A Sobering Reality That I've Have Relearned This Week

If you don't stick with someone in his or her bad times, you don't deserve to share in his or her good times. I'm not saying that I haven't been that undeserving person at times. Nonetheless, any person who won't stick with another in his or her bad times doesn't deserve to share in his or her good times. Also, especially those who don't have as many and/or heavy burdens to bear should be helping those who does who do have many and/or heavy-enough burdens to bear.

To think about walking away from people who walk away from me is sobering, and I have to walk away from a person to whom I am somehow a burden. Right now, I'm even thinking of the horror that my aunt told me about in regards to my Granduncle Tony when he snapped at Great-Grandma: "You're a burden!" That she was a burden wasn't the case: that Pop-Pop and others were burdens because they would not help Granduncle Tony help Great-Grandma was the case.

That's probably part of what killed Granduncle Tony (z"l), too: he was the only good son who could really help Great-Grandma (z"l), and few stepped up to help him help her. After all, the two other good sons were unable to help: Granduncle Francis ("Red") had been deceased since 1985 (and he had his own issues during his lifetime), and Granduncle Jim has had to devote a significant amount of his time to Jamie (or who else could and would? Then again, Jamie could've been in a Willowbrook. He wasn't, since Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie didn't let Jamie's accidental overdose on codeine come between them and Jamie. After all, they understood that Grandaunt Annie's sister and the doctors tried to do their best when then-1.5-years-old Jamie was having seizures when his aunt was babysitting him. They, by the way, are an example of those who are bearing burdens—not Jamie himself, mind you, since Jamie is not a burden—they could've even sued or filed criminal charges against Jamie's aunt, and they decided to take the position that life happens and that those who tried to help Jamie had no idea that the codeine to which he is allergic would not help him.).

Being one of the few, if not the only one, who is bearing a burden can take a toll on the bearer in question—which is my point about part of what killed Granduncle Tony. Even as far back as 1964, he was the only one to help Great-Grandma—Pop-Pop was living in Glen Burnie with his wife and three children (one of whom was to be born in August 1965); Granduncle Red was living with his wife and two older children (with the youngest one to be born in 1967), and Granduncle Jim was stationed at Fort Meade. Only Granduncle Tony was there to help Great-Grandma especially after Great-Granddad committed suicide, and almost 50 years of being Great-Grandma's primary helper affected him to die at 68 years old of "chest pains" (as Dad related that Granduncle Tony started feeling to the point at which he needed to go to the hospital) and other issues.

Granduncle Tony, by the way, is, of course, not the only one who had to bear a burden alone—besides that Great-Grandma herself had to bear many burdens alone, others have had to bear burdens alone. Even myself, for another example—I've had to bear burdens alone or at least (at best) almost alone.

By the way, I wrote this primarily in regards to people (including family members) who have ditched me offline and online (and who would ditch me offline, as I can ascertain. After all, people online are reflections of themselves offline, including who they would be offline if they could get away with being so.). Now those people can surely know, if they didn't know, why I, for example, started that #unfollowforunfollow trend on Twitter: as I stated, any person who won't stick with another in his or her bad times doesn't deserve to share in his or her good times. Therefore, anyone in my own life who won't stick with me in my bad times doesn't deserve to share in any of times.

In addition, I want to thank my ditchers for showing me who you really are and not letting me find out later than I already did—and so much for the ones who (Jewish and gentile alike) claim to be fellow Christians and flout bearing others' burdens, since many of you (I suspect) also ditch others and will hear "I never knew you" when you cry out "Lord, Lord" to Yeshua (Jesus). I suppose that others will thank that ditchers for the same as well—and sadly, I can guarantee that some are thanking me for the same thing, and I need to do teshuvah for being a ditcher of those whom I have ditched.

By the way, please let me know if or remind me of when I have ditched you in bad times. I will try to be there to bear your burdens as best as I can from now on—after all, I do not want to adversely affect your life (including your health) in the way that others have affected mine or in the way that others (including, probably, I) affected Granduncle Tony's life and health.

Why I've Not Exactly Been In The Game For a While

1. I, so to speak, needed to let the fields fallow over for a while, anyway. Neither overplanting nor overharvesting are good.
2. I've really hardly yielded results. I was actually amazed when, e.g., Donna Foley Marby actually thanked me for the defense of her and her book "Maude". As far as I can tell, I hardly ever yield results like that. Besides, I expect what I usually yield—backlash! After a while, that "damned if you do, damned if you don't, and damned if you neither do nor don't" conundrum just brings ennui at best and an exacerbation of Depression at worst—and I have admitted that the only reason that I have not taken Great-Granddad's path is because I would not want to risk the negative effects of surviving an attempt to go down his path.
3. I've been busy with Reilly—another reason, by the way, as to why I haven't taken Great-Granddad's path.
4. I've been busy with dealing with my Depression and other matters.
5. Today, I woke up with a cold and muscle aches.

