If I Am Going To Be An Advocate For the Disabled...

I'm the Martin Luther King, Jr. of people with disabilities, or at least I'd better be. Dr. Rev. King had a dream:

And when this happens, and when we allow freedom ring, when we let it ring from every village and every hamlet, from every state and every city, we will be able to speed up that day when all of God's children, black men and white men, Jews and Gentiles, Protestants and Catholics, will be able to join hands and sing in the words of the old Negro spiritual:

                Free at last! Free at last!

                Thank God Almighty, we are free at last!³

That dream, however, has clearly not come true for the disabled. We are, for a lack of a better term, today's "Negros" (Remember how Senator Harry Reid even defined then-Senator Obama as a "light-skinned African American with no Negro dialect"?). Just like African Americans were solely defined by their skin color and ethnicity, those of us who have disabilities are defined by our disabilities—and whether we're Jews or gentiles, Blacks or Non Blacks (heck, even Black Jews), or anything else does not matter.

We're the "cripples". The "retards". The "gimps". It's even embedded in our political language. Ask Scumbag Steve or the Far Right who hates "libtards". Ask the despicable tweeter who told me to "Pls stfu" when I confronted her on calling Democrats "handicapped Democraps". Ask Wendy Russell Davis and her supporters who made fun of Attorney General Greg Abbott. Ask the rapper who said that John McCain doesn't belong in a chair "unless he's paralyzed". Ask the "Crips", who would like to cripple people and are obviously making fun of people whose bodies are already crippled.

Ask even Geraldo Rivera, who (as I understand) called Greg Abbott "handicappable". Ask even the late Senator Ted Kennedy, who passed the Americans With Disabilities Act to score votes from the disabled community—which is pretty obvious, given that he never brought his sister Rose home from the institution in which she was squared away; and she died being institutionalized instead of being on one of the Kennedy compounds and surrounded by family and friends (and Rose's being in a hospital in the state in which she was institutionalized and surrounded by only four family members, when she could have been at home and cared for by people who knew and loved her, does not count. Senator Kennedy was rich and resourced enough to bring her home where she knew and loved people, and could be familiar with her surroundings—and he knew it as well as I know it).

I could give more examples—for instance, how when people hobble, limp around, or fall is apparently funny (since, after all, that kind of situation is often used as "slapstick comedy" or "situational humor"). You get the point by now, though.

Since some clearly want to define me by my disability, you may get what you wanted—and whatever happens is on your hands as well as mine.

Alright; Alright; The Proverbial Cat Is Out Of The Bag

I thought that I hid this from Twitter, Facebook, and Yahoo!, since I didn't want to get into trouble with or being disfavored by Geraldo Rivera or other people. Nonetheless, I did ask, "Do you think that Geraldo Rivera will retire this year?" Even last night, Johnny Dollar tweeted me:

1. 63johnny dollar ‏@johnnydollar01Feb 1

   @Nickidewbear Remember Geraldo said big news about his tv show coming ‘by week’s end’? That was 2 wks ago! Have you heard anything? I havent

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2. 42N.V. Mara Czarnecki ‏@NickidewbearFeb 1

   @johnnydollar01 Me neither. I wonder what's going on.

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3. 63johnny dollar ‏@johnnydollar01Feb 1

   @Nickidewbear I don’t think his Saturday show has been on at all this year. Instead Red Eye and tonite a Hannity repeat. Odd.

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4. 42N.V. Mara Czarnecki ‏@NickidewbearFeb 1

   @johnnydollar01 I agree.

Please note that I made unequivocally and absolutely clear, "I'm a fan of Geraldo. I'm just seeing that Geraldo's glory days could possibly be coming to a sad end. He will be 71 on July 4th, though; and his dad did sadly die at the age of 72 on Thanksgiving Day of 1987. So, Geraldo could be slowing down professionally in (God forbid) his final years. Also, he did eerily say that he has four more years left in him professionally speaking a while back."

Please especially take careful notes of the phrase "I'm a fan", "sad end", "sadly", "God forbid", and "eerily". I also did not vote on the poll myself. I hope that Geraldo lives to be 120 years old and has 50 more professional years, and even makes a comeback that I would envy—e.g., 504 "likes" on a picture during the Superbowl is good enough; and imagine how many likes he'd get if he made a full comeback!

One voter (not to mention that my sister has) even asked (as my sister has several times), "Who gives a crap?" (As my sister has asked it, "Who cares?") My response is, "I cares." or "I care. Aren't I somebody?" or "I care. Am I a nobody?" Besides, as one person stated on Geraldo's photo, "Geraldo, you deserve major cheers for the reporting you did on Willowbrook and the mistreatment of the mentally challenged. That's what I always will remember you for."

