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Showing posts with label disabilities. Show all posts
Showing posts with label disabilities. Show all posts

Friday, September 19, 2014

#HeardWhilstDisabled and Chapelgate Presbyterian Church (And Academy)...

By the way, just in case certain people are wondering, I still remember how the supposed church of "Healing, Renewal, and Peace" could not been worse to especially those with disabilities, those who come from broken homes, and Jews (and I am a Jew who has a disability and comes from a broken home). I can recall specific examples to this very day. Also, I have nothing to hide; and just remember this: I know who God is, and He will judge righteously.

Some of the ones that are seared most into my memory are the following, and not in any particular order (I could name more, though these will suffice to be enough named—and I'm sure that I've written about others before.):


  1. A certain pastor quoted the Hitler of his day—Martin Luther. Now that I chillingly think on it, there is no wonder that a man who would advocate to "sin freely" due to grace would order that one should round up Jews, burn our institutions, and murder us in the end as well. Contrary to this pastor (who, as I will later prove, is indeed like his mentor Martin Luther), grace is the opposite of a license to sin.
  2. This same pastor called the Ark of the Covenant a "holy piece of furniture". The Aron HaKodesh, the Holy Ark, is the very representation of Yeshua's tomb (The kaporet represents the stone that was rolled away and the angels who announced that Yeshua was risen.)—and a pastor called such a representation "furniture"!
  3. The school (Chapelgate "Christian" Academy) hired a man who supports George Soros—the man who funded the repulsive Indiana University at Bloomington study against Bill O'Reilly—and does not consider a lewd picture of a then-15-year-old Miley Cyrus to be inappropriate. I should know—I sat in that man's class and confronted him on both issues. He also, by the way, finds this parody clip funny—as if pushing a man with a disability out of a wheelchair is funny. (There is, I guarantee, a special place in Hell for that man, by the way.).
  4. For later writing the truth about certain staff members at the church, one of them threatened to sue me.  Had I the chutzpah, I would publish the exact words (that is, copy and paste them here) as they were written to me. Despite that I have nothing to hide, I do not believe in giving criminals fodder (and I should have pressed charges concerning a threat of a frivolous lawsuit, given that said threat could easily fall under the category of "criminal libel or the involvement thereof"). By the way, lawsuits (especially frivolous ones) are against Christian teaching
  5. One of the school's secretaries told me something like, "Your dad is not a nice man." Where was the "So, I did call Social Services, because now I get what's going on" word of encouragement? As far as I recall, not there. To know that she thought that my dad is not nice helped, though to not have another witness only hurt me in the long run. As faith is without works, so words are without action.
Keep in mind, by the way, that being a child of divorce and being a Jew are both considered as disabilities (aka, stigmas) in many parts of society (besides Chapelgate). I myself cannot tell you how many times I have been called a "k***", for example (In fact, I have highlighted some examples below; and I never would have looked for or at those examples again if I didn't have to do so.). Nonetheless, being a Jew is not really a disability or a stigma (despite that certain pastors and other people would like everyone to think that it is). As for being a child of divorce, that can be a stigma—partly because of people like the Chapelgaters who do not help out children of divorce or their parents who definitely could use some help.

Meanwhile, here is Martin Luther's and a certain pastor's real group of compatriots (Note that I censored the objectionable language in the comments, all of which I made sure were barred from appearing in public in their original forms.). After all, they are the ones who find Ha'Aron HaKodesh to be a "piece of furniture" and grace a license to sin:


FractalEffect777
You are one sickening looking k***. [Bleep] Jew r***



Titus Amalek [who believes that "free speech" means a license to say anything, which sounds familiar]
Mocking k***s and r*****s is fun, especially when you can get two birds with one stone: a r******d k***, ie. Canavan's Syndrome, lol. [Bleep] the Afro-Asiatic m****** usurer k***s. They betrayed Spain
peter griffin [who objected to a Jewish comedian's rebuke of an ignorant heckler]
+Nicole Czarnecki you must be a k*** too!!


