An Example Of A Hurt That Only Truth Can Heal (To At Least Some Extent)

"Notwithstanding the opportunity to reach for a better outcome, there was no need for Jonathan, or for us, his parents, to live in shame, and certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie."

This is the exact opposite of how my father feels; and this is notwithstanding that I inherited his OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD. I found out from one of his maternal cousins that his paternal grandfather committed suicide, not died of Black Lung. When I confronted Dad, he gave the excuse that I was too young to know the truth about Great-Granddad's death; and this is despite that the sons of my Granduncle Tony (z"l) was honest with his own children upfront about how their grandfather died, meaning that Dad could've been as honest with me as Granduncle Tony was with his children.

Too often, people who have other things that they want to hide, hide whatever they can with bubbe meises instead of telling the stranger-than-fiction truth; and it has only "certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie." In fact, the bubbe meises make it worse, especially when the truth hits—and when you, for example, ended up in Sheppard Pratt for threatening suicide before you knew what partially explained it: i.e., that your father's paternal grandfather actually committed suicide and passed on his Depression to your grandfather (and you've figured out that your late grandfather had Depression, and that he passed it on to his oldest child), your father, and you.

My New Book And The Controversy That Is—Or At Least That Will Be—Behind It

In fact, I include the following in the introduction to both the Kindle edition and the regular one:

"On my blog and in other forums, I’ve written about this—and so, it’s nothing new. That is, I’ve discussed what my father’s maternal grandmother—Marysia Elizabeth “Mary” Rusnak Gaydos—and her father—András “Andrew Rusnak” Rusznak—did during the Sho’ah to family members back in Košice, Slovakia—which was still Kassa, Magyarország even in the 1930s and 1940s.

"I certainly did not wake up one day and think, “Oh; I’m going to accuse my great-grandmother of sending relatives to Auschwitz and make up a story around it.” That’s not even the kind of incident that I thought would’ve even happened in my family (which already had—and has—our own issues), though I shouldn’t have been (as my dad’s sister stated that she wasn’t) surprised—after all, a few red flags should’ve come up."

I also include part of the reason that I wrote the book in the final chapter:

"[H]istory repeats itself, and the bad parts of history really repeat themselves because of those whom:"1.     ignore or deny history
"2.     go out of their ways to defend what evils happen in history
and/or
"3.     even actively repeat it, or go out of their way to do worse than what happened the first time
 "I guarantee that some of these same relatives whom voted for Trump may also plan to leave the United States if the going gets tough and they don’t want to live with their choices—despite that they know that Trump illegitimately won by, for example, having Vladimir Putin and Julian Assange help him—and quite a few of them might even blame those of us whom weren’t able to get out."

I thus fully anticipate that some of my family will be angry and even ready to sue me—and those who'd consider suing would've had that idea before; so, I'm not giving them the idea to consider doing what they might consider doing, anyway—the higher good of learning from and teaching others to learn from history carries the risk of ligitational backlash.  

Nonetheless, I have a duty to remind my family and others of the following for the higher good:

That what was happening 80 years ago—when the Nuremburg Laws were enacted against Jews and almost every gentile group in Germany, and when my grandparents were born—is happening today is scary and not funny—and I don't think that my grandmother anticipated making it to 80 years old just to see Donald Trump become a Neo ****** and be at the kind of risk at which her family in Europe was, and the risk that all of us are at now.

An Accidentally-Smoked Cutting Board, A Screen Door, And A ~3-Hour Chase—Short Version

1. "Momma" accidentally turns on the wrong burner—she means to turn on the burner with the water-and-lavender-oil-filled pot on it.
2. A sound like a fire alarm is going off—that's when "Momma" becomes aware of the smoke.
3. "Momma" attempts to clear the later-thrown-away cutting board off of the burner, put as much as cold water on the burner as possible via squeezing a cloth—she had to do the same to the too-hot-to-touch board.
4. She turned on the fans, opened the windows, turned off the heater, and opened the backyard door in the family room.
5. With the screen door open and "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" trying to reach to close it, Reilly and Camille burst out into the backyard.
6. What finally bribed Camille to come inside was to play with "Froggie".
7. Meanwhile, Re-Poos-nik decided to stubbornly continue to stay outside. Never mind "Momma"'s use of the spray bottle, treats, gentle pushes with a stick, etc.. What finally bribed Reilly was the promise of a belly rub.
8. In between the use the spray bottle and belly-rub promise, "Momma" had to call the non-emergency police to try to help her catch Ri. The non-emergency police, though, sadly could not send anyone to help her.
9. Cam got yogurt and peanut butter as a treat as well as a stomach helper. Reisy also got some yogurt and peanut butter, mainly for her "nasties"-digesting stomach.
10. Meanwhile, the house has a faint and nice smoky smell to it; the burn is still on the burner, and "Mom-Mom"—even though "Momma"'s 26—forbids her from using the stove when she's not home—despite that "Momma" diffused the smoke, called "Mom-Mom" to tell her shortly after it happened, etc..

