And When I First Saw This, I Was Thinking...

Doesn't Darby Conley realize that he has a Jewish cousin? I'm serious—my maternal granddad (Francis "X." Allen)'s paternal grandmother was Margaret Conley Allen. I don't know how distant the connection is, by the way; but it's there somehow. Remember that Gaelicer folks are part of clans (That's just how that works.).

By the way, I just found out what her surname was (Finally!) a while ago.

I Told You That Something Stinks...

There is  too much coincidence for there to be a coincidence if you ask me. Adam Danilowicz abandoned his sons and married Caroline nee Grabowska in Luzerne County, and he was related to Katarzyna Danilowiczowna Czerniecka? And Katarzyna was the in-law daughter of a Kruszynska, and Rywa Krusznyska in Suwalki married Josel Grabowski in Suwalki? Also, a Wierzbinski married an Andrulewiczowna, and the Andrulewiczes and Danilowiczes are somehow related by blood?

Give me a break. "Coincidence" meir tuchus. Some in my family, at PolishForums, etc. can try to play with me, and I am not stupid. The story unravels more amazingly than I thought! I told you we're Jewish. I told you that I figured out that Great-Great-Granddad Julian's parents were married Roman Catholic in Mackowa Ruda in order to secure their freedom from being peasants, and that they left for Lipsk and returned to Judaism once they could!
"Szlachta" meir tuchus! As I said, some in my family, at PolishForums, etc. have tried to play a not-so-stupid person. Mazel tov to them; they have failed! 

Just because I don't fit someone's (for a lack of a better term) "Jew mold" doesn't mean that I'm not a Jew! As I told a friend, in order for me to be a Jew to them, I would have to have a fully-Jewish mom or have converted to Judaism. It still pisses me off. I even had my dad take an autosomal DNA test to prove that we're Jews.

It is important because I'd like to make aliyah someday and I could get accused of being a Pole posing as a Jew. People have already spread rumors that I'm not a Jew. I've even seen on my blog search feed that people have searched "nickidewbear not jewish". The lie that's probably going around in any case is that I'm a Slavic American descended from Slavic Catholics and szlachta, and that I'm posing as a Jewish American who's descended from Crypto Jews. If the rumors were true, I'd rightly be in trouble. Isn't that my family lied to me for years enough? Well, I'm either lying or I'm not, and the rumor is that I am lying. As I said, isn't that my family lied to me enough? I don't need to be lied to and about further.

I literally feel like Geraldo Rivera—who was lied about by an Anti-Semitic disc jockey who claimed that he was a Jew named Jerry Rivers and posing a Puerto Rican to take advantage of affirmative action—and that dad who was told that his part in his children's creation did not count—"How can you convert to what you are? Do I have to take a DNA test to prove you are my children?"

As I said, I had Dad take a DNA test. It shows West Asian, "Caucus", and Iberian (Sephardic) DNA! And I have the records, etc.. What more do I need?

Why Being Married As A Catholic "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" Does Not Exclude Julian's Parents From Being Jews

• For one matter, the first ban was on the 15th. The second and third banns were on the 22nd. In Jewish tradition, the bride and groom do not see each other for a week prior to marrying.
• The second or third bann may have been a ketubah.
• According to Webster's, banns are "public announcement[s] especially in church of a proposed marriage".
• They may have been Anusim who reverted to Judaism or passed as Catholic to marry, since Mackowa Ruda was small enough not be noted on JewishGen or have a chief "rabbi". According to GoMapper, its population is "very small".
• Anusim or passers would, according to Jewish Virtual Library, observe vestiges of halakhah to some extent.
• "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" were names used within the Jewish community.
• Even names like "Paul" (e.g., Pawel) were very common in the Jewish community. See, e.g., JewFAQ [Caution: it is an Anti-Messianic website, but good for understanding the Non- and Anti-Messianic perspectives, minhagim, and nusachim].

There are other reasons as well.

Nickidewbear

Nickidewbear originally shared this [without linked-to references]

7 minutes ago story

See more at http://www.polishforums.com/free-translation-42/someone-translate-marriage-certificate-69780/ for more.tim

Maczkovecz...Definitely Jewish; Just Trying To Break It Down

"Maczko":

from maka ‘flour’ [See "Monk"], presumably a metonymic occupational name for a miller or a nickname for someone with a very pale complexion.nickname from a diminutive of mak ‘poppy’.

"Macko":

Macko Name Meaning

Polish (Macko), Ukrainian, and Slovak: from a pet form of Polish Maciej, Slovak Matej, or some other Slavic form of Matthew.

