Remembering When, Part Two

I really do not feel like writing tonight, since I had a depressive breakdown. Nonetheless, I promised to write "part-by-part on (at maximum) a daily basis (minimum more than one part a day) at thenicolefactor.blogspot.com". This memoir originally began as a Stage32 project (I am not promoting them or endorsing them, by the way—nor am I demoting or discouraging them—I was invited to Stage32 and felt that I needed to write something to qualify for my invite.). Thus, my acquaintances's suggestion that my family story be turned into a book or movie already had been a suggestion to me (from me to myself, as I recall) previously—though I would have honestly delayed resuming or rewriting the memoir without his suggestion. Part of the delay would have been due to Depression.

That I have Depression is important to mention because Depression goes down the line from Great-Granddad (about whose suicide you will read later) to Pop-Pop (unless it skipped a generation, but I doubt that it did), Dad (e.g., Those pill bottles in his apartment were not just B-12 vitamins  and now I know what purpose they served.), and me. Also, Depression is nothing new to the Jewish community. As Yehovah (Blessed be He.) wrote through Moses:

"And among these nations shalt thou find no ease , neither shall the sole of thy foot have rest: but the LORD shall give thee there a trembling heart, and failing of eyes, and sorrow of mind: And thy life shall hang in doubt before thee; and thou shalt fearday and night, and shalt have none assurance of thy life: 67 In the morning thou shalt say , Would God it were even! and at even thou shalt say , Would God it were morning! for the fear of thine heart wherewith thou shalt fear , and for the sight of thine eyes which thou shalt see."

(I am using the King James Version; so, Ms. Stuart would have no reason to roll in her grave could she do so.).

Ironically, I come from a Phraisee ("Rabbinate") family (See Matthew 23:8-10 for why I do not use "rabbi" or any word thereinvolving.)—so, I am not supposed to use "Yehovah". However, as I have learned, nowhere in Scripture does Yehovah say that one may not use His name altogether. My family had no interest in this, though—in fact, as my Aunt Mary told me, they did not even really have reverence toward Yehovah. As Aunt Mary described to me, her first reference to God and Jesus came from an argument between my grandparents:

"God damn it, Joan!"

"Jesus Christ, Jack! The neighbors will think you're crazy!"

Their reverence was and has been toward maintaining appearances of being a perfect, Slavic-American Roman Catholic family—at least since they became Crypto Jews (or Anusim; Hebrew "אנוסים"—"forced ones" or "hidden ones"). This might help to explain the exacerbation of the Depression in our family—and it's what led up to Great-Granddad Czarnecki's 60th and final year, beginning with him and his family when they became Anusim in Lipsk nad Biebrzą in about the year of Great-Granddad's birth. 

Remembering When, Part One

Scrapping my old family-history memoir and writing a new one, I begin with the following conversation that I had with an acquaintance. I begin with this particular conversation because it'll help you understand why Alan Jackson's "Remember When" is really my Czarnecki great-grandparents' story, and their story is (if you will) the linchpin story in my family story—that is, the story that connects the other one and really makes up my family history. Of course, I'm well aware that almost everyone (as can be seen on the YouTube version of "Remember When") could, would, or even did say that this is their story, or their relative's story, or whoever else's story. Nonetheless, you would see that (as I saw that) "Remember When" was written almost as if Alan Jackson knew my family story well before I did and even continued to probe into my family history to complete the song.

For copyright reasons (and, incidentally, part of which adds to my disdain for Ann Stuart and the Copyright Act of 1708-1710), I cannot get into a breakdown of the lyrics. However, you will be able to break down the lyrics for yourself and find my Czarnecki great-grandparents' story in them when you read their story (and, incidentally again, I guess that Ms. Stuart forgot the wisdom of another monarch—an ancient Jewish monarch by the name of Shlomo ben David—to whom I may be related, as you will find out, by the way. Also, "the wisdom of...Shlomo ben David" is actually the wisdom of Yehovah [Blessed be He.]—and I will make clear throughout that I—as many of my relatives did and do—believe that the Bible is the inerrant, infallible God in written form Himself.).

Meanwhile, here is the conversation that started the rewriting of this memoir (and it heavily indicates that my Messianic Jewish beliefs define who I am, how I view my family history, and every other factor in my life and background):

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Ever been in the states?

10/4, 2:02am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Oh yes.

I'm still in them.

I was born in the Diaspora.

I plan to make aliyah as soon as Netanyahu and Likud find their government collapsed on themselves.

