Commentary: Yes, She Was Around Him. What May Have Happened If She Weren't May Have Been Worse. Ask Salma Hayek, For Example

With Harvey Weinstein finally being held to account for the various rapes and other acts of sexual abuse that he committed, so, too, are his victims being held accountable...for being abuse victims.

For example (and being a survivor of childhood abuse, although thankfully not childhood sexual abuse, I had to reply when one person held Harvey Weinstein's victims accountable for something that they did not do):

Look more closely at the pictures. Rose McGowan and Meryl Streep, e.g., are clearly not comfortable being around Harvey Weinstein.

— N.V. Mara Czarnecki (@Nickidewbear) January 6, 2020

A common fallacy is, "If (s)he's around him (her), (s)he must not really be being abused." Many abuse victims stay around their abusers because they are Stockholmed and/or they dread what might happen if they don't.

— N.V. Mara Czarnecki (@Nickidewbear) January 6, 2020

Being an abuse victim is not a choice or in any other way something that an abuse victim does. After all, for instance, nobody chooses to be sexually abused or have their kneecaps broken, let alone have their taken altogether for that matter (as if rape isn't its own form of murder):

"“He told me he wanted to kill me,” Hayek told Winfrey. “He said to Julie Taymor [the director of ‘Frida’], ‘I am going to break the kneecaps of that ‘c-word’.”" (Brackets in the original)

"I had brainwashed myself into thinking that it was over and that I had survived; I hid from the responsibility to speak out with the excuse that enough people were already involved in shining a light on my monster. I didn’t consider my voice important, nor did I think it would make a difference...

"I don’t think he hated anything more than the word “no.” The absurdity of his demands went from getting a furious call in the middle of the night asking me to fire my agent for a fight he was having with him about a different movie with a different client to physically dragging me out of the opening gala of the Venice Film Festival, which was in honor of “Frida,” so I could hang out at his private party with him and some women I thought were models but I was told later were high-priced prostitutes.

"The range of his persuasion tactics went from sweet-talking me to that one time when, in an attack of fury, he said the terrifying words, “I will kill you, don’t think I can’t.”" 

Even Salma Hayek fell for the "Since I was around him, I wasn't really being abused" fallacy in light of all that, however:

"I had to say yes. By now so many years of my life had gone into this film. We were about five weeks into shooting, and I had convinced so many talented people to participate. How could I let their magnificent work go to waste?
"I had asked for so many favors, I felt an immense pressure to deliver and a deep sense of gratitude for all those who did believe in me and followed me into this madness. So I agreed to do the senseless scene."

She recognized this:

"It was soul crushing because, I confess, lost in the fog of a sort of Stockholm syndrome, I wanted him to see me as an artist: not only as a capable actress but also as somebody who could identify a compelling story and had the vision to tell it in an original way."

With the fallacy being, "(S)he wasn't being abused by him (her), or else she wouldn't be around him (her), the actual case is, "(S)he continues to be around him (her) because (s)he's Stockholmed and/or in dread of what (s)he might or will do."

If Rose McGowan's, Meryl Streep's, and Salma Hayek's cases don't convince you of that, look at the cases of Jerry Sandusky's victims (whom were male victims of a male abuser and, even though they are survivors, will never fully recover from what was done to them in this lifetime—and what sexual-abuse victim, especially any rape victim, ever really recovers from the abuse that she or he has to endure?).

If not even the cases of Jerry Sandusky's victims convince you, look at those of Michael Jackson's victims (notwithstanding that the cases of Wade Robson and one other person are apparently questionable). If not even those cases convince you, go back to looking at cases of male-against-female abuse and start with the case of Andrea Constand (By the way, yes, Bill Cosby also abused children, as then-teenager victims of his were obviously teenagers and obviously therefore children—and one of them was Nicolle Rochelle, whom was actually a preteen when she first had to be around him).

Either way, your choice to believe or disbelieve sexual-abuse (and other abuse) victims whom continue to be around their abusers will not change the fact that sexual-abuse (and other abuse) victims continue to be around their abusers because they've been Stockholmed and/or threatened within every inch of their lives by those whom'd they'd otherwise gladly escape. 

#ThursdayThoughts: How Reilly Helps—And Tests!—"Momma"'s Sanity, and Other Thoughts

PS Absolutely no Reillys were harmed in the making of this video. The Reilly in this video just hates looking at the camera—which can actually exacerbate "Momma"'s OCD/Anxiety when she gently has to turn her little face toward the camera!