"Mattityahu" (מתתיהו) is originally Hebrew.

So, the Maczkoveczes (Mackovecs, etc.) were either "Millersons" or "Matthewsons"—basically, "of Matthew" or "bnei-Mattityahu" (בני מתתיהו). "Vec" or "vecz" ("vec" Magyarized or Polonized) means:

vec-noun
	thing	model, predmet, detail, maličkosť, záležitosť, vec
	affair	aféra, záležitosť, vec
	matter	záležitosť, vec, veci, predmet, hmota, obsah
	issue	dôsledok, otázka, predmet sporu, sporný bod, sporná otázka, vec
	cause	príčina, dôvod, vec, súdny spor
	business	obchod, priemysel, podnikanie, povinnosť, zamestnanie, vec
	job	zadanie, pracovisko, ťažká práca, zamestnanie, robota, vec
	item	položka, poznámka, bod, vec, jednotka, článok
	object	predmet, vec, objekt, cieľ, zámer, účel
	question	otázka, vec, problém, pochybnosť
	concern	vec, záležitosť, záujem, znepokojenie, koncern, firma
	care	starostlivosť, starosť, opatrnosť, dohľad, pozornosť, vec
	article	predmet, tovar, vec, kus, článok, bod
	piece	kus, kúsok, časť, diel, vec, jeden
	entity	vec, objekt, celok, bytie, teleso, podstata
	gizmo	vec, vynález, vymoženosť
vec-preposition
	re	vec, vo veci

So, basically, we're—unless we're "Millersons"—sons of Matthew or "things of Matthew" (Nice! In all seriousness, Jews didn't always get desirable names.). I don't know whether this Matthew was one in the Diaspora or even מתתיהו התלמיד himself (if מתתיהו התלמיד had any children, and any children that stayed in or reverted to Non-Messianic Judaism. On the other hand, they could have been children who were Messianic and became part of the lost tribes and/or completely assimilated and absorbed, since I know of no Messianic lines that have been fully Messianic since the time of התלמידים ושליחים.). He could've even been מתתיהו המכבי, but this is doubtful.

By the way, I had to play around with Google Translate, take Hebrew 101, etc. to get the Hebrew. I am not translating this for you; so, look it up and/or otherwise learn it for yourself—to do so is the best way to learn it for yourself. I grant that some would say, "Well, didn't you have people teach you and otherwise help you learn?" כן, and I had to—עם עזרת וחן יהוה— be a willing תלמידה.

Remembering When, Part Ten

I have been quite busy and unable to write the memoir for some time—and now when I write, I am looking back on what I have previously written. Part of what I wanted to include in this next part is a Yad Vashem Page of Testimony for my Great-Granduncle Bernie, and that is part of what I was doing in the past couple of days—that is, submitting a form for him. Great-Granduncle Bernie's story heavily factors in his brother Anthony's and in-law-sister Mary's story—in fact, it's probably part of why Great-Granddad committed suicide.

As I wrote, Great-Grandma was not treated well. As I also wrote, the disabled were also not treated well—and Great-Granduncle Bernie certainly was not. In fact, I should have scanned in that stupid letter from the Department of Veterans' Affairs—hello, DVA—with all due respect, I am Great-Granduncle Bernie's "next of kin"!

As you have figured out by now, Great-Granduncle Bernie was a disabled and disrespected veteran—and two of his primary disrespecters gave Pop-Pop an idea for what to do to Great-Grandma. Ironically enough (or perhaps not so ironically), one of his disrespecters was a fellow Jewish war veteran—and none other than Staff Sergeant Joseph Paschal Czarnecki, Sr. (and I am not sorry, Charmaine and Courtney—I am not skating around that fact for your sakes. As I have stated, I will certainly talk about your dad and granddad since I talked about your uncle and granduncle Tony—and if you did not get the memo by now, let me remind you that I did not skate around any facts for your cousin Greg's maternal side, either.).

The other of the two aforementioned primary disrespecter was duty shirker John Felix Czarnecki (By the way, can you guess for whom Pop-Pop got his name—and even became like? In this case, a name does mean something in terms of character.). At least to his credit, however, Great-Granduncle John (who was born in 1913 and could have easily served during World War Two) shirked his duty to do so—at least he did not sign up and tarnish any service by what he did to his brother Bernie.

