Clarification

When I said the following, I meant that I haven't chosen how the publisher would pay me* if anyone actually does buy my first book and, if I can ever find the heart to finish the manuscript for my second book. my second book:

"By the way, the first book can be looked at, at Amazon and MoreBooks.De. I've made nothing from them yet and don't want to do so until I'm sure that, e.g., I can pay my student loans off and have a secure future—being a living-at-home, single, disabled, and 26-year-old two-time-ex-girlfriend (with each ex boyfriend being men with whom I had to break up and on whom I had to call the police) sucks—nothing about, e.g., being almost $25K in student debt and a person with C.P. and comorbid conditions (including Depression) is glamorous."

*See more at https://www.hadassa-wp.com/site/how-to-publish/14. For any author, Paypal or something else has to be used.  

Some Examples Of Effects Of When Losses Of Relationships, Whether In Life Or Due To Death, Still Affect Someone After A Long Time

The reason that I write this entry, by the way, is because I'm thinking about—among other relationships that I've lost—a relationship with a dear friend and a writing mentor that I've lost—and one effect of that is that I can't finish the manuscript of the next book on which I'm working*. Losses of relationships like that can be paralyzing, and it's paralyzing in this case because he or she was one of the three friends whom inspired me to even write the book.

As far as other examples of effects because of other relationships which I've lost, and examples to which I'm sure others can relate:

1. Death of family members does indeed bring about the inability to know about and discover parts of yourself and your history. For example, I never got to know the Jewish Mary Trudnak Czarnecki (z"l) about whom I might've had a clue had I thought about staying in touch with her (e.g., That story that she told Mom about spitting on a neighbor's line-drying sheets would've been fully understood before had I know that she's an Ashkenazi Jew whom had the misfortune of living next to her shanda-fur-die-goyim in-law brother Susi, whom Granduncle Tony [z"l] called "an SOB" for understandable reasons. To spit re someone or something horrid is a minhag Ashkenazi, as I later learned, by the way.)
2. Per the example above, I also never knew that she died under horrible circumstances, and only after I reconnected with another relative find and figure out how horrid they were. Great-Grandma, I think, passed down much of my Yiddishkeit to me, whether she knew or didn't know that she did, by the way.
3. Even losses of toxic relationships and/or other relationships whose endings are not your fault can bring bad effects, such as apprehension about your reputation and the effects thereof. For instance, being stalked on even LinkedIn by the sister of my sister's ex boyfriend was not at all fun—that caused an exacerbation in my Depression which carried over into the first year of Reilly's being home. Also, I still wonder what lies the ex boyfriend's family are telling about me and who those lies have reached—for all I know, I could come into contact with an HR manager whom has been told that I'm a crazy troublemaker by the family, and he or she doesn't know that (for instance) the now-ex boyfriend was "reenacting" as a Nazi ("German soldier") and has some very-Anti-Semitic friends (one of whom directed a "Heil ******, b****" slur at me when I confronted him.).
4. Losses of relationships due or at least partly due to mistakes that you've made can have the same and/or similar effects as the losses of relationships for which you had and have no fault. I'm still dealing with, for instance, bringing up that another cousin's hospitalization is due partly to our assimilation—I should've known, e.g., that a certain family member would ignore that Ashkenazi Jewish systems are not designed to digest and process what treif food we've picked up eating over the years; and I should've known that this same family member would defend "Grandma" (to me, Great-Grandma) Gaydos re Vilmosz (z"l v'HY"D).

I could give more examples of relationship-loss types and effects thereof, though I've written enough to get my point across to you. Besides, writing all of this has a bad side, which includes distress from bad memories and a distress-affected IBS flareup.

*By the way, the first book can be looked at, at Amazon and MoreBooks.De. I've made nothing from them yet and don't want to do so until I'm sure that, e.g., I can pay my student loans off and have a secure future—being a living-at-home, single, disabled, and 26-year-old two-time-ex-girlfriend (with each ex boyfriend being men with whom I had to break up and on whom I had to call the police) sucks—nothing about, e.g., being almost $25K in student debt and a person with C.P. and comorbid conditions (including Depression) is glamorous. 

Did the Second American Civil War Just Begin In New Orleans? If So, Of Course White Supremacists Would Begin It; And They Did So Over Robert E. Lee Commemorations

According to Fox News and the Associated Press, New Orleans may be the new Fort Sumter:

"Backlash against a plan to remove prominent Confederate monuments in New Orleans has been tinged by death threats, intimidation and even what may have been the torching of a contractor's Lamborghini. For now, at least, things have gotten so nasty the city hasn't found a contractor willing to bear the risk of tearing down the monuments. The city doesn't have its own equipment to move them and is now in talks to find a company, even discussing doing the work at night to avoid further tumult.

