(Some Of) My Big Moments In 2013 (Including at the End)

This is not an exhaustive list, but it's way more than what I mentioned in the video:

1. Being called Geraldo Rivera's "favorite tweeter"
2. Establishing that I have kohen and Levi heritage through the Gajdoszes, Dudays, Foczkos, Rusznaks, and Levais.
3. My ITB Pump surgery (and I envy Geraldo—the lucky guy got well over a total of 100 Facebook and Twitter "likes", well wishes, etc. regarding his foot surgery. I got no more than 52 "likes" at a time—actually, that was my uncle who posted about me and the ITB Pump surgery. Geraldo's probably going to hate me for that, and I may not be his favorite tweeter anymore; but, c'mon—I was under anesthesia on both July 17th and July 18th. Plus, I was in Johns Hopkins until July 22nd, and then Mount Washington Pediatric Hospital until August 2nd. Furthermore, they had to give me caffeine and have me drink coffee to prevent further caffeine withdrawal and headaches. All I got was a few visits, comic books back from my dad, and a few other things).
4. My granddad passing.
5. My dad disowning me—but at least I got the atDNA test from him before he did.
6. Great-Granduncle Andy's passing—that's huge, given that my generation of Fosko Rusnaks is second in line to carry to torch (Dad's is the first.).
7. The first year that I did not attend the DeBoy Family Reunion (I was recovering from ITB Pump Surgery).
8. Almost (almost!) graduating college (One more paper to revise and turn in!).
9. Having major people follow me on Twitter
10. Figuring out that I'm related to Thomas Andrew, Michael Andrews, and Kirk Douglas (By the way, some of 2012 is going to have overlapped into 2013.).
11. Getting a resume written (Well, my friend wrote it for me. I still owe him a handmade tallit, even if I don't ultimately use the resume that he wrote.).
12. Being a formal סטודנטית ללשון העברית—and getting an "A" in הכיתה. (Of course, I don't why I thought "הרבה" was "class" as I was typing this.).
13. Turning 23 on January 23 (Ok, I really turned 23 on January 12, 1990; since that was טבת 26, 5773. יהוה, ברוך הוא, goes by the lunar Hebrew year. In Gregorian terms, I did turn 23 on the 23rd of January.).
14. Getting bullied by and watching vengeance against Krystal Keith and her dad.
15. Beginning to write my family-history memoir.
16. My aunt attempting suicide (I sat שבע for her for an hour days before—that was a big deal, and I didn't know that that's why she moved without telling me.).

By the way, my mom feels that 2014 is going to be my year...we'll see, Mom.

"The Night Before Christmas" and Reflections on Years Past

I was going to have to do this sometime. As I said, I apologize for getting teary eyed. Honestly to God, one of the few good memories that I can take away from having to deal with Dad and his family (meaning the family that has mistreated me, not the family that actually has some decency) is when Pop-Pop (whose soul is hopefully at peace, despite how he mistreated me and others) would read "The Night Before Christmas", since he wasn't really keen on the religious part (He was an Anusi Ashkenazi, after all, and went through the motions.). No wonder, then, that he read "The Night Before Christmas" with such fervor and nary, if at all, mentioned or read the Bible.

Every Christmas Eve that he could (including the Christmas Eves that my sister and I were there), he would read "The Night Before Christmas". Whenever "and" came up (e.g., "And Mamma in her kerchief and I in my cap"), the grandchildren (at least the under-18-years-of-age ones) would pass a gift around, and (pun intended) whoever got the gift on the last "and" ("and to all a good night") would open the gift—and I remember that Michelle got it one year, for example.

See, Dad; I didn't miss out on the life of a (not-at-all) "great man". In fact, as I said (or, as he would say, "like I said"),  one of the few good memories that I can take away from having to deal with you and your family who have mistreated me is when Pop-Pop (whose soul, again, is hopefully at peace, despite how he mistreated me and others) would read "The Night Before Christmas".

I took away from Pop-Pop's life what I needed to take away—and in conclusion, as Pop-Pop would read, "Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night". Enjoy Christmas without your real daughters—after all, Erica and Danielle are exactly who you and Pop-Pop wanted as daughters and granddaughters, and that is no compliment to you and them.

By the way, today is Great-Great-Granddad Julian's professed birthdate—December 24th. Had he lived, he'd've apparently been anywhere from 124 years old (since great-Great-Grandma gave 1879 on his death certificate) to 128 years old (if he was born in 1875, as he seems to have been—since, after all, "Julian Laczinsky" was and "Julius Charnetski" was killed at 46 years of age on September 11, 1922).

The Gajdosz Coat of Arms and Explanation

We chose our name deliberately, I realize. "Gajdosz" being a form of "Gaydosh" or "bagpipe", and bagpipes (at least at the end) look very similar to shofarot, we deliberately chose it and kept the "sz" once we escaped to Slovakian Hungary from Polish Russia. Also, Great-Granddad would brag about us being "Russian", and his mother was from an Uszinsky family as well.

"Gajdos Name Meaning Hungarian: nickname for a ribald person, from gajdolni ‘to sing in a raucous or drunken way’ (from Slavic gajda ‘bagpipe’). In some cases it may be an occupational name for a player of pipes or bagpipes.Polish and Slovak (Gajdoš): from a derivative of Gajda." Ancestry.com, "Gajdos"). Ours was never accented and we Americanized it to "Gaydosh" sometimes. We also never accented the "s", and Hungarian "sz" is just "s". On the other hand, "š" or "s" is "sh". In Polish, "sz" is "sh". 

