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Thursday, December 15, 2011

Staying Silent Is Yielding To the Apostates and Legalists, So...



Since Paul openly rebuked Peter for giving up on something "pagan", I am not afraid to do the same to some others regarding Christmas (cf. Galatians 2:5). I know that if Christmas were pagan, it would not be attacked as such. Because Christmas was deliberately designed to celebrate the birth of Yeshua (Jesus), and as a redemption of and counter to the Winter Solstice, it is attacked as pagan (cf. Galatians 1:6-2:4, 5:7-12 Romans 14, Acts 15, Colossians 2:16-17, Hebrews 6:4-6). If I have to name names of those who are attacking Christmas as pagan, I will start naming names. 

If I have to lose friends and "friends", so be it. If I make enemies, good: that means that I stood up for something, sometime in my life. I'll stand up for this:

In the early years of Christianity, Easter was the main holiday; the birth of Jesus was not celebrated. In the fourth century, church officials decided to institute the birth of Jesus as a holiday. Unfortunately, the Bible does not mention date for his birth (a fact Puritans later pointed out in order to deny the legitimacy of the celebration). Although some evidence suggests that his birth may have occurred in the spring (why would shepherds be herding in the middle of winter?), Pope Julius I chose December 25. It is commonly believed that the church chose this date in an effort to adopt and absorb the traditions of the pagan Saturnalia festival. First called the Feast of the Nativity, the custom spread to Egypt by 432 and to England by the end of the sixth century. By the end of the eighth century, the celebration of Christmas had spread all the way to Scandinavia. Today, in the Greek and Russian orthodox churches, Christmas is celebrated 13 days after the 25th, which is also referred to as the Epiphany or Three Kings Day. This is the day it is believed that the three wise men finally found Jesus in the manger.

And:

Why do we have a decorated Christmas Tree? In the 7th century a monk from Crediton, Devonshire, went to Germany to teach the Word of God. He did many good works there, and spent much time in Thuringia, an area which was to become the cradle of the Christmas Decoration Industry.
Legend has it that he used the triangular shape of the Fir Tree to describe the Holy Trinity of God the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The converted people began to revere the Fir tree as God's Tree, as they had previously revered the Oak. By the 12th century it was being hung, upside-down, from ceilings at Christmastime in Central Europe, as a symbol of Christianity.
The first decorated tree was at Riga in Latvia, in 1510. In the early 16th century, Martin Luther is said to have decorated a small Christmas Tree with candles, to show his children how the stars twinkled through the dark night.

Don't you ever to my face again twist the meaning of this parsha, which is not a reference to Christmas trees:

 To whom will you liken Me, and make Me equal 
      And compare Me, that we should be alike? 
       6 They lavish gold out of the bag, 
      And weigh silver on the scales; 
      They hire a goldsmith, and he makes it a god; 
      They prostrate themselves, yes, they worship. 
       7 They bear it on the shoulder, they carry it 
      And set it in its place, and it stands; 
      From its place it shall not move. 
      Though one cries out to it, yet it cannot answer 
      Nor save him out of his trouble. 

And do not twist this, either. It is a reference to ba'alim, not Christmas trees:

 1 Hear the word which the LORD speaks to you, O house of Israel.
2 Thus says the LORD: 


      “ Do not learn the way of the Gentiles; 
      Do not be dismayed at the signs of heaven, 
      For the Gentiles are dismayed at them. 
       3 For the customs of the peoples are futile; 
      For one cuts a tree from the forest, 
      The work of the hands of the workman, with the ax. 
       4 They decorate it with silver and gold; 
      They fasten it with nails and hammers 
      So that it will not topple. 
       5 They are upright, like a palm tree, 
      And they cannot speak; 
      They must be carried, 
      Because they cannot go by themselves.
      Do not be afraid of them, 
      For they cannot do evil, 
      Nor can they do any good.” 








