Doesn't Darby Conley realize that he has a Jewish cousin? I'm serious—my maternal granddad (Francis "X." Allen)'s paternal grandmother was Margaret Conley Allen. I don't know how distant the connection is, by the way; but it's there somehow. Remember that Gaelicer folks are part of clans (That's just how that works.).
By the way, I just found out what her surname was (Finally!) a while ago.