Originally Published On Medium.com: 71 Years Pursuing God Worth More Than 120 Years Cursing God

 Today, I am celebrating a woman whom endured a lot in (presumably) her 70–71 years (as my great-grandmother Mary Czarnecki née Trudnak was, by all indications, one of her namesakes). She was born on October 1, 1842 and (again, presumably) deceased by July 29, 1913 (although Great-Grandma celebrated her birthday on July 28th. I don’t know whether it was confusion due to the Hebrew day beginning on the previous secular day at sunset, and celebration of the fact that the Hapsburgs at least could no longer oppress Jews as of July 28th a year later, or a combination of both. Meanwhile, all indications are that the name honoree herself died under that oppression or in the fallout of the equally-vile actions of the infamous Black Hand.).

I am celebrating a woman made the best of having to be Crypto Jewish, beginning at least as far back as when her Lévai ancestors endured oppression on Óbuda (an island in what is now Budapest). I am celebrating a woman whom arranged for her “illegitimate” daughter Aranka Zsuzanna (Aurelia Zsuzanna) Nagy (should’ve been born “Trudnyak”) to marry an “illegitimate” son of an Anna Pardutz and Jakob Fuchs (whom was born Rezso Antal or Rudolph Anton Pardutz, and should’ve been born Rezso Antal or Rudolph Anton Fuchs).

I am celebrating a woman whom refused to marry in a Roman Catholic church and risked that her children would be seen as “illegitimate” (which they were. After all, few to none in the Roman Catholic Church — whether in Austrohungary or elsewhere — really followed Jesus of Nazareth; and whether or not I agree with her about whether Jesus of Nazareth is the Messiah is another discussion. I can still grant that she attempted to pursue God, even if not out of knowledge. After all, most of the Hapsburgs certainly did not pursue God out of knowledge).

I am celebrating a woman whom seems to have kept herself together as much as she could do so when her son Mihály Nagy took his father’s name and immigrated with him to the United States, and when she and her daughters (the younger of whose fate I still don’t know in any part) were left behind (Aranka and Rezso married in 1904, meanwhile, and that’s the last that I know of either of them.).

I am celebrating a woman whom kept Jewish traditions alive in the midst of Pseudo-Christian Romanism and Austrohungarianism. Using a mix of Sefardi and Ashkenazi naming customs, she and her common-law husband refused to name their firstborn daughter in a way that would give the impression of honoring Miriam bat Eli in a Pseudo-Christian manner.

I am not honoring a man whom was born 82 years after her own birth, and would go on to want to the death of her (and her children’s, and my) people. I look at the man whom was born on October 1, 1924 as cursed (even if he lives 20 more years) compared to my ancestor whom lived only about 71 years and tried to pursue God in every one of those years. By the way, I hope that, that certain man took heed with the events that occurred in the past 24 hours, even despite that about six of my people were murdered: even if he should live 20 more years to curse Israel, he will be cursed for eternity with the one “Palestinian” and the five Iranians whom God Himself cursed to avenge the blood of my people.

I will also not name that man. After all, he called for the legitimization of Hamas (yemach shemo) as recently as 2015, and for Israel to cease fire two weeks after the October 7th attacks. I will by contrast name and remember Maria Nagy (whom should’ve had the right to be Maria Nagy Trudnyak). I will also hope that the memories of Maria Nagy (both daughter and mother — along with Maria Nagy-Trudnyak’s siblings), her parents (and her children’s maternal grandparents), in-law children (including Rezso Pardutz-Fuchs and Anna Munka Trudnak), and other relatives (including Mary Trudnak Czarnecki) will have memories for a blessing and behold their Redeemer (whom I believe to be Jesus of Nazareth) at last at the resurrection of the dead (and I know for certain that Great-Grandma did confess with her mouth and believe in her heart that Jesus of Nazareth is the Messiah and Lord).

לזכור מרים בת יוסף ‏אליעזר נגי ומרים פרצלמיר נגי, ז״ל.

(In memory of Miriam daughter of Yosef Eliezer and Miriam Pretzelmayer Nagy; may her memory be for a blessing)

Commentary: Special Circumstances and An Utter Failure

 Because Maryland does not have capital punishment and the crimes were particularly heinous in nature, “Maryland v. Billingsley” could have easily been upgraded to a federal case. Stalking and murder is one matter. Aggravated rape as well as aggravated attempted murder via arson and aggravated battery via arson are quite another, especially when combined with aggravated stalking and aggravated murder. 

Also, at least CEO LaPere is hopefully at peace. Jason Billingsley’s other female victim, by contrast, has to relive every day what she endured; and while his male victim also suffered, he wasn’t raped. 

Maryland failed three families either way.

Long Answer To A Woman Whose Husband Is a Cousin of Hers

 Read very carefully what I write, as I qualify my answer: 

Last week’s Torah portion made very clear that we Jews are supposed to in fact marry within our tribes. I come from a Crypto-Jewish family, and a lot my families stuck together precisely for the same reason. In fact, e.g., the paternal grandmother (Alexandria née Andrulewicz) of my paternal grandfather (John “Jack” Czarnecki) flipped out when her son Anthony “Tony” (né Czerniecki) Czarnecki married Mary Trudnak (both of whose parents were of Levitic descent. Her father, e.g., was a descendant of Elizabeth Levai Duday; and her mother was a straight-line patrilineal descendant of a Munk(a) Horowitz. You would think that because they were both of Levitic descent, she would not have flipped out. You probably wouldn’t know that she accounted for the fact of my great-grandma did in fact believe in Jesus, whereas, my great-granddad did not—and his respective grandfathers were an Ashkenazi Levite and a Sefardi-Ashkenazi kohen.

