Commentary: I Almost Died This Weekend (Don't Let Anyone Convince You Otherwise!); So...

Three lessons:

1. As a family friend pointed out, I need to gradually withdraw from caffeine days before the surgery next time.
2. "I will not die; but I will live to tell what Yehovah has done": Interpretation Two happened. i.e., I had severe complications, though I did indeed live. (The other three interpretations: live without complications; die physically and at least be in Heaven, and live at the Resurrection; and die physically and at least be in Heaven, and live at the Resurrection as well as perhaps so-to-speak live through whatever writings of mine, etc. others discover after I die.).
3. There are people whom will take the low-enough action of unfollowing a person on Twitter just because he or she hasn't tweeted in a day, even despite that he or she made clear that he or she was having a surgery! Of course, I have to wonder how those people treat their loved ones and others will illnesses both online and offline!

Meanwhile, here's the long story short regarding how I almost died (and relearned to never assume that any surgery, including a Baclofen Pump-replacement surgery, will be successful without complications as well as to never take life for granted):

After coming out of anesthesia successfully, I gradually had an onset of severe caffeine withdrawal. The withdrawal, from what I understand and experienced myself, totaled 10 hours (I thought that it was way less before I was told otherwise! Anyway, I had 10 hours) of life-threatening headaches, vomiting (including throwing up coffee), and near-fainting dizziness due to a caffeine headache that was resolved by a caffeine IV (and then I held down coffee!) and caffeine pills (Irony!). 

I was held back for almost two days, having not come home (away from home) until Sunday (and I was scheduled to come home on Saturday morning, and was anticipated to come home perhaps even on Friday afternoon!). As for the present, at least I'm home (away from home [L'shanah haba'ah b'Yerushalayim, 'im yirtzeh Yehovah!]) and recovering step by step.

I'm also learning and relearning to never take life or uncomplicated success in surgery or recovery for granted, and I'm advising others to learn and relearn from someone whom almost died (namely, me) to never take life or uncomplicated success in surgery or recovery for granted!

Commentary: A Few Reminders That Charles Krauthammer's Death Brings

1. Death doesn't discriminate. In the case of Dr. Charles Krauthammer (ז׳ל), death did not care that he was a psychiatrist and a prominent commentator. It also did not care that he'd endured quite enough in his life, being (as, as I should know that, each Jew is at least once in his or her lifetime) a victim of Anti Semitism and of an accident that left him with Quadriplegia during his college days and thereafter for the rest of his 68 years.
2. Like death itself, disabilities and illnesses will not discriminate. Quadriplegia did not care that Charles Krauthammer had significant aspirations and quite a life ahead of him, and Abdominal Cancer did not spare the same Dr. Krauthammer whom Quadriplegia had already afflicted—and by the way, I as a person with Spastic-Diplegic Cerebral Palsy can at least somewhat imagine how frightening lying on a deathbed due to cancer must've been to a person whom already had paralysis below the neck and became increasingly paralyzed as cancer weakened him (and I'd be surprised if it wasn't frightening at times).
3. Death, disabilities, and illnesses don't care how old anybody is, and only Yehovah (ב׳ﬣ) knows why people like Dr. Krauthammer didn't get even 70 years, let alone 80 by any reason of any kind of strength—since physical strength isn't the only kind of strength that can help a person reach at least 70-80 years, and even as much as 120 years.
4. Only Yehovah (ב׳ﬣ) knows why He foreordained that people like Dr. Krauthammer didn't and won't get 70 years, much less why some people won't live even too long after they are born, if they're even born at all. Only Yehovah (ב׳ﬣ) also knows why He foreordained that some people would go through suffering after suffering after being born, if they weren't foreordained to be miscarried or stillborn in the first place, and many people who have gone through suffering after suffering throughout history did wish that they themselves had never been born or lived too long after their births—and Job and the prophet Jeremiah were among those people, and I'm sure that Dr. Krauthammer (who was as human as everyone else) was among those people at one or another point in his life (as I've been quite a few times in my own life given my own circumstances).
5. There unfortunately are evil people whom are rejoicing in the death of Dr. Krauthammer, as there are always evil people rejoicing in others' heartbreaking deaths. Some of these people are probably also rejoicing as Senator McCain is dying of the kind of cancer which afflicts him, and some of them have likely even rejoiced in loved ones' deaths. These kinds of people have no regard for others' lives, much less any humble regard for their own, or else they would acknowledge that they as much as anyone else will have their own moments in which they have to face Yehovah and account for how they lived their lives.
6. When the news cycle moves on from Dr. Krauthammer's death, his loved ones aren't going to move on with it. Especially given that he endured having Abdominal Cancer that metastasized and certainly exacerbated his Quadriplegia in his final days, his loved ones' mourning may well go beyond the shloshim  (30-day) and the overall avelut (year of mourning) periods in which the news cycle will appear to have left them behind.  After all, any family members, friends, and others who've lost a beloved person don't measure or schedule their grief or mourning by how much news coverage or how many days in the news cycle that their beloved one's death gets, even after the newspapers, television networks, and online news pages seem to forget that the decedent in question even existed.

