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Showing posts with label personal history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label personal history. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Commentary (And A Shameless Plug): Part Of How To Promote Your Books, With An Example


  1. Definitely state why you write books (and write in general) and why you want to continue to write books (as well as in general), especially if you want to become or continue to be a full-time author.
  2. Suggest for what people should buy your books: e.g., for leisure reading, as belated holiday gifts, to support you as an author
  3. Appreciate when someone does buy a book of yours, and even give him or her a shoutout.
  4. Be persistent and timely in promoting your books, and "be persistent" does not mean "be harassing" or otherwise "be annoying". If others can and want to buy your books, they will. Likewise, "be timely" does not mean "be badgering" or "promote your books for every occasion and at every interval possible". In fact, being badgering and/or exploitative of every occasion will only be wasting your time and your potential audience's time.
Example:





PS Promoting the books four times on Facebook within five days was enough for now, especially with promoting them once today. 

Thursday, September 12, 2019

Commentary: "Who Wants To Live Forever", "Senseless Violence", Names, and a Nightclub in Re 9/11

So was about to go a reply to the following comment on a music video for a Queen song:

BreatheFreeBreatheFree1 month agoThank you for listing the names. As Bono has said, no family member wants to think they've buried a statistic. Each was a person with a name and family and a life that mattered. Each was a unique person whom a domestic terrorist treated like one in a crowd. We know differently. RIP all who are victims of such violence.
3REPLY


Nicole Czarnecki BreatheFree , I know what you mean. On September 11, 1897, a massacre against miners happened in Luzerne County, PA, as I found out today via Wikipedia (since I try to look up events for every day in history). The miners were all apparently Slavic and other gentiles. Looking at those names and the location, though, I knew that an apparently-Slavic (or any other apparently-gentile) Jew could be among them (even if any of his blood was gentile).There was such a one on September 11, 1922, indeed 50 years later. In a mine accident, an apparently-passed-for-gentile Jewish miner named Julian Charnetski (Julian Czarniecki), 46, died (His death certificate read 1879, though.). Before, I'd've looked at the list from 50 years before and not thought much. I'd also not thought of 9/11 as affecting this Jew (namely, myself) as much as it does, even though it did affect me and although I didn't lose any close relativesCANCELREPLY


Then I stopped. I would've continued until I thought that this needs to be shared with others as a reminder that indeed "no family member wants to think they've buried a statistic", and that anyone can be affected. Continuing, then:

....as far as I know. 9/11 affected me, but I didn't know that part of it was a neshamah Yehudit (a Jewish soul) in me responding. Page 251 of the 9/11 Commission Report states that the main target of 9/11 was "Jews, and not necessarily the United States". Then after doing family research, I figured out part of why, and moreso as I subsequently researched: some suspicions that I had were confirmed. Great-Granddad "Charnet-ski" was indeed a Jew; and that, that did indeed explain why my father would pronounce "Czarnecki" as "Charnetski" seemingly randomly enough, although it was really hint dropping. Of course, now that I figured out the heritage and what happened, he denies a lot of it, though I understand it: it can be painful when you're a third- and fourth-generation pogrom survivor (as he is, and his grandfather Anthony Czarnecki's parents survived by becoming b'nei ba'alei teshuvah [children of returnees to Judaism] that returned to Catholicism [as their parents were Anusim and B'nei Anusim whom became ba'alei teshuvah) and your kid figures out what happened after you told her a whole other story (especially when your whole life is based partly on telling lies to keep secrets and for other reasons, with the main reason for that being the big family secret about your heritage). By the way, the age given on the death certificate as well as the name was a lie: he was in fact born Julian Czerniecki (perhaps Julian Zernetzky) on December 24, 1875; and he often gave conflicting information in life to hide his identity.

There it is. The very violence that affected everyone on 9/11 included its effects on this unbeknownst-to-herself Jew on 9/11. The death certificate that she saw on July 25, 2008 confirmed that she was a Jew alone through Anthony, one of whose grandparents was "Katarzyna Danilowicz" (which was omitted from his uncle's death certificate, as "Danilowicz" apparently was a clear giveaway as to one's heritage at that time), and that put what happened almost seven years before she found it out and 79 years after it happened in a whole new light for her. She can then say, "Never think that it may not affected you if you can't be sure that it didn't," and that now she looks at that list on Wikipedia and wonders if those "Slavic" and other miners had any among them whom were like Julian, perhaps even relatives of his, and had or would have descendants whom were a general target for the 9/11 terrorists, whom did not like "Jews and Crusaders".