We were very aware of our Poliyshn Yidn roots, and Dad doesn't like that. In fact, he nastily told Great-Granddad (as he told us that he told Great-Granddad), "The only reason that you say that we're Russian is because you work for the Russian Church." It was actually a Slovakian-American Catholic church, and the Rusnaks were Levi'im Anusim as well. So, Dad darned well (in his mind, damned well) knows that we're Jews—and I think that's also part of why we're estranged again—not just because I confronted him on Pop-Pop Czarnecki's obituary, but also because he was waiting to cut me off once I found out the truth and asked him about it. So, as soon as I confronted him about the obituary, he found his loophole and got as nasty and abusive with me as possible.
I had also, by the way, spoken out about the obituary and said how they conveniently skipped over Pop-Pop's Jewish heritage—and maybe that's part of why Great-Granddad Gaydos didn't like Pop-Pop (long story), as I found out—he could probably tell that Pop-Pop was a self loather.We were very aware of our Poliyshn Yidn roots, and Dad doesn't like that. In fact, he nastily told Great-Granddad (as he told us that he told Great-Granddad), "The only reason that you say that we're Russian is because you work for the Russian Church." It was actually a Slovakian-American Catholic church, and the Rusnaks were Levi'im Anusim as well. So, Dad darned well (in his mind, damned well) knows that we're Jews—and I think that's also part of why we're estranged again—not just because I confronted him on Pop-Pop Czarnecki's obituary, but also because he was waiting to cut me off once I found out the truth and asked him about it. So, as soon as I confronted him about the obituary, he found his loophole and got as nasty and abusive with me as possible.I had also, by the way, spoken out about the obituary and said how they conveniently skipped over Pop-Pop's Jewish heritage—and maybe that's part of why Great-Granddad Gaydos didn't like Pop-Pop (long story), as I found out—he could probably tell that Pop-Pop was a self loather.By the way, the long story, as Aunt Mary recalled it to me: Great-Granddad Gaydos came over for dinner and ate quietly. When he ate, he looked up and declared, "Okay; I'm ready to go now." He clearly had no time for Jack Czarnecki.

Update: Then there's that other thing about shepherds playing bagpipes and the kohenim being ro'im l'Yisra'el.

I Stand By It, Whoever You Are In Silver Spring...

I'd also stand by it again. As I said, shiva is reversible while the person's alive and what Aunt Mary (maybe you? Or, if you're Kevin Miskell, your mom about whom you're conveniently holding information back?) did was something for which sitting shiva was quite appropriate (especially now that we're getting limited, if really any, information about her). By the way, the name has not been "Mary Jo" for a long time. It's "Mary" (nice try, though; and anyone who loves and respects Aunt Mary would have taken the time to know that!).

    

Silver Spring, Maryland arrived from google.com on "The Nicole Factor: family" by searching for mary jo czarnecki miskell.

00:26:57 -- 1 hour 33 mins ago

And Liz Was Right....

Pop-Pop was no longer alive within five years. While I can say only "Baruch Dayan Ha'Emet v'Melech Ha'Olam", I will certainly never pretend or believe that Pop-Pop was a great man. Also, the best that one can do for the dead is speak the truth about them. After all, and as my mom recalled to me:

Matthew 8:18-22
The Cost of Discipleship

New King James Version (NKJV)

18 And when Jesus saw great multitudes about Him, He gave a command to depart to the other side.19 Then a certain scribe came and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.”
20 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”
21 Then another of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”
22 But Jesus said to him, “Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

I don't know where he is, but I do know that there are fools who are deceived into thinking that Jack Czarnecki was a great man. Even if he turned around at his final moments, that does not make him to have been a great man. I am also quite sure that many of the dead who will be at Pop-Pop's funeral will not want me there, so I would not mind if I am even disinvited.

Apparently, though, Dad wants me and my sister there. I can guarantee you that, nonetheless, his wife and stepdaughters, his nephew Greg, and his cousin Janet—for example—will not want me there. In fact, I'd be honored if they would not want me there. They are my enemies, not my brothers and sisters. While Scripture states that I ought not rebuke fools—for they will hate me more if I do so—and that I ought to love my enemies, it does say:

Matthew 5:22

But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

It also says to "judge righteously" (Proverbs 31:9)—and without rehashing the discussion, I will remind you that it never says to not judge; it just says not to judge hypocritically. Also, I am angry at Greg and Janet—among others—with cause. Firstly, they are fooled into thinking that the man who committed second-degree murder against his mother with murder-malice intent was a great man. Secondly (as I have discussed before), Janet was absolutely okay with Great-Grandma's vile actions against Vilmosz Rusznak; and as far as I know, even Pop-Pop would not have been that vile—certainly, his parents were not. After all, Great-Granddad Czarnecki's families stopped talking to us when we became Anusim (except for the deed change regarding the farm in the 1960s), and the same certainly would have gone for Great-Grandma Czarnecki's families—in fact, one family member had a daughter by the name of Jutte Jurkovitsova within the Turczocz, Hungary Jewish community; so she wasn't looking to become an Anusit or Messianic Jew anytime soon. So, they were not given the opportunity to help, anyway; and they would have if they could have. Thirdly (and I'm being generous by not bringing up specifics), I know that Greg has some very-Pop-Pop-like sins for which he still needs to repent.

As I stated, with Greg and Janet among many of the dead being at Pop-Pop's funeral and probably not wanting me there, I would not mind if I am even disinvited. After all, I have no time for council among the wicked. "Depart from me, you evildoers, [f]or I will keep the commandments of my God!" (Psalm 119:115)

Whether Jack Czarnecki is merely physically dead or dead altogether, only God (B"D"E) knows—he apparently died peacefully and very quickly, even within five second of being administered morphine and in his sleep. Scripture does say, "When the righteous turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, he shall die because of it. But when the wicked turns from his wickedness and does what is lawful and right, he shall live because of it." (Ezekiel 33:18-19) So, he could have been made right with his Maker. In either case, though, "let the dead bury their own dead" and may I be disinvited from the funeral if—God forbid—I would have to have council among them. "I have hated the assembly of evildoers, [a]nd will not sit with the wicked." (Psalm 26:5) After all, Jesus warned, "“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.  And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." (Luke 14:26-27)

In Case (And I Won't Be Surprised If) Wikipedia Deletes This Section...

