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Wednesday, September 7, 2011

This is Delegate Steve DeBoy (D)'s Cousin Nicole Writing..

I'm not just criticizing CNN, MSNBC, etc. for the fun of it. I come from a predominately-Jewish-Democrat & Irish-Catholic-Democrat, now somewhat-mixed Far-Left and Far-Right family with some leaning right, left, and right and left (that is, in the middle). I used to watch CNN until February 1, 2003 (about the or maybe even the last time that I watched it-- at least consistently).

I'm from liberal Baltoannapolis (Baltimore-Annapolis Metro Area). I have a meshuga twin who idolizes Rep. Michelle Bachmann (R-MN) and Ex-Gov. Sarah Palin (R-AK). I am the granddaughter of one of three now-former IRS Agents who served tax papers to Nixon-- John "Jack" Czarnecki, who's a Democrat and whose mother was a Clinton Democrat (and the Polish-Slovakian gentile Catholic who my Crypto-Jewish great-great-grandmother Alexandria Czarnecki hated). I am a cousin of Maryland State Delegate Steve DeBoy (D), from the illustrious and darned-right-Democrat Farrell-DeBoy line (who include actors Paul and P.J. DeBoy). I am also a second cousin of a Far-Left Jewish Taoist. I am furthermore a niece and the goddaughter of a consultant for and adviser to Governor Martin O'Malley.

So, I am not a Far-Right ideologue who's merely shilling for FOX News-- I've lived being on the Left (somewhat, anyway, since my mom shifted to the Right by the time that I was born; but I pointed to quite a bit of the rest of my family and my family history, anyway), and I've lived watching unfair-and-unbalanced news.

Sunday, September 4, 2011

"A Traitor Is A Still a Traitor" Continued

So a friend and I were talking about Nana Allen being a Sefardi'ah Yehudi'ah (which I've seen too much evidence of to think that she's just a Catolica Espanola y Irelandesa), and we got to talking about the Rusnaks et. al. again:

[Friend] Because that was the tendency of our forefathers covering what was our roots... I'm sorry about your Ta(Dad)
58 minutes ago ·

  • Nicole Czarnecki
    I am, too. He is missing such a rich part of our history. Meanwhile; one memory that'll always stick out to me: I was learning about the Shoah and
    said something in a moment of OCD/Anxiety panic. To attempt to assuage my fear and quiet me..., my dad deliberately drew a swastika on a piece of paper just
    to throw the paper in the fireplace. Little did I know:

    1) he has OCD/Anxiety.

    2) Great-Grandma Gaydos is lucky that she died in 1992. Had I known that
    the supposedly-sweet woman who died when I was two was a traitor back to her relatives in Europe.... and especially if she were still alive (She'd be
    104 this year; and she could've lived into her 90s and 100s if she'd wanted to); I'd've told her one or another thing. I didn't realize that Dad was
    that angry at Great-Grandma.. though I sure don't blame him. And I think that Great-Granddad may've been trying to get back at his wife, too, when he
    said that "We're Russian." Meanwhile; Great-Granddad's mom was a Uszinsky; and Great-Grandma's dad was of the Kosice, Slovakia Rusnaks (who've include Zionist Conference member Yoshua Rusnak), and her mom of Anusi Foskos (long story) and Hanzoks (Hanssaks) (who became Anusim perhaps later than I'd originally thought. They didn't flee Hungary until the Middle 1800s for Slovakia-- which was a relatively-more pro-Jewish part of Austria Hungary back then; and there are still Hanzoks in Hungary-- beats me why.)....

  • [Friend] you really have a rich history... And i know THE LORD preserved the Hanzoks in Hungary... And the Belskie are from Hungary, no? Have you seen the movie Defiance?
    36 minutes ago ·
  • Nicole Czarnecki
    I know of no relation to the Belskies that I have, but I know that the
    Foczkos fled from Hungary by 1776. The first baptism records for them are from Slovakia from 1776-- were they Catholic originally and not Anusim, the
    records would've g...one to Slovakia from Hungary. They didn't.

    Also, "Maria" and variants thereof were actually surprisingly common in Ashkenazic Jewish communities in Eastern Europe; but Aunt Mary was named for both her grandmothers (and Great-Great-Grandma Alexandria Andrulewicz
    Czarnecki would've been sick to know that her son Antoni had a granddaughter named for his "shiksa" wife-- she HATED her!), and the Foczkos (Foskos) have few "Marias", etc. among them. Great-Grandma was named "Marysia" for her grandmother Marysia "Maria" Novakova Rusnakova, by the way.

