Re "For Some Moms, The Nest May Never Be Empty"

My dad's 49-year-old cousin Jamie was treated for seizures when he was 1.5 years old, and the doctors at the hospital gave him an overdose of codeine. They didn't wait to check with my granduncle and grandaunt, whom were out on a date night and having my grandaunt's sister babysit Jamie, and this was despite that Jamie is allergic to codeine.

As a result of the codeine overdose, Jamie got Cerebral Palsy and had his development stop right then and there. My granduncle and grandaunt were gracious and merciful about it, understanding that my grandaunt's sister tried her best by taking Jamie to the hospital. They also gave the doctors the benefit of the doubt, and they opted to not put him in a Pennsylvania state hospital or school (and this was three years before Willowbrook in New York was exposed).

I can only imagine the "What might've been?" and "Why did this happen?" questions that they've had, and especially since Granduncle Jim's endured a lot of other losses along with Jamie's loss of a normal life. Even before he lost the chance to see Jamie have a normal life, he lost his uncle (my great-granduncle) Bernie (of blessed memoryy) only years before (and Great-Granduncle Bernie had a botched shrapnel-removal operation that resulted in his having brain damage and resulting regression to a child-like state); and he lost his father (my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki, whom was a very-difficult man and -abusive father) due to Depression-affected suicide in the year after Great-Granduncle Bernie died at the Veteran's Affairs Home and Hospital in Lebanon, Pennsylvania due to a Coronary Occlusion as a result of a Schizophrenia flareup (and perhaps Granduncle Jim and even other relatives—and I myself recently—have wondered if Great-Granduncle Bernie didn't actually have a DVA-forced lobotomy that did damage similar to the damage that Jamie's codeine overdose did).

As for some of the losses after Granduncle Jim's having to deal with Jamie's loss of a normal life:

1. His brother (my granduncle) Francis (of blessed memory) died at the age of 45 due a heart attack and Alcoholism in 1985.
2. His brother (my granduncle) Tony died unexpectedly in 2014 at the age of 68—and being almost four years older than him, he expected to be outlived by him.
3. His daughter, Denise, has never married or had children due to suspending much of her life to help care for her older sibling—so, he's also watched as Denise has lost a chance to live a normal life.
4. He nearly lost his own life when he could've died due to a fall that he had from a letter in 2007, when he was trying to clean some eggs that some punks had thrown onto his roof. 

As for Grandaunt Annie, she's endured both losses of her own losses that she and Granduncle Jim have shared. Meanwhile, both Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie are in their 70s, and both of them are probably wondering what they're going to do in terms of what happens with Jamie when each of them dies—and what happens, if Denise, who's now in her 40s, and/or other relatives can't and/or won't take care of Jamie after they are gone?

Thus, I think that Granduncle Jim and Grandaunt Annie—and perhaps especially Granduncle Jim—can relate to that feeling of never being able to have an empty nest and especially never being able to watch each of their children live a normal life, let alone having children and grandchildren that'll someday live their own normal lives. 

PS To Miriam Sokol, let me add to the following:

"I didn't know that, for example, my dad's 49-year-old cousin is a "difficult child". But what do I know? That overdose that he had on codeine when he was 1.5 years old must've been his fault. Never mind that the doctors at the hospital didn't wait to check with my granduncle and grandaunt before they tried to treat him due to his seizures."

What I want to add is this:

Jamie is not at all a "difficult child" (and neither is every other child or adult whom's afflicted with especially-severe physical and intellectual disabilities). In fact, Jamie is a very-sweet and -loving person (as I remember from when I and my side of my family would see other sides of the family every year that we could up to Pennsylvania to visit my great-grandmother, of blessed memory).

A Reflection Re "Heaven, 9/11 Memorial Version"

I can only imagine how, I suppose to a similar extent, my paternal grandfather's father and living siblings felt on September 11, 1922 and subsequent days. From what I understand, my great-great-granddad Julian Czarnecki was absolutely no hero—or if he was one, his bad facets outweighed his good ones. Nonetheless, his death must've really weighed on my great-granddad and his living siblings (one of whom would follow her father only slightly over 2.75 years later).

Great-Granddad was going to be 18 that October (and to compound the worst matters in his life, he turned 25 on a day on which a 25th birthday would not be joyous to anyone—Black Thursday). So on that birthday (and subsequent birthdays), he had to remember the loss of his father (with whom he had a conflicted relationship—or at least I'd be surprised if he didn't have a conflicted relationship with him—and subsequent birthdays would become even worse as the years passed and worse events kept happening—in fact, his 35th birthday had the fresh pain of Black Thursday's 10th anniversary and the only-almost-two-months old invasion of Poland).

As for Great-Granddad's youngest sibling, she wasn't yet even nine months old when Great-Great-Granddad died—and the oldest surviving one had, if you count 13 as the bat-mitzvah age, become a bat-mitzvah that year (and she was the one whom followed Great-Great-Granddad into death on June 23, 1925).

At least none of them were around to see 9/11. However, my great-granddad's widow—to whom he was quite abusive, and with whom she obviously had a conflicted relationship—was, and so were four of his five children (One died seven hours after birth, right before the 10th anniversary of his aunt Regina's death.). While I do not know whether my great-grandma ever met her father-in-law or her sister-in-law Regina, I know that she was well aware that September 11th always carried pain for my great-granddad—as carried every October 24th, and not just because of the September 11th before his 18th birthday—and both were born in Jewish homes (he in Anti-Semitic Polish Russia, she in an Anusi home in Ashley-Hanover Township, Pennsylvania) and raised in Anusi homes, and they thus knew the pain of every passing September 11th (on which Great-Great-Granddad may not have died had his family not disowned him for becoming an Anusi) and October 24th.