Czarniecki

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia...

Among Non-Nobility Families[edit]

According to Ancestry.com, "Czarniecki"^[1] is a "variant of Czarnecki". "Czarnecki" is "Polish and Jewish (from Poland)[, and a] habitational name for someone from a place called Czarnca in Kielce voivodeship, or any of the various places called Czarnocin or Czarnia, all named with Polish czarny ‘black’."^[2] One such "czarny"-named place is the Czarna Hancza in Suwalki.

In fact, a Jewish Czernecki family from and with ancestral roots in the Suwałki region even tried to obscure their ties to the region by claiming relations to none other than the Czarniecki noble family. That Czernecki family happened to be none other than the Czernecki family of Lipsk, Poland (then a part of the Russian Empire) and, later, Northeastern Pennsylvania.

The family patriarch, Julian Jan Feliks Czernecki, was born to a Czernecki and a Daniłowiczówna. On his death certificate, his mother's name was given as "Katarzyna", which was probably an attempt to make his mother look related to Aleksandra Katarzyna Czarniecka, a daughter of Stefan Czarniecki. Conveniently, his wife was Alexandria Alice Andrulewicz (supposedly néeAleksjondria Alicja Andrulewiczówna, and a relation of Teddy Andrulewicz), who also gave her mother's name as "Katarzyna" (She gave the supposed names of her parents to her attendant, her daughter Alexandria Alice Czarnecki, at the time of her dying.^[3]). Incidentally, Alexandria was also a relation to his mother (to whom she was not talking at the time of her immigration^[4] and would not have otherwise listed as a relation, since she and Julian had become Anusim, and—unless "Alexandria Alice" was taken as a baptismal name—the name "Alexandria Alice" occurs in the Daniłowicz family—e.g., with Alexandra Alice Danilowicz (1888-1972) in Northumberland County—and the Czernecki family^[5][6] separately from the Andrulewiczes.).

The supposed given birth names of Julian and Aleksjondria are perhaps questionable, since both became Anusim during the pogroms and had their firstborn (and at the time, only) child baptized as "Antoni Jan". They themselves may have taken baptismal names. Both—or maybe just Alexandria—also gave both sets of their parents the names "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" in an attempt to obscure their Jewish identities (although Alexandria attempted to Americanize the given names in her case). Both even used several variants of "Czarnecki" or homophones thereof, ranging from "Zernetzky" (on his 1904 Ellis Island record^[7], on which he listed himself as "Lithuanian") to "Czarniecki" (on, besides his death certificate, his naturalization papers—on which he also lied about his children's birthdates. For example, Alexandria was born on September 28, 1910 instead of June 11, 1910^[8]; and Stanisław was born on November 11, 1911 instead of November 26, 1910^[9]).

The Czernecki family changed their name to "Czarniecki" and, later, "Czarnecki" (despite their continual usages of variants and homophones) and attempted to remain and live as Anusim in Sugar Notch, Pennsylvania. They then passed down the legend that they were of szlachta descent and related to Stefan Czarniecki. One of Antoni Jan (later, Anthony John, Sr.)'s sons, John Czarnecki, would continue to pass down the legend. John later changed his story to something along the lines of "If we had any Jewish blood, I don't know about it." John, meanwhile, was one of the threeIRS Agents who served tax papers to Richard Nixon's via then-President Nixon's attorneys in 1973. He perhaps continued the Czernecki family legend to hide his Jewish identity from the likes of then-President Nixon, who was known for Anti Semitism. He also hid for years that he had served tax papers to now-deceased Former President Nixon, calling the information "sensitive" (although Former President Nixon died in 1994, and the "sensitive" label expired in 1990).

1. Jump up^ http://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?te=5&surname=czarniecki
2. Jump up^ http://www.ancestry.com/name-origin?te=5&surname=czarnecki
3. Jump up^ http://trees.ancestry.com/tree/1509430/person/-1289957758/mediax/60e29899-336a-445c-beaa-843f4657666d?pg=32768&pgpl=pid
4. Jump up^ http://interactive.ancestry.com/7488/NYT715_1103-0411/4032541660?backurl=http%3a%2f%2fsearch.ancestry.com%2fcgi-bin%2fsse.dll%3fdb%3dnypl%26h%3d4032541660%26ti%3d0%26indiv%3dtry%26gss%3dpt%26ssrc%3dpt_t1509430_p-1289957758_kpidz0q3d-1289957758z0q26pgz0q3d32768z0q26pgplz0q3dpid&ssrc=pt_t1509430_p-1289957758_kpidz0q3d-1289957758z0q26pgz0q3d32768z0q26pgplz0q3dpid&backlabel=ReturnRecord
5. Jump up^ http://search.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/sse.dll?db=1910USCenIndex&h=102272032&indiv=try&o_vc=Record:OtherRecord&rhSource=6061
6. Jump up^ http://search.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/sse.dll?db=1920usfedcen&h=88676396&indiv=try&o_vc=Record:OtherRecord&rhSource=7884
7. Jump up^ http://interactive.ancestry.com/7488/NYT715_511-0652/4038289249?backurl=http%3a%2f%2fsearch.ancestry.com%2fcgi-bin%2fsse.dll%3fdb%3dnypl%26h%3d4038289249%26indiv%3dtry%26o_vc%3dRecord%253aOtherRecord%26tid%3d1509430%26tpid%3d-1381717365%26rhSource%3d7884&ssrc=&backlabel=ReturnRecord
8. Jump up^ http://search.ancestry.com/cgi-bin/sse.dll?db=ssdi&h=16001876&ti=0&indiv=try&gss=pt&ssrc=pt_t1509430_p-1276855205_kpidz0q3d-1276855205z0q26pgz0q3d32768z0q26pgplz0q3dpid
9. Jump up^ http://trees.ancestry.com/tree/1509430/person/-1276891698/mediax/a044763b-db7c-49a9-a684-3ce3c5371c0f?pg=32768&pgpl=pid

I've Just Been Busy...