The reason that I say all of this is that I find that the husband is an asshole especially if he is a fellow Jew and aware of exactly what Torah says on the matter, and he ignores the fact that Crypto Jews like my ancestors at least took pains to assure that we did not lose our lines among Israel. Besides, Jesus was (and, I believe, is) Torah observant and came through Torah-observant Jews whom were cousins—as his mother was Mariam the daughter of Eli (a descendant of Nathan the son of David), and his adoptive father was Joseph the son of Jacob (a descendant of Solomon, Nathan’s brother). 

If he’s gentile, then he’s still an asshole. He just doesn’t have a Torah-incumbent matter to consider. 

“Easy On Me” and Great-Granddad

 In the Willi Gittens cover of the Adele song, I can hear the lyrics much more clearly than I heard in the original version and other covers. As far as I can tell, even though Adele obviously never knew my paternal grandfather or his parents, this could have been essentially my great-grandfather’s final days summed up. To sum up (or again sum up) his life story, I can tell you the following: 

Great-Granddad (ע״ה)  treated Great-Grandma (ז״ל) in a hurt-people-hurt-people way. He endured a lot of trauma just from living as a pogrom survivor and Crypto Jew whom, with his rape-survivor mother, had to flee what is now Poland as quickly as he could. He, I now think, had a rape-conceived sibling whom was left behind in Poland and not, as I previously thought, born in the United States. He became a paternal orphan when he was 17 going on 18, and he would experience a lot of other loss by the time that he himself died. As I write this, for example, his brother Bernie’s 61st secular-calendar yahrzeit came and went four days ago—and Bernie (ז״ל), being the youngest brother at just over 15 years younger, ideally should have outlived him. So should have my first granduncle Tony—his firstborn son (ז״ל.). 

After essentially losing his childhood and losing (among over 10 others in a total of just under 60.17 years ) at least two siblings in his first 20 years (including his left-behind sibling in 1907-1908), both parents by the time that he was 31 (with neither of his parents reaching even 60 years—let alone 70 years—of age), and a younger brother and a younger cousin (Lillie Czarnecki Trudnak, ז״ל) in the same year (1963/5723), he endured the final straw. With the coal mines closed down in Sugar Notch and his right leg lost (specifically, his three middle toes and his lower leg severed) in a lawnmowing accident, he lost hope of any employment and of staving off PTSD and Depression flareups. 

He would have been familiar with tashlich and netilat yadayim as well as mikvot. He would have also heard of baptism by immersion (for at least the mere reason that Northeastern Pennsylvania actually contained a WASP community even during its Non-WASP demographic shifts), and he perhaps would have explained to Great-Grandma and my younger granduncle Tony (ז״ל) what drove him to a suicide attempt had he survived it. 

These lyrics alone would capture that, plus the facts that he did change his mind about suicide and that he did leave a suicide note in the car: 

“There ain’t no gold in this river 

 

 “That I’ve been washin’ my hands in forever 

 

“I know there is hope in these waters

 

“But I can’t bring myself to swim

 

“When I am drowning in this silence…”

I don’t know if Granduncle Tony or Great-Grandma ever read or even saw the suicide note that was found at the scene. What I do know is that Granduncle Tony was an 18-year-old paternal orphan whom was still living with a hurt-people-hurt-people father and a now-widowed mother. What I also know is that Great-Grandma was a conflicted 51-year-old widow whom had endured an abusive 30-plus-years marriage: 

 “There ain’t no room for things to change

 

“When we are both so deeply stuck in our ways

 

“You can’t deny how hard I have tried

 

“I changed who I was to put you both first

 

“But now I give up… 

 

“So go easy on me”

 

Why “Religious Trauma” Is Usually A Valid Explanation—Even Though Not An Excuse

 In very few cases is “religious trauma” actually a cover for sin or at least a full cover. For example, many Catholic- and Amish-raised people experienced sexual and non-sexual abuse while being told, “You shall not hate your neighbor in your heart” and “Your shall honor your father and mother.” 

Some, e.g., Catholic- and Amish-raised people were indeed disrespectful brats, although many if not most lashed out because, e.g., their parish priests and deacon neighbors were sexually abusing them; and/or their parents were hypocritically telling them things like, “God doesn’t love you, you God-damned sinner. You don’t question what the church leaders say, no matter how much you think that you should be able to read the Bible for yourself. Who in Hell do you think that you are for wanting ‘a personal relationship with Jesus’? Jesus didn’t die for you so that you can do whatever in Hell you want. Do what you’re supposed to do—‘honor your father and mother’, and ‘do not speak against a leader of your people’—especially if you’re not Paul, and you’re without any reason to speak against a high priest.” 

After a childhood of such sexual and/or non-sexual abuse, a child may well be made twice as fit for Hell as the abusers because he or she engages in, e.g., homosexual activity after being raped by the parish priest or familial abuse after being verbally and mentally abused by his or her dad whom was an Amish bishop. The latter is, e.g., actually the case of Fannie Beechy Yoder—her son Eli frequently speaks about how her mindset is still even to please “her father, the bishop” or “please her daddy”; and she went on to marry the very-abusive Henry Yoder, whom himself was a target of child abuse. She herself went on to abuse Mr. Yoder as he began to turn his life over to Jesus and considered leaving the Amish, and even after he began to repent of his own abuse; and she continues to abuse Eli and his family simply because they talk about the Pseudo-Christian abusiveness within much of Amish culture. 

Therefore, there are less merely-spoiled brats and way more Fanny Beechys and Eli Yoders (and Eli himself perpetrated and perpetuated abuse until he became born again in 2017). 