Future Article: "Pioneering Infinity Pool Not So Infinite After All: Glass Break, Water Spill Bring Pool's End And Infinite Costs, Including Fatalities"

Patrons of the Sky Pool at Houston's Market Square Tower died when the pool's plexiglass floor could not hold steadily, despite its thickness of eight inches. Investigators say that at least two patrons were horseplaying, somehow causing the floor to break—and they were among those whom fell to their deaths from 42 floors above the Market Square Tower entrance and 10 feet into Houston.

On condition of anonymity, a Houston Police Department official and one of the HPD's contacts at the Houston's Coroner's Office stated the following:

"We know that none of the swimmers survived—and you'd have to imagine that they wouldn't have survived, given that they fell from half-a-thousand feet and away from anything onto which they could've grabbed, used to break their falls, or what have. They also fell from 42 floors which make up 40 stories of the Market Square Tower—so, they fell from a height of 10.5 floors per story—no way were they going to survive that, even if the pool had been just on the first story."

As for other decedents, they had this to say:

"We are investigating to see whether anyone fell from the balcony itself—if, for example, anyone was hanging on to one of the pool walls, walking over to the pool to see what was happening, or even about to get into the pool—and either fell with the pool or fell when it was longer joined the balcony."

They also talked about whether anyone died on the ground below:

"We haven't heard, though we're looking into that—as glass and water rained down, and some glass and water rained down together as if rain and ice rained down during a winter storm, we have to see whether anyone was even just hurt as a result of anything such as an instant rush of glass and water falling on them. At a rate of 10.5 floors per story, though, the fall speed would've made likely that nobody who was hit by any glass or water would've survived—especially with so much glass and water rushing."

They additionally noted, "Some of the decedents may have died by drowning as they were falling, as if they were being rushed away in a current or down a waterfall."

The Houston Housing Authority and Houston Permitting Center, meanwhile, are looking into whether the Market Square Tower builders, maintenance personnel, and owners violated any structural-integrity or other building-code ordinances, thus causing the pool to be unsafe and unable to hold up from 10 feet out into

The Houston DA's Office will run its own investigation and will work with the police department, Housing Authority, Permitting Center, and possibly even the mayor's office and Texas gubernatorial staff.

In the meantime, the mayor's office and the governor's office have been notified, and the release of the names of the decedents is pending confirmation of their identities and notification of their deaths to their loved ones—and the impending release hinges especially on, per a rumor that is going around in Austin circles, whether one of the decedents is a loved one of the governor.

What The Outsider Looking In On Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's Deaths Knows For Sure

• A strong mother-daughter bond like they had cannot withstand the death of the daughter without the mother's death soon thereafter.
• Given Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's mother-daughter bond, Debbie Reynolds' death certificate ought to read something like:

"Cause Of Death: Stroke
"Due to: Medical distress
"Due to: Mental and emotional distress
"Due to: Recent death of daughter
"Contributing factor: Compromised cerebral artery
"Contributing factor: Age of decedent"

• Debbie Reynolds was 84 and lost her 60-year-old and only daughter, and firstborn child a day before. She also lost a colleague and frequent collaborator when she outlived her only daughter and firstborn child.

Meanwhile, keep Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's loved ones and friends—including Todd Fisher, Billie Lourd, and Gary Fisher—and everyone else whom's particularly affected by Debbie Reynolds' and Carrie Fisher's deaths in your thoughts and prayers.

Regarding The "Snowflakes" At Oxford

Some or even many of these researchers are researching what they and/or loved ones have endured, and they are researching to understand more what happened to them & to help others. By the way, would Heat Street mock (for example) Holocaust survivors and the descendants of Holocaust survivors and victims whom needed counseling and/or to leave certain lectures?

Even imagine, for example, a doctoral student whom is attempting to finish the degree that she forcibly had to suspend do to the Nuremberg Laws. While she sits in a lecture about Anti Semitism throughout history, she sees a picture of her twin sister while the pictorial slideshow plays. Given that her sister was among the Mengle Twins whom were murdered, she has flashbacks to when she was one of the twins whom "Dr." Mengle exploited and her twin was murdered shortly thereafter.

Also imagine that she sees a picture of the crematoriums, and flashes back to when her parents were burned alive in the crematoriums (This really did happen to Elie Wiesel's father on January 29, 1945, per "Night": "They must've taken him away before dawn and carried him to the crematory. He may still have been breathing.").

If she is a "snowflake", perhaps she was a cold and icy one whom (figuratively) melted in her own tears (tears that would not come before, since she had held them back).

Who's the "snowflake" now, Heat Street? Who's the cold and icy one now?

Originally On Writerbeat: Just Like Going To a Normative Jewish Funeral And Saying, "Do You Know Yeshua?"...

Some are using the Daesh terror attack against Brussels to push their own agendas. One of the agendas is Muslimophobia*. Another is Trumpism. Still another is blaming the EU for allowing in Middle Eastern refugees—aka, victim shaming—and still another is xenophobia and racism**.