Cami's First Full Day Home

Having Cami home has been a series of ups and downs, and adjustments. The ups include Cami's learning of commands such as "Sit", Cami's and Reilly's development of a rapport, and loved ones' adulation of her—including the vet's good impression of her. The downs, on the other hand, include
Reilly's jealousy, Mom's failure to understand that Reilly was fine in picking up Cami by her scruff, and Cami's having accidents (including tonight, which is why she is currently on my lap—she awaits "Mimi" to change her crate towel).

At present, the 2.67-pound runt of her litter is on my lap—and hopefully staying there instead of falling off of my lap or climbing up onto the table, and hopefully not having an accident on my lap (Meanwhile, she just went back into "Mimi"'s arms; since she was whimpering and I decided to take all precautions to avoid my lap becoming her temporary potty pad.).

The Raisin Incident

My little miracle survived her Raisin Incident. Long story short, Auntie Michelle left granola with raisins on the floor. Reilly got one raisin and parts of one, which the vet pumped from her stomach. Her bloodwork came back "Perfect" as well, and she behaved well at observation. She ultimately pulled through only because Yehovah heard and listened to many call on His Name, praised be Yehovah—even if, God forbid, the results had turned out terribly. I dreaded the worst of the worst because of how toxic even a part of a raisin is to most dogs. Even if the results had been the worst, "Yehovah gives and Yehovah takes away—may the Name of Yehovah be praised"—and even, beyond our comprehension, the worst results would have been for the best, as Yehovah creates both light and darkness, and peace and chaos.

A Re-Recollection For VE Day and Mother's Day

The World War Two vet who I want to highlight in particular is my Great-Granduncle Bernard Stanley "Bernie" Czarnecki (of blessed memory). There were other family members whom served, though none of them endured what Great-Granduncle Bernie did. Being the youngest brother of my father's paternal grandfather, he was not yet even 21 when he first signed up to serve in the U.S. Army—he was born on March 15, 1917 and signed up on February 17, 1941—and all this after his parents and my great-grandfather came to the U.S. to escape the pogroms and live as Crypto Jews to avoid further Anti Semitism!  He honestly had no obligation to go to the continent from which his parents and brother Tony escaped. There he went, though; and he was discharged from the Army on December 12, 1945 due to shrapnel in his head and a botched operation that he underwent to remove it. The botched operation left his brain damaged, him permanently childlike, etc.; and he died at the age of 43 in the Lebanon, PA Veterans' Affairs' Home due to Schizophrenia and a Coronary Occlusion. Great-Granduncle Bernie never even got a Purple Heart, either.

The mother who I want to highlight is Great-Grandaunt Alexandria Alice Czarnecki Dombroski—the one who set up Great-Granduncle Bernie's Social Security account and got swindled by "Jankie" and "Susi" when Great-Granduncle Bernie died. As I have mentioned before, "Jankie" and "Susi" (real mensches! >:-/) took advantage of their childlike brother by affecting him to sign off his Social Security benefits to them for when he died; and they thus swindled Great-Grandaunt Alice in the process. 

Great-Grandaunt Alice already took care of Great-Great-Grandma when she was dying, headed up the house after Great-Great-Grandma died, and took on the role of a widowed mother when she could have (quite honestly) sent her son to live with relatives after her husband died. She did not have to help her brother—and she did, anyway.

"It's a shame what they[, Jankie and Susi,] did to Bernie," as Granduncle Tony overheard at the funeral home. It's also a shame what Jankie and Susi did to Great-Grandaunt Alice, and that few to none recognize Great-Granduncle Bernie and Great-Grandaunt Alice to this day. 

Apparently, You're Not Supposed To Ask Why a Jew Is a Jew Or a Ger Is a Ger; And If You Do...

Don't let the others get to you. I had the same question and desire to know the story of a man whose story I read while I was randomly browsing ("Were you born Jewish or did you convert? Either way, tell us your story. I am curious to learn."). Besides:

1) We know of the conversion of Rachav.

2) We know of the conversion of Rut, the history of which G-d devoted a whole sefer b'Tanakh.