"'It's a shame what they did to Bernie.'" Granduncle Tony recalled hearing this at Great-Granduncle Bernie's funeral—and darned right that it's a shame. The self-loathing Jewish veteran and his self-loathing brother decided to take advantage of a Holocaust victim—namely, their fellow veteran Private First Class Bernard S. "Bernie" Czarnecki. How Great-Granddad could live with this is part of why I stated that he probably factored it into his suicide—after all, his youngster brother died on July 16, 1963; and he died on December 2, 1964 (almost a year and a quarter of a year after his brother succumbed to his Nazi-inflicted wounds).

Great-Granduncle Bernie signed up in Kingston, Pennsylvania on February 17, 1941 to serve in the 111th Infantry Division Medical Corps of the United States Army, having previously signed up on December 12, 1940. While Great-Granduncle Bernie was in combat, a Nazi bastard fired off some shrapnel that went into his head (whether the Nazi bastard directly or indirectly murdered Great-Granduncle Bernie, I do not know. All I know is the obvious—that it sure was not friendly fire, and that whoever murdered Great-Granduncle Bernie was a Nazi whether he was officially a Nazi, an Italian Nazi collaborator, or another European who collaborated with the Nazis.).

An operation to remove the shrapnel from Great-Granduncle Bernie's head failed—and that was the beginning of the end for Great-Granduncle Bernie.Great-Granduncle Bernie was confined to the Veterans' Home and Hospital and Lebanon, Pennsylvania for the rest of his life—from his discharge on December 12, 1945 to when he finally succumbed to his Nazi-inflicted wounds. He could never marry and have children, and was very childlike himself—he even would, for example, buy hot dogs for Granduncle Tony and his other nephews (and his nieces) if Great-Grandma said, "No." (It was basically, "If Mom says 'No.', ask Uncle Bernie."—and children will be children, and at least "Uncle Bernie" was not one of those gone-deranged mentally-disabled veterans.).

His widowed sister, Alexandria Alice Czarnecki Dombroski, took care of him by, for instance, setting up a Social Security account for him—and she would get the benefits from the Social Security account when he died. After all, she was a widowed mother and had already taken care of everyone else in her life—she was now stepping up to take care of Great-Granduncle Bernie (once again; as she had helped her mother do so when Julian Czarnecki died—when Bernie was only two years of age—, and as she had done when her mother died on April 6, 1936—when Bernie was only 16 years of age).

Great-Granduncles John and Joe cajoled Great-Granduncle Bernie into signing away the account from their sister Alice, and the benefits went to them when he died. Again, "'It's a shame what they did to Bernie.'" It's also a shame what they did to Alice.

Honestly, nobody should have been surprised that Great-Granddad Czarnecki would commit suicide after that—living with what "Johnkie" and "Suzy" did to "Bernie" would have alone driven someone to commit suicide, and that Great-Grandaunt Alice was not the one who committed suicide is amazing. After all, how could one live in a callous world in which Jews loathed themselves, took advantage of a Jewish war veteran and Holocaust victim, and left widows and left-alone mothers who had already taken care of so many people bereft?

Remembering When, Part Nine

Sometimes, I get too lazy to write because of—among other issues—post-baclofen-pump-surgery muscle pain (as I have discussed as part of the reason for my delay in finishing this memoir) and schoolwork (At this point, as I have been told, I will be the first of Grandma's and Pop-Pop's grandchildren to graduate from college—and I expect, or at least hope, to graduate on December 20, 2013.). So, let me take one more detour. However, let me detour on the way back to Great-Granddad Czarnecki's and Great-Grandma Czarnecki's story by giving more background about it—and while some of this background giving maybe be background regiving, it will nonetheless help you to understand the next part of the story.

 I honestly grew up even being handed that we were related to Stefan Czarniecki and that Great-Grandma Czarnecki was Lithuanian (she was a the daughter of Polish-Slovakian-Hungarian Anusim Mihaly Trudnyak [the son of Mihaly Trudnyak, Sr. and Maria Nagyova Trudnyakova] and Anna Munkova Trudnyakova [the daughter of Samuel and Rosalia Korschova Munka])! I had no clue what the real story was! I was told that Great-Granddad 

