How Reilly Marked Her Gregorian Month Birthday—aka, Part Of Why "Momma"'d Like An Answer From Reilly's Possible "Daddy" One Or Another Way

Reilly's day on "Momma"'s Gregorian year birthday was fine enough for Reilly—cue the reverse, inverse, or whatever you want to call how bad "Momma"'s day on Reilly's Gregorian birthday was for "Momma". To be fair, Reilly promised to be a better girl tomorrow when she came downstairs and got scritches just now—nonetheless, Reilly marked her Gregorian month birthday similarly to how she marked her Hebrew month birthday. Here are some highlights:

1. She decided to leave poor Camille inside by herself while she was going potty—and of course, Camille got a short end of one of Reilly's sticks just as she did on Reilly's Hebrew month birthday.
2. Why Camille was left inside is as follows: when "Momma" accidentally did not hook the extendable leash through the other leash's hoop, Reilly decided to let a pupchase ensue—and that pupchase included no less than Reilly eating "nasties" (including mulch), getting into "Mom-Mom"'s garden, deliberately running away from "Momma", and not coming inside until she heard "Camille" bark at something.
3. When Reilly seemed like she was going inside, she tried to run back out in the backyard.

Meanwhile, "Momma" isn't supposed to be frustrated? "Momma" is supposed to accept how Reilly takes advantage of her disability, even though Reilly doesn't know that that's why she can outmaneuver "Momma"? "Momma" is supposed to tolerate and endure the lectures from "Auntie Michelle" about she can do more than she thinks than she can, as if she doesn't know herself well enough?

Also, not having a helpmate for herself and "Daddy" for Reilly continues to exhaust her and Reilly—maybe that's part of Reilly stubbornly went back into "Momma"'s room, jumped up onto "Momma"'s bed, and refused to get off of the bed and downstairs until "Momma" got out of the bed.

Can't she at least get an explanation from Reilly's possible "Daddy" for her and Reilly's sakes? How long must she ask this of  Reilly's possible "Daddy" (since she knows that he wants something and can't figure out just what)—and ultimately יהוה—or she supposed to, for example, depend on "Auntie Michelle" and "Momma" for the rest of her and Reilly's lives?

By the way, it's 1:29 AM EST on January 26th as "Momma"'s finishing this blog entry, and she began writing this at the end of the 25th—and poor Reilly's waiting as patiently as usual.

A Planned Book On Camille, When "Mimi" Doesn't Spend Enough Time With Camille, Etc..

With the second edition of Reilly's book out, "Momma" gave away another copy (and as she's said, she really is working on trying to become an author)—and she polled to see if people would read a book on Camille (and "Auntie Nicole" made the giveaway a "no vote, no entry" one).The results are as follows:

If Nicole Czarnecki were to write a book on Camille, would you buy or try to win it?

Yes76%

No2%

More likely than not16%

More unlikely than likely5%

Incidentally, "Auntie Nicole" fails to understand why anyone who wouldn't read the book on Camille would enter the giveaway but for a few reasons such as:

1. He or she likes trying to get free books, maybe even—in this case—to resell it offline if it's a paperback book, e.g.—and yes, there really are people whom hate "Auntie Nicole" that much (notwithstanding that, e.g., Reilly is currently napping by her "Momma"—at least some sentient creature loves "Momma" on a consistent basis, compared to even many fellow human sentient creatures in her life). If he or she also tried to get the book to resell it, or—on the other hand—get it just to make fun of it and/or have his friends make fun of it, that would not surprise Reilly's "Momma"—even "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" made fun of it at first. 
2. He or she is a big fan of Reilly and not Camille—poor Camille. 🙁
3. He or she wants to get a free book for a friend.

Meanwhile, "Auntie Nicole" can relate in filial and non-filial ways to Camille's filial pain—even "Mimi" doesn't spend enough time with Camille (Who shouldn't own a puppy, by the way "Mom-Mom"? Even "Mom-Mom" has acknowledged that "Mimi" doesn't prioritize Camille as much as she should, and how hurtful "Mom-Mom" can be only adds to when "Momma"'s Jirish temper can be affected.). As a result of "Mimi" not prioritizing Camille as much as she should, Camille can get sleepy and feel depressed—and as recently as Sunday, this happened—and Cam wakes, perks, and lights up when "Mimi" comes into the room to actually spend time with her and, e.g., puts that darn Kindle or laptop down for once—even under guilt of being teased that, e.g., "Auntie Nicole" will become Cam's "Momma" if "Mimi" doesn't come downstairs from a long-enough nap to spend time with Cam.