Now for the whole commentary outside of what would have been the comment:

One commenter posted the following in reply to another on Queen + Adam Lambert's music video for "Who Wants To Live Forever", which they dedicated to the Pulse Nightclub Shooting victims and other victims of "senseless violence" throughout history:

"Thank you for listing the names. As Bono has said, no family member wants to think they've buried a statistic. Each was a person with a name and family and a life that mattered. Each was a unique person whom a domestic terrorist treated like one in a crowd. We know differently. RIP all who are victims of such violence."

I know what he means. On September 11, 1897, a massacre against miners happened in Luzerne County, PA, as I found out today via Wikipedia (since I try to look up events for every day in history). The miners were all apparently Slavic and other gentiles. Looking at those names and the location, though, I knew that an apparently-Slavic (or any other apparently-gentile) Jew could be among them (even if any of his blood was gentile).  
There was such a one on September 11, 1922, indeed 50 years later. In a mine accident, an apparently-passed-for-gentile Jewish miner named Julian Charnetski (Julian Czarniecki), 46, died (His death certificate read 1879, though.). Before, I'd've looked at the list from 50 years before and not thought much. I'd also not thought of 9/11 as affecting this Jew (namely, myself) as much as it does, even though it did affect me and although I didn't lose any close relativesas far as I know. 9/11 affected me, but I didn't know that part of it was a neshamah Yehudit (a Jewish soul) in me responding. Page 251 of the 9/11 Commission Report states that the main target of 9/11 was "Jews, and not necessarily the United States". Then after doing family research, I figured out part of why, and moreso as I subsequently researched: some suspicions that I had were confirmed. Great-Granddad "Charnet-ski" was indeed a Jew; and that, that did indeed explain why my father would pronounce "Czarnecki" as "Charnetski" seemingly randomly enough, although it was really hint dropping. 

Of course, now that I figured out the heritage and what happened, he denies a lot of it, though I understand it: it can be painful when you're a third- and fourth-generation pogrom survivor (as he is, and his grandfather Anthony Czarnecki's parents survived by becoming b'nei ba'alei teshuvah  that returned to Catholicism [as their parents were Anusim and b'nei Anusim whom became ba'alei teshuvah]) and your kid figures out what happened after you told her a whole other story (especially when your whole life is based partly on telling lies to keep secrets and for other reasons, with the main reason for that being the big family secret about your heritage). By the way, the age given on the death certificate as well as the name was a lie: he was in fact born Julian Czerniecki (perhaps Julian Zernetzky) on December 24, 1875; and he often gave conflicting information in life to hide his identity.

There it is. The very violence that affected everyone on 9/11 included its effects on this unbeknownst-to-herself Jew on 9/11. The death certificate that she saw on July 25, 2008 confirmed that she was a Jew alone through Anthony, one of whose grandparents was "Katarzyna Daniłowicz" (which was omitted from his uncle's death certificate, as "Daniłowicz" apparently was a clear giveaway as to one's heritage at that time), and that put what happened almost seven years before she found it out and 79 years after it happened in a whole new light for her. She can then say, "Never think that it may not have affected you if you can't be sure that it didn't," and that now she looks at that list on Wikipedia and wonders if those "Slavic" and other miners had any among them whom were like Julian, perhaps even relatives of his, and had or would have descendants whom were a general target for the 9/11 terrorists, whom did not like "Jews and Crusaders". She's now even thinking of looking up their death certificates to find out—i.e., were they relatives; and were they thus indirect targets of the terrorists? Besides, they have the right to be counted as such for the record if they were, as they were victims of direct Anti Semitism in Polish Russia and elsewhere (including the U.S.) as well as indirect victims of 9/11 (and I'll add those corrections on their death-certificate indexes to note that).

Wednesday, September 4, 2019

Commentary: How To Repeal the Second Amendment & Still Have the Right To Bear Arms

Mandate the Second Amendment.


