Commentary: Yes, She Was Around Him. What May Have Happened If She Weren't May Have Been Worse. Ask Salma Hayek, For Example

With Harvey Weinstein finally being held to account for the various rapes and other acts of sexual abuse that he committed, so, too, are his victims being held accountable...for being abuse victims.

For example (and being a survivor of childhood abuse, although thankfully not childhood sexual abuse, I had to reply when one person held Harvey Weinstein's victims accountable for something that they did not do):

Look more closely at the pictures. Rose McGowan and Meryl Streep, e.g., are clearly not comfortable being around Harvey Weinstein.

— N.V. Mara Czarnecki (@Nickidewbear) January 6, 2020

A common fallacy is, "If (s)he's around him (her), (s)he must not really be being abused." Many abuse victims stay around their abusers because they are Stockholmed and/or they dread what might happen if they don't.

— N.V. Mara Czarnecki (@Nickidewbear) January 6, 2020

Being an abuse victim is not a choice or in any other way something that an abuse victim does. After all, for instance, nobody chooses to be sexually abused or have their kneecaps broken, let alone have their taken altogether for that matter (as if rape isn't its own form of murder):

"“He told me he wanted to kill me,” Hayek told Winfrey. “He said to Julie Taymor [the director of ‘Frida’], ‘I am going to break the kneecaps of that ‘c-word’.”" (Brackets in the original)

"I had brainwashed myself into thinking that it was over and that I had survived; I hid from the responsibility to speak out with the excuse that enough people were already involved in shining a light on my monster. I didn’t consider my voice important, nor did I think it would make a difference...

"I don’t think he hated anything more than the word “no.” The absurdity of his demands went from getting a furious call in the middle of the night asking me to fire my agent for a fight he was having with him about a different movie with a different client to physically dragging me out of the opening gala of the Venice Film Festival, which was in honor of “Frida,” so I could hang out at his private party with him and some women I thought were models but I was told later were high-priced prostitutes.

"The range of his persuasion tactics went from sweet-talking me to that one time when, in an attack of fury, he said the terrifying words, “I will kill you, don’t think I can’t.”" 

Even Salma Hayek fell for the "Since I was around him, I wasn't really being abused" fallacy in light of all that, however:

"I had to say yes. By now so many years of my life had gone into this film. We were about five weeks into shooting, and I had convinced so many talented people to participate. How could I let their magnificent work go to waste?
"I had asked for so many favors, I felt an immense pressure to deliver and a deep sense of gratitude for all those who did believe in me and followed me into this madness. So I agreed to do the senseless scene."

She recognized this:

"It was soul crushing because, I confess, lost in the fog of a sort of Stockholm syndrome, I wanted him to see me as an artist: not only as a capable actress but also as somebody who could identify a compelling story and had the vision to tell it in an original way."

With the fallacy being, "(S)he wasn't being abused by him (her), or else she wouldn't be around him (her), the actual case is, "(S)he continues to be around him (her) because (s)he's Stockholmed and/or in dread of what (s)he might or will do."

If Rose McGowan's, Meryl Streep's, and Salma Hayek's cases don't convince you of that, look at the cases of Jerry Sandusky's victims (whom were male victims of a male abuser and, even though they are survivors, will never fully recover from what was done to them in this lifetime—and what sexual-abuse victim, especially any rape victim, ever really recovers from the abuse that she or he has to endure?).

If not even the cases of Jerry Sandusky's victims convince you, look at those of Michael Jackson's victims (notwithstanding that the cases of Wade Robson and one other person are apparently questionable). If not even those cases convince you, go back to looking at cases of male-against-female abuse and start with the case of Andrea Constand (By the way, yes, Bill Cosby also abused children, as then-teenager victims of his were obviously teenagers and obviously therefore children—and one of them was Nicolle Rochelle, whom was actually a preteen when she first had to be around him).

