktop or something else (e.g., as a conclusion to) a blog entry.

Of course, I could ask for prayer; but who's going to pray for me at this point? Maybe some will. Also, I feel guilty about even posting and sharing this because what if I should have left it private or buried unless I jinxed my chances at a miracle? Here posting this blog entry and seeing what happens (and praying and figuring what else I have to do—to get God's favor, maybe even a miracle somehow) goes.

 (And what do I have to do? Read the Bible more or more of the Bible as much as possible? Pray more? Fast?)

What Makes Me Special? Well...

Nothing, really; and I get that. In fact, I know that Scripture even expounds quite thoroughly on that point: for example, I ought to "not to think of [my]self more highly than [I] ought to think, but to think soberly, as God has dealt to each one a measure of faith." (Romans 12:3, NKJV) Besides, I damned well know that people are going to ignore me, tell me to shut up, etc.. If they don't tell me to shut up, etc. to my face, they're surely telling me what they're telling me behind their computer or mobile-device screens.

As I've stated as well, at least trying to be humble and honest (as is my Christian duty) leaves me all the more in non-employment limbo. One of the criticisms that I got was that I was too personal in my interview video. Well, excuse me—what would have happened if I didn't disclose that, for instance, I have Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD until an interview? Either way, I'm screwed: damned if I do, and damned if I don't!

As I've also stated, I would drive around to employment places and send out resumes, etc. if I could, I would. Then again, I really have no resume on which to go. Furthermore,  doing the YouTube video and utilizing social media to even seek an interview in this day and age has ironically (and/or paradoxically) backfired—here, as a friend noted, I was trying to be innovative and, in my innovation, miserably failed. 

The irony further comes to light when one considers how a YouTube video helped Kate Upton, who was not even trying to be discovered, become discovered. From how I heard the story when I watched Geraldo Rivera's show, this girl was dancing at a game for fun (I remembered it being a football game—my bad), and a talent scout discovered the video and asked this girl if she'd like to model. Meanwhile, I tried to make a video to seek an interview partly because of how Kate Upton's story affected me, and I got few or no points for innovation.

Besides, how cool is having my mom drive me around all of the time? Let a kid who wasn't born disabled tell you. I can't find the video now, but there's a video where a 30-year-old man in a wheelchair rhetorically asks "How cool is it to have your mom as your best friend?" In addition, I had a 27-year-old college classmate who once talked about how he got jazz for still being in college at 27 years of age—not that he is disabled, but still being in college at 27 years of age and being a disabled 24-year-old woman who can't drive share the "not cool" factor.

So, I'm certainly not special—I get that. But I still have a dream, I guess—a dream of getting somewhere with being as humble as possible and using what I can with what I have and where I am. If nothing else, this could be my sad, pathetic life at best:

This isn't the comic strip that originally came to mind. I was thinking about the strips about Rat's dream zapper, but this strip works, too —except my Saturdays are spent at counseling and around the house.

My Own Answer To "What Does the Douglas Family Say About Natalie Wood?"

I look at my blog search results quite often, and I saw a result that reminded me of one of those ugly truths—I come from a family who has no problems in covering up the truth, and that unfortunately extends to Kirk Douglas' side of the family (Yes; I am somehow related to him—the Danilowiczes of Krasne, Poland and Chavusy, Belarus are related in some way, and I didn't exactly figure that out by choice. I figured that out when someone asked me if my being a Danilowicz meant that I'm related to Issur Danielovich, and I said "No" because I either didn't see or didn't think about those pictures that, for example, give our distinctive chin away—and it is not a Czarnecki chin, after all.).

I can't speak for the Douglas side of the family; although, as far as I understand, they have never confessed to what happened. As for my side, I'm guessing that that's part of why I was not told that I am Jewish, let alone a Danilowicz who is related to the Chavusy Danieloviches. I grant that the relationship is (as far as I know) very distant, but it's there.

The story that we were given for years is that we're Polish Lithuanians related to Stefan Czarniecki (although the way that they couched it led me to understand that Great-Grandma Czarnecki is Lithuanian). Then when I found out that we're Jewish, that's when I got a print out from Pop-Pop about Stefan Czarniecki. At that point, I was not fooled by Pop-Pop's attempt. He even later changed his story to, "If we had any Jewish blood, I don't know about it."