1. Came here alone (and not when he was two and escaping the pogroms as an Anusi with his Anusit mother, part of the Andrulevicus [Andrulewicz, etc.] and Morgovich [Morgiewicz, etc.] families. They came here to join his dad, who had already come here once illegally. Of course, they lived as Anusim to avoid Anti Semitism in America; and Northeastern Pennsylvania was somehow the place to do so. Of course, his cousin Jacob Androlowicz did identify as a Jewish war veteran, and he was buried in a Catholic cemetery—the Andrulevicuses were a mix of open Jews and Anusim, Non-Messianic and Messianic Jews.).
2. Married Mary Trudnak (who was actually named for her grandmother—as my aunt Mary was for her grandmothers—and not for Mary the mother of Jesus! Long story short, we have Sephardic heritage concerned somewhere; or at least we adopted a mix of Ashkenazi and Sephardi minhagim—and Grandma did name "Mary Joan" for her mother [Mary Rusnak Gaydos, whose paternal grandma was Marysia Novakova Rusznakova] and herself [Joan Gaydos Czarnecki]—and we used "Maria" and "Marysia" as variants of "Maryam". In fact, Aunt Mary was honestly the first Mary on the Czernecki/Chernetski/Czarnecki side.].)
3. Served in Korea (which he never did or could).
4. Died of Black Lung (instead of his newspaper-worthy suicide).

He did work in the coal mines, to be fair, but the Black Lung wasn't what killed him. Of course, I didn't question or research until I was much older. The Czernecki side is the side on which I'm focusing on for the memoir, meanwhile—and I've gotten relatives angry over finding all this out and talking about this, but (as Great-Grandma told Aunt Mary) I want to talk about it (and may she rest in peace—and I myself remember her as a loving, kind, frail woman—I only knew why she was so frail after she died and I talked to Aunt Mary and others—Great-Granddad and others did not treat her well for at least 73 years [She applied for a marriage license on May 10, 1934—she never got it signed. I have no clue how her parents were, but her two brothers' divorces and how she was attracted to Great-Granddad may indicate something—I can't say, though. A cousin said that they identified as Slovakian Catholics, though—they seemed okay enough, though, from what I can tell. At least they raised Great-Grandma well—Mom even recalls that, when she knew her, she had the Old Country charm—even though she was born in Ashley, Pennsylvania! And, as I said, she was a loving, kind, frail woman—she even loved me and Dad's cousin Jamie, and the disabled aren't looked upon too well in our family.).

By the way, I can say that Great-Grandma's passing and what it brought about was what really got me questioning and researching, now that I think about it.

Remembering When, Part Eight

I have to detour again to talk about the Foczko-Rusznak experience, so that you can get an idea of what my Czarnecki great-grandparents' experience was like in contrast to the Foczko-Rusznak one. By the way, Jacob Androlowicz—who will be mentioned in the following anecdote—was an Andrulevicus (Andrulewicz) cousin of Great-Granddad Czarnecki—remember that Great-Granddad Czarnecki's mother was Alexandria Alice Andrulewicz Czarnecki.

Tablet Magazine recently asked, "Have you or your relatives served in the military? What were your/their experiences serving as Jews?" I answered, "Yes, my relatives did serve. Only one identified as a Jew. We were Anusim—some of us even became Messianic, although we still hid our Jewishness—and the only one who had חוצפה טובה [hutzpah tovah] to identify as Jewish was Jacob Androlowicz. However, one (Staff Sergeant Andy Rusnak, z"l) chose to get cremated and have his ashes interred at his parents' gravesite—he also had a memorial service, and no viewing—he must've felt guilty that his elder sister (my dad's maternal grandma) was responsible for sending our relatives to Auschwitz (It's a long story that makes me want to vomit and still be angry at her.), and that he felt that he couldn't do anything to save his cousins."

I already discussed the awful Foczko-Rusznak debacle in which Great-Grandma Gaydos and her dad entangled us by refusing to write to relatives who asked for help. I should add, incidentally, that a cousin who did survive also got himself cremated when he died in 2006—he felt guilty about surviving. Again, I do not blame Great-Grandma's brothers or the other Foczkos for what she, as a Foczko Rusznak, did—and since her dad was a Rusznak, the responsibility fell on him as a Rusznak to help fellow Rusznaks. The Foczkos were in hiding or somewhere else by then (as, and as you will see below, there is a notable gap between the birth of Jozef Foczko to his Hanzok cousin Aurelia. Also, according to Cemetery.sk, a Jozsef Focko died on September 26, 1941—and you can bet that he did not just die.). Furthermore, a Novak cousin—Leopold Novak—was left abandoned in a mine in which he died in 1936—so, Anti Semitism was touching the Foczko and Rusznak families even before the Nazis invaded Czechoslovakian and Hungarian Slovakia. 

By the way, the translation of Leopold Novak's death cause—according to Google Translate—is as follows—and the cause is listed as "Zasypaný hlinou pri práci v opustenom kameňolome v Zlatej Idke.":

"Peppered with dirt while working in an abandoned quarry in Zlatá Idka."

"Peppered" can also read "Buried", "Buried in", "Off buried", or "Strewn". "[W]ith dirt", meanwhile, can read "the clay"or "with clay". So, the idea is that Leopold was attacked then left abandoned in the mine quarry.