10/4, 2:03am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Whr is that?

10/4, 2:04am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Netanyahu and his government don't allow Messianic or Patrilineal Jews to make aliyah as Jews.

We have to call ourselves gentiles of Jewish descent or convert, and I won't do either.

10/4, 2:05am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

oh i have to google this.

10/4, 2:05am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

They even let Yad L'Achim infiltrate the Interior and Foreign Affairs Ministries.

Good idea.

I had to learn a lot by Googling and following the news, etc. myself.

I even had no clue that my dad is Jewish.

10/4, 2:06am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Well if your in new york holla at me. Wow yr dad??

10/4, 2:07am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Yep. He still gets mad at me for finding out. When I told him that, e.g., his paternal grandmother (Mary Trudniak Czarnecki)'s dad's maternal family (the Nagys) converted because of Anti Semitism, etc., he was like, "I don't want to go there." and "You can't ascribe motives to" why they converted.

10/4, 2:08am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Also, for years, this is the story that I got...

10/4, 2:08am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Wow girl i feel for ya!!!

10/4, 2:09am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Anthony Czarnecki, a relative or even descendant of Polish-Lithuanian szlachta Stefan Czarniecki, comes over here as an adult and marries Mary Trudniak. He serves in Korea, and--after working in the coal mines for years--dies of Black Lung in 1972.

I feel more for them. They miss the richness of our real story by denying it.

Real story, beginning with Tony (as they called him)...

10/4, 2:10am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

hhmmmm allot of rich history; shouldbe made into a book.

10/4, 2:11am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

I tried to do that for a while, actually. Once I can put more of the story together (Oy vey!), I'll pick up writing it down back up.

10/4, 2:12am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

So go back into it might even turn out to be a movie!!

10/4, 2:13am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

It could be. I have thought about that.

Especially since my last Fosko-Rusnak great-granduncle (of blessed memory) just died.

10/4, 2:14am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Don't waste time, move with the spirit and put ypu heart and soul into it. You have a gold mind here!!! What you waiting for??

your

10/4, 2:15am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Point taken. You're right.

I gotta figure out where to get started.

10/4, 2:16am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Anyway, beginning with Tony: a Czernecki boy was born in Cuman, Poland (Tsuman, Ukraine) to a Jewess from the Andrulevicus (Andrulewicz, etc.) family on October 24, 1904. The Jewess, Aleksjondria Andrulewiczowna Czernecka was en route to or from visiting a cousin, Vil'gel'm Andrulevich, in Buzhanka, Zvenigorodka (Buzhanka, Cherkas'ka) when she gave birth. Then came the pogroms, and Aleksjondria and her husband, Julian Jan "Feliks" Czernecki (whose birth names are actually unknown), converted themselves and their son "Antoni Jan" (as he became). Needless to say, their families were pissed and done with them...

10/4, 2:17am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Start where it hurts!! Im a filmaker.We have a thing we say in the field the first 10 minutes should be shocking to the viewer.

10/4, 2:18am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

They joined other Crypto-Jewish family over in America. As my granduncle Tony put it (and I love that he wrote this, not knowing that I suspected that we are Jews):

I don't know who came with the group to America. It seems that there were only a few family members and friends. These people mostly settled in NE PA. Your Great Grandfather had a few cousins living within 50 miles of Wilkes-Barre but none that were mentioned living in Patterson, NJ. The Patterson family may have, in fact, moved to PA at or after the same time as them. There were several "friends" in Sugar Notch and the area that would periodically return to Lisco Poland to visit family and mail was occasionally received by them from family in Poland. One of the friends who lived in Sugar Notch would bring pictures of Great Grandpop's family to share with him. Since he left at a young age, he didn't recognize anyone but as I recall they all had names of the people in the pictures on the back.

The move from Poland was permanent. There was never any talk of returning. Not even for a visit. After moving to Sugar Notch the family flourished economically. Julian & Alexandria eventually owned houses at 203, 205, and 207 Freed Street. They lived in 207 and sold 205 to Son, Joseph and 203 to Son, Anthony(great grandpop). All the boys worked at first in coal mine related jobs.

I never seen nor did anyone mention anything special brought from Poland. A friend from Sugar Notch, Mrs. Bertha Wawrzyn, visited Poland every few years to see her family and would visit the family while there. All she ever brought back were photos that she took of the Polish Czarnecki's (see earlier comments).

