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Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Sunday, July 3, 2016

More About Deeply-Thought-Of Considerations: Why I've Become A Skeptic About Finding Someone (e.g., More Of Part Of the Ugly Part)

Since I have, e.g., Cerebral Palsy and Depression, I might be a burden and medical expense in of myself to many a guy, which is part of what I've considered: I know that many a guy would not end up staying with someone like me in the long term—besides, I need someone whom's physically and mentally stronger than me, and would be willing to be strong enough for me.

I've seriously become a skeptic about finding someone because of that—that is, because I have C.P., Depression, etc.. On one dating website, I had to block one person because of his ableism, etc.. Another, I'm pretty sure, rejected me because of my disability:

"Thank you for the kind message, but unfortunately I'm looking for a different type of girl." 


Yeah; "[d]ifferent type of girl" my tuchus—he could've just been honest instead of backhandedly polite. I also think that prospects have gone down since I posted a picture with me with my cart (What did they want me to do: lie?!). 

As I stated, I've seriously become a skeptic about finding someone because of that—not to mention the rampant ableism in our society, anyway; such as regarding the awful case of the ableist (and perhaps Anti-Semitic) TSA agent whom battered a girl named Hannah Cohen.

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Deeply-Thought-Of Considerations That I've Made In Light Of Wanting Love While Getting Older And More Vulnerable Everyday

Part of why these past couple of months have been rough for me is because I'm 26 and continuing to be in a bad position simply because of being among the many people whom have disabilities, not to mention being a person with disabilities in other minority groups—the Jewish people and the female gender, for example. Incidentally, this is why I signed up for Maplematch: I prefer to have someone whom would consider moving to Canada (from which I could perhaps make aliyah) or making aliyah with me (despite Netanyahu and Agudat Yisra'el) if Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton becomes the POTUS.

I also did and have done way more than just sign up for MapleMatch. For example:


  1. I once dabbled in online dating on, e.g., DateMySchool because I got a random invitation to that website. Needlessly to say, it didn't work out.
  2. I've even used at PlentyofFish at the recommendation of a friend whom met her own bashert on there, for example. I know what I want in and with someone, and why I want what I want. I've also made sure to warn others why they might not want me, even if they would claim otherwise—and if you're a potential prospect whom's reading this, you might be among those whom might not want me despite what you might claim. Of course, that's part of what hurts me repeatedly; though it is what it is.


That's why I'd let any prospect know—or be reminded of—and be aware of  whom he'd be getting involved if I were a prospect of his. After all:

  1. I have Cerebral Palsy—which is why I can't drive and am still looking for full-time work, for which I'm using volunteering as a stepping stone in part
  2. I have mental illnesses: OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD—all of which I am getting treated with medication and counseling
  3. I want to thus spare him from having to deal with that, including having to help me with any medical and other expenses—e.g., I have an Intravenous Bacloften  Pump and, as I stated, I can't drive.
  4. I want to also spare myself from being hurt by anyone whom cannot handle that
In other words, I don't want to be any kind of liability or burden to any man, let alone be hurt in the process of being a liability or burden to any man—I'm already a liability and/or burden in non-romantic relationships as is, despite that others claim that I'm not at all a liability or burden. Thus, any prospect of mine'd need consider if he'd be able to deal with me in the long term and not just in a moment or just the short term. I also hasten to add that—besides that I can't drive—I can't swim or participate in risky activities such as rock and mountain climbing, motorcycling, messing with pyrotechnics such as fireworks, and ice skating—besides, one of my mother's second cousins died in a motorcycle accident, and I've heard and read the horror stories about amateur fireworks users losing their limbs and/or lives.

Also, I can't just snap up and out of anything, and be healed of everything with which I'm dealing—life doesn't work like "name it, claim it" faith healing—I'd've been healed by now if God willed to heal me, and He didn't will to heal me:


  1. I'm 26; I got the ITB Pump when I was 23.
  2. My mental illnesses set off in the timespan of 2001-2013, from when was 11 to 23.
Getting worse overtime's not what I call healing, let alone healing overtime. I can only, then, guess why His strength is made perfect in my weakness, as His strength was made perfect in Paul's weakness*.