Wednesday, December 14, 2011

With Miracles Come Curses, Which I Should've Remembered

So I probably (unless by a miracle) failed the Math exam, and I got flack about doing the dishes today. Excuse me; but Michelle was home all day, so she could've easily done the dishes. Besides, when she was texting friends, she could've done the dishes; and all while waiting for a callback from someone. I've waited for things while doing the dishes, cleaning things, etc.. And so what if she already did a first load? She could've done a second one-- and she'd apply that standard to me if I was home all day. Besides, she has an easier time putting the dishes away.

She gets everything (or almost everything)-- the social life, the friends, the not having Cerebral Palsy, etc.. And what do I get? Nada. Lo d'var. She has people reaching out to her left and right, and I don't-- in fact, at least sometimes, I have people deliberately shunning me-- because of my Cerebral Palsy.

As if to prove my point, one of her friends just called her now and she's talking to him or her. I don't have friends call me daily like that-- and yet, my Facebook friends see my numbers on my profile. I hardly even get a text. By the way, she's whining because I'm posting "our private life" on my blog.

Grow up, Michelle; and "[w]henever you feel like criticizing anybody, just remember that [I of] all of the people in this world haven't had the privileges that you've had." And count your blessings.

So A Miracle Did Happen (See My Twitter Status.), And...

This month and my life are still going to be rough. This month alone-- forget being (as Kyle Brofslovski sings) "a lonely Jew on Christmas" (let alone a lonely Messianic Jew), even though I have family and friends surrounding me. I won't have consistent presence but for G-d, and even many nevi'im and others got lonely-- so of course, I'll get lonely with even the presence of G-d. Also, I haven't found the one-- what a lonely thought during Mo'ed Chag Mashiach and in general (especially for someone like me). And Kislev 29 (Hanukkah 4) is Great-Granddad Czarnecki's P'rushi Lu'ach yahrzeit-- he committed suicide on Kislev 29,  5725 (December 2, 1964) by P'rushi Lu'ach calculations.

And my life-- well, I've blogged about that.

I Mean, I Do Have People Praying For Me and All, But...

What big miracle's going to happen this time, huh? Maybe my Computer Forensics professor will have a calculator that I can borrow for my Statistics exam? Maybe I'll find the one? Maybe whatever other big miracle? When some small thing doesn't happen, a bigger miracle sometimes or usually happens. For example, my mom accidentally picked up my sister's bag instead of mine. So, I calculator and other stuff at home, and I can't borrow a calculator or pencil for now. As if my life couldn't get worse...

I can't drive home to get it (I have Cerebral Palsy and OCD/Anxiety/Depression, remember?). My keys are in my bag as well and my sister's asleep, so driving home to get them would be non sequitir. Do you see part of why I'm still tempted to commit suicide?

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I Wonder Why I Bother Sometimes...

Suicide looks better. Firstly, I'd be in Heaven (I'm a Christian, so I know where I'm by-grace going.), and I wouldn't have to wait for the Rapture. Secondly, Mom, Michelle, and others (including many who'd like to see me dead and/or never really cared, anyway) would be left to pick up the mess that I leave behind. Also, for what being more known in death than life is worth, I'd be more known in death than life-- I even prewrote my own obituary in case something does happen to me, though (G-d willing) I might have to go back and edit it. At least an obituary, a Facebook, a Twitter, and other updates, and other ways of communication are coverage.

Thirdly, I'm a survivor of a suicide attempt from when I was eight to ten years old. Long story short, after I foolishly erased my Pokemon game on the advice of a "friend", I threatened to stab myself-- with the knife in my hand. I chickened out and put the knife down and away from me.

Fourthly, I'm the survivor of a suicide threat-- I ended up at Sheppard Pratt for that threat, and quite a few of my dad's family don't believe what happened even though the Sheppard Pratt incident finally helped provoke the courts to believe what happened. Fifthly, as I've implied, I'm more disliked than liked for good and bad; and as I said, others would be left to pick up the mess that I leave behind. For some of them, picking up my mess would be pure punishment and judgement against them.

