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Wednesday, October 29, 2014

"Imma Rize": A Short Story About a Nun With a Humorous Name (And a Cousin With a Sense of Humor)

Her name was actually Khava Reisz. She was from Obudai, Magyaroszag. However, she took the name "Ima Reis" ("אמא ראיס", "Mother Reis") when she left Obudai after she had become a nun and went to Bremen. From Bremen, she immigrated to Baltimore as "M. Eva Reis"; and she didn't use "Eva"—much less "Khava" ("חוה")—otherwise.

Therefore, nobody knew how to mark her gravestone—much less her makeshift gravestone for the time being—when she lived out her full years and died at the age of 110 years. What they could clearly write on the stone, however, was "1802 to 1912", since they knew that much.

Otherwise, they had to write what they could write about her. Thus, they wrote "Imma Rize". Similarly, they wrote "Earl Lee Rizer" on her cousin's gravestone. Earl, too, by the way, lived a long life. However, he lived to only 91 years of age.

Nonetheless, he could fill them in on the details of his years before he died, and he made an attempt to fill them in on what he could of his cousin's life.

"...And on my matzevah—the thing that you gentiles call a gravestone—simply mark 'Earl Lee Rizer'. I've left the other instructions in my will. As for my matzevah, that isn't the really-fancy part. After all, I can fill you and everybody else in at the Resurrection—if there even is one. Nonetheless, all you and anyone else need to know in this lifetime is that my name was 'Earl Lee Rizer'; I had a sense of humor, and I lived for 91 years.

"As for my cousin—the one that you call 'Mother Reis'—she'll probably die soon, too. I was born in 1806, and this year's 1897. So, she'll probably die in this 95th year of hers—after all, I'm younger than her and dying in my 91st year.

"Anyway, you asked me to fill you in on the details about her—since we all figure that she's going to die, and she is obviously quite secretive. Then—and spare me, for I haven't much breath—here are the details for which you asked—or at least which I can provide, anyway.

"After she became what everybody else considered a meshumadah—a Jesus-following apostate—I was the only one who was willing to take her in when she emigrated from Bremen. She came here in 1850, and I was already here since 1847. Thus, she lagged only three years behind me.

"After she immigrated, she and I went our separate ways once I took her in and she was processed by the immigration authorities. I went to Temple; she went to the Hebrew Christian church and convent up on only-God-knows what street. I lived out my life as a regular man and Temple member; she lived out her life as a Jewish Mother Superior—though such seems a contradiction, when it is actually just quite a paradox—at least she was a Jewish mother! Incidentally, she did remind me of the verse wherein the prophet states that a husbandless woman has more children than a husbanded one; and she believed that, that applied to all nuns, and not just abbotesses.

"I must relate this anecdote as well: she and her community celebrated Yom Kippur—the Jewish Day of Atonement—in the most-fascinating way. We believe in fasting for our atonement; she believes in Jesus as hers. Nonetheless, she—with her community, and like us—fasted on Yom Kippur. However—and this is the fascinating part—she and her community would prepare for Communion after sunset in a fashion similar to how the priests made atonement in the days of the Solomonic and Zadokite Temples. Whereas the priests would enter the Holy of Holies and perform all of the atonement rituals and rites, the Hebrew Catholic priest would wave incense before the cross on the wall behind the altar and then sprinkle all of the vestments, articles, and furniture with some of the wine that was to be used in the Communion ceremony. Then, at sunset, the priest and his deacons would administer Communion to the congregation.

"I cannot say that she did not live an interesting life—perhaps living interesting lives is within our family. After all, I lived an interesting life—part of my life, of course, includes my having changed my name from 'Berl Ari Reisz' to 'Earl Leo Riszer', to just 'Earl Lee Rizer'. I was an early riser, by the way—I took the advice of the American founder Benjamin Franklin seriously. Also, Benjamin Franklin himself knew what I know—that, as King Solomon observed, only the sluggard will not rise at all, for he will even make the excuse that a lion roams the streets!

"Perhaps that's why 'Ima Reis'—'Mother Reis'—may, as I have heard, change her name to 'Imma Rize'—as I alluded to being an early riser, so she will allude to her belief in the Resurrection of the Dead. Also, she—from what I understand—heard a Negro man singing something along the lines of 'I'm-a rise when Jesus calls-a me up from the ground....'—and that had her thinking."

With that said, Earl Lee Rizer breathed his last breath and died at the age of 91 years. Thus, his gravestone read as he stipulated that it should read: "Earl Lee Rizer". However, the stonecarver also engraved Earl's birth and death dates. Therefore, the gravestone read in full, "Earl Lee Rizer, 1806 to 1897".

As for Mother Reis' gravestone, it read:

"אמא ראיס, 1802-1912, עם 62 שנות בעבודה לישוע אדוננו"—
"Mother Reis, 1802 to 1912, with 62 years in the service of Jesus Our Lord."

This was all forgotten, however, when a flood came through the cemetery and left the gravekeepers to put up makeshift gravestones. Thus, Mother Reis' makeshift gravestone read as her cousin Earl suggested that her gravestone should read—with, of course, the death date being different than the date that Earl supposed:

"Imma Rize
"1802 to 1912".





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