Somewhat Offbeat: A Lonely "Momma" In A Crowded Room—And Even Putting Reilly Through Something Like 2014 Again?

"Momma" has realized for a while that her mental-illness flareups due to worrying about herself and Reilly have put Reilly through something like 2014 again. As "Momma" wrote a while back:

Despite her OCD, etc., Reilly is honestly among the reasons that she's still alive. She missed much of her first year for several reasons, among them being—if not with most of them stemming from—that she'd oversleep due to a Depression flareup after—to make a long story short—a relative's ex-boyfriend's sister used even LinkedIn to cyberstalk her in order to intimidate she after she had confronted the ex boyfriend about something. At least, meanwhile, Reilly got some naps when "Auntie Michelle" would bring Reilly upstairs to her room and there while she overslept—and puppies need up to 20 hours of sleep per day.

With "Momma" often staying up later than she should and being more sleepless compared to many others, she has exhausted both herself and Reilly. Even worse is when she's been lonely even with Reilly—her "dogter"—around, and even when Camille—her furniece—is around as well—let alone when she's been in a crowded room or at least enough of a crowd, with or without Reilly.

Being lonely is pretty easy for "Momma" when she isn't trusted about Reilly, anyway, let alone when she doesn't have someone whom'd understand that "Momma" is trying her best to be a good "Momma" to Reilly—not to mention that she thinks that she knows who her helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy" could be down the road and he seems to be sending her incredibly-mixed signals if he is who she thinks that he is—either way, "Momma" wishes for both her sake and Reilly's sake that:

1. She knew who Reilly's future "Daddy" is.
2. That the person who's sending her mixed signals would just tell her, especially for Reilly's sake

Yet, They Never Believe "Momma" Until "Momma" Persists In Getting Them To Pet Reilly

Granted that "Mom-Mom" worked from home today and was holding Reilly on her lap. Still, Reilly did exactly as "Momma" said that she would—she let the home-improvement contractors pet her and gave them kisses. Reilly also barks because she hates when people leave in fact, Reilly is gregarious to the point at which she licked the spaying team as she came out of the anesthesia!

By the way, if God wills and "Mom-Mom" allows, Reilly and "Momma" would love to have family, friends, and others—including whomever Reilly's "Daddy" is or might be—to come over and meet and/or visit with Reilly on Thanksgiving! Maybe there'll even be venison 😉!

In all seriousness, Reilly would love to meet and regreet people. As for Camille, even though she did let one other person pet her today, she usually misses only "Mom-Mom", her "Mimi", Shelby, and a pitbull mix in her neighborhood (in a platonic way, mind you; though as for Camille's "Auntie Nicole" quietly wonders if Cam's platonic song of lament would ever apply to her and and Reilly's "Daddy" in another way—"Momma" definitely gets verklempt and bazorgt about Reilly not having a "Daddy" and herself not having a helpmate around the holidays).

Meanwhile, Cam is becoming more than just Jewishly emotive—and she's always Jewishly emotive (despite that there's apparently no Yiddish word for "emoter"—and thus no farklenervort for "Auntie Nicole"'s "plimenitse"—although she does call her "puppeleh", semi Yinglish for "little puppy",).

I Will Not Register As A Muslim—And I Won't Pass, Either

As the old saying goes, we've "been there [and] done that"—we passed during from the later 1700s until today; some other branches of the family did the same, and (even though I'm a Jewish Christian) passing for gentile to me is as good as returning to Crypto Judaism was for my great-great-grandparents—even though God used the non ideal for the ideal, it still didn't work in the end for them. Given that their parents were Orthodox ba'alei teshuvah, they might as well have stayed Orthodox—their cycle ended up being Orthodox -> Anusim -> ba'alei teshuvah -> Anusim.

In terms of my family being known as Ethnically Jewish—whatever anyone thinks of those of us whom are Jewish Christians—it's come full circle, at least for me: especially because I'm a Christian, I'm not passing for gentile—and I defy Trump to drag me to "the ashbin of history" in the name of whatever Jesus he worships, because it's not the One whom he's never asked for forgiveness.

Another Instance When Barking Was Good On Ri's & Cam's Part

This time, the instance involved a creature that makes the doberman that once ran down the street look like a Maltipoo—that creature happened to be a buck, and a huge back at that! Of course, "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" exclaimed "Holy ****!" when she saw him—he also walked up the street and behind a neighbor's house like it was nobody's business!

Had someone shot that buck, Reilly and Camille could've had venison with their "num nums" or as separate treats for a week! As was the case, though, the buck just went about his business—and as "Momma" types, Reilly is going on a walk with her cousin in tow and working-from-home "Mom-Mom" being the puppy ("dog") walker (and "dogs" are just really adult puppies).

(Incidentally, if only "Momma" had her eventual helpmate and Reilly's eventual "Daddy" in her and Reilly's lives—to be able to walk with Ri on one of her walks and to not walk alone on the weekends, e.g., would be incredibly nice—maybe even a Thanksgiving miracle will happen, and "Momma" will have something for which to be thankful like she hasn't been able to have in a long time—not to mention that Reilly, being a Matrilineal Poo[dle], would probably love to go on a hunt for venison someday if God willed.)

Is Camille Finally Honoring Her Jewish Heritage—Despite "Mimi" Having Camille Honor Mostly the Remote French One?