In a similar way, "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma"'s loneliness and confusion re what exactly Camille's possible "uncle" and Reilly's possible "Daddy" wants continues to affect una noche oscura del alma en parte de su vida—a dark night of the soul in part of her life—as she is trying to be patient and wait on God to have Reilly's possible "Daddy" reach out to her—and patience in general is all the harder for a person with OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD to learn.

How fitting, by the way, that a converso coined that term!

Sobering Thoughts Re Reilly, Camille, Time, &c..

"Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" was thinking a few days ago and just thought again:

1. That today is Reilly's fourth Little Christmas and Camille's third
2. That Reilly will be four in March (not to mention four on the Hebrew calendar) and Camille will be three in March (and also three on the Hebrew calendar, regardless whether 5777 has one or two Adars—both Biblically and Gregorianly speaking, they're not that far away from each other in terms of birthdays. Besides, March 25, 2014 was 23-24 Adar II 5773 and March 27, 2015 was 6 Nisan 5775)
3. That this year will be Reilly's fifth Passover year (counting 5774, 5775, 5776, and 5777 as the previous four years) and Camille's fourth.
4. How when Reilly came home seems like only yesterday sometimes, and then when Camille came home seems like only yesterday sometimes—and now both Reilly and Camille are adult puppies!
5. In canine years, Reilly will be 40.7 years old and Camille will be 32.3 years old (assuming the human life expectancy to be 120 at max).
6. "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" will be 28 years old in human years this month on both calendars (Today is 18 Tevet 5777—since since January 23, 1990 was 25-26 Tevet 5759.). In canine years, then, she'll be well over 120 years!
7. Time passes, and Reilly's getting older calendar wise while "Momma"'s getting old overall! (Not to mention that a painful anniversary for "Momma" compounds the fact that Reilly's getting older and "Momma"'s getting old!)

Symphony Of Lights Puppy Walk With Reilly and Camille Last Night

A few highlights:

1. Reilly and Camille saw one of their neighbor friends, Hero.
2. Reilly met matches Cullie (a Shitzu, from whom she even backed off once she sniffed her!) and Pippin.
3. Camille had a positive car ride experience, although she was at first stubborn about even "Mimi" getting on sweater on her (as pictures below show)!
4. Reilly and Camille walked for longer than they normally would, and they made new human and canine friends!

Reilly had also been excited the night before. ("Reilly, do you want to go see the Symphony of Lights?" got kisses as answers.)

"Mom-Mom" had to help "Mimi" get Camille's sweater on Camille.

To the disappointment of "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole", Reilly and Camille ran out of the time to see "Santa".

"Momma" uses this as a reminder to Reilly that "Santa's watching!"

This is actually an infamous fixture at the Symphony of Lights every year.

Reilly loved whatever attention she got!

Winston and Reilly are both sweet and jealous puppies.

"Momma" can hope for her and Reilly's sakes. 

Somewhat Offbeat: Well, It Happened: i.e., "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" Had A Panic Attack, And...

She couldn't stop the inappropriate barking that Reilly and Camille did right away. That she lost a scrunchie in her room panicked her enough, since the scrunchie could've been fatal to Reilly had she gotten it. Then she fell as she went to try find it, although she (thank God) fell on a box that caught her fall. She at least found it on the side of her bed where Reilly couldn't get to it after that, though the panic attack had set in by then.

That she had other matters on her mind, including that she hasn't gotten a clear answer yet re a certain matter, only exacerbated the panic attack. She therefore had lay down, and she could not stop as Reilly and Camille inappropriately barked for quite a long time and thus further exacerbated a panic attack. She even had to tip Reilly's bed gently at least once and Camille's bed gently a few times to try to get them away from the window a few times.