PS I also have faced religious trauma, although I am aware that, that does not excuse my own sins; and I all the more I understand when Jesus warned the Pharisees about making people twice as fit for Hell—and especially Dad’s ancestors in recent generations faced trauma from Rabbinic Jewish leadership and from Pseudo-Christian leadership (Being born under fences around the Torah and with a distorted understanding of Jesus can cause Crypto Jews more trauma than either most Jews or gentiles realize or care to realize). If I did not work to understand where some of my own sinful behaviors over the course of my life have originated, I would be just as badly on a path as many of my family members. 

PPS I don’t need to talk about the Catholic part as much. If you followed my blog, write any of my other ratings, and/or know me personally, you very much understand why the Catholic Church caused me religious trauma—and caused me to understand why my especially father’s family still tries to hide our Jewish heritage when they’re not exactly open to the fact that I found out about it (Apathy or feigned ignorance is the least-hostile response which I’ve seen; and family on both sides have been markedly hostile, including in enraged denial, when I’ve brought up our Jewish heritage. Dad is not mixed, whereas Mom is; and while neither identity as Jewish, especially some of Mom’s relatives have been eager to point out that we’re mostly of gentile descent on those sides as well as from outwardly-Catholic and -Lutheran backgrounds within recent generations. One, Colleen DeBoy*, did so very publicly on my blog; and she is the only one who my will be mentioning publicly for that reason.

(*We are descendants of the mixed-blooded-Jewish John Adam DeBoy, a descendant of Catherine Peltz, and Ella Farrell, whose father was actually Jewish. How the Farrells were Jewish is not exactly clear to me to this day, although I’m still taken aback by the fact that the custom of omitting flowers was a Farrell custom, and not a Peltz custom that Pop-Pop DeBoy kept.)

#WoofWednesday: The Post-Grooming Photoshoot That You May Need To See

 

There are an additional 27 photos in a separate photo burst. Reilly is a little gift that keeps on giving just by being Reilly.

Trigger Warning: Depiction and Description of Cambodian Genocide Of 1975-1979

 Unfortunately, Instagram would not allow me to mark the following painting as “sensitive”. When I began to paint this, I had no idea where it was going. What could I do with a poorly-painted human form that looked like a corpse? Then it clicked: I was eerily reminded that Cambodians were left as nothing on “killing fields” by the Khmer Rouge. I either did not know or remember that the #CambodianGenocide. ended only 45 years ago on January 7th. As I researched and painted, I thought about what the Cambodian Buddhist monk in the painting would think (The painting is at the end of this poem. If you are sensitive, please do not look at the painting.): 

“As my garment of the monk that I was

“Blended with the blood that sunk as flies buzz

“Above me (and my life that penetrated ground 

“(So much that which is cloth of Buddhist robes confound)

“My soul cries out and wonders if my family

“Will ever identify what calamity

“Left of me on the thorn, thistle, and briar.

“Will I be abandoned with no pyre

“For what remains of me?

“My relatives can’t see

“Or call out my name, or hear—

“As they, too, have not one bier

“Or mourner left to carry them—for I perceive 

“The voices of loved ones agonizingly leave

“The mortal realm and join me among the souls

“Of the victims of the Khmer Rogue as rolls

“The field in which my body lays (and in which my eyes

“(No longer bring forth water, but bring forth what belies

“Any claim of any wisdom by the Khmer Rouge). 

“As strong waves of red from socket to socket deluge

“More than the Mekong River ever could flood,

“The clay of my form softens as if the mud

“Of a bank it was destined to be

“Instead of committed properly

“According to Cambodian tradition—

“All because of Pol Pot’s dereliction.”

PS Jonathan Glazer Can Refute God’s Protection All That He Wants—And That’s On Him

 Through blood-shot eyes and under war-torn skies,

Through sleepless nights, we must survive and fight

Just to live another day, and to pray 

That victory will come by El Shadai

With His mighty hand and outstretched arm

To defeat the band that seeks to harm

The chosen nation, to whom the God of ben-Yishai

Swears His salvation forever—‘Am Yisra’el Chai! 

Commentary: Better Sleep, Better Societies?

 I guess that precisely because I’m up late for multiple reasons, I can ponder on the following: would people in general make better sociocultural (including political and economic) decisions overall if they just got more regular sleep at night? Perhaps part of the reason that American and other societies are failing is that those societies often have all-night, 24/7, etc. gas stations, convenience stores, bars, etc. Of course, to sleep at night (let alone sleep well at night) can be difficult for those of us with chronic conditions such as mental illnesses (e.g., Depression) and Spinal Disk Degeneration (C3-C7 for me). To live within cultures and societies which don’t encourage regular sleep can also make sleeping (let alone well) at night—especially for those of us with chronic and sleep-depriving health conditions—difficult. 

Perhaps American and other societies need to encourage a scaleback to 8-12/6 gas stations, bars, etc.; a lack of late-night TV shows and reruns, and other measures that positively affect proper sleep. After all, only emergency personnel (including EMS professionals and urgent-news reporters) are the only people whom need to be on a 24/7-on-call basis. The rest of us can take (one or) two (melatonin pills or whatever else to help us get to sleep) and answer the calls of societal hustle and bustle in the morning.

Were Secular Names Just Random or Arbitrary? If You Believe That Our Ancestors Were Unintelligent, Yes.

 TL:DR: our ancestors were not unintelligent, and even calquing “Rachel” with “Rosa” or “Rose” was very specific. 

If you actually read: 

Let’s start with my my own case: I could have taken “ניקול” or “ניכול” as my Hebrew name when I found out that I’m Jewish. I made a concerted effort to look up what a Hebrew name equivalent to my secular name would be. “נצחיה” was already there. As far as my Hebrew middle or second name: 

1) I don’t want to give out my secular middle name to most people for multiple reasons. 