That's how at least some Daniloviches do it, I guess—that is, we are damned skilled at covering things up and/or denying them. In our minds, for example, never mind that Tony Czarnecki, Sr. came from the Ashkenazi Jewish Andrulevicus family from Stakliskes, and the very same Andrulevicus family who made up their distinct surname. Never mind that the Andrulevicus-Morgoviciute branch left when Shmuil Morgovich died of tuberculosis, and that the story of Alexandria Andrulewicz Czarnecki's 1882 birthdate really does check out. Never mind that Alexandria listed her in-law mother as "Katarzyna Czerniezka" (though her name really wasn't "Katarzyna"), even though Alexandria and her husband were not talking to or maintaining a writing relationship with the family.

Also never mind any other facts. That's again how Daniloviches do it, apparently. That's how "Katarzyna"'s relative Andrulewicz-born relative (cousin or niece) Alexandria Alice did it. That's how her husband Julian Czernecki did it. That's how their son Tony did it, his son Jack did it, and their cousin Mia did it—and she called me a "fucking psycho" when I mentioned the facts (sorry, Mia; you're only Jack's cousin—I'm his granddaughter! Try living with that! By the way, I'm personally glad that we're Jewish; and you have to worry only that God didn't give you a better cousin—I have to worry that God didn't give me a better Jewish granddad, and that the good has to come with the bad in this case. Unencumbered until the "fucking psycho" came into the picture, you never had to worry about your past and the real story behind it—from what I remember, you weren't even really told about it).

That's how Daniloviches do it, I guess, as I said—we don't let facts get in the way; or if we do care about facts, we get called "fucking psycho[es]" and every other name that our family members can think to call us. After all, what's lying on a naturalization record, for example? No big deal, except that we could've gotten deported to a country that only a few of us were born in—then again, maybe Julian was willing to jeopardize to life of his Poland-born son Tony and his other (United States-born) children to go back to Poland. Maybe, like his in-law brother and sister (Ignacy and Feliksa Zdancewiczowna Andrulewicz), he was more than willing to go back to about-to-be Soviet Poland instead of live in the "Treif Medina"! He did donate to a "Free Poland" fund, and Ignacy and Feliksa left small-town Cedar Rapids to go back to Poland—though their sons, Julian's nephews, Wencil, Anthony, and Wladyslaw all came back to America.

We're so willing to hide and/or deny matters and the facts surrounding them (whether the matters involve Natalie Wood's rape—on the Douglas side of the family—or the fact that we're Jews who believe in waiting to make aliyah until Mashiach comes and not living in any "treif medina" in the meanwhile—on the Andrulewicz-Czernecki side of the family), and we're willing to jeporadize others to do so.

Meanwhile, Julian died in 1922 and Alexandria died in 1936. Both died in the United States, and their children who survived to the Mid 1960s got a letter asking for the deed to the Czernecki Family Farm to be changed. As for Ignacy and Feliksa, they died and are buried in Poland. Whether or not they regretted their decision, I don't know. I also don't know what happened to their children Joe, Walter, and Mary, and I've found no records indicating that they ever came back to the United States. As for Wladyslaw, he died at the U.S. Consulate in Poland; but he may have just been over in then-newly-freed Poland for a visit—so, I can't say whether or not he eventually bought into the old bubbe meise that Jews are supposed to stay in the Diaspora until Mashiach comes (Incidentally and ironically, Ketubot 111a of the Talmud that the Andrulevicuses cherised as both Anusim and as openly-Jewish Jews states that Jews who die in the Diaspora will not be resurrected unless they are worthy to roll to Israel.).

On the Douglas side, Kirk Douglas never worked with Natalie Wood again because she didn't want to work with him. Kirk's victim, nonetheless, never got justice, and she drowned at the age of 43. Kirk, meanwhile, is long past being able to be prosecuted, and he's somehow lived to be 97 years old—not unlike his cousins John and Stanley Czarnecki could have, even though the two made it only to 83 and 81 years of age (although longevity may have been an Andrulewicz trait in their cases—after all, their uncle Ignacy made it to 81 years of age as well. Then again, Ignacy and Alexandria were somehow Daniloviches by blood as well—as far as I can tell, grandchildren; since there were quite a few "Alexandria Alice"s born from 1880-1910 within that family, and Ashkenazi naming custom dictates one to name a child after a decedent in the decedent's honor and the interest of not confusing the Angel of Death!).