How's that "sin freely" theology looking now, by the way? As a sidenote, "sin boldly" does mean "sin freely." Furthermore, incidentally, Luther stated "I know Satan very well. If Satan can turn God's Word upside down and pervert the Scriptures, what will he do with my words -- or the words of others?". He didn't need anyone to twist his Pseudo-Christian, Anti-Semitic words, did he (since they weren't twisted in the first place!)? I must say that the "I know..." statement was very honest on Luther's part.

Even more so, "This error of free will is a special doctrine of the Antichrist." Indeed, to know one does take one (and eventually, Luther's true colors showed—and his Anti-Semitic character broke through his Pseudo-Christian edifice—didn't it?). Also, Luther died because of his wickedness (and Wikipedia, who is Anti Christian [and especially Anti Jewish Christian] loves to use people like Martin Luther as examples of Christians).

One more thing: look up what Martin Luther thought the following of those with disabilities (and why he certainly would not have helped them get to church on Sundays).



Monday, August 25, 2014

Being A Person With A Disability—And Thus, An Occupational Pariah

I got the following e-mail:

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This email was intended for Nicole V. Czarnecki (Volunteer at Allan Kittleman for County Executive). Learn why we include this.

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When I saw said e-mail, I was floored. What; me? What do I know? I can't even get a job yet; and, let alone, I don't have a job. Then I thought about my disability—which is why I can't get a job, and not because I'm not capable, either.

[Of course, I couldn't post what I've said and will say here because I got the error message (as modified to be as close to what it was on the page), "Sorry, there was an error loading the page. Please refresh the page or try again later."

I remembered, for example, the "What Would You Do?" exposé concerning people with deafness and human-resources managers, the time that my applying for a Fox News internship was shot out of the water because I can't drive (and who does want his or her mom driving him or her after a certain age, as this guy—who was not born with a disability—points out among other things that he pointed out? He specifically pointed out that having one's mom be his or her best friend after a certain age is not cool, by the way.).

I also, in having been trying to be a commentator and get some work out there, have been called a "gimp". I'm also the one who, according to my sister, would get backlash for a note regarding the ALS Ice Bucket Challenge when I know what having something relatively-somewhat similar is like (and God forbid that, for instance, some peer ever does a "Cerebral Palsy Gait Race" or "Scissor-Leg Race" Challenge, though [sadly] some smart aleck who thinks that having Diplegic Spastia/Mild Quadriplegia is funny and worth a publicity stunt will).

I furthermore note how being "lame", having a "crippled [whatever—e.g., economy]", etc. is perfectly acceptable to note in our culture as well. I even note that popular shows such as Family Guy and celebrities such as George Takei are still celebrated instead of shunned for using people with disabilities as scapegoats, pawns, etc..

Yet, many continue to wonder why people with disabilities can't or won't get jobs. In addition, often the "won't get jobs" group also belong in the "can't get jobs" group—since, after all and for instance, we keep trying to look for jobs to which we can't drive, etc., when we could work from home if our potential employers would help us out a little and/or even pay it in advance ["pay it forward"] a little by helping us get to our jobs. Not all of us, especially people like me with single parents with whom we're still living because we can't drive, can just go out and get a driver's license or a ride any time that we would like to do so. Also, even programs for people with disabilities cost money that we just don't have or don't always want to be borrowing. By the way, don't get me started on how the one in my childhood county works, especially when medical professionals who could be helping the applicants just can't or don't get it (at least initially). 

As for when we can ride to where we need to go, we're quite literally relegated to the back of the bus (at least in my childhood county) unless the bus does include a ramp in the front. Not all of us can walk, if at all, without walkers/carts, crutches, etc. most or all of the time, and that's exactly why the wheelchair lift is in the back (I was born in 1990; believe me, I am not stupid and hatred against people with disabilities has not dissipated to this day.). We are looked at and treated like Blacks in general in the United States used to be, and like Haredi and quite a few other women in Israel, and we know it as well as those who treat us evilly do (despite that they'd like to think that those of us who are able to know it are ignorant of it). 