I assure you, by the way, that I'm not the only one who's in my kind of situation. People in similar situations, e.g.:

1. Need to let their fields fallow over once in a while as well.
2. Feel ennui, melancholy (or exacerbation of Depression), and/or even worse if they feel that their attempts at tikun ha'olam don't yield anything, let alone anything good—whether for themselves or, most importantly, others.
3. Sometimes have outside commitments and circumstances. 

Incidentally, the coming year is HaShanah shel HaSh'mitah b'Eretz Yisra'el.

The Seahawks, Like Moses and Jeremiah?

This reminds me of when the Golden Calf incident happened. Yet, how did the Seattle Seahawks sin? The New England Patriots cheated:

"And Moses besought יהוה his God, and said: 'יהוה, why doth Thy wrath wax hot against Thy people, that Thou hast brought forth out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, saying: For evil did He bring them forth, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth? Turn from Thy fierce wrath, and repent of this evil against Thy people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, Thy servants, to whom Thou didst swear by Thine own self, and saidst unto them: I will multiply your seed as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have spoken of will I give unto your seed, and they shall inherit it for ever.' And יהוה repented of the evil which He said He would do unto His people."

I know that יהוה can and does show that cheating, etc. is not acceptable. Right now, though, the Seahawks must be feeling like Moses as they see the Egypt-like Patriots: "'Wherefore should the Egyptians speak, saying: For evil did He bring them forth, to slay them in the mountains, and to consume them from the face of the earth?'" They must also be feeling like Jeremiah:

Right wouldest Thou be, O יהוה, were I to contend with Thee, yet will I reason with Thee: Wherefore doth the way of the wicked prosper? Wherefore are all they secure that deal very treacherously? Thou hast planted them, yea, they have taken root; they grow, yea, they bring forth fruit; Thou art near in their mouth, and far from their reins. But Thou, O יהוה, knowest me, Thou seest me, and triest my heart toward Thee; pull them out like sheep for the slaughter, and prepare them for the day of slaughter.

I'm also thinking of, "Where is their God?" I'm even thinking "Does 'Thou shalt not steal' mean anything? Does 'Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor' mean anything? Does that יהוה hates dishonest scales and measures, and other forms of lying mean anything?"

Incidentally, why on Earth did יהוה assign Julian Edelman to a team that does not respect Him, the God of Julian's fathers?

I'm Not the Only One Kvetching About Netanyahu

As if PM Netanyahu's rebuttal to MK Livni did not already reek of dictatorial language:

"Prime Minister Netanyahu is the only leader in the world openly leading the struggle against the signing of a dangerous deal that will turn Iran into a nuclear-threshold state. Tzipi Livni is mistaken and misleading Israel’s citizens. Instead of supporting the prime minister in the big process of stopping a nuclear Iran, Tzipi is busy with personal insults and small politics. In complete contrast to what she says, the legislative initiative to apply additional sanctions on Iran has not been abandoned. Ten Democrat senators announced today that they will support passing more sanctions if Iran does not abide by the required clauses for a general agreement.”

No wonder, then, that I called PM Netanyahu "Manhig Yakar"! I and others saw trouble a long time ago. Why didn't more people see trouble? For example, giving 86% of the West Bank away should've been a huge sign that Netanyahu is a haredi posing as a chiloni! He "has [even] expressed support in principle for a Palestinian state"! 

Isn't that a clue that he, like many other Haredim, believe that the current Medinat Yisra'el is a treif medina?! Also, Agudat Yisra'el, the party in control, opposes Medinat Yisra'el! 

Next, in 1905, came Reb Judah Aryeh Leib Alter's eldest son, Abraham Mordecai Alter (1866-1948), who was perhaps the most influential of all Gerer tsadikim. He was nicknamed "Imrei Emet" (Speaker of Truth). Under his leadership the Gerer court reached its height of influence, gaining a reputation of excellence throughout the Hasidic world. Imrei Emet was also among the founders ofAgudat Israel , a conservative anti-Zionist religious political party that stepped into the difficult and diverse political world of the 20th century, articulating their view of what the essentials needs were for Jewish survival in Poland.

Ding! Ding! Is a bell ringing now?! David ben-Gurion let himself be a self-hating pawn! If there is any conspiracy going on, the conspiracy is on the part of self-hating/Anti-Semitic Haredim to dismantle Medinat Yisra'el until whom they believe to be Moshiach would come!