  1. Switzerland "allows [its] citizens or legal residents over the age of 18, who have obtained a permit from the government and who have no criminal record or history of mental illness, to buy up to three weapons from an authorized dealer, with the exception of automatic firearms and selective fire weapons, which are banned." The United States needs to require that each of its citizens who are registered to vote—including those who are registered at 17—and all  citizens as well as legal residents who are at least 18 years old to own at least one firearm except for if he or she has a criminal record or has a legitimate religious objection to owning a gun. 
  2. A person who has a mental illness should not automatically be banned from owning a gun, either—in fact, people with mental illnesses are more likely to be victimized and in need to defend themselves than to victimize and harm others.
  3. Swiss "men between the ages of 18 and 34 deemed "fit for service" are given a pistol or a rifle and trained." Each American man who is registered with the Selective Service and fit the previously-mentioned criteria (i.e., has no criminal record or legitimate religious objection to owning a gun) needs to be given one firearm and training upon registering with the Selective Service.
  4. Swiss "gun owners who want to carry their weapon for 'defensive purposes' also have to prove they can properly load, unload, and shoot their weapon and must pass a test to get a license." That should be a given in terms of what both Swiss and American citizens and legal residents should be trained to do. However, the United States needs to require that each its citizens and legal residents who fit the aforementioned criteria openly carry one weapon at all times for defensive purposes.
In conclusion, the United States needs to essentially mandate the Second Amendment by having a stronger amendment with language such as the following:

"The mandate to bear arms, with the People being the well-regulated militia on the domestic front, shall not be infringed. To this end:

  1. Each citizen of the United States who is registered to vote (including those who are registered at 17) as well as each citizen and legal resident who is at least 18 years of age, has no criminal records, and has no legitimate religious objections to the bearing of arms shall be at all times required to possess at least one firearm and openly carry said firearm on his or her person. 
  2. He or she is to possess said firearm for the defense of self and the defense of others as well as other lawful and legitimate purposes such as sustenance provision (namely, the hunting of game or the humane killing of an animal that he or she might raise for sustenance).
  3. He or she is to openly carry said firearm on his or her person in public at all times for especially the defense of self and the defense of others.
  4. If the citizen or legal resident in question is a man who is registered with the Selective Service, he shall be given one firearm and training in the lawful and proper use and handling of firearms upon registering.
  5. A citizen or legal resident shall not be denied the ownership or use of a firearm merely because of any mental illness and/or any other infirmity that he or she has unless he or she can be proven beyond a reasonable doubt and with probable cause to be prone or otherwise liable to commit unlawful and/or other unnecessary violence with any firearm due to his or her illness or infirmity. In fact, given that those with such illnesses and infirmities are in fact more than likely to need firearms for the defenses of selves and for self sustenances due to their vulnerable condition, the Congress of the United States shall take into account the needs of self defenses and self sustenances of people with mental illnesses and other infirmities when it enforces this provisions of this article with legislation pertaining thereto and in light thereof.
  6. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article."

Wednesday, April 24, 2019

Commentary: Assuming That DePaul's Like Notre Dame Of Maryland, They Will Support The Anti Semites

Assuming that DePaul is very-traditionally Catholic, it will support the Anti-Semitic students and persecute Dr. Hill. I as a student learned this the hard way when I went to Notre Dame of Maryland University (still then the College of Notre Dame of Maryland) for a time, and I left it for good reason when I did (and why Yehovah, ב״ה, allowed it to become a university is what only He knows, and it became a university within a year after I left. I suspect, though, that NDMU will be another case of the arrogant being exalted by Yehovah only to be humbled by Him.).

In my case, I was a student whom was persecuted by an Anti-Semitic professor and the administration (and I will name names, too: I have no problem speaking up about whom persecuted me). I was even set up by the campus religious director, Melissa Lees, after I confronted the religious studies professor, Dr. Weiss, on his Anti-Semitic remarks—literally, she promised to defend me in a meeting with the administration only to have sided with them in the first place, as became clear when I got into the meeting room. I'm not kidding when I say that Dr. Weiss' remarks were Anti-Semitic, either, and four that still stick out are the lies that: 
  1. We stole Passover from the Syrians
  2. The Exodus didn't happen and that it was "an ancient peasant rebellion" as opposed to an actual exodus from slavery
  3. "It's possible" that "the prophets [were] inspired by the Devil" (a student actually asked if the prophets could've been, and the professor actually answered, "It's possible").
  4. Matthew knew that Jesus was born in Nazareth and wrote that he was born in Bethlehem to advance his narrative, anyway

In other words, Dr. Weiss, Melissa Lees, et. al. perpetuated and encouraged these three among other Anti-Semitic canards that are rife within traditional Catholic institutions:

  1. That we're thieves
  2. That we're liars and perpetual victim-card players
  3. That we're demonic and do demonic things in the name of God 24/7 

Meanwhile, someone in a Facebook group asked the following question (which can be publicly seen), and this is why I even wrote all of this in the first place: 

"Funny they are being ugly and racist re Jews but that is okay and doesn't seem to threaten any of them. Do they not have any Jewish students? I would find their attitude threatening and racist. Why is that allowed!" 

