Introduction: Part Of The True Story Which Inspired This Novel, And Some Of Process That Went Into Writing It
I waited to see if the following pitch to WhittDocs on YouTube would come to something. As it ended up remaining an unanswered email thus far, I feel free to use it as part of the explanation as to what inspired “Sons of Difficulty”:
If you have an interest in another account of somebody with an unusual grave, try the account of Yehudah (Julian/Ludwik) Zernetzky or Chernetski (variously Czerniecki, Czarniecki—predominantly in times of particularly-severe Antisemitism, etc.). When I saw your video about the grave of Goldenhawk Sizemore, I was reminded of Yehudah’s grave, as it was also an obelisk. Here is part of the biography of Yehudah, the paternal grandfather of my paternal grandfather:
Passed off as a forcibly-baptized sibling of the same name, “Julian” Czerniecki was born to “Antoni” (Paweł and Dominika Wierzbinska) Czerniecki and “Katarzyna” Daniłowiczówna Czerniecka. “Katarzyna” herself was born on October 26, 1838, and forcibly baptized on December 29, 1843; and when the older “Julian” (October 1874 - before or on December 24, 1875) died, she passed off her younger Julian as her older Julian in order to help him avoid forced baptism. She herself had her life saved when a priest by the surname of Olszewski explained why she was baptized when she was five years old instead of when she was an infant: “this is due to neglect of the parents.”
Reverend Olszewski knew that no serious Catholic whatsoever would forego having an infant baptized, as foregoing to baptism of an infant was considered a mortal sin that could an infant to limbo. He therefore saved the life of five-year-old “Katarzyna” from suspicious Russians and Poles, and other suspicious gentiles—as she and her widowed mother, Marianna Krusinska (or Kruszynska) Daniłowiczówa, had no protections after Abram “Wojciech” Daniłowicz died the year before. They’d already been hidden Jews in a town outside of Russia-occupied Krasnopol, in a town called Krasne.
“Katarzyna” therefore found no issue in passing off her younger Julian as her older Julian, similarly to how Reverend Olszewski protected her. A few years later, cousins “Antoni” (Yosef, perhaps Yosefeh) and Agata Margiewiczówna Andrulewicz would do the same with their older Aleksandra Alicja (Asenat Sarah) and their younger one. When the younger Aleksandra Alicja (June 26, 1882 - April 6, 1936) immigrated to the United States to join her husband-cousin, she listed “mother-in-law Katarzyna Czernieczka” as her contact back in Russia-occupied Poland, but only because they were related – not because they were on speaking terms in the least.
When Julian and Aleksandra became hidden Jews as adults, this infuriated Katarzyna. In fact, Julian’s older brother Feliks (Efrayim or Jankie) named his oldest daughter for his mother as if she were already dead (as they used both Ashkenazi and Sefardi naming customs, and he definitely chose to use Ashkenazi custom for the secular name—as Katherine Chernetski Chokola was born on October 26, 1897). The same estrangement between Feliks and Katarzyna would be between Julian (and Aleksandra) and Katarzyna, with even pictures that a family friend brought back getting thrown away as soon as they were passed around to everybody (The family friend, Bertha Stawinski Wawrzyn, was born in 1929; and Julian was killed in a mine accident on September 11, 1922–also the 31st anniversary of Feliks’ immigration to the United States). The estrangement never went away no matter what sorrow (e.g., death) or joy (e.g., immigration and relative freedom) occurred, with the exception of one letter that was a request for a return of the family farm’s deed—and that letter came after Julian’s son Anthony “Tony” John Czarnecki (Chananyah HaLevi ben Yehudah v’Asenat Sarah) succumbed to Depression and PTSD on December 2, 1964.
Yehudah, whom calqued his name with variations of “Julian” and “Ludwik”, had nine children whom survived infancy: Tony, Regina (Malke or Rachel), Alexandria Alice (Asenat Sarah; later “Alexandria Julia” or Asenat Yehudit in honor of her father), Stanley Peter (presumably Shmarya), Jankie (“John Raymond”/“John Francis”/“John Felix”), Edward Leonard (Yehudah Aryeh or Aryeh Leib), Susi (Josefeh, Joseph Paschal, “Joseph Peter”), Bernard “Bernie” Stanley (Binyamin Shmarya), and Cecelia Regina. Only Jankie and Susi used Yiddish or other Jewish names openly at all.
Yehudah died just under three years before Regina, whom succumbed to Rheumatic Heart Fever and Chorea on June 23, 1925. If the graves of Regina and her mother are marked, my father certainly made no effort to take pictures of those graves — even though he claims that he did. He did take pictures of Yehudah’s and Bernie’s graves.
Because the elder Asenat had been raped just before she and Tony immigrated to the United States, and one of her children was forcibly conceived, it would be unsurprising if she refused to have her grave and Regina’s grave marked. She already deeply resented having to be a hidden Jew, and she was really upset when Tony married a Jewish Catholic “for love”—she considered Mary Trudnak, the daughter of Michael Nagy-Trudnak and Anna Munka Trudnak, a complete apostate for willingly believing in Jesus. I personally knew Mary Trudnak Czarnecki, zichrona l’vracha, and I wish that Great-Great-Grandma had come to understand that Great-Grandma was not in fact apostate or treacherous. Great-Granduncle Stanley did come to believe in Jesus thanks to his grandson, Mark, as did Great-Grandaunt Alice (Her grave boldly reads, in reference to both passages in Tanakh and the New Testament, “The cross leads generations” Alexandria Julia Dobrosky. At least two of her mother’s cousins also boldly declared Jesus as the son of Joseph, using a motif that is common on Italian graves. Their graves are in different cemeteries, and they were also part of hidden Jewish branches of the family.).