How To Downplay Ableism & Sexual Violence Against Especially Women With Mental Illnesses: Be Like the "Boston Globe", Among Others

With the none-too-surprising allegations against Dr. Keith Albow coming out in the news, Dr. Ablow reminds us of two facts:

1) Those with disabilities, such as mental illnesses, are more likely to be victims of sexual and non-sexual abuse than the general population is.

2) There are people whom either:

a)  go into the mental-health field and become ableists & abusers of those with mental illnesses

or

b) went into the mental-health field to exploit people with mental illnesses in the first place

The "Boston Globe", meanwhile, harbors that same kind of ableism against especially women with mental illnesses, as their the headline is misleading & should be something like, "‘I own you’: Prominent psychiatrist accused of raping patients and sexually exploiting other patients in other ways".

As for Andrea Celenza, she is among those whom also harbor those sentiments. Even though she clearly does not care to admit that, her statement obviously has those glaring sentiments in it:

"Andrea Celenza, a Lexington psychoanalyst who interviewed the women and reviewed their medical records as an expert witness hired by the plaintiffs, said in a letter filed with the lawsuits that Ablow’s behavior in the case of the New York woman “was sadomasochistic, anti-therapeutic, and constitutes a perverse use of his status and power.” The former patient said that, during their seven-year sexual relationship, Ablow persuaded her to get his initials tattooed on her arm."

Also:

"Celenza, in her letter to the women’s attorney, said Ablow’s alleged sexual misconduct with the Minnesota woman amounted to “the most egregious violation” of the American Psychiatric Association’s ethical code. “These behaviors are grossly unprofessional and unethical,” she said, adding that they “represent the worst and most damaging kind of abuse” in a therapeutic setting. 

If she did not actually agree with Dr. Ablow and the "Boston Globe" themselves, each of letters would contain unequivocal statements that Dr. Ablow's behavior was unethical as well as immoral, illegal, and unfaithful to the Hippocratic Oath, sadistic (not "sadomasochistic"), abusive in general (not just "anti-theraputic"), and general as well as specifically-ableist sexual abuse and non-sexual abuse (not "constitutes a perverse use of his status and power", as "constitutes a perverse use of his status and power" implies that his victim had some amount of complicity in what he did as well as that it "[only] constitutes" and isn't wholly a categorical abuse of status and power).

As for society in general, it needs to ask itself how and why it enables, outright encourages, and outright engages in—as NAMI calls ableism for what it is—ableist "discrimination, not stigma". After all, society affects and effects ableism to increasingly prevalent and severe as it, for example:

1. Tries every damned way to get around the ADA and HIPPA
2. Uses people with disabilities in of themselves as targets of "jokes" and other thinly-disguised abuse
3. Making light of disabilities by coining terms such as "libtard" as well as classifying evils such as sociopathy and narcissism as mental illnesses—which, by the way, sociopaths and narcisstics love, as it enables them to abuse especially people with real mental illnesses by affecting them to not be taken seriously when they seek mental-health treatment.
4. Ultimately affecting and effecting the creation of ableists from people such as Dr. Ablow all the way to the typical man (usually man, though sometimes woman) whom has a child with a disability and thus ableistically abandons and/or otherwise abuses his (or her) family (and yes, abandoning your family because you don't want a child with a disability is abuse).

A Reminder From Reilly and "Momma"

Commentary: Plainly Abusive Or Not-Entirely-Willingly Abusive?

Truth be told, people like the abusive person in this video may truly love their partners and are nonetheless abusing them and themselves by doing something for which the partners may need to take the hard step of leaving them: refusing to get treatment for mental illnesses if they can get that treatment.

In the video, the abusive person has Alcoholism for which he is clearly not getting treatment, although he can treatment for Alcoholism. Other mental illnesses which unfortunately can effect people to abuse other people include Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia: when people are in the throes of untreated mental illnesses like that, they're not even aware of what they're doing. According to the Mayo Clinic re Bipolar Disorder alone, "Despite the mood extremes, people with bipolar disorder often don't recognize how much their emotional instability disrupts their lives and the lives of their loved ones and don't get the treatment they need.".

Sometimes, then, the abused partners have to leave and say to their abusive partners something like, "I will come back if you seek the mental-health treatment that you need, and I will be fully supportive of you as you undergo the mental-health treatment. I cannot continue to let you hurt me and, ultimately, hurt yourself, and the only way that you can begin to heal yourself and mend the ties that you have cut is to acknowledge that you have a mental illness and get help for yourself."