Still A Difficult Time For Reilly—And "Momma"

Reilly continues to be very patient as "Momma" endures a difficult time, and "Momma" nonetheless suspects that some of Reilly's compulsive behaviors are due to her. For example, Reilly seems to clean her paws frequently—just like "Momma" washes her hands frequently, since she has OCD/Anxiety—and perhaps even Reilly's eating of mulch is part of her compulsive behavior.

"Momma" can't even finish one project that might get her foot in the door, let alone work on the book about Reilly which she's planning. As she's written:

"Especially as "Momma" has gone through heartbreaks such as losing touch with the main person whom inspired her to write about Reilly, Reilly has been "Momma"'s biggest fan—or at least her biggest canine fan—while "Momma" can't always be her biggest fan."

She's also written:

"[T]hat person inspired her to begin becoming a full-time author. In fact, as 'Momma' recalls, she wrote and sent Reilly's first real full biography to the particular person—whom she thinks about every day, and about whom she's told Reilly...
"Incidentally, 'Momma" hopes and prays to reconnect with that person—whom had and still has a huge impact on 'Momma''s life, and whom will hopefully meet Reilly—someday."

To not have the main person whom inspired "Momma" to write about Reilly—and become an author overall—in her life for now only serves to partly flare up her mental illnesses—she even had two OCD/Anxiety episodes this morning, which confused and worried Reilly.

Needlessly to say, Reilly is definitely impacted as "Momma" struggles with mental-illness flareups—which also has affected "Momma"'s and Reilly's sleep at night, and "Momma"'s getting through the day.

Somewhat Offbeat: A Milestone October 11th (And Maybe a "Yom Kippur" Miracle If "Momma"'s Lucky) & Reilly's Afternoon Antics

The October 11th of 2016 is Yom Kippur 5776 & the two-week countdown to Reilly's two-year-and-seventh-month birthday—not to mention:

1. One month after the painful 15th anniversary of 9/11—and America somehow still stands strongly.
2. One month before the 98th Anniversary of Armistice Day
3. The day that is two weeks before Reilly's 2016 seventh-month birthday being on the same day as the Fast of the Seventh Month in 5776.
4. The day that Reilly would be fasting if puppies—including adult puppies, whom are "bark mitzvahs"—could fast and would have to fast for teshuvah v'kippurim.

While puppies cannot fast and do not have to fast for any reason, let alone l'ma'an teshuvah v'kippurim, especially because of today would Reilly certainly have to fast if she had a mitzvah to be a shomeret HaYom HaKippurim! Being a single "Momma" with a disability, "Momma" certainly had no fun with Reilly's disobedience as Reilly burst out of the back door while she was taking Camille to "go potty"—Reilly, albe unintentionally, added insult to "Momma"'s injurious state in life by making "Momma" chase her around the backyard, try to get her to avoid eating "nasties" such as mulch, and putting a neighbor in a bad position as he or she was unable to help get disobedient Reilly back inside and late leaving for a family obligation as a result—not to mention that the neighbor, even though he or she has recovered from his or her recent surgery, had the surgery only about a month ago.

This is also another reminder of why "Momma" needs a "Daddy" for Reilly as both "Momma" and "Reilly" get older—besides, an as-possible-as-able man would be able to have authority over Reilly than 5'1.75"-and-afflicted-with-CP-and-Scoliosis "Momma". Granted that, for example, the main person who inspired "Momma" to write about Reilly got frustrated when "Momma" once complained about her state in her life—as he understandably viewed "Momma"'s complaining as being a pity-party schtick, as most other people view it because they don't get how hard it is for "Momma".  

Still, as "Momma" wrote in her last "Offbeat" post:

"As if "Momma" isn't in enough pain, didn't hope for a miracle on Yom Teru'ah and National Boyfriend Day, and isn't even trying to be a good "Momma" to Reilly! As if "Momma" doesn't think about herself and "Reilly" getting older while "Momma" either needs Reilly's "Daddy" to come into her life soon or might have to end up remaining an alteh moid and being another stereotypical and forced-by-life case of the ableist argument that people with disabilities don't get married because society doesn't love them!

"'Momma' hurts enough for herself and for Reilly, and feels like Daisy in The Great Gatsby did:

"'Through this twilight universe Daisy began to move again with the season...'