Either way, your choice to believe or disbelieve sexual-abuse (and other abuse) victims whom continue to be around their abusers will not change the fact that sexual-abuse (and other abuse) victims continue to be around their abusers because they've been Stockholmed and/or threatened within every inch of their lives by those whom'd they'd otherwise gladly escape. 

Thank You, "Time"!

All I needed to see is the headline that the #MeToo Movement is "Time" Magazine's Person of the Year. While I remember very specifically voting for the #MeToo Movement and asking others on Twitter to do the same, I know that the #MeToo Movement would not have been "Time"'s Person of the Year had others not considered my and still many others' advice to vote for the surprisingly-at-the-time-low-voted movement. I'm only one in God knows how many—basically, a salt grain in an ocean drop—since there are many more like me—and certainly many whom've and whom'll sadly have endured worse than I ever have endured or will endure (as far as I know, anyway—so far, I've been blessed to be protected from severe sexual abuse).

The #MeToo Movement, despite that—according to Fox News and other sources—it's actually been a movement for 11 years, has done more in the past few months than many people (including other "Person of the Year" candidates) have accomplished in a year—let alone many years and let alone a lifetime. In fact, —Rose McGowan and others brought down Harvey Weinstein only two months ago—which I was surprised to see when I double checked if "past few months" is accurate! Of course, the #MeToo Movement began its watershed breakthrough when Gretchen Carlson exposed the hypocrite Roger Ailes and built up to its sixth-of-a-year critical-mass moment as more and more women—and even quite a few men—came forward about Roger Ailes and still others. Without Gretchen Carlson, then, 11 years of trying to stop a centuries-pervasive problem in American culture and in Western society overall would not have culminated in a remarkably-quick shoe drop, chip fall, domino-chain reaction, or whatever it is—and Gretchen Carlson deserves the recognition that "Time"'s acknowledgement of the #MeToo movement brings her and those whom came forward because of her.

As I said before, then, thank you, "Time"—you gave countless people whom worked to raise their own voices and help others raise their voice against the sexual abuse and other sexual harassment that they and others have endured and at least no longer have to endure without a millions-of-voices-strong voice telling them, "Me too."

Abuse Is Never "Normal Stuff", Even In the ***** Era

"I'm beginning to think you...crucified your father for normal stuff!"

Without going into details about what affected that statement for whatever reason, I will say that I was appalled when someone said that to me—abuse is never "normal stuff", and all kinds of abuse are out of the norm—at least in a reasonable and decent society, abuse is (relatively, anyway) out of the norm.

No society in this world is going to be entirely reasonable and decent. After all, as Thomas Hobbes observed, life is short, nasty, and brutish; and "kings and persons of sovereign authority, because of their independency, are in continual jealousies and in the state and posture of gladiators, having their weapons pointing, and their eyes fixed on one another, that is, their forts, garrisons, and guns, upon the frontiers of their kingdoms, and continual spies upon their neighbours: which is a posture of war. "

That nonetheless does not cause any kind of abuse to be "normal stuff", regardless of whether it's the kind of abuse that I endured from my father (which at least, thank God, was never sexual abuse) or the following examples of abuses that others have endured:

1. The "casting couch"—Harvey Weinstein's and others' victims did not want (let alone ask) to be sexually harassed and abused; and they shouldn't have to choose between careers and being abused, between silence to avoid further abuse and between speaking out and enduring further abuse, or between anything else and abuse. Having to choose between anything and abuse, by the way, is being put in an abusive position.
2. The "condolence" call that Myeisha Johnson received. What ***** stated was basically, "Your husband knew why he signed up, and we can never repay him or any other American military member whom sacrifices his or her life for the United States; so I'm not even going to try to repay what I can."
3. The follow up to the "condolence" call. Especially Myeisha Johnson did not need libel and slander against her; and Representative Frederica Wilson did not need the libel and slander, either.
4. The threats of racist and sexist violence against Congresswoman Wilson—as I said, abuse is neither normal nor in the norm in a reasonable and decent society, which is not the kind of society which Congresswoman Wilson's abuser would like to bring back.