I can only imagine how the pain of every other September 11th hit her on 9/11, and I never did ask her because I didn't know our family story—not even that we were and are Jews—not to mention that I saw her only once every year from some time in the 90s until 2005, and I was dealing with an abusive dad (It's like the Passover question that the fourth child doesn't ask—he or she doesn't ask because he or she doesn't know how to ask or maybe even to ask at all.).

I wonder what she thought—or at least would've thought—if she heard this song—I also wonder the same about Pop-Pop (whom was sadly, as Granduncle Tony stated, "Like father, like son.") and Granduncle Tony (whom unexpectedly died on July 31 2014, three days after what would've been his mother's 101st birthday). I also certainly wonder what Great-Granddad would've thought and what Granduncle Red (Francis "Red" Czarnecki, whom died in 1985) would've thought (BTW, he was called "Red" because of his red hair—which, as I later found out, is, so to speak, a dead giveaway of if someone is Jewish in Poland, as is Brown hair for someone whom's a Brown-haired Jew, as Ethnic Poles are indigenously light-haired and light-eyed).

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book (Language Warning): "The Summary Of the Case For Saving The Old Farmhouse..."

Firstly, how the case to save the late Katherine Ushinsky Gajdos’ house is related to shit that I can’t make up:

1.    With my grandaunt Helen Gaydos Wojnar (z”l)—my paternal grandmother’s oldest sibling—being long deceased, her widower and children had decided to tear down her (and my grandmother’s) paternal grandmother’s old farmhouse down without even considering the historical ramifications of tearing down the farmhouse.

2.    Grandaunt Helen’s (and Grandma’s) sister MaryAnn once again told a classic bubbe meise that—I’m sure that—she still hasn’t told anybody: after all, the historical significance of the farmhouse begins with the fact that Anna née Jaszová was not “Maria Anna Yzchinski” by birth. As I mentioned in a telephone conversation and further explained to my father in a text message—since, as I type (on September 6-7, 2017/Elul 15-16, 5777), he’s visited one of Grandaunt Helen’s sons three times while he’s been down in Florida—I understandably wondered if Grandaunt Helen’s widower and descendants left up the farmhouse, which I’d seen the times that we were up on the former Gaydos farmstead (where the Gaydos-Wojnar cabin is).

3.     Bugs, rotting wood, excursions of wildlife within the farmhouse, apparently-common-across-Pennsylvania houses like that, and other given excuses for tearing down the Gaydos Farmhouse are no excuses at all.

4.    Until I brought up the possibilities of renovation or replica building, nobody even considered leaving up the farmhouse.

I gave my father the short version of the historical significance of the Gaydos Farmhouse:

“Mickey Haslin was Great-Granddad Gaydos' maternal cousin. They had the common grandparent of Anna (Szuszanna?) née Jaszová (Yashová), divorced from Jan Haszlinsky and remarried to Jan Uszinsky (Ushinsky). Her parents were Jan and Eva Polinová Jasz (Yash). She was Jewish as were her parents, and as was Jan Uszinsky.

“That is why Great-Granddad identified as "Russian"—his mom, Mickey Haslin's only parental aunt, was born as Katarina Szuszanna Uszinskyová to Slovakian-Jewish parents of Russian-Jewish descent in Gaboltov, Slovakian-Austrian Hungary. Mickey Haslin seems to have done the same—his father was George Hazlinsky, and not a single one of his kids was a "Mary" (even for the traditional Jewish usage for "Miriam". His kids were named Mercedes, Kathleen, and Michael.

“They used a mix of Ashkenazi and Sephardi naming customs, by the way—quite a few Ashkenazim overall, irrespective of beliefs re Jesus or amounts of Sephardi heritage, seem to have done this. "MaryAnn", BTW, could be used for "Miriam Chanah".) That alone makes the farmhouse significant if you ask me—i.e., the Crypto-Jewish paternal aunt of Mickey Haslin and widow of a Crypto Jew (a son of Jan and Anna Hommová Gajdosz) owned that farmhouse as a widow whom posthumously became the paternal grandmother-in-law to one of the three IRS agents whom would help bring Nixon down.

“Also, BTW, Ashkenazi Crypto Jews and their descendants (Anusim Ashkenazim v'B'nei Anusim Ashkenazim) are probably as numerous as Sephardi ones—even John Kerry would be John Kohn and Madeline Albright was born Madeline Korbelová, e.g.. Cameron Kerry is whom is called a "ba'al teshuvah", meanwhile, whereas John Kerry and Joan Kerry identify as Jewish Catholics; and Madeline Albright is a Jewish Episcopalian.”

In other words, the seven following simple words sum up any tearing down of the farmhouse of Katherine Susan Ushinsky Gaydos: a big mistake of literally-historical proportions!

I Do Not Want To Read Or Hear "What The White Supremacists At Charlottesville Are Saying

To me, for news sources such as AOL News to publish articles such as "White supremacist seen in viral photo" is despicable. For people to also be circulating the photo is despicable—despite what he says, he wants to be seen and get publicity for being a racist.

Besides, as I've said, I hear enough White-Supremacist rhetoric from even some of my family members—and we're Anusim and B'nei Anusim! By the way, the cousin who I mentioned before once stated that she "figured that we had Jew blood" or something like that—and she definitely used the "Jew blood" phrasing, which is Anti-Semitic phrasing.

As for another family member, for instance, she blamed part of what happened at the rally for the counterprotestors going down there instead of just ignoring it—in contrast to, for example, her late grandfather (a proud Siedenburg-Mueller, whose ancestors were Lutheran Anusim, and a proud Lehr) whom chased her future mother with a belt when she joked to her brother, "You're just like ******"  (Incidentally, her mother may also have been Jewish, as—for instance—her paternal grandmother was a Peltz for no baptism record has ever been found for her, in contrast to the DeBoys for whom baptism records have been found.).