For example, I got an over-15-page paper done yesterday. I also have to finish the first part of my second research paper over the next two days. After that, I have a Hebrew oral exam for which to study. I also have a yahrzeit to observe (To observe it is not exactly conducive while Mom is playing Christmas music.).

The yahrzeit is for Great-Granddad Czarnecki. On this day, Kislev 27, he committed suicide. He was a troubled man, and hurt others; and he was definitely a candle in the wind—lights can be threatened with extinguishment, and spark up and burn others to try to stay burning.

He also came from a troubled family for sure. For example, Michael Andrews—handsome and talented, but clearly into an inappropriate lifestyle. As for Thomas Andrew, he died from a "long illness"—I suspect AIDS—and he had that awful Washleski cousin who—and it just hit me—used "Tufty" to promote Jack Washleski (and yes, I changed that Wikipedia entry. Get over yourself, Mr. Washleski. Your Jack Washleski could've had his own page if you wanted to talk about your cousin. And if what you say is true, that your uncle loved his wife's nephew more than his own children is just sad—and it maybe explains your cousin Thomas, but how you forget him! And how you deleted the information about William, which I had to add back into the entry! Was William's service nothing to you?).

The Andrulewiczes by themselves were clearly troubled, and this to say nothing of the Danilowiczes (Kirk, Michael, and Mia, anybody?) and the Czerneckis.

By the way, Pop-Pop, you are an Andrulewicz. You are your dad's son. Your brother, with all due respect, is wrong when he says that you look more like a Trudnak—you look like both of your parents—you are almost a spitting image of your cousin Thomas, and don't you forget it.

"If we have Jewish blood..."—well, I do know about it, and I'm proud of it. That you aren't is a shame. That your dad committed suicide in of itself is a shame without adding that he committed suicide during HaHag Hanukkah.

And that I couldn't know how God blessed the nations even through our troubled family is a shame. 

Remembering When, Part Ten

I have been quite busy and unable to write the memoir for some time—and now when I write, I am looking back on what I have previously written. Part of what I wanted to include in this next part is a Yad Vashem Page of Testimony for my Great-Granduncle Bernie, and that is part of what I was doing in the past couple of days—that is, submitting a form for him. Great-Granduncle Bernie's story heavily factors in his brother Anthony's and in-law-sister Mary's story—in fact, it's probably part of why Great-Granddad committed suicide.

As I wrote, Great-Grandma was not treated well. As I also wrote, the disabled were also not treated well—and Great-Granduncle Bernie certainly was not. In fact, I should have scanned in that stupid letter from the Department of Veterans' Affairs—hello, DVA—with all due respect, I am Great-Granduncle Bernie's "next of kin"!

As you have figured out by now, Great-Granduncle Bernie was a disabled and disrespected veteran—and two of his primary disrespecters gave Pop-Pop an idea for what to do to Great-Grandma. Ironically enough (or perhaps not so ironically), one of his disrespecters was a fellow Jewish war veteran—and none other than Staff Sergeant Joseph Paschal Czarnecki, Sr. (and I am not sorry, Charmaine and Courtney—I am not skating around that fact for your sakes. As I have stated, I will certainly talk about your dad and granddad since I talked about your uncle and granduncle Tony—and if you did not get the memo by now, let me remind you that I did not skate around any facts for your cousin Greg's maternal side, either.).

The other of the two aforementioned primary disrespecter was duty shirker John Felix Czarnecki (By the way, can you guess for whom Pop-Pop got his name—and even became like? In this case, a name does mean something in terms of character.). At least to his credit, however, Great-Granduncle John (who was born in 1913 and could have easily served during World War Two) shirked his duty to do so—at least he did not sign up and tarnish any service by what he did to his brother Bernie.

"'It's a shame what they did to Bernie.'" Granduncle Tony recalled hearing this at Great-Granduncle Bernie's funeral—and darned right that it's a shame. The self-loathing Jewish veteran and his self-loathing brother decided to take advantage of a Holocaust victim—namely, their fellow veteran Private First Class Bernard S. "Bernie" Czarnecki. How Great-Granddad could live with this is part of why I stated that he probably factored it into his suicide—after all, his youngster brother died on July 16, 1963; and he died on December 2, 1964 (almost a year and a quarter of a year after his brother succumbed to his Nazi-inflicted wounds).

Great-Granduncle Bernie signed up in Kingston, Pennsylvania on February 17, 1941 to serve in the 111th Infantry Division Medical Corps of the United States Army, having previously signed up on December 12, 1940. While Great-Granduncle Bernie was in combat, a Nazi bastard fired off some shrapnel that went into his head (whether the Nazi bastard directly or indirectly murdered Great-Granduncle Bernie, I do not know. All I know is the obvious—that it sure was not friendly fire, and that whoever murdered Great-Granduncle Bernie was a Nazi whether he was officially a Nazi, an Italian Nazi collaborator, or another European who collaborated with the Nazis.).