As for Great-Granddad and Great-Grandma Czarnecki, meanwhile and while you are asking, I will get back to their story in the next chapter—I apologize for having to continue to detour like this.

Remembering When, Part Seven

Looking back over what I have written, I see that I have given the impression that (for one matter) I need a ghostwriter and (for another matter) I am not a skilled author as is one such as the late F. Scott Fitzgerald (from whom I borrow the words "Looking...impression that"). Then again, unlike him, I am not making up a story based on life—I am telling a story that I could not have made up in even my wildest dreams. With the truth being told (besides that much of it has already been told), I did not know my own family's story—especially not my Czarnecki side's story.

As I talked about before I detoured over to some of Grandma's story, I was not told the real Czarnecki story at all. Let me go back to the part in which my great-grandparents were getting married, then, to explain exactly how much I did not know. I had no idea that Great-Granddad was a Jew who lived the majority of his life in Sugar Notch, Pennsylvania before he met Sugar Notch native Mary Trudniak—and I did not even know who Miss Trudniak's parents were.

The story that I had been told was this: a Pole named Anthony Czarnecki came over to the United States by himself, married Mary Trudnak, worked in the coal mines, served in the Korean War, had Black Lung, and died when Dad was 12 years old. We were also Lithuanian, presumably through Great-Grandma Czarnecki. Nothing came up about a young Anusi illegal immigrant whose parents told lie after lie on Census, naturalization, and other records to protect their Jewish identity. Nothing came up about Great-Grandma being a Hungarian-Slovakian-Polish Jew or about Great-Granddad being the one who was Lithuanian, let alone actually a Litvaker-Poliysher Yid.

Nothing came up about Great-Granddad falling in love with a believing Jewish woman and getting her pregnant—and nothing came up about the fact that the priest at the Sugar Notch church refused to marry Anthony Czarnecki and Mary Trudniak. Nothing else after that came up.

When any of the family story came up, the story was—again—that Anthony Czarnecki came over to the United States by himself, married Mary Trudnak, worked in the coal mines, served in the Korean War, had Black Lung, and died when Dad was 12 years old. Who knew that, for example, Pop-Pop was not actually Anthony and Mary Trudniak Czarnecki's first child? Who knew that Mary Trudniak Czarnecki had lost that baby two days after he was born? Who knew that Granduncle Tony was named for the lost baby 12 years after he was born? None of us great-grandchildren did—and even Aunt Mary did not know until she talked to Great-Grandma, and one can therefore presume that none of the other grandchildren knew.

As a Fosko cousin would say after he found the marriage license for me, "The return was not filed by the priest or minister, so [there was] no date or minister name to prove marriage took place"—and the Fosko cousin forgot to mention, at least in that specific comment (which is dated June 6, 2008 and is still on my Ancestry.com family tree), that the priest refused to sign the license. If the priest had not refused to sign the license, the date of the marriage and the priest's name would be there.

Also, the license filing—not the wedding—was on May 10, 1934. Furthermore (and you are welcome to do the math as I did), Pop-Pop was not born until May 25, 1936. Since Pop-Pop was conceived around August 25, 1935, two-and-a-quarter years and two weeks passed by to his conception from his parents' marriage-license filing. 

When Great-Grandma gave birth and lost her first child, she was obviously in no mood or capacity to try to conceive another child, let alone Pop-Pop, for at least six weeks—and had she known what the second child whom she would conceive would become, she may have even skipped trying to conceive him (After all, she did not remarry after Great-Granddad died—and continue to keep in mind that Pop-Pop made Granduncle Tony dread him for very-legitimate reasons, because Pop-Pop turned out like his dad and even still gives one an idea of whom Great-Grandma dreaded marrying all over again!).

So (and, as I challenged, you can do the math as I did), the real story was hidden from us great-grandchildren and even the grandchildren because the facts added up to a chillul Yehovah that had a heck of a backstory to it—that is, a Crypto-Jewish illegal immigrant who became a Polish-American Vaticanist married a Jewish Catholic woman who he had impregnated, and the story continued from there.

By the way, you may have noted that I used "Catholic" in the insert to this memoir to refer to both Granduncle Tony's wife and Grandma. You may be thinking, therefore, "You used 'Catholic' for the New Israel Fund project, but you use 'Vaticanist' for the memoir. At the same time, you use 'Catholic' for the memoir. So, what is going on? Maybe you do need a ghostwriter!"