"["Momma"'s own "twilight universe" is mental-illness flareups that only exacerbate "Momma"'s injurious situation in life.]"

On that note, may "Momma" have a Yom Kippur miracle and have God break her forced fast known as being single with little to no hope of having a "Daddy" for Reilly unless by some miracle. Whether "Momma" will observe the tzom l'Yom Kippur, by the way, is nobody's business but her business and God's business.

By the way, Reilly came back inside after the last time that "Momma" bribed her with yogurt—and Camille got extra yogurt for being a good girl and waiting patiently inside while "Auntie Nicole" had to chase Reilly, had to admonish Reilly several times, pray to a God whom seemed to be not helping her out at quite a few points, try to bribe Reilly with multiple treats (e.g., turkey, yogurt, peanut butter), try to trick her (e.g., "Is Mom-Mom home?"; "Let's go get some salmon."), and otherwise try to get her to go back inside after she explicitly disobeyed "Momma" by bursting out into the backyard as "Momma" was trying to get out through the doorway with Camille.

Also incidentally, as Reilly turns two weeks older and perhaps more stubborn, Reilly's 2016 seventh-month birthday will be wedged right in between what would've been "Momma"'s great-granddad Czarnecki's 112th birthday and his paternal grandmother's 178th birthday—and her namesake granddaughter's 119th birthday (and if only she'd've lived to 120 years instead of died in her 51st year of Breast Cancer!), By the way, "Momma" talks to Reilly about her human family all of the time—and speaking of family, Reilly's twice-removed cousin Shelby turns a year old on October 20th! 

As a Dog Owner, Reilly's "Momma" Has One Advantage Of Having OCD/Anxiety

As "Momma" previously wrote, she at least has the advantage of protecting Reilly from certainly fatality (Yehovah willing, anyway)—not to mention that my having Depression also provided Reilly an advantage in her first year:

"Despite my OCD, etc., Reilly is honestly among the reasons that I'm still alive. I missed much of her first year for several reasons, among them being—if not with most of them stemming from—that I'd oversleep due to a Depression flareup...At least, meanwhile, Reilly got some naps when Michelle would bring Reilly upstairs to my room and there while I overslept—and puppies need up to 20 hours of sleep per day.

"Sometimes, though, as much as I love Reilly (and oftentimes, if not always, because I love my "dogter"), she and/or matters concerning her can affect mental-illness flareups—such as the incident in which I meticulously looked for a chocolate which I probably drop [sic.] with even a flashlight just in case I dropped it."

Of course, though, "Momma" still wonders what she'll do if she can't catch Reilly if Reilly eats a fatal or close-to-fatal "nasty" such as chocolate, an excess amount of mulch, and raisins—and she already has a hard time keeping Reilly away from the open and often-has-dripped-down-"nasties" dishwasher that Reilly licks or tries to lick. 

Pictures & A Video Of Ri & Cam For A Family Reunion, And Mental Health & Dogs

Not normally being tolerant of photos and videos, Reilly cooperated to give her "Momma" a picture and a video to show some human family. 

Cam of course cooperated for "Auntie Nicole".

Reilly also cooperated for the video, and here's a part of it:

Meanwhile, as with Pato and Ginger on "America's Got Talent", "Momma" has been helped with Reilly (and like Pato, she has OCD—with comorbid conditions—that drains and/or, so to speak, brainburns her to the point of not being able to brush her teeth or do much else). Despite her OCD, etc., Reilly is honestly among the reasons that she's still alive. She missed much of her first year for several reasons, among them being—if not with most of them stemming from—that she'd oversleep due to a Depression flareup after—to make a long story short—a relative's ex-boyfriend's sister used even LinkedIn to cyberstalk her in order to intimidate she after she had confronted the ex boyfriend about something. At least, meanwhile, Reilly got some naps when "Auntie Michelle" would bring Reilly upstairs to her room and there while she overslept—and puppies need up to 20 hours of sleep per day.