An operation to remove the shrapnel from Great-Granduncle Bernie's head failed—and that was the beginning of the end for Great-Granduncle Bernie.Great-Granduncle Bernie was confined to the Veterans' Home and Hospital and Lebanon, Pennsylvania for the rest of his life—from his discharge on December 12, 1945 to when he finally succumbed to his Nazi-inflicted wounds. He could never marry and have children, and was very childlike himself—he even would, for example, buy hot dogs for Granduncle Tony and his other nephews (and his nieces) if Great-Grandma said, "No." (It was basically, "If Mom says 'No.', ask Uncle Bernie."—and children will be children, and at least "Uncle Bernie" was not one of those gone-deranged mentally-disabled veterans.).

His widowed sister, Alexandria Alice Czarnecki Dombroski, took care of him by, for instance, setting up a Social Security account for him—and she would get the benefits from the Social Security account when he died. After all, she was a widowed mother and had already taken care of everyone else in her life—she was now stepping up to take care of Great-Granduncle Bernie (once again; as she had helped her mother do so when Julian Czarnecki died—when Bernie was only two years of age—, and as she had done when her mother died on April 6, 1936—when Bernie was only 16 years of age).

Great-Granduncles John and Joe cajoled Great-Granduncle Bernie into signing away the account from their sister Alice, and the benefits went to them when he died. Again, "'It's a shame what they did to Bernie.'" It's also a shame what they did to Alice.

Honestly, nobody should have been surprised that Great-Granddad Czarnecki would commit suicide after that—living with what "Johnkie" and "Suzy" did to "Bernie" would have alone driven someone to commit suicide, and that Great-Grandaunt Alice was not the one who committed suicide is amazing. After all, how could one live in a callous world in which Jews loathed themselves, took advantage of a Jewish war veteran and Holocaust victim, and left widows and left-alone mothers who had already taken care of so many people bereft?

That Whole Numbers Game (Hey; Today Is the Seventh Day, By the Way!)...

: My number is 7, so here's 7 facts about me:

1. I am related to Kirk Douglas somehow (He was a Danilovich. I got asked once if I am related to Kirk Douglas. I said that I'm not. I was wrong, and he even looks like Pop-Pop—he has the "Czarnecki [really, Danilowicz] chin".). I don't know exactly how we're related. I'm not exactly proud of that, by the way—being related to the man who raped Natalie Wood does not do me or my family good, for example.
2. I am part of at least three unique Ashkenazi families: The Foczkos, the Trudnyaks, and the Andrulewiczes (and I'm related to Teddy Andrulewicz and crossdresser Michael Androlewicz—no; I'm not kidding! By the way, when I Googled to double check, I found a Michael Androlewicz of whom to be proud). I say "unique" because our surnames are unique. We made them up and/or were required to take them around the times that we were required to have surnames.
3. I've pissed off a lot of people—some for good reasons, some for bad reasons. I can't say that (even when I'm hurt) I'm not proud (or at least ultimately proud) of pissing off people for good reasons.
4. I do have Sephardic heritage (Dad has Iberian Peninsula atDNA. How else can he explain that? Also, there was a lot of Sephardi minhag practiced in my Ashkenazi family.).
5. I am of kohenet and Levi descent—I still don't know about the Lazars. I do know that "Duday" or "Dudaj" means "horn"; so I don't question that Rosalia Dudayova Nagyova was a kohenet.
6. I am not keen on assimilation. I was Googling an "Israel Androlewicz" after I saw his name in a Google search, and this is one of the results with which I came up: "A Winnebago with a little car in tow." Nice, Hank (Not!). Forgive my language, and the self-hating smart*** is reading a "progressive" website (Look for your name on Masada2000's SHIT List, Hank.). This is one example of why—even if I have to wait to do so for the rest of my life or until Yeshua returns—I am marrying a fellow Messianic Jew and making aliyah as soon as possible.
7. I am still struggling with TrP pain in my lower back—it flares up from time to time.

By the way, you don't have play the numbers game if you don't want to do so; but ask me if you want a number (and mine if you're a Messianic Jew—especially a Levi or a kohen—but not if you're one of those meshuga "Hebrew roots", "Torah keepers", "Sacred Name", or "KJV only" types). 

Status Update For November 11, 2013 at 2:51:24 AM

I still found no baptism record for Ilona Lazarova Hanzokova; but I did find some for (I think) some cousins of hers. It looks like she became an Anusit later on—and after some family had already become Anusim (just like with the Foczkos—we didn't join Anusi relatives until 50 years or more after they had become Anusim. The Foczkos had gone to Gelnica and Kosjov first. Then we came into Zlata Idka. As far as the Lazars, we were either already in Zlata Idka or came there from another city in Moldava nad Bodvou—since Ilona doesn't have a baptism record, I can't tell you. Apparently, all of them but for Ilona and her family became Anusim in the 1760s-1810s. There were some open Jews in Zlata Idka, and there are even Jewish graves there; but I can't tell you whether they're Lazar graves or not.).

As much as anyone wants to try to dispute (and as much as the Devil wants to whisper doubts) that we're bnei-Anusim, we're bnei-Anusim (and some of us are still Anusim, clearly. Feel free to do the searches yourself, by the way, in case you're doubting me:

1) Lazars in Moldava nad Bodvou

2) Foczkos in Continental Europe

3) Fockos in Continental Europe

You can uncheck "Match exactly" in case you want to look for mispelled, misindexed, etc. records, too.

As usual, keep praying for me and...

.ל'לילה ושבוע טוב ומבורך תכתבו

Also, please vote and share in the poll for my Poli 301 project if you can—I need 25 votes to begin examining and analyzing data, and 3,000 votes for an acceptable research sample. By the way, 25*120 = 3,000; so if the minimum number of voters vote and share the poll (whether directly sharing or indirectly sharing) the poll with 120 people (e.g., "indirectly sharing" being that a friend of a mutual friend shared the poll with his friends; "directly sharing" being that you posted the poll to your Facebook wall, RTed it, or shared it on Sodahead), I could get 3,000 votes. Thanks.