In conclusion, then, I don't want to give the White Supremacists a platform that many of my own family already seem to (in their cases, self hatingly) take—as I said, I hear enough White-Supremacist rhetoric from even some of my family members (By the way, most White-Supremacist rhetoric at least nowadays is more Anti Semitic—and more Anti-Semitism driven in the first place—than it is Afrophobic, Hispanophobic, Arabophobic, or otherwisely bigoted toward gentiles.).

Excerpt From My Upcoming Book: It Began In the Toponymical City of Dunilavičy

I don’t know how I didn’t know other than that I wasn’t told that I’m Jewish—let alone the whole backstory behind why we passed for gentiles. What I do know is that I should’ve known when someone asked me if I am—that is, if I am related to Kirk Douglas. I honestly remembered that “Danilovich” was a patronymic in his case, and I told the person that “Danilovich” is a patronymic in his case and not related to “Daniłowicz” in my paternal family’s case.

Then I relooked at the Wikipedia entry—“Demsky” wasn’t his birth surname after all, as I found out. After that, I saw the family resemblance—and the “Czarnecki buttchin” turned out to be the Danilovich-dimpled chin, I figured out. Then after that, I read about how Kirk Douglas raped Natalie Wood—and I should’ve known that I’m related to Kirk Douglas even if I’d only read about that.

Leave to the Daniloviches to wreak havoc on the world—and my own side of the family had and has done plenty of that—and each other—and even many (if not most) of us that try to be good aren’t innocent of having wreaked some havoc. We also have havoc wreaked on us by others besides each other—as I say, “If you’re a Danilovich, you either are trouble, attract trouble, or [have a case of] both[instances —that is, that you both are trouble and attract trouble].” (By the way, I used to say “crazy” instead of “trouble”, but then I considered how “crazy” is ableist language.)

Meanwhile, as I’ve also said, there’s something in that Danilovich water—and it all (apparently, anyway) began in Dunilavičy, Belarus (Duniłowicze, Białorus), to where I’ve traced it back (thus, why I say “apparently”: it could be Daniłowicze in what is now Podlaskie, Poland or another Daniłowicze or Dunilavičy).

Using JewishGen and Google Maps as well as other sources (including YadVashem, since I ended up finding—for example—a record for an Esther Chernetzki from Chausy—the birth city of Herschel “Harry” Danilovich), I’ve traced my Danilovich/Daniłowicz from Dunilavičy to Podlaskie, Poland’s Lipsk nad Bierbzą as such—this is, for all intents and purposes, a very-rough tracing, by the way. Also by the way, keep factors such as the following (and I think that you can tell that I’ve researched all of this and also figured out quite a bit):

1.    There was no traveling outside of the Russian Pale and back to it without permission to be outside of the Russian Pale in the first place.

2.    Per JewishGen, Lipsk shifted from being in Borisov Uyezd in Minsk Gubernia to Augustów Uyezd in Suwałki Gubernia by 1900.

3.    The shift from being openly Jewish to being Anusim seems to have come from Abram “Wojciech” and Marianna Kruszyńska Daniłowicz when a son named Mendel died in Filipów in 1841. Their daughter who was the mother of my paternal grandfather’s paternal grandfather was baptized as “Katarzyna” in 1843.

4.    In Wigry its subordinate parish, no way was “prenuptial agreement” going to mean anything but “ketubah”. Also in Wigry and its subordinate parish, parents didn’t “neglect” baptizing any child for four years!

5.    The Daniloviches, Chernetzkis, etc. (e.g., Kruszyńskis, Andrulewiczes, and Margiewiczes) all either somehow heard of each otherand/or were otherwise connected prior to ending up in what is now Podlaskie Voivodeship.

6.    Related to the aforementioned: branches of the Daniloviches, etc. also ended up together in Mount Carmel, Pennsylvania—in other words, Great-Granddad Czarnecki’s closer sides of his parents’ families that immigrated to Pennsylvania stuck together.

[Not previewed here]

The next few screenshots are from JewishGen. As I’ve said when I’ve written about my family history other times, they—despite what they claim—cannot copyright the information itself, although they can indeed copyright the database technology that they use for the JewishGen databases. Besides, that information was known and/or discoverable long before they were founded—let alone before I was born!

[Not previewed here]

As for the rest of my Danilovich side’s story, that can be read elsewhere. So can the story of Kirk Douglas’ side.

PS As I’ve said, I wish that Lana Wood would name Kirk Douglas before he dies—and I wish that she would name Kirk Douglas before it’s too late for her to name her sister’s rapist!

A Woman Whom Abused Her Puppy? Or Did She Have A Severe Mental-Illness Flareup?

I wonder if she has severe mental illness such as Bipolar or Schizoaffective Disorder. Before people judge her as "trash", they need to remember that people with mental illnesses such as  Bipolar and Schizoaffective Disorders act highly unusually during mental-illness flareups. My sister has a friend whom may have Schizoaffective Disorder and even got him- or her-self in academic and legal trouble as a result of a mental-illness flareup, for example (He or she is known to have Bipolar Disorder for sure.). 

Meanwhile (and those who have read my blog previously know this), my great-great-grandmother Alexandria Czarnecki was known as "a holy terror" and "a tough cookie" whom almost caused my great-grandmother Mary Czarnecki to have a mental breakdown. Only when I saw my great-granduncle Bernie Czarnecki's death certificate did I figure it out: Great-Great-Grandma had Schizophrenia (the other mental illness of which Schizoaffective Disorder is comprised). As far as I know, Great-Granduncle Bernie was the only of my Czarnecki great-granduncles and great-grandaunts to have had it, by the way; and Great-Granddad Czarnecki seems to have not had Schizophrenia (He did have suicide-affecting Depression, though; so, he was not completely lucky in terms of escaping mental illnesses. He had his own struggles.).