Now is the time to simply comfort, console, grieve with, and support the Belgians—just like my role at a Normative (i.e., Non-Messianic) Jewish funeral would be to comfort fellow mourners among Tzion v'Yerushalayim, not ask "Do you know Yeshua?" or "Did [the decedent] know Yeshua?" or "Since [the decedent] died without knowing Yeshua, [he or she] is not in Heaven. Would you like to know how to stay out of Hell and avoid [the decedent]'s fate?"

Those who incite Muslimophobia, use Belgium's 9/11 to promote Donald Trump, or engage in shaming the Belgians and stereotyping are no better than, e.g., Jesus For Jesus under opportunistic and Holocaust-exploiting David Brickner or people whom go onto the comments section of "Times of Israel" articles about murder victims to proselytize—whom would similar to me were I to start giving the whole "Let me tell you about Yeshua" schpiel at, e.g., an Orthodox Jewish funeral (which is akin to what has happened in "Times of Israel" comments sections, with one incident in which a friend of a decedent's family friend had to get involved and ask people to refrain from proselytizing).

*Note that I did not say "Islamophobia". I grant that moderate Muslims are really Reform/Liberal/secular Mohammedans—and Jews in Poland were called "Mosaics", similarly and by the way; so, with all due respect, get over your political correctness. By the way, you could call Daesh, Al Qadea, etc. Orthodox Mohammedans or Ultra-Orthodox Mohammedans, since Mohammed was a violent man. By alienating Reform/Liberal/Secular Mohammedans ("moderate Muslims") are you going to help fight against Orthodox Mohammedism and Ultra-Orthodox Mohammedism?

**Stereotyping all Middle Eastern refugees as Mohammedans is wrong and may even be Anti Semitic in some cases, though you can be my guest if you want to risk labeling Jadid al-Islam (Mizrahi Anusim) and other Non Mohammedans, including Egyptian Jews and gentile Coptic Christians.

When (I Feel Like) I've No Reason To Go To Bed At Night (And I'm Sure That Others Can Relate)

I think that these few verses really sum up for me why (I often feel like) I've no reason to go to bed at night—not to mention that I am Jewish, and I'm experiencing part of Moshe's prophecies through no fault of my own (I was not yet born, though I was in the desert those millennia ago.):

"65 And among these nations shalt thou have no repose, and there shall be no rest for the sole of thy foot; but the LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and languishing of soul. 66 And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fear night and day, and shalt have no assurance of thy life.67 In the morning thou shalt say: 'Would it were even!' and at even thou shalt say: 'Would it were morning!' for the fear of thy heart which thou shalt fear, and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see."

Jews do indeed have higher rates of Depression and other mental illnesses. All the harder is when I am alone in general, anyway—

"9 Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour. 10 For if they fall, the one will lift up his fellow; but woe to him that is alone when he falleth, and hath not another to lift him up. 11 Again, if two lie together, then they have warmth; but how can one be warm alone? 12And if a man prevail against him that is alone, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken." 

Consider, too, that I have a physical disability as well (not to mention that I have OCD/Anxiety, ADD, and IBS):

"The poor is hated even of his own neighbour; but the rich hath many friends."

"Wealth addeth many friends; but as for the poor, his friend separateth himself from him."5 A false witness shall not be unpunished; and he that breatheth forth lies shall not escape."6 Many will entreat the favour of the liberal man; and every man is a friend to him that giveth gifts.

"7 All the brethren of the poor do hate him; how much more do his friends go far from him! He that pursueth words, they turn against him."

How many other people with disabilities—physical, mental (including mental illnesses), and other disabilities alike—can relate, I'm sure!

"And when ye offer the blind for sacrifice, is it no evil! And when ye offer the lame and sick, is it no evil! Present it now unto thy governor; will he be pleased with thee? or will he accept thy person? saith the LORD of hosts."

How people with disabilities and illnesses are used (including mocked), especially in the name of God! Then people wonder why I and others say "Were it morning!" in the evening and "Were it evening!" in the morning.

I'm sure, too, that, that was the experience of Great-Granddad Czarnecki 51 years ago today, after he'd had a rough life (regardless of that he caused much of it in his adult years) and lost his leg in a lawn-mowing accident on top of all that he endured—and he had Depression! (Great-Granduncle Bernie, BTW, had Schizophrenia; and Great-Great-Grandma likely had Schizoaffective Disorder).

Add caption

Short Biography Pfc. Bernard "Bernie" Stanley Czarnecki, U.S. Army 111th Infantry Division Medical Corps (WW2, DOW)

(As originally written for and sent to family friends)

Born in Sugar Notch, Pennsylvania on March 15, 1920, Bernard Stanley Czerniecki was the youngest son of Ashkenazi Crypto-Jews Julian and Alexandria Andrulewicz Czerniecki. Entering the United States Armed Forces shortly before he turned 21 years old, Bernard (now Bernard "Bernie" Stanley Czarnecki) served in the 111th Infantry Division Medical Corps of the United States Army for exactly five years—from December 12, 1940 to December 12, 1945. Bernie enlisted shortly before his brothers Edward ("Ed")—who enlisted on January 21, 1943—and Joseph ("Susi")—who enlisted on February 17, 1941—did (Incidentally, Bernie either re-enlisted on the same day as Susi enlisted or did not have his original enlistment recorded until the day that Susi registered.).

