Does Reilly Have Canine OCD? "Mom-Mom" and "Auntie Michelle" Think So.

"Momma" can understand why. Besides, she might have set off Reilly's OCD if Reilly does have OCD (and she has caused other heartbreaks for Reilly as she's felt heartbroken lately)! What they note:

1. How she obsessively licks Cam's bowl after "num nums" time (which "Momma" thinks could be a dominance show) as well as her own bowl (She can taste things that humans can't, though.).
2. How she constantly cleans her paws.
3. Other symptoms, such as itching and scratching constantly (Reilly tends to get dry skin, though.)

"Momma", meanwhile, wonders if Reilly has Canine ADD, since—for example—she gets easily distracted by other puppies, neighbors, and other animals and people when "Momma" takes her to "go potty"—and Reilly often has to go inside after quite a while and wait until later to try to "go potty" again because she can't find a "potty spot"! 

Camille's Pre-UTI Inflammation Or Early UTI Infection, Mental Illness, Etc.

Somehow, my phone ended up sending Facebook-status updates to the wrong page. Nonetheless, this does eventually give me the opportunity to bring up the conversation as to how pets such as my sister's puppy, Camille, can affect the mental health of their human family members—such as my sister and me—for good and—albe inadvertently—for bad.

Like my sister, I have OCD/Anxiety; and let's just say that, that exacerbated our dread when Camille ended up at the emergency vet due to a fever and pre-UTI inflammation or a UTI infection. For many (if not most) people with OCD/Anxiety, this is the case: that is, dreads that are understandable and normal become exacerbated, and the exacerbation affects an OCD/Anxiety. Thus, an OCD/Anxiety-Exacerbated Dread cycle began when Camille ended up at the emergency vet.

There have also been other mental illness-exacerbation cycles regarding events ad other matters that involve Camille and Reilly (my puppy), and I imagine that this is nothing surprising to other pet owners whom also have mental illnesses. I imagine that this is also nothing surprising to those whom've read what I've specifically written about or otherwise mention in regard to those matters—not to mention that I feel absolutely judged (and know that I've been judged) for writing about those matters (Don't think that I'm not aware of that when, e.g., I lose friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter for writing about those matters and sharing my writing—what you think of me online reflects exactly what you think of me offline, as the Internet is merely technology that you use and not the reason for how you act offline and online).

Am I going to lie, though, when, for example:

1. I overslept quite a bit during Reilly's first year due to a Depression flareup? I was very lucky that Reilly needed up to 20 hours of sleep per day during that amount of time, meanwhile.
2. I have been unfairly judged by my mother and even my sister, whom have said that I shouldn't own a pet if I can't take care of her or him due to how my mental illnesses affect me? (By the way, "[Y]ou shouldn't own a pet if you can't take care of her or him" is a common canardic trope that is used against people with mental illnesses and other people with disabilities—not to mention people like me whom have both mental illnesses and other disabilities.). They (like others) could be a little more understanding and helpful instead of unempathetically judgemental.
3. The mental illnesses that I have effect energy drains that affect me to not be the best "Momma" to Reilly and "Auntie" to Camille?
4. The guilt that I feel for not being the best "Momma" to Reilly and "Auntie" to Camille affects my Bruxism to flare up (as it's affecting it to flare up as I type)? By the way, I inherited every single one of my mental illnesses (including OCD/Anxiety) from my father, whom also has Bruxism.
5. There are actually matters about which I've not written (including which I didn't mention before writing this blog entry), such as OCD/Anxiety flareups when I'm making cards with pictures of Reilly and Camille? Because of the OCD/Anxiety flareups, making those cards can take quite a bit of time. For example (and this is where I feel judged already again), I often hit the "Undo" or "Delete" button when making those cards because what if, for example and God forbid. I'm using colors that look like colors that hate groups use (I try to avoid using certain colors because of that.) or drawing a shofar with shapes and end up using it on the card, anyway, because I can't correct the part of it that looks like a butt when at least one of the shapes is unfilled or outlined? Am I actually being irreverent and is my motive actually to be irreverent, even by typing this? Also, I avoided using "objects such a shofar with shapes" because I don't want to sound like my Anti-Semitic ex pastor whom called the Ark Of the Covenant a "piece of furniture" by calling a shofar an object.

Incidentally, my memory-affecting ADD also flared up as I was writing. For instance, I forgot for quite a few seconds what I was intending to Google when I (and for a moment just now, I forgot that I wanted to type "intending to Google when I") went to Google "Bruxism"? As for when my ADD flares up in regards to immediate matters regarding Reilly, instances of my ADD flaring up are when I forget that I was going to put on her harness and leash or give her a treat.