The Good, The Bad, And The Kevin Myerses And Reverend Kellys

Eerily enough, we were just talking about my dad's childhood Irish-American priest and his Anti Semitism. Sadly, there is a lot of Anti Semitism within quite a few pockets of some Irish Catholic circles....and you know what? Maybe that's another part of why his father's parents did not want his uncle marrying an Irish-American woman. 

(By the way, I've done a lot of family and other research as well as lived quite a life for being 27 years old: I can thus deduct, read between the lines, and otherwise have ways to figure out what I'm not exactly or at all being told.)

Long story short, Dad's from a family of Anusim Ashkenazim and B'nei Anusim Ashkenazim, and Pop-Pop's parents themselves were sort of intermarried: Great-Grandma believed in Jesus (and Great-Great-Grandma was not thrilled about this, as I deducted); and Great-Granddad did not (To him, shidduch shmidduch in any case, though: he wasn't in the Old Country, anyway.). Both of them, however, were not happy when Granduncle Tony wanted to marry a daughter of one of the Sugar Notch Lenahans (Her mother was the Lenahan.): "She's Irish!"

Pop-Pop himself married a daughter of a Rusnak whose father was somehow a relative of Yehoshua Rusnak (though I'm not sure that Grandma knew this at the time). Not that the family prominences figured into the marriage decisions, anyway; and even if they had, Great-Granddad had prominent-enough family himself, anyway, thanks (His cousin Katherine, e.g., married a Chokola; and long story short, the Chokolas are somehow Jewish). The point was that a Jew was a Jew, irrespective of belief; an Irisher was a Irisher, and you could bet that he or she grew up Catholic.

As if my great-grandparents were prescient about things that would turn out in the most-ironic way possible, it actually ended up going well for Granduncle Tony and (sadly) his widow (He died just after her 70th birthday and after they'd been married for 46 years.), and Pop-Pop got stuck with a certain Reverend Kelly as his family's pastor when he moved his family down to Glen Burnie and attended The Good Shepherd: he himself would fall asleep in the back of the church while everyone else attended services.

Only later, meanwhile, did I figure out that Reverend Kelly had a clear Anti-Semitic bias against us: according to my mother, whom is herself mostly from Irish-Catholic stock, my sister and I actually held out our hands correctly for Catholics—and not Episcopalian wise—after all when we attended a Christmas service at the Good Shepherd, including with begrudging Dad (and that Dad had to deal with Father Kelly helps one to understand why he turned out how he turned out—you deal with people in authority whom want to think that they know better than even God Himself, you might also turn out how Dad turned out. By the way, some are skeptical that Reverend Kelly was solely at fault—one good thing about attending what's now NDMU is that I know how many Roman Catholic teachers, laymen and clergy alike, think that they know better than God and try to teach their students to be robots instead of students).

Had I known that we're Jewish back then and that we did hold out our hands correctly after all, I would have realized that the same pastor whom hated my dad as his student back then picked on his now-grown former student's Jewish-looking children—as I've found out, we couldn't pass back then or now even if nobody would say anything—and years later, I am not surprised.

At least I (can be at least fairly certain that I) know that Reverend Kelly will have to (if he hasn't already had to) face a Jewish Jesus someday, and hearing "I never knew you!" will be (or was) painful: after all, as Corrie ten Boom stated, "You can't love God without loving the Jewish people," and she was paraphrasing the Paul of Tarsus whom reminded the gentiles at Rome that gentiles are grafted-in branches of the Tree of Life and Jews are the regrafted-in branches.

Update: After doing some quick Googling:

1. Reverend Kelly is out of The Good Shepherd. God hath given each according to his or her works, I see. Nonetheless, he his sycophants
2. I see nothing to indicate that he's died. Since he's still alive, then, he has had some time to reflect on what he's done throughout his life.

Regarding Hananya Naftali And A Disturbing Report About Him

In a Facebook group of which I'm a member, the group moderator shared a video of self-professed Jewish Christian and survivor of terrorism Hananya Naftali speaking at a UN Security Council Form. Someone objected to the sharing of the video on the grounds that Hananya Naftali may not actually be a terrorism survivor or anything else but a Messianic Jew whom deceitfully claims to have survived a terror attack in order to proselytize.

Just as I replied in the group, I'll post here for two reasons:

1. In case my comment understandably gets deleted—after all, as I said, Hananya Naftali reflects poorly on Jewish Christians if he is lying about whether he survived a terror attack.
2. As I implicitly replied to the original commenter, the report about Hananya Naftali is disturbing either way: that is, it's disturbing whether someone's lying about Hananya Naftali simply because he is a Jewish Christian or whether—more disturbingly—Hananya Naftali is using a Pseudo-Messianic-Jewish form of taqiyya, as what Mohammed did to promote Islam in his days has no compatibility with or equivalent to what Jesus taught, regardless of what one makes of Jesus—after all, Jesus was at least a rabbi whom taught that one should not bear false witness, and any "Messianic Jewish" form of taqiyya contravenes the Torah that Jesus taught and followed. By the way, I can find no news reports about Hananya Naftali actually having survived a terror attack in any case.
3. I'm a bat Anusim whose ancestors survived Anti Semitism as best as they could, and—for example—I'm unfortunately sure that part of what contributed to Great-Granddad Czarnecki's decision to commit suicide was the Anti Semitism that he endured as a child—you try being a 60-year-old Anusi whom, even though you were no hero, you had a rough life and became less than heroic in many ways partly because you were affected by how you started off life: in Anti-Semitic Polish Russia and having converted to Roman Catholicism before you were even a school-aged child because of the pogroms, and thus having your family back in Poland having disowned you and your parents because you became Anusim; and then fleeing to the United States to live as an Anusi in not-much-better-but-at-least-nominally-religiously-free Pennsylvania—and you end up in the Sugar Notch area, which is part of why you have to live as an Anusi. When you're sitting around after you've lost a job due to severing three toes and your lower leg in a work-related accident with a lawnmower, you think about those first 18-21 years of your life when all you can do is sit around and think instead of work—and your flareup of Depression becomes all the more exacerbated. Were you around today, you'd want to throttle that Hananya Naftali kid if he is lying, and you'd love tell him exactly about what you survived as opposed to what he only claimed to have survived—and from what I understand, Great-Granddad (given that he had no problem being abusive towards others) would certainly not hesitate to have throttled someone if he could have and needed to have throttled someone for good reason (After all, someone who turns out to be abusive since he or she was affected by abuse may well stand up to abusers whom are like the abusers that he or she had and has faced before. Also, keep in mind that he worked in the coal mines until times became too hard for the coal mines to run in Sugar Notch—so, he had a good deal of strength prior to his work-related lawnmower accident—and he also worked at a silk mill in his teenage years.).