As I've said myself (even though Mom and Michelle try to convince me of otherwise), Geraldo kept me out of Willowbrook—I would've been in there for having Cerebral Palsy alone. The OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD would've just been the proverbial icing on the proverbial cake of excuses for someone who would've wanted to put me in Willowbrook (e.g., Dad or Pop-Pop, and they would have made sure that the divorce-case judge ordered Mom to do that or give custody to Dad so that he could do that).

So, at risk of getting into trouble and incurring disfavor, I ask whether you think that Geraldo Rivera will (in my opinion, sadly) retire this year.

Open Letter To Stephen Colbert (And Be Warned That You Might Be Offended)

With all due respect, Mr. Colbert, you are scum! You state, "“I’ve got nothing against brains, some of my best friends have them[;] but you cannot scrap football over brain damage. Just ask the brain-damaged.”"

For one matter, people are not brain damaged just because they disagree with you. For another matter, football players know the risks—and if they don't, something should tell them that wearing helmets means protection from the possibility of brain damage. For still another matter, you insult the really brain damaged, who could never or can no longer make their own decisions competently and independently. Ask my granduncle Jim—whose son's brain was damaged by unexplainable seizures and an overdose of codeine, which his aunt had no idea was an allergen to him when she took him to the hospital to try to stop her one-a-half-year-old nephew's seizures. Also ask my cousins Kevin and Kayla (if they'll talk to you, since they surely won't talk to me)—their mother attempted suicide and can't remember her three months in the hospital that followed her suicide attempt. She asked questions like, "You were there?" when Kayla talked about being at the hospital—she clearly couldn't remember, and that she had damaged her heart sac and kidneys was enough. Ask her older brother, my dad, while you're at it.

Again, Mr. Colbert, you, with all due respect, are scum—and as blunt and harsh as that is, that is a compliment to someone who would insult those with whom he disagrees and make fun of mentally-disabled people.

Part Of Why I Just Feel Like Giving Up Quite Often

https://twitter.com/GeraldoRivera/status/426684163291226112I didn't necessarily know how to start answering the question of why I just feel like giving up quite often. Then I found a Sodahead poll that gave me a start. As I answered, life is getting worse in general. "It's a paradox. On one hand, we'll always have poor people (cf. Matthew 26:11, Mark 14:7, John 12:8). On the other, much is required from whom has much (cf. Luke 12:48). Now, nobody was poor among the Church in its early days (cf. Acts 4:32-5:11), but we're in the End Days and life is getting worse and worse (cf. Daniel 12:1, e.g.)."

Since (as the old saying goes) it's all going to Hell (quite literally, and at least for a little while, anyway—for "Heaven and earth will pass away," as Matthew 24:35a states) and there will be a new Heaven and new Earth (cf. Revelation 21:1, e.g—meaning that this age will pass away, and a new age that'll last for 1,000 years and eternity will come), just to throw in the towel (so to speak) is quite tempting. Besides, I just found out that my major may indefinitely leave me in unemployment limbo—and I obviously still don't have a job, or else I wouldn't be in unemployment limbo (well, really, non-employment limbo—since I've never been employed, so I can't have ever been unemployed). Also, as my Political Science 301 class's textbook reads, Political Science is a major for those who want to study (e.g., research in) the science of politics, not actually practice politics—and I may have majored in History or Journalism had I known that, and even Mom says that I should have majored in Computer Science or Information Systems instead of Political Science—and here, I thought that I had a major that would help me get into the news business or politics! 

Furthermore, my attempt at getting even an interview miserably has failed so far—and both times!—and on the day that I was going to improve my interview video (long story short), I was unable to make the video due to audio and other problems (e.g., a fight with my sister that did not end well—and to end that fight took a lot of time and energy). Also, being on LinkedIn has not helped.

Apparently, doing a YouTube video and utilizing social media to even seek an interview in this day and age has ironically (and/or paradoxically) backfired—here, as a friend noted, I was trying to be innovative and, in my innovation, miserably failed. In addition, Mom said that I should do it the traditional way and send out resumes, cover letters, etc..

Well, excuse me, Mom—if I could drive around to employment places and send out resumes, etc., I would. Then again, I really have no resume on which to go. In addition, being (or at least trying to be) humble and honest (as is my Christian duty) leaves me all the more in non-employment limbo. One of the criticisms that I got was that I was too personal in my interview video. Well, excuse me—what would have happened if I didn't disclose that, for instance, I have Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD until an interview? Either way, I'm screwed: damned if I do, and damned if I don't!