Great-Great-Granddad (that is, Yehudah/“Julian”/“Ludwik”) did not get to live to the successes of descendants and other relatives of his. His niece Katherine (née Katarzyna Czerniecka) married into the Chokola Family of Luzerne County, Pennsylvania, and held it together (She unfortunately subsequently died of Breast Cancer; and her sister Wanda died of Ovarian Cancer. While they could’ve died of gynecological cancers because of risks inherented from their mother, Yosefa/Josephine “Veronica” Supronowicz Czarnecki, I have reason to believe they may have inherited such risk from Dominika, whom I mentioned earlier.
(Born in 1819 and deceased by 1867, Dominika Wierzbinska Czerniecka was deceased by the time that she would have been 47-48 years old—and in up to 48 years with at least seven children born in 22 years, she held her family together. The strength that she possessed gave her male descendants like Yehudah and Feliks, and her female descendants like Katherine and Wanda the strength that they needed to get through trauma for as long as they could get through it.).
Yehudah may have also chuckled to see that Katherine’s (and Wanda’s) sister Valarie “Lillie“ (née Nechama “Nellie”) married John Nagy-Trudnak (the oldest brother of Tony’s wife, Mary Nagy-Trudnak Czarnecki. That in itself is another story for another time, as the in-law father of Tony and of Lillie was born to hidden Jews Maria Nagyová and Mihály Trudnyak). Through the Trudnak-Czarnecki unions, at least three descendants of Yehudah and Feliks became quite successful.
One of them was Yehudah’s grandson John “Jack” Czarnecki, one of the three IRS agents whom served tax papers to Richard Nixon via his attorneys (and “Pop-Pop”, as I knew him, was definitely reluctant to talk about it. Needlessly to say, he would never openly admit that we were Jewish, and that he hated Nixon because Nixon was an Antisemite. The closest admission that I even got from him that we are Jewish is “if we had any Jewish blood, I don’t know about it”—and that was the closest to an admission that you’d ever get from him if you knew him.)
Two others of them are Feliks’ granddaughter Mary Bishop Yerkes, a writer; and Feliks’ grandson Robert “Bob ‘BBQ Bob’” Trudnak, an entrepreneur.
Yehudah was also spared living to see the sorrows of (among other sorrows) Feliks’ death from pneumonia, Tony’s loss of his firstborn son, and Lillie’s death from Leukemia (and even though Katarzyna Daniłowiczówna Czerniecka was somehow a distant cousin of Kirk Douglas, it’s very unlikely that either of her sons would’ve lived past 103–let alone to see Jack die of the same Leukemia or a similar type of leukemia which killed Lillie. By the way, I’m still ambivalent about whatever our relationship to Kirk Douglas is—I am not thrilled that we are related to the man whom victimized Natalie Wood).
Yehudah could’ve arguably lived to see Feliks die when he was 52 (and Feliks was 58), Tony’s firstborn son die when he was 59 (and the first Anthony, Jr. was only seven hours old), and Lillie’s death when he was about to turn 89 (and she was 50. Incidentally, her widower later remarried Anna Mikita Czarnecki—the widow of her brother Joseph L. Chernetski. As I mentioned, Great-Great-Granddad was spared living to see many more sorrows than he had already endured— and notwithstanding mad his death in a mine accident when he was 46 years old was sorrowful).
There’s a lot more to the history behind a Polish-language obelisk of a matzevah that marks the grave of Yehudah “Julian”/“Julias”/“Julius”/“Ludwik” Czerniecki (Zernetzky, Czarniecki, etc.) of the shtetlach of Lipsk (“Lisko Orlisko”) and Sumeve or Someve (Szumowo), Russia Poland. I will also send a picture that my father begrudgingly took, although the story of Yehudah (December 24, 1875/1876/1877/1879-September 11, 1922) it’s probably enough free to process for now. It’s still a lot for me to process after almost 20 years, especially since I did not find out that we are Jewish until I was 18 – and I did not even know that Great-Granddad (who was born in Tsuman’ on the day of the Kaniv Pogrom) actually came over here with Great-Great-Grandma to join Great-Great-Granddad (whom conveniently “[did] not remember” what ships he boarded when he immigrated illegally twice, and whom interestingly chose to mark Great-Grandaunt Regina’s birthday on April 1st instead of the anniversary of the Alhambra Decree. He did ironically, give the correct birthdate of Great-Granddad, whom chose not to celebrate his birthday on that day. He also chose to mark Great-Granduncle Stanley’s birthday on the day of his b’rit milah—why he chose to give Great-Granddad‘s correct birthdate, then, I can only guess, as Great-Granddad to celebrate his birthday on October 24th).
As I mentioned, it’s probably a lot for you to process — and it’s still a lot for me to process after almost 20 years, and July 25th will be the 17th anniversary of when I was even able to confirm that we are Jewish. Anyway, I will send a follow up email with the picture of Great-Great-Granddad’s matzevah if I can find it.
Nicole Czarnecki (Nitzkiah bat Avigdor Matityahu HaLevi)
At the time at which I wrote this on my iPhone, I did not and could not have all of the documents in front of me. I tried to recall a lot of what I wrote down from memory, and I encounter challenges even with using voice-to-text functionality on my iPhone (I type with only one finger on each hand, and I have had an iPhone that I was gifted for almost six years at the time of this writing. Perhaps in concession to my mother, whom gifted me the iPhone, I can admit that, perhaps using the iPhone so much has caused slight pain in the area of my dominant-hand thumb. Ergo, I really do need to again set up my computer and my wireless mouse.).
Thus, even small factors like using an iPhone and keeping track of just my side of my paternal family can affect my writing, whether that writing regards my family history or takes inspiration from it.