According to "Mimi", Camille listened "intently" as "Auntie Nicole" had V. Monti's "Czardas" playing. Perhaps Camille is honoring the unintentional honoree whose known first name is the Polish form of Camille's middle name—"Dominique". Camille is also watching as "Mimi" dances to a replay of "Czardas"—so is Reilly, sleepily trying to watch and feeling tired at the same, reminding "Momma" of a savtah or yeldah whom wants to take in the simcha of her kevorah mishpachah dancing and go to bed (Her facial expression pretty much conveyed, "Anti rotzah lishon!")

By the way:

1. "Monti" can be an Italqi name. 
2. The "father of czardas" was Jewish!

Incidentally, "Momma" is still holding out for that day when Reilly will have a "Daddy" with whom to dance—after all, "Momma" can't dance (She has Cerebral Palsy; and contrary to popular, Jews can dance—besides the obvious example of Fred Astaire, one example is the dancer Thomas Andrew.). Also, for only "Auntie Michelle"/"Mimi" to be able to dance with Reilly with Camille gets boring—can't "Momma" watch Reilly dance with someone else?

Somewhat Offbeat: Poor Reilly Is Exhausted Because Of "Momma" Dealing With A Difficult Time, Etc.

As "Momma" continues to deal with life closing in on her and Reilly, Reilly is being affected again—poor baby! Contrary to what "Mom-Mom" alleges, the case isn't that "Momma" doesn't care about Reilly—the case is actually that she does care about Reilly and wants a "Daddy" for Reilly and a helpmate for Reilly.

As she has written:

"Then have people wonder why you sit up alone at night thinking about both your future and poor Ri's future, despite that you should be taking Reilly back upstairs and going "night nights"—and you're amazed that even reading at night doesn't always help you fall asleep or sleep well enough, and you also know that Reilly's patiently waiting for you to finish reading before turning the reading light off affects her to be a little more sleepy during the day."

She was able to figure out that exhaustion is affecting Reilly and was affecting her to, as Mom-Mom stated in regards to how Reilly was affected to, have "been acting funny this morning." Mom-Mom, of course, lectured her when she figured why Reilly was "acting funny"—which had nothing to do with the uncooked quinoa noodle that she ate and refused to drop yesterday.

Meanwhile, part of why "Momma" is exhausted, etc. is because she feels that someone who could be Reilly's future "Daddy" may be—so to speak—sending her funny signals right now, and she just wants to know what he's thinking—is he going to be Reilly's "Daddy" in the future, and does he even want to be Reilly's "Daddy" and "Momma"'s helpmate?

"Momma" and Reilly are also not getting any younger—in fact, Thanksgiving falls right in between when "Momma" will be 26 ⅚ years old and Reilly 2⅔ years old—not to mention that "Momma" doesn't want to end up with the kind of disappointment and heartbreak that Gwen Ifill (of blessed memory) had:

"Ifill never married not had any children. When asked about in 2008, she still seemed hopeful. 'I don't know why I'm not married,' she told TIME. 'I just know I will be, so I don't sweat it.'" 

"Sadly she never got the chance to fulfill that wish. She died on Monday - just two days before she was scheduled to receive a prestigious award, the John Chancellor Award, at a Columbia University ceremony, reports."

She also feels like a female equivalent of Nick Carraway, whom F. Scott Fitzgerald made to have his full birthday in September (with no connection to Reilly's half birthday, of course):

"After a moment Tom got up and began wrapping the unopened bottle of whiskey in the towel.

'Want any of this stuff? Jordan? . . . Nick?

"I didn’t answer.

“'Nick?' He asked again.

“'What?

“'Want any?”

“'No . . . I just remembered that to-day’s my birthday.'

"I was thirty. Before me stretched the portentous, menacing road of a new decade...

"Thirty — the promise of a decade of loneliness, a thinning list of single men to know, a thinning brief-case of enthusiasm, thinning hair." 

Amazingly, "Momma" hasn't died of exhaustion and loneliness yet—and even more amazingly (and miraculously), Reilly hasn't died due to her "Momma"-affected exhaustion—maybe there's hope for "Momma" and Reilly. 

Offbeat: The Ring That "Momma" Wore When She Met Reilly

""Are you Reilly?" Mom asked Reilly this and fell in love with her firstborn "granddogter" immediately...To answer "Mom-Mom"'s question and assuage her dreads, Reilly ended up licking the ring on "Momma"'s right ring finger! To confirm her answer when they went into Joyce's house to get to know Reilly better, etc., she crawled up from "Momma"'s lap to her face and licked her face."

Just this weekend, "Momma" ended up finding the ring on the kitchen table, where "Auntie Michelle" had put it after she found it.

Incidentally, if only "Momma" had a different kind of ring on her left hand maybe by Hanukkah or Christmas (or at least some time soon, anyway), God willing; and, God willing, if Reilly's "Daddy" is who "Momma" thinks (or at least hopes) that he is.

"Auntie Michelle" took this picture of Reilly, who's in "Momma"'s lap,

ibid.

Perhaps "Auntie Michelle" and "Momma" contributed to Reilly's flouting of the camera,

ibid.

ibid. Incidentally, you do sometimes wish that they were that little again—or at least 8-9 weeks old. Reilly came home on May 24, 2014; and she was born on March 25, 2014—so, Reilly came home when she was almost nine weeks old and almost a month after she met her human family.

The ring today