I Need An Honest Answer Here...

Public OpinionPoll Results

I know [that he cares for me], and I'm not sure if we even 
share many interests, for example.

I'm not saying that to be mean. Even with the last two guys 
I dated (and both were bad apples), I almost had few to no things in common 
with them. Compatibility is important in my considering of a good guy. And I'm 
a divorce statistic waiting to happen if I get with the wrong guy—and I did 
that twice. I didn't marry the guys, granted, but I thought that I would.

And just imagine if I had married either one of them!...They 
were [bad, indeed].

I had to call the police on both… Both for harassment. And, as 
I figured out later, one had raped his previous girlfriend[s] (He had claimed that 
he had raped her.). The first almost hit me after we broke up…I was lucky that I was never 
physically hurt by the other one…I know [that this guy would never abuse me], and 
I'm not willing to get into another relationship unless it's with whom I know 
and am sure is the one…So, it isn't you. It's me; and I don't mean that as a 
cliche….I mean...consider this: my dad and both of his born siblings have all 
divorced and/or remarried. Same with my mom and all but two of her born 
siblings (two were not born), and my Green-Carroll great-great-grandma divorced. 
So did two Trudniak great-granduncles [Frank and Edward, and with Edward being 
divorced three times]. And I've been in two bad relationships.

And I've had to turn you and three other guys down in the 
past couple of years (including [a mutual friend]). So, I am having to be 
careful. In fact, by turning you down, I am (as I did with the other three) saving 
you heartbreak and/or a whole lot of other issues. My dad's family will be 
enough of an issue, by the way. Also add in that I have CP and a baclofen pump, 
Depression, OCD/Anxiety, ADD, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome…. And trust me when 
I say that you will thank me for turning you down. That girl [who he likes] is 
way more in your league than I am. And I mean that in a good way.

[See my blog and my Ancestry.com family tree if you want an idea of my dad's family being a issue in of themselves, by the way. You will find them at my About.me page.]

Why I Haven't Been Writing the Memoir For the Past Few Days

I have been going through a lot (as some have read in the past, and as I see that a Ms. Sandubrae tries to use against me—you are not funny; you are not cool, and you are proving to be the "snotty" person that L. Kay and one of your high-school classmates stated that you are, Mrs. Sandubrae. I continue to record visits of my blog from you and/or your followers who are trying to intimidate me. You are also only adding to the through the Hell which I'm going), and that includes being on the verge of suicide, having a cold (My immune system finally wore down—and partly due to what trouble you have caused me, Mrs. Sandubrae; and remember that my threat of prosecution is not idle. Where in the law can one read that public figures may harass and intimidate other public figures as you and your followers have done to me? Get a life and wise up, Mrs. Sandubrae, or you may well be prosecuted.).

Meanwhile, I'm figuring that I'm going to need some life-changing event (as if—and since—having an ITB Pump and being on the verge of suicide several times, for example, apparently—and evidently—doesn't count) in order for those who haven't been supporting me and praying for me to even notice what's going on my life. The event includes the choices of, but is not limited to, getting into my final relationship (I'm not getting into another relationship unless the relationship is with whom I know and am sure is the one.), having a baby (which is not going to happen until after I'm married, if I ever am able to marry), having a grandchild (like lucky Geraldo Rivera did—497 likes and 56 comments in about an hour, and six retweets with 21 favorites and 12 comments in about an hour [at last count]—and which will not happen for me anytime soon unless I adopt a kid who is expecting and/or has kids of his or her own shortly after he or she is adopted), and becoming famous (That's how I'll really get people to notice and give a **** about anything that I say, do, or go through at all.). 

By the way, as much as I forgive people, I certainly think that when bad comes to them for what they've done to me and/or others serves them rightly. For example, Liz's prophecy came true, and I was humbled (and served rightly) when it came true—and while Pop-Pop is not dead, he is certainly not alive—he's one of the deadest living men of whom I have ever heard, and he is served rightly for what he's done to his mother (z"l), his daughter, and others.

Liz told Aunt Mary (Pop-Pop's only daughter) that Pop-Pop wouldn't be alive within five years of January-February 2007—and he has pneumonia and other issues for which he is hospitalized. Indeed, "Let God be true and every man a liar"—and it frankly serves Jack Czarnecki rightly. How dare he commit second-degree murder with murder-malice intent and Social Security fraud! And how dare he affect his daughter—his only daughter!—to be driven to a suicide attempt!

Remembering When, Part Nine

Sometimes, I get too lazy to write because of—among other issues—post-baclofen-pump-surgery muscle pain (as I have discussed as part of the reason for my delay in finishing this memoir) and schoolwork (At this point, as I have been told, I will be the first of Grandma's and Pop-Pop's grandchildren to graduate from college—and I expect, or at least hope, to graduate on December 20, 2013.). So, let me take one more detour. However, let me detour on the way back to Great-Granddad Czarnecki's and Great-Grandma Czarnecki's story by giving more background about it—and while some of this background giving maybe be background regiving, it will nonetheless help you to understand the next part of the story.