2) “מרה-טובה” (good bitterness) describes my life perfectly. 

Someone else suggested that I just use “מרתה” (Marta or Martha). I declined that suggestion because: 

1) That name does not fit with either of my secular names in any way. 

2) I am not a direct descendant of any Marta or Martha, as far as I know, and I did not know that my paternal grandfather’s aunt Sophie Martha Thomas-Brighton (née Trudnak) existed until after my great-grandmother (ז״ל) died. I also did not know that Great-Grandma herself was a daughter of Crypto-Jews until after she died. Because I did not know Great-Grandaunt Sophie personally and am (as far as I know) not in contact with any of her living descendants, I think that I would actually be insulting Great-Grandaunt Sophie’s memory and her side of our family if I use “Marta”. 

This isn’t just my view. In Jewish culture, uses and transliterations of names as well as translations of names are actually important. Despite what some might say, many actually tried to keep the Jewish (Hebrew or Hebrew-dialect) and secular (non-Jewish) names as close as possible in some or another form. 

Now to “Rachel” “Rachel” (“Ewe”) and “Rosa” (“rose” or “pink”): while the names indeed correlate partly due to the first letter in Latin lettering, they also correlate because Rachel’s life was seen like the life of a rose. Fragile and thorny was Rachel’s life indeed, no matter the sweetness or blossoming in it. After all, even though she was the favorite wife of Jacob, she wanted to die because of competition against Leah and her own infertility (“Give me children lest I die!” we read that she told Ya’akov avinu). When she finally had biological children (as the sons born to Bilhah were put with Bilhah instead of her when Ya’akov had to divide everybody), she died in childbirth and named her second child “בן-אוני”—“son of my sorrow”.

Our ancestors understood how thorny, fragile, and bittersweet Rachel’s life was, even if they could read only Hebrew lettering and not—for example—Latin lettering (all of which—despite their various orthographies—the various Romance languages, the Germanic languages, Slavic languages such as Polish and Slovakian, Balkan languages such as Serbian and Croatian, and Magyar use). 

Our ancestors were scattered and often could not even read or write in Hebrew dialects, let alone read and write in the various languages surrounding them in the Exile. Their lack of proficiency in any given language—especially after lack of proficiency was forced by oppressive law—did not equate to a lack of intelligence. Therefore, for instance and as demonstrated, they did not just randomly or cavalierly equate “Rachel” and “Rose”— they understood the correlation between the fragile, thorny, and bittersweet life of a rose and the life of Rachel imeinu—which was fraught with peril, distress, and sorrow even in the joys and suffering in the blessings.

Calling Up the Dead? Not Really, Though Maybe Painting What A Belated Matriarch Looked Like?

 

Latest painting: “Middle Eastern (Possibly Egyptian or Jewish) Woman”. If it ended up being a self-portrait, I certainly did not intend that. The woman has black hair, whereas I have brown hair. I did have some ancestors with black hair, as some of my relatives had black hair—i.e., great-granduncles and -aunts, and cousins known to not have inherited or likely inherited black hair from elsewhere. I’ve actually occasionally felt pretty smug about the fact that some of them inherited black hair, as we thankfully often avoided the blond and other hair that could’ve come from Slavs, Balts, Vikings, and Magyars as well as other gentiles in Eastern and Southeastern Europe.  

The stereotypical brown, red, and black hair thankfully made it difficult for my family whom wanted our Jewish heritage even lost to history within the family. By the way, I take joy in looking Jewish. Other people knew that I was Jewish before I did because I even look Jewish— and that’s literally what someone told me when I told him that I’m Jewish: “I figured that you’re Jewish. You look Jewish.” 

I don’t shy away from my Jewish looks, and so be if this a self portrait or even an unintentional portrait of a belated ancestor—with, as I will demonstrate in an update, a Gajdosz or Ushinsky matriarch readily coming to mind. 

Update:

1) Joseph Edmund Gajdos was a brown-eyed brunet and brother of my father’s maternal grandfather (whom identified as “Russian” as the closest way to identity as Jewish—and he absolutely knew the distinction between “Russian” and “Ruthenian”. At least two of his ancestors were Jews in what is now Ukraine and Poland, and the whole of Ukraine by that point was entirely occupied by the Soviet Union. The first known one fled to Upper Hungary as the Russians encroached; and the second one was born “Palin”, “Polin”, or “Palir”.)

2) I am not aware as to whether his mother had brown eyes. That is what I’m trying to figure out, as my great-grandfather had blue eyes.

3) My great-grandfather’s youngest brother was also a brown-eyed brunet. So far, I have not been able to find any physical description of either of their parents except for that their mother was about 5 feet exactly! By the way, her manifest at Philadelphia absolutely disproves that people could not remember on what ship they came to the U.S., as every single immigrant—including ones who lied about somethings or others at the ports of emigration—had a “contract ticket number”.

4) Impressively, my great-granddad maybe was one of the few blue-eyed kids—and maybe the only blue-eyed one, has all of his surviving brothers’ draft cards indicate that they were brown-eyed brunets. Also as I’ve said before, I have simcha in our family’s stereotypically-Jewish features. The gentiles could not take away our Jewish features so easily. Conversely, my father’s paternal grandfather and one of his cousins (Julius/Julian Danilowicz by secular name) were so ashamed of looking Jewish, they even dyed their hair blonde at various times.

#WoofWednesday: Someone Broke Into Camille’s “Jail”!

 

A Painting—And Not For Only Six Million

 

I originally covered up parts of when I accidentally painted two upward triangles on the flag. Then it made me realize that even if the skies should cover any part of the Israeli flag, and should cover part of Israel, Israel will emerge as a light in the darkness. 