Therefore, we're treated the same way in even trying to get to job interviews as we are in actually getting to jobs that we can actually secure—lucky if we're treated well, not surprised (or at least we shouldn't be surprised) when we're treated horribly, and amazed at how much and how long we can hold on to anything good. After all, they put us in the back of the bus (if they even take us); how much more so would they like to not even hire us, let alone see and admit that we're capable of doing what jobs that we can do and keep if they would let us actually keep those jobs. Again, after all, we're capable of doing what jobs that we can do, and we usually seek out the kinds of jobs that we can do.

We just, as I've stated, need a little help along the way. Having us work from home or even somehow helping us out in terms of getting to job interviews, for example, wouldn't hurt too many employers who are at least looking to fill their persons-with-disabilities quotas, now would it? The same wouldn't hurt the same group if they are also looking to brag about hiring people with disabilities, now would it? The same also wouldn't hurt the same quota fillers and braggers if they are also looking to brag about general employment diversity, would it?

After all, quite a bit of what employers get out of employees is how much they invest of what they need to invest in their employees. For example, an employer will get the full 10% of what he needs to invest in his workforce if he invests all of that 10%, now won't he? In the same way, the people who want and/or need to hire people and retain employees with disabilities could invest what they need to invest in potential job candidates and retained employees.

I could go on, though I think that I've made my point. In case I haven't, let me sum it up as follows:

  1. People will disabilities are treated as pariahs, whipping boys and girls, etc. in this culture.
  2. Since we are treated as such in this culture, we are treated as such in the overall workforce—which affects and is affected by this culture as much as any other institution does and is.
  3. Since we are treated as such in both the culture at large and in the general workforce, we end up being being unable and, thus, unwilling to look for and keep jobs.
  4. Nonetheless, especially employers who have persons-with-disabilities quotas to fill, and quota filling and diversity about which they would like to brag ought to do what gets them to fill their quotas and honestly brag.
  5. Therefore, the people who want and/or need to hire people and retain employees with disabilities could invest what they need to invest in potential job candidates and retained employees.
  6. After all, employers are supposed to be strategic in hiring and retaining their employees, and thus expand and retain their workforces.

In conclusion, I rest my case (Incidentally, I did want to be a lawyer at one time. On that note, quite a few people who stereotyped me and told me that I could be an advocate for people with disabilities [as if, obviously, I am nothing more than a person who has a disability.]).
 


Saturday, July 12, 2014

Close To Death...And Would Blue Cross/Blue Shield Let Sophia Die?!

Would Blue Cross/Blue Shield have denied me because of my Cerebral Palsy (e.g., my ITB Pump) and other conditions? Why, then, would they deny Sophia? "Sophia was born 3 months early and spent 71 days in the NICU."

I was in Sophia's position. Diagnosed at 1.5 years old with Mild Quadriplegia Cerebral Palsy, I had a Category-Three brainbleed that caused my CP on January 24, 1990 (and this was after I was born on January 23, 1990). I spent 75 days in the NICU because of it. I had come home on April 7, 1990; apparently unable to walk, talk, write, etc..



I beat the odds. Sophia did, too. Why doesn't Blue Cross/Blue Shield get that? Do they want her to die? They didn't want me to die (though, scarily, they might have were I born nowadays).

Tuesday, February 4, 2014

If I Am Going To Be An Advocate For the Disabled...

I'm the Martin Luther King, Jr. of people with disabilities, or at least I'd better be. Dr. Rev. King had a dream:

And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:
                Free at last! Free at last!
                Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!3

That dream, however, has clearly not come true for the disabled. We are, for a lack of a better term, today's "Negros" (Remember how Senator Harry Reid even defined then-Senator Obama as a "light-skinned African American with no Negro dialect"?). Just like African Americans were solely defined by their skin color and ethnicity, those of us who have disabilities are defined by our disabilities—and whether we're Jews or gentiles, Blacks or Non Blacks (heck, even Black Jews), or anything else does not matter.

We're the "cripples". The "retards". The "gimps". It's even embedded in our political language. Ask Scumbag Steve or the Far Right who hates "libtards". Ask the despicable tweeter who told me to "Pls stfu" when I confronted her on calling Democrats "handicapped Democraps". Ask Wendy Russell Davis and her supporters who made fun of Attorney General Greg Abbott. Ask the rapper who said that John McCain doesn't belong in a chair "unless he's paralyzed". Ask the "Crips", who would like to cripple people and are obviously making fun of people whose bodies are already crippled.

