"Meanwhile on the kosher subject," As I Opined On Geraldo Rivera's Facebook Page...

"[K]osher is expensive; but if Romney cut out exclusively kosher, one can still have an exclusively-kosher meal without everything around being exclusively kosher. For example, when the Kosher Korner at UMBC is closed, I try to choose items that are kosher within the mixed kosher and treif menu at UMBC-- in other words, I try to avoid the treif items on purpose. Besides, the Debbie Schlussels (on the Far Right) and George Soroses (on the Far Left) are the ones propagating that Mitt Romney's an Anti Semite, etc.; so the "Romney cut the kosher" bubbe meise probably came from either a Schlusselite or a Sorosite."

I Need To Find the Man For Me Before I Go Insane....

To put the situation generously, I have an immature sister and a mom who can't accept her part in everything-- after all, she's the one who would send us to visit an abusive Dad by court order, instead of defying the court order for the moral good. Now that she's dealing with quite a bit of the fallout of at least 10 years (1996-2006; and it's been only five years, a month, and a few weeks since we stopped seeing Dad), she continues to say, "I would've been in contempt of court." You can't accept accountability; can you, Mom?

As for my sister, the only reason that I'm not blogging about her is because she threatened to tell Mom if I did (Real mature!). As I said, I need to find the man for me before I go insane to:

1. Get away from Mom and my sister.
2. Have someone provide for me. 
3. Have independence within the context of how much I can be independent, and independent within the context of a stable marriage and household.
4. Not have to commit suicide.
5. Not have to deal with any part of Mom's part of her own fallout of her lifestyle choices. She, not my sister and I, made the choices that got her to having an abusive husband-turned-ex husband and being a divorced-single mom to my sister and me.

The list goes on. Pray that G-d sends the man for me soon.

I Wonder Why I Bother Sometimes...

Suicide looks better. Firstly, I'd be in Heaven (I'm a Christian, so I know where I'm by-grace going.), and I wouldn't have to wait for the Rapture. Secondly, Mom, Michelle, and others (including many who'd like to see me dead and/or never really cared, anyway) would be left to pick up the mess that I leave behind. Also, for what being more known in death than life is worth, I'd be more known in death than life-- I even prewrote my own obituary in case something does happen to me, though (G-d willing) I might have to go back and edit it. At least an obituary, a Facebook, a Twitter, and other updates, and other ways of communication are coverage.

Thirdly, I'm a survivor of a suicide attempt from when I was eight to ten years old. Long story short, after I foolishly erased my Pokemon game on the advice of a "friend", I threatened to stab myself-- with the knife in my hand. I chickened out and put the knife down and away from me.

Fourthly, I'm the survivor of a suicide threat-- I ended up at Sheppard Pratt for that threat, and quite a few of my dad's family don't believe what happened even though the Sheppard Pratt incident finally helped provoke the courts to believe what happened. Fifthly, as I've implied, I'm more disliked than liked for good and bad; and as I said, others would be left to pick up the mess that I leave behind. For some of them, picking up my mess would be pure punishment and judgement against them.

I could go on; but as an endnote, I also consider that children in the Third World segments of the human population have a fate better than mine (since they get, for example, plenty of reward in Heaven and not as much judgement because of what they've suffered and because of the "to whom much is given" standard-- including the age of accountability implication). Sexual abuse victims even also have a better fate than mine because some of them parallel (and sometimes even are) the children in the Third World-- they get sympathy and people who'll help them at some point and juncture, some reward in Heaven just for their suffering alone, etc..

With me; my situation's like, who the hell (including my own church) cares (or really or ultimately cares) about a 'mamzerah' Messianic Jew with Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety/Depression, and mild-enough Cerebral Palsy that she can (seemingly) get by?

Reform Judaism, As Covered By Others, Apostately Allows Eugenics...

GeoAsher023 on YouTube and Masada2000.org (among others and myself) have rightly pointed out that Reform Judaism and even parts (if not all) of Talmud Bavli are koferim-- apostate. For example, from the URJ website:

1. "Knowing more about these serious genetic conditions, as well as the availability of screening for these disorders, will empower young adults in the Jewish community to become proactive in their family planning and may avert the anxiety surrounding prenatal carrier screening or the need to make a potentially heart-wrenching decision [e.g., abortion] during pregnancy. "
   
   (http://urj.org//about/union/governance/reso//?syspage=article&item_id=1894). 
2.   "Reform Judaism understands the original position of the Talmud wherein is described the notion that an abortion should be performed only for the sake of the life of the mother, and even as late as the moment before the head of a baby emerges from the birth canal. However, Reform goes beyond this narrowly defined period and gives sanction to its members (and all others for that matter) to elect to terminate a pregnancy when confronting other circumstances: as... when through genetic testing, it is determined that the child to be born will have a disease that will cause death or severe disability, and the parents believe that the impending birth will be an impossible situation for them; and other circumstances." (http://urj.org/ask/questions/abortion/)

"[T]o elect to terminate a pregnancy when confronting... through genetic testing, it is determined that the child to be born will have a disease that will cause death or severe disability, and the parents believe that the impending birth will be an impossible situation for them" is avoda kofer. There is nothing ever okay about aborting a child, especially when " it is determined that the child to be born will have a disease that will cause death or severe disability, and the parents believe that the impending birth will be an impossible situation for them".

To abort is a violation of tikun ha'olam for several reasons, including for the reasons that an innocent life is taken via eugenic abortion and a couples' potential option to adopt is taken from them.

To Lose All This Weight Is Going To Be Hard...

5'1.75" and 128.5 pounds. Just pray for me.