PS Not for just six million, might I add—many  Holocaust victims & survivors are apparently too “not halachically Jewish” or too persecuted outside of 1933-1945 Germany to be recognized as Holocaust victims & survivors. Never mind that Stalin culminated his Antisemitic ethnocide with the Soviet-called “The Doctor’s Plot”, and the gulag system did not close until 1960; and never mind that the Islamic Middle East persecuted Jews before and after 1933-1945 🙄. 😡 It makes me sick that, e.g., even the President of Ukraine was tricked into not understanding that his parents who were born in Russia-occupied Ukraine are Holocaust survivors (One was even born right before the perpetration of the Soviet-called “The Doctor’s Plot, and the other was born during it.). 

Not just six million in 1933-1945 at the hands of the Germans and their accomplices—Jews in the Soviet Union and the Islamic Middle East (including during the Hebron and Aleppo Pogroms) who were victimized (including by the British accomplices of the Arab occupiers of Hebron) were Holocaust victims as well. That doesn’t even take into account the unrecognized “not halachically Jewish” victims of the over-six million in 1933-1945 at the hands of the Germans and their accomplices.

#SillySaturday: Don’t Let Camille Fool Anyone

 

I just want to warn everybody about Camille: she hurts Momma on a frequent basis, and steals kisses from me! - Reilly

Commentary: An Example Of Why Even Records Of Persecuted And Deceased Relatives Matter

 

Adela Saposnik y Andrelevich de Zelasco was an Andrelevich whom immigrated to Argentina. A few other Andrulevich, Andrelevich, etc. family members also immigrated to South America—some having done so as openly Jewish, though most (as far as I know) did so as Crypto Jews.

This hopefully gives me a clue to what happened to my cousin Rochla Andrelewitz, as perhaps Lila was a sibling of Rochla. I haven’t newly seen any records that I can ascertain are about Rochla, although this discovery absolutely was unexpected and very much needed. 

Some of our own branches did use Andrelewicz, Andrelevich, etc.; and there was one instance in which my great-grandaunt Alice gave her mother’s name as “Andrewicz”. More often than not, however, we used “Andrulewicz”, “Andrulevich”, etc.; and we were among the Crypto-Jewish branches (One relative, as I mentioned last year, was betrayed by maternal—Staskiel/“Shackel”—cousins of his when he tried to pass for a Pole. Because of them, as they were witnesses at his naturalization and were among the only ones who could’ve known about it outside of us, he faced employment discrimination.). 

Even when the discoveries hurt or do not involve relatives whom were living at the time,  I feel vindicated seeing that we are Jewish as I discovered—especially since quite a few people have had chutzpah g’dolah to deny my Jewishness to my face, and my family does not need what we endured denied.

By the way I still do not know what happened to Great-Granddad’s rape-conceived sibling. All that I know is that, that poor child keeps going in and out of the record; and because he or she was among three born and living children when Great-Grandaunt Regina was born, he or she was forcibly conceived in or about September 1907. Great-Grandaunt Regina was born on March 31, 1909; and she is mentioned as one of two born and living children on the 1910 census.  

Great-Grandaunt Alice** is then mentioned as one of three living children of four born on her birth certificate in June 1910. When Great-Granduncle Stanley is mentioned in November of next year, he is mentioned as one of five children living and born. When Great-Granduncle Jankie (secular name “John”) is mentioned almost two years later, he was mentioned as one of five born and living—and at that point, of course, there should’ve been six mentioned as having been born. 

PS That’s why I also get angry regarding the rabbis whom would deny DNA testing over “mamzerut”.  Shlomo HaMelekh was technically a “mamzer”, as his mother was a rape-taken wife whose first child died because of his father’s (David’s) sin. As יהוה has rachamim on the mamzerim and their descendants (including myself, as I have known and ascertained mamzerut in at least one line*), so can the rabbis.

*That specifically-referenced mamzerut was such a shame to my mother’s paternal grandmother (Alice Marie Reilly Allen), that she concocted the bubbe meise that the adulterous ancestor (John Allan) was some distant great-granduncle of her children—and her maternal grandfather (João Ferin, later John McCoy) was an Anusi bin hagolim b’Sefarad. As far as I know, her husband (Edgar Joseph Allen) was fully gentile; and she was nonetheless ashamed of his mamzerut (His Conley grandmother was born a Coleman and could’ve been Jewish, although I have not seen evidence that she was even an Irish Huguenot—and some Irish were actually Crypto-Jewish Catholics or Hugenots. 

(Of course, one DeBoy cousin publicly expressed her anger in a comment on this blog when I found that out about one of our Farrell ancestors, and I publicly in turn responded. As she publicly commented, she could take the public response. If she continues to have a problem with it, perhaps she can talk to יהוה about why Farrells asked that flowers be omitted in their obituaries. I have simcha in being Jewish—and too bad if she doesn’t have any simcha.)

**She was at least in the secular sense named partly for her mother. We are mixed Ashkenazi Sefardi, and finding such minhag l’kanot among us is not unusual.

#SillySaturday: Either way, no silent night if Rei’s too close to Santa Penguin for Cam’s comfort!

 A few minutes before…

Afterward, when Reilly dared to just walk in the family room…

Commentary: A Few (Among Many) Suggestions For Antifeminist Women

 Give up all of your property—including your bank accounts and cars—to your husbands, fathers, brothers, adult sons, and/or other men in your lives. Give up your jobs and/or education. Refuse to vote in this year’s elections except for if you vote how your men tell you to vote. 