Having received a shrapnel-effected wound in combat, Bernie underwent surgery to remove the shrapnel. Given that the surgery was botched, Bernie was discharged from the Army at the Newton D. Baker General Hospital in Martinsburg, West Virginia. From Baker Hospital, he moved to the Veterans' Affairs Housing and Hospital complex in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. Living at the VA Housing and Hospital complex in Lebanon for the rest of his life, he succumbed to his received-in-combat injuries on July 16, 1963 in the VA Hospital in Lebanon.

He died of Schizophrenia and a Coronary Occlusion as a result of his battle wars at 6:30 AM EST in the VA Hospital on that July 16th. Having an autopsy performed on him by Dr. A.H. Heisey of Quentin, Pennsylvania, he was not received by his family and the George Strish Funeral Home in Ashley, Pennsylvania until July 20th. Once he was received, he was buried in Holy Family Cemetery in Sugar Notch.

Pfc. Bernard "Bernie" Stanley Czarnecki, then, was:

1. One of the Nazis' post-war victims of the Holocaust. Since Bernie came from a Crypto-Jewish family, he—along with his brothers Ed and Susi, along with his other family members—was a target of the Nazis solely on account of his Jewish heritage.
2. An unrecognized Jewish-American soldier of World War Two. Whether he even received a Purple Heart is unknown, and he has nobody who the Department of Veterans' Affairs considers to be a next-of-kin family member who may claim.
3. A Jew who had to go through the additional agony of having an autopsy performed on him—since Jewish tradition forbids autopsies except for in cases when the law and/or extenuating circumstances require that an autopsy is to be performed on the Jewish decedent in question.*

*All information comes from documents that were found on Ancestry.com, Bernie's nephew Anthony "Tony" John Czarnecki, Jr. (1946-2014) and other family sources, and prior knowledge. 

"Smile", A Short Story

"I love your smile," Andy told Rich. That was years ago, though. Now he didn't love his smile—or him. He couldn't love his smile; he couldn't love him, and he couldn't love anything or anyone else. No matter how he tried to do so, he just couldn't do so—he had dementia, and the dementia was wearing him down.

One of Andy's best friends came up to Rich one day, when Rich was hunched down from thinking about it. "What's the matter?"

"Andy doesn't love me anymore."

"What? He's always been like a dad figure to you."

"Well, he's sick—just sick."

"Don't talk about about Andy like that—just because you fell out with him doesn't mean that you have to talk about him like that. Do you hear me?"

Rich bit back tears, holding his lower lip with his front teeth as he tried not to cry. "Andy has dementia, sir."

Andy's friend looked stunned. "What?! Andy?....Oh, I'm so sorry."

Nobody but Rich really knew, anyway. Only Rich had gotten the phone call.

"I feel guilty, boy. I can't do it—I just can't do it. I'm so sorry."

"Can't what, sir?"

"Can't love you anymore—and can't love anyone anymore. I'm trying to love, boy. I just can't—I have dementia."

Then the radio blared a Lonestar song in the background. "You can't help how you don't feel, and it doesn't matter why."

Rich bit back tears, thinking a prayer. "Perfect timing, God," he mumbled inside of his head. He then told Andy, "You don't have to explain—I understand."

That phonecall was in the summer. The encounter with Andy's friend was in the fall. The visit with Andy was in the winter, and that's when Rich and Andy's friend played that Lonestar song for Andy.

Then Rich thought to himself what he wanted to tell Andy: "It's like the song says: 'Give me a chance to bow out gracefully...'."

"Go, boy," Andy demanded. Andy knew what Rich wanted: to leave Andy with his friend and go peacefully.

Rich laughed. "Last-minute lucidity; huh, sir?"

"Get out of here, boy." Andy knew that he was dying, and he knew that Rich knew it—and they both knew that they knew it. There was no second guessing and no questioning. Andy was ready to go.

Rich smiled and saluted Andy, a World War Two veteran. "Rest in peace, sir."

Andy then went "in style" after he had kissed Rich on the head and the cheeks—Rich was like a son to Andy, after all. Andy went with his friend beside him as the angels carried him home—and, fittingly, in the winter, for he had been in the winter of his life.

Rich, meanwhile, walked away from Andy's hospital room and down the hall, and he let the tears run down his face and let his pain show.

Information (including copyright information) about "Smile". The author does not intend copyright infringement whatsoever in any way, shape, form, circumstance, fashion or manner.