3) That's part of how I suspected that I'm Jewish. My paternal grandfather was very dark skinned for such a Polish and Lithuanian American, and the case turned out to be that he was a Litvak and Belarusish Yid (on his paternal side. On his maternal side, he was an Ungarish and a Slovakish Yid on his maternal side.). By the way, both of my father's parents were Anusim and bnei-Anusim (Pop-Pop made a veiled confession that we are Jewish in one of our final conversations after he denied it for years, and Grandma also made a veiled confession once. Dad, on the other hand, is still like Pop-Pop was—not happy that I found out.). Also by the way, Mom is Jewish (She denies her heritage as well.).

In addition, Rabbi Jack Romberg once wrote, "It is the power of constant questioning that creates the dynamism that keeps Judaism relevant. The world changes and Judaism must respond to those changes." That includes, of course, asking how a Jew found out that he or she is Jewish and/or came to terms with and/or came to appreciate and live in light of his or her Jewishness, or why a gentile stated "thy people shall be my people, and thy God my God" as Rut stated to Na'omi.

PS For Messianic Jews, to tell our stories is a mitzvah. After all, e.g., Paul told his; and he wrote that those who don't believe can't believe if they don't hear. Peter also hinted as his.

The (For A Lack Of A Better Term) Danilovich Shtick That I Tried To Explain To One Guy...

"Shtick" is a censor for a profane English word in this case, by the way. Anyway...

I did read that two of his sons' middle names are "Anthony" and "Andrew". I'm not sure where they come from, although my father's grandfather was "Anthony John" Czerniecki, a grandson of "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" nee Daniłowiczówna Czerniecki. His mother was an Andrulewiczówna (originally Andrulevič[i]us, variants of which include "Andrews") and she had relatives named "Anthony" as well. Maybe that has something to do with it(?), given that the Danilovich-Andrulevich branches at least on my side, etc. stayed connected. Also, there was an Anton Danilovich in Kalvarija.
As I told Tammy, this is the kind of history that one just cannot make up. We're a Suwałki Gubernia branch (and Łomza Gubernia was within its vicinity), although we all came from Dunilavičy (That's where the last name comes from.). "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" ended up in Lipsk, which was actually once part of Minsk Gubernia. There were also Czerneckis/Chernetskys/etc. in Chavusy. I just don't know the exact connection. Besides, we're of the Crypto-Jewish branches.
I should add, too, that the naming patterns are eeire. e.g., Kirk Douglas, Michael Kirk Douglas, Dylan Michael Douglas; John Gregory Czarnecki (d. 2013), Gregory Czarnecki (took "Matthew" as a middle name), and I was going to be "John Gregory"(!) and my sister "Matthew Xavier"(! Mom's father was Francis Xavier.), and my cousin is Gregory John, whose dad is Gary John (Again, this is the kind of history that one just cannot make up.
Also, once of the Andrulewitz branches had Kasis (probably from Casis/Qissis; not "spit" or "Kazys", although one Kasis did change his name to "Kazys"). By the way, we do have Sephardic heritage somehow (Maybe that explains the naming patterns.).
PS The Andrulevicuses were originally from Stakliškės, and all of Great-Granddad's branches (Andrulewicz, &c.; Danilowicz, etc.; Czerniecki, &c.; and Margiewicz [originally Morgovich], etc.) did stay connected in Northeastern Pennsylvania. We stayed Crypto Jews after we became so during the pogroms and became estranged from much of the family.

As I've said before, I can't make this up...

My since-deceased paternal grandfather with his in-law daughter at her wedding in 2004. He was a great-grandson of "Katarzyna" (née Daniłowiczów) Czerniecka, whose father was Avraham "Wojciech" Daniłowicz (Incidentally, finding his Hebrew/Yiddish name took a while, though the JewishGen Given Names Index helped. Also, "Avraham" is pretty easy to easy to figure once you figure why Pop-Pop's uncles John Felix and Joseph were called "Jankie [Felix]" and "Susi [Joseph]", and how you even spell those diminutives in the first place.)

Add caption

Pop-Pop's obituary picture.

My father on July 24, 2013 (The Rusnaks are descendants of Julia [née Foczková] and Andrew Rusnak. Their granddaughter Joan is my paternal grandmother.). 

My father and his wife on March 6, 2013.

He was born shortly before Great-Granduncle Joe was, by the way.

You are free to look at more images, by the way.

Here's one that I found of my father on Google.

And his namesake, my cousin Greg (Well, my grandfather's, too; since my grandfather's name was Gregory.).

By the way, "greg czarnecki elk ridge" is one of the results that came up. Is there something that I need to know (e.g., a move? A job? Just like the Czarneckis, or at least the Daniloviches, to hide things.).









PS That photo in the to-be obituary....scariest "shtick" I've seen. That could be (or could've been) an age-progression photo of my dad. 


I've explained, I think (all while I've ground my teeth, having unfortunately inherited a bad habit from my father).