In conclusion, then, only abusive societies have ever treated, ever treat, and will ever treat abuse as normal and normalizable. 

Quick Polls Re Fame & Notability, and...Well, Is There An Appropriate "Gate" Name For The Hollywood Sexual-Harrassment Scandal?

With all that's coming out of the entertainment industry, would (or do) you still want to be famous and/or notable? #news #polls #Hollywood

— N.V. Mara Czarnecki (@Nickidewbear) October 18, 2017

Is there an appropriate name for the current scandal in Hollywood, such as "Harveygate" or "Miramaxgate"? #news #polls #names #scandals

— N.V. Mara Czarnecki (@Nickidewbear) October 18, 2017

"Other" can be an answer like "Something like 'Miramax' is appropriate enough [or "explains it all", etc.]", as you might elaborate in a follow-up tweet. 

Three Examples Of "Sorry (Not Sorry. I'm Trying To Cover My A**.)."

1. Colin Kaepernick: at least Colin Kaepernick admitted that his only motive for standing for "The Star Spangled Banner" in the future is to be readmitted into the NFL (which he will likely not be after his girlfriend's racist meme re Ray Lewis, anyway).
2. Harvey Weinstein, whom's actually not even sorry—and he just got fired from his own company!
3. Dove^®—they're sorry that they got caught sending a "Black is dirty; White is clean" message (as, by the way, I tried to explain to my mother and reexplain after she watched a YouTube video of another person saying what I said—and I don't care whom the third person was. She could've been another White person for all that I know, given Dove's racism.).

"How To Get Away With Sexual [Battery]": Sponsor Bill Cosby's Tour & Set A Bad Example

If nothing else stops you from giving a venue to Bill Cosby's "How To Get Away With Sexual [Battery] Tour, think about young Black men in cities such as Birmingham (which was important in the Civil Rights movement), Chicago (where the American Giants Negro Leagues team was), Detroit (Motown), and Philadelphia (where the Constitution was written). What kind of example does violating the Civil Rights and other liberties and freedoms of women, and spitting in the face of men whom avoided couching any women as "whores" (let alone sexual-battery victims as such) set for young Black men?

The Obvious Real Perspective Of Jacob Malone, As Put Into My Words

On April 28, 2017, ex-pastor Jacob Malone received a sentence from Chester County, Pennsylvania judge Jacqueline Cody in light of the fact that he entered a guilty plea due to intoxicating his rape victim with alcohol, exerting undue influence over her as her pastor, and forcibly getting her pregnant. I put his sorry-not-perspective in my own words:

I'm sorry...only that I got caught. Were I really sorry, I never would've planned to victimize my former charge in the first place—let alone began to carry out my plan by luring her to reside with me, Libby, and my and Libby's children. I never would've lured her into the Malone residence only to pile alcohol onto her, kiss and touch her as a starting point to commit progressively-worse acts of sexual battery, and exert undue influence over her—especially as her pastor and surrogate father, I knew that I could get her to be quiet as I intoxicated her with alcohol and sexually batter her in the name of Jesus. Besides, I got her to live with me permanently—or so I thought—and go to school in my area—and she never ratted me out to her teachers or other school staff once.

Then I forcibly got her pregnant as I once again raped her—if I were really sorry, why would I force a child, especially a pro-life one whom knows that neither she nor our child did anything wrong, to have to prepare to explain why she's not a whore or a teenage delinquent? I brazenly put that girl in a position to carry a scarlet letter on her name—she wondered if she did something to deserve what I did, and I couldn't have cared less.

Meanwhile, I didn't turn myself into the police or confess to my church—in fact, I had Libby sit with me as I made a video to tell a different story than that my church kicked me out after I raped one of my congregants and forcibly had her conceive a child. I also never surrendered my passport—in fact, I acted like an asylum-seeking victim and a refugee while my victim had to go through a painful process to find refuge in God—and I didn't pay any child support or victim compensation before I intercontinentally traveled.