    Maria Novakova Rusnakova was part of the first Novak and Rusnak Anusim--
    and that's part of what made Great-Grandma's betrayal of the Rusnaks during the Shoah sicker! Grandma and Grandaunt Mary Ann still try to pass off that the Rusnaks wrote her to ask for money when they were really asking for
    help! But they're not 12 and 7 anymore!

    They can admit what their beloved mom did! They know that I'm not stupid or
    ignorant of Great-Grandma's stopping to write to them; and she lost the opportunity to preach the Gospel, if nothing else, because she refused to
    help them! I myself'd've said, "Screw FDR and Isolationist Policy." But she basically said that'd she'd rather screw justice and the name of Jesus-- and you can only imagine how they further saw us as Anusi-masked traitors, and Self-Hating-Jewish pogromists and crusaders who would give our relatives
    even up to the Nazis!

    Meanwhile, a Rusnak who did survive-- Tibor Geza-- became Roman Catholic (probably to be an Anusi in America), went to Ohio, never talked to us, and had himself cremated when he died in 2006. I found out all this through family research and other things, by the way.


  • By the way, Janet; that times were different then doesn't matter. I'll always be braver than you (I think, or at least until you can admit that your and Dad's beloved Grandma Gaydos was a coward and true koferah el Yeshua v'Aminu). And I wonder what September 22, 1992 at the Judgement was like for Great-Grandma.







     

    Thursday, August 25, 2011

    Forget the Elitism Against Gwyneth Paltrow Martin and The Paltrow-Martin Children...

    If there is ever a Jewish Elitism; the Jewish Elitism is in especially the unprovoked and opportunistic persecutions of Messianic Jews (Jewish Christians), as Nate Goldstein and Shani prove to anyone who's paying attention (perhaps including Ilana Angel):

    Her kids are not not Jewish so your article is moot.




    Though your article us useful to identify you as a lowly sycophant.



    Comment by Dexter on 7/25/11 at 4:59 pm

    Well Gwyneth Paltrow’s Jewish father probably qualifies her to be Jewish under Reform’s standards, so there’s no particular reason she can’t raise her kids in that denomination.



    Comment by dee on 7/25/11 at 6:50 pm

    I think it’s great that Paltrow has stated publicly that she’s raising her children in the Jewish faith. I’m not quite sure how that works, considering neither she, nor her mother, nor her husband are Jewish…but, at least she brings publicity for the countless benefits and rewards of Jewish life…I wonder why Paltrow hasn’t converted herself, considering she obviously values a Jewish upbringing above all others?



    Comment by Shani on 7/25/11 at 8:24 pm

    By reform standards she can raise both her kids Jewish. But I think what she is referring to is their cultural heritage and ethnicity and not their religious affinity. In any case, many people are discovering their Jewish roots and choosing to re-acquire that heritage. All the more power to them. In the long run of course, it will be up to her children and not her to ultimately decide the extent of their own Jewishness. You said, “The Jewish population is getting smaller”. Perhaps one of the main causes of this is Jews who discourage the ownership of one’s own heritage because they don’t fit their narrow elitist definition of “who’s a Jew”.



    Comment by Mashiach on 7/26/11 at 7:42 am

    “I’m not quite sure how that works, considering neither she, nor her mother, nor her husband are Jewish”. That’s hilarious and quite accurate. She might as well announce that she is raising her kids Eskimo. Although it would be smarter to raise them as Navajos and get them a piece of that casino income.



    If you are Orthodox then being Jewish is both a religion and a nationality. If you are a Zionist it is not a religion, and if you are a Reform Jew it is not a nationality, but until now we have had no category for ‘none of the above’.



    Comment by Ben Plonie on 7/26/11 at 2:42 pm

    This seems kind of odd in light of her husband’s support of the Palestinians. Do a search on Chris Martin and Palestine.



    Comment by Jason on 7/27/11 at 7:16 pm

    I just did. Not to judge a book by its cover, but he looks like a moron. As for G.P.‘s intention; depending on your POV being Jewish has nothing to do with family, God, Israel, history, sprituality, religion, politics, self interest, self determination, ritual, practices, disciplines or a given culture. It is entirely subjective and inconsistent between individuals, and who is qualified to say which is right and what is real? This is how you get ‘rabbis’ for Palestine and all that. Today it has become a good deed for some to support Israel’s enemies and undermine Israel. These are people so removed from reality that the are not capable of considering the source of those ideas.