Ask even Geraldo Rivera, who (as I understand) called Greg Abbott "handicappable". Ask even the late Senator Ted Kennedy, who passed the Americans With Disabilities Act to score votes from the disabled community—which is pretty obvious, given that he never brought his sister Rose home from the institution in which she was squared away; and she died being institutionalized instead of being on one of the Kennedy compounds and surrounded by family and friends (and Rose's being in a hospital in the state in which she was institutionalized and surrounded by only four family members, when she could have been at home and cared for by people who knew and loved her, does not count. Senator Kennedy was rich and resourced enough to bring her home where she knew and loved people, and could be familiar with her surroundings—and he knew it as well as I know it).

I could give more examples—for instance, how when people hobble, limp around, or fall is apparently funny (since, after all, that kind of situation is often used as "slapstick comedy" or "situational humor"). You get the point by now, though.

Since some clearly want to define me by my disability, you may get what you wanted—and whatever happens is on your hands as well as mine.


Monday, February 3, 2014

Alright; Alright; The Proverbial Cat Is Out Of The Bag

I thought that I hid this from Twitter, Facebook, and Yahoo!, since I didn't want to get into trouble with or being disfavored by Geraldo Rivera or other people. Nonetheless, I did ask, "Do you think that Geraldo Rivera will retire this year?" Even last night, Johnny Dollar tweeted me:

  1. Tiny Klout Flag63johnny dollar ‏@johnnydollar01Feb 1
    Remember Geraldo said big news about his tv show coming ‘by week’s end’? That was 2 wks ago! Have you heard anything? I havent
  2. Tiny Klout Flag42N.V. Mara Czarnecki ‏@NickidewbearFeb 1
    Me neither. I wonder what's going on.
  3. Tiny Klout Flag63johnny dollar ‏@johnnydollar01Feb 1
    I don’t think his Saturday show has been on at all this year. Instead Red Eye and tonite a Hannity repeat. Odd.


    Reply to  
    Image will appear as a link
  4. Tiny Klout Flag42N.V. Mara Czarnecki ‏@NickidewbearFeb 1
    I agree.

Please note that I made unequivocally and absolutely clear, "I'm a fan of Geraldo. I'm just seeing that Geraldo's glory days could possibly be coming to a sad end. He will be 71 on July 4th, though; and his dad did sadly die at the age of 72 on Thanksgiving Day of 1987. So, Geraldo could be slowing down professionally in (God forbid) his final years. Also, he did eerily say that he has four more years left in him professionally speaking a while back."

Please especially take careful notes of the phrase "I'm a fan", "sad end", "sadly", "God forbid", and "eerily". I also did not vote on the poll myself. I hope that Geraldo lives to be 120 years old and has 50 more professional years, and even makes a comeback that I would envy—e.g., 504 "likes" on a picture during the Superbowl is good enough; and imagine how many likes he'd get if he made a full comeback!

One voter (not to mention that my sister has) even asked (as my sister has several times), "Who gives a crap?" (As my sister has asked it, "Who cares?") My response is, "I cares." or "I care. Aren't I somebody?" or "I care. Am I a nobody?" Besides, as one person stated on Geraldo's photo, "Geraldo, you deserve major cheers for the reporting you did on Willowbrook and the mistreatment of the mentally challenged. That's what I always will remember you for."

As I've said myself (even though Mom and Michelle try to convince me of otherwise), Geraldo kept me out of Willowbrook—I would've been in there for having Cerebral Palsy alone. The OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD would've just been the proverbial icing on the proverbial cake of excuses for someone who would've wanted to put me in Willowbrook (e.g., Dad or Pop-Pop, and they would have made sure that the divorce-case judge ordered Mom to do that or give custody to Dad so that he could do that).

So, at risk of getting into trouble and incurring disfavor, I ask whether you think that Geraldo Rivera will (in my opinion, sadly) retire this year.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Open Letter To Stephen Colbert (And Be Warned That You Might Be Offended)

With all due respect, Mr. Colbert, you are scum! You state, "“I’ve got nothing against brains, some of my best friends have them[;] but you cannot scrap football over brain damage. Just ask the brain-damaged.”"