As I replied to his or her question, "[m]y guess is that any Jewish students who are part of their student body either are self hating or are being persecuted like the professor is"; and "any Jewish students that have spoken up against Anti Semitism at DePaul, then, have probably been in the same position that I was in when I went where I went."

I didn't name Notre Dame or Dr. Weiss or Melissa Lees in the group, as I didn't want to try to make the thread in re Dr. Hill and DePaul about me. At the same time, I almost left this commentary as a comment in response into comments such that "the school needs to support the professor". So, I decided to turn what was going to be a clearly-too-long comment into this warning—essentially, that
one has to either understand or learn the hard way that Catholic Anti Semitism like that at DePaul is as Catholic Anti Semitism that Dr. Weiss, Melissa Lees, et. al. taught at NDMU, is as Catholic Anti Semitism anywhere and everywhere else:
  1. It is sadly not a "paradox", despite one commenter's giving of the benefit of the doubt: it is run-of-the-mill Pseudo-Christian Anti Semitism that Non-Evangelical (Non-Christian) Catholics still perpetuate. 
  2. It is the kind of Pseudo Christianity that caused my father's family to hide and deny our heritage, and I learned the hard way that Non-Evangelical Catholicism is indeed a cult. 
  3. It is what Martin Luther harbored: when he said that he never wanted to leave the Catholic Church, he meant that he never wanted to leave it; and he harbored its Pseudo-Christian Anti Semitism until his dying day (Besides, Luther was an opportunist and wanted to steal the work of the real reformers—Hus and Wycliffe—to make himself look like a real reformer—and were he a real reformer, he would've been a martyr like Hus was and even like Wycliffe was, as the persecution that Wycliffe endured fatally wore down his health.)

Friday, April 5, 2019

Commentary: Raising the Red Flag Re *****

I and quite a few others told everyone this for a reason! If you don't believe us, believe someone who worked with ***** when he says that and is a takes-one-to-know-one type!



Also, again, the narcissist and sociopath who first convinced the psychiatrists that narcissism and sociopathy are mental illnesses either is or was (depending on if he's still alive and) sitting back laughing!

Meanwhile, ***** is sitting back and laughing: "Look at these idiots. They really think that I have Dementia or some cognitive issue. Well, **** them. 'I don't play games,' I said. Oh yes I do. Of course I was projecting & acting like everyone else plays games.

"If they don't want to catch me at my game, they won't hold me as accountable as they should; and it's even better that my father did have Dementia: I can use my family history to fool them."




As for his IQ, it definitely is high; and sociopaths with high IQs are like particularly cunning, calculative, and frightening, especially when they try to look unintelligent to attempt gaslighting.

For example, even his recent comments about "Judge Flores": he knows the actual judge's name and acted like he doesn't to demean "Little Miss Judge Flores". Just ask "Miss Nicole" or "Miss Nick", among the plenty of other "Miss" types that I apparently am—and the memories of my grandfather calling me that have never gone away, even though he's now been deceased for six years this December, and he was not a nice person at all!



If nothing else, at least take it from a survivor of childhood abuse (with even some of it being physical, though at least thankfully not sexual). As I explained, with a few of the tweets shown here:











As I've said, that's the only reason that I'm glad that I went through childhood abuse and dealt with other narcisstic-sociopathic abuse: that is, I can see right through people like ***** because of what I've endured!

Thursday, December 20, 2018

Re A Matter About Which I've Posted On Facebook And Twitter In the Past Few Days

Since the time is sadly closer, I might as well just say it: my mom's mom has metastasized Lung Cancer that metastasized to her liver and bones, and she was admitted to the hospital a week ago tomorrow. They thought that Pneumonia and Shingles were the cause of her severe pain (and, oh man, was she in pain when I talked to her the night before!). They ran tests on Friday only to find that a spot on her liver and (as she told me) something "on the lungs", and then (according to one of my uncles or aunts) the "really bad" tests results showed that she has cancer that they somehow caught way too late.