    Comment by Ben Plonie on 7/28/11 at 7:51 pm

    The Jewish people are an ethnic group first, and being Jewish comes from either one or both of the sides—ignore Kiddushin 68b, and focus on D’varim 7:1-5 for itself. In light of D’varim 7:1-5 (among other parshot), I find Gwyneth Paltrow to be a Self-Hating Jew who does no good for ‘ameinu by supporting Pleshet over Yisra’el—what is a Jewish woman doing supporting the remnant of Goliat’s people over the fellow descendants of Ya’akov?



    Comment by Nicole Czarnecki on 7/31/11 at 2:43 pm

    This whole thing is Bulls—t!!!! If you had a Jewish and a non-Jewish parent usually you grew up favoring one or the other!!!

    Whether your mother or father was Jewish is besides the point!!! If you believe you are Jewish and claim to be then you are!!! Bill Maher’s mother was Jewish…he was raised Catholic…he never claimed to be Jewish…he is NOT Jewish!!! Paul Newman’s mother was not Jewish he chose to be Jewish…therefore he was Jewish!!!

    Michael Douglas was raised ???...his mother was not Jewish…He always felt Jewish via his dad…He Is Jewish!!!



    Comment by Nate Goldstein on 8/10/11 at 9:38 am

    I remember when Michael Douglas MC’d an Israeli Special Anniversary on TV and said he was proud to be a Jew…later in the newspapers some crazy orthodox rabbi’s claimed he was not Jewish because of his mother…Michael was incensed claiming who were those nuts to tell him what he was or wasn’t??? Sarah Michelle Gellar & Julia Louis Dreyfus both deny being Jewish…srew ‘em…so be it!!! Michael Richards, neither parent Jewish, believes he is Jewish…says he always felt Jewish…What do we do with him???



    Comment by Marty Stone on 8/10/11 at 9:50 am

    To be a Jew is to be a citizen of the Israelite nation. We have a federal nation and the tribes are our states.



    1) A child of two Jewish parents is a citizen of Israel and with inheritance rights in its father’s state.

    2) A child of a Jewish father only is not a citizen of Israel.

    3) A child of a Jewish mother only is a citizen of Israel but a citizen of no state, with no land rights.

    4) A naturalized citizen (convert) is comparable to one with no Jewish father.



    The law is the law and it doesn’t matter how we feel about it. The law is never going away.



    Comment by Ben Plonie on 8/10/11 at 9:30 pm

    Today the Indians have casinos and each Indian receives a share of the casino income. Anyone who is not a lawful Jew but insists he or she is one can try to claim to be a Cherokee and demand some of the casino income.



    Comment by Ben Plonie on 8/10/11 at 9:31 pm

    ...More BS…More BS…if you left it up to the hypocritical orthodox Jews there would be NO Israel!!! How dare they refuse to accept someone as a Jew if they want to be one merely because their mother is a non Jew!!! We can’t afford to throw away our “Lantzmann” like that and survive. My family is secular, yet we follow all the holidays, our kids married Jews and we have been told that we are the most “Culturally Jewish” people any of our friends know!!! Let your local Chabbad fight us over whether we are Jews just because we don’t go to Temple.



    Comment by Nate Goldstein on 8/10/11 at 11:20 pm

    Meanwhile, a now-former friend of mine who’s a kohein (as my sister told me) thinks that Judaism is meshuga, although he loves being Jewish and supports Israel—and he’s very Far Left! As Nate Goldstein noted, “Let your local Chabbad fight us over whether we are Jews just because we don’t go to Temple.” In fact, isn’t that why many of us don’t even go to Temple or any shul of any sort? Granted that I’m a Messianic Jew, but that’s actually another thing as well—why can’t Jews believe in Jesus (Yeshua) if we can believe in Bar Kochva, Menachem Schneerson, or whoever else one could name?



    Comment by Nicole Czarnecki on 8/10/11 at 11:31 pm

    Hey Nicole…you lost me with…“I’m a Messianic Jew”!!! We can’t believe in jesus because he turned left while the rest of us were going right!!!



    Jews for Jesus are christians…very simple!!!