As for Mia and I, we're still not talking—again, facts got in the way for Mia!

In conclusion, I can't reiterate enough that that's how Daniloviches apparently do it—we either hide and/or deny the facts, or we get persecuted for discovering and/or admitting them and facing them.

PS Why would somebody ever lie about rape? Not that people don't; but for Natalie Wood to not want to work with Kirk Douglas and having her sister say that some macher did rape her is fairly significant. Also, as you may get by now, Kirk Douglas comes from a family who's not afraid to lie and jeopardize others in doing so. By the way, my older blog entries read that I don't think that I am related to Kirk Douglas—and that was when I just thought that "Danielovich" was a patronymic, not his original family name. I came across those entries when I was trying to find the link to this one post in which Natalie Wood's rape is mentioned and Kirk Douglas' name is blacked out.

By the way, when it does come out that Kirk Douglas raped Natalie Wood, you're going to hear me apologize on behalf of the Danilovich family—I've apologized on behalf of my side of the family; I can apologize on behalf of Kirk Douglas' side, and I'd like to clear the Danilovich family name of any wrong that the Danilovich families have done while I can.

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Speaking Of the Tone That I Used In My Last Video...

I'm reminded of what conservative African Americans and Jews for Jesus have in common. For example:

1. Both conservative African Americans and Jews for Jesus are told that they are no longer or never were part of their respective ethnic groups.
2. If we're not told that we are no longer or never were part of our respective ethnic groups, we're called all kinds of horrible names. For example, Jews for Jesus like me are called (among other epithets) apostate soul stealers and self-hating Jews who are at the point at which we are trying to finish the job of Hitler and the other Nazis (Yemach shemam). As for conservative African Americans, they are called names such as "the White man's b****es" and "sellouts".
3. We have heinous lies spread about us—as if being called apostate soul stealers and Nazi-like self haters or "White man's b****es" and "sellouts" weren't being lied about enough. Among those lies are lies that claim our legacies for our persecutors' sides. In the case of conservative African Americans, they have the legacy of Reverend Martin Luther King, Jr., Ph.D. taken away from them. In the case of Jews for Jesus, the same happens in the opposite way—that is, Messianic Jews see our Messianic Jewish compatriots like Chosen People Ministries founder Dr. Leopold Cohn perverted into fraudulent and goyische drunkards instead of kohanim who were part of a genuine strain of Judaism (See Dr. Cohn's Wikipedia entry, for example. It doesn't even recognize him as a Hungarian Jew or an American Jew.).
4. We're threatened consistently. For example, Yad L'Achim and Jews for Judaism were created for the sole purpose of persecuting Messianic Jews and trying to dissuade people from even hearing about Messianic Judaism and the Jewish roots of Christianity. As for conservative African Americans, they have their families threatened—as I recall, Colonel and Former Representative Allen West once talked about how some young punks either came to or otherwise connected to his office and threatened his wife.

So when African Americans and Jews go against the grain of what is apparently supposed to be—since Jews are apparently not supposed to be Christians (although Christianity is a form of Essenic Judaism), and African Americans are apparently not supposed to be like Colonel and Former Respresentative Allen West, Dr. Bill Cosby, Reverend Martin Luther King, Ph.D.; and Former Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice, Ph.D.—, we are persecuted in every way from being called ethnic posers and self loathers, to be slandered and even threatened. 

Who Am I More To Complain Than Anyone Else; Right? Well...

Example One and Example Two might give you a clue. Also, I majored in Political Science at UMBC, and I thought that majoring in Poli. Sci. might get me picked up by someone, especially if I was already blogging, on LinkedIn, etc.. I also always heard about how UMBC grads get so hired, and even how one of Fox News' contributors (Kirsten Powers) is a UMBC grad! Either I'm the exception to the rule (since, as I recall, Megyn Kelly and Laurie Dhue are two of numerous examples of Political Science majors who have careers and have even taken off in them), or (if some articles that I've read are correct) I fell for the exceptions (since Poli. Sci. majors are among the least likely to get employed).