They shall be carried to Babylon, and there shall they be, until the day that I remember them, saith the Lord.¹  And R. Zera?²  — That text¹ refers³  to the vessels of ministry.⁴  And Rab Judah? — Another text also is available:³  I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles, and by the hinds of the field, [that ye awaken not, nor stir up love,⁵  until it please]'.⁶  And R. Zera? — That⁷  implies that Israel shall not go up [all together as if surrounded] by a wall.⁸  And Rab Judah? — Another 'I adjure you'⁹  is written in Scripture. And R. Zera? — That text is required for [an exposition] like that of R. Jose son of R. Hanina who said: 'What was the purpose of those three adjurations?¹⁰  — One, that Israel shall not go up [all together as if surrounded] by a wall;⁸  the second, that whereby the Holy One, blessed be He, adjured Israel that they shall not rebel against the nations of the world; and the third is that whereby the Holy One, blessed be He, adjured the idolaters that they shall not oppress Israel too much'. And Rab Judah? — It is written in Scripture, That ye awaken not, nor stir up.¹¹  And R. Zera? — That text is required for [an exposition] like that of R. Levi who stated: 'What was the purpose of those six adjurations?¹²  — Three for the purposes just mentioned and the others, that [the prophets] shall not make known the end,¹³  that [the people] shall not¹⁴ delay¹⁵  the end,¹³  and that they shall not reveal the secret¹⁶  to the idolaters'.

By the gazelles, and by the hinds of the field.¹⁷  R. Eleazar explained: The Holy One, blessed be He, said to Israel, 'If you will keep the adjuration, well and good; but if not, I will permit your flesh [to be a prey] like [that of] the gazelles and the hinds of the field'.

As for Netanyahu, Artuz Eser surmises:

[W]ith the current poll findings[,] Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu could form a 68 member governing coalition by joining forces with Jewish Home, Shas, United Torah Judaism, Kahlon, Yishai and Yisrael Beytenu. Opposition leader Isaac Herzog would be harder pressed to form a government, having to rope in both the ultra-Orthodox and Yesh Atid to form a fragile ruling coalition of 61 seats.

This is why Amir Hetsroni wrote:

What does Israel have to offer? It is easier to find kosher meat here and there is more variety of synagogues. To young people, Israel also offers the dubious pleasure of devoting two or three years of your life to the army.

Sounds tempting? Perhaps to Netanyahu and Benett, but not in the eyes of hundreds of thousands of Israelis who desperately search their family vaults for a proof that would grant them EU passport and not long ago took part in the popular Olim LeBerlin (“ascending to Berlin”) protest that expressed a wish to immigrate to Europe. Perhaps, Israel is a case wherein what looks nice from a distance is less attractive when you take a close-up shot.

By the way, that the Haredim are drying up Israel's economy may explain the low wages, etc..

Ted Bauer, Insularity, and Industries—Including the Technology and News Industries

With dread about the electrical grid being struck and Luddite sentiment, Ted Bauer's article about the technology industry is relevant. After all, many industries indeed become like the technology industry—"insular", monopolized, hegemonic, nepotistic, and oligarchical. For example, where in the news-reporting world is one going to find a muckraker who's willing to expose many under-the-radar matters anymore? As has been noted in many different ways, many people want complacently-sensationalistic soundbites and graphics from "trusted" veteran reporters (whether or not they are actually trustworthy and willing to produce work that at least meets journalistic standards).

One example is with regard to PM Netanyahu, Congress, and the President of the United States. Very few reporters, analysts, commentators, and other news-connected figures would care to bring up, let alone report, that PM Netanyahu is actually violating Section Three of Article Two of the U.S. Constitution by addressing Congress without first having President Obama convene the House and/ore the Senator. When one commentator/analyst and one journalist (the former being Baruch Maoz and the latter being Geraldo Rivera) did bring that point up, they were sorely lambasted (Geraldo Rivera in particular and directly was lambasted. Anyone who concurred with Baruch Maoz was through whom the lambasters attempted to excoriate Pastor Maoz.).

The "report to support Netanyahu and Congress" line was expected to be toed. Never mind that the Constitution should have been brought into the reporting of PM Netanyahu's addressing Congress without being received by the President.

My Own 25th Birthday, And a Scary Realization...

Now I'm 25 years old by both Biblical and Gregorian standards. Meanwhile, I (no pun intended) am stopped dead in my tracks by a horrifying realization: I am as old as Great-Granddad Czarnecki was when the 1929 Great Depression happened. Also, I just read about the hardly-explained suicide of Madison Holleran—and all while I had been browsing to find out the age of a public figure whose age was not given on Wikipedia. One thing really can lead to another!