"Initially, it appeared the monuments would be removed quickly after the majority black City Council on Dec. 17 voted 6-1 to approve the mayor's plan to take them down. The monuments, including towering figures of Gens. Robert E. Lee and P.G.T. Beauregard, have long been viewed by many here as symbols of racism and white supremacy."

If one keeps reading, he or she will come across reporting such as that:

"H&O Investments LLC. of Baton Rouge soon pulled out of the job, citing death threats, 'unkindly name-calling,' outrage on social media and the threat of other businesses canceling contracts. One day, ... 'a specific articulated threat' was phoned into city authorities warning workers at the monuments to leave for their safety. On Jan. 12, H&O sent the city a letter saying it was dropping out."

 I obviously don't use "Second American Civil War" lightly, then; and the prospect of a Second American Civil War involves nothing funny.

Originally On Writerbear Brussels Deserved The Attacks For Anti Semitism...According To, Among Others, Asher Schwartz And

Asher Schwartz and "The Jewish Press" posted a despicable editorial cartoon that blamed Belgium for Daesh's attacks on it. The Facebook page "Documenting Anti Semitism" shared the cartoon, and I began writing the following in the comments section until I realized that reporting such victim-shaming and giving everyone else the heads up might be a better idea.

Needlessly to mention, Asher Schwartz and "The Jewish Press" are also on notice that victim shaming is unacceptable to and unwelcome by the majority of 'am Yisra'el:

"Wow. Victim shaming much? This surely wasn't the attitude of Asher Schwartz and 'The Jewish Press ' about the 9/11 attacks, or after the attacks in Paris?

"The U.S. under the Carter and Clinton Administrations was particularly Anti Israel; so, did the U.S. get what it deserved post Clinton? BTW, Daesh is doing to Europe what Al Qadea did to the U.S.: targeting the Jews among them.

"In other words, are we to blame for what Daesh did to those of us in Paris and Brussels, and what Al Qadea did here? That's ultimately what Asher Schwartz and 'The Jewish Press' are saying. After all, just as Al Qadea wanted to target Jews*, Daesh wants to target Jews; and for 'The Jewish Press' to encourage Asher Schwartz to blame an Anti-Semitic attack on victims of Anti Semitism is akin to what Daesh and its influencers do and did—after all, Daesh's influences include a Nazi government that blamed Jews in Europe for Kristallnacht, don't they?"

*Per Page 251 of the "9/11 Commission Report":

"Mullah Omar is reported to have opposed this course of action for ideological reasons rather than out of fear of U.S.retaliation.He is said to have preferred for al Qaeda to attack Jews, not necessarily the United States. KSM contends that Omar faced pressure from the Pakistani government to keep al Qaeda from engaging in operations outside Afghanistan. Al Qaeda’s chief financial manager,Sheikh Saeed, argued that al Qaeda should defer to the Taliban’s wishes. "

Originally On Writerbeat: A Redacted 2005 Police Report, Depression, and An Ableist

The former two are not fair game. The latter one—a sick ableist—is—and the sick ableist in question is Donald Trump. Heidi Cruz did not wake up one day and decide to have a depressive episode that day (whether or not the depressive episode was a one-time episode or a flareup of chronic Depression). She did not decide to plan to sit 10 minutes away from traffic during a nervous breakdown, and she did not think that someone as cruel as Donald Trump would be cruel enough to use what can be a fatal mental illness to "spill the beans".

Nobody forced the aspiring First Lady Melania Trump (then model Melania Knauss) to pose nude for "GQ". Circumstances in Heidi Cruz's life, for whatever reason, did force her to have some kind of mental breakdown (regardless of whether the breakdown was a one-time depressive episode or just another flareup of Depression—flareups to which each Depression patients gets resigned in some respect, irrespective of how each of us deals with those flareups.).

Notwithstanding that Heidi Cruz intentionally sat 600 seconds from traffio of six—600 seconds in which she could have had her last breaths and ended her life—she got up and went home. Not everybody does that—in fact, some die at home—ask my great-great-granduncles Frank and Alexander Focko, as the former hung himself at his home and the latter fatally consumed cyanide in his home. 

Ask their dad, my-great-three-times grandfather Istvan Foczko (and while I'm not a mathematician, I know that for a man in his 50s with two sons whom committed suicide—and the sons being two of six sons—to not have committed suicide is statistically impossible—especially since one third of his sons also happened to be two of his seven children.).

