This is my first post from my phone. Since I can e...

This is my first post from my phone. Since I can e-mail only 160 characters from my phone, the post is short. Today's busy, anyway.

There's The Paradox of Hope and Reality, Because...

Oftentimes, hope and reality do not match up. Expecting the best is a mistake--"Always suspect the worst of others; you'll rarely be disappointed." Always suspect the worst of others and yourself, and you'll be pleasantly surprised when the best happens--just don't expect the best to last long, let alone forever. Even a fruitful septuagenarian or octogenarian life--let alone a nonagenarian or centenarian life--is a gift. Only where hope is, is where the best and better will last forever--and hope is in the Lord alone.

Otherwise, forget even hope: reality, especially without hope, is a screwy business--and what about death, which ends reality in this lifetime for those who are taken by it? If you're going to Heaven, then you know where you're going. But if you're going to Hell (and you probably are if you're unsure if you are [though I'm not talking about if you're just having doubts], or if you're sure that you're not, going to Heaven), take Dante's admonition seriously--"Abandon all hope, ye who enter [Hell]." 

By the way, Hell is a Jewish concept--Scripture aside, "the Talmud [of all books is] quite descriptive of the place we now call hell...The Talmud is much more detailed concerning the fire and darkness of hell, even supplying descriptions concerning its size, divisions and entrance gates." If you need proof, go look at what the P'rushim think about Jesus and Hell.  The P'rushim particularly hated Jesus because, at the very least and a point on which Messianic Jews and Non-Messianic Jews can agree, Jesus "transgress[ed many] of the enactments of the Scribes"--punishment for which, according to the "Scribes", is death and boiling in semen or fecal matter--and the P'rushi scribes exalted themselves, including Eliezer ben-Hyrcanus HaKohen, to be Yehovah: "My son, be more careful in the words of the Scribes than in the words of the Torah, for in the laws of the Torah there are positive and negative precepts; but, as to the laws of the Scribes, whoever transgresses any of the enactments of the Scribes incurs the penalty of death."

Using the P'rushim as an example, you would best suspect the worst of others--there is no end to how any human being (whether Jewish or gentile, rich or poor, politician or constituent, clergy or layperson, or any other kind of person) can make life Hell enough for even him or her self--much less and/or let alone for others. " Put not your trust in princes, nor in the son of man, in whom there is no help....Happy is he whose help is the God of Jacob, whose hope is in the LORD his God". "[P]ut your trust in the LORD."

As Controversial And Ill Timed As This Seems...

When anyone dies, I (or at least I should) always hope that they were saved or came to salvation if they were not saved prior to their dying moments (As for the ones who were saved, that "[p]recious in the sight of the LORD is the death of His saints." is obvious. Nobody has to worry about where the saints are going.). As for those who weren't saved, their fate depends on their works. For the saved, "This is He who came by water and blood—Jesus Christ; not only by water, but by water and blood. And it is the Spirit who bears witness, because the Spirit is truth.  For there are three that bear witness in heaven: the Father, the Word, and the Holy Spirit; and these three are one.  And there are three that bear witness on earth: the Spirit, the water, and the blood; and these three agree as one."

Therefore, grace is indeed a Jewish idea, and that grace is a Jewish idea must be communicated to especially the Jewish soul before he or she even has to face death. For, God chose the Jews and then any gentiles who are to be grafted in. So, share but don't proselytize;  let the Jewish soul choose as he or she will, but don't squander any opportunity to share the Gospel with any Jewish soul. You are guilty, by the way, if you do not take the opportunity to share when you called to share ; and you are fit for Hell if you pervert the Word of God--whether the Hell be in Hell itself or even in Heaven, even though you escape Hell itself. 

I myself testify as one whose Believing Jewish family members--e.g., Mark Gavrish--have helped save their Non-Believing (even Crypto-Jewish) family members (v.g., Stanislaw "Stanley" Czarnecki, z'l). I also testify as one who has family members in Hell (and if you think that that's easy and not troublesome for me to say, think again--I have gotten heat for speaking out against family members and their actions, for example, and even disbelief. One example is the dishonest Claire Bradley--I even offered that she contact Granduncle Tony, so that he could tell her what I told her happened to Great-Granduncle Bernie; and what does the perverter do? Cut out that part that I told and make what I wrote to her sound like she wrote it herself--and those are the kinds of people who run FindAGrave, by the way [Long story, but now you know why I detest  FindAGrave, though that site is a necessary evil for the time being.]).