(Some Of) My Big Moments In 2013 (Including at the End)

This is not an exhaustive list, but it's way more than what I mentioned in the video:

1. Being called Geraldo Rivera's "favorite tweeter"
2. Establishing that I have kohen and Levi heritage through the Gajdoszes, Dudays, Foczkos, Rusznaks, and Levais.
3. My ITB Pump surgery (and I envy Geraldo—the lucky guy got well over a total of 100 Facebook and Twitter "likes", well wishes, etc. regarding his foot surgery. I got no more than 52 "likes" at a time—actually, that was my uncle who posted about me and the ITB Pump surgery. Geraldo's probably going to hate me for that, and I may not be his favorite tweeter anymore; but, c'mon—I was under anesthesia on both July 17th and July 18th. Plus, I was in Johns Hopkins until July 22nd, and then Mount Washington Pediatric Hospital until August 2nd. Furthermore, they had to give me caffeine and have me drink coffee to prevent further caffeine withdrawal and headaches. All I got was a few visits, comic books back from my dad, and a few other things).
4. My granddad passing.
5. My dad disowning me—but at least I got the atDNA test from him before he did.
6. Great-Granduncle Andy's passing—that's huge, given that my generation of Fosko Rusnaks is second in line to carry to torch (Dad's is the first.).
7. The first year that I did not attend the DeBoy Family Reunion (I was recovering from ITB Pump Surgery).
8. Almost (almost!) graduating college (One more paper to revise and turn in!).
9. Having major people follow me on Twitter
10. Figuring out that I'm related to Thomas Andrew, Michael Andrews, and Kirk Douglas (By the way, some of 2012 is going to have overlapped into 2013.).
11. Getting a resume written (Well, my friend wrote it for me. I still owe him a handmade tallit, even if I don't ultimately use the resume that he wrote.).
12. Being a formal סטודנטית ללשון העברית—and getting an "A" in הכיתה. (Of course, I don't why I thought "הרבה" was "class" as I was typing this.).
13. Turning 23 on January 23 (Ok, I really turned 23 on January 12, 1990; since that was טבת 26, 5773. יהוה, ברוך הוא, goes by the lunar Hebrew year. In Gregorian terms, I did turn 23 on the 23rd of January.).
14. Getting bullied by and watching vengeance against Krystal Keith and her dad.
15. Beginning to write my family-history memoir.
16. My aunt attempting suicide (I sat שבע for her for an hour days before—that was a big deal, and I didn't know that that's why she moved without telling me.).

By the way, my mom feels that 2014 is going to be my year...we'll see, Mom.

And Liz Was Right....

Pop-Pop was no longer alive within five years. While I can say only "Baruch Dayan Ha'Emet v'Melech Ha'Olam", I will certainly never pretend or believe that Pop-Pop was a great man. Also, the best that one can do for the dead is speak the truth about them. After all, and as my mom recalled to me:

Matthew 8:18-22
The Cost of Discipleship

New King James Version (NKJV)

18 And when Jesus saw great multitudes about Him, He gave a command to depart to the other side.19 Then a certain scribe came and said to Him, “Teacher, I will follow You wherever You go.”
20 And Jesus said to him, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”
21 Then another of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, let me first go and bury my father.”
22 But Jesus said to him, “Follow Me, and let the dead bury their own dead.”

I don't know where he is, but I do know that there are fools who are deceived into thinking that Jack Czarnecki was a great man. Even if he turned around at his final moments, that does not make him to have been a great man. I am also quite sure that many of the dead who will be at Pop-Pop's funeral will not want me there, so I would not mind if I am even disinvited.

Apparently, though, Dad wants me and my sister there. I can guarantee you that, nonetheless, his wife and stepdaughters, his nephew Greg, and his cousin Janet—for example—will not want me there. In fact, I'd be honored if they would not want me there. They are my enemies, not my brothers and sisters. While Scripture states that I ought not rebuke fools—for they will hate me more if I do so—and that I ought to love my enemies, it does say:

Matthew 5:22

But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

It also says to "judge righteously" (Proverbs 31:9)—and without rehashing the discussion, I will remind you that it never says to not judge; it just says not to judge hypocritically. Also, I am angry at Greg and Janet—among others—with cause. Firstly, they are fooled into thinking that the man who committed second-degree murder against his mother with murder-malice intent was a great man. Secondly (as I have discussed before), Janet was absolutely okay with Great-Grandma's vile actions against Vilmosz Rusznak; and as far as I know, even Pop-Pop would not have been that vile—certainly, his parents were not. After all, Great-Granddad Czarnecki's families stopped talking to us when we became Anusim (except for the deed change regarding the farm in the 1960s), and the same certainly would have gone for Great-Grandma Czarnecki's families—in fact, one family member had a daughter by the name of Jutte Jurkovitsova within the Turczocz, Hungary Jewish community; so she wasn't looking to become an Anusit or Messianic Jew anytime soon. So, they were not given the opportunity to help, anyway; and they would have if they could have. Thirdly (and I'm being generous by not bringing up specifics), I know that Greg has some very-Pop-Pop-like sins for which he still needs to repent.