Besides, I've been hurt enough in my lifetime; and I want to just find someone and/or have someone find me at this point, and I just want the one whom God wills to somehow come into my life:


  1. 26 is quite old for someone like me to have never been married, and 26 is older for people like me than it is for most, given how ableist society is.
  2. Since I've never been married and I'm still—if you know what I mean—waiting for marriage, I'm really getting old and—at least in the eyes of many, if not most, in this ableist society—losing time and viability. 
  3. I prefer to in a same-faith relationship, as interfaith dating backfired on me twice despite that each of my two exes claimed to be a Christian at a point in the beginning of the relationship.
  4. While I'm not looking for Mr. Perfect or going to turn down anyone just because of a few bad choices and/or mistakes, I also prefer to avoid being used by or dealing with any man whom lives by being a player and/or other type of backstabber, an ableist and/or other type of bigot, and/or otherwise a man of bad character—each of my two exes was enough of that.

*Incidentally, perhaps I will be healed if I am able to make aliyah—Jesus did all of His known healing in Israel, and Jewish Christians were the ones whom healed others, both Jewish and gentile, as the Gospel was spread throughout the Roman Empire. Even, for example, Ananias healed fellow Jewish man Paul.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Why I Signed Up For MapleMatch.com (And I'm Not Being Paid Or Otherwise Compensated For This Blog Entry)

In short, I'm:


  1. "[D]isgustingly Jewish", as a blocked-and-reported Twitter called many of us #NeverTrump people. To Trump and Trumpite zealots, being Jewish is disgusting—and I am among the Jews whom have persecuted by Trumpite zealots. I, reporter Julia Ioffe, and others are clearly not welcome in Trump's America.
  2. A person with Cerebral Palsy and OCD/Anxiety, Depression, ADD, and IBS—and a "physically fit German American" who "can think of a place for [me]" (as a Trumpite threatened me on Twitter) and Donald Trump himself as he persecuted Serge Kovaleski made clear that Americans with disabilities will not be considered Americans in Trump's America.
  3. Likely to, as a Jewish-American with Cerebral Palsy and other conditions, be forcibly stripped of my native American citizenship—just as Jews born in Germany and the rest of Nazi-occupied Europe were stripped of their American citizenship—and put in a murder camp unless I flee the United States of Donald Trump—and if anyone has to worry about FEMA camps actually being used maliciously, one would have to worry about FEMA camps becoming camps used for malicious purposes instead of shelter from disasters if Donald Trump does become POTUS.
  4. Not looking forward to becoming an alteh moid—I even tried Plenty Of Fish at the recommendation of a friend whom found her own bashert there, and it didn't work.
  5. Not wanting to resort to being a trophy wife—I even tried getting friends to send around a dating résumé around, and most of them were reluctant and even hostile about doing it.
  6. Maybe even likely to have better romantic prospects in Canada in any case—whether MapleMatch.com works out for me or doesn't work out for me—especially if Trump becomes POTUS.
  7. Maybe even likely to have better luck making aliyah from Canada than from the United States.
Besides, I have Foczko and other kevorim mishpacha in Canada; so, I wouldn't be completely foreign to Canada.

Monday, January 12, 2015

Depression, Dying In the Diaspora, and Likely Being An Alteh Moid (And Other Matters)

First with the schtick about dying in the Diaspora: well, an ex friend just died at 4:00 AM today. As I told my sister, "I keep telling you about dying in the Diaspora; you won't believe me" or something like that. To watch Yirimiyahu 8:1-7 continuously come true disturbs me. The ex friend was only in his 20s and had cancer, by the way.

Also, what about the four men murdered in Friday's terror attacks as well as Georges Wolinski murdered on Wednesday? Surely, some have to be looking at this and saying, "It is true: 'And death shall be chosen rather than life by all the residue that remain of this evil family, that remain in all the places whither I have driven them, saith יהוה צבאות.' Indeed, 'the stork in the heaven knoweth her appointed times; and the turtle and the swallow and the crane observe the time of their coming; but My people know not the ordinance of יהוה.'

"'And thou shalt become an astonishment, a proverb, and a byword, among all the peoples whither יהוה shall lead thee away.'" That's not supposed to exacerbate the MDD with which I suffer?!