Ask my father's paternal grandfather, whom changed his mind too late—he wanted to go home and had already jumped off of Falls River Bridge, blocking traffic with his abandoned-in-the-middle-of-the-bridge car and humiliatedly having drivers, three hunters whom tried to get him to the riverbank, and others watch as he drowned to death from not being able to hold on to a rock in the midst of Falls River currents.

In what year is Donald Trump, anyway—1905? 1913? 1935? 1964? Almost 52-111 years later, can't Donald Trump stop being childish and realize that victims of Depression (let alone Depression-affected suicide) are not stigmas (let alone suicides) in of themselves? At least relatively few—in more Westernized societies, anyway—view victims of suicide as the suicides themselves, even though many still view victims of Depression—and other mental illnesses—as stigmas. 

Donald Trump ought to go live in a shari'a-ruled or other Non-Westernized society if he continues to view people with mental illnesses as shari'a- and other Non-Western-minded people do—and even some Western societies, such as Croatia and Serbia, need to continue to work on Westernizing or even start Westernizing.

By the way, Meliana Trump's precious Slovenia still has its Westernization to implement—why doesn't Donald Trump suggest barring Slovenian immigrants whom are ableist and don't want to take care of their own?—or he could perhaps help Svenica and Ljubljana build adequate mental hospitals instead of focusing on castles. 

Originally On Writerbeat: Just Like Going To a Normative Jewish Funeral And Saying, "Do You Know Yeshua?"...

Some are using the Daesh terror attack against Brussels to push their own agendas. One of the agendas is Muslimophobia*. Another is Trumpism. Still another is blaming the EU for allowing in Middle Eastern refugees—aka, victim shaming—and still another is xenophobia and racism**.

Now is the time to simply comfort, console, grieve with, and support the Belgians—just like my role at a Normative (i.e., Non-Messianic) Jewish funeral would be to comfort fellow mourners among Tzion v'Yerushalayim, not ask "Do you know Yeshua?" or "Did [the decedent] know Yeshua?" or "Since [the decedent] died without knowing Yeshua, [he or she] is not in Heaven. Would you like to know how to stay out of Hell and avoid [the decedent]'s fate?"

Those who incite Muslimophobia, use Belgium's 9/11 to promote Donald Trump, or engage in shaming the Belgians and stereotyping are no better than, e.g., Jesus For Jesus under opportunistic and Holocaust-exploiting David Brickner or people whom go onto the comments section of "Times of Israel" articles about murder victims to proselytize—whom would similar to me were I to start giving the whole "Let me tell you about Yeshua" schpiel at, e.g., an Orthodox Jewish funeral (which is akin to what has happened in "Times of Israel" comments sections, with one incident in which a friend of a decedent's family friend had to get involved and ask people to refrain from proselytizing).

*Note that I did not say "Islamophobia". I grant that moderate Muslims are really Reform/Liberal/secular Mohammedans—and Jews in Poland were called "Mosaics", similarly and by the way; so, with all due respect, get over your political correctness. By the way, you could call Daesh, Al Qadea, etc. Orthodox Mohammedans or Ultra-Orthodox Mohammedans, since Mohammed was a violent man. By alienating Reform/Liberal/Secular Mohammedans ("moderate Muslims") are you going to help fight against Orthodox Mohammedism and Ultra-Orthodox Mohammedism?

**Stereotyping all Middle Eastern refugees as Mohammedans is wrong and may even be Anti Semitic in some cases, though you can be my guest if you want to risk labeling Jadid al-Islam (Mizrahi Anusim) and other Non Mohammedans, including Egyptian Jews and gentile Coptic Christians.

Originally On WriterBeat: Open Letter To Chad Simon (Class of 2016, Brown University)

I have ancestors whom committed suicide due to Depression; my father's sister attempted suicide due to Depression; I ended up in a mental hospital due to Depression.

You indeed "[know] powerfully little about the physiological mechanisms behind real, incurable, moored-to-the-bed-in-supine-position depression." By the way, not every person with Depression stays moored-to-the-bed-in-supine-position". Also, you need to learn that there is a marked difference between feeling depressed and Clinical Depressions such as Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Depression, and Schizoaffective Disorder (a combination of Schizophrenia and Bipolar Depression).

I really hope that your major is not Psychology, Biology, Chemistry, or Pre-Med Studies, because I would not award you a degree in either of those fields of study were I the person whom is responsible for conferring degrees on students at Brown University.