She is under hospice care and has only days to weeks to live; and my own hope, truth be told, is that she dies on New Year's Eve if she has to go so soon, since that is my late maternal grandfather's (her first husband's) birthday (She even requested to be buried with "something of his" that he had passed down to their children when he passed away in 1974; and that was the first time that she was widowed, by the way 😢. She remarried in 1979 and was widowed again in 2004. She's also had other losses and sufferings throughout her 91 years, and now she has to endure terminal Lung Cancer 😢.)

Please pray that she goes in her sleep (since that what's she wanted) and/or surrounded by loved ones when she goes. She is sleeping more and more lately as well as eating and drinking less due to severe pain. She has been ready to go for a long time, even before her Lung Cancer diagnosis.
PS To loved ones (family and friends): please call and/or visit her if you can; and please pray for her. Also, as she once told my sister, "Never start smoking" (although she knows that Michelle would never smoke), and she quit cold turkey at 77 years and after 55 years of smoking. She even mentioned something about it to Mom today.

PPS May Yehovah comfort us among the mourners of Tzion v'Yerushalayim, and may her memory be for a blessing when & after she passes. For those whom want her Hebrew name, meanwhile, since she is of Jewish ancestry (although she does has gentile ancestry as well): Miriam Eliora bat Yochanahn Chaim* v'Miriam Margolit**. ***

*(ben Gdaliya ben Binyamin Yochanahn v'Natan'elah)
**(bat Yochanahn Toma v'Eliora)

*** Her dad (his everyday name having been John Carroll Pundt, z"l) was a son of George August Pundt (z"l) and Jewish especially on his paternal grandma's side (And her Hebrew name would've likely been Natan'elah bat Shlomo v'Amalia was she given one. Her everyday name was Dorothea "Dora" Lehr Pundt the daughter of Frederich and Amalia Gunther Lehr.). As for her maternal heritage, I'm pretty sure that she had Crypto-Jewish heritage on at least her mom's paternal grandfather's side, which is another discussion for another time.

Also, I've done family and other research; so:


  • Even though she is religiously Catholic (as were her parents), she in my opinion (especially since she believes in a Jewish man as the Messiah) should have the honor of her Hebrew name (notwithstanding that she knew most about her Irish and German heritage, and nothing about her Jewish heritage until I found out about it and brought it up. Her dad, from what I understand, did know about it and never told her about it, which is a long discussion.).
  • I could not find a suitable Hebrew equivalent for "August" or for her maternal grandmother's middle name, "Agnes". Her father's Hebrew would've likely been "Binyamin Yochanahn" for "William John", and his mother was an Elizabeth Müller Pundt the daughter of a Johann Conrad Müller and Margarete Siedenburg Pundt, both of Jewish ancestry. Again, long discussion.

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Originally On Quora: If I Had A Child With Diplegic Spastia...

Truth be told, I’d honestly not hold my breath and expect his or her father to stay or otherwise not abuse him or her especially because he or she has DSCP. I’m honestly surprised at the previous answers, as I honestly expected to see the same ableist and when-push-actually-comes-to-shove—with the answerers, though, I’m not holding my breath, as saying that you wouldn’t be ableist is a lot different than actually having a child with any disability—let alone DSCP—and seeing if you mean that you won’t be ableist.
With 28 years of DSCP after a neonatal stroke due to premature birth, I am not trying to be funny or ugly—though plenty of people in my life have ugily tried to amuse themselves at my expense.

Saturday, November 24, 2018

Originally On LinkedIn With Some Edits Here: No Shoes...That's a Problem, With Or Without Feet

"I have no shoes, and I'd complain about that. Then I saw a man with no feet."
That apparently-wise piece of advice angers me to no end. As I posted when I saw that proverb surface again, it was in the form of a comment on a Facebook picture that illustrated an equally-unwise piece of advice: basically, shut up and don't complain about what you don't have, especially since quite a few have less than you. I therefore finally voiced my take on Facebook, since I as a person with mental illnesses and other conditions have had enough of the "no shoes" proverb:
This is beyond short sighted, and here's what I stated about it on my personal Facebook timeline:"As a person with disabilities, I can tell you that there are 😲 invisible disabilities, including MS, Lupus, and 😨 mental illnesses. Also, some people with visible physical disabilities can 😱walk to some extent 🤯 (I know; right? 🙄)

"PS The man who has no shoes...may end up with no feet because he doesn't have shoes."Also, the man may have no shoes because he may, for all that anyone knows, just may have Schizophrenia that is severe enough to the point at which he cannot work to have money for buying shoes; and somewhere along the line, he became convinced that his Schizophrenia and thus inability to work is not as debilitating as, for example, losing feet due to a childhood disease or being born without feet. Someone might have told him:

"'Be thankful for what you have. Perspective is everything. You can walk. Just walk to a homeless shelter for God's sake and let them help you...'"