At that point, reading about Miss Holleran's suicide led to my reading comments about it—including the evil-hearted one from "Bc". Typing a response to him made me realize (at least more of) what happened to Great-Granddad, etc. (Incidentally—or maybe not—the day-and-date scheme was the same in 1964 as it was in 2014. By the way, "50" and "25" are multiples of "25" and "five". The numbers in it all, too. Needless to say, numbers and patterns alone should prove that there are no coincidences in life.):

That's easy for you to say. Could you go in back in time and, e.g., talk to my Great-Granddad Czarnecki:

Born on October 24, 1904, he was a pogrom survivor who had to become a Crypto Jew, who lost his father (who, by the way, was an alcoholic and a terrible husband) when he was 17 going on 18, his sister Regina when he was 20 (and she was 16. She died of cholera [sic.].), his mother when he was 31 going on 32 (after he already had a complicated relationship with her), his firstborn son, and his youngest brother (who was a Holocaust victim whose cause of death was murder due to serving in the U.S. Military and being fatally injured by a Nazi soldier. He took almost 18 years to die, by the way, since that's how botched the surgery to remove the shrapnel from his head was; and he died from a schizophrenic reaction and a coronary occlusion). He also lost other siblings, all of whom died when they were infants.

Add to that, that he lost his three right middle toes and his leg up to his knee when he worked as a lawnmower operator at an apartment complex (and because he lost his previous job in the hard-hit Sugar Notch, Pennsylvania coal mines). The job losses and limb loss either affected the onset of or exacerbated his Depression, for which the medication that he took was ineffective.

So, after 60 years, a month, a week, and a day of pain (i.e., 21,954 days of pain), he attempted suicide; and although his attempt didn't work and he changed his mind at the last minute, his death certificate reads that he died of suicide by drowning.

By the way, the Great Depression began on his 9,131st day (his 25th birthday). He also had other pain (that is, besides what I mentioned, including how his 25th birthday was marred and the Pogrom of Pogroms thus far at that time—the Holocaust—began on that day).

You tell me, then, how willing he was to consider that, e.g., "tomorrow is another to borrow the words of some one else". Your lack of critical thinking, empathy, and compassion astounds me.

What a sobering reality! By the way, let me add what I originally commented:

Sure; expectations of perfection, etc. can affect the onset of Depression and suicide affected by Depression. Frankly, though, it does seem unusual (even weird). What didn't Madison tell?

By the way, I know that this isn't about me; although I have Depression, and my father's paternal grandfather, the maternal grandfather of my father's maternal grandmother, and two maternal uncles of father's maternal grandmother all committed suicide. My father's sister attempted suicide as well, and I ended up in Sheppard Pratt for threatening suicide (and there are days where the temptation of suicide still assails me.

So, I know from experience that more than just expectations of perfection, etc. had to be in play. Incidentally, I have never seen my great-granddad's suicide note; and I figured out that my great-grandmother's maternal grandfather (who was in his 50s when he died) committed suicide because I noted that two of his six sons (and two of his seven children) committed suicide (so, mathematically, for him to not commit suicide would have been impossible.

I will add other links later [6:04 PM EST].

The links have been added [10:45 PM EST].

The Type Of Matters That I Want To Bring To the Forefront, And...

I can't bring up those matters when I'm being crushed under the weight of my own burdens. For example:

Catholic teaching prohibits the use of artificial contraception but allows the use of the so-called rhythm method, where couples avoid unwanted pregnancy by planning sex on days during the woman's menstrual cycle on which she is less likely to conceive.

Then some wondered why I was furious when a Facebook friend suggested that I "[m]arry Jesus in [my] heart." As I told him, my family suffered enough under the Roman and Byzantine Catholic Churches. Need I bring up Great-Granddad's family again, for example? Besides, I know exactly what "marry[ing] Jesus" means:

1. As if I'm not already a Christian? Fur shanda! 
2. I saw when, for instance, the SSND women at UNDM had on wedding bands to represent that they were "brides of Christ" (and I was reminded of that term when I read The Staircase recently).

I told him quite frankly:

"Marry Jesus"? What; become a nun? I'm a non-proselytizing Jewish Christian; and quite frankly, my paternal family dealt with enough from the Roman and Byzantine (e.g., Russian Orthodox) Catholic Churches for centuries—which is why my and other branches became Anusim.

Also, this matter reminded me of why people complain about the Roman Catholic Church. After all, even Acts 15 prevents menstrual sex!  Again, my own paternal family dealt with enough from the Roman and Byzantine (e.g., Russian Orthodox) Catholic Churches for centuries—and part of that included watching and hearing as the Roman Catholic Church contradicted even the B'rit Chadashah, let alone (the rest of) Tanakh.