I could go on; but as an endnote, I also consider that children in the Third World segments of the human population have a fate better than mine (since they get, for example, plenty of reward in Heaven and not as much judgement because of what they've suffered and because of the "to whom much is given" standard-- including the age of accountability implication). Sexual abuse victims even also have a better fate than mine because some of them parallel (and sometimes even are) the children in the Third World-- they get sympathy and people who'll help them at some point and juncture, some reward in Heaven just for their suffering alone, etc..

With me; my situation's like, who the hell (including my own church) cares (or really or ultimately cares) about a 'mamzerah' Messianic Jew with Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety/Depression, and mild-enough Cerebral Palsy that she can (seemingly) get by?


I Keep Getting Visitors From Russia... Relatives?

Look, guys (and gals); if you're mishpacha, do not be afraid to contact me. Besides, I still am looking for specifically Jewish (including Messianic) and Anusi (including Messianic, but just understandably scared to admit any Jewishness):


  1. Rusznaks (Rusnaks, etc.)
  2. Fockos (Foskos, Foczkos, etc.)
  3. Novaks (Nowaks)
  4. Gajdoszes (Gaydoses, etc.)
  5. Ushinskys (Uszinskys, etc.)
  6. Huglinksys
  7. Trudniaks (Trudniaks, etc.; since one did marry a Jewish Monka)
  8. Monkas
  9. Chernetskis (Czarneckis, etc.)
  10. Morgiewiczes (Margiewiczes, etc.)
  11. Andrulewiczes (Andruleviches, etc.)
  12. Danilowiczes (Daniloviches; even ones related to Kirk Douglas-- mi estomago!)
  13. Laczinskys (Latshinksys, etc.)
  14. Hanzoks (Hanssaks, etc.)
  15. Homas (Hamas-- plural of "Hama", not the terror group which no Self-Respecting Jew would hang around)
Contact me-- I don't bite.

Monday, December 12, 2011

An Untitled Novel, Part 9

As I looked at a Reform beit knesset on my way from Reistertown Road back to Upper Park Heights, I couldn't help but wonder about the Union for Reform Judaism and eugenics. I should've brought my mom along because I had so many questions for her, including this one: "Mom, why is abortion allowed in Talmud?" Reform Judaism defends their position on abortion with Talmud.

"Talmud states, 'IF A WOMAN IS IN HARD TRAVAIL, ONE CUTS UP THE CHILD IN HER
WOMB AND BRINGS IT FORTH MEMBER BY MEMBER, BECAUSE HER LIFE COMES
BEFORE THAT OF IT. BUT IF THE GREATER PART HAS PROCEEDED FORTH,
ONE MAY NOT TOUCH IT, FOR ONE MAY NOT SET ASIDE ONE PERSON'S LIFE FOR
THAT OF ANOTHER.' Haven't you been studying 'Ohalot'?"

I went back to my hotel room at the Red Carpet Inn that night and reexamined the URJ documents. I guessed that their argument would be that the case of a child having a genetic disease could so unbearable to the mother that she "is in hard travail", thus "her life comes" first. I then understood why my mom once said that what seems to contradict Torah in Talmud is just a sh'eilah."


I was reminded of when she literally threw Talmud at me for me to catch and quoted, "Withhold not correction from the child; for though thou beat him with the rod, he will not die. Thou beatest him with the rod, and wilt deliver his soul from the nether-world." She then explained, "In your case, the rod is the book. As the old saying goes, 'Throw the book at him.'"


I asked her to further explain her sh'eliah comment, meanwhile. "We are given sh'eliot, such as Ohalot 7:6, to see whether or not we will follow the mitzvot in Tanakh. The sh'eliot are paradoxical only in the sense that they are mitzvot until they are realized as sh'eliot which Torah and rachamim override. Actually obeying anything that is a purposeful violation of Torah means that we have failed a sh'eliah."


Wishing my mom "L'Laila tov", I hung up the phone and recited the "Bedtime Shema". I had a long day ahead of me.