Reilly and Camille finally listened, and "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" talked especially to Reilly about the inappropriate barking. "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" is also lucky that her panic attack wasn't a heart attack, since her maternal grandfather died that way. Imagine, then, if the irony (or whatever it is) if Reilly helped kill the very "Momma" whom named Reilly "Reilly Rosalita" for her maternal grandfather's mother and mother grandmother, not to mention if Camille helped kill the "Auntie Nicole" whom found out that "Mimi" named inadvertently named Camille Dominique after other relatives, and that "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" ended up being right about the two namesakes causing her to have her name carved on a tombstone at a young age!

At least "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" would've gotten the last laugh, or at least an "I told you so", in death were "Auntie Michelle"/"Mimi" wrong about whether Reilly and Camille would kill her!

Excerpt From An Upcoming Book: The Ole Field Five, Plus One! (Language Warning)

Just before I began to write this, I'd been planning to write about the gang in my neighborhood whom I call "The Old Field Five". Then my sister told me about another Old Fielder whom's coming into the neighborhood (God willing). Thus (again, God willing), there's now the Ole Field Six—or at least there will be an "Ole Field Six" if "Ole Field Six" has a ring to it (and again, if God wills—and mind you, everything—whether for good or for evil—should have the "If God wills" caveat with it.)

As for the Ole Field Five being the Ole Field Five...just as I've said about everything else in this book, shit that I can't make up and other stuff—and this falls into the category of other stuff!

I won't say what neighborhood is my neighborhood (or what's my neighborhood for now, anyway—God willing, I'm making aliyah and calling another neighborhood  truly  my neighborhood someday—I as a Jew don't belong in the Diaspora, and didn't belong in the Diaspora even when I didn't know that I'm Jewish). After all, that I as a Jew, woman, and person with disabilities am vulnerable enough without the Anti-Semitic misogynists and ableists knowing where I (even temporarily) live. Besides, since all of us whom are Jews are responsible for one another and are to love our neighbors as ourselves, I as a Jew would be putting my Jewish and gentile neighbors in danger if I stated where exactly the Ole Field Five are neighbors and will have a sixth Ole Fielder as a neighbor soon.

In addition, I have especially my own Ole Fielder, Reilly Rosalita, to protect—Reilly trusts her "Momma" to not let anyone hurt her, notwithstanding that there are sadly quite a few people whom would like to hurt Reilly's "Momma" by trying to hurt Reilly—and I am well aware of how cruel people can be. I'm also aware that I have part of the legacy of a family friend named Diane to continue, since there'd be no Ole Field Five without Diane—after all, she referred us to Ole Field Farm's owner, Joyce Fleming, and she surely wouldn't anybody hurting me or Reilly, let alone any of the owners of the other Old Field Fivers (including my sister) or any of the Old Field Fivers (including Camille, my sister's Maltipoo and Reilly's once-removed cousin).

Speaking of Diane and her legacy, here's more shit that I can't make up: while she got to meet Reilly the last time that she saw us, she got to meet only Reilly during the last time that she would ever see us in this lifetime. She didn't even get to meet Camille before she died, and Camille wasn't even born until shortly before she died—Camille was born in March of 2015, and Diane died of Lou Gehrig's Disease in July of 2015.

Even shittier was the way that we found out that she'd never have a chance to meet Camille in this lifetime: someone called us to tell us that she died of ALS. What made that shitty for us was that:

1. We now understood that the last time that we saw her would be the last time that we'd ever see her in this lifetime.
2. Her last visit with us was marred for her by the fact that she was going through the final stages of ALS/Lou Gehrig's Disease, not to mention that her decline due to Lou Gehrig's Disease (about which we had no idea, despite that it was happening in front of us) was exacerbated by the distress due to the then-recent death of her brother to whom she was very close (about which we did know and which she mentioned). We didn't even know that she had Lou Gehrig's Disease in the first place, and we felt bad that we couldn't help her as her ALS and her distress over her brother's death affected her significantly!
3. She referred us to Joyce only to have her once chance to meet Reilly affected by the throes of end-stage ALS flareups!

Only God understands why He had that happen to Diane, and it nonetheless hurts. I've even said that to the owners of Camille's maternal sister Shelby (whom Diane would've also loved to have met—and they got Shelby because they wanted to get a puppy from whomever we got Reilly and Camille—and neither did she get to meet Shelby nor did they get to meet the person whom referred their own reference to Joyce in the first place. 