This is a case in which I do not need a ghostwriter, since I actually very deliberately chose my wording to make a point. "Catholic" is appropriate to use for actual Catholics ("Universalists") and for the New Israel Fund project (since New Israel Fund would not understand the nuances regarding "Vaticanist"). "Vaticanist", on the other hand, is appropriate to use for most "Catholics" (including Anusi "Catholics" such as Great-Granddad), since (as I learned from, of all places, Wikipedia) Vatican Hill is why The Vatican is called "The Vatican"—in other words (as one can quickly figure out if he or she at least skims over the Wikipedia entry about Vatican Hill or the one about The Vatican, or some related entry), The Vatican tried to replace the "holy hill" (Mount Zion) with Vatican Hill. Thus, "Vaticanists" are properly called such in light of Scripture verses such as the following (from Psalm 2):

"He that sittethin the heavens shall laugh : the Lord shall have them in derision . Then shall he speak unto them in his wrath, and vex them in his sore displeasure. Yet have I set my king upon my holy hill of Zion."

Also, most "Catholics" do not believe in Biblical inerrancy or infallibility, whereas actual Catholics do—and, thus, are actually part of the Catholic (again, "Universal") Church. By the way, Great-Grandma really was Catholic—as I myself remember her, she was a sweet woman who loved all of her descendants (including me and my dad's cousin Jamie, the son of Pop-Pop's brother Jim—and I have Cerebral Palsy, and Jamie is mentally disabled. She did not have to love me or Jamie, especially since being disabled in our family is being a shame to and within the family—and, as you will want to keep in mind, even the real story of how Jamie became disabled was hidden from me and the other great-grandchildren for years.). If Great-Grandma's love for her family (including, and perhaps especially, me and Jamie) did not show that she was a Catholic (at least if nothing else did), I do not know what did. 

You may have also noted that I used "P'rushi" ("Pharisee") and put terms such as "Rabbinate" in quotes. As with "Vaticanist" for "Catholic", I called "Rabbinate" for what it really is. As you may have figured out by now (at least if you know the New Testament really well), Matthew 23:8-10 (for example, "But be not ye called Rabbi...") becomes a lot more serious and pertinent to one like me when he or she has his eyes opened to his or her Jewish roots.

You might have furthermore noted that I used "Yehovah" instead of the P'rushi euphemisms such as "Adonai" and "HaShem". As Matthew 23:8-10 becomes a lot more serious and pertinent to one like me, what Scripture really calls God becomes a lot more serious and pertinent—even if (as in my case) the seriousness and pertinence are affected by evil men such as Nehemia Gordon, a so-called "Karaite" ("Qara'i", literally "Scripturalist"). As far as Nehemia Gordon is concerned, by the way, I went from wanting to learn as much as possible from Nehemia Gordon—even though he is Anti Messianic—to figuring out quickly who he was and wanting to never have anything to do with him again (and part of how I figured out who Nehemia really is has to do with the fact that I come from the family from which I come—and coming from that family entails dealing with and knowing, or at least having previously dealt with and coming to have a knowledge of, deceit and abuse of all kinds. By the way, see my YouTube video "Verbal Abuse From Nehemia Gordon And Evidence Thereof".).

Meanwhile, my family and our history (along with, among other matters, my dealings with Nehemia) prove that Genesis 50:20 and Romans 3:1-8 are also more serious and pertinent—and you will see all the more how that is the case as you continue to read this memoir. 

Remembering When, Insert (Not Part of the Memoir)

This was originally written for the New Israel Fund's "Taking Our Place" Project. It isn't part of the memoir, but it ties into it:

I don't understand how women (whether we're Messianic—e.g., Notzriot, I like am; or Lubavichiot, who boggle me with how they keep themselves out of Judaism—or Non Messianic) are kept of Judaism when women are often the ones who keep and/or rediscover the Jewishness in their families. I know that I'm one who actually rediscovered my family's roots (much to the chagrin of, and even with persecution from, quite a few of my family members), for example.

As for another instance, my great-great-grandmother Czernecki (who was of the Litvak-Poylisher "Andrulevicus"/"Andrulewicz" and "Morgevicus"/"Margiewicz" families) did everything to keep our Jewishness alive even when she, her husband, and her firstborn child (my dad's paternal granddad) became Anusim to survive the pogroms and to deal with Anti Semitism in the United States (where they had to go once their families were done with them and the other Anusim in the family). In fact, she totally flipped out when my great-granddad crushed her heart by marrying a Notzrit Jew whose parents were Anusim (She believed so thoroughly that her son was doing wrongly by marrying who she considered a koferet, she even drove my great-grandmom to almost have a breakdown.).