Furthermore (again with Mom not knowing what the heck she's saying), disabled people are still looked at as liabilities and scapegoats (and again, what would have happened if I didn't disclose that, for instance, I have Cerebral Palsy, OCD/Anxiety, Depression, and ADD until an interview?). After all, Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott (who was not born disabled) was scapegoated by both Texas State Senator Wendy Russell Davis and her supporters, and (allegedly—as I read on Twitter, since I slept in late and missed "Geraldo" on WABC this morning) Geraldo Rivera—and I'd like to believe my sister that Geraldo meant "handi-CAPABLE", but (if he really said what @seaheather alleges that he said) I don't think that he meant "handi-capable". Even Geraldo Rivera apparently (and disappointingly so) goes to prove my point!

Meanwhile, I gotta go....while I'm typing this, my mom and sister are trying to justify not owing me an apology for not knowing what they're talking about when it comes to being disabled in society!  

Are You Mentally or Neurologically Abnormal Like I Am?

Public OpinionPoll Results

The conversation needs to continue to be had, and I hope to contribute to it.

My "PS" Status For October 28, 2013 (Cheshvan 22, 5773) at 1:37:57 AM EDT

I definitely went insane in describing how badly I need G-d to send me someone, my experience as a disabled Levite, &c.. I deservedly got a status unshared for that one, and I apologize for that. Meanwhile, to be fair, though, it does show you how serious the implications are considering that the disabled among my ancestors could not serve in the Temple (cf. Leviticus 21:17-24; and remember that Rosalia Dudayova Nagyova was a kohenet, and Johanna Hanzokova Foczkova was one if Helena Lazarova Hanzokova was one and perhaps a descendant of Ele'azar ben Aharon).

Also, consider how Avraham and Ya'akov—men who looked to the coming of the Messiah (quite technically, among the first Christians)—cheated on their non-disabled wives (Sarah and Leah, respectively. Avraham cheated on Sarah with Hagar, for example; and look who took three wives besides Le'ah instead of having the grace to annul his marriage to or divorce Le'ah when he realized that they were both tricked into taking each other instead of him being given Rachel. And none of those women were disabled—yet Abraham and Jacob cheated on them; and I'm descended from Leah's son Levi, and the Messiah made Himself to be descended from Levi and his brother Yehudah, but that doesn't make what avi Ya'akov did right.).

Do I feel encouraged, then? Not at all! I even asked another friend, when he said "I believe God will help you find that man that will be with you for the rest of your life.", "what if "the rest of [my] life" entail until he cheats on me for a younger, more-able woman and I commit suicide?"

In other words, I apologize for going insane and still hold that desperately needing prayer for G-d to send me someone isn't just smack talk with which I'm playing around—it has a lot of implications from me as a disabled Levite who's descended from at least one kohenet and can't guarantee that a Christian (including any given Messianic Jewish) man wouldn't cheat on her for even a younger, more-able woman, either.

My Facebook and Twitter Update For October 11, 2013 (Cheshvan 6, 5773) at 10:09 PM EDT

I'm just going to bed. It's obviously just not been a good day or a good week for me. As I said before, pray that I can put G-d (G-d willing) to the bachan (בחן; not the nasah [נסה]) and that G-d sends me the love of my life or someone better. I'm probably (as usual and again) the only one praying that I can put G-d to the בחן, and there I go again having to do all of the work; and I resent that I'm the one doing all the work again—G-d won't hear my prayers when few or no others are praying with and/or for me.

And some can think that I'm faking it or s***ing around, but they have no idea until they live with that which I've lived. Let me give you an idea in case you haven't been paying attention or even cared to do so:

1. Diplegic Spastia Cerebral Palsy
2. Obsessive Compulsive/Generalized Anxiety Disorder
3. Major Depressive Disorder
4. Attention Deficit Disorder
5. Irritable Bowel Syndrome
6. Being a divorce statistic without ever even having been married. Ready? My dad and both of his living siblings have all divorced and/or remarried; my mom and all but two of her living siblings have divorced and/or remarried; my Czarnecki great-grandparents had an extremely-miserable marriage; and my Green great-great-great-grandmother divorced—plus my Cassilly-Farrell great-great-great-grandparents separated at least twice. I've also been in two failed relationships—one from August 2004-May 2005, and one from February 2013-March 2013. Statistically, I am set to get divorced—and counting that men have left wives over Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, and other issues, you may gladly add in my CP, OCD/GAD, MDD, ADD, and/or IBS as all reasons why a guy wouldn't even want to date me. By the way, you may add in the CP alone. Who wants to deal with, e.g., the girl with the "casts on [her] legs", the "gimp", etc. if he certainly won't stay with a woman with breast cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, or anything else—even the common human condition known as getting old?
7. My sordid family history—please consider alone that my paternal grandmother's mother and her dad both betrayed relatives during the Holocaust. And what is my family under? A third-generation curse (counting from Great-Grandma Gaydos) or a fourth-generation curse (counting from Great-Great-Granddad Rusnak). "‘The Lord is longsuffering and abundant in mercy, forgiving iniquity and transgression; but He by no means clears the guilty, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generation.’" Not only Numbers 14:18 states this; and you may add in, e.g., Genesis 12:1-3 as well. Also please consider that I'm a bat-Anusim.
8. I am still in college and I am 23 years old.

I can add more, but I will sum up my life up for you with what eight points I've given:

I am the dirty little secret or (so to speak) elephant in the room about whom most people—even most people in my life over the course of my life—have been or are socially polite (and/or with whom they've dealt because they've felt that they've had to do so for whatever reason), who most people have hated or hate, and.or who many of most of the socially-polite and hating people wish to see dead. After all, I am the "gimp" with the "casts on [her] legs" who has more than the CP with which to deal—for example, four other conditions than the CP and being a never-married divorce statistic with two failed relationships at the age of 23.

As I have said, people don't think that I notice this s*** or want me notice what they really think of me—I am well aware of what I am and I know what people really think of me. I have also said that while things will get better if G-d is willing that they do so, He doesn't guarantee anything—He just promises what's in His will. I have furthermore said that G-d can beat what odds He's created, but He often doesn't—just, for instance, look at that I've already had two failed relationships at the age of 23 and as a descendant (not just a child, but a mulit-generational, multi-familial descendant) of divorce. Also, again, count that  CP, OCD/GAD, MDD, ADD, and/or IBS as all reasons why a guy wouldn't even want to date me,.since men have left wives over Breast Cancer, Multiple Sclerosis, and other issues.

As I have even furthermore said, I am certainly not the stupidest person or (so to speak) dullest bulb in the bunch, dullest knife in the shed, etc.. That's part of why I at least need some people to pay attention and, as I asked that more people do, pray that I can put G-d (G-d willing) to the bachan (בחן; not the nasah [נסה]) and that G-d sends me the love of my life or someone better.

But I'm not going to get a guy, let alone a good guy, right? There's the paradox: because of my CP alone—let alone my other conditions and sordid family history—I need a guy for practical purposes! Don't you get it?! That's why I need you to pray, pray, pray, and pray if you will do at least something for me—praying for me is a heck of a lot better than being socially polite about me or just dealing with (i.e., tolerating, putting up with) me, hating me, and/or wishing me dead (As I said, I notice what you really think of me; and to be more honest with you, some of you are affecting me to be driven to outright calling you morons—although I suppose that that's giving you too much credit! I should be calling the morons among you "fools"!).

By the way, I'm not Jesus (and I know that I'm not Jesus; much less Jeremiah, Job, Amos, Habakkuk, or any other person who has gone through worse pain than me); but my pain is not taken away or mitigated (at least in proportion, since G-d gives pain to each person his or her proportionality to how much he or she was created to handle if he or she could)—and what did Jesus say? "‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’" and, conversely, "‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.’ "

In conclusion, perhaps you will consider your own sakes if (and, for the fools, since) you won't consider what I need; so I'm giving you a chance to do that by quoting Jesus and reminding you that I am—believe me or not, and if I am nothing else to you or anyone else—one of the least of these. Save your own tuchuses and do something worthwhile for me—even if just for you in the end—for once instead of being socially polite toward/dealing with/tolerating me, hating me, and/or wishing me dead.

Also, as usual, ל'לילה ושבת טוב תכתבו. (although I know that have of you wish even the opposite for me). 

Call This Person A "Living Miscarriage", Corinne Kaplan!

Your comment about Philip ain't so good or hot now, eh, Corinne? May she never even be qualified to serve on the beit-din for the Third Temple's kohein selection!

Secret's Out, Folks ;-) ...

I have C.P.! Herp a derp!


In all seriousness, that I have C.P. has been known forever! I also have OCD/GAD, MDD, ADD, and IBS!

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