As I replied to the original commenter, then:

"1) I don't see how that changes that he[, Hananya Naftali] was targeted because of his ethnicity, assuming that he was telling the truth about what happened to him. 2) If he was indeed lying, I as a Jewish Christian apologize on behalf of those like Hanaya Naftali and can tell you that he reflects himself and only himself. In fact, the majority of us are far different from the caricatures that Hananya Naftali likes to make us look like, and we do not condone whatever you call―if I may―his equivalent of taqiyya, as Mohammed and Jesus―regardless whatever you make of him―are not compatible, and no equivalent of taqiyya has any place in the life of any Jewish Christian."

Anti Semitism Came From Outside Of A Hartford Cemetery....And Then There's The Anti Semitism In Luzerne County's Cemeteries

I have living and late relatives who were and are (including ones who currently await the Resurrection Of The Dead) in Madison and Norwalk, and all of us are B'nei Anusim. Besides, for example, I don't know where some relatives who weren't Anusim ended up; and either way, Anti Semites, whether or not they leave written graffiti (as if knocking over matzevot isn't a hateful form of graffiti just because it's unwritten) don't care whether we're Rabbinim, Kara'im, or something else (e.g., Notzrim); or openly Jewish or Anusim, whether or not we're B'nei Anusim.

As is said, it can happen here and it can happen anywhere else.

PS The (perhaps) conspiracy theorist in me says that some of the tombstones in the photos that Dad sent me were knocked over simply because they are or suspected to be matzevot; and the same (perhaps) conspiracy theorist in me suspects that that's why others have been left unmaintained. For example:

I'm not sure whose grave this is. However, the grave in two puctures prior, shown here below, is one of Great-Great-Granddad's cousins (the one whom proved that the sin against Natalie Wood didn't escape being perpetrated by our side of his maternal family, might I add.).

Another one, this after the knocked-over one. Although it hasn't been maintained, it's clearly standing upright and without any deliberate- and/or other clean-looking breaks.

By the way, all but two of the Hartford matzevot that were knocked over were knocked over to this kind of condition (The other two faced the kind of horrid fate that a matzevah in Europe may've faced.)

Meanwhile, two tombstones of people who were born within 20 years of Great-Great-Granddad (December 24, 1875; despite his tombstone giving 1877) are well maintained. One was born in 1869, and another was born in 1885. This tombstone seems to not be a matzevah (or at least a matzevah Yehudit, if you want to get technical and apply "matzevah" to any tombstone) or at least a suspected matzevah, in contrast to the two shown above that may be.

I left this in its original size on purpose. Assuming that the cemetery in the next picture is Holy Family/St. Charles Cemetery, one can see very clearly the stark contrast. Not that Great-Great-Granddad was a hero, by the way—and from what I understand, he wasn't—nonetheless, something's fishy when a tombstone in Holy Family/St. Charles looks like this in contrast to the other tombstones, especially since Great-Great-Granddad donated to its "Free Poland" fund. Also by the way, Great-Grandma (z"l) died only 10 Gregorian years ago and was laid to rest in St. Mary's as a Holy Family parishioner—it isn't like Holy Family doesn't keep track members of parishioning families whom are still in the area—in addition, given that this is why I mention Great-Grandma, she received a prayer shawl (which was not specifically a tallit) that my aunt Mary made for her and was quite thrilled to receive it (I know why, and Great-Grandma apparently did, too 🙂—had I known before she died and at least before the last time that I saw her 🙁! —in other words, only looking back on the times that I saw her and looking back with what I found out in mind did I understand that she was an alter-bubeh.)

Incidentally, St. Mary's does not allow stones on top of any tombstones ("No crushed decorative stones, pebbles, shells or similar materials shall be placed on or around monuments or markers.")....never mind that Jesus was Jewish (and is Jewish if you believe that he's Mashiach like I do); but, okay, then. 🙄 Also never mind that the stones left on matzevot are never "decorative" (While I was looking for the source where I read that no stones are allowed on top of any tombstone, I didn't remember St. Mary's Cemetery having this much of a contempt for Jews. If only we could get Great-Grandma and other proud stholts Yidn out of there, and get each of them among lantzmen and lantzfroyen whom believe as he or she believes, since it happens from within and not only from without—unless you want to count as part of the "without" group the Anti Semites whom affected them to become Anusim, "hidden Jews", regardless of their beliefs.)

This isn't to mention that since I clearly didn't pass—unbeknownst to me until a friend told me, "I figured that you're Jewish. You look Jewish."—at least quite a few ancestors who did know that they're Jewish from the beginnings of their lives didn't pass, no matter how much they tried and/or no matter how much anybody who at least suspected that they're Jewish didn't say.

By the way, Holy Family/St. Charles Cemetery in Sugar Notch is a small one (so are cemetery such as Holy Cross Polish National Cemetery, where Great-Great-Granddad's brother Felix is buried). There is, thus, little to no chance that even some stranger would've just passed over a lonely grave of an apparently-Polish or -otherwise-gentile parishioner in tight-knit, everybody-apparently-knows-somebody-or-of-somebody-somehow Sugar Notch.