There was very little discussion of the Polish life and family. Usually, when there was, it was a brief mention of the farm that was left behind. There did not seem to be any regrets about leaving for a better life. After all , they settled among Polish, Slavic, Hungarian, Lithuanian, and Ukrainian people just like themselves. Similar language, similar customs, similar faces, houses, churches, etc. But life was much better than on the farm. They were quite happy in America and much better off. The motherland, Poland, was far off and just a memory, not to be forgotten but no regrets for leaving either.

Periodically a church pastor would run a heritage trip back to Poland for a group. Very few of those who immigrated would return. Occasionally someone "in the family" in America would join a relative for the return trip, Usually meeting the Polish or Slovak relatives for the first time and occasionally maintaining a letter writing relationship afterwards. This DID NOT happen in our family.

There was not very much correspondence with the Polish family. Only an infrequent letter. There were no exchanges other than through the Polish Church which would have clothing drives and send clothes to Poland in general, but not to specific family members. Bertha's photos which came after the trips were the only contact until they asked for the deed to be changed in the mid 1960's.

10/4, 2:19am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

That's only part of the e-mail. But we didn't write and they didn't write. Once the Holocaust was over and they made aliyah, they wrote to us only to ask for the farm back. Otherwise, all contact was done through Bertha.

To them, they wanted nothing to do with us. We were minim (heretics), koferim (apostates), and meshumadim (baptized koferim).

10/4, 2:20am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

yes a book!!

10/4, 2:21am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Will do, and thanks for the encouragement.

10/4, 2:21am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

anytime!

10/4, 2:21am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Meanwhile, both the Foskos (Foc(z)kos and Rus(z)n(y)aks) were Levites.

10/4, 2:22am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

yea?

10/4, 2:23am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

The great-granduncle was Staff Sgt. Andrew Lewis ("Levi's"?) Rusnak (I just realized that. I think that he changed it to "Louis".).

That's a long story, too.

So, Grandma's a Maternal Levite, and I have no clue what Pop-Pop is.

All I know is that Dad is a Maternal Levite, maybe of kohen descent.

10/4, 2:24am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

Wow i want to chat wit u in vid sometime we talk more deeply about this.

10/4, 2:25am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

The kohenim would be the Dudays ("Dudaj" or "Duday" means "horn" in Hungarian and could allude to shofars.).

Ok. That'd be cool. And thank you for listening to my story, by the way.

10/4, 2:26am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

anytime babe

10/4, 2:27am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

Thanks.

Have a good night, and thank you again.

10/4, 2:27am

[Acquaintance—Identity Protected]

you to lets talk again around sun if its good 4 u?

10/4, 2:53am

Nicole Maratovah Czarnecki

That'd be great.

(By the way, I have a Facebook page and a separate Facebook account for my public work and other public activities—I urge family to reach out to me on my private account. Also, good luck to the family who want to sue me—nothing that I have stated is untrue or even uninferable; you did not copyright our family history or the pictures that you provided, and I am as much a part of our family or families as you are. As Dad, of all people, told Pop-Pop, "You can't change history".)

Part 18 of My Stage32 Submission

Firstly, I have been busy and have not prioritized--e.g., made time for--writing out the family story. Secondly, I have found out a lot more to write down since the last time that I wrote--for example, incidentally (or not incidentally, depending on how you define "incidentally"), Dad did confirm the story regarding Vilmosz. Of course, he made excuses--e.g., how Great-Grandma had one kid (i.e., Grandaunt Helen), then two (Grandaunt Mary Ann), then three (Grandma) and so forth. Nonetheless--and even though the writing occured well after even Grandma was born, since the Nazis didn't invade then-Czechoslovakian and -Hungarian Slovakia until Grandma was three years old--, Dad confirmed that:

1. Women--or at least Great-Grandma Gaydos, even in the 30s and 40s--did have some control over the money after all.
2. Great-Granddad Gaydos was willing to let her help relatives, given--among other factors to consider--that he was a Jew himself, and but for the grace of G-d did Mihal Gajdosz and Katarina "Maria Uscianski" Uszinsky--not to mention his in-law parents--go.
3. Great-Grandma damned well knew what was happening in Europe and refused to help the family, anyway.
4. Among other factors to consider, there are good reasons why Tibor immigrated to Ohio--where other Rusznyaks had immigrated--instead of Pennsylvania--to where he may have immigrated had we not betrayed him and his side (and other sides) of the family--, and never talked to us.

I could go on, but you get the point. Meanwhile, I considered another factor, too:

"' 'Twas the night before Christmas, and...'"