In conclusion (and writing this blog entry with the sad guarantee that, verbi causa, Great-Granduncles Johnkie and Suzy are in Hell right now), I urge you to communicate to especially unsaved Jewish souls that grace is a Jewish idea before the time passes, and let them choose what their fate will be. 

Closing Thought For The Night: Non-Messianic Judaism Versus Messianic Judaism

Non-Messianic Judaism says, "I can attain merit on my own righteousness and follow tradition." Messianic Judaism says, "'And he believed in the LORD; and He counted it to him for righteousness.'--So if Abraham had to rely on G-d and on faith, what of me?! I can't do it on my own! 'Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots? Then may ye also do good, that are accustomed to do evil.' Since human nature is like skin color, I can't rely on myself--I have to rely on G-d to merit my righteousness!" L'laila tov.

I Need A Big Break Because....

1. While I'm not the pinnacle embodiment of a rags-to-riches story, I've certainly had struggles in my life. Here's a (so to speak) Molotov Cocktail (or worse of a cocktail) of struggles which I've had:
1. Diplegic Spastia Cerebral Palsy, for which I spent 75 days in the hospital. Born January 23, 1990, I came home on April 7, 1990.
2. OCD/Anxiety--this comes from my dad's Levitical family, the Foskos (Foczkos).
3. Major Depressive Disorder--my dad's paternal granddad committed suicide over this. Relatedly, two Foczko great-great-granduncles and their dad (my great-great-great-granddad) committed suicide.
4. ADD--All I know is that this come from Dad's side.
2. My family history, to say the least, is very sordid. For example:
1. My dad's family in particular was Crypto Jewish from around 1755-after March 12, 2008. I was the on who was chosen to catch them in their fanciful ignorance and deceit.
2. My great-grandma Mary Rusnak Gaydos was a kapo--to not send the money to the Rusznaks who desperately broke the protocol of Evel Rabbati 2I  for the sake of piku'ach nefesh (whether Vilmosz was the one really writing or a Nazi was posing as Vilmosz--though, safe to say, Vilmos had to be the one writing given that Vilmosz survived the Shoah and is still covered up by the family). Because of this, my family is broken and cursed--and I am of the third generation removed from Vilmosz's curser, and of the second removed from his curser's enablers.
3. Because of Points One and Two, my family story is not well known--and besides for what was noted in Point Two, my family is broken.
4. Great-Grandma Czarnecki's blood is left unavenged (As much as I forgive Pop-Pop, I'd still like what he did to catch up with him.).
5. Pfc. Bernard S. Czarnecki (Army, 111th Infantry Division Medical Corp, WW2) is left unrecognized and unavenged.
6. A lot of the verbal and other abuse that I had to endure from 1996 (from when Dad twisted Mom's arm--which is pretty traumatic for a six-year-old child to have to see--and after seeing my dad sleeping on the couch one time at 7:00 on dark morning in 1994) to November 2006 (to when I had endured quite a bit of my own abuse, thank you) is explained by the family history--"Hurt people hurt people"; abuse begets abuse, and (as Granduncle Tony quoted), "Like [dad], like son." (The couch thing--to see parents sleeping separately from each other is also traumatic--if I didn't realize that something was wrong then, I can look back and say that I should've realized that something was wrong then.)
3. I'm no Jeremiah, Elijah, or even faithful son; but I've been a Christian since Easter 1996 or 1997--long before I even suspected that I am Jewish, by the way.
4. I get that "having one's cake and eating it, too" is not a Biblical concept (or usually one), but David, Solomon, and even the disciples (excepting Judas, and counting Mathias) had their cakes and ate them, too (at least in the end).
5. I've never fit anyone's mold--a psychological case with a physical disability, a sordid family history, a broken home, and a situation in which I don't fit in the Christian or the Jewish worlds (and mainly because I'm that interfaith, interethnic[?], broken-home kid with a sordid family history and a medical record to boot. By the way, Mom's--as far as we know--a gentile of Jewish and Latino [Sephardic Jewish?] descent.).
6. I've been a victim of abuse (including what I've mentioned previously and cyberbullying), rejection, and dejection.  
7. I've had two crazy exes, both of whom I've had to call the police on; and I'm only 23. Therefore, my chances of ever getting married--let alone ever staying married--are nill. Besides:
1. My dad and both of his siblings divorced, and my dad and his brother remarried.
2. Out of my mom and her eight born siblings, only two have never divorced or remarried.
3. My Allen great-great-grandparents and my Green-Carroll great-great-grandma all divorced. My "McCoy" great-great-grandparents may have also divorced.
4. There were other divorces in my family.
5. There were terrible marriages in my family, including those of my Czernecki great-great-grandparents and Czarnecki great-grandparents.
6. Take all five previous "Besides" points and Point Seven together, and I'm bound to be a divorce statistic. Also take that I was born disabled and (thus) into the lower level of the American de-facto caste system,  and you get that I'll be perpetually an alte moid  or someone's to-cheat-on "gimp" of a wife (and, yes, I have been called a "gimp").