If you even ever leave your houses again—and not to just vote in person—don’t leave the houses without your men’s permissions. Also don’t do anything that your men forbid (e.g., even undergo medical procedures)—no matter how much your lives would be endangered, and even if your men are abusing you and/or your minor children. Additionally, never leave the house without looking as young, fertile, and healthy as possible. 

Then, either live by your own antifeminist standards or learn to appreciate what you have or—after you lose everything, had—because of the fight by women’s-rights advocates, whom were derided as “feminists” (female supremacists) and took the derisions as badges of honor.  By the way, no antifeminist woman is a woman of valor, ‎as ⁦‪women‬⁩ of ⁦‪#valor‬⁩ (⁧‫נשים החיל ‬⁩) don’t deride real ⁦‪women’s-rights‬⁩ advocates. In fact, real women of valor pursue justice and judge with righteousness. Real women of valor also plead for the causes of the poor and the needy—which many women even in the West were before the women’s-rights movement occurred.

Thankful For Vindication By יהוה? Let Me Explain Why

 One thing for which I’m thankful this year: יהוה vindicates in His own time, and I don’t have to defend the people whom were giving me drek when they need someone to defend them. They might get to acutely feel the effects of having driven away people whom would have otherwise spoken up for them when other people were given them drek. 

A few specific incidents come to mind, with one incident being that someone who frequently wrote k’tav hara against me—a public figure within the genealogy realm—has gotten her Sefardi Jewish heritage questioned (and in quite the passive-aggressive way, too). I don’t know whether she knows about it, and I don’t care to bring it to her attention either way. I thought about speaking up for her, even though she treated me and others similarly, though I just let it go—if she can write k’tav hara, she can read it.

In any case, I hope that if she ever reads the allegations against her, she feels at least similarly to how I and others felt when she would mistreat us—especially when she encouraged others to gang up on us. 

PS In case anyone is curious to know who she is, Google “Sephardic Jews in Poland?” 

The allegations are unfair, wild, and not unlike what she has written about others and me.

Update: screenshot and quote in case the k’tav hara against the genealogist gets deleted after all (My problem can be that I’m too nice even regarding people whom treat me like drek, and I ended up rebuking the person in question about his allegation once he recently used a different forum to try to gaslight me into thinking he did not know what Jewish DNA is): 

“Generally, the simplest explanation is best. An Ashkenazi genealogist with a large platform claims that their TALALAY ancestors from Mogilev, Belarus, adopted the surname in the 19th Century not from local Slavs called TALALAY but from a similarly named family in 14th Century Catalonia. Allegedly the family crossed Europe from one end to the other, secretly remembering (or misremembering) the surname for 500 years. There is no evidence to support the claim. There is no evidence of equivalent family histories. Anyone is free to mythologise their ancestors like this, but it is not genealogy. Is it more likely a surname was adopted locally or from someone generations and a continent away?

“I think such fantasies contain a belief that Sephardic ancestry is somehow superior to Ashkenazi. It seems to me that the story of how a family reached eastern Europe from the Rhineland, survived the collapse of the Polish-Lithuanian Commonwealth, and the horrendous history thereafter, is in every way equally deserving of serious study.”

Commentary: What Should Humble The Arabs and Us Jews Alike

Ishmael was an in-law father of his nephew Esau, and Esau was the twin brother of Jacob. Esau’s and Jacob’s common grandparent with Ishmael’s children (including Esau’s wife Machalat) was Abraham, whose brother Nahor married his niece (Haran’s daughter) Milcah (whom was the mother of Rebecca’s father, Bethuel). Abraham, meanwhile, married his (and Haran’s and Terah’s) sister Sarah.

So, think about this: Isaac and Rebecca were primarily once-removed first cousins, and Isaac was also a nephew to his father (Abraham) and to his mother (Sarah). He was a double nephew to Nahor and Haran, and an in-law nephew to his first cousin Milcah. He also was in-law first cousin to his uncle Nahor, and a direct and once-removed first cousin to Bethuel (which also made him a second cousin to Rebecca). 

Keep in mind that this made both Isaac and Rebecca twice-removed first cousins to Jacob and Esau…

And I think that ought to humble us Jews and the Arabs a little more. We all are literally descended from a sibling couple (as Abraham and Sarah were children of Terah through different mothers), an avuncular (uncle-niece) couple, a multiethnic couple (It can be assumed that Rebecca’s unnamed mother was Aramean or Syrian, as Bethuel was Hebrew and Numbers describes Jacob as “‘a wandering Aramean’”), and a couple whom were once-removed cousins whom were related in other ways.

A Quick-Enough Update: New Book, My Purpose In Writing, Etc.

 

TL:DW: I will never aggressively promote my books. Nonetheless, I ask others to at least consider them. PS See https://www.amazon.com/author/nicoleczarnecki.

#WoofWednesday: some pictures from the behind-the-scenes belated Halloween photoshoot

 

Commentary: The Real Reformation Day (Partly Originally A Twitter Thread)

 The real Reformation Day is February 19. February 19, 1377 was the day that John Wycliffe (ז״ל) was first officially persecuted by the state. October 31, 1517, by contrast, was the day that Martin Luther (ימ״ש) made a mockery of the martyrdoms of Wycliffe (whom persecution eventually fatally wore down) and Jan Hus (ז״ל, and whom would be directly martyred at the hands of a Germanic state). This mockery would culminate in an Antisemitic pamphlet through which Luther would incite violence from subsequent pogroms in Germanic states (including the pogroms during the German part of the Holocaust) to the violence that necessitated Israel’s self-defensive Simchat Torah War. After all, Luther “doubly hated God” once he read Scripture and was not willing to die for his professed faith. 