 I honestly grew up even being handed that we were related to Stefan Czarniecki and that Great-Grandma Czarnecki was Lithuanian (she was a the daughter of Polish-Slovakian-Hungarian Anusim Mihaly Trudnyak [the son of Mihaly Trudnyak, Sr. and Maria Nagyova Trudnyakova] and Anna Munkova Trudnyakova [the daughter of Samuel and Rosalia Korschova Munka])! I had no clue what the real story was! I was told that Great-Granddad 

1. Came here alone (and not when he was two and escaping the pogroms as an Anusi with his Anusit mother, part of the Andrulevicus [Andrulewicz, etc.] and Morgovich [Morgiewicz, etc.] families. They came here to join his dad, who had already come here once illegally. Of course, they lived as Anusim to avoid Anti Semitism in America; and Northeastern Pennsylvania was somehow the place to do so. Of course, his cousin Jacob Androlowicz did identify as a Jewish war veteran, and he was buried in a Catholic cemetery—the Andrulevicuses were a mix of open Jews and Anusim, Non-Messianic and Messianic Jews.).
2. Married Mary Trudnak (who was actually named for her grandmother—as my aunt Mary was for her grandmothers—and not for Mary the mother of Jesus! Long story short, we have Sephardic heritage concerned somewhere; or at least we adopted a mix of Ashkenazi and Sephardi minhagim—and Grandma did name "Mary Joan" for her mother [Mary Rusnak Gaydos, whose paternal grandma was Marysia Novakova Rusznakova] and herself [Joan Gaydos Czarnecki]—and we used "Maria" and "Marysia" as variants of "Maryam". In fact, Aunt Mary was honestly the first Mary on the Czernecki/Chernetski/Czarnecki side.].)
3. Served in Korea (which he never did or could).
4. Died of Black Lung (instead of his newspaper-worthy suicide).

He did work in the coal mines, to be fair, but the Black Lung wasn't what killed him. Of course, I didn't question or research until I was much older. The Czernecki side is the side on which I'm focusing on for the memoir, meanwhile—and I've gotten relatives angry over finding all this out and talking about this, but (as Great-Grandma told Aunt Mary) I want to talk about it (and may she rest in peace—and I myself remember her as a loving, kind, frail woman—I only knew why she was so frail after she died and I talked to Aunt Mary and others—Great-Granddad and others did not treat her well for at least 73 years [She applied for a marriage license on May 10, 1934—she never got it signed. I have no clue how her parents were, but her two brothers' divorces and how she was attracted to Great-Granddad may indicate something—I can't say, though. A cousin said that they identified as Slovakian Catholics, though—they seemed okay enough, though, from what I can tell. At least they raised Great-Grandma well—Mom even recalls that, when she knew her, she had the Old Country charm—even though she was born in Ashley, Pennsylvania! And, as I said, she was a loving, kind, frail woman—she even loved me and Dad's cousin Jamie, and the disabled aren't looked upon too well in our family.).

By the way, I can say that Great-Grandma's passing and what it brought about was what really got me questioning and researching, now that I think about it.

Remembering When, Part Eight

I have to detour again to talk about the Foczko-Rusznak experience, so that you can get an idea of what my Czarnecki great-grandparents' experience was like in contrast to the Foczko-Rusznak one. By the way, Jacob Androlowicz—who will be mentioned in the following anecdote—was an Andrulevicus (Andrulewicz) cousin of Great-Granddad Czarnecki—remember that Great-Granddad Czarnecki's mother was Alexandria Alice Andrulewicz Czarnecki.

Tablet Magazine recently asked, "Have you or your relatives served in the military? What were your/their experiences serving as Jews?" I answered, "Yes, my relatives did serve. Only one identified as a Jew. We were Anusim—some of us even became Messianic, although we still hid our Jewishness—and the only one who had חוצפה טובה [hutzpah tovah] to identify as Jewish was Jacob Androlowicz. However, one (Staff Sergeant Andy Rusnak, z"l) chose to get cremated and have his ashes interred at his parents' gravesite—he also had a memorial service, and no viewing—he must've felt guilty that his elder sister (my dad's maternal grandma) was responsible for sending our relatives to Auschwitz (It's a long story that makes me want to vomit and still be angry at her.), and that he felt that he couldn't do anything to save his cousins."

I already discussed the awful Foczko-Rusznak debacle in which Great-Grandma Gaydos and her dad entangled us by refusing to write to relatives who asked for help. I should add, incidentally, that a cousin who did survive also got himself cremated when he died in 2006—he felt guilty about surviving. Again, I do not blame Great-Grandma's brothers or the other Foczkos for what she, as a Foczko Rusznak, did—and since her dad was a Rusznak, the responsibility fell on him as a Rusznak to help fellow Rusznaks. The Foczkos were in hiding or somewhere else by then (as, and as you will see below, there is a notable gap between the birth of Jozef Foczko to his Hanzok cousin Aurelia. Also, according to Cemetery.sk, a Jozsef Focko died on September 26, 1941—and you can bet that he did not just die.). Furthermore, a Novak cousin—Leopold Novak—was left abandoned in a mine in which he died in 1936—so, Anti Semitism was touching the Foczko and Rusznak families even before the Nazis invaded Czechoslovakian and Hungarian Slovakia. 

By the way, the translation of Leopold Novak's death cause—according to Google Translate—is as follows—and the cause is listed as "Zasypaný hlinou pri práci v opustenom kameňolome v Zlatej Idke.":

"Peppered with dirt while working in an abandoned quarry in Zlatá Idka."

"Peppered" can also read "Buried", "Buried in", "Off buried", or "Strewn". "[W]ith dirt", meanwhile, can read "the clay"or "with clay". So, the idea is that Leopold was attacked then left abandoned in the mine quarry.

As for Great-Granddad and Great-Grandma Czarnecki, meanwhile and while you are asking, I will get back to their story in the next chapter—I apologize for having to continue to detour like this.

My "PS" Status For October 28, 2013 (Cheshvan 22, 5773) at 1:37:57 AM EDT

I definitely went insane in describing how badly I need G-d to send me someone, my experience as a disabled Levite, &c.. I deservedly got a status unshared for that one, and I apologize for that. Meanwhile, to be fair, though, it does show you how serious the implications are considering that the disabled among my ancestors could not serve in the Temple (cf. Leviticus 21:17-24; and remember that Rosalia Dudayova Nagyova was a kohenet, and Johanna Hanzokova Foczkova was one if Helena Lazarova Hanzokova was one and perhaps a descendant of Ele'azar ben Aharon).