Re Tr**p's Freudian Slip Re Auschwitz: At Least...

We now know what Tr**p really thinks about Jews, people with disabilities overall, and others—as if we didn't before! Last night, a video of him calling the "Warsaw Ghetto Uprising" one of the "evils beyond description" that "the Polish people endured" came out, and you can hear his comments from the 0:40-0:53 mark.

By the way—as I've said—I lost relatives in Auschwitz, and my cousin Magdalena Rusznak () was one of then. Also by the way—and as I've also said—I haven't forgotten that threat that I received—that is, the one from the "physically fit German American [whom] can think of a place for [me]"—and you just don't forget those kind of threats if you've received them, especially if you have, for example:

1.  Cerebral Palsy and your own set of mental illnesses (like I do) 
2. a cousin whom died of Schizophrenia due to the ableist T4 program (and Magdalena had Schizophrenia) 
3. a great-great-grandmother whom had Schizophrenia (which explains why "she was a holy terror" and "a tough cookie") and through whom you are a fifth- and fourth-generation pogrom survivor (as her son Anthony came here with her in order to escape the pogroms, and after being disowned because of becoming an Anusi because of his parents becoming Anusim)
4. a great-granduncle whom was a DOW veteran of WW2 and whom died of a Schizophrenia flareup (which finally helped you figure out what your great-great-grandmother had when you found about it

A Very-Open Letter To Cory Galbraith

With all due respect, I would imagine that souls like those of the late Elie Wiesel, Primo Levi, and Billy Wilder were a lot more tortured. In fact, Primo Levi committed suicide and Billy Wilder had to yell "THOSE BASTARDS KILLED MY MOTHER!" at an actor whom turned out to be a Nazi sympathizer.

I say this as one whom, for example, suffers Depression, has a late-great-great-grandmother whose Bipolar Disorder and Post-Partum Depression effected her to suffer Alzheimer's Disease and die in her 60s, has a late great-great-grandmother whom suffered Schizophrenia (as did my late great-granduncle Bernie), was a pogrom survivor (along with my great-grandfather Anthony Czarnecki, whom had Depression and committed suicide), and lost relatives in the Holocaust; and I lost a cousin whom was murdered in the T4 Program due to having Schizophrenia.

But then again, perhaps, what do I know? Perhaps the suffering of Holocaust survivors and other Holocaust-affected people, pogrom survivors (including 4th-generation survivors like me) and other pogrom-affected people, and those with mental illnesses besides Vincent van Gogh meant and mean absolutely nothing. Perhaps Vincent van Gogh suffered worsely than any Holocaust- and pogrom-affected person would ever suffer by having lived and heard about as relatives were gassed, shot, stabbed, hanged, burned, and otherwise murdered; and any other person whom suffered Depression and mental illnesses. By the way, the Holocaust was in Germany as well as Russia, where Stalin implemented a "Final Solution" plan in 1948.

If I don't know whether Vincent van Gogh was "history's most tortured soul", though, then living fellow Holocaust survivors of Elie Wiesel et. al., pogrom survivors and fellow legacy bearers of mine, and others besides me and Vincent van Gogh whose minds and families' minds are and were afflicted by mental illnesses do. 

Re People With Mental Illnesses Having Guns: Should We Be Sitting Ducks For Ableists?

Some people with mental illnesses actually do need guns. For example, vulnerable people who may well be targeted due to have mental illnesses need guns to defend themselves. As for Tr**p, he actually hates people with disabilities, including those whom have mental illnesses.


Thus, this ableist ploy by Tr**p to demonize people with mental illnesses may well backfire on him when his Tr**pites whom are committing hate crimes may realize that people with mental illnesses will not allowed themselves to have people step on them.

As for me, I wish that I had and could use a gun to defend myself against anyone whom would target me due to my Depression, OCD/Anxiety, and/or ADD alone (and wasn't getting a threat from a "physically fit German American" due to being a Jew with disabilities enough?).


Besides, look at how the Nazis were partly able to implement T4: they made it illegal for Jews in Europe to be armed, and (as I found out via JewishGen) I lost a cousin whom was murdered because she had Schizophrenia:

Lodz Ghetto Hospital Death Records

Searching for Surname (phonetically like) : RUSZNAK 1 matching record found. Run on Sun, 18 Jun 2017 22:55:09 -0600

Name	Address Occupation	Born	Died Cause	Comments	Source List Date Page Line
RUSZNAK, Magdalena	V. Str. 10  Bedienerin	1904 Kaschau	27-Jun-1942  Schizophrenie		Hospital Records 29-Jun-1942 2 54

Lumping in all people with mental illnesses with those such as Adam Lanza, whom refused to get help and whom committed a mass murder-suicide shooting, is wrong and playing right into Tr**p's hands.

Re A Tom Robinson Quote That A Friend Shared On Facebook, And My Response With Some Additions

 I take offense to his "Black Holocaust" comment, though. Langston Hughes (per a "Forward" article) put it best when he explained why Jews should be helping Blacks fight for Civil Rights:

"Very early in life, it seemed to me that there was a relationship between the problems of the Negro people in America and the Jewish people in Russia, and that the Jewish people’s problems were worse than ours. Every so often my grandmother would read a headline in the Negro press stating that a Negro had been lynched in Georgia, or two Negroes had been lynched in Louisiana, or three Negroes had been lynched in Texas.
“From our daily paper every so often she would read an item that a dozen Jews had been ridden down by the horses of the Cossacks in the Ukraine, or 50 Jews killed in a pogrom in Old Russia, or a hundred Jews killed and injured by a mob in Poland. So, I thought, here in our American South we Negroes were lynched by ones or twos or threes, but in Tsarist Russia and Poland they killed Jews by the dozens, or even the hundreds." 