Sometimes, though, as much as she loves Reilly (and oftentimes, if not always, because she loves her "dogter"), she and/or matters concerning her can affect mental-illness flareups—such as the incident in which she meticulously looked for a chocolate which she probably dropped with even a flashlight just in case she dropped it, not to mention times when she dreads that something will happen to her because of something that she's doing (e.g., typing that she dreads about something happening to her, and then it might happen because she typed it—and even, God forbid, what if she's typing because she'd want something to happen to her?):

"People with OCD often think that their rituals will keep them—and the people they love—from getting hurt. They think, "If I do [or don't do] X, then Y will [or won't] happen." Everybody makes little bargains like this sometimes. Have you ever prayed for something to go your way? Did you offer to be extra good if you got what you wanted? People with OCD think this way all the time. They are sure that their rituals work like magic. Of course, that's not the case." (via iEmily, "Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: Over and Over and Over Again")

Reilly And Camille Always Provide Never-Dull Moments

For example, who could call Pooh Bear- and Piglet-faced, chew-toy and blanket chewers on a Saturday night dull?

Who can call Camille dull when she's taken the opportunity to turn a sofa cover into a blanket?

Also, who could call undyingly-devoted-to-her-"Mimi" Cam dull?

Whom could call a puppy whom sits up for a belly rub and turns away just as you're about to get her picture (and, in this case, somewhat resembles her "Great-Great-Grandma" Czarnecki, of blessed memory) dull?

Aw! She turned away just as "Auntie Michelle" was trying to get another picture.

After all, nobody could call a Reilly whom tolerated a perfect picture opportunity and a Camille whom added to the picture-perfect opportunity dull, could he or she?

Besides, nothing is dull about a Reilly and a Camille whom, e.g., insist on running out of the back door to eat mulch whenever they can—and despite that Reilly's "Momma" is not to blame for it, and despite that Reilly and Camille took the opportunity to run out when "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" was in the backyard to check on her plants after she successfully lifted the backyard-blocking chair out of the way and back to its right side up.

Of course, "Mom-Mom" blamed "Momma" for it; and meanwhile, "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" even had a hard time getting the chair back down on its side to reblock off the backyard, notwithstanding that she thought that she could maybe at least get the chair back down. By the way, Reilly and Camille do know that "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" is not as fast or strong as abler human beings for some reason, although they don't understand the reason (Cerebral Palsy with Scoliosis, and draining mental illnesses)—and like younger human children, they take advantage of that. 

Nonetheless, they do help keep "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" in at least somewhat of a state of sanity—at least when they're behaving, or even when they're misbehaving and "Momma"/"Auntie Nicole" laughs when she shouldn't laugh or even has her maternal instincts kick in, although the kicking in of the instincts certainly affects the mental-illness flareups (e.g., OCD/Anxiety) in a vicious cycle (e.g., with "Momma" once obsessively looking for a chocolate that she may have dropped because she saw Reilly going for something on the floor—or at least to the back-door window to bark at something—knowing that she probably didn't drop a chocolate and Reilly probably didn't get a chocolate—since "Momma" ate it over the table and directly from a 16-ounce glass).

Incidentally, a friend did once tell "Momma" that she could be a good Orthodox Jewish mother, and others (as far as she remembers) have said that she could be a good mother—and yet, "Momma" has a hard time being a good Jewish Christian ima to her kalvbat* (i.e., "daughter dog", a contraction of "bat" and "kalvah", which comes out to also be a word for "affectionate" and "lovely". Awww. Reilly is כלבבה—after her "Momma"'s heart and the hearts of anyone else whom'll give her scritches and other attention, and jealously trying to keep Cam and other puppies from getting that same attention).

PS Reilly is waiting patiently as night-owl "Momma" is typing this entry with one finger on each hand and having a Bruxism flareup as well as aches and pains due to CP, OCD/Anxiety, etc..

*For a discussion on that, see why "Momma" needs a "Poppa" for Reilly—with the Cerebral Palsy and mental illnesses , of course, being part of why. After all, not being able to catch mulch-eating Reilly can be detrimental to her in the end, as Reilly's own vet explained as well. Reilly generally does not listen to admonitions such as "Get out of the mulch." or "Drop it!", by the way.

May, God willing, "Momma" find Reilly a "Poppa" and/or God send "Momma" a "Poppa" for Reilly soon—of course, "Momma" wants a "Poppa" whom'll love Reilly's "Momma", though that's another discussion.