As I stated, with Greg and Janet among many of the dead being at Pop-Pop's funeral and probably not wanting me there, I would not mind if I am even disinvited. After all, I have no time for council among the wicked. "Depart from me, you evildoers, [f]or I will keep the commandments of my God!" (Psalm 119:115)

Whether Jack Czarnecki is merely physically dead or dead altogether, only God (B"D"E) knows—he apparently died peacefully and very quickly, even within five second of being administered morphine and in his sleep. Scripture does say, "When the righteous turns from his righteousness and commits iniquity, he shall die because of it. But when the wicked turns from his wickedness and does what is lawful and right, he shall live because of it." (Ezekiel 33:18-19) So, he could have been made right with his Maker. In either case, though, "let the dead bury their own dead" and may I be disinvited from the funeral if—God forbid—I would have to have council among them. "I have hated the assembly of evildoers, [a]nd will not sit with the wicked." (Psalm 26:5) After all, Jesus warned, "“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple.  And whoever does not bear his cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." (Luke 14:26-27)

I've Just Been Busy...

For example, I got an over-15-page paper done yesterday. I also have to finish the first part of my second research paper over the next two days. After that, I have a Hebrew oral exam for which to study. I also have a yahrzeit to observe (To observe it is not exactly conducive while Mom is playing Christmas music.).

The yahrzeit is for Great-Granddad Czarnecki. On this day, Kislev 27, he committed suicide. He was a troubled man, and hurt others; and he was definitely a candle in the wind—lights can be threatened with extinguishment, and spark up and burn others to try to stay burning.

He also came from a troubled family for sure. For example, Michael Andrews—handsome and talented, but clearly into an inappropriate lifestyle. As for Thomas Andrew, he died from a "long illness"—I suspect AIDS—and he had that awful Washleski cousin who—and it just hit me—used "Tufty" to promote Jack Washleski (and yes, I changed that Wikipedia entry. Get over yourself, Mr. Washleski. Your Jack Washleski could've had his own page if you wanted to talk about your cousin. And if what you say is true, that your uncle loved his wife's nephew more than his own children is just sad—and it maybe explains your cousin Thomas, but how you forget him! And how you deleted the information about William, which I had to add back into the entry! Was William's service nothing to you?).

The Andrulewiczes by themselves were clearly troubled, and this to say nothing of the Danilowiczes (Kirk, Michael, and Mia, anybody?) and the Czerneckis.

By the way, Pop-Pop, you are an Andrulewicz. You are your dad's son. Your brother, with all due respect, is wrong when he says that you look more like a Trudnak—you look like both of your parents—you are almost a spitting image of your cousin Thomas, and don't you forget it.

"If we have Jewish blood..."—well, I do know about it, and I'm proud of it. That you aren't is a shame. That your dad committed suicide in of itself is a shame without adding that he committed suicide during HaHag Hanukkah.

And that I couldn't know how God blessed the nations even through our troubled family is a shame. 

I Dedicate This To the Foczkos, Etc. Who Were Never Properly Mourned, And...

That includes those of us who went through becoming Anusim and going through the Shoah (such as little Joszef Foczko of blessed memory). "El Male Rachamim" is a prayer that is recited in memory of the deceased in the Ashkenazi Jewish community. Shlomo Katz HaKohen sang this version.

One Thought That Occurred To Me After Engaging With Marianne Theresa Johnson-Reddick's Obituary

The first time that this has really turned over in my mind, much less even occurred as a thought: every day that Joan Gaydos Czarnecki had to deal with her mother, she probably had her questioned what her mother could do to her. She never has even visited her mother's grave. This is part of why the horror that Mary Rusnak Gaydos committed cannot be covered up--that is, not just for Vilmosz's et. al.'s sakes (though they will never come back in this lifetime and age--and do I believe that Yeshua was with them in their final moments at Auschwitz, so I'm willing to bet that we will see them with others who are asleep in Yeshua and will rise at the Rapture).

Tell me how that Grandma still won't even admit the indirect abuse that she received is okay. Tell me how that her mother ultimately turned relatives over to the Nazis is a form of abuse that she, then a six-to-eight-year-old child, should get over--especially when her older sister is holding back those supposedly-innocuous letters that were exchanged. Tell me how she can even speak about the abuse when Dr. MaryAnn Gaydos, who wields quite a bit of power in the family, won't speak about it and even once told me that she didn't want to be part of the family tree that I made--and she knows as much as I know that she said that because I found out that we are Jewish.

Keep in mind that if Dr. Gaydos tried to kibosh me from piecing together and telling our real story, she's making sure that younger sister Joan shuts up (and that others shut up) about Joan's and her mother refusing to help Vilmosz, Zoli, et. al. when they literally risked their necks and reached out to the Anusi branch for the sake of piku'ach nefesh (After all, we were minim, koferim, v'meshumadim to them; yet they somehow took a chance at trusting us and asking us for help.).

Again, and to sum up, let's just say that the fact that Great-Grandma Gaydos ultimately turned relatives over to the Nazis is a form of abuse that Grandma, then a six-to-eight-year-old child, rightly could never get over and probably had her questioning every day what her mother could do to her. She never has even visited her mother's grave.

By the way, Iwan Rusnak was murdered in 1942; Vilmosz, Zoli, et. al. in 1944.

Does Someone Want Me To Die? It Looks Like They Do...

And there, ladies and gentleman, is part of why I can get and be quite ashamed of the city in which I was raised. There's also another person for whom I have to live to be a thorn in his or her side...what a shame. To live to spite those who claim that they care but really want you dead is not easy, but you have to stick around to expose their claims for what they are and be a thorn in their side.