Also, consider how Avraham and Ya'akov—men who looked to the coming of the Messiah (quite technically, among the first Christians)—cheated on their non-disabled wives (Sarah and Leah, respectively. Avraham cheated on Sarah with Hagar, for example; and look who took three wives besides Le'ah instead of having the grace to annul his marriage to or divorce Le'ah when he realized that they were both tricked into taking each other instead of him being given Rachel. And none of those women were disabled—yet Abraham and Jacob cheated on them; and I'm descended from Leah's son Levi, and the Messiah made Himself to be descended from Levi and his brother Yehudah, but that doesn't make what avi Ya'akov did right.).

Do I feel encouraged, then? Not at all! I even asked another friend, when he said "I believe God will help you find that man that will be with you for the rest of your life.", "what if "the rest of [my] life" entail until he cheats on me for a younger, more-able woman and I commit suicide?"

In other words, I apologize for going insane and still hold that desperately needing prayer for G-d to send me someone isn't just smack talk with which I'm playing around—it has a lot of implications from me as a disabled Levite who's descended from at least one kohenet and can't guarantee that a Christian (including any given Messianic Jewish) man wouldn't cheat on her for even a younger, more-able woman, either.

The Jewish Kopechnes? A Bat-Anusim Speaks On The Subject

Background

When are some gentiles not really gentiles, but Anusim passing as goyim? As a bat-Anusim, I can speak to this. As I noted before, Anusim often have uncommon surnames. As I once read (and, as I recall, even beforehand suspected about some of my own family), we made up surnames or took uncommon (or at least very-gentile ones) to avoid being (for a lack of a better term) "Jew hunted" in some cases. Even Katherine Ushinsky Gajdos—who should've Americanized her name "Uszinskyová" to "Usinsky" for being a Slovakian-Hungarian woman as she claimed—Americanized her name to "Ushinsky" (The Hungarian "sz" is just "s"; the Polish "sz" is "sh"; and Great-Granddad Gaydos [z"l] identified himself as "Russian".). She further Anusized by becoming "Maria Uscianski" to get into the Philadelphia port, and put "Keyde Usziansy" on her marriage license.

Also carrying their names with them when they became Anusim with the Levitical-Khazarate Foczkos (Also "Fockos"—since "c" in Slovakian is "ts", as it is in Polish and Hungarian. In Hungarian, as in Polish, "cz" is "tsh".). We left Warszawa, Lodz, and Radom when we became Anusim (Otherwise, we—even as Anusim, at least if we were found out—would not have been allowed outside of Russia-controlled Poland, even in pre-Pale days. We fled shortly before avinu Jozef Foczko [z"l] was born in Aranyida, and preferred to lived as Anusim in Szlovákia Magyaroszág than Yehudim in Polish Russia.). Who would know us in Szlovákia Magyaroszág, after all? We were comparable to the "Kerrys" in the United States—and after generations and in Westmoreland and Luzerne Counties, who knew our own secret? After all, Aranyida and Kassa hardly knew (and the ones who did know—besides us and our families, of course—were the families and in-law families of Kassa native György "Kvetkovits" Rusznak. Of course, I would—so to speak—bust the door open even for those of us in the family who did not know; but I wasn't born yet).

Not carrying names with them were those such as György "Kvetkovits" Rusznak, who adopted a neighboring family's name. After all, he'd be know as one of the Jewish Rusznaks if he didn't adopt another name, and even having an adopted and adapted surname didn't save a Jew from being known as a Jew if he was known to be of a Jewish family. Besides, Yoshua Rusnak would later born known for his work with Zionism, despite that his family had to adopt and adapt a Ruthenian name, and make it a shem shel Yisra'el—which could easily blow the cover of "acquitted to marry" György "Kvetkovits" Rusznak, Yoshua's Anusi cousin who lived just five hours away in Aranyida. Of course, then came the foolish move to save a foolish cover when we stopped writing to Yoshua's children and their side of the family—and we, to this day, are deservedly living with what we did by buffering their efforts at piku'ach nefesh.

Two other Jews who refused to carry names with them (if they even had names before) were Regina Jantozonková Czarnogurskyová (not Charnogursyková—please note that!) and her husband, Christophorus (By the way, "ch" in Hungarian is "cs"; whereas it is "tsh" in Polish.). It could've originally been "Charnogursky"—which makes no difference in Poland—before they fled ("Cz" and "Ch" in Polish are the same, but not Slovakian or Hungarian—as the example with which I came up shows; since using other vowels didn't just give me the sounds, but sometimes words—e.g., with "u" and "e". Try it yourself, though, if you won't believe me.).

So, the background should give you an idea about the Kopetchnys:

Now About the Kopechnes

1. Their family name and variants thereof are uncommon (Use Ancestry.com and Google.com to test this for yourself.).
2. They had "David"s in their family. Keep in mind that Eastern Europeans did not adopt and adapt Jewish names in those days—remember that the opposite and converse happened (i.e., Jews, especially Anusim, adopted and adapted gentile names.). After all, gentiles did not want to be taken for Jews—unless, of course, they converted to Judaism.
3. They were apparently Moravian, but posed as Polish.

By the way, if the Kopetchnys (Kopechnes) were Anusim (as I suspect), it just proves once that that Satan goes after Anusim among Jews the most. After all, Satan hides our heritage from us and goes after us especially when we find out that we are Jewish and remain in Yeshua. Incidentally, Anusim (at least in my family) were attracted to small towns and counties like Wilkes-Barre and Luzerne County—and not feinshmeker cities and counties like Pittsburgh and Alleghany County—I suppose that that's part of why Anusim like us are (for a lack of a better term) the dirty little secret of and within the Jewish community.