Also, I can't get out of the Diaspora myself. Why? Besides what I wrote yesterday (See "To watch...true" above.), that I'm not married is a factor (and a painful one!)! Did that get into a debate as well, by the way!

Given the following, I may pretty much be doomed either way:

  1. Each but for two of my maternal grandparents' post-natal children (including my late aunt Mary Carole) have been divorced and remarried at least once.
  2. All of my paternal grandparents' post natal children have each been divorced once.
  3. My parents are divorced (no duh!).
  4. I have C.P., OCD/ADD, MDD, ADD, and IBS.
  5. I'm 24 years old and going on to be 25 years old.
There are other factors as well. Being an undesirable, a divorce statistic, and still single at 24 years old, I'm likely to die an alteh moid. Comforting? No! Exacerbating my MDD? Yes! Having nobody to at least get me out of the Diaspora? Even more exacerbating my MDD!



PS As I was trying to write this whole blog entry, I had to stop for multiple long periods because I couldn't get a moment of quiet. Also, I was pretty much, e.g., shot down on explaining why Francois Hollande called Netanyahu's bluff. To live in a house in which I can't share much without being interrupted, shot down, etc. is all the rougher.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Even If Nobody Else Is Saying This...

Quite honestly, I wonder if it didn't have to do in part with the Haredi constituency in New York City that follows Yevamot 62b. Sure, this Vietnamese couple made their argument; nonetheless, was someone also trying to appease the Haredim?

"Our Rabbis taught: Concerning a man who loves his wife as himself, who honours her more than himself, who guides his sons and daughters in the right path and arranges for them to be married near the period of their puberty, Scripture says, And thou shalt know that thy tent is in peace.49  Concerning him who loves his neighbours, who befriends his relatives, marries his sister's50  daughter,"

Incidentally enough, I had no clue that it was that specific. I just knew about the reference. Anyway, don't kid yourself; the Haredim have a very-strong presence in New York City (e.g., Williamsburg, Crown Heights). By the way, the decision reads in part:

There is no comparably strong objection to uncle-niece marriages. Indeed, until 1893 marriages between uncle and niece or aunt and nephew, of the whole or half blood, were lawful in New York. And sixty years after the prohibition was enacted we affirmed, in May, a judgment recognizing as valid a marriage between a half-uncle and half-niece that was entered into in Rhode Island and permitted by Rhode Island law. It seems from the Appellate Division’s reasoning in May that the result would have been the same even if a full uncle and full niece had been involved. Thus Domestic Relations Law § 5(3) has not been viewed as expressing strong condemnation of uncle-niece and aunt-nephew relationships.

I wonder, too, if that's why some Haredim immigrated to New York. They may not have been literate in haleshonot l'goyim, though they still knew what was going on. Remember that back in Krasne nad Krasnopol, Wojciech and Marianna Krusznyska Danilowicz were smart enough to claim negligence in baptizing Katarzyna—by the way, Jews did use and even adopt shemot hagoyim; though I'm not sure if we'll ever know the real names of "Katarzyna" et. al.. "Marianna" is probably the one real name, though, since that's "Miryam Chanah".

As for their cousin Rochla (and I'm definitely not fooled in light of this, since Aleksandria listed Katarzyna as her in-law mother and nearest relative, even though they were not talking to each other after Julian and Aleksandra became Anusim), she came to New York with enough English literacy (or maybe she talked to a customs official who could speak Yiddish) to get into New York (Her aunt had to pick her up; so, who knows?).

By the way, all of Great-Granddad's families stuck together in Northumberland County, PA, too (Look it up. If you're too, quite honestly, lazy to do it, I'll give you the names and links to searches for "Czarnecki", etc.; "Danilowicz", etc.; "Andrulewicz". etc.; and "Margiewicz", etc.. Otherwise, you're on your own from there. I've proved myself enough—and I don't need that "Both sets of parents?" argument again, since Alexandria gave her parents' name as "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" as well. As far as I know, that neither is my fault nor was the fault of Great-Grandaunt Alice. I didn't even know that Great-Granddad's parents were here—let alone Crypto Jews who escaped the pogroms—until I was close to 20 years old, and she was simply writing what her mother told her to write. So, I wouldn't even be counted in an Israeli Census before then, and she was a bat chayil.