If you didn't read Examples One and Two, by the way, keep reading: I'll gladly add for you why being a possibly-unemployable person who went through college just to be stuck on SSI benefits and perhaps even better off in a corner drinking myself to death might be my life (and then you'll see why I might be better off in a corner drinking myself to death, although I surely as Heaven and Hell wouldn't do it):

1. I'll have gone through all the crap in my life for, at best, just the same or, obviously at worst, even worse in the end.
2. Since I'll have gone through what I've gone through for just more of the same or even worse, then (for instance) getting a ITB pump and going to physical therapy will really have been a worthless, meaningless, waste of time.
3. I'll be living as an alteh moid (read: "spinster") in my mom's house until (unless the Rapture comes) she dies (and she's in her late 50s; so, God forbid, anything could happen within 10-15 years at minimum); and I'm not going to be able to take care of her like I otherwise could if something does happen and/or she doesn't live up to or beyond 70-80 years.
4. Again, I'll be on SSI benefits. So, I won't have my own income. Besides, who is going to want to take in the disabled relative or friend who might cramp his or her style and/or inconvenience his or her life? He or she might say that he or she would be wiling to take me in, but push to shove will tell both of us quite differently (and he or she will either prove to have not known him- or her-self well enough or come to light as a lying hypocrite who doesn't want the disabled around). After all, one can ask the Delta Airlines crew who shoved the crying Marine in the back of the plane, and Texas State Senator Wendy Davis—their victims weren't even born disabled, and they were more than willing to put them out of sight or use them as open targets.
5. I won't be exalted above my enemies (including my unforgivers), and God's promises will seem to mean nothing for me. My enemies will roundly say, "Aha! We knew that, that bitch wouldn't go anywhere. We knew that we'd beat her!"—or (as the Psalms can be applied to my situation) "They also opened their mouth wide against me, And said, “Aha, aha! Our eyes have seen it.”" (Psalm 35:21) Then what will God's promises about being humble, etc. (e.g., Psalm 70:2-4, Matthew 23:12, and James 4:6-10) mean for me and in my life? My enemies will, thus, have reason to gloat.

I could go on, but I already know at least some the responses that I'm going to get:

1. "Oh, poor baby....Shut the fuck up!"
2. "You think that you have it bad? Bullshit!"
3. "You might have it bad, but some people have it worse than you!" (as if that takes my pain away. Cue Response One or something similar—e.g., "Get over yourself!" or "Suck it up!")
4. "Other people are going through things, too." (Again, as if that takes my pain away! Nonetheless, Cue Response One.)
5. "You're proving your enemies' points!" (Or, if you are my enemy, "You're proving my point!")
6. "You'll get better when you get to Heaven!" (Sure; and even if I do, have you read about David and Solomon, for example—and they got the best of both worlds?!)
7. "You can't have your cake and eat it, too, anyway." (Again, what about David and Solomon?)
8. Eye rolls
9. "By the way, if you wanted to be a voice for people who are going through crap or someone to whom they can relate them, you surely aren't that voice or that someone. Nice try, though—oh no; wait: your effort makes you look pathetic and worsening your fate at best, and adding to even others' miseries at worst."
10. Just being ignored (And Job and Jeremiah had it better. I even sometimes wish that my enemies would yell at me and say, "I hate you!" or "I hate you because...". At least Jeremiah had his enemies hate him to his face. Mine, whether I'm wrongly hated or just plain unforgiven, usually leave me to guess what I apparently or actually did and won't tell me.).

The even-sadder part is that I'm going these kinds of responses from supposed or even actual friends as well. At least Job had friends who could simply keep their mouths shut and comfort him for a while. Heck, I even got relatively-little support during my ITB Pump surgery in the end, for example. 52 likes on a post at max by one of my uncles, a couple of visits, and returned comic books from my dad, for instance—and I was on anesthesia for two consecutive days, I was throwing up from caffeine withdrawal (I couldn't even hold water down.), and I was in the hospital from July 17-August 2, 2013! I've seen and heard people get more support and well wishes for even less! 

Then people wonder why I complain, ask for prayer, etc....and add something like one of the 10 example responses above!