"This despite that a homeless shelter once told him, 'We don't accept Schizophrenics like you.'

"By the way, he can't afford medication that will help him manage his Schizophrenia and be able to hold a job.

"PS Using people with visible physical disabilities to diminish people with invisible disabilities, and vice versa, is ableist: we are not pawns for able-bodied and non-illness-afflicted people to try to get their foolish arguments across.

~The page creator and moderator"
Also by the way, why (for instance) do you think that the Nazis forced their victims to either give up their shoes or wear ones that hurt their feet? To teach them a proverb? Or perhaps cause them to (for example) have infected feet that would cause them to have sepsis and/or gangrene. 
Think before you consider a piece of advice to be wise, let alone timelessly wise just because it's been given for millennia in some or another form. While you think, remember those whom apparently-wise-although-foolish advice especially affected: remember those such as Holocaust victims whom lost their feet and could never walk again (let alone have livelihoods and start new lives) even if they did survive, and non-surviving Holocaust victims (z"l) whom died due to infected feet that became infected when their either wore shoes that caused their feet to blister or didn't have shoes at all. Also remember those with invisible illnesses whom were murdered in the T4 Program (such as my distant cousin Magdalena Rusznak, z"l, whom was murdered because she had Schizophrenia, although she was also Anti-Semitically murdered) and those with invisible illnesses such as PTSD that caused them to have agoraphobia wherever they could find to live (and thus had no chances to have livelihoods and start new lives).

Friday, June 15, 2018

As I've Stated, I Assure You That It's Not "Typical Narcissistic Hollywood". It's Nothing New That...

It's more like typical Danilovich narcissism. As I've said, I have seen that ugly **** on my side of the family. I'm distantly related to her husband's paternal family and arrogance like this is par-for-the-course classic on at least my side of our common family, so I should've figured that another in-law family member would be like this (and we've had plenty of like-in-law-like-member in laws).

Refresher:

Long story short and/or just as a refresher, someone once asked me if I am related to Kirk Douglas since the paternal grandmother of my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki was a Danilovich. I said that I'm not, as I thought that his surname was "Demsky".
Count One against that assumption: he was born a Danilovich. Count Two: he even looks like a relative, and I figured out quickly that the apparently-"Czarnecki chin" is a Danilovich one. Count Three, the big one: he has wreaked havoc on the world such as raping Natalie Wood (and as if our side didn't wreak havoc on the world, thank you very much!). I don't know (forgive the language) WTF was in the water of Dunilavičhy, the former shtetl whence the Danilovich/Danilowicz name comes, although something was.



Of course, "[p]ride goeth before the fall," and "God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble." Sadly, though, some people become more arrogant when they fall—and you can guess how I know that from familial experience.

Thursday, May 17, 2018

"How does depression kill people?"



My great-grandfather did exactly this [that is, "jump[ed] out of a burning building to escape fire"], except that he jumped off of Falls River Bridge. His final Depression flareup killed him inside, and he got to the point of wanting to commit suicide. As for me, I could’ve died [due] to starvation due to a Depression flareup that caused me to oversleep and even miss much of my puppy’s first year:
Reilly and Camille are a main reason why she is alive right now—and, to the chagrin of many, she has said this before. She wonders what would happen to especially Reilly if something ever happened to her, and something almost did happen to her before she got Reilly—she overslept to the point at which she could have died due to starvation due to oversleeping because of a Depression flareup had the flareup become worse than it already had been.
As she's also mentioned before, she missed much of Reilly's first year because of her Depression flareup—not to mention "Auntie Michelle"'s Depression-exacerbating insistence that her apparent "experience" was more important than her reading, talking to pet owners in the neighborhood, c..
People get mad when I say that my “dogter” and furniece keep me alive, though I have even thought about suicide despite that they are around. Depression kills one inside first and then may cause him or her to kill himself or herself.