    Jesus was a Jew who was searching…his followers decided he was the deity!!!

    In their misguided faith in their new religion the christ followers decided to “murder off” the competition…I give you the inquisition, the pogroms, the holocaust, etc.all!!!



    Because of that history…switching sides, as you did, and trying to take others of us with you becomes the ultimate blasphemy and indignity towards those LOST millions of our bretheren!!!



    Comment by Nate Goldstein on 8/11/11 at 10:17 am

    Nate, I wasn’t here to proselytize but to give an example re your point. You sadly made your own point: “...More BS…More BS…if you left it up to the hypocritical orthodox Jews there would be NO Israel!!!” and “Let your local Chabbad fight us over whether we are Jews just because we don’t go to Temple.” You are more fit to join a haredi (“Chabad”) movement than you would like to claim.



    Comment by Nicole Czarnecki on 8/11/11 at 11:08 pm

    Nicole:

    nah…you’re wrong…we are basicly agnostic/secularists. HOWEVER…we are very strongly Jewish culturists!!!....we won’t go to temple…but we’ve been to Israel 3 times…and support them AS MUCH AS Possible!!!...also we just about “Kvell” when we pass by the ultra orthodox with the remnents of their Russian black garb walking with their familys on Pico/Fairfax area….because they are fighting their uphill battle to preserve their faith.



    BUT NOW…it’s just because of that Jewish DNA that I possess that I go crazy when I come across messianics and jews for jesus.



    Comment by Nate Goldstein on 8/12/11 at 12:56 pm

    “Jews” for Jesus is the title of a Christian religious organization. It’s not that we “can’t” believe in Jesus (whatever that means),it’s that there is no “Jesus” in Jewish culture, tradition, scripture,or religious practices. When you’re Jewish, temple or not, there is no worldview that encompasses any type of “salvation” because a human allowed himself to be sacrificed as some sort of political statement.



    Comment by Shani on 8/12/11 at 4:35 pm

    Nate and Shani, you two are proving that many Jews are way too elitist against fellow Jews. Also, I already clarified that I’m not here to proselytize. So, knock off your Anti Missionarism.



    Comment by Nicole Czarnecki on 8/12/11 at 4:43 pm

    Why would I “knock off” being against missionizing? In any case, you can missionize to your heart’s content,but if you think such an action is culturally,socially,politically,religiously, or traditionally Jewish, you are wrong. Missionizing or suggesting we’re “incomplete”, (as many missionaries claim), is elitist.As a Christian, you have to live with the consequences of the choice you made. You cannot expect observant Jews to understand those of you who believe in a life philosophy that encompasses the antithesis of being Jewish.



    Comment by Shani on 8/14/11 at 8:59 pm

    If you want to be a messianic…go be it!!!...but keep it to yourself!!!



    As soon as you try to drag your fellow Jews along you’re nothing better than a turncoat/traitor who’s pissing on the graves of the multi-millions who died rather than give up their spiritual beliefs.



    Comment by Nate Goldstein on 8/24/11 at 3:40 pm

    Shani, I already stated that I already clarified that I’m not here to proselytize. I simply mentioned that I’m a Messianic Jew to be in full disclosure. As I said, “In fact, isn’t that why many of us don’t even go to Temple or any shul of any sort? Granted that I’m a Messianic Jew, but that’s actually another thing as well—why can’t Jews believe in Jesus (Yeshua) if we can believe in Bar Kochva, Menachem Schneerson, or whoever else one could name?”



    What’s elitist is suggesting that I may not believe that Jesus (Yeshua) is the Messiah if another Jew can believe that Bar Kosiva or Menachem Schneerson is Mashiach.



    Comment by Nicole Czarnecki on 8/24/11 at 3:41 pm

    Nate and Shani, I wasn’t trying to drag anyone along; and I find your attitude unacceptably and intolerably elitist, as I was merely disclosing my Messianic Jewish beliefs in order to explain why I understand why many Jews do not go to shul—because of both intolerance of haredim and frankly because of intolerance such as yours.



    Comment by Nickidewbear on 8/24/11 at 4:01 pm

    Jews don’t “believe in” Jesus. Period. Christians, and only Christians do. There is a major difference between being fooled/hoping someone is Messiah and believing that a man who died thousands of years ago is G_d. One action is naive, the other goes against the soul.