Anyway, back to my point (since I just needed to say all that in case I would get the "That's not enough evidence," "That's coincidence," etc. arguments): since Haredim are (as I must mention, in case one didn't know that Haredim are) very much a constituency in New York City (and, thus, New York State) and knew enough to immigrate to the "treif medina", could they somehow have played into "Nguyen v. Holder" (2014), even if quietly? After all, I perhaps would darned well consider that if I were a Second Circuit Court judge—especially if I wanted to get reappointed, and even someday appointed to the Supreme Court (As is known, elective politics plays even into appointive politics.).

Let's not be fooled: if (and since) Katarzyna's parents could (so to speak) pull strings to be under-the-radar Anusim, and Rochla knew enough to get into New York, the Haredim could and do know enough to (at least if they wanted) play into a gentile case that has implications for Haredi Jewish tradition.

Let me conclude one incidental observation as well: "Antoni" and "Katarzyna" seem to be to Poland as "Juan" and "Maria" are to Mexico.

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

"[I]s greg gutfeld and his wife getting a divorce"?

Yeah...no. Wouldn't that have come out if that was the case? There are enough divorces in this world, especially among those who are famous and otherwise notable, and making up divorce rumors is not going to help anybody—in fact, it will only hurt somebody (usually the rumor monger) in the end.

People really need to think before they ask questions, especially since there are foolish questions. Also, divorce in any case is not a trivial or otherwise-light subject (and I should know, as I am a descendant of divorce—a child of one, a great-great-grandchild of one, and a great-great-great-grandchild of one. Also, my Farrell great-great-great-grandparents were close to divorcing twice. Furthermore, both of my dad's surviving siblings and all but two of my mom's eight surviving siblings have or had been divorced).

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Monday, November 4, 2013

I Need An Honest Answer Here...

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/living/be-honest-was-i-right-in-turning-down-someone-in-the-following-way-please-read-carefully/question-4032309/" title="Be honest: Was I right in turning down someone in the following way (Please read carefully!)?">Be honest: Was I right in turning down someone in the following way (Please read carefully!)?</a>


I know [that he cares for me], and I'm not sure if we even 
share many interests, for example.

I'm not saying that to be mean. Even with the last two guys 
I dated (and both were bad apples), I almost had few to no things in common 
with them. Compatibility is important in my considering of a good guy. And I'm 
a divorce statistic waiting to happen if I get with the wrong guy—and I did 
that twice. I didn't marry the guys, granted, but I thought that I would.

And just imagine if I had married either one of them!...They 
were [bad, indeed].

I had to call the police on both… Both for harassment. And, as 
I figured out later, one had raped his previous girlfriend[s] (He had claimed that 
he had raped her.). The first almost hit me after we broke up…I was lucky that I was never 
physically hurt by the other one…I know [that this guy would never abuse me], and 
I'm not willing to get into another relationship unless it's with whom I know 
and am sure is the one…So, it isn't you. It's me; and I don't mean that as a 
cliche….I mean...consider this: my dad and both of his born siblings have all 
divorced and/or remarried. Same with my mom and all but two of her born 
siblings (two were not born), and my Green-Carroll great-great-grandma divorced. 
So did two Trudniak great-granduncles [Frank and Edward, and with Edward being 
divorced three times]. And I've been in two bad relationships.

And I've had to turn you and three other guys down in the 
past couple of years (including [a mutual friend]). So, I am having to be 
careful. In fact, by turning you down, I am (as I did with the other three) saving 
you heartbreak and/or a whole lot of other issues. My dad's family will be 
enough of an issue, by the way. Also add in that I have CP and a baclofen pump, 
Depression, OCD/Anxiety, ADD, and Irritable Bowel Syndrome…. And trust me when 
I say that you will thank me for turning you down. That girl [who he likes] is 
way more in your league than I am. And I mean that in a good way.

[See my blog and my Ancestry.com family tree if you want an idea of my dad's family being a issue in of themselves, by the way. You will find them at my About.me page.]