   

Columbia, Maryland arrived from google.com on "The Nicole Factor" by searching for nicole czarnecki suicide.

13:59:23 -- 7 hours 10 mins ago

A "Sesame Street" Video and James Gandolfini's Passing

(Shoutout to my sister for sharing this with me)

Now we know why James Gandolfini went: he was too good for this world. Speaking of being scared, I'm now scared of why I'm possibly still alive: I'm not "too good for this world". May James Gandolfini's life teach us two lessons: 

1. "Precious in the sight of the Lord Is the death of His saints." (Psalm 116:15; also see Isaiah 57:1-2 and Ecclesiastes 7:1) 
2. May we all live lives that will make us too good for this world and our deaths precious in the Lord's sight.

Besides, you've gotta be a saint if you're Tony Soprano and you're humbling yourself by appearing on a childrens' show--and celebrity isn't what you ultimately seek. ("I just don't think I'm that interesting. I don't think what I have to say is that interesting. To hear me go, 'Blah, blah, blah, blah'.")

There's The Paradox of Hope and Reality, Because...

Oftentimes, hope and reality do not match up. Expecting the best is a mistake--"Always suspect the worst of others; you'll rarely be disappointed." Always suspect the worst of others and yourself, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when the best happens--just don't expect the best to last long, let alone forever. Even a fruitful septuagenarian or octogenarian life--let alone a nonagenarian or centenarian life--is a gift. Only where hope is, is where the best and better will last forever--and hope is in the Lord alone.

Otherwise, forget even hope: reality, especially without hope, is a screwy business--and what about death, which ends reality in this lifetime for those who are taken by it? If you're going to Heaven, then you know where you're going. But if you're going to Hell (and you probably are if you're unsure if you are [though I'm not talking about if you're just having doubts], or if you're sure that you're not, going to Heaven), take Dante's admonition seriously--"Abandon all hope, ye who enter [Hell]." 

By the way, Hell is a Jewish concept--Scripture aside, "the Talmud [of all books is] quite descriptive of the place we now call hell...The Talmud is much more detailed concerning the fire and darkness of hell, even supplying descriptions concerning its size, divisions and entrance gates." If you need proof, go look at what the P'rushim think about Jesus and Hell.  The P'rushim particularly hated Jesus because, at the very least and a point on which Messianic Jews and Non-Messianic Jews can agree, Jesus "transgress[ed many] of the enactments of the Scribes"--punishment for which, according to the "Scribes", is death and boiling in semen or fecal matter--and the P'rushi scribes exalted themselves, including Eliezer ben-Hyrcanus HaKohen, to be Yehovah: "My son, be more careful in the words of the Scribes than in the words of the Torah, for in the laws of the Torah there are positive and negative precepts; but, as to the laws of the Scribes, whoever transgresses any of the enactments of the Scribes incurs the penalty of death."

Using the P'rushim as an example, you would best suspect the worst of others--there is no end to how any human being (whether Jewish or gentile, rich or poor, politician or constituent, clergy or layperson, or any other kind of person) can make life Hell enough for even him or her self--much less and/or let alone for others. " Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help....Happy is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God". "[P]ut your trust in the LORD."

As Controversial And Ill Timed As This Seems...

When anyone dies, I (or at least I should) always hope that they were saved or came to salvation if they were not saved prior to their dying moments (As for the ones who were saved, that "[p]recious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints." is obvious. Nobody has to worry about where the saints are going.). As for those who weren't saved, their fate depends on their works. For the saved, "This is He who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ; not only by water, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who bears witness, because the Spirit is truth.  For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one.  And there are three that bear witness on earth: the Spirit, the water, and the blood; and these three agree as one."

Therefore, grace is indeed a Jewish idea, and that grace is a Jewish idea must be communicated to especially the Jewish soul before he or she even has to face death. For, God chose the Jews and then any gentiles who are to be grafted in. So, share but don't proselytize;  let the Jewish soul choose as he or she will, but don't squander any opportunity to share the Gospel with any Jewish soul. You are guilty, by the way, if you do not take the opportunity to share when you called to share ; and you are fit for Hell if you pervert the Word of God--whether the Hell be in Hell itself or even in Heaven, even though you escape Hell itself. 

I myself testify as one whose Believing Jewish family members--e.g., Mark Gavrish--have helped save their Non-Believing (even Crypto-Jewish) family members (v.g., Stanislaw "Stanley" Czarnecki, z'l). I also testify as one who has family members in Hell (and if you think that that's easy and not troublesome for me to say, think again--I have gotten heat for speaking out against family members and their actions, for example, and even disbelief. One example is the dishonest Claire Bradley--I even offered that she contact Granduncle Tony, so that he could tell her what I told her happened to Great-Granduncle Bernie; and what does the perverter do? Cut out that part that I told and make what I wrote to her sound like she wrote it herself--and those are the kinds of people who run FindAGrave, by the way [Long story, but now you know why I detest  FindAGrave, though that site is a necessary evil for the time being.]).