Meanwhile, Camille is healing from the pre-UTI inflammation or early UTI infection—and (though I don't mean to sound flippant) excuse me if part of her pre-UTI inflammation or early UTI infection was due to not taking her to "go potty" as often as it seems like I could, as my energy is frequently drained. Besides, Camille doesn't always immediately ring the bell when she needs to "go potty", and I don't know if she needs to "go potty" until she rings that bell or indicates that she needs to get out of her crate during naptime to ring the bell.

Why I Am Disappointed In Sadie Robertson, Even Though I Do Not Have An Eating Disorder

Sadie Robertson, one of the "Duck Dynasty" kids, struggled with (based on the way that it sounds) Bulimia, given that even her mother had no idea that she had an eating disorder (and especially those with paternal and maternal eyes can notice significant weight losses). Per "Frequently Asked Questions About Eating Disorders" per Johns Hopkins Medicine:

"Both anorexia nervosa and bulimia are characterized by an overvalued drive for thinness and a disturbance in eating behavior. The main difference between diagnoses is that anorexia nervosa is a syndrome of self-starvation involving significant weight loss of 15 percent or more of ideal body weight, whereas patients with bulimia nervosa are, by definition, at normal weight or above."

 Why I am disappointed in Sadie Robertson, then, is her attitude re "tak[ing] authority over [her thoughts]":

"'The day I prayed for the Lord to enlighten my eyes to see His standard of beauty, is the day my whole life changed," she said. "Do these old thoughts come back from time to time? Absolutely, but it is my job to take authority over them.'"

For many fellow self-identifying Christians of Sadie Robertson with eating disorders and other mental illnessesⁱ, it's not as simple as the "Duck Dynasty" star makes it—and people like her whom use religion falsely give many a "Just pray and it'll mostly go away" idea to consider.

In fact, quite a few Christians and people in other religious groups with eating disorders and other mental illnesses think, "If only it were that easy!" and may even become antithetical toward religion as a result. Faith communities are supposed to be there to help those with eating disorders and other mental illnesses, not have an "Oh, ye of little faith; that's why you have a mental illness!"

Also, not everyone has the resources (e.g., money, groups of social networks, significant social status) that Sadie Robertson has. I even go as far as to add that Sadie Robertson may as well have kept her struggle with her eating disorder private instead of having talked about it in such a thoughtless and cavalier way.

As a Biblical proverb goes¹, "Even a fool is counted wise when he holds his peace; [w]hen he shuts his lips, he is considered perceptive." There is only foolishness in using religion to make light of serious problems, especially when the person whom makes light of the problem assumes at some level that she or he is the only one struggling with the problem.

One's making light of her or his her given mental illness (whether it is an eating disorder or another type of mental illness) with a "Pray for it to go away" attitude may even have a deadly affect on others, since "[d]eath and life are in the power of the tongue."

After all, people who feel like "I just don't have enough faith. I can't do this, anyway" may even commit suicide as a result²; and for people with eating disorders, suicide may come in the form of deliberately starving themselves to death. Sadie Robertson needs to remember that every time that she begins to assume that it's as simple as "Pray for it to go away" for everyone with eating disorders.

ⁱ Including myself—and I myself have OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD

¹ I quote the New King James Version, via Bible Gateway, here.

² I don't know whether this was a motive in the suicides of Great-Granddad Czarnecki, Great-Great-Grandma Rusnak's brothers Ferencz "Frank" and Andrȧs "Alexander" Foczko, and 

Great-Great-Grandma Rusnak's father (Istvȧn Foczko; also "Focko"). My family's case was and is different, as we are Anusim and B'nei Anusim whose ancestors became and lived as Anusim due to Anti Semitism in Eastern Europe and the United States, and mental illness set offs and flareups in our family indeed have been affected by the dynamics of being Anusim and B'nei Anusim—including the dynamics of family secrecies.

Working On "Follow Me" With Reilly, And An Incidental Note

"Momma" is working on "Follow me" with Reilly, and Reilly had "Follow me" basically had it down when she and "Momma" worked on it before. Reilly seems to be doing well with "Follow me" after going "potty" and when going inside to get a treat (Stubborn Camille is another discussion: she refuses to even listen to "Auntie Nicole" when "Auntie Nicole" tells her "Follow me". Then again, Camille can be overall stubborn—as, for example, she was last night when "Mimi" thought that she had a piece of plastic in her mouth. She gave her a hard time about checking for any plastic, too!).