    Comment by Shani on 8/24/11 at 5:14 pm

    Perhaps Ilana Angel ought to have chazak v'ematz and write "Are Jews Too Elitist To Accept Jewish Christians [or Messianic Jews, or Jews for Jesus, or followers of Jesus of Nazareth]"?

    Sunday, July 31, 2011

    Is Ilana Angel Elitist? We Know That Haredim Are Elitist; So To Dexter's Point

    The Jewish people are an ethnic group first, and being Jewish comes from either one or both of the sides-- ignore Kiddushin 68b, and focus on D'varim 7:1-5 for itself. In light of D'varim 7:1-5 (among other parshot), I find Gwyneth Paltrow to be a Self-Hating Jew who does no good for 'ameinu by supporting Pleshet over Yisra'el-- what is a Jewish woman doing supporting the remnant of Goliat's people over the fellow descendants of Ya'akov?

    By the way, Ilana's chutzpah is staggering (and "hutz-pah"; the "c" is silent or not there in the original Hebrew, which is what Yidish messed up. I just wanted to remind Rep. Michele "Party of 'No'" Bachmann as she jeporadizes the US' greatest ally by voting "No" on even the McConnell Compromise-- how'd the Reid and $2.8-T ones work, Rep. Bachmann?).

    Saturday, July 30, 2011

    Why Do Wicked Men Prevail?

    Yesterday

    Don Christolear


    Disrespectful

    I find your upside down flag very disrespectful. I don't care how upset you might be with our current administration, as I am, but you do dishonor to the flag by displaying it that way. You, personally, are not in distress. That's the ONLY reason you're to hang the flag in that manner.



    Yesterday

    Nicole Czarnecki


    Sir, with all due respect, everyone should be in distress over the economic and partisan political situation in this country. And as a Jew, I note how Israel's greatest ally is inevitably going to fall on August 2nd unless by some miracle.



    Yesterday

    Don Christolear


    I agree with all of the above but you are still disrespecting my flag by displaying that way. You are young so you haven't yet learned what that flag represents. I'm as conservative as they make them but I would never disrespect my flag by using it as a protest symbol. We work with many veterans and current military who would be glad to remove a flag displayed in this manner if it were hanging from your home.


    And, BTW, the sky is not falling as politicians from both sides wish you to believe.


    Lastly, I too am a huge supporter of Israel but do not understand the connection to the current situation.


    Because our fighting men and women gave you the right to display the flag in this manner, I am simply asking you to replace it to show respect to all who have fought and died for that very flag.


    Thank you





    18 hours ago

    Nicole Czarnecki


    Sir, I understand exactly why the flag should be upside down; and if we default, the sky (so to speak) will fall. And if you support Israel, you should know that the US is her greatest ally and that many of us in the Diaspora came here when we could not make aliyah (a return to Israel). BTW, I have relatives, both living and deceased, who fought under that flag-- and one of whom died under that flag, and who this country never honored (given that he was a Jew and a Catholic, and that it took him 18 years to die from his war injuries).






    I find your assumptions and presumptions arrogant, and your ignorance and apathy especially regarding US-Israel (American-Jewish, including Jewish-American intra- and inter-relations) Anti Semitic.



    17 minutes ago

    Don Christolear


    So, the fact that I am a Christian and believes that the Jews are God's chosen people, this makes me an anti Semite? Little girl, little girl, you have a lot to learn about people. You're way too young to be this angry.


    I, too, was a liberal when I was young but I grew up.


    Arrogant? Call it what you will. I just call it being tired of crybaby kids who have NO clue on what's really happening in this great country and refuse to let you anti Americans destroy it. I can keep this up as long as you want but would rather not waste my time with you. I'll pray to the God of the Jews and then of the Christians that He direct your hostilities in a more positive direction.


    I also respect Israel so much that I would NEVER disrespect their flag in the manner that you're disrespecting mine.

    What makes Don Christolear more of a vile bully is that he also blocked me so that I could not respond to his deliberate twisting and decontextualization of my words. At times like these, I'm reminded of the following:

    7 O LORD, You induced me, and I was persuaded;

    You are stronger than I, and have prevailed.

    I am in derision daily;

    Everyone mocks me.

    8 For when I spoke, I cried out;

    I shouted, “Violence and plunder!”

    Because the word of the LORD was made to me

    A reproach and a derision daily.

    9 Then I said, “I will not make mention of Him,

    Nor speak anymore in His name.”