(By the way, I just realized that I'm a fourth-generation pogrom survivor. Since Great-Granddad Czarnecki's parents converted to Catholicism to survive the pogroms and—when the openly-Jewish sides of the family cut them off—remained Anusim to survive Anti-Semitism in America, I count as a fourth-generation pogrom survivor in the same way that children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors count as second- and third-generation Holocaust survivors—and to realize that is pretty unnerving, especially since that never would have occurred to me, since I wouldn't have thought of myself as almost comparable to children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. After all, the Holocaust was at the least quite a bit worse than the pogroms, and at the most far worse than the pogroms, notwithstanding how bad the pogroms were.)

Also, Blacks in no way were targeted for mass ethnocide like Jews were, including by our own. Even ****** was unfortunately Jewish (as DNA testing did prove, and a college acquaintance of mine sadly proved to be right). If Tom Robinson can name me one ******, Rumkowski, Torquemada, or even Donin or Christiani equivalent among Black people, I'd love to hear him name one. Even J. Edgar Hoover (who was actually "mulatto") was nowhere near Torquemada.


I also take offense to his "white Christians" comments. Real Christians such as the Grimkes worked to save Blacks from slavery, and I as a mostly-Patrilineal Jew say that my gentile, Irish, Confederate patriarch John Farrell absolutely got what he deserved when they stripped him of his citizenship and made him apply for renaturalization after the Civil War (Mom has Jewish heritage, too, by the way; though she's self loathing about it.).

PS To me, that those such as Rabbi Dr. Heschel (who was a Holocaust survivor), Michael Schwerner, and Andrew Goodman fought with MLK and James Chaney for Civil Rights makes Tom Robinson's comments even more offensive. To mitigate the Holocaust and other Anti Semitism by revisionistly appropriating terms for what we've suffered throughout history is sickening.

My Long Answer To A Friend's "Fill In The Blank" Question

"I'm (ethnicity) and I do not eat... (Finish the sentence)"

For me, I'm Jewish and do not eat a lot of traditional food. Not that I don't want to be more culturally engaged, mind you. Incidentally, my mom, who's not exactly happy about what Jewish heritage she does have, became allergic to shellfish when she was pregnant with me and my sister 😆🖖🏽🖖🏽.

Serves her right, as one doesn't have to be raised Jewish to be Jewish; and it seems like God foresaw that "They're not my people. I wasn't raised Jewish" attitude. Adding "I love the Jewish people" before "They're not my people" and after "I'm not Jewish" isn't a excusing qualifier, either.

Besides, Pop-Pop Pundt didn't chase "Mom-Mom" with a belt for no reason when she flippantly told Granduncle Jack, "You're just like ******" over doing dishes! He was too proud of a Gunther-Lehr and Siedenborg-Mueller Pundt to play that "You're just like ******" game!

Re Weddings Outside Of Shuls, Etc. (Nothing New To Those Whom've Read About & Know My Family History)

I think that that's similar to or exactly what happened with my dad's paternal grandparents (I've yet to find or see the Non-Catholic license, though). They never got their Catholic marriage licensed signed, and Great-Granddad was by no means an actual Catholic: he and his parents were Anusim due to the pogroms and Anti Semitism in the U.S..

Great-Grandma (z"l) was, however, and she and her parents were B'nei Anusim and Anusim. Her mother's parents (Samuel and Rosalia Korschová Munka) converted to avoid Austrian-Hungarian Anti Semitism, and her dad's ancestors (e.g., the Schwarzenbergs turned Czarnogurskys) converted to avoid both Polish-Lithuanian-and-encroaching-Russian and Hungarian Anti Semitism. By the way, both of Dad's paternal grandparents had Sephardic heritage; and, for example, Great-Grandma's matriarch Helena Dudayová was born a Legrádyova.

Also another sidenote: as I think about Great-Grandma, I feel verklempt. If one had met her even once or twice (and I saw her almost every time, if not every time, that I was up in Luzerne County for Dad's mom's family reunion), she'd've been one of the relatives that he or she would have respected the most. She was literally, as I recall, one of the only ones at the time whom treated me—since I have Cerebral Palsy, and her grandson Jamie, whom also has Cerebral Palsy and developmental disabilities—with as much love and respect as she treated her other great-grandchildren and grandchildren.

From what I hear of my great-granddad, on the other hand and as my granduncle Tony shockingly told me when I said something about my dad and granddad, "Like father, like son." I will never forget that Granduncle Tony wrote that, meanwhile, especially since he normally didn't cross Jack Czarnecki openly (and if you knew my grandfather. you might've been tempted to not stand up to him). Other people talked about how awful Great-Granddad was as well; and I've seen pictures of my dad when he was younger and around Great-Granddad, and you could tell that he did not like him if you'd seen the pictures.

One even had the caption "Doesn't seem to upset at his Grandfather Czarnecki". Dad covered up that part of the caption when he scanned it in and sent it to me.

Why I Won't Change The Name Of My Blog

1. If I change the name of my blog, I'm engaging in an ex-post-facto action. Besides, keeping "The Nicole Factor" isn't like—for example and perhaps using an extreme example—if people were to name their children certain names nowadays or, in some cases, keep names that they had prior to certain events. Incidentally, to see that some parents did name and have named their children names such as "_____o" is incredibly disappointing; and I cringe when I see people with that name on Facebook.
2. I thought that those allegations were hit jobs against Bill O'Reilly.
3. I've called for the overturning of "Coker v. Georgia" (1977) and "Kennedy v. Louisiana", pointed out that "sexual assault" is really sexual battery—I've also not shied away from the sad reality that I'm somehow related to Natalie Wood's rapist and Jean Spangler's murderer, and I've talked about how rape did not escape our side of the family: in fact, I was surprised that rape seemed to escape our family and should not have been surprised when I found out that one of Great-Granddad Czarnecki's second cousins was involved in a gang rape (Somehow, the Chernetskis and Daniloviches are related in more ways than one, and both have roots that go back to Chavusy; and every single generation has had to live with whatever started with some Danilovich.).