As for going upstairs and following "Momma" at night, Reilly is still working on that—although she's mostly listened to "Momma" and earned the treat that she gets each time that she follows "Momma". "Momma" has to sometimes pull Reilly back and remind her, "You don't lead me. I lead you." or "You follow me; I don't follow you."

Incidentally and meanwhile, "Momma" has had horrid mental-illness flareups again due to confusion re a certain subject—while she thinks that she knows what a certain person wants, he has to tell her eventually (or does she have to ask him? Either way, someone has to budge and tell. Besides, she—for instance—doesn't look forward to getting older—let alone old—alone or continuing to detrimentally affect Reilly.)

Reilly's Barking Only Causes "Momma"'s OCD/Anxiety To Flare Up

Part of the reason that "Momma"'s considering DBS Surgery is that Reilly's barking can flare up "Momma"'s OCD/Anxiety—and today is one of those horrid days on which Reilly's inappropriate barking is causing a flare up. "Momma" has a hard time sleeping at night, anyway, due to the OCD/Anxiety in part—and then the OCD/Anxiety in turn flares up due "Momma"'s tiredness. As a result, Reilly's inappropriate stresses her out more and effects the OCD/Anxiety to flare up—especially when she won't listen when she's told to stop barking.

It's a vicious cycle of OCD/Anxiety flareups, "Momma"'s lack of sleeping well, OCD/Anxiety flareups, and Reilly's inappropriate barking causing more stresses.

Re Boni's To-Be Hotel And Fellow People Of Hers Whom Struggle With Mental Illnesses

I think that Boni's hotel will be a place where people whom struggle with mental illnesses like she does (and like I do) will be able to go when their families kick them out for having mental illnesses or when they otherwise move away from their homes due to having mental illnesses and non-supportive families, when they'd rather stay in hotels like Boni's hotel than stay in psychiatric hospitals, and when they are affected by other circumstances.

A Woman Whom Abused Her Puppy? Or Did She Have A Severe Mental-Illness Flareup?

I wonder if she has severe mental illness such as Bipolar or Schizoaffective Disorder. Before people judge her as "trash", they need to remember that people with mental illnesses such as  Bipolar and Schizoaffective Disorders act highly unusually during mental-illness flareups. My sister has a friend whom may have Schizoaffective Disorder and even got him- or her-self in academic and legal trouble as a result of a mental-illness flareup, for example (He or she is known to have Bipolar Disorder for sure.). 

Meanwhile (and those who have read my blog previously know this), my great-great-grandmother Alexandria Czarnecki was known as "a holy terror" and "a tough cookie" whom almost caused my great-grandmother Mary Czarnecki to have a mental breakdown. Only when I saw my great-granduncle Bernie Czarnecki's death certificate did I figure it out: Great-Great-Grandma had Schizophrenia (the other mental illness of which Schizoaffective Disorder is comprised). As far as I know, Great-Granduncle Bernie was the only of my Czarnecki great-granduncles and great-grandaunts to have had it, by the way; and Great-Granddad Czarnecki seems to have not had Schizophrenia (He did have suicide-affecting Depression, though; so, he was not completely lucky in terms of escaping mental illnesses. He had his own struggles.).

A Very-Open Letter To Cory Galbraith

With all due respect, I would imagine that souls like those of the late Elie Wiesel, Primo Levi, and Billy Wilder were a lot more tortured. In fact, Primo Levi committed suicide and Billy Wilder had to yell "THOSE BASTARDS KILLED MY MOTHER!" at an actor whom turned out to be a Nazi sympathizer.

I say this as one whom, for example, suffers Depression, has a late-great-great-grandmother whose Bipolar Disorder and Post-Partum Depression effected her to suffer Alzheimer's Disease and die in her 60s, has a late great-great-grandmother whom suffered Schizophrenia (as did my late great-granduncle Bernie), was a pogrom survivor (along with my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki, whom had Depression and committed suicide), and lost relatives in the Holocaust; and I lost a cousin whom was murdered in the T4 Program due to having Schizophrenia.

But then again, perhaps, what do I know? Perhaps the suffering of Holocaust survivors and other Holocaust-affected people, pogrom survivors (including 4th-generation survivors like me) and other pogrom-affected people, and those with mental illnesses besides Vincent van Gogh meant and mean absolutely nothing. Perhaps Vincent van Gogh suffered worsely than any Holocaust- and pogrom-affected person would ever suffer by having lived and heard about as relatives were gassed, shot, stabbed, hanged, burned, and otherwise murdered; and any other person whom suffered Depression and mental illnesses. By the way, the Holocaust was in Germany as well as Russia, where Stalin implemented a "Final Solution" plan in 1948.