The list goes on, but my point is that I'm one who needs a break from God. In other words, someone who needs a break from God is me, if there was or has been someone who needed a break from God. Otherwise, my life's going to amount to less than worthless--and I'm just looking at factual and statistical reality.

Besides, someone needs to get my family back together; someone needs to tell the stories of--e.g.--Vilmosz's side of the Rusznak Family, Great-Grandma Czarnecki, and Great-Granduncle Bernie; and someone needs to show that a lower-caste, born-disabled, broken-home, chanceless kid can overcome by God. 

Sitting Shiva Isn't Always About Physical Death

I know this because I'm well read enough and have delved enough into my own family history. Shiva can be sat when:

1. A child or other relatives intermarries (This happened to the late Ruth McBride Jordan, nee Rachel Deborah Shilsky [Ruchel Dwajra Zylska] when she was even just in a relationship with Dennis McBride.). This normally doesn't happen if a child marries solely a "shvartze"--as the Yiddish pejorative was thrown about back then. This happens if a child marries any gentile who doesn't convert or is not accepted for conversion into Judaism.
2. A child or other relative converts out of particularly Non-Messianic Judaism into--e.g.--Roman Catholicism (or other so-called "denominations of Messianic Judaism [Christianity]"), even if they remain Non Messianic and are merely Anusim. Sometimes, shiva isn't even sat and there's a rowdy hatefest where the convert's "death" or death is celebrated (See "Evel Rabbati", which takes work to find but is worth fighting. As the Anti Semites like to tripe on about and the Karaites note, this is what the P'rushiyin do not want you to know.). The P'rushiyin particularly hated Jesus, and revisionists like to pretend that another Yeshua is mentioned, but all one has to do is look at Bava Metzi'a 59b and the New Testament to get the idea pretty quickly.
3. A child or other relative acts so despicably that the circumstances play out as if he or she is dead, would rather be dead, or would be better off as such.
4. A child or other relative is in circumstances in he or she is dead, would rather be dead, or would be better off as such. For example, a child who is inevitably going to die of terminal cancer and not be miraculously healed may have shiva sat for him ot her early on.

Shiva can always be reversed for the living. For example, Ruth McBride Jordan did get back in touch with one of her cousins who she hadn't seen in years and who was in California. Even relatives who had sat shiva for her (viz. her aunts Mary and Bernadette) had contact with her, even though that contact was telling her that they sat shiva for her and she was to stay out of their lives (which Mary did)--as well as slamming the door in her face when she reached out to them for help (which Bernadette did).

In my own family's case, I have been in touch with Rusnak relatives before. Also, the Czerneckis did write to us once to ask for the deed to be changed. Shiva will also be reversed for Aunt Mary if she ever reaches out to me again (See #3 to give you an idea of what she did. All that I'll say is that, that took hutzpah to cut me off without at least telling me why she would--at least Ruth McBride Jordan's aunt Mary told her that she cut her off and gave her a hint as to why she did.).

Shiva cannot be reversed for the dead (unless they of course miraculously rise again).

Even God Doesn't Create Like He Used To...

We are in the Never-Was-and-Never-Again Time, and people are particularly wicked and apostate. Therefore, even God is creating more cheaply than he used to--even most of the vilest of sinners used to have a redeemable or redeeming quality back then (There were exceptions like Mohammed and, arguably, Martin Luther who had no redeeming quality whatsoever--after all, Luther stole the Reformation from Jan Hus.). Now the vilest of sinners has no redeemable or redeeming quality.

I know that the Bible admonishes to not look back on the days of old or preserve usable objects of this age, but I can't blame my mom for not wanting me and my sister to use Nana Pundt's heirloom family teapot but for special occassions. After all, "They just don't make them like they used to"--and neither does God.