    But His word was in my heart like a burning fire

    Shut up in my bones;

    I was weary of holding it back,

    And I could not.

    10 For I heard many mocking:



    “ Fear on every side!”



    “ Report,” they say, “and we will report it!”

    All my acquaintances watched for my stumbling, saying,



    “ Perhaps he can be induced;

    Then we will prevail against him,

    And we will take our revenge on him.”

    11 But the LORD is with me as a mighty, awesome One.

    Therefore my persecutors will stumble, and will not prevail.

    They will be greatly ashamed, for they will not prosper.

    Their everlasting confusion will never be forgotten.

    12 But, O LORD of hosts,

    You who test the righteous,

    And see the mind and heart,

    Let me see Your vengeance on them;

    For I have pleaded my cause before You.

    13 Sing to the LORD! Praise the LORD!

    For He has delivered the life of the poor

    From the hand of evildoers.

    14 Cursed be the day in which I was born!

    Let the day not be blessed in which my mother bore me!

    15 Let the man be cursed

    Who brought news to my father, saying,



    “ A male child has been born to you!”

    Making him very glad.

    16 And let that man be like the cities

    Which the LORD overthrew, and did not relent;

    Let him hear the cry in the morning

    And the shouting at noon,

    17 Because he did not kill me from the womb,

    That my mother might have been my grave,

    And her womb always enlarged with me.

    18 Why did I come forth from the womb to see labor and sorrow,

    That my days should be consumed with shame?

    Righteous are You, O LORD, when I plead with You;


    Yet let me talk with You about Your judgments.

    Why does the way of the wicked prosper?

    Why are those happy who deal so treacherously?

    2 You have planted them, yes, they have taken root;

    They grow, yes, they bear fruit.

    You are near in their mouth

    But far from their mind.

    3 But You, O LORD, know me;

    You have seen me,

    And You have tested my heart toward You.

    Pull them out like sheep for the slaughter,

    And prepare them for the day of slaughter.

    4 How long will the land mourn,

    And the herbs of every field wither?

    The beasts and birds are consumed,

    For the wickedness of those who dwell there,

    Because they said, “He will not see our final end.”

    When You're Like Me; Suicide Is Still Awfully Tempting No Matter How Painful It Is

    And maybe that's part of suicide's appeal-- the pain, the selfishness. For example, some people say that would miss me if I committed suicide-- boy, would I like to come back and see them put their money where there mouth is (I almost typed "mouth where their money is", but maybe that, too.). Besides, if they want me around so badly (and with all due respect and deference, STFU if you want to start kvetching about how this is typical suicidal talk, etc.; you will utz me):

    1. Why do they treat me like they'd rather me be dead? And while they're at it; some of them hate me because I'm on the lowest of the lowest, of the lowest of the lowest rung of the social ladder in general society-- the disabled. For example, I have Cerebral Palsy (Diplegic Spastia); and I don't hear anyone talking about Julie Cirella anymore-- in fact, I almost suspect that some think that Julie Cirella's mother did the right and honorable thing. But they sure as Heaven and Hell wouldn't say that if Julie Cirella weren't disabled (and forget that she's Black-- her disability, not her ethnicity, is what makes her less honored than Caylee Anthony, Leiby Kletzky-- of whom I am a fellow Israelite--, and the Coleman boys, for example.).
    2. Why do some of them try to contol my life and otherwise abuse (including ignore and withhold important information, including documents) from me, knowing that they damned well couldn't do that if I weren't disabled? FYI, Dad; were I not disabled, you never would've gotten away with even some of your physical abuse, let alone (among other actions) your verbal and other non-physical abuse and withholding that Great-Granddad Czarnecki and Great-Great-Granddad Foczko both committed suicide (which would have explained why I tried to commit suicide-- people without a history of suicide and/or other significant issues in their family and other history don't attempt or threaten suicide).
    3. Same question above, except my prime example-- my thought policewoman of a mother. You damned well know, Mom, that you would never try to control what I at 21 years old say, do, etc. if I weren't disabled and had prospects. And I'm sorrowed (Why should I be "sorry"? I'm not apologizing for having my own thoughts, etc. at 21; so I'm sorrowed)  that, for example, my being proud of my Jewish heritage (no matter how unproud of it Dad and his family are) isn't your cup of tea. Besides, see if I ever tweet about anything that you might need prayer for or any appreciation of anything that you do or go through again-- after all, you "don't want to live [your] life out in the public venue".
    I could give more examples, but I think that being on the most-times-over-lowest-of-the-lowest rung of the social ladder and easily abusable because of my Cerebral Palsy is an understandable reason for why I'm still often quite tempted to commit selfish suicide-- rub the pain that they've affected and effected in, and get the last laugh ("See you suckers! I'll be in Heaven; you'll still be here!").