That same Notzrit, my great-grandmom, would follow her in-law mom's example when she stood by my great-granddad and voiced the objection of "She's Irish!" to my granduncle's marrying his Irish-American Catholic girlfriend (now his wife of over 40 years)—she wanted to see her sons marry girls with Jewish heritage (and my granddad did marry a Levite Catholic—my grandparents even named my aunt "Mary Joan" for their mothers and her mother in line with Sefardi minhag—since we do have some Sefardi heritage—, and in no way for the mother of Jesus).

Therefore, I'd be remiss to say that women ought to not be included in Judaism.

[Short Author Biography]

Nicole Czarnecki is a Patrilineal Levite who has Ashkenazi Jewish heritage on both sides of her family, and a bat-Anusim who discovered her parents' heritages (about which her dad didn't want her knowing, and about which her mom didn't know—and, sadly, doesn't care). She lives in the Diaspora and hopes to make aliyah if and when Notzrim like her will be able to do so under the Law of Return. Meanwhile, she invites you to find out more about her (including her family history) at http://www.about.me/nickidewbear.

"Remembering When", Part Six

I have been in back pain for a few days and have not been able to write. As I wrote (at least on my Stage32 wall), I had surgery in July and the pain is due that surgery—by the way, the pain has nothing to do with Johns Hopkins or any botching of any surgery (I wanted to mention that because I know that some people will make a comparison of me and my surgery to Geraldo Rivera's much-publicized recent back surgery that was botched by Health Specialty Services in New York—I am not comparing Johns Hopkins to Health Specialty Services in any way, shape, form, or whatever-else-have-you manner; nor am I even attempting to invite such comparisons.).

I also, as I recall (since I am not looking over what I have written so far right now), compared my back pain to Great-Granddad Czarnecki's pain that affected his eventual suicide. Before I get back to that (and I thought that I would, except that the back pain flared up again today—or, by Hebrew reckoning, yesterday), let me once again detour to the awful act that Great-Grandma Gaydos and Great-Great-Granddad Rusnak committed. I need to do so because I want to clear up that I blame only Great-Grandma Gaydos, Great-Great-Granddad Rusnak, and others in our family to whom Vilmos Rusnak and our other cousins in Slovakian Hungary wrote.

I have been accused of blaming Great-Grandma Gaydos' mother's family—the Foczkos—for what her dad's family (that is, she, her dad, and others on our side to whom Vilmos and his side wrote). Besides, I got to thinking about Juliana Foczkova Rusznakova (Julia Fosko Rusnak) when I heard of Nick Gillespe's comparisons of President Barack Obama to Hitler (Yemach shemo.)—and, because of the back pain and other issues, I am admittedly too lazy to go back to the story of my Czarnecki great-grandparents tonight. So, let me clarify here what I attempted to clarify on Twitter—as I was responding to the tweet from which about Nick Gillespe's comparison, and what I am about to say here are the exact words that I used on Twitter (which were, of course, originally broken up into separate tweets. Here, I also provide the actual picture to which I was referring instead of the link to it—and I repeat to my family that my use of the pictures is within my right to do, since I am part of the family and you did not copyright the pictures. 

(In fact, I will even note that I am the oldest child of the oldest child of Mary Rusnak Gaydos' oldest-surviving child who has children of his or her own at present—and I know how important hierarchy, rank, and status are to and within our family; so I am more than willing to assert familial privilege in order to make my case for my use of the pictures.

(Anyway—now that I have the familial and legal disclaimer out of the way):

I've seen others compare Barack Obama to Hitler (Yemach shemo.)—that's really going too far. I don't recall Obama committing ethnocide. Also, to compare anyone to Hitler (Yemach shemo.) without proof is insulting for those of us who lost relatives in the Holocaust. I will also concede that (at least in my family) some of us were just as sick as the Nazis (My stomach still is upset at that.). Also, as I've said, I don't know how Vilmosz's et. al.'s closer relatives forgive us—I don't. How could we have done that to them? By "we", I'm talking about my line—i.e., Mary Rusnak Gaydos and her dad (Her brothers, e.g., had nothing to do with it.).

I think that that's what may have bothered Great-Great-Grandma, too—i.e., how could her daughter and her husband do that when her sons were fighting to help people like their cousins? She died on July 5, 1945 at 58 years of age, by the way. I suspect that Isaiah 57:1-2 applied to her. 