Luther (ימ״ש) (and Calvin, ימ״ש) also eventually moved to turn the Germanic states (and the city of Geneva) into “Christian” (Pseudo-Christian) theocracies (and their “theo” was not יהוה). He was therefore (along with Calvin) one of the first “Christian” (Pseudo-Christian) nationalists in modern history. Real reformers like Wycliffe and Hus (ז״ל וה״י״ד) would not be again until people like Tyndale and Lopez (ז״ל וה״י״ד, and the latter of whom was a Jewish Christian of converso birth). 

Many who walk in the path of Luther (ימ״ש) (and Calvin, ימ״ש) therefore fail to realize that Luther (along with Calvin) was among the “Reformer” wolves in sheep’s clothing whom were well versed enough in Scripture to deceive even the elect about what they were. Others who walk in the Lutheran (and Calvinist) path fully realize what the Pseudo Reformers were and even aspire to be elect-deceiving wolves (Among those wolves are Eric Conn and Doug Wilson). Whether simply misguidedly or full maliciously, then, they might as well be celebrating Samhain if they’re going to celebrate October 31st as Reformation Day.

An Unpopular Observation (Partly Originally A Comment On YouTube)

 As unpopular as observing the following is, I am observing that Matthew Perry will ultimately have the legacy of having been an actor whom starred in the show that promoted licentiousness as comedic. At the end of the day, he really did not do anything to help others. In fact, he even wished death on Keanu Reeves and bragged about his adulterous relationship with Valerie Bertinelli. 

Who does wishing death on anyone and bragging about adultery help—especially when the adultery was committed with the spouse of a fellow person whom was in the throes of drug addiction? This is not to mention that even the rehab center which he formed from his residence shut down in 2015. Who did shutting down such a rehab center help, and who did having such a residence in the first place help? After all, Matthew Perry wasn’t a woman with a spikenard-and-alabaster jar whom was anointing Jesus’ head.

When God gives you a platform such as Matthew Perry had, you’re supposed to use the platform to serve God and really help others instead of use the platform for your own gain and cloak your hedonism in a thin veneer of fearing God. Matthew Perry used his platform for the promotion of licentiousness and hedonistic self enrichment. As a result, he leaves behind (among the people whom could have benefited from help like his and did not receive it) multiple unhelped fellow people with addictions. He also leaves behind $1M from each episode of “F.R.I.E.N.D.S.”, and every single one of those $236M testifies against him how it was not used to really help anybody.

What is gaining the world, especially at the expense of others, to lose your soul and having others ask of you, “Who needs enemies with friends like him?”

More of “When Are They Anusim?”

 (Originally a Facebook comment. More detail here.)

If you suspect that something in your family indicates Crypto-Jewish heritage, it definitely could. My father’s family often did similarly when they became or had been Crypto Jews—if they, e.g., could avoid the predominant denomination (Russian Orthodox in Poland) and even put off any rites, they did. For example, one matriarch (“Katarzyna” Danilowicz Czerniecki) was not forcibly baptized until she was five, and one patriarch (Mihály Trudnyak né Nagy) in Hungary was “illegitmate” because his parents refused to marry in a Roman Catholic church—both of his siblings (Zsuzana and Mária) were “illegitimate” as well, and they lived in a different house when each sibling was born. They wanted to avoid an Austrohungarian inquisition.

 They also denomination switched like it didn’t matter to them when they did because it didn’t matter to them—one, as I recall, Morgiewicz or Margiewicz even became a Congregationalist! It held no religious significance for them (and if you think that I’m going to be able to link to every record at every moment, you’re—to put it politely—being meshugah on purpose. I have other things to do, including to manage my ADD and Generalized Anxiety Disorder, as well as to help fellow Jew avoid equivalents of inquisitions by other fellow Jews. Anyway, about the denomination switching…)

Even if it had a religious significance, the ethnic Jewishness was kept in the family—unless gentile cousins spoke about it when they weren’t supposed to do so (which two Shackel/Staskiel cousins of one of my Andrulewicz cousins did, and a note about him being a “JEW” was made in the payroll sections of his employment cards twice. One card reads “44-JEW” and “44-JEW-1”). 

It also came out in small hints left by family—e.g., to this day, I don’t think that many family members appreciate that my great-grandaunt Helen Rusnak Ropel left the wonderful gift of giving her father‘s Hebrew name when she died. As it clicked when I realized what she left for the burial records to hold, my paternal grandmother’s maternal grandfather used “Stef” or “Stephen” (or variants thereof) to calque for “Yosef”. I thought that there was a mistake at first. Then I realized how brave Great-Grandaunt Helen was. Even though she couldn’t give it in life, she was going to make sure that she could give her fathers name as ”Joseph Rusnak” before she left this life. 

(By the way, on the secular calendar, she died on my 18th birthday. I was able to confirm that I’m Jewish on another side in the July of that year.). 

Be prepared, by the way, to have family treat you horribly over finding out that you’re Jewish.  I actually, e.g., fell out with one maternal cousin because he or she was not happy that I found out that we are mixed-blooded Jews on one particular side (i.e., Lehr-Pundt, and I will give no more hints as to what cousin. I have multiple cousins on that side across generations, and I don’t want to dox anybody or give any other attention—whether positive or negative—to anyone whom hates me that much. If he or she happens to read this—and he or she knows who he or she is—he or she can deal with the fact that I was able to confirm with a Lehr cousin that we are Jewish. Of course, ironically, that cousin of mine fell out with me over political differences—and differences which are not good for the Jewish people as a whole, might I add).

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: “Dafne Rochle”

 “I don’t care what name you use, and I don’t need an explanation about your other name. Just take a number, and have a seat.”

Having previously had a family tree made by an intimidator did not help, and having seen correspondence published by one archivist (and a possible relative at that) on Facebook also did not help. Getting to this archive, then, maybe also did not help. 