I came back to the United States two weeks later to turn myself into the police only because I was a wanted man whom wanted to enter a guilty plea and craft a favorable plea deal for myself. If I were repentant in the meantime, I would've filed divorce from Libby and give her full custody of my and Libby's kids in order to protect her and them—after all, I didn't get only two years; at least 18 years and 5 months alone is a long time to not see Libby and my children, including the child of my victim; and I've lost my paternity rights in regard to both Libby's children by me and my victim's child forcibly conceived by me.

I could go on and give some other details, though you get the point—as I said, I'm sorry only that I got caught.

Originally On LinkedIn: Stop Defending Roger Ailes!

1. Think about how his victims all but physically died, and think about how at least one may have even committed suicide or attempted to do so.
2. Think about how he destroyed careers, including Gretchen Carlson's and Rudi Bakhtiar's careers at Fox News.
3. Think about how he hurt his wife and son, and other families—sisters, wives, mothers, aunts, nieces, and other female family members among them.
4. Think about how he promoted corrupt Nixon, Tr**p, and other corrupt men.
5. Think about how he will finally have to face God (Baruch Dayan Emet v'Tzedek), and his victims will have closure, notwithstanding that even the death of the wicked should be mourned only because they never did teshuvah
6. Think about others that he destroyed. including Kelly Wright.
7. Think about how he hurt Rupert Murdoch and other compatriot colleagues whom trusted in him.

Think about other things as well. As for me, this proud Jewish Christian, woman, and real conservative Republican is glad that Roger Ailes is unable promote sexual harassers, misogynists, RINOs, and Anti Semites, and otherwise hurt others in the Name of Yehovah anymore—and that goes for Todd Starnes, a proud fellow Pseudo-Christian Baptist of his, too: in other words, Starnes will have to be confounded now that God took his compatriot away—and may Starnes and others whom continue to defend Roger Ailes have their eyes opened by his death and do teshuvah, as sometimes Yehovah uses one's physical death to bring others back to life though they have walked in death for a long time.hare

Why I Won't Change The Name Of My Blog

1. If I change the name of my blog, I'm engaging in an ex-post-facto action. Besides, keeping "The Nicole Factor" isn't like—for example and perhaps using an extreme example—if people were to name their children certain names nowadays or, in some cases, keep names that they had prior to certain events. Incidentally, to see that some parents did name and have named their children names such as "_____o" is incredibly disappointing; and I cringe when I see people with that name on Facebook.
2. I thought that those allegations were hit jobs against Bill O'Reilly.
3. I've called for the overturning of "Coker v. Georgia" (1977) and "Kennedy v. Louisiana", pointed out that "sexual assault" is really sexual battery—I've also not shied away from the sad reality that I'm somehow related to Natalie Wood's rapist and Jean Spangler's murderer, and I've talked about how rape did not escape our side of the family: in fact, I was surprised that rape seemed to escape our family and should not have been surprised when I found out that one of Great-Granddad Czarnecki's second cousins was involved in a gang rape (Somehow, the Chernetskis and Daniloviches are related in more ways than one, and both have roots that go back to Chavusy; and every single generation has had to live with whatever started with some Danilovich.).

Point being, then, I'm not going to change the name of "The Nicole Factor" just because the now-ex host of "The O'Reilly Factor" became the worst factor in his and others' lives, since I had nothing to do with what Bill O'Reilly did and I've spoken out against sexual exploitation (including that of the would've-probably-been-raped-anyway Jean Spangler) even within my own family history (and since Natalie Wood's rapist murdered Jean Spangler after she exposed their affair via a note to him, he would've raped Jean Spangler and any other women whom'd've said "No"—that's sadly a pattern among Daniloviches whom continue the family dynamics on any side, sexual and non-sexual dynamics alike.).