In conclusion (and writing this blog entry with the sad guarantee that, verbi causa, Great-Granduncles Johnkie and Suzy are in Hell right now), I urge you to communicate to especially unsaved Jewish souls that grace is a Jewish idea before the time passes, and let them choose what their fate will be. 

Sitting Shiva Isn't Always About Physical Death

I know this because I'm well read enough and have delved enough into my own family history. Shiva can be sat when:

1. A child or other relatives intermarries (This happened to the late Ruth McBride Jordan, nee Rachel Deborah Shilsky [Ruchel Dwajra Zylska] when she was even just in a relationship with Dennis McBride.). This normally doesn't happen if a child marries solely a "shvartze"--as the Yiddish pejorative was thrown about back then. This happens if a child marries any gentile who doesn't convert or is not accepted for conversion into Judaism.
2. A child or other relative converts out of particularly Non-Messianic Judaism into--e.g.--Roman Catholicism (or other so-called "denominations of Messianic Judaism [Christianity]"), even if they remain Non Messianic and are merely Anusim. Sometimes, shiva isn't even sat and there's a rowdy hatefest where the convert's "death" or death is celebrated (See "Evel Rabbati", which takes work to find but is worth fighting. As the Anti Semites like to tripe on about and the Karaites note, this is what the P'rushiyin do not want you to know.). The P'rushiyin particularly hated Jesus, and revisionists like to pretend that another Yeshua is mentioned, but all one has to do is look at Bava Metzi'a 59b and the New Testament to get the idea pretty quickly.
3. A child or other relative acts so despicably that the circumstances play out as if he or she is dead, would rather be dead, or would be better off as such.
4. A child or other relative is in circumstances in he or she is dead, would rather be dead, or would be better off as such. For example, a child who is inevitably going to die of terminal cancer and not be miraculously healed may have shiva sat for him ot her early on.

Shiva can always be reversed for the living. For example, Ruth McBride Jordan did get back in touch with one of her cousins who she hadn't seen in years and who was in California. Even relatives who had sat shiva for her (viz. her aunts Mary and Bernadette) had contact with her, even though that contact was telling her that they sat shiva for her and she was to stay out of their lives (which Mary did)--as well as slamming the door in her face when she reached out to them for help (which Bernadette did).

In my own family's case, I have been in touch with Rusnak relatives before. Also, the Czerneckis did write to us once to ask for the deed to be changed. Shiva will also be reversed for Aunt Mary if she ever reaches out to me again (See #3 to give you an idea of what she did. All that I'll say is that, that took hutzpah to cut me off without at least telling me why she would--at least Ruth McBride Jordan's aunt Mary told her that she cut her off and gave her a hint as to why she did.).

Shiva cannot be reversed for the dead (unless they of course miraculously rise again).

When You Hang Around Jose Baez...

Your brain cells have to go down a bit--or perhaps take a break. Either way, I don't know how Geraldo Rivera could and did form a friendship with Jose Baez, and I don't know how Jose Baez sleeps at night--I couldn't sleep after sneaking an extra shot of Irish Cream for my coffee on Friday (I was up at 7:00 on Saturday confessing to my mom, and I just got the cold on Friday--I needed the sleep, but I couldn't sleep.). How does Jose Baez sleep knowing that Casey Anthony is a murderer who was not sexually abused by her dad?

If nothing else, doesn't he know how Johnnie Cochran died? How much more will a man who was complicit in infanticide die a terrible and horrible death? I couldn't sleep just knowing that brain cancer would be the least of my problems. Also, how does Jose Baez sleep knowing that a man who was complicit in pedophilia--Joe Paterno--just died of cancer? As I asked, how much more will a man who was complicit in infanticide die a terrible and horrible death--though pedophilia and infanticide are almost equally (if not as equally) horrible? 


The difference with pedophilia and infanticide is this: the pedophilia victim wishes that he or she is dead, or may even end up dead (whether, such as in the cases of JonBenet Ramsey and Jessica Lunsford, the pedophilia is accompanied with infanticide; or the pedophilia affects the suicide of the victim); whereas the infanticide victim (assuming that he or she does not have pedophilia with which to also deal) is dead.


On that note, what is Jose Baez's claim that Casey Anthony is a victim of pedophilia going to do to real pedophilia victims? For instance, the claim will affect real pedophilia victims to not come forward for dread that they will not be believed or at least stood up for--case in point, Joe Paterno did not stand up for Jerry Sandusky's victims; so one can imagine how a false claim of pedophilia made by an acquitted murderer's attorney will affect other pedophilia victims to be disbelieved and left unspoken for.


In conclusion, I--feeling guilty for even taking an extra shot of Irish Cream and being unable to sleep--cannot imagine how Jose Baez--a man who represented and helped acquit a murderer by claiming that she she was molested as a child, and who will affect real victims of pedophilia to not come forward--sleeps at night. I also cannot imagine how he sleeps at night with a more horrible death than the deaths of Johnnie Cochran and Joe Paterno hanging over his head.


I also can't imagine how and why Geraldo Rivera could and did form a friendship with Jose Baez.