Damned if she did, and damned if she did not—not finding a way to this archive, then, also did not help. Over 15 overall-wasted years did not help, despite what information and help Dafna had finding it came about for her. She could not commit suicide, though, even notwithstanding that doing so would help her go to the Source of all information (Yehovah Himself). She also could not continue to live being in her way and apparently everyone else’s way, and she yet could not give Hamas a victory by committing suicide—even though she would be away from Hamas and everyone else whom hated her, and she would (if suicide did not send her permanently to Gehenna) be with Yehovah (and the indignity of being forever consigned to the same place as Antisemites would be too much to bear—especially because Antisemitism caused her suicidal ideation to flare up).

Damned if she did, and damned if she did not.

“*Loud chime.* C122007, sign in to the archives. C122007, sign in to the archives. “*Loud chime.* C122007, sign in to the archives. C122007, sign in to the archives.”

Damned if she did, and damned if she did not. Dafna signed in to the archives—and whether “C122007, sign in to the archives” was yet another sign of ultimate failure was up to Yehovah. 

“Name: Dafna Maratovah Zernetzky—alias ‘Dafne Rochle’. Number: C122007. ✔️I agree to the laws, rules, and regulations as pertain to this archival building and the archival information held therein (See ‘Laws, Rules, and Regulations Pertaining To This Archive’) on the next page.

“Signature in English and Hebrew or Yiddish (Print signature valid, although cursive preferred): Dafna Zernetzky; דפנה צרנצכי.  Date (English and Hebrew—do not use the Karaite date unless you have received an exemption from using the Hebrew date): 25 Tishri 5784.”

Dafna knew that the real Hebrew (“Karaite”) date was 24 Tishri 5783—and at this rate, days and dates did not make a difference to her except for the fact that Yehovah gave the mitzvah to begin the year in Aviv-Nisan. The day on which Yehovah would give her success without failure (that is, long-term success that would not ultimately turn into failure) would be the first day in a long time that made a difference to her.

A (Sort-Of-)Quick Update, Etc.

The TL:DW is in YouTube description.

 

 

Introduction To My Upcoming Book, “Trying To Recover” (Draft)

 I’ve entertained the idea that Rochla Andrelewitz may’ve indeed posed as her mother or her sister, with her mother (not “father”) or her grandfather (or perhaps her grandmother) being “Gitla”. My great-great-grandmother Katherine Gaydos née Ushinsky certainly posed as her mother “Maria Uscianski” (although she also had a sister named “Maria”), and she claimed that her uncle was her “brother”. Because of what she did, I was thrown off and to thinking that the Haslinskzys were maternal (“half”) siblings of hers. A Krempaszky cousin corrected me (and, from what I understand, I am related to her in more ways than one—as my father’s father was a Krempaszky, and one of his cousins married a Haslinskzy. Either way, we Crypto Jews from what is now Slovakia, Hungary, etc. stuck together as much as our ancestors in Spain, Portugal, etc. stuck together.).

In turn, I had the opportunity to correct her when she tried to say that my great-grandfather Michael Gaydos meant that we were Ruthenian. As I explained to her in a message in some form, Great-Gramddad Gaydos knew exactly what he was saying when he said, “We’re Russian!” 

Great-Granddad was formally uneducated (because he had to drop out of school after eighth grade), not unintelligent in any way. It therefore didn’t work when my dad dismissed him by saying that he said that only because he worked for the Russian Orthodox Church (It was a Slovakian Catholic one), and it didn’t work to deny that he knew the difference between “Russian“ and “Ruthenian”.  (My cousin seems to have taken the hint, given that she eventually made her family tree public again). 

I have written this elsewhere, and wish that I could simply copy and paste what I have already written. I type with one finger on each hand, anyway, and I try to make sure what I say is consistentregardless of whether I write (or type) it or speak it. This is because I am trying to recover an identity that almost went to the grave with past generations (My paternal grandmother is my last surviving grandparent, and my father is still not happy that I found out about our Jewishness). Had someone in the current generations neither knew nor cared to recover it, it would have more than likely been irrecoverable in future generations

As you may have guessed, the protagonist of “Trying to Recover” has autobiographical elements and other elements that are based on the fact that I’m still trying to recover what I began to recover in 2008 (I began doing genealogy research in the prior year, and I figured out that I’m Jewish just months before I was able to confirm it.). I might take at least another 15 years to fully recover it—and that includes that I’m still working to recover what past generations almost took to the grave about Rochla Andrelewitz. Unlike my Krempaszky cousin whom came forward about Great-Great-Grandma Gaydos (although I first reached out to her), anyone who knows what happened to Rochla or which Andrelewitz “Rochla” really was  has yet to come forward (and I do credit my Krempaszky cousin for replying when I reached out and conceding that Great-Granddad Gaydos identified with Jews in the Soviet Union, albe cryptically, for a reason).

 

נצחיה בת אביגדור הלוי צהרנצקי 

(Nicole Czarnecki)

PS Even though it is actually the eighth day of Sukkot on the Biblical calendar today, Hamas (ימ״ש) and their supporters (ימ״ש) still tried to take away the simchat Torah. Sabras and olim were thankfully able to fight back, although the pain that Hamas (ימ״ש) and their supporters (ימ״ש) caused will have ripple effects for at least a generation—even among Jews like me whom are not recognized as Jewish by fellow Jews.

PPS I prefer to render my surname as “צהרנצקי”, as it’s closer to the “Zernetzky”/“Chernetski”/“Czerniecki” that we were forced to take (and corrupted to “Czarniecki” and variants thereof to conceal our Jewish heritage).