Why Sexual "Assault" Isn't Really Assault—It's Worse!

"Sexual assault" is actually sexual battery. When I read the news about Abigal Breslin having spoken about being "sexually assaulted", I thought back to my days in criminal-justice college classes—and if only she had been assaulted as opposed to be both assaulted and battered!

Sexual assault—threatening any form of sexual harassment, including any form of sexual battery—is bad enough. Sexual battery is worse, and intentionally or unintentionally calling sexual battery "sexual assault" is mitigating what sexual battery, which is often to almost always preceded by little to no sexual assault whatsoever, is—and sexual battery (which I myself almost mistakenly just called "sexual assault" just now) can happen in the smallest amount of time and totally unexpectedly on the part of the victim.

For example, a woman who's walking up to her apartment complex may not see her rapist assault her as he stalks her—especially as he swiftly and forcibly grabs her, batters her, and physically batters her separately from having physically battered her when he sexually battered her. Similarly, the middle-school student at her locker may not see her perverse male classmate assaultingly hover behind her and reach his hands out to commit battery against her. Jennifer Christie had the first kind of case happen to her (except for that she was in a hotel and battered prior to being grabbed); and too many a female student has the second kind of case happen to her in real life, which is why "Malcolm In the Middle" demonstrated another art-borrows-from-life episode.

By the way, as I recall, I had an experience in which a middle-school classmate put his hand on my backside without my permission or before-it-happened knowledge; although I don't know who he was, and I just frankly nervous-laughed it off, as he did so when quite a few people were walking in the middle-school halls. With a crowded hall and the school being (at the time) Owen Brown...I'm lucky that it wasn't worse, as some forms of sexual battery are worse in degree and form than, notwithstanding that no form of sexual battery is lucky—and I was walking with a walker, so I wasn't exactly going to have time to fully deal with it.

In conclusion, then, let's stop being incorrect about what sexual assault and sexual battery are, since the only way that calling sexual battery "sexual assault" is correct is that it's politically correct—or at least what's thought to be correct in a politicultural or culturopolitical sense.

Originally On LinkedIn: Re Sexual Harassment In the Workplace As Manifested By Roger Ailes

Let's face that Roger Ailes sexually harassed Gretchen Carlson, and even an intellectually-honest layperson—including an intellectually-honest aspiring professional—can see that—and at least aspiring professionals can learn from this tragedy while they look to enter the workforce, which may sadly hold incidents of harassment in their futures.

Everyone needs to note, for example, that:

1. Gretchen Carlson filed the lawsuit after she was terminated, and she finally felt free to speak up.
2. Roger Ailes has not pressed criminal-libel and fraud charges. He, however, did try to get the case moved from a New Jersey state court—neutral territory—to federal court—and he, having worked for Richard Nixon, has connections in the federal government.
3. Given that Gretchen Carlson wrote those notes asking for more airtime, one can bet that her contract was breached against her multiple times—e.g., that she was not getting the airtime that her contract stipulated.
4. One can also bet that praise for Ailes that she wrote in her 2015 book was blackmailed out of her.
5. Not only has Gretchen Carlson reached a point—so have six colleagues whom spoke to "The Blaze", with two publicly identifying themselves.
6. Only three ex colleagues have vocally spoken in favor of Roger Ailes and against Gretchen Carlson.
7. One has to now wonder why Alisyn Camerota really left Fox News—what did "more opportunity" really mean?

The victim shaming that Gretchen Carlson has endured, by the way, goes to prove that sexual harassment and other abuse against women is indeed still rampant in the workplace, and inexcusably rampant. In other words, is abuse against women in the workplace excusable since "it happens all the time"?

Good luck to the likes of Roger Ailes, though—Roger Ailes and his ilk will need luck when their careers are ended because of their mistreatments of women and their subsequent inabilities to recruit women as employees.