At least she'll get to meet Camille and Shelby at the Resurrection; and she'll get to meet:

1.  Fenway—whose owners, as far as I know, were actually the only ones whom were not referred to Joyce by Diane, anyone to whom Diane referred Joyce, or anyone whom was referred to Joyce by Diane and referred others to Joyce in turn.
2. Solo, to whose owners Shelby owner's referred to Joyce—and maybe I'll get to meet Solo then, too, since I have yet to meet him!
3. Whomever the Old Field Sixer ends up being.

Incidentally, "Ole Field Six" does seem to have a ring to it—go figure! 

"A Flying Leap Off Of Mom's Bed," As "Mimi" Describes What Camille Just Did, And Other Moments

Somebody apparently had to "go potty" (and was outside as "Auntie Nicole" began to type), and "Mimi" didn't even have to greet Camille ("...Bingo! She jumped right off!").

When she went outside, "she chased a bunny", whom was her only distraction from being able to "go potty". (As far as the bunny, "Auntie Nicole" has no idea whether it peed itself because it got scared by Camille). Meanwhile, both Camille and Reilly ate "bunny beans" (and "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma" guesses that she knows what the bunny did after all! 😉)

As far as creating earlier memorable moments, Camille decided to create two of those moments when she pawed Reilly from within her own crate earlier today and from outside of Reilly's crate yesterday. Needlessly to say, then, Camille created and helped Reilly create more colorful moments—moments that "Auntie Nicole"/"Momma" needs right now.

PS As "Momma" was just typing, Reilly was actually just staring down "Momma" until "Momma" explained that she is actually just wrapping up right now—and then Reilly began napping and waiting for "Momma" similarly to how (though in a different way than) "Momma" is (and Reilly is also) waiting for a certain someone.

By the way, "Momma" is (and in whatever way puppies can be aware of life's problems, Reilly is) aware that while "Momma"'s having her helpmate and Reilly's "Daddy" (especially if he is who "Momma" thinks that he is) in her and Reilly's life won't solve everything, it'll sure help "Momma" and "Reilly" with a lot.

(Also by the way, Reilly stared down "Momma" again! At least four times total, with one particularly long-sustained staredown, and began napping again after the last one!)

Behaving-Hypocritically Reilly 😞, And Camille The Blankie Dominator and Yogurthead

Leave to Ri to growl at Cam and—as "Auntie Michelle" observed—for being impatient at "num nums" time, and then barking like she's doing as "Momma" types and hasn't stopped since she came in from going "potty". Also leave to Ri to:

1. Give "Momma" a hard time in trying to take her "potty" prior to her walk—and not letting her get her harness and leash on her at all—and at least "Auntie Michelle" acknowledged that blaming "Momma" for Reilly's running in the opposite direction , etc., was (as "Momma" put it) "insensitive bull****"—"Momma" can't run and catch or corner Reilly!
2. Trying to chase a squirrel and eating "nasties" at an earlier time that she's going "potty"
3. Misbehaving on her walk, as "Auntie Michelle" reported

Reilly's misbehavior is disendearing and disingenuous—"Momma" gets that puppies are like toddlers, and she nonetheless knows that Reilly knows better than to inappropriately bark, eat "nasties", chase squirrels, and otherwise misbehave.

As for Camille, she was misbehaving for a bit as well—she tried to, eh, dominate her blankie as usual; and she growled at Reilly yesterday when Reilly tried to play the "Find the Toy In the Blankie" game (and Reilly continues to be afraid of Camille when Camille does that, despite that Ri has the right to keep her mind sharp by playing, too). She also was not patient in waiting for "Auntie Nicole" to drop the blankie:

Reilly finds Camille "weird".

Meanwhile, Reilly surprisingly did not lick Camille's head when some yogurt accidentally got on it—and even left a Harry Potter-scar shape. Cam tried to lick it, though, and licked whatever fell off of her head—of course, she wouldn't let "Auntie Nicole" exactly take a picture or wipe the yogurt off of her head—and she decided to wipe her itchy head on the chair covers.

PS Again, that "Momma" has a hard time managing Reilly due to her disability is part of why "Momma" needs a helpmate and a "Daddy" for Reilly—and if he is who she thinks that he is, he has to contact her, since she doesn't quite know what he wants.