She even (imperfectly) sent a brother away for committing adultery (As I said, imperfectly—that was unfortunately what was done in her day.). She also even refused to marry Great-Great-Granddad and come to America if she couldn't care for her widowed mother. Meanwhile, her brother Andras "Alexander" (the second-born son of Istvan and Johanna Hanzokova Foczko) stepped up to take his sister's place.

By the way, here is Great-Great-Grandma with her son Andy, since-deceased Staff Sergeant Andrew Louis Rusnak (WW2, Veteran)—who passed away on October 2, 2013, by the way (May the memory of Andrash HaLevi ben Andrash v'Aviva be a blessing.). Also, as far as Isaiah 57:1-2:

"The righteous perisheth , and no man layeth it to heart: and merciful men are taken away , none considering that the righteous is taken away from the evil to come. He shall enter into peace:they shall rest in their beds, each one walking in his uprightness."

Both Julia and her son Andy passed away as such at the respective times of their passings—she passed when deserved evil was getting ready to befall her husband (who died on February 9, 1947—and I do not know whether or not he ever repented of what he did to Vilmos' side of the family), and he (that is, her son Andy) passed when Alzheimer's Disease had taken him and thankfully left him unable to comprehend the tumultuous and evil times in which he had to live his last days (and may I and others join those who are asleep in Christ, the Messiah Jesus, soon). 

Remembering When, Part Five

Before I go back to my Czarnecki great-great-grandparents' story, I will quickly jump to the linchpin story that has defined Pop-Pop Czarnecki's in-law maternal family for generations—the story of how we absolutely betrayed relatives during the Holocaust and the explanation for why Grandma Czarnecki was attracted to someone like Pop-Pop in the first place—and given this story, you can say that my grandmother married the male equivalent of her mother.

Numbers 14:18 reads, "18 The LORD is longsuffering, and of great mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression,and by no means clearing the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the childrenunto the third and fourth generation." If part of that was not Grandma Czarnecki's marriage to Pop-Pop Czarnecki in her case, then nothing was—if God didn't curse Great-Grandma Gaydos by putting her daughter in a chaotic marriage to Jack Czarnecki, I do not know who He has ever cursed. Besides, Pop-Pop would betray his own mother in a similar and smaller-degree way to how Mary Rusnak Gaydos betrayed her cousins.

The story was couched as follows: relatives were just asking for money during the Depression and Great-Grandma Gaydos stopped writing to them when they did that, although she sent them food. The actual story is as follows—and for right now, I am summarizing the story; but I will tell the whole story when I jump back to it later. By the way, I was infuriated when I found Vilmos Rusznak's record on Yad Vashem and figured out what the real story was—I knew that the Rusnaks were Jewish, and I was looking to see if we lost any relatives in the Holocaust; and little did I know that I would find out what Joan Gaydos Czarnecki's sister MaryAnn Gaydos tried to hide, and what their niece Janet Lewandowski Rozzi would try to defend (By the way, Janet, morality does not have a time—and those were different times, alright, and your precious grandma made them worse! How dare you defend her! Also, I will keep naming names; so rest assured, Janet, that you are not alone in being named—neither are the two aforementioned of your mother's sisters.).

Our relatives wrote to ask for financial help, and they knew that we were worse off—given that the Depression hit the U.S. harder than it hit Slovakian Hungary—but they knew that whatever we could give would still help. They knew that even though we were hit harder and poorer, American currency meant a heck of a lot more than Hungarian or Slovakian currency, and we cut them off in their time of need—we stopped writing to them after they asked for help, and we never sent one bit of food.

Meanwhile, they didn't even want to write us—we were the absolute-last resort. We had converted out of Judaism just generations before; they did not, and they were desperately reaching out to whom they considered apostate. In doing what we did, we destroyed our testimony regarding Yeshua and destroyed our cousins' lives.

By the way, Great-Great-Granddad Rusnak paid dearly for his part in betraying his cousins (They wrote to Great-Grandma Gaydos' dad, their cousin Gyorgy "Gyorgy Kvetkovits" Rusznak's grandson, as well.):

Great-Great-Granddad Rusnak died shortly thereafter, on February 9, 1947—and he died of cancer at the age of 69. By the way, whether his brother Stef really survived him (if he even actually existed, since I cannot find a baptism record for him) is unclear—even Anusim and Messianic Jews were murdered in the Shoah, and Great-Great-Granduncle Stef could have even returned to Judaism during his lifetime for all that I know (Again, I cannot find a baptism record for him, but FamilySearch had all of his siblings' baptism records.).

By the way, compare Great-Great-Granddad in 1905 and the 1930s or the 1940s to himself in 1946:









Do you see how God directly visited Great-Great-Granddad's iniquity now?