If I don't know whether Vincent van Gogh was "history's most tortured soul", though, then living fellow Holocaust survivors of Elie Wiesel et. al., pogrom survivors and fellow legacy bearers of mine, and others besides me and Vincent van Gogh whose minds and families' minds are and were afflicted by mental illnesses do. 

Re People With Mental Illnesses Having Guns: Should We Be Sitting Ducks For Ableists?

Some people with mental illnesses actually do need guns. For example, vulnerable people who may well be targeted due to have mental illnesses need guns to defend themselves. As for Tr**p, he actually hates people with disabilities, including those whom have mental illnesses.


Thus, this ableist ploy by Tr**p to demonize people with mental illnesses may well backfire on him when his Tr**pites whom are committing hate crimes may realize that people with mental illnesses will not allowed themselves to have people step on them.

As for me, I wish that I had and could use a gun to defend myself against anyone whom would target me due to my Depression, OCD/Anxiety, and/or ADD alone (and wasn't getting a threat from a "physically fit German American" due to being a Jew with disabilities enough?).


Besides, look at how the Nazis were partly able to implement T4: they made it illegal for Jews in Europe to be armed, and (as I found out via JewishGen) I lost a cousin whom was murdered because she had Schizophrenia:

Lodz Ghetto Hospital Death Records

Searching for Surname (phonetically like) : RUSZNAK 1 matching record found. Run on Sun, 18 Jun 2017 22:55:09 -0600

Name	Address Occupation	Born	Died Cause	Comments	Source List Date Page Line
RUSZNAK, Magdalena	V. Str. 10  Bedienerin	1904 Kaschau	27-Jun-1942  Schizophrenie		Hospital Records 29-Jun-1942 2 54

Lumping in all people with mental illnesses with those such as Adam Lanza, whom refused to get help and whom committed a mass murder-suicide shooting, is wrong and playing right into Tr**p's hands.

An Example Of A Hurt That Only Truth Can Heal (To At Least Some Extent)

"Notwithstanding the opportunity to reach for a better outcome, there was no need for Jonathan, or for us, his parents, to live in shame, and certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie."

This is the exact opposite of how my father feels; and this is notwithstanding that I inherited his OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD. I found out from one of his maternal cousins that his paternal grandfather committed suicide, not died of Black Lung. When I confronted Dad, he gave the excuse that I was too young to know the truth about Great-Granddad's death; and this is despite that the sons of my Granduncle Tony (z"l) was honest with his own children upfront about how their grandfather died, meaning that Dad could've been as honest with me as Granduncle Tony was with his children.

Too often, people who have other things that they want to hide, hide whatever they can with bubbe meises instead of telling the stranger-than-fiction truth; and it has only "certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie." In fact, the bubbe meises make it worse, especially when the truth hits—and when you, for example, ended up in Sheppard Pratt for threatening suicide before you knew what partially explained it: i.e., that your father's paternal grandfather actually committed suicide and passed on his Depression to your grandfather (and you've figured out that your late grandfather had Depression, and that he passed it on to his oldest child), your father, and you.

Somewhat Offbeat: A Few Remarks From "Mom-Mom" Over the Past Few Days & A Note To Someone

"After Mom-Mom" said that "Momma" doesn't love Reilly as much as she loves Cam, "Momma"/"Auntie" got incredibly sarcastic with her and sent her this picture—which she took for her phone wallpaper—this morning: "You're right: I don't love Reilly or ever try to take pictures of her."

She also sent an earlier picture:

"She wanted me to take her picture."

"Mom-Mom" later said that "it's about time" instead of apologizing to "Momma".

Remarks like that sting, and especially after (for example) "Mom-Mom" already accused "Momma" of being "lazy" for not putting Reilly's soft food in the fridge right away or in a jar a few days ago—notwithstanding that "Momma" put it in a bag and tried to put a lid over it before she and Reilly went "night nights"—and "Momma" neither knew or heard that she was supposed to put it way, as she thought that "Auntie Michelle" was supposed to put it away that time. But if se did hear it, she forget that she heard it due to her ADD—and she can't just "train [herself]" to manage it better.

Speaking of which, "Momma" has a quick note for someone:

¿Porqué hiciste pensar que yo fuera áspera con respecto a qué ella dijo a mí a eso un momente? Yo no fuera áspera. Por cierto, pienso que entiendo quiere con respecto a una situación específica en relación a Reily; pero dime lo que quiere á alguno punto, por lo menos si y/o cuando Yejovah quiere que dime lo—¿puede lo hacer?—y esto es muy dificil por mí pedir, pero necesito lo hacer porqué, por ejemplo, no tener una repuesta clara afecta exacerbaciones de mi enfermedades mentales.