Mass--if we went, anyway, though they did--and traditions about a Polish Catholic Christmas were--so to speak--thrown in there. There was not much--if anything--about the Bible. What we would do with "' 'Twas the night...'", though:

"' 'Twas the night before Christmas, and...'"

Pass the gift around.

"'The stockings were hung 'round the fireplace with care, and..."

Pass the gift around...

"And to all a good night."

Whoever had the gift after all of the "and"s, and the story concluded, got to keep the gift.

So much for Polish-Lithuanian and Czechoslovakian Catholics, huh? I mean, how much more secular for real--or actual--Polish-Lithuanian and Czechoslovakian Catholics can you get--especially, as Aunt Mary related to me one time, it was (as she learned the hard way during a phone call) about tradition and not Jesus?

Part 17 of My Stage32 Submission

While I'm waiting for Bill O'Reilly to come on KABC, I finally have--and have made--time to continue with the anecdotes about Pop-Pop--as I stated, you should see a clear picture emerging. By the way, how often do you get to follow the writer through his or her writing process as he or she is writing? As I'm telling my family story--and indeed, now it can be told (since, after all, Dad claims to he has nothing--or mostly nothing--to hide)--, I also want you to follow my day-to-day--or however-frequent--writing process. Of course, the editors are going to have a heck of a time and process with what I notice already has some inconsistencies in terms of writing style, etc..

Anyway, another anecdote--and one that proves that the family were not even just secular Polish-Lithuanian Catholics. By the way, what compelling reason would Aunt Mary have to lie--which I've asked Dad himself--about anything? Aunt Mary's--and likely Dad's and Uncle Gary's--first knowledge about God and Jesus:

"God damn it, Joan."

"Jesus Christ, Jack--the neighbors will think you're crazy."

And then came the closing of the blinds and chasing around the house. By the way--as I've discussed before--, Aunt Mary was not named for the Virgin Mary--she was named for her grandmothers, Mary Trudniak Czarnecki and Marysia "Mary" Rusnak Gaydos. Also, her name was "Mary Joan"--and Grandma (going against her and Pop-Pop's agreement) deceitfully slipped "Joan" onto the birth certificate--her name was originally going to be "Mary".

So much for Polish Lithuanian--and (in Grandma's case) Czechoslovakian--Catholics, huh? 

Part 16 Of My Stage32 Submission

As the old saying goes, "Now it can be told."--and in this case, I add that I frankly do not care how much trouble I get into. I talked to my dad recently--and yes, I am trying to reconcile with my dad--, and I sadly heard only accusations that Aunt Mary has "mental problems" and is actually angry that Pop-Pop did not preserve Great-Grandma's life with extreme measures. Nonetheless--if Dad is to be believed--, that medical records indicate that Great-Grandma was "bleeding from the rectum" only confirm that Aunt Mary wtanted exactly what Great-Grandma wanted--that is, for Great-Grandma to die at home as Great-Grandma herself requested.

As for Aunt Mary having mental problems, I can assure you that--based on other stories which I have heard and experiences that I have had--Aunt Mary has no mental problems whatsoever. As I stated, Great-Grandma Czarnecki's murder will become important when I jump back to how Pop-Pop treated others--and so I jump back.

By the way, Grandma laughed when telling the following anecdote. When she and Pop-Pop were dating--in the 1950s, when dating was much more exclusive than it is now--, Pop-Pop took someone else to a New Year's dance when Grandma could not go to the dance due to a curfew that her mom set. Why Grandma would, meanwhile, I do not know--whether she was nervous or hiding pain behind laughter, or actually thought that it was funny is left up to my best guess at this point. Nonetheless, it showed me that Pop-Pop would not bother to wait for his girl or just enjoy the time with friends instead of cheating on her.

As for another anecdote--besides the "those" anecdote--, I myself experienced this one:

Pop-Pop: "...and the Orientals--"

Dad: "Asians, Dad!"

Pop-Pop: "Anyway, the ASIANS..."

I do not buy that a former IRS Agent and Crypto Jew did not know better or just slipped up--after all, his brother Tony deliberately (as I found out later) deliberately moved away from Sugar Notch to (in part) escape the racism and lack of diversity there.

As for another self-experienced anecdote:

Pop-Pop: "There were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq"

Dad: "The weapons were moved to Syria"

...

Dad: "You can't change history, Dad!"

Hold on for more anecdotes--and did I not tell you that Great-Grandma's murder is important in light of how Pop-Pop treats others? See if you can see a clear picture emerging.