For one matter, people are not brain damaged just because they disagree with you. For another matter, football players know the risks—and if they don't, something should tell them that wearing helmets means protection from the possibility of brain damage. For still another matter, you insult the really brain damaged, who could never or can no longer make their own decisions competently and independently. Ask my granduncle Jim—whose son's brain was damaged by unexplainable seizures and an overdose of codeine, which his aunt had no idea was an allergen to him when she took him to the hospital to try to stop her one-a-half-year-old nephew's seizures. Also ask my cousins Kevin and Kayla (if they'll talk to you, since they surely won't talk to me)—their mother attempted suicide and can't remember her three months in the hospital that followed her suicide attempt. She asked questions like, "You were there?" when Kayla talked about being at the hospital—she clearly couldn't remember, and that she had damaged her heart sac and kidneys was enough. Ask her older brother, my dad, while you're at it.

Again, Mr. Colbert, you, with all due respect, are scum—and as blunt and harsh as that is, that is a compliment to someone who would insult those with whom he disagrees and make fun of mentally-disabled people.

Friday, January 24, 2014

Part Of Why I Just Feel Like Giving Up Quite Often

https://twitter.com/GeraldoRivera/status/426684163291226112I didn't necessarily know how to start answering the question of why I just feel like giving up quite often. Then I found a Sodahead poll that gave me a start. As I answered, life is getting worse in general. "It's a paradox. On one hand, we'll always have poor people (cf. Matthew 26:11, Mark 14:7, John 12:8). On the other, much is required from whom has much (cf. Luke 12:48). Now, nobody was poor among the Church in its early days (cf. Acts 4:32-5:11), but we're in the End Days and life is getting worse and worse (cf. Daniel 12:1, e.g.)."

Since (as the old saying goes) it's all going to Hell (quite literally, and at least for a little while, anyway—for "Heaven and earth will pass away," as Matthew 24:35a states) and there will be a new Heaven and new Earth (cf. Revelation 21:1, e.g—meaning that this age will pass away, and a new age that'll last for 1,000 years and eternity will come), just to throw in the towel (so to speak) is quite tempting. Besides, I just found out that my major may indefinitely leave me in unemployment limbo—and I obviously still don't have a job, or else I wouldn't be in unemployment limbo (well, really, non-employment limbo—since I've never been employed, so I can't have ever been unemployed). Also, as my Political Science 301 class's textbook reads, Political Science is a major for those who want to study (e.g., research in) the science of politics, not actually practice politics—and I may have majored in History or Journalism had I known that, and even Mom says that I should have majored in Computer Science or Information Systems instead of Political Science—and here, I thought that I had a major that would help me get into the news business or politics! 

Furthermore, my attempt at getting even an interview miserably has failed so far—and both times!—and on the day that I was going to improve my interview video (long story short), I was unable to make the video due to audio and other problems (e.g., a fight with my sister that did not end well—and to end that fight took a lot of time and energy). Also, being on LinkedIn has not helped.

Apparently, doing a YouTube video and utilizing social media to even seek an interview in this day and age has ironically (and/or paradoxically) backfired—here, as a friend noted, I was trying to be innovative and, in my innovation, miserably failed. In addition, Mom said that I should do it the traditional way and send out resumes, cover letters, etc..

Well, excuse me, Mom—if I could drive around to employment places and send out resumes, etc., I would. Then again, I really have no resume on which to go. In addition, being (or at least trying to be) humble and honest (as is my Christian duty) leaves me all the more in non-employment limbo. One of the criticisms that I got was that I was too personal in my interview video. Well, excuse me—what would have happened if I didn't disclose that, for instance, I have Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD until an interview? Either way, I'm screwed: damned if I do, and damned if I don't!