Point being, then, I'm not going to change the name of "The Nicole Factor" just because the now-ex host of "The O'Reilly Factor" became the worst factor in his and others' lives, since I had nothing to do with what Bill O'Reilly did and I've spoken out against sexual exploitation (including that of the would've-probably-been-raped-anyway Jean Spangler) even within my own family history (and since Natalie Wood's rapist murdered Jean Spangler after she exposed their affair via a note to him, he would've raped Jean Spangler and any other women whom'd've said "No"—that's sadly a pattern among Daniloviches whom continue the family dynamics on any side, sexual and non-sexual dynamics alike.).

An Example Of A Hurt That Only Truth Can Heal (To At Least Some Extent)

"Notwithstanding the opportunity to reach for a better outcome, there was no need for Jonathan, or for us, his parents, to live in shame, and certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie."

This is the exact opposite of how my father feels; and this is notwithstanding that I inherited his OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD. I found out from one of his maternal cousins that his paternal grandfather committed suicide, not died of Black Lung. When I confronted Dad, he gave the excuse that I was too young to know the truth about Great-Granddad's death; and this is despite that the sons of my Granduncle Tony (z"l) was honest with his own children upfront about how their grandfather died, meaning that Dad could've been as honest with me as Granduncle Tony was with his children.

Too often, people who have other things that they want to hide, hide whatever they can with bubbe meises instead of telling the stranger-than-fiction truth; and it has only "certainly no benefit in living with the weight of such a lie." In fact, the bubbe meises make it worse, especially when the truth hits—and when you, for example, ended up in Sheppard Pratt for threatening suicide before you knew what partially explained it: i.e., that your father's paternal grandfather actually committed suicide and passed on his Depression to your grandfather (and you've figured out that your late grandfather had Depression, and that he passed it on to his oldest child), your father, and you.

There's Really No Kind Of Brain Tumor—Or, As My Family Should Know, Any Other Brain Or Cranium Damage—That Is Benign

Ask "Eli", for example:

"The father said he son has undergone three surgeries to remove tumors after being exposed to harmful chemicals at his job, and that his son also has a benign tumor in his head. At a court hearing last week, the teen’s attorney presented photographs and medical imaging of a non-malignant brain tumor that the defense says affects his behavior."

Besides, any kind of brain and cranial damage can mess one up. As I've said, I thought that the autism excuse was a poor one until I remembered my great-granduncle Bernie. Remember that Great-Granduncle Bernie had a botched surgery to remove shrapnel from his head and also had the Schizophrenia that would eventually kill him during a Schizophrenia flareup that effected a coronary occlusion. Being childlike and very gullible due to the brain damage that he sustained, he was additionally vulnerable and, thus, exploited by Great-Granduncle John ("Jankie"") and especially Great-Granduncle Joe ("Susi") to sign off his Social Security benefits, which were supposed to go to the sister whom set up the Social Security account, to them.

There are evil people whom will use the vulnerable for their own ends, and only God knows who's ablelistically and Anti Semitically exploiting "Eli" as much as those two kapos exploited Great-Granduncle Bernie—and exploiting a fellow Jewish World War Two veteran and a younger sibling took a special kind of chutzpah that Great-Granduncle Susi (and I'd call him an SOB as Granduncle Tony understandably did, though—since I know that Great-Great-Grandma had Schizophrenia—that would not be fair to Great-Great-Grandma—and to be fair, Granduncle Tony did not know that she had Schizophrenia; and I didn't know until I saw Great-Granduncle Bernie's death certificate and recalled the accounts regarding her.).

No...You Think, Alec Baldwin?

Blaming other people for your verbal and other abuse only damages your daughter more, by the way:

"'It’s thrown in your face every day. There are people who admonish me, or attack me, and use that as a constant spearhead to do that. It’s a scab that never heals cause it’s being picked at all the time by other people. My daughter, that’s hurt her in a permanent way.'”

Of course verbal-abuse and other-abuse survivors (and others whom were affected, such as primary and secondary witnesses) never forget—we may forgive, though it may take a long time and we may relapse into unforgiveness; and we may not hold grudges (which is what "forgive and forget" really means*, although part of relapsing into unforgiveness includes relapsing into holding grudges); but what we won't forget, even when specific instances are far enough in the back of our minds, in our subconsciouses, or repressed altogether and in the inaccessible parts of our memories.


*It's as when God says that He'll "remember [our] sins no more" and that love "keeps no record of wrongs"—in other words, He won't hold what we did against us; but He doesn't forget what we did.

Offbeat: To "Momma", A Reminder Of the Reilly & Air Force (And Other Military) Personnel For Whom She's Grateful

Upon reading about Bodza Smith (ז'ל) and Sgt. Kyle Smith (USAF), "Momma" once again thought about the Reilly for whom she's grateful (especially as she's reminded that tomorrow was as guaranteed for Bodza as it is for Reilly, and is for herself as it is for Sgt. Kyle Smith—i.e., not at all). She also thinks about especially the Air Force vets and active-duty Air Force members among her loved ones (family, friends, and others)—currently in her life and yet to connect or reconnect with her, known and unknown to her, having met Reilly and yet to meet Reilly, etc..

Remember that Reilly is, for example, a "grandniece" of a retired Air Force colonel and an Air Force veteran whom almost served in Vietnam, and a "great-grandniece" of a World War Two veteran whom served in the Air Force—all of whom are descendants of her name honorees. She's also a writing subject mainly due to the inspiration of another Air Force veteran, although "Momma" doesn't know if he served in Vietnam (She had the impression that he served stateside similar to how one of Reilly's "great-great-granduncles" whom was in the Army served stateside in World War Two.).

By the way, "Bodza" is a name mainly in Poland, Hungary, and Croatia—where "Momma" and Reilly have Jewish (and MaltiJewish) roots.