    Sunday, July 24, 2011

    What I Was Going To Write To Kevin When He Refriended Me-- And He Refriended Me As He Said & I Began To Write This

    Kevin:




    Just to let you know; as a cousin and fellow Christian, I love and forgive you; and apologize for what I need to apologize. I want you to know that you don't have to feel compelled to refriend me if your heart really is not in it, even if it would seem to be the Christian thing to do. For your sake, I'm just asking you to think about that.



    I don't need you to refriend me if you don't want to-- don't you feel guilted into that. If you and others are angry at me, so what? More than anything, I would rather each and all of us be in friendship with G-d even if never are in friendship with each other until the next lifetime, be that "when He returns or calls us home".



    It is not easy for me to see how our family has really been over the years, especially in regards to the Gospel:



    "I tell the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience also bearing me witness in the Holy Spirit, that I have great sorrow and continual grief in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed from Christ for my brethren, my countrymen according to the flesh, who are Israelites, to whom pertain the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the service of God, and the promises; of whom are the fathers and from whom, according to the flesh, Christ came, who is over all, the eternally blessed God. Amen."

    I think that, more than anything, instead of coming to the One who can bind our wounds; we tried to cover our own wounds and only made our own wounds worse as well as hurt others-- especially "[our] brethren, [our] countrymen according to the flesh".

    As I told you:

    Whenever I heard Andrew and Julia Fosko Rusnak spoken of-- they were immigrants from Slovakia or Czechoslovakia who married in 1905, had kids, etc.. Never did I know that our family (even if I disagreed with some of the intent of their decisions)-- for example-- came over here to escape persecution after we couldn't assimilate in Slovakia; and many of us weren't just Crypto Jews (although some were, which is where I disagree with the intent: regardless of the meshuga AntiSemitism in the Church, we should've given Jesus a chance in our lives; and if and when our relatives thought that we were joining the traitors, so what?! And many of us were Jews who believed in Jesus; we were just too damned afraid and too damned quiet to emphasize that part) .



    Truth is a lot better (even if stranger and more disquieting) than fiction. By the way, I look at Great-Granduncles Andy, Carl, and Joe all the more as heroes for their going over there (Well, Great-Granduncles Carl and Joe were able to; but on the homefront, there was still Anti Semitism and also that "You can't be a Jew for Jesus!" attitude that Great-Granduncle Andy had to deal with every day!).
    And as I wrote to you in the last blog entry (and as hard as it can be-- and I've confessed that I continue to struggle with Self-Hating-Jewish thoughts every day, and I'll continue to day-by-day process that I have both more privilege and responsibility than the Polish-Irish-and-whatever-else gentile that I thought that I was):

    I intend to be that one or even one of those ones-- and Kevin Fosko, we can be Jews for Jesus. The question for you is what you're going to do: are you going to keep being like the generation who ultimately betrayed the Yehoshua Sh'mu'el Rusnak side of the family, or are you going to not have the inquity visit the next three and four generations-- should there even be such with the way that this world is going?
    I also said that "I'm not perfect and I do a lot of imperfect and imperfected things; but, Kevin Fosko, I will speak about our family. I will speak about what happened. I will speak about what I found out."

    I should've sometimes taken the higher road on things, but sometimes my attitude had to be (or at least seem) rough and tough on things-- and I love my family, even if some of you all won't ever love me-- let alone love me again, if you did.

    Before I keep kvetching and before I utz you, I ask you to think carefully about your decision. And if you decide not to refriend me after all, it's as those two country songs go: "I'm gonna smile..." (and I told you that in another blog entry, too-- and I told other family members as well. Don't think that I'm talking to only you.) and "It's okay to hurt, and it's okay to cry".

    And as I said, I think that, more than anything, instead of coming to the One who can bind our wounds; we tried to cover our own wounds and only made our own wounds worse as well as hurt others-- especially "[our] brethren, [our] countrymen according to the flesh".

    Can't we just hurt and cry for once-- and come to Jesus and not suffer ourselves or hurt others?