Furthermore (again with Mom not knowing what the heck she's saying), disabled people are still looked at as liabilities and scapegoats (and again, what would have happened if I didn't disclose that, for instance, I have Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD until an interview?). After all, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (who was not born disabled) was scapegoated by both Texas State Senator Wendy Russell Davis and her supporters, and (allegedly—as I read on Twitter, since I slept in late and missed "Geraldo" on WABC this morning) Geraldo Rivera—and I'd like to believe my sister that Geraldo meant "handi-CAPABLE", but (if he really said what @seaheather alleges that he said) I don't think that he meant "handi-capable". Even Geraldo Rivera apparently (and disappointingly so) goes to prove my point!

Meanwhile, I gotta go....while I'm typing this, my mom and sister are trying to justify not owing me an apology for not knowing what they're talking about when it comes to being disabled in society!  

Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Are You Mentally or Neurologically Abnormal Like I Am?

<a href="http://www.sodahead.com/living/do-you-struggle-with-psychological-psychiatric-andor-other-mental-andor-neurological-disorders/question-4034323/" title="Do you struggle with psychological, psychiatric, and/or other mental and/or neurological disorders?">Do you struggle with psychological, psychiatric, and/or other mental and/or neurological disorders?</a>


The conversation needs to continue to be had, and I hope to contribute to it.

Monday, October 28, 2013

My "PS" Status For October 28, 2013 (Cheshvan 22, 5773) at 1:37:57 AM EDT

I definitely went insane in describing how badly I need G-d to send me someone, my experience as a disabled Levite, &c.. I deservedly got a status unshared for that one, and I apologize for that. Meanwhile, to be fair, though, it does show you how serious the implications are considering that the disabled among my ancestors could not serve in the Temple (cf. Leviticus 21:17-24; and remember that Rosalia Dudayova Nagyova was a kohenet, and Johanna Hanzokova Foczkova was one if Helena Lazarova Hanzokova was one and perhaps a descendant of Ele'azar ben Aharon).

Also, consider how Avraham and Ya'akov—men who looked to the coming of the Messiah (quite technically, among the first Christians)—cheated on their non-disabled wives (Sarah and Leah, respectively. Avraham cheated on Sarah with Hagar, for example; and look who took three wives besides Le'ah instead of having the grace to annul his marriage to or divorce Le'ah when he realized that they were both tricked into taking each other instead of him being given Rachel. And none of those women were disabled—yet Abraham and Jacob cheated on them; and I'm descended from Leah's son Levi, and the Messiah made Himself to be descended from Levi and his brother Yehudah, but that doesn't make what avi Ya'akov did right.).

Do I feel encouraged, then? Not at all! I even asked another friend, when he said "I believe God will help you find that man that will be with you for the rest of your life.", "what if "the rest of [my] life" entail until he cheats on me for a younger, more-able woman and I commit suicide?"

In other words, I apologize for going insane and still hold that desperately needing prayer for G-d to send me someone isn't just smack talk with which I'm playing around—it has a lot of implications from me as a disabled Levite who's descended from at least one kohenet and can't guarantee that a Christian (including any given Messianic Jewish) man wouldn't cheat on her for even a younger, more-able woman, either.

Friday, October 11, 2013

My Facebook and Twitter Update For October 11, 2013 (Cheshvan 6, 5773) at 10:09 PM EDT

I'm just going to bed. It's obviously just not been a good day or a good week for me. As I said before, pray that I can put G-d (G-d willing) to the bachan (בחן; not the nasah [נסה]) and that G-d sends me the love of my life or someone better. I'm probably (as usual and again) the only one praying that I can put G-d to the בחן, and there I go again having to do all of the work; and I resent that I'm the one doing all the work again—G-d won't hear my prayers when few or no others are praying with and/or for me.

And some can think that I'm faking it or s***ing around, but they have no idea until they live with that which I've lived. Let me give you an idea in case you haven't been paying attention or even cared to do so:

  1. Diplegic Spastia Cerebral Palsy
  2. Obsessive Compulsive/Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  3. Major Depressive Disorder
  4. Attention Deficit Disorder
  5. Irritable Bowel Syndrome
  6. Being a divorce statistic without ever even having been married. Ready? My dad and both of his living siblings have all divorced and/or remarried; my mom and all but two of her living siblings have divorced and/or remarried; my Czarnecki great-grandparents had an extremely-miserable marriage; and my Green great-great-great-grandmother divorced—plus my Cassilly-Farrell great-great-great-grandparents separated at least twice. I've also been in two failed relationships—one from August 2004-May 2005, and one from February 2013-March 2013. Statistically, I am set to get divorced—and counting that men have left wives over Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, and other issues, you may gladly add in my CP, OCD/GAD, MDD, ADD, and/or IBS as all reasons why a guy wouldn't even want to date me. By the way, you may add in the CP alone. Who wants to deal with, e.g., the girl with the "casts on [her] legs", the "gimp", etc. if he certainly won't stay with a woman with breast cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, or anything else—even the common human condition known as getting old?
  7. My sordid family history—please consider alone that my paternal grandmother's mother and her dad both betrayed relatives during the Holocaust. And what is my family under? A third-generation curse (counting from Great-Grandma Gaydos) or a fourth-generation curse (counting from Great-Great-Granddad Rusnak). "‘The Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’" Not only Numbers 14:18 states this; and you may add in, e.g., Genesis 12:1-3 as well. Also please consider that I'm a bat-Anusim.
  8. I am still in college and I am 23 years old.
I can add more, but I will sum up my life up for you with what eight points I've given:

I am the dirty little secret or (so to speak) elephant in the room about whom most people—even most people in my life over the course of my lifehave been or are socially polite (and/or with whom they've dealt because they've felt that they've had to do so for whatever reason), who most people have hated or hate, and.or who many of most of the socially-polite and hating people wish to see dead. After all, I am the "gimp" with the "casts on [her] legs" who has more than the CP with which to deal—for example, four other conditions than the CP and being a never-married divorce statistic with two failed relationships at the age of 23.

As I have said, people don't think that I notice this s*** or want me notice what they really think of me—I am well aware of what I am and I know what people really think of me. I have also said that while things will get better if G-d is willing that they do so, He doesn't guarantee anythingHe just promises what's in His will. I have furthermore said that G-d can beat what odds He's created, but He often doesn't—just, for instance, look at that I've already had two failed relationships at the age of 23 and as a descendant (not just a child, but a mulit-generational, multi-familial descendant) of divorce. Also, again, count that  CP, OCD/GAD, MDD, ADD, and/or IBS as all reasons why a guy wouldn't even want to date me,.since men have left wives over Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, and other issues.

As I have even furthermore said, I am certainly not the stupidest person or (so to speak) dullest bulb in the bunch, dullest knife in the shed, etc.. That's part of why I at least need some people to pay attention and, as I asked that more people do, pray that I can put G-d (G-d willing) to the bachan (בחן; not the nasah [נסה]) and that G-d sends me the love of my life or someone better.

But I'm not going to get a guy, let alone a good guy, right? There's the paradox: because of my CP alone—let alone my other conditions and sordid family history—I need a guy for practical purposes! Don't you get it?! That's why I need you to pray, pray, pray, and pray if you will do at least something for me—praying for me is a heck of a lot better than being socially polite about me or just dealing with (i.e., tolerating, putting up with) me, hating me, and/or wishing me dead (As I said, I notice what you really think of me; and to be more honest with you, some of you are affecting me to be driven to outright calling you morons—although I suppose that that's giving you too much credit! I should be calling the morons among you "fools"!).

By the way, I'm not Jesus (and I know that I'm not Jesus; much less Jeremiah, Job, Amos, Habakkuk, or any other person who has gone through worse pain than me); but my pain is not taken away or mitigated (at least in proportion, since G-d gives pain to each person his or her proportionality to how much he or she was created to handle if he or she could)—and what did Jesus say? "‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’" and, conversely, "‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ "

In conclusion, perhaps you will consider your own sakes if (and, for the fools, since) you won't consider what I need; so I'm giving you a chance to do that by quoting Jesus and reminding you that I am—believe me or not, and if I am nothing else to you or anyone else—one of the least of these. Save your own tuchuses and do something worthwhile for me—even if just for you in the endfor once instead of being socially polite toward/dealing with/tolerating me, hating me, and/or wishing me dead.

Also, as usual, ל'לילה ושבת טוב תכתבו. (although I know that have of you wish even the opposite for me).